#MY HEAD HURTS I LITERALLY DIDNT GET ANY SLEEP LAST NIGHT I WISH SHE COULD JUST COME HERE AND TAKE ME AWAY WITH HER AND CUDDLE ME TO SLEEP

[minminnie-shii]

Giving SF9 Cuddles

Hai hai!! I know i’ve been gone for a while

lets just act like that never happened

Buttt, I’m back and recently I’ve been watching the new series of Kingdom and I am so hype to see my babies sf9 

currently sobbing

also my mom was very upset when they came in last place

anyways they’re all working so hard and I’m so proud of them so I decided to write this for all the Fantasy and new Fantasy who are getting into my babies.

so here is sf9 wanting cuddles, enjoy

~Kim Youngbin~

this man

uggghhh

i love him so much i might cry

moving on

being a father of eight children is hard work

but my best baby does everything he can and is the best leader he can be for those boys

butttt

being a little is hard work and he needs to be taken care of as much as they do

insert the love of his life

thats you

youre good at telling when hes stressed and do everything you can to help him

so when he looks at you with doe eyes asking for cuddles you don’t hesitate to say yes

so now your laying on your bed youngbins head on your chest

youre running your hand through his hair softly and humming to him

he lets out a peaceful sigh and lifts hiss head looking up at you

“i love you so much” 

he looks so sleepy and you couldn’t stop yourself from cooing at him

he eventually falls asleep and you just lay there quietly admiring him

he’s the love of your life and you’ll never understand how you got so lucky to have someone like him in your life

#toptiercouple

~Kim Inseong~

this man

DORK ALERT

he will ask for cuddles in the most dramatic way

you’re at the dorm visiting him before he starts filming for his new show

you know that you wont be able to see him for a while and youre a little sad

inseong of course knows this

so he wants to make today extra special

he surprised you with flowers and your favorite snacks 

he even bought you a penguin plushie that was almost the size of you

so now youre sitting on the couch waiting for him to come back so you could start the movie you wanted to watch

inseong was watching you from the kitchen

you were playing with the sleeves of his sweater that you were wearing staring blankly at the screen in front of you

he smiled softly to himself before skipping into the livingroom

“____, dont look so sad, cuddle me instead!”

his loud voice nearly made you jump out of your skin

he plopped onto the couch next to you and wrapped his arms tightly around you

he pulled you into his chest and slowly rocked you back and forth

a smile came to your face as you rested your head on his chest

“it wont be long, i promise ill call you everyday, okay?” 

he assured you that he’ll come see you as soon as filming was over

you knew that he would and you were more than willing to wait for him

because you love him and there was nothing that would ever change your mind

even if he is a major dork that makes you cringe more often than not

~Lee Jaeyoon~

bias wrecker number 1

did you guys see how hard he practiced for the jealous stage on kingdom

i might cry

i hope he got enough time to rest after hurting his knee

you were at your apartment when youngbin called you letting you know that jaeyoon was on his way to the hospital

of course you were worried but he assured you that he was okay he just hurt his knee

sObBiNg

of course you told him that you would meet him there and quickly got dressed

once you finally reached the hospital your boyfriend was staying at you found youngbin who was waiting for your outside

“is he okay? hes not too hurt is he?” 

“he’ll be okay, he just has to rest for a while, i told him you were coming”

as quickly as he could he led you into the room where jaeyoon was lying restlessly

when he heard the door open his head shot over to you and he smiled sadly

you quickly composed yourself and smiled, walking over to him

you sat in the chair next to him and the two of you talked for a while

he told you about coming in last place, feeling like he didn’t work hard enough

it hurt you to see him like that and you did everything you could to reassure him that you were proud of him and he did the best that he could

he began to grow sleepy while talking to you and you could tell

“can you spend the night here with me?” 

you almost squealed out loud as he sleepy state but you just nodded and agreed

he scooted as far as he could to the side of the bed to make room for you

you laid down next to him and he immediately wrapped his body around yours hugging you as closely as he could

he easily fell asleep to you petting his hair and whispering sweet nothings to him

i squealed

~Lee Sanghyuk~

bEaNnnnN

hes so adorable i cant handle it

he also may be my moms favorite she doesnt know yet

although he is a dork he is very serious when it comes to his relationship with you

you are the light of his life and he will treat you as such

but youre still not safe from his pranks and constant jokes

he came to your apartment in his next attempt to bug you 

but when he noticed that you weren’t your normal bubbly self he placed himself next to you on the couch

you immediately reacted and rested your body against his

he leaned back into the cushions and pulled you into his lap

he would occasionally kiss your forehead letting out small hums

he would listen intensely as you tell him about you day

you explained why you were sad and he acted as if it happened to him

giving you advice on how to deal with the situation

it was rare for you to see him so serious but you loved that he was willing to help you with whatever problem that you had

even if it was something small a small trivial matter that didnt have any meaning

once he was sure that you were okay and they two of you would joke around

being the little shit that he is he would pin you down on the couch and began to tickle you

“yah, knock it off!” 

you tried your best to push him off of you

but our man is swole and was not letting you off that easy

once he finally decides youve had enough flops down and lays on top of you

“youre lucky youre cute”

you couldn’t stop the growing smile on your face as the two of you continued to joke around

~Baek Ju Ho~

bias wrecker number 2

hes so precious and i cant handle the cuteness

aaaahhhhh

excuse me ill calm myself

the boy

whether he admits it or not

he will drop anything and run the minute you call his name

and if youre sad or if you pout

lord you better believe hes right there plotting the death of whoever made you sad

one day you and zuho are out walking around doing couple things

you know, being adorable

when all of a sudden you see a group of girls pointing and laughing

you werent sure what they found funny but you began to grow self concious

it didnt even have to be you that they were laughing at, but your mind got the best of you

zuho noticed the sudden change in behavior and immediately took your hand

he pulled you into a hug and rocked you back and forth slightly

he caressed the back of your head and whispered to you about how much he loves you and how beautiful you are

you looked up at him and smiled softly 

he chuckled to himself before placing a soft kiss to your lips

he continued to press light kisses all over your face as he hugged you tighter

you giggled and hid your face in his chest

the people that surrounded you couldn’t help but smile as they watched the two of you

even the girls who you thought were laughing at you they had large smiles on their faces as they all talked about wishing to have a boyfriend like him

~Kim Seok Woo~

i swear i feel like he would be the best boyfriend ever

i know im not the only one who sees it

C U D D L E B U G

he won’t be able to live if he doesnt touch you at least once every ten minutes

ten seconds

he loves your touches 

lets be honest he loves everything about you

i am not kidding

after a stressful day of filming schedules and whatever other plans he has

his favorite thing is to come home and have you waiting for him

there were a lit of times where you would fall asleep waiting for him

he knew that it was late and you wouldnt be awake so he didnt bother to call you

he walked into his dorm tired from the long day that he had

after getting a bottle of water he walked into his room and a large smile came to his face

you were lying on his bed bundled up in his blankets sleeping peacefully

he got ready for bed as fast as he could wanted to lie next to you as fast as he could

once he was ready he carefully and quietly lifted up the blanket covering up your body

he laid down next to you and slipped one arm underneath your body

he slowly rolled you over so your body was lying on top of his

once the two of you were cozy he covered your body back up with the blanket

letting out a peaceful sigh he relaxed his body against yours closing his eyes and letting your quiet breathing quickly lulling him to sleep

you woke up a little later noticing that you werent lying in the same position you fell asleep in

your eyes fluttered open and a smile came to your face as you stared at your sleeping boyfriend

you placed a small kiss on his nose before settling back down and once again falling into your slumber

~Yoo Taeyang~

baby

i love him so much

literally no words can explain it

uggghhh

anyway

his favorite thing to do outside of his idol life

iiisss 

*YOU*

so when he FINALLY gets a day off

guess what hes doing

hanging out with the love of his life of course

duh

he spent the night at your apartment the day before and now the two of you are lying in bed 

youre both lying on your sides just staring at each other with cute smiles on your faces

the aura around the two of you is peaceful, quiet, and intimate

to anyone looking in you could see the love pouring off of the two of you just by looking

you lifted your hand and brought it closer to taeyangs face, trailing your fingers up his jaw

you brought your hand up to his hairline and gently caressed his hair

“i love you”

a red hue came to taeyangs cheeks as he buried his face in your neck

“yah, you cant say stuff like that out of no where”

you giggle as his breath tickled your neck

you draped your arms loosely around his neck as he shifted to hover above you

“but its true”

“i love you” 

he buried his face in your neck again and attacked you with kisses

you squealed loudly and the two of you spent the rest of your day just like this

and neither of you would have it any other way

~Kim Youngkyun~

this dood

A W K W A R D

seriously please help him

no one really knows how the two of you got together

youre both so awkward that people dont understand your relationship

but lets be honest the two of you are perfect for each other

hwiyoung is a sensitive lil gentleman and he totally understands you

buttt sometimes it doesnt come out how he wants it to

you know, him being awkward and all

he does love your affection but he just has a hard time showing it

so a lot of the time youre the one that has to initiate it

“youngie come here”

his head shot over to look at you the minute that he heard you whine

he stood on his feet and walked over to his bed where you were sitting

“are you okay? whats wrong?” 

you just smiled and grabbed his hand pulling him onto the bed

he let out an exclaim of surprise as he landed with an oof on the bed

you acted quickly and wrapped your arms around his waist

you laid half of your body on top of his and stared down at him

his face was red as he stared up at you

“i hate it when you do that”

you laughed again as you rested your chin on his chest

“you love it and you know it”

he just rolled his eyes and the two of you continued to talk to each other while lying like that

hwiyoung locked his hands around your waist while you talked about your idea of getting a new puppy

“will you name it after me?” 

you gushed at his pout and squished his cheeks together

“youre too cute”

you loved how adorable he was and you hoped that he stayed this adorable forever

~Kang Chanhee~

fluffy fluff boy

deserves all the love in the world

supes awk

but tries to act confident around you because well

the boys make fun of him about you

our lil actor boy will be super chill about it as long as youre in the room

but the minute you leave

will whine and complain to his members

so one day when you randomly walked into the dorm and they were all there

you didnt hesitate to walk over to chani on the couch and plop down next to him 

you wrapped one arm around his waist and rested your head on his shoulder

you let out a small sigh and relaxed yourself into his body

the boys didnt say anything but they all had smiles on their faces as the two of you were in your own little world

chani slipped his hand into yours as the two of you continued to talk about your days

“when are you going to teach me your new routine?”

chani laughed and kissed the top of your head

“whenever youre ready”

he smiled when you let out a little yawn

“come on, lets go to bed”

you sat up and stood on your feet following him into his room

you plopped onto his bed and he laid down next to you

“will you sing for me?” 

he let out a tiny giggle before nodding

once the two of you were comfortable he began to sing quietly until your head lulled to the side 

once he knew you were sleeping he hugged you closer loving the fact that you were so close to him

[mieczyhale]

you know what i could go for?? [late night ramble journey ahead // i did not re-read this so who knows!!]

