#Mabel and Stan get along well
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baddecisionsgoooo0 · 6 months ago
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Grundletale (or Grunkletale)
more thoughts on the Grundletale Au (also I think I like Grunkletale better)
it starts out the same as regular Gravity Falls, up until Bottomless Pit.
Grunkle Stan never returns from the second time falling in, and the kids are concerned. within the week, they call a meeting with Wendy and Soos, and Soos becomes interim Mr. Mystery. Soos accidently becomes the town favorite, and Gideon loses popular support. The shack gets a series of expansions as Soos makes more money than ever before. The twins refuse to tell their parents Stan is missing, not wanting to return home.
Meanwhile, Stan hits the bottom and tries to figure out a way back home. He meets Flowey, and immediately reads Flowey as a threat. Toriel sorta saves him (Stan was about to throw down), and Stan presents himself as his Mr. Mystery persona. Stan hits on Toriel, she then tells him she's married.
Stan causes a distraction to slip past Toriel and escapes into the wider underground. From there, Stan has to find his way home. Although, something seems wrong. For some reason, Stan is haunted with images of Ford.
Turns out, there are a few dimensional weak points in the underground. In one of them, Stan pulls Ford through. because Ford wasn't moments away from killing Bill, he's not as mad. With certain characters, they may even get therapy!
Stan and Ford do something and break the barrier, letting monsters out into Gravity Falls. they return to see that shack is now massive, Soos is acting as Mr. Mystery, and the kids kept trying to find Stan.
The kids are confused, Soos accidently calls Stan dad, Wendy is glad her boss isn't dead. Stan takes back ownership of the shack, and Bill isn't really able to get any chance to enter the universe.
During a discussion about ownership of the shack, (Ford had it built, Stan paid 30~ years of mortgage, Soos expanded the shack massively), Stan purposely calls Soos his son, and hands him an adoption form.
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krysmcscience · 6 months ago
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Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)
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This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)
I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)
Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!
Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!
He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!
Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.
Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:
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I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao
Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)
Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:
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He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.
To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.
Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)
A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~
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The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D
No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.
I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:
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He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)
And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:
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Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:
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Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)
whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now
I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE
#fanart#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#stanley pines#the love god#human bill cipher#human bill design#fashion design#comics#poor stan gets to find out his twin boinked a triangle when the love god shows up at the mystery shack demanding payment LMAO#cue internal panic for stan as dipper and mabel lose their collective shit over the fact that they now have a surprise new grunkle bill#the love god helps himself get paid by teaching the kids how to trap bill in his human vessel for the foreseeable future#bill is bewildered and pissed but also very much 'holy shit i have a FAMILY again??? neat but terrifying??????? what the F*CK do i do now'#he then proceeds to attempt to lovebomb his new family into being okay with the impending apocalypse#all while the three of them attempt to lovebomb HIM into giving up his plans for said impending apocalypse#then two days later ford shows up and is just like. what the ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING???#cue stan immediately screaming 'I HAD TO PRETEND TO BE THAT THING'S HUSBAND FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT SO F*CK YOU AND YOUR BAD TASTE FOR THAT!'#stan spends those two days straight dropping very sour hints that he's being punished for someone else's terrible mistakes#bill finds this absolutely hilarious and thus plays along - but not without dropping his own hints that ford is the FAR superior twin#dipper and mabel have ZERO idea of what is actually going on because the love god did NOTHING to clarify the situation#dipper is convinced that stan and bill are speaking in some kind of bizarre code that only adults can understand#mabel is convinced that the code is flirting - which means stan and bill are going to live happily ever after and have tons of kids + pets#NEITHER of them are prepared for ford showing up. not that they were in canon. but still. now it's even MORE crazy#'what do you mean we get TWO NEW GRUNKLES???' 'two grunkles in two days - gotta be some kinda record'#ford then has to decide if he wants to remain justifiably furious at bill or join the other pines in lovebombing him into submission#he then gets to learn that lovebombing bill works surprisingly well because that triangle is just The Biggest Attention Wh*re#the entire AU would just be ridiculous antics with a splash of billford#these tags are an abomination lmao
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nenoname · 2 months ago
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wait did people actually interpret the stan o war ending as them not going back to gravity falls for a few months every year and instead as them only ever staying on the boat?? i thought that them staying for summers or just regular breaks + them constantly having video chats with family and friends was something everyone just assumed lol
(people tend to forget their motto of 'growing old doesn't mean growing up' too huh)
#the 'see you next summer' applied to them too!#plus the implication that hey we're actually gonna get grandpa stan when soos and melody have kids#he's gonna spoil them rotten and show off his cool adventures!!!#(but also him struggling with being called grandpa and everyone trying to stop him from getting them to call him grunkle instead)#(i can see the point of some folks being a bit ship brained about this when they say that ford would stay at mcgucket's mansion instead#sure he'd likely stay over a few times just like how mabel does with grenda and candy but he'd want to live in the shack??)#kinda wish that the hc that the reconstruction of the shack had them adding more rooms and renovating the basement was popular#'oh they'll argue like crazy' eh i think tbob especially is firm with their dynamic being pretty settled#it's like insisting that 'nah mabel and dipper should've actually been separated cos they argue all the time and will continue to argue'#or 'mabel and dipper should've stayed in gf!!! that's where all their closest family and friends are!!!'#or even 'they shouldn't go back to gf that's where all their most worst moments were and they were in danger all the time!!'#i think w3 was pretty firm that the moment they stop fighting they immediately get along super well???#plus the stan twins can also like make friends with people outside of town for once too#(stan.... noticably doesn't have any friends still ya know? and ford only has one ksahkdsha)#(it is pretty noticable that stan never really got along with any of the townsfolk....)#folks in that other post was very much 'well ford would want to have a home after being adrift for so long' and 1. family is what they#consider as home whether that be the boat or the shack#and 2. urgh people ignoring that stan was trapped in one place for 30 years....
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redeemed-wren · 7 months ago
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Have a sudden deep desire for a Gravity Falls-Hilda crossover
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maryellencarter · 2 months ago
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...I have no idea if I know literally anybody who knows both fandoms, but it just occurred to me that the Great Daruk (Breath of the Wild) and Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls) would probably get along absurdly well, to the regret of literally everyone around them. Also probably the bedazzlement of Divine Beast Vah Rudania
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sincerlyus · 7 months ago
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Reverse Falls!!
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Soo this is my take on Reverse Falls!! I don't really know which are the original designs or which are the new personalities that each character adapts, so I made my own headcanons!! :3
It should be noted that there are characters who do not change personalities with anyone, but rather their personalities are more exaggerated or are opposite to the originals. Or (in the case of McGucket) their relationships are different so they change their way of being progressively.
EXPLANATION TIME:
This is quite long, I'm going to explain the personalities of each one and how they relate to various characters. Credits to: hours of daydreaming and Google Translate  (TW: child abuse, emotional and physical abuse, homophobia, classism. I don't know if there's anything else, just in case)
Pacifica Northwest: Outgoing and very expressive. She didn't know Gideon very well until her parents sent her to Reverse Falls. She likes to knit, draw, and has a lot of stuffed animals. She has a lot of hair, and likes to do different hairstyles every day ("to be innovative"), cries when she has to cut it. She is very affectionate with Gideon and tries to get him out of his shell. She is a little insecure, but likes to see the positive side of things. She gets along very well with Bud, although sometimes she feels he is a little weird. Symbol: Llama (on her sweater)
Gideon Gleefull: Insecure, has little self-confidence, very skittish and anxious. Has a habit of chewing when he is thinking, like OG!Dipper (chewing on pens, his shirt, etc.). He didn't really know how to talk to Paz at first since the first time they met they were very little, what was she going to say?, was a "Hello" enough?, a handshake?, a complicated handshake?, was she going to ignore him? Paz simply gave him a big hug when she got off the bus (+ gave him a sweater she made on the way). Symbol: Telepathy star (in his hat)
Bud Gleefull: Ultimate scammer. Very friendly and funny, although sometimes a little intimidating. Bye Hawaiian shirts. Very patient with Gideon. He is basically the “cool uncle/dad”. He put Paz to work the day she arrived, although he became attached very quickly and gave her family privileges (he does the same with Gideon).