an in-depth fic about klaus’s ten months in vietnam.. but with ben there. klaus getting pants and a gun shoved at him and ben is just as confused and freaked out. klaus finding out where they are, or ben finding out and telling him. klaus meeting dave and ben is sitting next to him, side eyeing dave because who is this soldier and why did he come all the way from the back of the bus to introduce himself. ben sees it / can tell when klaus shoves the briefcase under their seat right after and ben’s just like ‘are you fucking kidding me??’ and of course klaus would make stupid decisions because of an attractive man with a sweet smile. so he’s exasperated but also concerned because it’s 1968 and people like klaus are treated even worse now than they are in 2019, way worse, and all of these men are probably straight - dave included. and if any of them are gay they’re not gonna say anything let alone act on it. it wouldn’t be worth it. klaus could get himself hurt or killed just for being himself, if he acts too.. well.. himself after that he stays by klaus’s side more than he did in their own time, which is really saying something. offers advice and wisdom like he always has. he warns him about snipers and mines and bullets and in turn klaus warns his squad. ben can’t lie - it feels pretty fucking good to be responsible for saving lives without having to take any. he still wishes klaus would just try the briefcase, he has it, but at some point he stops pushing. because he does think klaus needs to go back and soon but everytime he brings it up klaus gets defensive and angry - he can do what he wants. he has friends here now. he has a family that actually likes him. that actually cares. he’s considered useful and important and he’s on drugs!! he can get high and none of them think any less of him for it. why can’t ben see that maybe this is where he belongs?? maybe the middle of the fucking vietnam war is where he fits?? and it’s not like he has anyone or anything back home. the only thing he could have missed is ben and ben’s with him in 1968 so there’s literally nothing. and ben wants to yell back, he wants to argue that there’s plenty for klaus to go back to, but he’s realizing that klaus.. might be right. and that hurts. and of course pisses ben off but it hurts because nobody should have to travel back in time and fight in a pointless war to find basic respect, especially not klaus. klaus who has been through enough - who deserves good things more than anyone ben knows. so after that conversation he doesn’t bring it up anymore. he looks at it sometimes, and thinks about their siblings, how they just gained their missing brother only to lose another, how are they doing? have they noticed klaus is missing yet? did they see the motel room?? did they know that all of that blood was klaus’s?? (shh patch didn’t die, hazel and cha cha escaped by knocking her out but she lives because i said so. diego shows up and finds her, freaks out at first but is relieved that she’s fine. he manages to get her to wake up and she tells him that klaus was there. he was hurt, very very hurt, but he got away. she doesn’t know where he went, he crawled through the vent, and he’s gone, diego. you need to find him - he needs a hospital. ahem anyway) ben thinks on these things and it never takes him long to get disgusted looking at it because it contains, in a way, their family. and he thinks he knows the answers. he gets to a point where he decides he wouldn’t be upset if they never had to see those jackasses again. his loyalties lie with klaus, after 13 years together there’s no way they wouldnt be. and if doing what’s best for klaus, doing what makes klaus happy, is staying right where they’ve found themselves than he can deal with it. that’s where he ends up anyway but its definitely not a quick or easy point to reach. he’s there for every battle, all the days of marching, watching klaus kill people and knowing how badly it’s affecting his brother and yet he doesn’t stop. he doesn’t pull back without orders, doesn’t put his gun down until he knows his squad is safe. and that fierceness grows as he gets closer to dave. ben doesn’t know what to think of dave at first, probably doesn’t trust him - knowing every man klaus has ever found attractive or had a “relationship” with before - but ben literally watches this - admittedly handsome - soldier boy fall in love with klaus, and klaus with him. ben witnesses the disco. the private conversation - from a distance, he’s doesn’t feel quite right listening in and he can still see them. the way they look at each other. how gently dave approaches every moment with klaus - the hand on his cheek, their first kiss (which he WILL tease klaus about later) when they head back to the hotel that was booked for all the guys for r&r, ben decides to wander saigon instead because he’s pretty sure he knows where things are going to go considering klaus and dave are roommates (oh my god they were roommates) by the time he gets back they’re both passed out (in the same bed. as he expected) from that day forward klaus is happy, genuinely happy in a way ben can’t remember him ever being, and dave has of course gained ben’s full approval (especially when klaus tells dave about the ghosts and dave believes him. even turns to where klaus is pointing at ben and tells ben that he’s happy that klaus has at least one good sibling, that he’s happy to know ben is there. when dave knows ben is there he always greets him. it’s not anything that grand really but it means a lot to ben. and when klaus finally tells him about the time travel, a little later on, dave believes him then too. said it made sense because he always thought there was no way someone as incredible as klaus could’ve come from the same place as he himself - let alone the same time. it never seemed to.. fit) SO ben is a fan. and he stays by both their sides - keeping them alive as best he can - along with a few other ghosts who are coherent, previous members of the 173rd, who pass things on to ben when klaus is too high. they talk, as long as no one but dave is around - dave who adapts pretty easily to klaus holding a whole conversation with someone he can’t see or hear. and ben.. stays ben. the only thing being in the war really changes is the way he views their siblings and he now has one other live person that he can “talk” to. eventually, almost 11 months in, they find out they’re getting sent to the frontlines. even closer to the danger. and klaus has a bad feeling. this is when ben brings up the briefcase again, hesitantly, and before klaus goes off reminds him that they could take dave with them. if he wanted to go. klaus can return to their time, to relative safety, and still have dave. it’s no longer a ‘one or the other’ situation. all they have to do is get dave to say ‘yes’. he says it very quickly of course (if you think i’d let dave die you’re out of your goddamn mind) he can be tough and feral when he needs to be, when pushed if klaus is in danger but he isn’t a killer, he doesn’t want to be a killer, he wants out. but he also wants a life with klaus and while they talked about going back to the states in.. well.. dave’s time and getting a little house and all that - doing that in 2019 sounds much better. especially after the night klaus told him softly about how things were different for lgbtq+ people, how they could hold hands and be as out as they wanted. get married. adopt. all things dave spent his whole life believing he’d never be allowed to have. so they do it - right then. klaus pulls out the briefcase and they gather the few things they wanted to keep and in a bright light they’re gone. (maybe they said something, or goodbye, to each squadmate before leaving. maybe they didnt and it hurt but if they waited around to get through everyone it would be too late to run) AND OH!! they take the ghost soldiers with them / the ghost soldiers find them in 2019, because i’m a slut for klaus having good ghosts, friend ghosts, who - even if they died horribly, are still the same person they were alive. and maybe sometimes they look like their deaths and sometimes they can look normal - ben teaching the soldiers how to be ghosts?? including how to appear as you were; whole, no holes or blood or missing limbs or chunks of head blown off. they’re all grateful and so is klaus. tho listen: he still gets high because i fucking said so - however, at least until the world is saved, he sticks to cigarettes and - for sleeping purposes - pot, dave does as well. because dave isnt a square. maybe he sticks to that path afterwards. maybe not. i for one support everything except 100% sobriety 100% of the time in this instance  anyway: later on when klaus can make ben corporeal for any amount of time he wants ben tells their siblings about the real life romantic drama he got to watch close up, from their first meeting all the way to the return to 2019. he also mentions a lot of things about the war, the sights and sounds of senseless murder - something their brother and his boyfriend were forced to take part in - the wounds they had to deal with, heal through. klaus and dave definitely have some scars. the fear. and that’s after telling them about hazel and cha cha and the almost two days they had klaus and nobody noticed. (maybe klaus lets his siblings meet the other soldiers, maybe not. maybe he lets them wander the mansion corporeal to scare the shit out of people. who knows) ben wants to make their siblings feel bad. he wants them to hurt and feel guilty. it’s the very least they deserve he thinks, when it’s all said and done. he hasn’t been able to say anything to them for 13 years and he’s got a lot of things built up - but gotta say, the last year (five-ish days?? starting at ep.1) have really taken the whole goddamn cake. klaus is embarrassed and shocked and actually quite touched that little benny is really going feral for the first time - though he keeps trying to tell him none of it is a big deal. he doesnt like confrontation. dave however is extremely pleased by the whole thing. klaus kept saying he and ben would get along if they ever got to meet and he was right. ben had, with a serious face, dubbed them the klaus hargreeves love & protection squad (bc dave doesnt know what the fuck even a ‘meem’ is yet) and that’s that. they make up a handshake and everything. klaus has never felt so loved. 

aaand eventually klaus and dave and ben (because of course he’s invited) do get that little house away from the city - someplace with few to no ghosts. someplace they can make their home. they make sure it has a room they can make up for ben even though he doesnt sleep (he still deserves his own space. a place to get away from them if he wants. somewhere to put his books and such. ben doesnt get emotional about that at all. absolutely not.) and they get pets and klaus gardens and ben reads books about gardening so he can help and dave works (mechanic is always a good time. or bookstore owner!! coffee shop?? listen. those may or may not be my favorite aus) and maybe the siblings get to visit and maybe they mend things and bond or whatever idk THE POINT IS:: Ben is a good brother and i think the idea of him going through vietnam with klaus is interesting and if someone with more ideas/thoughts ever wrote this i would be on that like cheese on broccoli honestly. THE SECOND POINT IS:: Klaus and Dave deserve to be happy and have the life they dreamed about together and if they shared their home with anyone it would be the Bentacles SO… OKAY…  that definitely did it’s own thing but i really really genuinely love thinking about what those months would have been like with ben there - what he would have thought or said or done about things yknow?? and how that would have affected klaus/changed things. i didnt give a lot of examples in this because my brain didn’t want to stay on track (as if it ever does) but it’s 1:30 in the morning and im so fucking tired lsdfd;lk if you actually read this.. first of all: im sorry. second of all: thank you. and literally if anyone ever wrote something about this topic (not like.. this post specifically, just the ben in vietnam plot) and nobody important dies i’ll love you and give you a lil smooch on the noggin  s m ooch. smooches. you know who likes smooches?? klaus. you know who deserves smooches?? klaus. you know who’s getting smooches?? THAT’S RIGHT. KLAUS. because dave has a degree in giving them and he can’t let that education go to waste amiright??

this post.. may or may not have been brought to you by wine as well.. 

ope

[monbooboo-the-fool]

All Over Again - Changkyun

REQUEST: hi, well can I request a angst to fluff with Changkyun ? Maybe something about y/n breaking up with him because of things that he said during an argument but then he apologize and even tho y/n didnt forgive him completely she/he gives him another chance

Hi lovely! I hope I did this justice for you! Thank you for being my first tumblr requester! TW: self harm

Words: 1,316

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He had only today to get his shit out before I threw it out in my front yard. And I have sprinklers so he should probably hurry up. The things he said to me were so out of line, and they hit me in my insecurities. It was unfair and unnecessary to the argument. It started off extremely petty.

"Why are you wearing that out?" He asked. It was a simple shorts and crop top, nothing extremely out of line? Regardless, I was gonna wear whatever I liked.

I chuckled softly, "Kyunnie, relax. It's not tits out, it's just a crop tee and a pair of shorts. It's humid outside right now."

He sighed softly. "Okay but can't you survive in leggings?" What the hell was his deal?

"No, I can survive in my crop tee and a pair of shorts." I shrugged, pulling my hair up. "Can you survive off of my dick please?"

Changkyun actually rolled his damn eyes at me. "Literally no one wants to see all of that. That's all for me anyway." And that is where he royally fucked up. I froze, and he didn't notice that.

My weight was always my biggest trigger. And he always talked to me and looked at me as if it wasn't there. Never did he ever talk to me like that. I didn't know what his problem was but it was highly disrespectful. I've pinched my skin between my fingers and wished to cut off some pieces with scissors. The way those words so easily fell from his mouth... they hurt. "I'll be right back," I whispered, pushing past him to go change.

Sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Just plain grey and black. Nothing that looked like I was going out at all. I put on glasses, going for a little bit nerd to try to add something cute to the new ensemble. Those eight little words obliterated the entirety of my self esteem. When I came out of my room, I handed Changkyun my house keys. "See you when you fucking get back."

He was confused. "What? You're not going? Just because I asked you to change?" Was he dumb or just stupid?

I rolled my eyes, blinking back tears. "No, I don't want to go out with the guys anymore." I headed to the kitchen. I stress cooked, rarely stressed ate anymore. But I sure could whip up a whole dinner when I was stressed.

"We can just eat here." He noticed what I was about to. "I'll call it off."

I slammed a plate down on the counter, accidentally shattering it. "No! For fuck's sake, go out!" I grabbed my keys back. "On second thought, give me these back. I'll let you in, just fucking call me." I threw the keys in the counter before breaking down into tears.

It was silent for a little bit. "What's wrong, baby?" He asked. "Let's sit down and talk."

I shook my head. "No, go." I didn't want to talk.

"Tell me what's wrong!" He snapped.

I glared at him. "The fuck is your issue tonight?" I yelled back. "Getting snappy with me, telling me 'no one wants to see all that' when you know goddamn fucking well that shit hurts me to hear, acting like you can tell me I should change for what? What, did Wonho express a secret crush on me? Did Kihyun confess his undying love for me? What the actual fuck has been your problem tonight?" I turned back to the broken plate, throwing away the chunks, watching my step for any broken shards on the floor.

He fell silent, realizing how he'd been acting tonight. "Y/N," he mumbled. "Please, let's talk. It's all my fault." I bet he felt really stupid by now.

"Since you at least realize that, I guess there's no reason to talk then, huh?" He tried to take my hand, but I snatched it away. "Changkyun, I want you gone tonight. I want you to leave. I don't want to fucking see you. Leave. And I want your shit out within the week." I looked up to see him with tears in his eyes. "Don't start crying. I refuse to harbor anyone who can so easily make me feel like shit. You have something, someone so fragile in your hands and you threw it to the ground. You just fucked up years of shit I've tried to work on and get past in eight words! The one person I trusted completely to never speak to me like that. You absolutely destroyed my heart with those eight words. And if you didn't think any of that through, that's just your own fault. I want you out." He left without saying another word and it kind of hurt more. I didn't know he'd really leave.

That was about three weeks ago. I was being nice enough to keep his stuff. When the doorbell rang, I opened the door, avoiding eye contact. "Everything is upstairs." I sighed softly.

"No, I want to talk first." Changkyun said, sitting down. I rolled my eyes sitting down on the couch. "Listen, baby, I am so sorry. I don't know what was wrong with me that night, I was stressed, there were so many things out of my control."

I scoffed. "So, you thought you could control your partner? What the fuck is that?" He sighed, trying to right his wrongs.

He shook his head. "No, I just got angry and wanted a say in something and I am so sorry. That is where I shouldn't have ever used that. I am sick without you, I love you so much and I never meant to hurt you like this." I didn't forgive him. Not yet.

"Do you understand how hurt I was?" I asked, tears coming to my eyes. I lifted my basketball shorts up a bit and his eyes widened, tears coming to his eyes as well. "This isn't a guilt trip in any way, I'm sure you feel plenty guilty by yourself. It hurt me so much. I love you and I hoped you loved me enough to not see what I saw. I saw pudginess, unattractiveness. What I saw was not good enough for you. I felt that pain, shame and disgust all over again, Changkyun. You know how long it's been since the last time I ever picked up something. And this time I couldn't call you to stop me. I want to completely change the person I tried to finally accept because of that. Because the one person who I thought would love me unconditionally didn't." I said my piece, ready for that to just be it.

But alas, it wasn't. "You're not the only one... I got so angry and had no way to explode. It's only a few but that's not the point.” I bit my lip, sitting up to listen to him. “I love you and I never meant to hurt you like that. I love you. I want to come back. Please, I will do anything.” He walked closer to me. “I’ll sleep on the couch, I’ll sleep on the floor.” With tears streaming down his face, he kneeled to the ground and took my hand. “I want you back. I’m on my knees here, baby. Y/N, baby please. I love you.”

I sighed, wiping my own tears. “I don’t forgive you yet, but you can come back. But don’t you ever talk to me like that again, Changkyun.” He stood up, offering me to stand up.

I took his hand and he pulled me up into a kiss. “I promise, I promise you. It’ll never happen again,” he sighed softly, holding me tightly.

“Okay,” I smiled. “Now, let’s go make up for some lost time.” He chuckled softly, wiping his tears before effortlessly picking me up and taking me upstairs.

[weareallfallengods]

Flight from Grace Chapter 1 - A small stumble

The long-awaited complete 1st chapter of my WIP novel! I started this over 6 months ago and I’m finally getting into the swing of it.

Synopsis: What happens when a Fallen Angel with no memory of her own eternal past meets a woman who can see her for who she really is? A head on collision between the world as we know it and an eternal battle between the immortals tasked with safeguarding the mortal realm. 

Grace can see things she shouldn’t be able to; after all, immortals have gone to a lot of trouble to make sure we can’t see them as they really are, so Something Has Changed, and she and her Fallen Angel will find out what’s going on, and why they seem to always be stuck in the middle of it all.

Themes: Angels and Demons, examination of mortality and our understanding of and belief in the supernatural as well as the eternal nature of existence. The battle between good and evil, and how no one is ever what they seem to be when we look past prejudices and social judgements. LGBTQ+, proper ethnic and cultural representation (read: most characters aren’t straight or white!).

Triggers: If you don’t like stories that put an often irreverant and sacriligeous spin on Christian mythos, this isn’t for you. LGBTQ+ romance, slow burn, non-explicit.

===================================================

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

Some neanderthal interrupted my deep contemplation of the double whiskey sour in front of me. Which was very rude. Whiskey sours demand your undivided attention and get cranky if ignored for too long. He should have known that, but either he didn’t know or didnt care, so either way- neanderthal.

He was leaning on the bar with the casual air of someone who has done this same dance too many times, the practiced ease of a used car salesman slapping the roof of a car. At least this one’s breath wasn’t too foul. Not that this hadn’t happened before. Oh no, I’d never been badly hit on in this bar like ten thousand times already. No that never happened. I was able to just sit in peace with my drink for the entire night. Yeah, right. Why do I keep coming back then, you ask? Well, Grace makes one hell of a whiskey sour for one thing.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Ugh, this one wasn't going away with simply being ignored. Lovely.

“Excuse me?” I looked over languidly, with as much disdainful irritation on my face as I could possibly muster from the depths of my three-drinks-in soul.

“I said, ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”

His stupid shit-eating leer didnt help my mood any. I wasn’t ever in a good mood if I showed up here, and that’s probably one of the reasons I kept coming back- assholes like this gave me a vent for my foul mood.

“No actually. It’s less of a fall and more of a stumble really. More like getting tossed out of a club by a bouncer than falling down the stairs. Couple of bruises, a minor scrape, more damaged pride than anything really.”

I could see his monkey-brain churning slowly to try and digest my response that didn’t fit his pre-programmed scenario. I half expected to see steam coming out of an ear. God, some men are just so... ew.

“Um, what?”

Apparently I broke him. Well, that happens sometimes, when I give someone a response they weren’t expecting. Which happens more often than I’d be willing to admit to myself.

“I said that getting tossed out of heaven doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think it would. It’s not that far of a tumble really.”