Mason “Dipper” Pines: He is still very insecure but is able to feign confidence when standing on stage with his sister. He still has a lot of passion for science, he is not very affectionate, he holds back his emotions as he does not want to look vulnerable, especially in front of Stanford. He has a lot of respect for Ford (or rather, fear), being his apprentice he sees him more as a teacher, a superior figure than as an uncle; however he has very little respect for Stan, threatening him and making fun of him. He does not usually use his amulet much, only to practice tricks or in his shows. He has a very distant relationship with his sister, similar to that of the Stan twins. They have many disagreements, but they still have each other's back, especially when Ford is aggressive with one of them. The most sincere relationship he has is with F, although he still treats him like an employee, knowing that he was one of the brilliant minds behind the portal he respects him. Sometimes he discusses theories and shares discoveries with him (although he is embarrassed to think that his only "friend" is an employee of his uncle). Once he met Gideon and Paz, he was able to show his more fragile side and be himself, although he doesn't consider them completely friends (that changes post-weirdmageddon). Symbol: Pine tree (a small pin)
Mabel Pines: A spoiled brat, basically. She's very charming and friendly on stage and with guests at the Pines' many parties, but she's very whiny and selfish behind the scenes. She's not at all affectionate, to the point that she hates physical contact, especially if it's from townspeople. She resents her brother a lot for being Ford's "favorite" (he doesn't really have favorites, he's just less strict with Dipper because he's useful to him). She's Stan's spoiled child, giving her what she wants when she wants it (they have a nice relationship actually, Stan being one of the only ones who comforts her when she's sad). Instead of knitting, she likes to design her own dresses and accessories for shows and parties (her guilty pleasure is arts & crafts, since it's a very "childish" activity for a Pines). Obsessed with Paz, but learns to respect her limits throughout the story. Symbol: Shooting Star (a small pin)
Stanley Pines: He basically swaps personalities with Bud, runs the Telepathy Tent, is very friendly, and is scared of his brother and the twins. He never gets involved in Ford's experiments, having a very tense relationship with him. He loves the twins very much but knowing the power they have with those amulets he prefers to go along with them and not question too much what they ask (he knows when to be firm but the one who really has an impact on them and can make them see reason is Ford). Symbol: Oyster(?? (on a necklace)
Stanford F. Pines: Did you think OG! Ford was a jerk? Well now he's twice as much! He doesn't have an ounce of empathy in him, he's very narcissistic and only cares about his projects and his image. He doesn't care at all about the twins, only seeing them as a way to make money, demanding the most out of them, and he doesn't hesitate to use violence if any of them get out of line. He's very distant with Stanley, speaking to him very dryly (or rather, barely speaking to him at all). He's almost a hermit, living in his laboratory, not letting the townspeople get to know him; although unlike OG! Ford, he cares a lot about how he presents himself in front of the public, taking care of his image and clothing. He's very demanding with Mabel, as he feels she's nothing more than a spoiled child, the image of the Telepathy Tent along with her brother. He is a bit kinder to Dipper, as he realizes that he has a brilliant mind for his age (though not more so than his own), so he includes him in many of his experiments and research if he proves useful; but excluding that, he is just as insensitive as he is with his twin, mistreating him if he does not comply with what is due. His relationship with McGucket is kinda weird: although they were friends in college, the power that Bill/Will offered him completely consumed him, being abusive to F, forcing him to work long nights, keeping him awake by force. He only sees him for his use: his great skill with mechanics (which Ford does not have, although he hates to mention it). Although he was in love with F while he was at Backupsmore, he currently has no romantic feelings towards him, considering him an employee, his assistant, nothing more. He has internalized homophobia (a gift from Filbrick) and classism, so he hates to remember when his relationship with F was one of equals, friends. It disgusts him to think about when he would get so emotional around him. Symbol: Six Fingered Hand (the diaries)
Fiddleford H. McGucket: He is still the brilliant mind he was in his youth, but stress eats him alive. He started to age very quickly thanks to it. He invented the memory gun to try to forget all the horrible things he witnessed or that Ford made him suffer, but his boss doesn't allow him to use it too much since it can damage his mental health and erase knowledge, making him less efficient and useful. He doesn't have a very deep relationship with Stanley, since he practically lives in the lab where Ford forces him to work, but they are able to talk whenever F has a break (almost never). He can't stand the twins too much, not only because he feels that they are very annoying, but because the simple presence of children in his day to day life reminds him a lot of Tate, with whom he no longer has contact. Everyone knows about the abusive relationship he has with Stanford, they are not indifferent to it but they try not to mention it or get involved in his affairs (practically out of fear of Ford).  Throughout his stay with Stanford he started developing an emotional dependence on him: not only did he make him feel that he was useless without him, but he uses violence on him when he is not fulfilling his duty, causing F to blame himself when this happens (What did he do wrong? What can he do to improve?). This got to the point where he started to hurt himself when he did not do something right. Ex: hitting himself when he noticed that his leg was bouncing in front of his anxiety (something that bothers Ford a lot), pulling out clumps of hair in front of the stress of not being able to achieve something, biting his nails, scratching himself, hitting his head (imagine Dobby from HP). Such actions and the mixed feelings he had towards Ford, made him develop masochism, enjoying when he inflicts pain on himself and when he is the victim of Ford's physical and psychological abuse, he clearly hid this for a while since it would look very unprofessional on his part.  Eventually his boss found out and used this to his advantage, being quite sadist himself (he enjoys watching or inflicting pain and/or humiliation on others, in this case, he gets sexual pleasure). So every time Ford needs to let off some steam, vent his frustrations (or is just horny), he uses Fiddleford to fulfill his fantasies, making F's wishes come true as well. He basically uses him as a sex toy, and F doesn't complain, having suffered so much emotional manipulation, he even considers himself lucky that his boss wants to be with him like this, even if it's NOT healthy. Symbol: Spectacles
Bill Cipher: I don't like the idea of ​​changing his name, so Bill stays. He's still the same chaotic demon as in the original series, but this time he's been tricked by Ford into working for him and doing his bidding. He's also forced to do the twins' bidding. We already know that Bill can change his shape and color, so I think all of his shame and self-pity manifests itself in his appearance, turning blue over time (any strong emotion makes him change his appearance). He manipulates Gideon and Paz, making them feel sorry for him so they'll do his bidding (it doesn't work, clearly). The people he has the most contact with are Ford and Fiddleford, as they spend most of their time in the basement where he's locked up.
So that's it. I don't really know how this timeline would work, considering the portal and the journals, but I just wanted to have fun with the character designs and relationships (I feel like the weirdmageddon would happen sooner than in the original timeline). If you want me to go deeper into certain relationships or characters, let me know!!(≧▽≦) I'll see if I can go deeper into the relationship between Ford and Fiddleford that you guys liked so much (you guys really like toxic yaoi, huh??). I'm thinking of making a fanfic or smt to explain their day to day life in the lab and how Ford invited F to work with him (SPOILER: it didn't go well...).
That's it ig, LIKE AND SUSCRIBE!!!1!!1!Σ(°ロ°)
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niiwa-angel · 7 months ago
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I can't stop thinking about how Stan Pines, a man who was kicked out of his home at a young age by his abusive father, turned his own home into such a safe space for not just the twins, but his employees and the kids friends as well.
First of all, we know Wendy frequently slacks off on her shifts, she has her roof top hideaway but she also reads magazines and flat out refuses to do certain tasks. Like when Stan asked her to put up a sign and she just said she couldn't reach it, or telling Stan "absolutely not" when he asked her and Soos to clean the bathrooms. Not only could Stan fire her, he could take away her magazines or stop her from going on the roof. We see that Stan is more observant than he lets on, you're telling me he didn't notice her dragging a cooler and a lawn chair up there? And she's either bringing her own pop and ice to fill that cooler or she's taking his.
And then there's Soos, who Stan cares about so much he got himself on the no-fly list trying to get his birthday removed from calendars, just because it made him upset. We know Soos cares about the Mystery Shack, he feels comfortable there, and he respects and adores Stan. Soos also volunteered to DJ for free at Stans summer party.
We also frequently see Soos and Wendy hanging out with the twins, so either they're slacking off during working hours or they're coming over after their shifts just to hang out. In an after credits scene, we see Mabel and Dipper turn Soos into a disco ball and they're clearly in the residential part of the shack. So either Soos buggered off during working hours to hang out with the twins or he's off shift just chilling. Either way, Stan is fine with him being in the actual house part of the shack.
Wendy also helps Mabel try and make Stan more 'desirable' to Lazy Susan, which I'll get into later, but she's not working and she also in the house part of the shack. We also see Soos and Wendy watching television with Stan, Mabel, and Dipper during the Summerween episode. They aren't on shift! They're just chilling. Wendy hits Stan in the face with a water balloon while working as a lifeguard. She's comfortable teasing him.