He chuckled, “That’s real cute darlin’, never heard that one before! How’s about you and me find a table so I can hear more about it? Maybe have a look at those bruises, make sure you don't need more…attention.”

Sweet Mother of Mikhail, that was bad. Like even worse than his initial pickup line. I almost had to respect his commitment to such a shitty way of trying to pick me up. He had some balls, that’s for sure, either from drunken stupidity or pure ignorant self-confidence. They say that bravery and stupidity go hand in hand, and here was their shining example.

“Believe me sweetie, you don’t want my 'attention’,” I said softly, for the first time raising my eyes to lock with his glazed gaze. “My attention can become very… uncomfortable.”

He started to smirk for just a split second, but when my eyes met his, both the smirk and the color melted from his face. His mouth hung slack as he felt his soul staring down the opening fiery abyss that he found reflected in my eyes. I watched his mind recoil in horror at the emptiness it saw as it tried futilely to pull back from the horror of empty infinity it was confronted with. I saw in his eyes the sudden awareness of how small and insignificant his place in the universe was, and shrink in horror, trying to flee internally only to find that there’s no escape from your own mind and the finality of human existence.

I looked away just as his eyes started to roll back in his head. No need to cause a scene with him passing out. After all, my whiskey sour was crying from being ignored. As they do.

“I think you should probably go home now Blake,” I demurred softly. “You’ve probably had enough, and your wife would be happy if you tucked the children into bed for once. Oh, and coffee won’t remove the smell of alcohol, so just have a peppermint. Your kids like that smell, reminds them of Christmas.”

He kind of half nodded, like a sleepwalker. I sighed. Hopefully he doesn't have an existential crisis later and just shrugs it off as being too drunk. Hell, maybe he’ll cut back on the sauce. I hate it when I hear about someone offing themselves after meeting me, especially if they have kids. Well, hopefully he just takes the daily inebriation down a notch or two. I can hope, can’t I?

As he shuffled off, lager forgotten at the bar, I hoped he’d be alright. Genuinely. Sure, I enjoyed taking my frustration at being stuck here out on them, but I didn't actually wish them lasting harm. A lesson or two in politeness and decency, a minor scuffle to break up the monotony, but no real damage. That’s what I told myself anyway. Made it easier to pretend to sleep at night. Hope he makes it home ok. Hope his kids get a happy memory of daddy saying goodnight for once. Hope he says he loves his wife, and apologizes. Hah. Yeah. Like that’ll happen. But, what can I say, I’m a foolish optimist at heart. And nothing hurts more than having your hopes crushed. I should know.

Damn. My drink was crying, a small puddle of condensation soaking into the bar napkin it rested on. Again. Another sigh. And one more for the first sigh. I hate sighing. It’s the most comprehensive sound of the acceptance of defeat ever created. The acknowledgment of futility. And I hate that. I thought I’d be fighting to the bitter end, but apparently Destiny had other plans. Fucking Destiny. She’s the whole reason I’m even drinking in the first place.

“Get you a fresh one?”

A sweet silver-bell tinkle of a voice broke my unintentional reverie. Grace was back, checking on me. She knew my peccadilloes by now. She knew how much I hated when my drink got watered down by the ice melting if it got ignored for too long. I nodded.

She smiled pleasantly and slid over a new drink, already prepped.

“I figured, after that creep pounced on ya.”

I frowned slightly. There was something different about this one. Hunh. Oh, the ice. There wasn’t any. There were two black cubes sitting in it instead. OK, why are there rocks in my drink?

I looked up at Grace, still slightly puzzled.

“Oh those? Yeah I noticed you didn’t like it when your drink gets watered down, so I bought some Irish whiskey stones! That way your drink stays cold, but doesn't dilute. Got 'em special, just for you.”

I cocked one eyebrow slightly, “Just for me?”

“Yep! Let’s face it, you’re the only one who comes in here with that kind of class, so I put 'em in the freezer back here with a big 'ol note so Jimmy doesn’t think I’m crazy for keeping rocks in the fridge,” her airy chuckle sprinkled across my ears.

I stared. I was in shock. OK, well maybe I’m being dramatic, but I was still surprised. People don’t normally do nice things for me. Or to me for that matter. If I’m honest, they mostly run away.

“Why…” I couldn't even formulate a coherent sentence. Jesus, get yourself together!

“I dunno, I just figured you don't seem like you have anyone looking out for you, and you seem to attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention, so I thought you could use a nice surprise, y’know, cheer you up a little.”

I nodded, more in surprise than agreement. I literally couldn’t recall the last time someone voluntarily tried to do something nice, just for me, no hope or expectation of reward or compensation. I was probably silent a little too long for a comfortable conversation. Hey, I was revelling in the new experience, cut me some slack.

“Well. Wow, um, thanks.” Yeah real smooth. Sweet Mikhail’s Grave I have no idea how to actually talk to this woman.

In retrospect, that should have been my first clue, but hey, I was a little distracted.

“I appreciate it, that’s really sweet of you.” Ok that’s slightly less glaringly awkward.

“Not trying to be rude at all, but I gotta ask- what’s your deal? Like you come in here all the time, lookin’ like a million bucks, never talk to anyone, get in fights every so often, get harassed like every single time but you keep coming back? I mean, I’m not trying to pry if you don’t wanna talk, but you know, like I’m totally trying to pry!”

Now it was my turn to stare slack-jawed. Oh Fates, how your twists are cruel. I closed my mouth a lot faster than the sot from earlier though, so my pride wasn't too damaged.

“It’s kind of a long and uninteresting story really. Mostly, you make the best whiskey sour. And the people here are…interesting.”

“Honey, there’s no way a story coming from someone who looks like that,” she waved generally up and down at me, “could possibly be boring. Plus, it’s slow, as always, so humor me.”

Sometimes, I can be kind of thick. Slow. Moronic. A nincompoop. A maroon. Several minutes of conversation with this girl and I only just now noticed- she hadn’t looked away from my eyes. She was meeting my gaze with no problem. She wasn't sweating and shaking and passing out. She was looking me right in the eye, just like a normal person, no fear showing on her face. No reaction at all. Just a normal girl, having a normal conversation, with what she thought was another normal person.

“Are…you OK?” Grace looked a bit concerned.

Aw shit, I was staring, and not even trying to hide it. Well now I felt dumb. And, why did I feel dumb? What was up with this girl that she made me feel so self conscious, so uncomfortable, like one of those fainting goats that just freezes and falls over when you blink too hard at them. Speaking of blinking really hard.

“Um, oh, yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Really. Sorry, just not many people actually want to have a real conversation with me.”

Grace leaned over the bar a little, propping up on her elbows, lowering her tone a bit. “Well, I don’t know why, 'cuz you sure seem hella interesting to me.”

“Hunh. Well, I don't know about that. But I would like to ask you something first, if you don't mind?”

“Fire away honey!”

“This might sound odd, but, why aren’t you looking away? What do you see when you look at me?”

She pulled a tiny bit closer. “Nothin’ more than just about the sparkly-est green eyes I ever seen; a dash of blue, like the Bahamas. Somethin’ else I can't quite put my finger on…” as she trailed off, I felt her finger lightly brush the knuckles on my hand that was still holding my drink. “I kinda wanna find out though.”

OK, now that was smooth. Holy fuck, that was really, really smooth. Like two hundred year old Laphroaig single malt filtered through the blessed socks of His Holiness the Pope smooth. Hold up, now she was trying to pick me up? What the hell universe? What’s going on here?

I swallowed, unable to look away now myself. “That’s all? Nothing that scares you?”

“Not yet, sugar.”

Alright, that’s different.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I grabbed her hand. Maybe a little too hard from the slight wince I saw.

“OK we need to leave. NOW.”

“Hold up honey, we were just talkin’, we ain’t there yet!” She tried pulling back a little.

“No, no, you don’t understand! I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be able to see that. I can’t explain right now, but we have to figure out how you can see me that way.”

“But my shift’s not over for a couple more hours!”

“OK OK, I’m not being clear, sorry, this is the first time this has happened, so I’m a little shaken.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She actually blushed a little. “I just saw how you shot down every guy who came up to you, and I thought….well, you know, maybe…omg I’m sorry I didn't mean to upset you! I come on strong sometimes, when I’m interested in something, and when you first walked in, I saw those heels and that dress, and I just was like ‘oh wow’ and kinda couldn’t breathe for a minute, you know I don't see many girls come here lookin’ like that and oh God now I’m babbling and someone please shut me up I'm so sorry…”

I put a finger over her lips, gently.

“I’m not upset. Far from it actually. But we have something a tiny bit more urgent than that to address. I’m not who you think I am. Or what, I should say. But more to the point, there’s something bigger going on here. And I need to find out what. Fast.”

“Wait, so you’re not mad I hit on you?”

“We don’t have time for that now!” She recoiled slightly at my vehemence. “No, I’m not upset, but that’s not the point! You shouldnt be able to see my eyes. My real ones anyway. I was too slow on picking that up right away, and I’m sorry, but we have to get out of here, now, because something is different, and in my world, that’s never a good thing.”

“Your world?”

I was getting frustrated. “Yes, but I’ll explain later! I need you to come with me now. We need answers, and we need them fast. So, do you trust me?”

She hesitated. “Yeeeeees? I think? Like I wanna, but I don’t really know you?”

“Good enough for now! Let’s go!”

To her credit, she just dropped her bar towel, grabbed her phone from under the bar and came out from behind it, grabbing my hand as she yelled to the back, “Hey Jimmy! I gotta leave! Personal thing- cover for me?”

Just then, there was a bit of a commotion at the door. Grace turned to look, but I didn’t need to. I already knew what was there. I just clutched her hand even tighter and yanked her towards the back; there was an emergency exit near the bathrooms from what I remembered of that one really bad 'birthday’. Yeah, that was a bad one. But we ran.

Good thing I’m not super tall, wouldn’t want to draw attention, I thought to myself sarcastically. Goddamn heels. Why do I even wear these?

Sounds of glass breaking and shouting reached us as we plowed through the emergency exit into the alleyway. Don’t worry about that now, just keep moving.

“This way!” I pulled her to the front of the alley.

“Holy shit, that’s your bike?” She sounded genuinely impressed. Finally, I wasn’t the only one who had that reaction at seeing it. 

“Oh yeah, she’s a sweet ride, and perfect for this situation. Or any situation, really. Jump on.”

I probably should have shut the door behind us, but hey, it was a day for me missing obvious things. The noise coming from the bar was getting louder.

“I’ve never done this before!” Grace exclaimed excitedly in my ear as I kicked my beast to life.

We roared out into the street, my white and gold Valentino’s left sparkling on the pavement where I kicked them. Fuckin’ useless, beautiful shoes. Sigh, they weren’t cheap. Oh well, they’re just shoes.

“Where are we going!?” Grace yelled over the rush of wind whipping our hair like tiny flails of purgatory.

“Not sure yet! But we’re going to find out!”

“I don't even know your name!”

My heart sank a bit.

“Don't worry! Neither do I! ”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The bar exploded behind us as it faded into the night thanks to the fabulous Ducati between our legs. Oh and that wasn’t metaphorical- I glanced in the mirror at the sound; it literally exploded. Ball of fire and all. I guess that’s to be expected, what with all the alcohol and what I’d suspected for a while was going on in the basement. Way too many flammable liquids in one place. But that didn't really matter now. All that mattered was getting away from what caused the explosion as fast as we possibly could. 

“What the hell was that!?” Grace yelled in my ear. Again. I’m going to have to get some headsets or something if this is going to be a habit. Well, the riding together part, not the fleeing for our lives part anyway. 

“I’ll explain as soon as we can talk, promise! For now, just hold on! And don't look behind us!" 

“As if I’m gonna let go now!”

That glance in the rear view told me as much as I needed to know, which was more than I wanted, but enough to have an idea of what we were running from. I mean, I figured that’s what it was, but I’m still tired of being right, even after all this time. You’d think I'd be used to it by now. 

That pale blue and red glow was enough. Hell, the noise it made had been enough for me to know what it was. And trust me, I was not overreacting by running first. I’d seen that color a few too many times in my life to think that there was anything else to be done except run. Once was more than enough for anyone. Who am I kidding? Most people don't get a chance to see it more than once. Guess I’m just lucky. Or the opposite. Pretty sure I’m the latter actually. 

Grace was shivering on my back as we sped away. She’d gone quiet, her mood matching the night around us, the neon signs and street lights reflecting their multi-colored halos in the rain-slicked streets. Fog was starting to rise from the pavement, adding to the soft glow the streets were taking on. Thin, wispy strands curling around street lights and bus stops, blasted into nothing as the bike tore through them, the roar of the exhaust shattering the relative quiet of the late night calm. 

Well, it should have been quiet anyway. The explosion of the bar kind of changed that. Then came the sound. 

It mixed with the growing whine from the crotch rocket under us, which seemed like a fitting counterpoint to the cacophony of something that sounded like if you’d thrown a hundred maltese dogs into a tornado and then blasted it over a crappy school intercom. I hated that sound. Almost as much as the dogs it reminded me of. 

“Aw shit, it saw us.” Time to see if the tires on this baby gripped as well as the kid at the shop claimed they did. 

Well, at least there wasn’t too much traffic. Still, even though there weren’t many trucks and accountant-driven sedans to weave in and out of, there were still enough of them that it took a hell of a lot more concentration than my alcohol soaked brain was ready to deal with. Definitely hadn’t planned on being the next Lewis Hamilton after a night at the bar, that’s for damn sure. 

“What the fuu….?” Grace’s expletive trailed off in the whipping wind as I kept us weaving in and out and through, gunning the shit out of my bike whenever there was an opening big enough to do so without turning us into extremely messy, if fashionable, pancakes.

“Try not to worry about it! OK I mean, yeah, worry, but not like understand worry!”

“How the hell do you not worry about...that!?”

I took a good look back for the first time as we whipped around a corner, using the rain-slick street to slide without losing any speed. My heart sank. At least it wasn’t in my throat choking me anymore. Sarcastic positivity in the face of death? Yeah that’s my jam. Even if I do keep it to myself. Most of the time anyway.

The damn thing was getting closer. Faster than I thought it could. Damn, tonight just wasn’t my night for noticing things, now was it?

That second of splitting my attention nearly sent us flying and a tired busboy standing at the corner bus stop to the hospital, but we only just missed him, with barely enough room to avoid slamming into the back end of something that should have been parked at a kids soccer game, not getting on the expressway at this time of night. 

Slipping into an alley entrance, Grace’s nails dug through the flimsy material I was wrapped in, making me yelp in surprise. 

“Sorry,” she muttered.

I was about to tell her it was cool, considering the circumstances, and given that I wasn’t sure if it made me jump because it hurt, or her hands were cold, or because of where they’d slid down to, when we blew out the other side of the alley, causing a literal postcard explosion from the stand I clipped as we bounced out on to the main road again, just in time to swerve hard to avoid becoming Penske poster-girls for a single truck. 

"Sweet Jesus fuck! What the hell IS that?"