Soos tags along with Stan, Dipper, and Mabel when they break into the golf course after hours. He brings his shirts to cut Ws into. He doesn't have to be there, he just is. Wendy goes hunting with Mabel and her friends for unicorns. Mabel wins a pig at the fair and Stan lets her keep it, the pig needs food, who do you think is footing that bill?
Now let's talk about friends. Mabel often has Candy and Grenda over, we know she has loud sleepover with them. Do you think Mabel would bring her friends over if she wasn't comfortable in the house? Do you think Candy and Grenda would keep coming over if they didn't feel safe? Not to mention, they literally ambush Stan in the bathroom and give him a make over. Which he allows, we see him fight off the undead, punch bald eagles, and catch the twins when they fell from the nose of that monument. The man is strong, he could get three preteen girls off him if he wanted to, he was 100% playing along.
Candy and Grenda also invite themselves along on their road trip. And Stan lets them come!! Mr cheap stake agrees to feed and care for two extra kids who aren't his family.
Dipper sneaks around trying to see his tattoo, he feels safe enough with Stan to push those boundaries. He literally pulled the Memory Gun on Ford during the basement scene, if he wasn't comfortable with Stan, he wouldn't try to get that close to him. He calls Stan when he and Mabel are trapped in a haunted convenience store (he doesn't answer but still, he called him).
Now let's talk about Gideon, because I will stand by the Stan had some fondness for the kid. We know Stan has been annoyed with Gideon for a while, we know Gideon has been gunning for Stan for a while. And Stan just... Keeps letting this happen. He never involves the police, he plays along with Gideons attempts, even when Gideon is laughing uncontrollably, Stan just assured him that "you'll get me one day kid". Even when Gideon climbs in THROUGH THE WINDOW all Stan does is aggressively sweep at his feet. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Stan never gets rough with Gideon.
I'm just, I'm weeping over the knowledge that Stan Pines, who wasn't safe in his own home, made his home a safe place for kids as an adult.
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ckret2 · 7 months ago
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Chapter 78 of human Bill Cipher pretending he's not the Mystery Shack's captive for ten minutes:
This happens!
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Whoops, sorry, zoomed too far in.
This happens!
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Way more important and exciting.
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Bill lasted—based on the sun's position—about a couple of hours before this body's needs knocked him out of his meditative mindset. He sat up with a sigh, checked his tanlines—the stripes he'd drawn across his abdomen were already darkening into a nice, angry burn—and glanced over at the lake to see what the Pines were up to.
At the moment, Mabel was holding a foot-long wiggling, glittery, gold-scaled trout in a net and grinning proudly. Stan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pointed at her in excitement as Dipper snapped a picture of them. Stan opened a cooler for her to drop the fish in. Mabel's face fell, and she hugged the fish protectively. Stan's shoulders sagged; but after half a minute of unsuccessful negotiations, he relented and pointed at the lake. She dumped the trout back in the water.
Bill clicked his tongue in disappointment and muttered, "If I'd thought they'd catch the golden trout, I would've told 'em that thing's like the holy grail to the Fishmasons." Stan probably would have insisted they keep it just so they could get something on Eugene. Bill wasn't emotionally invested in their feud; but the trout did grant three wishes. Bill could use that kind of power.
Oh well, he could tell them later. Maybe they'd get lucky and hook it again. Bill got to his feet. "Hey, old lady. I need to stretch my legs." Stretch his legs, look for entertainment, and forage for food—they were planning to be out here all day, but there hadn't yet been a grocery trip to properly stock his new fridge chest and he didn't trust Ford's nutrition pills, so he'd only brought along a bottle of hot sauce and a bottle of sprinkles and hoped he'd manage to find some food once he was here. (And if he didn't find any—well, at least he had hot sauce and sprinkles.)
"Okay," Abuelita said. She turned a page.
He put his slippers back on, dug his condiments and eye patch out of Abuelita's bag—his eyes were getting tired—put on the patch, and scanned the beach. "Hey. Looks like somebody's grilling hot dogs over there."
Abuelita made a noncommital sound of minimal interest.
"Hot dog might be nice," he said. "Looks like the grill's a biiit over thirty feet away, though..."
"Okay," Abuelita said again.
"So." He waved his braceleted hand demonstratively. "Shall we?"
"Eh. I don't want a hot dog." She slid the enchanted bracelet off and dropped it in the sand.
Bill stared at the bracelet, then stared at her. "What, that—really? You're just... really?"
"What am I, a cop?"
Good enough for him. "You're all right, lady." He wrapped the extra thread around his wrist, put on the second bracelet, and glanced at the Stanowar again to make sure the Pines weren't about to catch him off his leash.
The family was crowded around watching as Ford reeled in something heavy. He grinned excitedly as the hook dragged up a patch of soggy khaki fabric; and his smile vanished when his coat grabbed the boat with a furry hand. As the family scrambled to the far end of the boat, Bigfoot—wearing Ford's lost coat and a full set of scuba gear—climbed aboard the boat.
Ford punched Bigfoot in the face.
"Oh," Bill said. "Bigflipper. That'll keep 'em distracted for a while." Satisfied, he meandered up the beach.
He plastered on a bright smile as he approached the family with the hot dogs, veered around the husband working the grill, and walked right up to the wife sitting on a beach towel, eating a hot dog, and watching her kids play in the water. "Heeey, Wanda! What are you doing here! Look at you, you look terrific!"
The woman looked up at Bill from under her sunhat in bafflement. "I—hi? Sorry, do I...?"
"Sure, it's Goldie! Washington State! Fifteen years ago! We were in the same study group, remember? East Asian history? Honestly all I remember about the class is the other girls and that fifty percent of it was about Confucianism."
Wanda's eyes lit up, and then un-lit as she realized she still didn't recognize Bill. "Oh—heeey! Wow—sorry, guess I've slept since then."
"Don't worry about it, I'm just good with faces. Anyway, from what I remember," he jabbed a thumb toward the man at the grill, "at the time most of your attention was on Danny."
Wanda laughed again, a little more easily. "Right, god. I can't believe I made it through that semester with passing grades."
"Hey, you were still the only one in the group who could remember what order all those dynasties came in..."
Bill kept Wanda distracted for another couple of minutes with small talk about the study sessions he'd spied on out of boredom from a library stained glass window; and then, when he saw one hot dog had been set aside fully grilled and mustarded but as-yet unclaimed, he said, "But hey, I won't distract you anymore! Those kids look like a handful." While both parents turned to look at the kids, Bill snatched up the unclaimed hot dog, strolled down the beach, and called back, "It was good catching up!" That whole performance probably hadn't been necessary, he might've been able to time his loitering to swing by just as the hot dog was left unguarded; but it had been more fun this way. He didn't get to have a lot of conversations these days. Less where he felt like he was the one in control of the conversation.
He soaked the bun in hot sauce, dumped some sprinkles on the mustard, and took a bite while he glanced out at the lake again to see how the Pines were doing.
At the moment, Ford had Bigfoot in a chokehold from behind. Stan hit him with a right hook. Bigfoot kicked Stan in the chest with one immense flippered foot, and he tumbled backward into the lake.
Looked like none of them would be paying attention to anything on the beach any time soon. No need to go straight back to his cell. He scanned the rows of beachgoers sitting out by the lake, looking for fresh entertainment.
Bill's gaze fixed on one of the humans. One of these things is not like the others, one of these things doesn't belong. Amongst all the tourists in their swimsuits, one man—standing ramrod straight, dressed in a black suit, holding a heavy black device with an antenna—stuck out like a sore pale thumb in a pitch black bandaid.
An agent from the Bureau of Covert Investigations. The "eagles." The same guys that had covered up President Quentin Trembley's existence, a brief sightseeing trip Bill had taken to Roswell via nuclear testing-induced dimensional rip, and the miraculous and disgusting resurrection of cult leader/possession puppet Silas Birchtree; and, the guys that had been trying to find Bill's portal in Gravity Falls since they'd detected it in the '80s. Bill wasn't the eagles' biggest fan.
But they'd never been a big enough potential threat or a big enough potential help for him to intervene in their operations. In the mid '80s, when the lead investigator in Gravity Falls had been putting together his case, Bill had considered pulling some strings and manipulating them into taking over the portal from Stanley, before concluding they'd be more likely to disassemble the portal than activate it and it was better off in Stan's clumsy care. But all the same, he'd kept watch over their operations. 
And this, if he wasn't mistaken, was the lead investigator himself. Agent Powers. What was he doing here? Bill had thought the case was closed last year after Ford wiped their memories and sent them packing. Maybe Powers was here about Trembley? Depending on what the Pines had entered into the memory gun, the eagles might still remember that part of their operations in town.