Goddammit, didn’t I tell her not to look back? I wasn’t going to tell her how the beast chasing us had seen us dart down the alley, and since it couldn't fit through the traffic as neatly as we could, silently charge down the side of the building, slamming into the same shop front that had so recently lost it's postcard stand as it tried to take the same corner, still snuffling the ground and air to track us. I managed to gain us a few precious seconds of lead as it disentangled itself from the fruit cart, re-launching itself down the alley, bicycle wheel still caught in it's whiskers that streamed and whipped behind it.

“It’s running fucking sideways on the buildings!”

Aw shit. She can see it. I was afraid of that.

And that was all the distraction it needed too. 

With a last spring off the corner of an empty flower shop, the beast took a massive swipe at us. Come on, come on, make the corner! It's thick talons cut a blazing arc through the rain as it howled. One of its claws caught the rear end of the bike, knocking it heavily to the side, and nearly throwing Grace off. Good thing she’s got a death grip on my hips right now. Oh boy don’t think of that, too distracting right now, that’s how you get killed!

Grace screamed again as the bike was whipped around violently from behind, and Grace she was confronted with a vision not even her wildest nightmares could have come up with. At least, I hope she doesn’t have nightmares like this anymore. 

The beast’s jaws opened wide to crush us like a nutcracker on adderall, glowing drool whipping around in thick, viscous strands from teeth bigger than my hand, while she seemed mesmerized by the halo of tentacle-like whiskers that seemed to float in slow motion, despite how fast everything was happening. The beast looked at me, it’s eyes burning red meeting mine as I tried to maintain my grip on the bike that was rapidly being torn from my hands. I was holding on to that tank with my knees in a way that would have made the Russian Women’s weightlifting team proud. I could hear the scream that tried to jump from Grace’s mouth only for it to turn into a slow rush of soundless breath as she slammed into my back from the force of me yanking that bike around as hard as I could possibly manage. 

Ground. Street. Tires on. People off. Stay upright. Don’t let go. Run.

The bellow from the beast behind us meant nothing to me now. I was numb, my world narrowing to the few feet in front of me, and Grace behind me. Swerve. Dodge. Car. Bike. Red light. Faster. Green. Faster. Faster. Get away. Car. Car. Bus. Turn. 

Suddenly the cars all dropped away. The turnpike. Oh thank God. I opened up the throttle all the way and finally realized I should probably start breathing again. 

Grace was trying to yell something, probably wanting an explanation. I mean I can’t blame her, but I said I’d explain! Did it look like now was suddenly the time for it? Then again, maybe it was important. 

I turned my head a bit to try to talk to her, but I paused with my mouth still open. The beast was gone.Like gone gone. Vanished. Vamoosed. Not even like really far away gone, just not there any more. I squinted. Yeah, that was a little too easy.

“Did we get away?” 

I was actually about to answer her, when a glowing blue shape cashed into us from the side, just as I was starting to finally let my legs relax a little. Everything seemed to slow down. I know, everyone says that, but it’s true! I don’t know, maybe it was the whiskey sours, but as soon as we got hit, the world turned in to super slow-mo as the bike was ripped from my hands, and I felt Grace be pulled away from me. 

This thing tossed us like a couple of rag dolls thrown from a child’s stroller being kicked by a football player. Or at least it started to go that way. Somehow, as the bike ground across the pavement, with just my left hand managing to keep any kind of hold on the bike, I managed to swing myself around it like a gymnast on a gold-medal winning vault-horse routine, snagged Grace’s bar apron with my free hand, and with sheer desperate strength, yank all three back together, right as the beast’s slavering maw snapped shut on empty air where Grace’s head had been just milliseconds before. Through pure accident of positioning, my toes raked across it’s eyes as my leg swung around and I slammed them back down on the pegs, jammed the throttle all the way open, even as Grace somehow managed to complete the circle I’d pulled her in, ending by straddling my hips, arms and hair akimbo while we slid sideways, fortunately tires first. 

Grace’s eyes were wider than a kid who opened their eyes to Disneyland on a Christmas morning as she slammed into me, and I used our momentum to get the bike fully upright, only barely escaping a second snap from the beast as it lunged again, trying to tear us apart. 

That near miss, and the sigh of relief I almost let happen, didn’t get a chance to last long. 

Her damn hair was in my face, which at any other time, wouldn’t have been a problem, really, but just at that second, was incredibly, blindingly, distracting. And it might have saved our lives. 

Something hot burned into my shoulder and face as the sound of crashing metal and people yelling slammed into me. Hm, spicy.

“Shit! Watch out! Sorry!” Grace called to the one lady who wasn’t running for the hills as we smashed through her food cart. Can you get third-degree barbecue sauce burns? Food trays, sauces and meat all went flying as we dervished our way right through the middle of her street-side restaurant, sweet and spicy and sticky all at once, all over the ground, and all over me and Grace as well. I couldn’t think of anything more than just keeping everything together and moving forward. Run. The only thought occupying my mind. Just run.

“Hey.”

The softness of her voice is what brought me back to the girl squished up against me and out of the rabbit-instinct flight mode I was in. 

I don’t know why but for some reason, my brain decided that was the perfect moment to notice that I’d never realized how captivating the color brown could be. Grace’s eyes were less than inches from mine, and I froze for a second. Again. 

“I think it’s stopped.”

I glanced back. The beast had been right on top of us when we hit the food cart, but now it was standing there in the middle of the sidewalk, sniffing around for all the world like the biggest, dumbest, glowiest dog you’ve ever seen. OK, a dog that could tear a truck apart like a box of tissues, but still. 

“What the hell is it doing?” 

“Maybe it’s hungry.”

I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud. I’d never seen one of these things just...stop like that. It didn't make sense. 

No time to think of that right now, just enough time to dart down another alley, blocking the beast from view as it sat down to lap up all the spilled barbecued beef at its feet. 

As we weaved and darted through alleys and parking lots, squeezing through sidewalks and darting across small streets, I started to recognize where we were now, and had the barest inkling of a plan besides ‘get away without dying.’

“Whatever that thing is, I think it likes barbecue.”   

Grace’s whispered comment snapped me back to what was right in front of me, the whole reason I was in this kind of mess again in the first place. . 

“Hunh?”

“I think it stopped to eat at the barbecue stand we knocked over. It’s not chasing us anymore- look.”

I tried to check the mirror again, only to find they’d both been ripped off by now, so switched to glancing over my shoulder quickly, and saw no ominous glow behind us, other than the few street lamps on the small boulevard we were going down. 

“Barbecue?” I was still pretty confused. Probably drunk too. But definitely confused. 

Grace’s laugh was carried away on the night like fireworks swept away in a light breeze. “Well, I dunno what the hell that thing was, but I haven’t met anyone yet who wouldn’t drop everything for good barbecue, honey.”

Raising an eyebrow, I laughed, “Well it’s good to see I’m not the only one here who can make wildly ridiculous comments with horrible timing!”

“Funny the things you think about when you should be focusing on other stuff that’s a little more important, hunh? Like right now, all I can think about is a nice rack of ribs.” Grace grew quieter as her head sank back down on to my shoulder. “Where we headed, sugar?”

“Somewhere close. Safe. I think.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The old loft was just as dank and dirty and run down on the inside as it looked on the outside. Probably worse. No diamonds in the rough here, that’s for sure. Broken glass scattered on the beat up industrial floor scattered the glow of the streetlight through the mist that filled the space. Definitely not up to my usual standard, but hey, we couldn’t really complain too much.

Throwing an old, discarded, and probably moldy, but definitely more disgusting than I wanted to ever touch again, mover’s blanket over the plate window helped to at least hide a little bit of how gross this place looked. Plus, privacy. A quick scan around and I found a pile of old tarps and a couple skeezy mattresses that I definitely wasn’t going to think about where they’d been or who’d done what on them for how long. It’d have to do. A dirty mattress was a small price to pay for still being alive.

"It's not the Four Seasons, but it'll do for now. It's kinda cold- I don't think the building even has heat, but I think we can keep warm enough to make it through the rest of tonight at least."

Grace flopped down heavily on the mattress, exhausted, shoulders slumped, staring vacantly at the floor.

"That was...was that...I don't even know where to start. My brain's been turned to oatmeal. What…? What happened? What in the name of all fucks just happened?"

“Yeah, there’s kind of a lot to unpack here isn’t there?” I just crumpled down into one of the old blankets like a sock puppet being dropped into its nest. “I’m not even sure where to begin.”

“Ya think? Like one minute, I’m trying to mind my business, working my shift at the bar, wondering whether I’m going to have to give another statement to the cops after another bar fight breaks out, and the next I’m getting tossed around like a hot sweet-potato, almost get eaten by a glowing, walking catfish that got beaten a little too hard with the ugly stick, get covered in barbecue sauce, do-si-doed by a goddamn motorcycle ninja, only to wind up in some place that looks like it was lifted straight out of Zillow for Crackheads!”

A snort of wry, tired amusement escaped me. “Yeah, I guess it really does look that bad here. I mean, I’m surprised this place is even still standing after all this time, but you’re right, it definitely looks a bit sketchy.”

“Way to avoid the point, hun.”

“Yeah, I know.” Not sure why, but she kept making me nervous, and the way she was sort of frowning while pinning me down with those sparkling coffee eyes definitely wasn’t helping. Probably just wasn’t used to people making eye contact. Which was the whole reason I was in this mess to begin with. Another sigh. 

“Alright. I’ll explain as much as I can. You deserve that much.”

Grace flopped down on the edge of the mattress, chin propped in her hands for all the world like a kid during goddamn story time. How the hell was I supposed to concentrate when she’s doing things like that? Look away! Only way to save myself for now. 

“OK, here goes. So the thing you saw? Well, it’s a…” I scowled. “It’s a...sunuvabitch, I don’t really know what it’s called. Alright, further back then. The basics. Got it.

“Supernatural things exist. Like you believe that humans are the highest species on this planet and that you’re all alone in the universe, and no one can quite agree on whether there was anything before or after this life or what happens when you die, right? Well, a lot of what most people believe to be myth or religious superstition is actually, um, real.”

So she hasn’t tried to run away just yet. That’s a good sign, right?

“From what I’ve been able to piece together, from the bits I can remember, what you would call ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’ are real places- they’re just not really visible to mortals. Most of the time. ‘Angels’ and ‘demons’ are real things too, but they’re a little bit different than most people tend to think of them from what I’ve seen. 

“I don’t know how many there are, but there’s angels and demons walking around, living just like you and me, every day. The thing is, that mortals like you can’t see them. And that’s where the problem is.”

“Like me?” It wasn’t really a question. Her tone made that clear enough.

“Oh boy. OK, here’s the big one- because with the heaven and hell stuff, most people can be like ‘meh, it’s all superstitious nonsense anyway’ and brush it off. This? Not so much. 

“I’m not human. Or mortal. I can see angels and demons walking around plain as day, just like the ones I’ve met can see me. Mortals...see something else.”

“Like the creep at the bar earlier? Did he see...something else? In you?”

“Yeah. On the outside, at first glance, I look like any other girl. But look closer? Well, you saw what happened. People just aren’t ready to see my real nature.”

“But that didn’t happen to me.” Now Grace was looking a little bit confused- but the kind of confused you get when a teacher is explaining something that you know should make sense, even if you were having a hard time getting it. 

“No, it didn’t. And it took me way too long to pick up on that. I should’ve realized right away. If I had, maybe I could have gotten you out of there faster and that whole ‘sweet potato’ thing wouldn’t have happened.”

“So what should I be seeing? When I look into your eyes I mean?”

“Probably something along the lines of falling through an eternally expanding universe, a sense that you’re tinier than a piece of sand in the scope of the cosmos, that sort of thing. At least, that’s what I’ve heard from a couple of the ones who were able to be slightly coherent afterwards. There haven’t been many of those over the years.”

“Wow. I definitely don’t see that.”

“And that’s the problem, really. I’ve never heard of something like that happening before. I don’t know what it means, or why you can, or anything! All I know is that something is very, very different, and very, very wrong, otherwise that thing wouldn’t have been after us. And right now, I don’t know if what’s wrong is you, or me, or both of us. But we need to find out if we’re going to not be looking over our shoulders for...what did you call it again?”

Grace laughed. A genuine laugh, not weighed down by worry or terror. “A glowing, walking catfish?”

“Ha ha, yeah, that got beaten too many times with the ugly stick!”

Grace sat up suddenly, nodding sharply to herself. “Alright, well, you’re either batshit crazy, or I owe my gran an apology.” Grace was still half chuckling, but looking very intent. 

“Your gran?”

“Yeah, she was super religious, always prayin’, talkin’ and singin’ about god. She must’ve gone to church three times a week! Boy, would she have loved to hear all this.”

“I’ll bet!”

“So, I just wanna make sure I’ve got all the stuff you said- angels are real, and something’s wrong with the fact that I can see your real eyes, and not like, the fires of the Big Bang or something, but you don’t know why that’s a problem or what caused it.. Right?”

“I’d say that about covers it for now, yeah.”

“Alright, I can live with that much for now. I’m clean tuckered out, and you look like you’re about to just fall over any second now. Whaddya say we call it a night?”

“Yeah.” I really could barely keep my eyes open at this point. I guess pretending my motorbike was a juggling pin kind of took it out of me.

Grace popped up, suddenly all business.

“So doesn’t look like this place has a big ol’ tub to dump you in, so we’ll have to settle for a couple of wet wipes. Here, help me get these blankets on to the mattress here. They’re gross, but it’s better than freezing to death.”

“You’re the boss!” Those wet wipes were a pocket-sized blessing, wrapped in foil paper. I’m more of a Chanel and gunpowder type, not so big on the earthy, barbecue scents.

I was starting to stumble a bit as we plopped the discarded blankets down as well as we could in the relative darkness of the loft.

“Probably better to stay dressed with how dirty these blankets are.” Grace frowned as she watched me struggle to pick up one of the heavier blankets a couple of times.

That didn’t even register until much later.

“OK, you, lay down. No more for you tonight. Sleep.”

I couldn’t even argue with her. I just curled up in a ball on the bed, barely aware of Grace pulling a couple of the blankets over me, but I thought I could just make out her arm resting on mine as we both drifted off into the heavy, dreamless sleep that comes when you’ve been pushed to your limits. At least, I kind of hope it was. 

=============================================

Story tag list

@random-with-garlic @a-dinosaurs-left-phgkneecap @flower-in-the-ashes @nixabee @luvnaught @pens-swords-stuff @alice-and-cheshire-cat @humans-are-seriously-weird @flying-f1shsticks @Neil-gaiman @glumshoe @lykanyouko @kaylewiswrites @just-a-bit-paranoid @thatsmybluefondue @Alice-and-Cheshire-cat @violet-galaxies @biggest-gaidiest-patronuses @midnight-spectrum-again @slytherinlovespuff @friendofcybermen @hemi528i @mirbisduschoen @khelladon @walkin-in-the-cosmos

As always, if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list, just shoot me a message and your wish is my command. 