Bill would kinda like to know where Trembley was these days. He studied the agent as he slowly finished his hot dog; and then he moved in.
"Hey there, agent!" Bill clapped a hand on his shoulder, making him start, and beamed brightly. "Welcome to town! What brings you to Gravity Falls?"
"Pardon?" Agent Powers gave Bill an appraising up-and-down look—threat assessment, probably—caught sight of his bikini top, and quickly looked him in the eye. "How did you know I'm an agent?"
"Oh, that's easy! I'm psychic."
Powers opened his mouth, paused, and then squinted skeptically at Bill.
"Just kidding. You've got an earpiece, a business suit at the beach, and the government's favorite car."
"Oh." Powers turned to glance toward where he'd parked. "Yes. I suppose so."
"Say! If you want a more covert vehicle, you oughta go to Gleeful Auto in town. You'll blend right in. Just tell 'em Mr. Locke sent you."
"Who's Mr. Locke?"
Right, Bill supposed he didn't look like much of a "Mr." at the moment. Humans didn't consider bikinis gender neutral for some reason. He took a split second to decide whether he'd get any practical benefits from trying to push past the agent's initial perception of his gender, and couldn't think of any. "Friend of mine!"
"Ah." Powers nervously looked Bill up and down again; then cleared his throat and glanced away, cheeks flushed faintly pink in the heat. "Right. Thank you, uh, citizen."
"No problem!" If Bill remembered his suits right, this agent was an easy target. Believed in "collaborating" with "local informants"; wasn't very good at the covert part of the Bureau of Covert Investigations. "You don't look like you're in town on vacation! Investigating anything interesting at the lake?"
"Well..." Powers flashed Bill a quick sideways glance before nodding vaguely toward a couple of people in dive suits further up the beach. "If you must know, we've picked up some evidence of the lake recently flooding its banks. Which is strange, because the amount of rain this area's received can't account for how high the water climbed..."
Not here about Trembley, then? "Flooding? Think there's any danger, agent? In our quiet, harmless little town?"
"No, no. Nothing like that," Powers said quickly. "But, I've said too much. I should go." He shifted his footing anxiously. He did not go.
What was that about? Bill glanced down at himself; he still looked perfectly human, didn't see anything that should make a government agent nervous. Was it the lack of shaving? Was that too Seventies Feminist for Mr. Government Suit? Was the eyepatch setting off his secret agent "Soviet supervillain in a spy movie" instincts? He couldn't have noticed Bill stealing a hot dog.
Should Bill press his luck? (Stupid question—of course he should.) "Say, you keep giving me these odd looks, agent! Anything you wanna say?"
His pink cheeks flushed darker. "Er, no, no ma'am. It's just, I uh..." He gestured vaguely toward Bill, "I... couldn't help but notice that your... sunscreen is a bit streaky."
Bill glanced down at his tan lines. Streaky? He thought the burn lines were coming out pretty crisp.
The agent went on, "I was wondering if you needed help applying it more evenly." It took a split second for him to realize what he'd just said; and then he went even redder.
Bill raised his brows. Huh. "Nooo, I'm great, thanks. It's supposed to look like that."
"Oh." Powers's brow furrowed in confusion. "All right." He nodded. "In that case, I really should be going, then."
"All right!"
But Powers hesitated again for a moment before finally moving up the beach away from Bill.
Well. Interesting. Interesting reaction.
He checked on the Stanowar again to make sure the Pines hadn't seen anything. At the moment—he squinted—they seemed to be playing poker with Bigfoot. He must not have liked Mabel's playing (unsurprising; she was an incorrigible cheat), because he picked her up and chucked her in the lake.
"She's fine," Bill muttered. "She's got her life jacket." They were good about that in this town.
He watched as Powers met up with the divers farther along the beach; and then he headed back to his towel.
####
Bill had decided his front was sufficiently roasted and was struggling to apply new sunscreen stripes to his back so he could flip over, when he overheard somebody say, "Oh hey, Toga Lady?"
Bill twisted around, already grinning in greeting before he'd even seen who was talking to him. "Heya!" It was Broken Heart and two of the others. Wendy's gang. Robbie, Tambry, and Nate. "What are you guys doing out here! You don't look like the beach types!" (In deference to the environment, all three of them had donned swim trunks and sandals; but that was as beachy as they'd gotten. Nate and Tambry were in black t-shirts advertising metal bands. Robbie was still in his hoodie. Robbie's legs nearly glowed white.)
"Hanging," Tambry said, one arm around Robbie's back and face glued to her phone.
Nate elbowed Robbie. "Dude, he's Toga Guy, remember?"
"Toga 'Lad' would be better," Tambry said.
"You sure?" Robbie asked. "Sh—he's kinda..." He gestured vaguely toward his own chest, realized that probably wasn't the best way to make his point, and finished, "uh... bikini."
"I don't want to spend my day arguing about whether I've got the right to go topless!" Bill got to his feet and planted his hands on his hips. "I could talk my way out of trouble with the police—it's the tourist parents I'm worried about." He pulled up one strap to examine his shoulder. "It's gonna ruin my tan, though."
They took in his tan in progress: several horizontal lines across his lower torso and upper thighs, a few disconnects vertical lines stretched between the horizontal ones. Tambry glanced up from her phone, snorted, and started typing faster; Nate said, "Dude, are you trying to make bricks like the triangle guy?"
Bill froze, mouth open. "Uhhh..." Sure, that was the objective—he just hadn't really expected humans to find it that obvious. Nosy little pattern-seekers. "I mean—"
"That's cool," Tambry said. "Stick it to the man."
Robbie had screwed up his face a bit, but at Tambry's reaction, he shrug-nodded and conceded, "Yeah, it's kinda punk, I guess."
Nate said, "Praise Bill or whatever, right?" He laughed. "Yeah, I thought about getting a tattoo of him. Up here or something?" He pushed a sleeve up above the snake tattoo wrapped around his left bicep to show the blank spot on his shoulder. "But my parents would flip if they ever found out. Maybe I should do the brick thing too, it's way subtler." Nate turned to the other two, lifted up his shirt, and said, "Hey Tambers, do you think I'd look cool with bricks around my waist?"
She didn't look up. "No."
"What if I got an eye on my chest too?"
"Let me think. No."
Bill watched this back and forth with wide-eyed stunned silence. Hold on. What? Praise Bill?
"Pfff, whatever!" Robbie rolled his eyes. "Hey, you're gonna regret getting a Bill tattoo once I get my sick symbol off the anti-Bill circle. It's like... giving me a permanent rock-paper-scissors win against you. For the rest of time."
Nate laughed. "Shut up, whatever man! The circle didn't even do anything."
"It would have! It was, like, glowing!"
"Heeey!" Bill stepped into the trio's line of sight again. "Right, yeah, praise Bill, by the way any of you wanna help me get my back?" He turned around to gesture over his shoulder. "Little favor between punk weirdos?"
"Yeah, sure." Tambry tucked her phone into Robbie's hoodie pocket and held out her hand for the tube of sunscreen. "Just continue the lines around your back?"
"You got it." Bill lifted his arms. "And try to keep the bricks evenly spaced."
"What is this stuff? Some kind of suntan lotion?"
"It's more like anti-sunscreen," Bill said. "By the way, you probably wanna wash your hands after this unless you want sunburned fingers." He wiggled his own fingers, which were faintly flushed from applying the first layer of sunscreen that morning.
"Hey, anti-sunscreen," Nate said, "you could call that, uh... sun-beam." He paused. "No wait, that's already a word."
Robbie laughed. "You're an idiot."
"Sooo," Bill said. "Is the triangle guy cool now? Not—not asking for any particular reason. Just curious."
"Oh, yeah," Tambry said. "Like half the school's decided he's our crazy anti-authoritarian counterculture chaos god now?" (Bill was adding that to his business card.)
Robbie said, "Somebody set up a shrine to him in a hollow tree stump behind the school. People started making animal sacrifices to him during finals week."
Nate said, "It's chicken nuggets and cafeteria tacos, but. Y'know. We didn't say live animals."
"Huh! Interesting!" Bill tried, unsuccessfully, not to sound too excited. He was hip with the youth. Who'd imagined! This was what he got for hanging out with the town's cops and politicans, he could've been exploiting this for a month. "But I think he prefers receiving gold!"
Nate laughed. "Dude, I'd prefer receiving gold, too. What we have is chicken nuggets and tacos."
"Fair enough," Bill shrugged. "By the way—if you want a Bill tattoo? The traditional style is to shave your hair and get his eye above your forehead, right here!" He tapped his skull over his brain's frontal eye fields. "It tells him right where to enter."
"Oh, sweet! That's perfect," Nate said. "I can shave, get a tattoo, and just keep my hat on until my hair grows back. No one will ever know!" (Bill tried to imagine hair growing out of his eyeball, and wished he hadn't.)
Robbie said, "Hey, weren't the Pines like... not letting you go outside because you knew him or something? That's what Wendy said."
That wasn't the story he'd told her. He'd have to find out where she'd picked that up. "Or something. It was more because of dumb academic ego-measuring contests than anything to do with that."
"So, they finally letting you outside alone now?"
"Only for group trips." Bill pointed out at the lake.
The three teens squinted toward the boat. "Whoa," Tambry said. "Are they arm-wrestling Bigfoot?"
"Oh, yeah. It was poker earlier."
For a moment, all activity ceased as the teens watched the battle out on the lake. Nate sat in the sand and propped his chin in his hand. Figuring Tambry was done with his stripes, Bill plopped onto his beach towel to watch as well.
Bigfoot defeated Stan, and Soos switched places with him to try next. Soos lasted five seconds before Bigfoot flipped him into the water. Melody scrambled to help pull him back aboard as Bigfoot pumped his fists in the air victoriously. Bill snorted.
"Bad luck," Robbie said. 
"I could beat him," Nate said. "Hey Robbie, think I could beat him?"
"Pfff, no."
"Bet Wendy could," Tambry said, recording through her phone as Bigfoot generously indulged Dipper and Mabel's attempt to take him on as a team. The guys murmured vague agreement with Tambry.
"Buuut anyway," Bill said, reluctant to let the conversation get too far away from himself, "yeah, I might've talked to the triangle guy a couple, several times."
"That's pretty cool," Nate said. "Hey, we oughta hang sometime, I bet Lee'd wanna hear about that. It'd probably drive Wendy crazy, but..."
Tambry let out a dismissive pff. "The triangle stuff's been driving Wendy crazy all year. She can take it."
"Not a fan?" Bill asked.
"Nah, she thinks the whole thing's creepy. Her and Thompson both."
"I think the whole cult thing's fine," Robbie said magnanimously. "As, y'know, one of the people prophesied to defeat him. If he ever really came back and caused trouble, we could handle it."
Bill tried not to roll his eye. Bold words out of a guy who, a couple of years ago, had left a plate of spaghetti in the woods to see if an "evil triangle" urban legend was true, and had thrown up when Bill dragged him into a dream state to show him just how true it was.
On Earth, urban legends about Bill tended to pop up and wither away in waves around the epicenter of his latest area of influence—like mushroom rings spreading away from a patch of ground they'd depleted of useful nutrients and left to die. Bill suspected the local urban legend Robbie had stumbled upon had been passed down in Gravity Falls for thirty years by teens misinterpreting Old Man McGucket's crazy ramblings about a "demon triangle" and "spaghettification."
He was always torn on whether to encourage or quash such urban legends: on the one hand, it was handy for humans to know he existed and was available for deals; but much less handy when they warned each other away from him. More than once, knowledge of him had nearly broken into the mainstream, and he'd had to put all his other plans on hold to focus on deflecting the whistleblowers' information into obscurity.
Apparently encouraging the spaghetti one had been the right move, if a year after his brief conquest of Gravity Falls the teens were offering him sacrifices rather than cursing his name.
Nate punched Robbie's arm. "Why would he cause us trouble? He's our chaos god, remember? We've given him offerings!"
"I like that attitude," Bill said. "Hanging out sounds fun! We'll... figure something out sometime." As soon as he found a way to make the Pines let him go outside without being surrounded by babysitters. Wouldn't that be humiliating, a full adult hanging out with teenagers and it's the adult who isn't allowed outside without a chaperone. No, that wasn't an option. If he came with an adult attached, they'd ditch him in a heartbeat for being too much of a drag.
The teens made their farewells and headed down the beach, Tambry and Robbie with their arms around each other again. Tambry wiped the anti-sunscreen off her hand onto the back of Robbie's hoodie.
As they went, they walked past Agent Powers—who was looking right at Bill.
Bill stared. The agent quickly looked away.
He didn't like that one bit. As he adjusted his position to lay face down on his towel, he said, "Hey, Dolores. You get the feeling we're being watched?"
"Hm?" Abuelita glanced up from her book toward Bill, then looked where he was looking. "Government." She made a disapproving noise and turned back to her book. "Nothing but trouble."
"You said it." Why was Powers so focused on Bill. He couldn't possibly be in any kind of trouble, he hadn't even existed until a month ago. And the eagles probably didn't know that, did they?
Nothing Bill could do about it in the middle of a beach trip. He propped his chin in his hand and checked on the fishing crew again.
In a fury, Bigfoot had ripped the motor off the back of the boat and lifted it over his head. The Pines family huddled together at the other end of the boat, trying to shield their heads.
A golden trout jumped out of the water, arced majestically through the air, and smacked Bigfoot in the face. Bigfoot stumbled backward and tripped out of the boat.
Hm. Maybe letting the trout go had been the right move. Bill shut his eyes and lay back down.
####
The sun was low and most of the beachgoers had gone home when the Stanowar chugged back to shore, battle-weary, disheveled, and dissatisfied. Except for Ford, who was wearing his sopping wet coat over his waders, holding one boot, and pleased as punch.
"Hey!" Bill shouted. "How'd it go!" He surreptitiously tossed half the bracelet over to Abuelita. She quietly slid it on.
Crankily, Stan yelled from the dock, "You didn't mention Bigfoot in a scuba tank!"
Bill shouted back, "Bigflipper wasn't there when I looked! What, did you expect me to check the entire spacetime continuum to find you the perfect fishing?!"
Faintly, he could hear Ford say, "See, I told you his proper name is Bigflipper."
Mabel repeatedly poked Dipper in the arm as they crossed the beach. Dipper flinched each time. "Ow, ow—Mabel. Cut it out."
"That's what you get for forgetting your sunscreen, bro-bro!"
Dipper's arms and face were bright red with a sunburn. "I didn't forget! I put it on at the beach, right before we left!"
Bill grabbed up Abuelita's empty water bottles and tossed them in the nearest trash can, along with the rest of his tube of anti-sunscreen before anyone could get a good look at it. He ignored the kids and said to Stan, "But it was a good fishing spot, right?"
Stan grumbled, but grudgingly admitted, "Yeah. Until tall, brown, and hairy showed up. We caught four fish! That's gotta be at least as good as the guys from the lodge, right?"
Bill winced. "Ooh. Sorry, they went by an hour ago with eleven fish."
Stan let out a roar of outrage and threw his fishing rod in the sand.
"Grunkle Stan, you don't go fishing to catch fish," Mabel said. "You go fishing to catch memories! Look at this!" She held up a bunch of photos. "This is a whole scrapbook spread right here! We caught sooo many memories."
"And my coat," Ford said. He was admiring his #1 Grunkle pen, which he'd taken from the coat pocket.
"I'd rather have fish," Stan grumbled. "All right, c'mon. Let's get..." He trailed off, looking past Bill. "Hey, is that...?"
Bill glanced back over his shoulder, and grimaced. Agent Powers and his protégé were watching them from the far end of the beach. Bill quickly turned back around. "Yep. Your old friends from last summer," he said. "They've been scoping out the beach all day. I don't know what they're here for—but you probably wanna get out of here." More importantly, Bill wanted to get out of here—but he didn't see any benefit to letting them know he was nervous.
"He's right," Ford said. "If they see us long enough to recognize us—and his memories start coming back..."
"Who are they?" Melody asked.
Soos whispered loudly, "I'll explain it in the car." Bill bit back the need to point out that whispering didn't make a difference as far away as the agents were.
"I don't get it," Stan said. "What are they doing back here?"
"You wanna go ask him?" Bill asked. Stan grimaced.
The Pines and Ramirez families piled back in their vehicles and headed out. Bill had the uneasy feeling that Agent Powers was focused on the Ramirez's truck as they left.
####
(How long have I been promising the Agent Powers plot, since like the May before last or something? Here it is!!
Next week, either we launch straight into the Powers plot, or I finally have the Axolotl chapters (it's chapters plural now) sufficiently edited and we do that first, because once we start the Powers plot there's no place for a break until it's over. Hopefully the Axolotl chapters will finally be ready by next Friday, but if they're not...... tough. It's fine though, you'll live.)