[buckyskorpion]

50 Questions tag!

i was tagged by @buckyland​ so thank you kat i am trying to procrastinate and this is PERFECT

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? pink and purple pastels 

2. Name a food you never ever eat. peanuts bc im allergic lmao

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too warm! im a sweaty bitch

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching a jamie genevieve makeup tutorial and wishing i had her accent because she sounds so sexy... scottish people man

5. What is your favourite candy bar? does this mean chocolate bar or like lolly bar..... chocolate would be a mars bar and lolly bar would be redskins

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? absoLUTELY state of origin game 2 last year baby 

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “oi shit heads do you want a coffee?” i am a stereotype

8. What is your favourite ice cream? COOKIES AND CREAM YES ME AND KAT AGREE

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee

10. Do you like your wallet? i technically dont have one my cards just be loose in my bag 

11. What was the last thing you ate? omg a bacon egg tomato and cheese brekkie roll it was DIVINE

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? yes a bunch of sleep singlets, shorts, fuzzy socks, and a jumper

13. The last sporting event you watched? the last nrl game the dragons played before the season got cancelled

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? sweet and salty baby

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my boss because i left my bag at work which has my nintendo ds in it and i wanna play animal crossing (dont ask why it was in my bag) 

16. Ever go camping? YES i literally camped overnight in my backyard last night and i camp every year when i go to splendour with my mates (big music festival in byron bay) 

17. Do you take vitamins? no and i should because im iron deficient lmao

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? oh bitch since i turned 18 and could legally say no to my crazy catholic parents i havent been to a sunday mass since. i do go for big events tho like lent, easter, christmas, etc. 

19. Do you have a tan? big no

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? this is hard but i would say pizza just because ive been to the hospital 3 times eating chinese food bc of sneaky peanuts and pizza has never done me wrong like that

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? if its with alcohol, yes. if its not, straight from the bottle baby

22. What color socks do you usually wear? black or pink. i only have Useful socks which are black and one pair of Fun socks which are pink 

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? um every time i drive sorry popo

24. What terrifies you? being unremarkable. being forgotten. being left.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my coffee, paw paw cream, my airpods, my scrunchie collection, my lamp, my meds, and my sunglasses (my bedside table is a mess) 

26. What chore do you hate most? dusting 

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? nothing.... i am australian this just be my life hahaha

28. What’s your favorite soda? soda is such a funny word to me but anyway my favourite is sprite

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive? depends, mostly drive thru and eat in the carpark vibes tho

30. What is your favourite number? 4 or 14

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? my sister and her boyfriend

32. Favourite cut of beef? i hate red meat but i will eat it in spaghetti bolognese so i guess mince

33. Last song you listened to? number one fan by MUNA - its a BOP

34. Last book you read? in the middle of reading killing commentadore by haruki murikami as i have been for the whole of 2020 lmao

35. Favourite day of the week? friday 

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? no absolutely not my brain hurts just thinking about it

37. How do you like your coffee? double shot espresso with almond milk or double shot espresso just black 

38. Favourite pair of shoes? my doc martens because im ~quirky

39. The time you normally get up? during normal time i was waking up at 7:30 but now its anywhere between 9-12 lmao

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets absolutely 

41. How many blankets on your bed? three

42. Describe your kitchen plates. one full set of white ones, one full set of those blue ceramic looking ones, one set of fancy white ones with embellishment, one set from ikea that im allowed to use because i smash shit

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment? just did the washing up and loaded the dishwasher from lunch, so spotless because i have issues with dirty sinks lmao. coffee machine is pride of place, and the light above the stove stopped working last night so its kinda dark

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? t e q u i l a!!!!! or a pinot grigio

45. Do you play cards? hmm i play drinking games haha not really cards tho unless its with my family

46. What colour is your car? silver

47. Can you change a tire? yes because once i was taking an exit off the motorway at 110km/h and something fell off truck which i didnt see so i drove over it and ripped giant holes in both tires on the right side of my car and almost DIED lmao 

48. Your favourite state? state of being? asleep. state in australia?? nsw dUH. state in america?? i pretend i do not see

49. Favourite job you’ve had? my job i have now! disability carer, i love the girl i care for with my whole heart and i would die for her

50. How did you get your biggest scar? i have the stupidest scars ever, my biggest scar is probably the big ones on my knees from when i was running away from this girl on camp who locked me out of our shared room and i fell over and cut my knees and hands up sooooo bad lmao

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTERS 10 + 11

we had a week of peace and now we’re gonna get annihilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue how long this liveblog may end up but hell and high water i’m combining them both

she tore the jade pendant from her neck and flung it into the darkness.

let’s give a warm welcome, to sadness,

i’m very excited for all-new cinder content hhhhhhh if u havent gathered by now I Love This Bitch and I Love Her Many Problems so im thankful for this gift 😞

Cinder was a ruin, her pride carved and served like slabs of meat.

i can FEEL diesel n kc rly patting themselves on the back for every bit of wet meat they can toss at me!!!!!!!!!! U HEAR THAT I CAN FEEL U!!!!!!!!!!! but also i still love this shit w/ all my heart!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GONNA STOP SAYIN IT

She had never looked at Glynda’s files.

im so sorry cinder baby but that whole thing? is still HILARIOUS oh my GOD i cannot believe you fucked up that badly. u shoved yr entire head into a beartrap. u absolutely crapped yr pants on that one. yr gonna be thinking abt that on yr deathbed,

/looks at the chapter title again

hhhhhhhh im. so pumped. its gonna be hard to talk abt most of this w/o doing a million fingerguns a minute but i’m gonna try my best

Cinder approached the mirror and touched its silvered face with black-tipped claws,

I SAID IM GONNA TRY MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was iron barbs beneath the nail bed, glowing coals underfoot, the singular capacity to do harm. She was a beast, armed with fang and claw and a deep, dark void where her compassion should have laid, and she was dressed for dinner.

HHHHHH god YES THIS IS THE CINDER IM THIRSTY FOR............ i literally cannot say anything that isnt a massive 👈😎👈 but AAAAAAA

like im reading thru this and i cant cherry-pick lines this whole bit? is SO GOOD...  kc n diesel are Yet Again obliterating me w/ their mastery of the narrative style of offal hunt and i just love all of this i rly wish i could explain how offal hunt is EXACTLY MY BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F U C K

The final touch on her mastercraft disaster: the four sawed-off horn stumps which grew among her silver-streaked hair.

HOOOO B O I i am. Losin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER HORNS.......... CINDR...............

Wretchedly, she wondered: did Glynda even respect her now?

any other villain: my plan didnt work and im mad >:( cinder fall: my plan didnt work and now im mad but also mostly sad :(

CINDER’S TRYING HER BEST GOD.......... i literally hate how the remaster has made her So Soft, Actually... I BELIEVE IN U CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YR BEST

Every part of her was hot and hollow. She was sick with loathing.

i LOVE HER.... CINDER I HOPE U KNO THAT YR LOVED... god tho i dont like how SAD I AM RN... cinder’s so small and the world is so big and wants 2 Shit On Her blease

honestly like. im rly- LOOK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. this is why im rly lovin the new cinder content because in the first version we only got glimpses of her internal machinations and now we’re in full-blown Always Sad territory and everything is suffering :)

She blinked. Her double did not.

‘well’, thought murphy. ‘that’s terrifying.’

she’d only survived thanks to a keen instinct for danger, cultivated during her tenuous teenage years.

i NEED. I NEED. CINDER BACKSTORY. all these lil nuggets dont constitute a meal! I WANT A BIG MAC AND FRIES. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS BABY DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also again. the body horror of offal hunt? peak content. Im Lovin It

its getting harder to divine what is and what is not a 👈😎👈 because we got bits sprinkled around and theres only rly a spoiler potential if u glue em all together so im still being extra careful and the answer is blared in everyones faces so this whole kondor scene will go uncommented unless some Bullshit Happens which it will, so,

When she had become so invested in Glynda’s approval? When had a desire to be recognized as something inhuman, something ferocious, something black and terrible and capable of keeping up with Glynda Fucking Goodwitch turned into this?

oh! oh! i have the answer! i do! i know the answer! it’s you a lesbian,

The spectres of her youth haunted this city, owl-eyed children and fox-eared teens. They’d been a second sort of family, the only kind she’d had within these walls, and she’d wondered what had become of them in the past decades, but…

It was too sentimental, and she wasn’t meant to be a creature of sentiment.

oh boy okay wow

okay so actually this bit made me cry??? fuck OFF im losing it!!!!!!!! LET HER BE SENTIMENTAL!!!! LET HER HAVE PPL TO CARE ABT!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY CRYING IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

She would go barefoot from this point on, her heels clutched at her side. When she left the hotel room to steal into the night, she promised herself not to look back.

im sorry im just. so sad rn. i havent cried over a fic in YEARS and we still have another chapter ago i hate this SO MUCH..............

here comes chapter 11 

if i cry even once more im going to stab!!!!!! im not sure what BUT ILL STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even without his wings, the Manticore would easily have been twice the size of any of the other Grimm, far outstripping them in sheer bulk.

HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATI HATI HATI

holy shit we actually get to see him this time!!!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO SEE THIS LEGENDARY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHONCC,

also hes a manticore now which is, Radical, may i just say, and just a little bit sexy,

The effortless grace in each move betrayed power most Grimm would not live to achieve. Once he stood, he had to dip his head low to meet her eye to eye. His canines were the length of her forearm.

if u werent here for the remaster? we never even SAW hati but now hes here, hes Big, and rly thats all that matters,

Like a child who’d been allowed to lie and lie until at last they’d strangled themself in the web they’d spun, Cinder couldn’t speak. Could only wait on his verdict.

every single one of cinder’s inherent themes is killing me and this business w/ family? stop. im dying. this is rude

The scant space between them popped and cracked like an sparking flame, warm and effervescent, and this time, Cinder lingered, hugging Hati close.

IF I CRY ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U ASSHOLES MAKE ME CRY ONCE MORE I WILL DOXX YOU,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah im loving this content i rly dont have words for it dhjfgsdfgjh i just, rly like the words, and the order theyre in, and i honestly keep forgetting to liveblog it cause i just wanna READ EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tempting as it was—as it always had been, ever since she’d left the relative safety of the wastes and learned what happened to scraggly-limbed teens with horns and fangs and gleaming eyes—

with every chapter i desperately have 2 kno more abt baby cinder i HAVE to know i am so. UNBEARABLY CURIOUS... baby cinder what happened... what happened 2 u....

A lantern’s glow warmed her, bleeding into the darkness leeching at them both. It was a gentle gold across her skin, and like an answering signal from a distant outpost, Cinder saw a flush of light through the dark fur lining Hati’s throat, as though flames licked at his insides.

i forgot. that cinder glows like that when she feels Loved or full of pride and you know what i dont like these chapters. they were made to hurt me and i Dont Like That (im mclovin it)

From the safety of Hati’s neck, she found it easier—after all this time, he was still her bastion.

WHEN YOU REALISE? THAT YR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?? STOP,

For a regular person, the machine would be able to draw out short bursts of power, the likes of which no Semblance could ever channel. The taxation would eventually destroy the soul so deeply, so thoroughly, as to leave it empty for good.

For a Witch? For—

the fact. she cut herself off before she could think ‘for glynda’. has me on the FLOOR. this bit is just So Much i dont like it

Glynda Goodwitch would not abandon this hunt. Cinder knew it, had read it from her palms like an open book—Glynda Goodwitch did not know how to stop. If it had been anyone else on Remnant, they might never return, might never pull themselves back into action after today—but Glynda did not have a shred of self-preservation.

me, knocking against cinder’s head: u kno for someone w/ so many schemes in yr brain yr pretty dumb and gay, huh,

firstly let’s talk abt cinder’s “””””””””””””””””””self-preservation””””””””””””””””””” instin-- whats that? not found? yes

[Glynda’s] eyes were empty, hungry, insatiable.

i feel like ive read this line before! lets jump back a chapter--

In [Cinder’s] eyes, there was a subtle, endless hunger.

WAKE UP CINDER SHE’S YR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!! THE COFFEE’S READY U CAN SMELL THE BACON FROM HERE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a fluid leap, they were in the air, the ground quickly shrinking beneath them. Pressing her face against his neck to shield herself from the wind, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was to come, trusting Hati to deliver her safely.

that said i ADORE my boy hati is literally the best part of offal hunt kc and diesel do not interact,

He was frozen in horrific anticipation, like watching an imminent tragedy and being absolutely helpless to stop it. Like all the tension was mixed with grief and hopeless, futile fear.

when will offal hunt be nice to me. when will any of these characters get to be happy. hello. im full of sadness.

The sound was like a saw working back and forth, but resonating inside her head, rattling every tooth in her jaw, deafening to her ears.

im literally gritting my teeth at this i can hear it in my own head and its Very Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay god i can barely handle to quote anything more this bit is hurting ME so lets swiftly move on before I Die

Cinder closed her weary eyes, sinking into sleep like a shallow grave.

BE NICE TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE TO HER JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU,

They only knew death, only ever sought death; fangs and claws slicked with blood, magic rending meat and marrow apart, and everywhere that choking, scalding heat, spilled blood like magma, like the core of a planet.

hmm... that seems like a 👈😎👈 ~reference~

They were all alert, ears pricked, hackles raised like Hati’s. They all fixed on the same spot, somewhere beyond the darkness of the cave opening, and though she could barely think, she knew:

She was out of time. The Witch was here.

oh no.

okay so THATS CHAPTERS 10 AND 11! i only cried ONCE and u kno what thats. a Victory. these two chapters were VERY GOOD i rly loved em and i can tell new readers r gonna have a blast w/ this shit!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile i, a veteran reader, am full of peril,

terrible.

[maggyme13]

I just want to be like you

AN: This is my entry for @caplansteverogers Disney Challenge. I had the Song Prompt of “I want to be like you”-Jungle book. I hope I made it justice and you like it.

(y/n) is working for the Avengers. She didnt want to bother the others and so she got in a bit of trouble. And all of that because she just wanted to be a bit like Natashe (sorry, i suck at summaries)

FRIDAY

Thoughts

Natasha x Reader

Wordcount: around 3000

Warnings: nope :)

Masterlist

One year. That was the amount of time you had been working for the Avengers-Initiative. Not as one of the superheroes, a medic or a spy (you know the interesting kind of jobs)- no- you were responsible to stand in front of the press and answer questions, give conferences or schedule interviews with the members of the team.  Given that fact, you spend most of your time at the compound, gathering information to give out to the public, scheduling an autograph-session or the interviews with magazines. Sometimes you felt more like a manager or PA than a public agent.

Payment was good and because you lived at the compound (with free food an meals all day) you were able to save most of it and because of your heavy schedule, you had next to no time to even be able to spend it. Often times you had thought about getting a pet (you really loved dogs), but with how crazy your schedule could be, you didn’t want to stress it out or leave it for days at once with another person taking care of it.