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Stan and Ford, maybe a year after initially setting off on the Stan o' War II, come into harbor to meet up with the kids. They confess, in the interest of family honesty, that they... haven't been doing so well. They love each other, they get along fine, but both of them have emotions, memories, and reactions they can't control. Worst of all, neither of them have any idea how to fix it.
Mabel, who is a proud attendee of therapy (but also understands it would take an act of the Axolotl to get her Grunkles to a therapist), suggests an exercise: writing out their feelings. In other words, journaling. It's a bit ironic, but she thinks they should give it a try. Never ones to say no to their grand-niece, Stan and Ford agree to give it a shot.
Ford finds himself falling into familiar rhythms, and not in a bad way: in between passages on mystical sea creatures and oceanic weather phenomenons, he sketches out faltering descriptions of his feelings. When he has his recurring nightmare of still being trapped within the Fearamid, stuck eternally as Bill's puppet, he draws the scene upon waking and rips up the paper as a sort of emotional release. He does those zentangle doodles too, when Stan is driving the boat and Ford just needs a quiet moment on the bow deck.
Stan... he struggles a little more. He's never been much a writer, and he's certainly never been good at being vulnerable. He can't imagine journaling like his brother--- it just seems too cheesy and too emotional. Instead--- he writes a pretend self-help book. It's stupid excuse to get his feelings out on paper, but it works. Using his many, many terrible life experiences, he pretends to be reaching out to a kid like him--- alone, helpless, planless--- and tells them all sorts of advice he wishes he had. To pretend there's a young Stan he's trying to save by processing his own nightmares and thoughts--- it gives him a sort of bittersweet hope. Stan always thought "self-help" books were a delicious sort of scam (God knows none of them actually helped him), but when Ford accidentally reads it (they really shouldn't have gotten matching notebooks), he's both incredibly impressed by Stan's writing ability, and emotionally wrecked.
It takes a while, but Ford convinces Stan to actually publish the thing. Stan uses a pseudonym (he is, technically, still dead), and changes some of the details (some of those crime lords are still alive, somehow), but he does publish it. As far as self-help books go, it's coarse, crude, and at points a bit gross in its storytelling--- it's also raw, vulnerable, and filled, in places, with some really good advice. When Stan sees some of the reviews explaining how the book helped readers--- maybe even saved them--- he chokes up. For the first time, he's really, actually successful. And now that he is, he doesn't even care about the money--- he's just glad to know there's a kid out there like him that might be able to have a better life, make better choices. If he couldn't find happiness until his 60s, at least someone else will have a chance.
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gay-dorito-dust · 7 months ago
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Can you write about the reader being either Ford or stans controversially young spouse? Like they're close to their 20s instead of their 60s
Ooh to be their controversially younger spouse what a dream I wish I could live lmao 🤣
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Before you became Ford’s spouse, the man would always use the age gap between you two as the sole reason as to why you shouldn’t be together romantically, he’s sweating bullets and loosing sleep over it because it’s just so glaringly obvious to him that you shouldn’t.
However this was all just a cover up for the fact that he did indeed feel things for you in a romantic sense. You were great with Dipper and Mabel, encouraging their passions and even getting involved in them should they need someone to be dazzle in gems or go out into the woods to look for the supernatural.
You even got along with Stan, which was only an added bonus for Ford but still he kept reminding himself that he was far, far too old for you that he might as well have been old enough to be your father/ grandfather! Wasn’t that enough to disturb you?
He knew some people held a liking towards older people but believed it was more for their wisdom and life experience, not the romantic kind.
Apparently it wasn’t because Ford accidentally over heard a conversation between you and Wendy regarding his age;
Wendy: isn’t he too old for you?
You: negative, I love older men. Especially older men who are smart, a little socially awkward and plays dungeons, dungeons and more dungeons.
Wendy: …respect dude.
Needles to say after hearing that Ford’s face became as red as cherries and his worries regarding how you felt towards the age difference seemed to have dwindled slightly, but still he worried that others would view you as weird for being with a man more then twice your own age.
Sure there wasn’t many…worthy candidates to date in Gravity falls but surely he couldn’t be the only one worth your gaze? Mabel must’ve at least tried to set you up on more then one occasion, but according to her you just never seemed to jell with the people she set you up with, saying that you had a distant look in your eyes as though you could be anyone else then at the date.
When Mabel confronted you about it one day, you told her that you liked men a little older then you, Mabel then asked why but you only ruffled her hair and told her that she might see the vision one day. Ford was now being presented with more proof that you would be more then content with dating him, it was undeniable and he even indirectly heard it from your own mouth, so what else could he possibly be held back by?
Fear and rejection from society if they ever were to see you both in a romantic setting?
Then again you both lived in gravity Falls and there were things far weirder than an 20 year old dating a 60 -pushing 70- year old man. And thus began Ford’s new hypothesis; how to win over a 20 year old’s heart.
After you stated dating, you beating the other ladies and men off with a stick because that sexy silver fox was yours! FINALLY! It was your turn to have a sexy older man in your bed!
Other then that you loved being with Ford as no two days were the same, you could be going out with him to look for supernatural as a date, thankfully surviving when Ford got a little distracted by spouting facts on what was trying to kill you both and ending up sat on the porch of the mystery shack and laughing together afterwards.
Or be in his lab and watching him work while admiring how handsome he looked with greying hair and an aging face, but Ford would see it otherwise and become a little insecure and reserved.
‘Don’t you think it weird?’ He’d ask you one day.
‘About us?’ You didn’t have to hear him respond when you knew that Ford was still a little uncertain with your age difference still after seemingly accepting it. You sigh and walked over to him and sat on his lap, making him blush and his eyes widen as you hold his face between your hands.
‘Ford, sweetie I don’t care about what they think, I’m just glad that I got to be with you after pinning for so long. I understand this is new for you but all I ask is that you trust me,’ you kissed his nose softly, ‘and trust in our relationship, there’s nothing weird about it unless you make it weird.’ You add with a smile as Ford rested his head against you, his hands now resting comfortably on your waist.
‘You’re right my sweet,’ Ford said, ‘I’m just worried that you might find someone close to your age more appealing then some old man.’ You couldn’t help but chuckle as you leant further into him.
‘Who could I ever find more appealing than you mr sixer?’ You asked rhetorically, ‘you’re more than perfect the way you are and I’m the lucky bastard who gets to call you mine, so everyone else can stay jealous for all I care knowing I have the most perfect man ever.’ You add as you kissed his lips this time and smiling when Ford reciprocated it with his sweeter, soft kiss.
You probably have moments where you recall something Ford wouldn’t understand and Ford would reference something that was older than you, it’s funny regardless of how you looked at it.
Ford’s body still has aches and pains despite keeping himself healthier than Stanley and so you would help him during these times and coddle him lovingly, while reminding him that he needed to take it easy on himself once in a while.
Ford apologises for it but you only shut him up and remind him that he has nothing to apologise for.
You didn’t treat each other differently because of your ages, if anything you made Ford feel young again and Ford gifted you advice and made you feel just that little bit smarter, which boosted your confidence in yourself. It was a beautiful relationship that was pure and sweet it could give anyone cavities.
Stanley didn’t give a shit you were dating his brother, he knew you liked men above a certain age when you kept eye fucking Ford whenever he walked past you, or how Ford would look at you longingly when you weren’t looking . He saw this shit coming from a mile away as it wasn’t exactly subtle on either end and may have made a bet with Wendy about how soon you’d come to him to announce you were dating his brother.
Stanley won the bet much to Wendy’s dismay.
You saw Ford shirtless once and went apeshit much to his surprise because weren’t people your age into six packs and hairless upper bodies?
Nope, not you, you loved his tummy and body hair that you clung to his side and spent the afternoon kissing his scars and embarrassing tattoos he kept covered in turtlenecks while whispering reassurance that reminded him that you were attraction to him was more then surface level. Ford would return the favour when you had episodes of insecurity would remains you of such by comparing your every insecurity to something beautiful.
Acne? Constellations/ clusters of stars
Stretch marks? Lighting strikes
You’ve got a tummy and thick thighs? Didn’t you know that they(thick thighs) saved lives?!
Needless to say that you came out with a newfound love for yourself afterwards.
You constantly held his hand and kissed each finger to show that you didn’t care about anything but him and his wellbeing, it warmed Ford’s heart as he found to love himself a little more with your help, and in doing so he was able to show you love by kissing your cheek in greeting or making you breakfast in bed or draping his coat over your shoulders when he saw that you were cold.
It was sweet and innocent but still it was enough to have you smiling and feel loved, which is all Ford ever wanted you to feel while with him.