Tony had bought a huge saltwater-fish tank for the lobby where the press or guests would be waiting and you just sat there at times and relaxes watching the hundreds of fish swimming around. At one point he had joked about getting sharks, to scare people they needed to question, but his wife Pepper Potts and Captain America himself had parted him from that plan. Though you had the feeling the plan wasn’t entirely of the table, because more than once you had seen the ex-Russian spy Natasha Romanov (also known as Black Widow), the ex-Hydra Agent Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes (aka THE Winter Soldier), Clint Barton (the famous Hawkeye) and Iron Man himself sticking their heads together near the tank and discussing things like space, how to lower someone down the easiest and safest way and if human excrements would be harmful to those dangerous animals. They had always stop talking though when they noticed you being close and you, the good employee you were, had always acted like you hadn´t heard anything at all.

Secretly you imagined having that tank whenever you had a stressful day with press or idiotic people harassing you when they thought they could get close to the Avengers through you. You then would imagine them hanging over said tank or swimming with the sharks. In reality you wouldn´t wish anybody to life that fate, anybody but one: Alexander Schwarz, a reporter for the worst magazine in existence, who thought if he kept flirting with you (more like harassing you) you would get him close to the Avengers and he could produce the biggest scandal ever. You hated that man with a passion, he didn’t get the hint and he wouldn’t even get it was it hit into his brain by Hulk with a steel-chair.

The conference you had to attend today was especially exhausting. On the last mission something had gone wrong and a few houses and fields had been destroyed (by the enemy!). Of course, Stark had immediately made sure anybody would get their houses rebuild (better like they were before), the hospital bills would be paid and the farmers that lost their products would get paid generously. As it was usually the case, and usually the press didn’t really care about it. But this time they smelled a scandal coming around and the protesters waiting outside the hotel where the conference was held, treated you like you had been the reason for it happening.

“You look exhausted (y/n). You should tell Tony that you need someone to help you. Or at least accompany you to those meetings so you don’t need to swim with those sharks alone. I can only do as much and stay close, I am of no help with the press.”, Happy piped up from the driver-seat. Even though he was the chef of security for Tony Stark, he often drove you, Pepper, Tony or any Avenger that needed a ride, to your appointments. And he didn’t seem to mind being a driver as well.

“It´s fine Happy. It´s only because of the damage caused during the last mission. That was like a drop of blood in a pool full of sharks. It´s not usually that horrid and stressful. Pepper managed press-conferences AND board-meetings when she was both Starks PA and literally leading Stark-Industries. If she can manage that, I can manage this a few times a year. Neither she nor Natasha would need an assistant.”, you sighted, looking out of the window, where you only were able to see your own image. That late it was already. It was past midnight and you knew you would have to wake up again in only a few hours, for you had promised Natasha to train with her.

“That’s true. Natasha would just scare the shit out of anyone of them with her Russian Assassin Charm and Pepper had a LOT of training being Tony´s PA and I am sure she is as dangerous as Natasha can be. Damn that woman has a look in her repertoire that can kill even an undead. Trust me I was close often enough when Tony got a scolding from her. I wouldn’t want to get on either of their bad sides.”, the man explained with a laugh, you knew he was right.

“But still-“, you sighted, ”Fine. I will at least think about it. Just promise me to not say anything as long as possible. To neither of them, please.”

“Fine. Just don’t work yourself to a breaking-point. If I think you come close I will sing like a bird on your only free morning of the week.”

“Fitting description.”, you laughed, “I promise. Now lets get home. I am tired like hell.”

“I hear you, (y/n).”

______

Ten minutes later you finally entered your room and you fell head first unto your bed, falling asleep at once.

A loud beeping sound scared you to sit up straight and you groaned realizing you had to get up already.

“Friday. Please turn off the alarm.”, you mumbled half asleep.

“As you wish. I advise to get ready. Mrs Romanov is already on her way to your room.”

“Thanks for the heads-up.”

Still more asleep than awake you got dressed in workout-clothes and quickly washed your face with cold water to at least get awaken enough to keep your eyes open. What turned out to be harder than it should be.

You looked somehow decent, when a knock sounded from your door and you went to open it. A very much awaken and enthusiastic looking Natasha greeted you.

“Morn´n Natasha. How ´r you?”, you mumbled with sticky eyes.

“Better than you it seems. You alright?”, he asked worriedly.

“mhm? Mhmm!. The confer´nce jus´ took longer than usu´l.”, you mumbled, supressing a yawn.

“You want to do this another day? I won´t be mad. You look like you need the few hours of extra sleep. Don´t exert yourself. I don’t want you to get hurt you know?”, she stated, with a cocked eyebrow.

“It´s fine. I need to get other stuff ready, so I would have to stand up soon either way. Tis way I will do som´thin´ for my health.”, you yawned before stumbling past the assassin and towards the elevators, with her following suit, a worried look on her face.

___

Entering the gym, you noticed that the supersoliders were already there, as well as Falcon and a sleeping Archer. Neither of them noticed you at first and you walked towards one of the bikes to get warm. Usually you would use the treadmill, but with how tired you were the bikes were less of a safety hazard for yourself. Would you fell asleep, you hoped you would just slump down onto the handlebars and not head first one the track and then down the floor like it would be the case with the treadmill.

Your heart sprung out of your chest after only a few minutes, that was how tired you and your body were and you must have fallen asleep for a second, because the next thing you knew were Clint clapping you onto your shoulder, waking you up with a start. Wasn’t it for his hand on your shoulder, you would have fallen off the bike.

“Morning (y/n). sorry I didn’t want to startle you. Didn’t thought you would be that much in thought.”, he apologised, “How come you are here this early? Usually you are here in the evening.”

“Promised Natasha to train with her.”, you answered, trying to look as awaken as possible.

“Yeah, Nat is an early riser.”, he laughed, sending someone behind you a look and you knew it was meant for Natasha from the kind of look it was. You had noticed pretty early those two had some kind of silent communication going on.

“True. Conference was longer than usual last night on top of that.”, you explained, and the man next to you looked like he understood what was going on.

“When did you came in?”, he asked, sounding as worried as Natasha had been before.

“No idea.”, you sighted.

“FRIDAY, when did (y/n) return from press last night?”, the man asked as once, catching the attention of everyone else around.

“She and Mr Happy returned at 2:23 am.”

“That was just three hours ago. Did you get any sleep?”, he exclaimed with widen eyes.

“Yeah.”, you mumbled, ashamed of being caught.

“I mean except the twenty minutes on this bike.”, he declared with a pointed look.

Shit. I slept twenty minutes on this bike. Fuck.

“Yeah, I fell asleep as soon as I hit the sack-I didn’t even change into my PJs.”, you admitted, a blush creeping onto your face, feeling every attending Avenger´s eyes on you.

“That’s not a lot of sleep. You are over exerting yourself.”, the Captain sighted and scolded at the same time.

“Its alright-“, you started to assure them, but were interrupted by him again. “No, its not. You just fell asleep riding an exercise bicycle. That´s not usual and right!”

“Usually its not that bad.”, you tried to reason, but a stare form him made you shut up at once.

“You will go back to your room and I will tell Tony you have the day off. NO arguments.”, he ordered in his Captain America voice and you sighted. You knew he was right, but you didn’t want to look weak or helpless and, in your mind, you just looked both.

“Yes, Sir.”, you answered, not mocking but defeated and climbed off the bike, only to stumble into the Archer, who caught you with ease, “Sorry.”

“No worries. But do as he said, you look like a walking dead with how pale you are. Its ain´t healthy.”, he whispered in your ear.

“I will see her to her room.”, the man with the metal arm stated from behind you and you had the feeling there was more to it than just making sure you don’t fall asleep mid-step.

“Do that Buck. Natasha, we have training to do. And (y/n), I don’t want to see you out of your bed unless you go to the bathroom or to eat and drink something. Not unless you are fully rested I will have FRIDAY have an eye on you.”, and with that he and Natasha walked away to spar.

“Come on. Or do I need to carry you?”, your chaperone winked and you slowly stumble towards the elevators, him following suit.

“You know, I am not used to much sleep and walk around the compound at night, right?”, he began as soon as the doors of the elevator had closed.

Where is he going with this?

“I noticed you are often working until late at night doing schedules and preparing for press-conferences or whatever you do. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you being exhausted whenever a mission goes public or the flowers you want to dumb in the bin, only to decorate the common area with them. More than once I saw you asleep at your desk and missing meals because a statement had to be finished or things like that.”, he stated in a neutral tone.

“It´s not that often.”, you mumbled, ashamed that you had been caught. You had tried to sneak around at night, so no one would notice.

“Maybe not, but it is often enough I would define it as regular and common. You need to stop that.”, he almost ordered you, worry seeping into his voice.

“Yeah- can you do me a favour please? I am not allowed to leave my room, like you heard, and I am pretty sure there will be a bouquet of flowers be delivered this morning and- can you just get rid of it without throwing it away?”, you yawned, your eyes closing on your own accord.

“You going to tell me who is sending them?”, the man asked, guiding you out of the elevator and towards your room.

“Not now- too tired- maybe later.”, you mumbled.

“Fine. For now, sleep.”, he said, nodding towards your bed, “If FRIDAY tells me you aren’t in your PJs and then bed within 5 minutes I will make you. Understood?”

“Yeah. See you whenever I wake up again.”, you said, your eyes already closing again, and you heard the door close behind you. You knew he would keep his word and within a minute you laid in your bed, fast asleep.

___

The sun was already setting again, when you finally exited your room on the hunt for something to eat, your target was the fresh pizza you smelled coming from the common area´s kitchen. And your stomach rumbled so loud, you were sure half the compound would hear you coming closer.

“Look what the Pizza drew out of its cave.”, your bosses voice declared your arrival, “Fun aside. Heard Capsickle had to send you in time-out because you nearly killed yourself overdoing. How are you feeling?”

“Awake, still a bit tired, but at least I can open my eyes now. I will finish the work as soon as possible.”, you stated with an unsure smile, already dreading the hundreds of mails you would have to answer about the last press-conference.

“Not happening. FRIDAY already answered any Email you received today and will do so the next week and there won´t be any schedule to uphold for the next two weeks and you are on leave for the next three weeks. No arguments.”, He stated- no ordered you, “But enough of work-stuff. Eat and enjoy the evening before Capsickle or Pepper are going to rip me a new one.”

“Ok.”

“So, tell me. Why didn’t you tell me to fuck of this morning?”, the female Assassin scolded you, biting down on her own piece of pizza.

“Like anyone would ever tell you to ´fuck off´ and stay alive.”, you scoffed, “But seriously, I thought I would be able to make it. You never look exhausted.”

“Because I am used to only a few hours of sleep each night since I am a little girl. And trust me, I am exhausted a lot, especially when I come back after missions.”, she explained.

“It´s not only the sleep. The press-conference was tiring. Some journalist wanted to see the world burn, others treated me like I blew up that house, and then there is Schwarz- Damn I hate that guy.”, you sighted, hoping at once she hadn’t heard you. But of course, she did.

“Hold on. What are you talking about and who is Schwarz. Happy never mentioned anything.”

“Because I asked him not to.”, you groaned, “I didn’t want to bother you all with it and I thought I am able to deal with it on my own.”

“But why? And that still doesn’t explain who Schwarz is.”

“You wouldn’t need help of others, or Pepper.”, you mumbled ashamed, “And Schwarz is a journalist that doesn’t get the hint and thought he can woo me to give him intel.”

“First of all: Of course I need help of others, as does Pepper. And second: How doesn’t he get the hint?”, the Russian red-head almost growled.

“He keeps sending me flowers and asks me out for dinner whenever he can. No matter how often I decline he won´t stop. I just want to be like you.”

“For fucks sake (y/n)-“, she sighted,”- We will have a serious talk one day. And I will make damn sure that sucker gets the hint, maybe even Bucky will help, and then I will make sure your work-schedule gets lessened. None of us wants to see you work to death.”

Relieved (and knowing you wouldn’t have a say in this either way) you nodded, before eating your pizza in piece.   And just like the Assassin had promised (or threatened), the woman taught you to a few tricks and she and Bucky made sure you wouldn’t have to bother with the Journalist again. You had no idea how they did it, but the last thing you heard of him was an apology letter and that’s it. You didn’t mind though. Your work-schedule was remade and from that time on, FRIDAY was responsible to schedule Interviews and other dates and meetings, while you only had to step in front of the press, though now whenever one of the others had time, they would keep you company.

AN 2.0:

Haya whoever read this oneshot :) I hope you liked what I wrote for the Writingchallege and that I did the prompt justice. Let me know! (I am not sure if I did- but that’s it up to you)

As always feel free to reblog, comment and like it.

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[15001700tt]

Mix And Match

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6.

Part 3

After the wedding, i moved to his castle since it was more convenient. Since then i became more acquainted with his home. Occasionally i do get lost but one of his brothers or mates are always around and they help me find my way back.

It was the day where my cousins and I get to meet the remaining two guys. They have been so involved in the war that they had no time to come by. But it was understandable it was getting worse each day, and i could sense it brewing without werewolf heightened senses.

Jong In was also getting restless each night having to wake at the crack of dawn to finish some planning. The dark circles under his eyes get deeper as the days go on i am surprised he hasnt passed out. I brought it up to his attention but he always dismisses it and says hell catch up on sleep later. I dont believe him. But i cant do anything because he wont let me.

The warwas getting on my nerves and i was ready to fly over there and end the war myself. Today is much needed as anyone can see, i am very tense and grumpy and the girls havent had time to talk to me and are getting whisked away by their parents for possible suitors back at home. Hyun Jin is devastated that she doesnt get to fall in love, and Ji Mi just refuses to marry a complete stranger.

As Jong In sat next to as we waited for our guests his head lolled to the side until it slumped against my shoulder. His deep breaths confirmed that he fell asleep. I rolled my eyes before moving him to lay against my lap for more comfort on his part since this is most likely the only nap he will get today or maybe for the next week.

The first one to arrive is Hyun Jin, she came in a grim expression. Her eyes settled on our position before her face lit up ad she awed at out ‘cuteness’

“He couldnt stay awake” i excused. She shook her at us before muttering, “i wouldnt either if i had a war in my backyard”

“Well how are you doing with the influx of suitors?” i asked worriedly.

“Facing an army of vampires doesnt seem that bad anymore” she groaned before she came and sat next to, i started running my hand through her hair while keeping one in Jong In’s.

“I know hun, i wish it was easier”

“Ji Mi literally just chased away the last one but my guy was more sticky that the last” she huffed in annoyance. The doors opened one more time while Hyun Jin was mid sentence, “and the worst thing is he wasnt even trying to be gentle, he was pushing me around and being a total dick. And mid way through he tried to touch me, i almost thre-” a growl erupted from the figure standing by the door.

That seemed to wake Jong In up and grab hold of me. I caressed his face to show him that i was fine, but clearly the man at the door wasnt.

“Baekhyun” Jong In’s voice rang clear in the room, while Hyun Jin’s was more a breathy sigh. I could tell the days events took a toll on her from the way her face looked, all pale and no light that usually shines.

In an instant Baekhyun was next Hyun Jin and looking intently into her eyes, eyes slightly red, before another snarl rippled from his throat scaring Hyun Jin a little bit that she jumped.

“Who dared to touch you?” that seemed to snap Jong In’s haze and immediately he came and restricted Baekhyun and whispered in his ear. He seemed calmed a bit, he closed his eyes before opening them to a golden hue in them, then finally their normal shade.

I knew what this meant, i couldn't help the small smile that creeped onto my lips, a small gasp escaping my lips when JongIn flopped down on my lap again.

“You Are comfortable.” his only excuse.

“Honey we have guests” i told him

“it s fine, those guests are going to get really comfortable, so should we” he mumbled against my legs. I chuckled, i looked up to see that Hyun Jin had moved up from her seat and was standing in front the calm man who had a gentle smile on his face.

I listened in to their conversation when i couldn't help my curiosity, no remorse felt because she spied on my first day of courting.

“I am guessing youre Yong Sang’s cousin” he smiled cheerfully, “i am Byun Baekhyun, One of Jong In’s closest friends and knights” he introduced.

“You are correct, i am Song Hyun Jin” she curtseyed at him while batting her eyelashes at him innocently. Somehow that lead to them furiously hugging, my small gasp caused Jong In to chuckle.

“They went straight to the point didn't they?”

“You should be sleeping” i playfully snapped at him.

“Dont you think Ji Mi and Kyungsoo are taking too much time to get here?” he questioned looking at the slightly ajar door.

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun’s voice cut through the thick haze that surrounded me and Hyun Jin.

“I mean that i can both their footsteps really close but they havent ever met each other and i want to see that” he grabbed my hand and pulled me off the chair and dragged me soundlessly towards the open door. Hyun Jin following behind me and Baekhyun at the end. As we rounded the corner we saw the pair just making eye contact.

3rd POV

Kyungsoo’s eyes flashed gold before turning normal brown once again, he finally found her, whoever she is. Although he was pretty good at guessing, she’s Yong Sang’s cousin, if she was heading this way and he had never seen her before. He needed confirmation thought, he feels as if hes grasping at thin straws.

“I uh i am Do Kyungsoo, head knight” he introduced awkwardly before letting a charing smile grace his lips.

“Song Ji Mi at your service” she responded with a soft voice. She was drained from the events of today, if she could just go to her bed and sleep she was sure she can deal with it tomorrow. She was exhausted to no point and this attractive knight wasnt helping her poor brain.

Of course she knew who he was, she saw his pictures everywhere and he was also the reason for her embarrassment in Yong Sang’s wedding. Her barely functioning brain had successfully led her down the right corridor but she still doubted.

“uhm-I-I do not know if i am going the right direction to the room, would please help me?” she asked with grace even she couldn't believe she mustered.

“I dont think thats a good idea,” he paused before getting closer to her whispering, “theyre eavesdropping at the end of the hall.” her eyes widened in shock.

“I suggest we go to the kitchen because you look like you could use a meal.” he offered.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she couldn't help but snap. “You are my mate” those simple words seemed to turn her whole world upside down, she stumbled back a step. He caught her.

“Are you ok?? You need to sit down” he held her up as he led her to the kitchen. Once they arrived he sat her down at the table. And rolled up his sleeves of the casual attire he wore.

“Wanna tell me about your day as i make you a delicious meal?” he suggested playfully, causing a small smile to bloom on her exhausted face.

“I chased away five suitors today, the last one was stubborn until i punched him right in the face, then he almost hit me,” she in took a breath to calm her frantic beating heart, also hearing a small growl leave his body frame. “Which would be bad for him because i am not trained like an assassin for nothing.” she continued causing Kyungsoo to turn his head and eyebrow raised.

“What? The king and queen thought it would be a good idea to give us some training if we chased away the guard they assigned us” she shrugged.

As time flew, so did the smell of whatever Kyungsoo was cooking because to her it smelled heavenly and mouth watering. He placed the dish in front of and sat down opposite of her so he could see her face better. Unlike the tired expression she held on their way here, now she looked like she was on cloud 9.

“I am glad you think it smells good but shouldn't you taste it first?” he smirked as she bobbed her head. She grabbed her eating utensil and put some of the dish in her mouth, her reaction almost immediate. He grinned as she moaned and grabbed another bite.

“Interesting” he murmured catching her attention, “my cooking won you over not my good looks which hurts my ego a little but but i'll get over it.” he stated with a small smirk.

“If you weren’t such a good cook I’d cut off your hands” she bashfully said.

“Gruesome, i feel bad for the suitors but then again, they didn't know better” he said with fake remorse, causing Ji Mi to roll her eyes at his tactics

“Do you know any better?” she questioned playfully, he scoffed and finally ate some of the food he prepared, “of course i wouldnt be your mate if i didnt”

“Doesnt mean you dont have to win me over” she tsked at his confidence.

“Thought i already did with my cooking” he countered.

“Maybe your fighting skills” she stated

“I am sure i can teach you something” he teased.

“Sure you can” she rolled her eyes, that seemed full of light now. She feels as though she can do this forever.

[wavbleu]

Noen eubanks: Friends with a benefit

"I dont know if my mom will let me come over Noen." I say into my phone then plopping onto my cushioned bed, "Just ask, We known each other for years and she even lets me over for dinner, its worth a shot.","And if she says no ill just kidnap you and hold you for ransom."

You chuckle uncomfortably at the very dark joke . you bit your finger nails trying to plan out the conversation ahead of time, what to say, what to do and her likely responses.

I let out a deep sigh before i told him that i was gonna go tell my mom the crazy idea of having a sleepover with a boy, "Bye dork" He'd say before quickly hanging up. I sat my phone down on my dresser and took another long and very deep sigh.

One part of me was like "she will most definitely say no! Are you stupid!" but a very small portion of me was hopeful, i know you may be thinking "Its not that big of a deal" but it actually is, I've been wanting to spend more time with Noen ever since he moved states to go to school, this is the only time he's gonna be in state for the year, this is my only chance to have him in my arms again.

I stayed on my bed, looking up at the rotating ceiling fan, watching it continuously spin counterclockwise, trying to gather the courage to ask my strict catholic over protective mother if i could spend the night at a boys house.

___________________________________

"Hey mom.." Id say walking into my moms very zen bedroom, candles lit and dream catchers hanging. She seemed to be finishing up a prayer.

She got up off her knees, dusting herself off then turned her attention towards me, I felt sick, my throat became lump, my palms grew sweaty and oily, i began fiddling with my fingers in an attempt to calm myself.

I was either gonna be rejected and beat with a wooden spoon or she would empathize and let me go.

Everything i had planned in my head went out the window, it felt like i forgot english.

"Uhh.." I say hesitantly, then muffled "can i go sleep over at Noens house?" My mom squinted her eyes trying to make out what i just said. "What did you say sweetie, stop mumbling."

I then repeated myself in a slightly higher tone "Can i sleepover at Noens house?" , "Sweetie your gonna have to speak up-" cutting her off,  "Can i sleep over at NOENS house."

The room went dead silent, i felt like throwing up, instant regret formed on my face.

well great.

"Sure i dont see why not." She shrugged.

My eyes widened, i was dazed on how she agreed with no strings attached. or so i thought.

"You have to call me every 2 hours, and call me before you go to sleep. Don't sleep in the same bed, doors should remain open, no dirty music no scary movies, you must be a foot apart at all times. No drinking or smoking, no leaving his house"

My mouth hung open at the dumb rules she gave, "Mom, im literally 18 years old." ,"Why are you treating me like a child!", "Its fine you don't have to go." she says leaving the room, heading towards the kitchen, i followed behind her trying to convince her to let me go with less restrictions.

I quickly grabbed her arm making her look at me, I give her a small sob story for some empathy points. "Please mom this is the last time i get to see him for the rest of the year, i want to enjoy this." I bit my lip as the room went silent again, i cross my finger behind my back hopeful.

"Hm..." she sat and thought for a bit, my eyes filled with hope and optimism, "Please say yes" Repeated in my head like a broken tape recorder.

"no." She says opening the fridge nonchalantly.

_________________________________

I pull up to Noen's house and grab my backpack from the backseat, "Remember the rules." My mom announced, i press my lips together to form a smile to show compliance .

I walked to his front door jittery and excited i was finally gonna see him again!... for the last time.

I turned around to see my mom still staring at me.

I knocked 3 times, then waited for the response, Noen's Mom answered the door and her face brightened when she saw me there waiting.

"Your mom actually said yes?, what a shocker." She chuckled, Ms.Eubanks is a teenager stuck in a mom's body, she understands everything I go through because she grew up the same way.

She kinda hated my mom, she always said she was no fun and very boring, but honestly can i argue? She doesn't let me go to any carnivals or theme parks because shes afraid that "Ill catch a demon." on one of the rides.

Ms.Eubanks stuck her head out to say hi to my mom, out of politeness, my mom honked her horn in response, then signaled her to come over, probably to inform her the crazy and controlling rules she set in place.

I walked into there house, its always so clean because Noen and his mom are extreme neat freaks, its so clean you could probably eat off the floor without having anything in your food.

Noen walked out of the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist, he look startled when he saw me, because he panicked and ran back into the bathroom.

I had sat my bag down besides the door and went inside his room, his room is neat and clean, and its the perfect balance of hot and cold, not too hot to a point where you cant wear a sweater without melting, or to cold making you shiver and throw 10 blankets on to achieve normal body temperature. It was right in the middle.

I laid down on his rather soft bed, beginning to zone out into the ceiling again.

He walked into the room clothed and was blushing lightly, "I didnt know you were gonna come so early.","I cant believe your mom even said yes." He said lying down at the rear end of the bed.

"She gave me so many restrictions." I sighed, realizing i already broke 2 of them.

"What are they?" sitting up onto his knees, i sat up with him.

"We are already breaking a rule." ," I cant be within 1 foot with you or be on the same bed as you." i say looking down, he took two fingers and pushed my chin back up "Its fun to break rules" He would give me cheesy grin.

You stared into each others eyes for few minutes, your cheeks fading into a pale pink. The sexual tension built up like bricks every second you gazed deep into each others eyes. His gaze moved down to your rosy pink lips, to your slim and slender neck, to your narrow shoulders to-

"God your mom is crazy." Noen's mom said opening the door, cutting the silence and the tension, we turned towards her and smiled awkwardly.

"No scary movies? What kinda rule is that." She murmured in complete disgust, "Anyways im going to go run a couple of errands and ill stop for wing-stop and snacks on the way, i didn't have time to prepare since you came earlier than suspected.","No funny business, the condoms are in my drawer" His mom would wink at him then shut the door.

"MOM!" he would say slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry for her" He runs his fingers through his hair, his breath quickening, he's so cute when he's embarrassed.

"I wish my mom was like yours." I spoke joylessly, "I don't even remember the last time my mom actually called me beautiful." I put my head down again trying to cover the wave of tears that was about to come through my eyeballs.

"Well i think your gorgeous" He said with a soft and friendly smile, hesitant, going in for a light and airy kiss, i was confused and uncomfortable at first but then the kiss began to feel passionate and meaningful. My heart would flutter as the kiss continued to become more compelling and heated.

He came in closer carressing my silky hair tugging it backwards, making my head jerk up in response. He went in slight tongue, our tongues danced to a non-existent song before he pulled away to plaster purplish marks down my neck.

His surprisingly strong grip went from my hair down to my soft stomach, to my hips, placing more soft purple marks all of my neck and chest.

The rules my mom set in place were threw out the window and shat on.

I pulled off my shorts sexually and seductively, leaving me in a black thong, he took a quick second to examine my body, which made him really hard.

I began to straddle my self onto him, rubbing my clothed clit over his hard boner, i let out a soft moan as my pussy became impatient and wet. He grabbed onto my full hips as we both moaned in harmony. He slapped my ass supportively then threw his head back in pleasure; before completely flipping us over.

Noens pov:

___________________________________

She towered over me, a sexy stare like that is dangerous game to play, she slid off my shirt and placed love bites on my pale white skin, turning it blue.

I pushed her head down to my boner , that was desperately wanting to be pleased. She looked up at me with those innocent cute eyes and fluttery lashes.

"It hurts.." I complained playfully, then bit my lip as her hand pulled down my boxers, she seemed nervous, i didn't want to pressure her to do something she didn't want to do.

"Hey you don't have to do it if you don't want to." I empathize, "Its fine." She said with a gulp.

She pulled out my cock, beginning  to slowly stroking it. She had to use two hands because one hand wouldn't fit around it.

i moaned in pleasure as she sucked on my sensitive tip, and stroked the rest my of my dick, Her mouth was to tiny to fit any more.

Every time she attempted to go deeper she would spit up more saliva and gag, tears formed in her eyes and her mascara was messed up and drippy.

She sucked, licked and flicked my dick, considering her being half a virgin shes really good at handling dick.

"sit on it." I erotically say before she took orders , sliding herself on me, she let out a long and soft moan.

She whimpered as she rode up and down onto my dick, "Your to- big" She would complain, "Shut up and take it." Id reply to her whiny self.

"Im gonna go faster, alright ?" I tell her, she nodded in agreement.  i slapped her ass cheeks leaving a bright red hand print then gripped a large chunk.

I started pounding into tight pussy, making her cheeks clap in response, Her slutty screams filled the room, her big titties bounced on my face.

My dick went in-and-out of her at a very speedy  pace, her pussy gripped so tightly around my dick which was beyond pleasurable. I let out rough and sexual moans as i felt myself come closer to my finishing point, "Im gonna cum!" She yelled repeatedly, "Say your a dirty little slut and ill let you finish." I tease, i watched her face go red from embarrassment.

"Say it." I say aggressively, slapping her ass cheek again.

"Im a dirty little slut." She whimpered.

"Fuck yea you are," I repeat over again before i bust deeply inside of her releasing all of my warm liquid into the slut, her legs began to tremble and shake as she hit her finishing point a little to hard.

"Shhh.. calm down." I say comforting her running my fingers through her hair, she let out little breaths and laid her self down on my chest, i kissed her forehead gently to let her know its all over.

"I love you." i quietly whisper into her hair as she she drifted off to sleep.

__________________________________

A/n:

should i write more long chapters or stick to the short ones.. or should i do both?

[enaasteria]

Answered Asks // 3

Consolidating asks as to not spam dashboards. Under the cut!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: March 29th 2018, 3:56:00 pm · 2 days ago wanted to drop by and let you know that i've been listening to 'Fool of Me' by Meshell Ndegeocello for more than a week and it reminds me so much of the heartbreaking moment in chapter 11 when Sehun made the decision to leave Ahri behind. imnotcryingyouare. i hope they become like the song 'Cheek to Cheek' (Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald version) *hinthintwaggleseyebrowswinkwink* hope you have a lovely day <3!

AHHHH REPLIES *-* <3!!! I accept the love you’ve bestowed upon me. I shall violently love you back *SHOOTSHEARTSATYOU* dont worry, I remember the what I wrote in the recs message! I was saying that I’ve been listening to this song ‘Fool of Me’ by Meshell Ndegeocello, which reminded me so much of the end of chapter 11 when Sehun decided to leave Ahri. The heartbreak is so real T_T imnotcryingyouare. I hope they end up being like ‘Cheek to Cheek’ (Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong version)! - ma

OMG SO APPARENTLY I DIDNT DELETE IT. This is how tumblr inept I am. I thought I did. It showed that I did when I was on the computer but apparently I didn’t on mobile. WEIRD. Listening to it now! 