Ford’s love was chivalrous, stubborn and awkward, but you wouldn’t want it any other way as you wanted Ford just the way he was and thrived when you saw his eyes gleam with excitement as he makes a discovery, leading him to grasp your face and kiss you on the lips while holding you close to his chest as he explained what he had done; all the while you stared at him with awe and love because he was really attractive when he was talking about things he was passionate about.
Ford would then catch himself and apologise for rambling but you would kiss him on the cheek and ask him to continue, to which Ford happily obliged, now aware that you were staring at him as though he had hung the stars in the sky.
Ford would find himself looking at you in a similar fashion when you were going on about what you and Mabel did in town, and Ford couldn’t help but hone in on your smile, shining eyes and hand gestures that told him that you enjoyed the hijinks that had happened while wearing the sweater that Mabel made you the entire time.
You’d catch him staring intently at you and suddenly you’re flustered and playing with the sleeves of your bright and vibrant sweater. ‘It’s kinda corny isn’t it?’ You’d ask as Ford chuckles, reaching out to hold your hand reassuringly in his.
‘No, not at all my sweet, I in fact find your adventures with my niece and nephew endearing and sweet. So please continue to tell me how you drop kicked a gnome into Mabel’s leaf blower.’ Ford said and within seconds you were back to being bright and talkative about your adventures of fighting off gnomes, barf fairies and pulling Mabel away from fae traps.
You both were each others listeners and would remember anything and everything said because you actually liked to hear where the other got up to when apart from one another.
Bonus; you definitely have a spot in his journal where he goes in depth of your relationship before ending it with: ‘they’re someone I don’t think I could envision a future without, for they make me young again while loving me regardless of our differences in age and much more. Thank you for loving me y/n, even when I don’t think it’s deserved.’
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sharksfrommars · 1 month ago
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Stan and Dipper bond by arguing. Every day at the shack, Stan and dipper are arguing about something. Really, it’s cause they both enjoy the fight, and they fully know the other can take their jabs. Dipper enjoys it because it proves that Stan isn’t going to treat him like some kid, and that Stan actually challenges his ideas and opens new perspectives. Stan enjoys it because if dipper’s willing to argue back at him, it’s because A) he feels safe enough to do so, meaning he fundamentally trusts Stan, and B) Dipper isn’t going to end up as some pushover and will be the kind of man he ought to be which makes him proud
The arguments are generally petty, and spurred on by Stan talking nonsense in purpose. They will generally last about half an hour to an hour, but it’s been known to last longer when the two get especially impassioned. But somehow, by the end of the day, they’ll happily sit together and watch trash TV whist talking about their days.
Ford doesn’t get it at all. He doesn’t understand quite how Stan and Dipper can constantly be arguing but still love each other so much and get along so well. It kind of drives him mad. He’s tried device he’s got to try and figure it out, everything except asking the two. Mabel told him once that it’s because they’re sweaty constantly.
One summer, dipper and Ford get into a nasty fight. It lasts a full week, and Ford is besides himself on what to do. He didn’t realise that Dipper could be so STUBBORN. It bums him out. So he talks to Stan, who for once gives good advice. Thanks to which, dipper and Ford are back to being best science buds. Ford can’t help but feel proud of how well Stanley knows his nephew.
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jubileebloom · 1 month ago
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As much as I appreciate the people defending Ford in the wake of TBOB's release, and discussing the importance of avoiding victim-blaming and being aware of a person's environment, there's something specific that rubs me the wrong way about some of the things I've read.
The thing about abuse is that takes agency away from its victims. This is actually something that broadly applies to different forms of trauma, as I've just been going over in one of my classes on Adolescent Development. My professor for that class specializes in trauma-informing and training, so she has an entire unit on trauma as part of the syllabus, and one of the things she emphasized was that giving people agency and control over their own choices is critical to helping them recover from a traumatic event.
When it comes to Bill's possession of Ford, the lack of control is even more literal. Ford literally has his body puppeted by a demon, and his mind altered as well. Others have taken agency from him to a lesser extent—Stan limiting his choices in education, Fiddleford potentially using the memory gun on him, as another analysis post I can't find did a really good job of breaking down—but it's not as all-encompassing as Bill's abuse, and Stan and Fidds both make better choices later in the series. Bill refuses to.
But I'm getting off topic. My point is, Ford's loss of agency is one of the most crucial pieces of his character arc. It's why he lashes out so strongly when he returns home, against his will, to find that his identity has been stolen. It probably factors into his need to be the "hero", to be the one to defeat Bill. And even though he ultimately isn't that "hero", and he does let the Mystery Shack continue to operate, he does ultimately get more of a choice in the matter. He chooses to go along with the plan. He chooses to go with Stan on their long-overdue adventure.
But there's something else he does too. He apologizes.
Why is that so important? Because in regaining his sense of agency, he also undertakes the accountability that goes with it. He isn't solely to blame for everything that happened to him, or even necessarily every choice he made, but he did make bad choices.
And that's the thing that bothers me about some Ford analyses and defenses. Some people go too far and say that Ford isn't to blame for anything that he's done. Not only is that untrue, but it is once again stripping him of his agency. He is an adult capable of making his own decisions, and ergo capable of making bad decisions. And we need to accept that, without infantilizing him or blaming everyone else around him.
One of the things that compels me so much about Gravity Falls is that is generally does strike this balance pretty well, of personal agency vs. external circumstances. (There's also an excellent analysis post out there somewhere about Dipper and Mabel's agency, how the show doesn't force them to fix the problems of their predecessors or burden them exclusively with saving the world, but does still let them have agency and power in the fight and in Stan's recovery.) There are so, so many things that happen to the main cast that are mostly outside of their control, and also bad decisions that a lot of them have made that cannot be excused, at least not fully, by their circumstances.
And the beautiful thing about that agency is that these characters are also able to use it to become better people, to regain control over their lives, to take back power after it was taken from them. But you have to let them, and that includes letting them be people who messed up, owned up, and worked to make it better.
In fact, I think the reason that Ford is so quick to own up to his mistakes when it comes to Bill is because that's one of the ways he's taking back his power. He's incredibly stubborn when it comes to holding other grudges, but with Bill, he readily admits to Stan and Dipper separately that he's made some "terrible mistakes", to use his words. And he isn't to blame for falling for Bill's manipulation—Bill was the one actively manipulating—but no, he should not have summoned him to begin with. That doesn't make him deserving of anything Bill did to him, but by admitting to the mistakes he did make and working on a way to defeat Bill, it's letting him take back some amount of control in the whole situation. He can't make Bill change his ways, but he can own up to and correct the things he did wrong.
He does overcorrect a bit; I do think he blames himself too much for "falling for Bill's flattery." But generally, I like how he also doesn't try to blame Bill for every single thing that went wrong with the whole portal deal, like he (initially) did with some other situations, especially everything with Stan.
Anway. Let Ford make mistakes. Let him be wrong sometimes. Let him have his agency.
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agoldengalaxy · 5 months ago
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a headcanon about every gravity falls character I can think of off the top of my head:
- dipper’s chewing pen habit came from his mother, who tried to get him to stop biting his nails by handing him a pen instead. he doesn’t bite his nails anymore, but he’s uncomfortably used to the taste of ink now
- mabel learned how to knit out of spite. an adult at school told her it was probably too hard for her and she learned it all by herself out of pure rage. she can and will knit nearly 2 sweaters per week now
- stan keeps a journal to document all the things he begins to remember. sometimes he’ll be talking to ford and cut himself off mid-sentence to jump up and rush to grab his journal excitedly. he jokingly calls it journal 4
- when visiting a new city, ford decides to get a tattoo to match stan’s. finally he has a tattoo that he actually likes
- soos is BELOVED as the new mr mystery. sales are even better than when stan ran it, but he keeps that a secret from stan so as to not hurt his feelings
- along with all of the obvious stuff wendy is good at like cutting lumber and climbing trees, she also holds a world record in cup stacking
- melody is trying really hard to beat wendy’s score. they have a friendly competition. soos doesn’t understand why they can’t BOTH hold the world record. he loves them both and can’t root for either and it’s stressing him out
- once the therapism took away his arts and crafts hour, they gave bill a piano. he’s surprisingly good at jazz
- when fiddleford moves into the northwest mansion, he adopts two raccoons and one opossum from the junkyard to bring with him. he is very good at taking care of them and they adore him
- pacifica collects pokémon cards. she’s very secretive and very territorial about them. no one she battles can beat her. her favorite pokémon is drifblim
- when robbie hit puberty his hair actually started getting curly, so he straightens it every day. it is completely and utterly dead from all the heat but he keeps telling himself it’s a later problem
- gideon is coding his own website to blog his journey of becoming a better person. it’s slow-moving and frustrating but he thinks he’s…having fun??
- grenda and candy have been friends since candy moved from korea at age 6. grenda saw she was sitting alone at school and had no problem going to ask her if she liked boys. to this day candy is so grateful that grenda has always been more direct than she is
- abuelita just adores melody. she affectionately calls her mija whenever she visits
- blubs and durland have their honeymoon at disneyland. durland likes the teacups the best. they make blubs sick but he does it for him
- lazy susan’s home is full of home goods decorations like “I like cats more than people” and “autumn leaves and pumpkins please!”
- toby determined finds himself settling well into his role as bodacious t. although shandra jimenez still doesn’t like him back, she’s nicer to him now. she even introduced him to a friend of hers, whom he has taken on several dates
- mayor tyler still likes to gossip and encourage fighting whenever he can, even within his own office. he insists upon a good natured rivalry with the neighboring towns, which results in some destroyed property. his approval rating is through the roof
- blendin blandin finally discovers xanax
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millenianthemums · 3 months ago
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i made a part two to that non-canon “ford finds out about bill” comic back when i first drew it, but i never posted this one. i was planning to do it later and then i forgot, and then i thought it had been so long since the first one that i might as well color this one. and then i spent way too long doing that. so yeah.
i think seeing how much Ford (and Stan) hate Bill would be rough on Mabel in this AU. because of course she loves them very much and she totally understands why they’re upset! but she can’t just let them kill her friend. of course she’s not gonna let anyone she cares about get hurt. it’s just tough when people you love can’t get along with each other. (her parents getting divorced doesn’t help how she feels about all this.)
bonus:
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bill has a lot of problems mabel doesn’t need to know about.
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bomber-grl · 10 months ago
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Hiii Can you please do a hc of what it would be like to be the older sister of the Pines twins from Gravity Falls?? :<
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The twins x Older sister!reader
Pairing(s): Mabel/Dipper Pines x F!reader
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Mabel and Dipper definitely have always been there for each other but they’ve always relied on you too
Whether you’re strict on them, play around or try to take care of them they always look to you
Dipper was definitely the more independent one out of the two
He’d often separate himself from you and admittedly did begin thinking low of you or feeling like he couldn’t talk to you about any of the things going on
Particularly cuz blud began thinking he was smarter than you
Which is honestly such an insult 💀
You gotta show him you’re capable but even without this he’d probably appreciate reassurance you give him and his actions
Plus he trusts you a lot so he’s able to tell you secrets that you promise and do, keep
Onto Mabel
You too probably bond all the time
She loves to give you manicures or do your makeup or even play “ridiculous “ games with you and you of course indulge her
She looks to you for everything and as long as you’re there backing her up she feels able to do whatever shenanigan she’s up to
Not to mention how when waddles was first introduced, you backed her up and she really appreciated it.
Plus how you just sigh and go along with her little romances
She has her moments that can definitely be controversial or iffy
Like how she treats Dipper and handles things
It’s sort of a natural instinct to lecture and help out your younger siblings when they go about something in the wrong way
Now, Mabel’s not the only one
Dipper also has his moments too and you’re there to help him out too
But when it comes to them fighting each other?
Well you could do two things
Either step in and tell them to get along or let them ride it out
Which the second option is chosen more than often enough
They’ll sort it out
Anyway
They can get on your nerves so badly sometimes you just gotta go
Like how Stan has you looking out for them even when you’ve got your own thing going
Even making them go with you
Which whatever but damn can’t you get time for yourself
Honestly you three are pretty close and although they can be a pain in your ass they’re your siblings
So you’re practically stuck together
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dark-lord-of-awesomeness · 12 days ago
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Hey, I was possessed with the need to write this interaction but with no story to tie it to, so now here's this. Takes place post canon.
While sailing with his brother over the last nine months had been everything they'd needed and more, Ford was willing to admit it was good to be back in Gravity Falls. The time with his brother had healed some deep ache inside his chest, but knowing hed soon beseeing his grand niece and nephew, along with all the residents and old friends he'd left behind, was a similar balm.
What wasn't a balm was the monstrosity built behind what had once been his house.
Since Soos had moved into the shack with his girlfriend and grandmother, the Pines were now technically homeless. Soos had been very willing to move back to his old house, but Stan had simply said he'd 'handled' it and not to worry. Ford had been very worried, but he was trying to learn how to trust his brother again, and had simply left him to it.
This proved to be a mistake, as now there was a second, terrible house now built behind the first. It was further in the woods so as to be outside the idle view of visiting tourists, bit still close enough to be considered in its back yard.
Ford stared at it, feeling some kind of emotion as Stan burst through the front door and starting hauling in their luggage. Everything on the ground and second floor was made of a sturdy dark wood, with a green front door and circular windows. If he kept looking at just that, he could almost pretend it was a normal house.
Unfortunately he couldn't, and his gaze moved to the third floor that had been built with what looked like purple wood and colorful stained glass windows depicting several familiar images, had a balcony, a slide, and what could be an observatory, topped with a multicolored rainbow roof. The whole house was built around a giant pine tree, with its large branches casting shade across the entire structure. There was no way to know what the inside looked line without looking, but he was to enraptured with the strange upper floors and the fact that the more he looked, the more he noticed the strangeness carried over to the bottom floors as well.
There were small wards carved around the doorways and windows, one of the second floor windows was suspiciously hinged, as if built to be jumped out of dramatically, and if he leaned to the side he could see what looked like a large porch wrapping around the back with built in seating, a swing, several cannond, and a giant slingshot.
Too many windows were vaguely pig shaped to mistake who helped design the whole thing.
"Stanley," he called, grabbing the suitcase at his feet and dragging it inside, "what is this."
"What's it look like Six!" Stan called out from deeper in the house, "It's our new digs!"
"Let me clarify," Ford followed the sound of his brothers rummaging to find him in what had to be the living room, leaning back in cozy looking couch holding a soda, "why do we have another house, why does it look like this, and where did you get the funds for it, because I know our findings weren't enough to cover a project this large."
"Soos is still taking up space in the shack with his lady friend, so we needed someplace to stay," Stan said, wiggling deeper into the couch, "I asked Mabel to help design it with Dipper. Told her to go wild, because-"
"I GAVE YOUR EVIL CLONE A MILLION DOLLARS!" Fiddleford screamed into Fords ear, cackling as Ford shouted and jumped away, then scuttling over the the couch to climb onto the back and sit hunched over.
"What he said," Stan said with a smirk, sipping his soda as Ford rubbed his ear and scowled.
"Fiddleford, always good to see you. Why are you giving my brother a million dollars."
"Hey, he didn't give it to me, he paid me. I'm doing him an expensive service here."
"Really?" Ford raised an eyebrow, then turned towards Fiddleford with a questioning tilt of his head, "what on earth are you paying Stanley a million dollars for?"
"Hey," Stan said, eyes darting around suspiciously as Fords narrowed, "we don't need to worry about the details, just-"
"He done did tell me he'd stop swerving to hit me with his car if I have him a million greeneronies!" Fiddleford cackled, then leaned in and held up a hand and pointed at Stan behind it, like he was sharing a secret.
"Poor fool don't get that i got one over on 'em!"
"I see." Ford put his hands behind his back as he watched his brother start to sweat and Fiddleford chuckled to himself, "and why is that something you need to pay Stan for?"
"Ain't it obvious?" Fiddleford gave him a pitying look, like he was the strange one here, "Stan here has the car, I need to pay him to get him to stop."
"Sounds like good reasoning to me!" Stan yelled, hunching further into the couch and avoiding eye contact, "I hit man, man pays me not to keep doing that. Let's continue on with out lives."
"No, I think I'm a bit stuck on the fact you've been hitting my friend with your car. On purpose it sounds like."
"Hey!" Stan sat up, outraged, "don't make it sound like I was the only one doing it! Lots of people hit McGucket with their cars! He ran out in the road all the time!"
"Its true Stanford, I wasn't in the best place for a while," Fiddleford sighed, then grabbed his hat and clutched it to his chest, "I'd just wander around all willy-nilly, and good all Stan here was the only one who'd remind me to always be aware of traffic. Never know when a car will smash through a guard rail, destroy some fencing, then try to slam into you as the driver yells 'fifty McGucket points!' Or somethin' out the window."
Ford had never seen his brother rehunch and look away so fast.
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