Both of these songs sound so similar. I feel like I’ve heard them before omg. good recs. I really like them.

Fool of Me by Meshell Ndegeocell

Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space... What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside OMG MY HEART IS BREAKING. Why do the lyrics fit so well. Right off with the first few lyrics. I’m crying. YES I AM CRYING. This was almost the same words she thought in the chapter. Was she there only to temporarily fill the void in Sehun’s heart when she felt it was for Jiyul instead. OH NOOOO.

I can't touch you no more Can't touch you any more any more And this relates to Chapter 12 a lot how she wouldn’t really look at him or touch him and this is so sad. THIS WHOLE SONG IS SO SAD but it’s so fitting to that part when he chose Jiyul over her and IT”S GOING INTO MY APT PLAYLIST.

Cheek to Cheek by Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald

THIS WHOLE SONG. Can I just say how cute it is??? This just makes me feel like I missed an opportune moment for Sehun and Ahri to dance together at the wedding??? I kind of made it so that it was Soi and Ahri dancing puahahahha. Technically, I should’ve made Sehun and Ahri dance because he tends to dance when he’s nervous about something.

Sooooo BOOOOO I MISSED THE MOMENT. BUT STILL. It’s ok hahahahah But really. This song. The beat. THE CHEEK TO CHEEK. More like forehead to forehead between the two leads. Thank you so much for the recs!!! I loved them so much and can’t wait to add them to my playlist!!

I read chapter 17 till half past 4 in the morning. I had to sleep because i needed to wake up at 9 for a gym session the next morning. But I have sleep problems so I kept waking up throughout the night and reaching for my phone to reread 17 in my sleep-induced haze and dozing off. I had to fake illness and reschedule my gym session in the end xD. I hope my trainer doesn’t see this. HAHAH even when I was half asleep, I kept thinking that I still had so much to tell you about 17!! - ma

OMG MA. WHY DID U STAY UP SO LATEEEE. NUUUUU. Also since your music anon and the abbrev is MA, I literally scream MAAAAA LOOOOL. AND OMGOSHHHH. Please rest. Please sleeeeeep. Your poor thing. i’m so sorry that the story kept waking you up. But I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and really thank you so much. I really can’t appreciate your messages enough. They make me so HAPPPPPYYYY //runs off screaming while drinking my coffeeeeeeeee//

@sehunsmile​ said to enaasteria: March 30th 2018, 11:42:00 pm · 9 hours ago ENA, ENAAAA!!!! I JUST GOT HOME AND I'M FINALLY GONNA READ CHAPTER 17. I'M SO NOT READY BUT I AM! I KNOW I'M GONNA DIE, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS CHAPTER AND GOD CHAPTER 16 ENDED SO GOOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT BUT I'M EXCITED SO I'M GONNA READ IT NOW! SORRY FOR ALL CAPS I'M JUST TOO EXCITED AHFNJABFKSBFLSKFJDKJDFK

YASSSSS. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF IT AND I DONT MIND CAPS LOCK AT ALLLL. IT just shows me you’re really excited and I’m excited for you to read it. Many apologies for how long it took me to write it but I hope you enjoy it. AHHHH TY FOR LIKING CH 16. I remember being really stressed over it because it was so SLOOOOOOOWWWW but yas yas. Please enjoy 17. Thank you for your patience //hearts u//

@heythereitsmo​ said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 12:12:00 am · 8 hours ago Oh when Sehun tells Ahri the story of the Keepers, I remembered you wrote a piece about it and it was just — beautiful. I cried then and I cried now because it literally took my breath away. Every chapter is so stunning Ena, every word resonates so deeply in my soul. It wasn’t always easy but they’re happy together and in love and I hope on my own stars that someone will love me the way Sehun loves Ahri — even if there are flaws and hurdles. You wrote this fabulously, love. Fantastic job.

YAS!!! You caught the merge of Keepers into Apt. This and Yua x PCY are all other stories I’m working on and I wanted to weave them into apt for continuity. I like having all my stories intertwine in some manner. It’s fun but also makes my brain want to explode when I have to make it flow right LOL. YOU’RE REALLY GUNNA MAKE ME CRY. Thank you so much for reading. I really remember you as one of the readers staying with this fic for so long. i really think it’s been years for you and I’m so grateful for your patience but also all the support you gave me. I wish you all the love and happiness and thank you for loving my characters as much as I do.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 12:26:00 am · 8 hours ago Okay but Sehun getting provoked by ahri’s ‘other men’ amuses me sooooo much THANK U SO MUCH FOR CH 17 I honestly needed some destressing with an overload of fluff (and that thick tension 😉😏) ☺️💕💓😚

I definitely had to throw in Ahri’s other men to lighten up the mood hahaha. JK JK. I just really love jealous sehun?? I think he’s super sweet and it’s not like he’s like the bad kind of jealousy. He’s just irked??? LOOOL. It’s cute when he’s just agitated. I really hope you love the fluff and slow burn for the kiss LOL

@shewantsmeshesgotme​ said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 1:35:00 am · 7 hours ago I. AM. IN. LOVE. NXKELBFKDLFNFNDNNSKDKFNFBI. I CANT EVEN FORM THOUGHTS IM SO BLOODY IN LOVE OH MY GOD ENA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!!?!? You....you are some sort of a genius wizard I can’t even...I’m just broken I love this fucking story so much and YOU I LOVE YOU THANK YOU CHRIST I NEED TO SIT AND STARE AT THE CEILING FOR AN HOUR. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

LORIIIIIIIIIIIIII. THANK YOUUUUU GAHHHH. THANK YOUU SO MUCHHHH. Thank you for your help. Thank you for reading. Thank you for the screams. IM NOT A GENIUS WIZARD. YOU ARE. BUT THANK YOUUUU. Really thank you so much for reading this fic and DONT STARE AT THE CEILING. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. Now that I finished 17, I can get to reading all the fics that are sitting in my backlog and I really want to read all of yours. I really need to read The Boxer. It’s on my to do list foreverrrrrrr. hugss!!!

@yeolieminelli​ said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 2:25:00 am · 6 hours ago HUHUHU. Just finished Ch. 17 😭 It's beautiful. How the each traditional family story just made sense for Ahri and Sehun ❤❤❤ Thank you for writing such a beuatiful chapter for both of them. You are a great writer dear. 😁😁😁 On a side note- I was listening to an instrumental that fit so well for the last part of Sehun's surprise, it felt even more magical. I wish I could share it with you, if I discover how. 😂

YAYYYY!!! I”M SO GLAD U ENJOYED ITTT. RIGHT? I’ve had that ending in my head for 3 years now and it’s finally there. It’s finally written and can I place a pat on my back for it because I thought it was fitting for their story too. Thank you so much for your help on it and thank you for reading. What instrumental?? You can send me the title and I can look it up on YT to add to my Apt Song Rec list!!

ramblingpeaches said to enaasteria: @ramblingpeaches I CANT TAG U WHY March 31st 2018, 3:07:00 am · 5 hours ago that was such a beautiful chapter! so worth the wait- no actually way more than that! you honestly have such a way with words. your writing, your story has made me feel a bunch of emotions and you're just so so talented that i feel like i can't properly express how much i adore your writing and hope this somewhat conveys it haha. thank you for an amazing chapter, definitely made my morning! :) ♡

Thank you so much for this message! I’m so glad you thought it was worth the wait. I’m so sorry it took so long to write but I’m such a slow writer. AND I HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS. AHHHHH //SCREAMS// You’re so kind to me and this is really such a great message because it just makes all the screams worth it. AND NOOO. REALLY. You’ve done so much for me. If you read and send me a message of how you enjoyed the chapter, that really just makes my heart swell. Thank you so much for reading!!!

@yeollieollie said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 3:23:00 am · 5 hours ago Omg my heart that was the cutest thing ever why can’t that happen to meeee amazing!!!

Thank you so much for reading!! Wasn’t it??? It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever written in my entire life and I kind of don’t know what to do with myself anymore LOL.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: March 31st 2018, 5:11:00 am · 3 hours ago hi chap 17 was full of fluff i literally died after reading it 💗 tq for writing such a wonderful story! :) also! how old are sehun and ahri in this story?

ANONNN. Did you know I screamed a lot while writing this chapter. I felt so bad for my followers on Twitter. They felt the main grunt of it all ahhahahaha. I almost died writing this. My heart hurt so bad from it all T_____T Thank you so much for reading and as for their ages. I heavily---HEAVILYYYY aged Sehun in this because I felt I needed his character a bit older than how he was. And since I started this fic 3 years ago, I really did age this poor boy LOL. He’s 29 and she’s 27 in the story. :)

[mintyyprince]

1-100

hey i love u

is there a boy/girl in your life? yeah i know a bunch of guys gals and nonbinary palsthink of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? fuck nowhat do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” thiswhats something you really want right now? something sweet tbh ive been wanting to make macaroons for two weeks but i keep forgetting to get ingredients at the storeare you afraid of falling in love? kindado you like the beach? i like sitting on the beach and reading, playing with the sand, and laying in floaties in the water, but i am terrified of both crabs and not seeing whats underwater. its not funhave you ever slept on a couch with someone else? to nap yeawhats the background on your cell? this tho i want to make a katsuki aes name the last four beds you were sat on? i.. was sat on?? thats very different from sat ondo you like your phone? yeahonestly, are things going the way you planned? not at allwho was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? i dont call or text much dudewould you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? BOTH i love all dogswhich hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? ??? there is no more painful, just painfulwould you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? i was about to say art museum but then i remembered ib and i got spooked. still saying art museum.are you tired? alwayshow long have you known your first phone contact? awhileare they a relative? probablywould you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? no theyre exes for a reasonwhen did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? uhhh when he lied about moving to another country to avoid me :^)if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? id platonically marry a handful of friends if i could. blows a kiss their waywould you kiss the last person you kissed again? if all the times i platonically say “smooches” to then absolutelyhow many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? four if u include my watchis there a certain quote you live by? sorta?? and if theres anything im really feeling i just make it my dicord statuswhats on your mind? deathdo you have any tattoos? i wishwhat is your favorite color? blue!!next time you will kiss someone on the lips? nghwho are you texting? no one i dont want to talk rnthink to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? ,,,yea?? these last person u kissed questions are cursedhave you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? some call it intuition i call it anxietydo you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? yeado you think anyone has feelings for you? nO i assume everyone hates me or eventually will and it feels conceited to think otherwisehas anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? yes theyre a cool greysay the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? stare at him all judgmentally and turn away he means Nothing to mewere you single on valentines day? this past february yeah and im in no rush to change thatare you friends with the last person you kissed? fuck nowhat do your friends call you? my name... i have kin nicknames but not much other than that tbhhas anyone upset you in the last week? oh definitelyhave you ever cried over a text? who hasntwheres your last bruise located? anklewhat is it from? bumped into the staircase bc i was fawning over my dog..last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? nowwho was the last person you were on the phone with? i cant remember whether it was hajime or kokodo you have a favorite pair of shoes? yeah my combat boots!! do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? yes and i love them would you ever go bald if it was the style? no.do you make supper for your family? i barely make myself breakfast or lunch do u really want to trust me with thisdoes your bedroom have a door? yes and im so sorry to anyone who said no u deserve bettertop three web-pages? apparently my most visited sites are tumblr pixiv and the site for my schooldo you know anyone who hates shopping? my brotherdoes anything on your body hurt? chest and head // phantom aches in legs and neckare goodbyes hard for you? unless im rly attached to the person nowhat was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? its been awhile i cant rememberhow is your hair? its good, how are you??what do you usually do first in the morning? check my phone and scroll until i fully wake updo you think two people can last forever? with enough trust and communication surethink back to January 2007, were you single? i was seven so yeahgreen or purple grapes? purple and i will stand by thiswhens the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? if i could see my friends in person then id give them the biggest hug uve ever seendo you wish you were somewhere else right now? yeahwhen will be the next time you text someone? im wondering the same thing my dudewhere will you be five hours from now? probably outside walking my dogwhat were you doing at eight this morning? sleepingthis time last year, can you remember who you liked? this guy juan.. he was a dickis there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yeah!! all my friends!!did you kiss or hug anyone today? unless all the times i say “smooches” count then no and id rather keep it that waywhat was your last thought before you went to bed last night? i was super suicidal so have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? try every dayhow many windows are open on your computer? sweats loudlyhow many fingers do you have? t..ten?what is your ringtone? im so sorryhow old will you be in five months? eighteen!!where is your mom right now? floridawhy arent you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? he was a dickhave you held hands with somebody in the past three days? no and id rather keep it that way. hand holding is so awkward for meare you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? some yeah!! do you remember who you had a crush on in year seven? oh boy my stand partner in orchestra.. he was also a dickis there anyone you know with the name mike? YEAH i love mikehave you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? yeah it was nicehow many people have you liked in the past three months? none romanticallyhas anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? n..nowill you talk to the person you like tonight? maybeyoure drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? satan apparently this goes against every last one of my moralsif your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? id be concerned yeahwhat was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? my grandma took a huge bite of wasabi tearily then said she didnt like “the green stuff”who was your last received call from? an unknown numberif someone gave you a thousand dollars to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? id probably agree bc its a thousand dollars man but cry and look away the whole timewhat is something you wish you had more of? confidence.. money... love..... i could go on i feel very unfulfilled rnhave you ever trusted someone too much? i trust people far too easily so yeahdo you sleep with your window open? nEVER dont let the bugs indo you get along with girls? i love girlsare you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? id hope notdoes sex mean love? hell noyoure locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? hed be in quite a picklehave you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? nodid you sleep alone this week? yeaheverybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? i have a few things i cling to but in general not reallydo you believe in love at first sight? i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight but love is accepting and caring for a person after seeing every side of them, so imo u cant love a strangerwho was the last person that you pinky promise? if u mean a literal pinky promise i have no clue but probably my sister

[scumreject]

Sometimes I just have to repeat to myself over and over "its okay"

But honestly I'm not okay I wish I didnt feel like my depression makes me hard to like or be around. Or that I'm constantly worried that I'm not being told the truth or that I'm not good enough for someone to keep interest in.

Like I try to not phased by the fact that my babies father is still with his wife and he says not to worry but honestly I worry, the man I really like the father of my child sleeps with this lady every night. While I'm at home wishing I could even get to hear his voice.

Makes me wonder why I'm not good enough to be like more than a secret, with so many men I was a secret. Now being pregnant I have to literally be okay with him still treating me like a secret not even really caring how I feel about being treated like that. It fucking sucks to feel like maybe I'm just not good enough for him like I'm not important to him. Maybe I'm not... I feel like hes ashamed of me and this baby.

I feel like maybe I was just supposed to be some screw he got away with, I've gained so much feelings for him and really all I want him is for him to be there for our kid.

I feel like I'm haunted by my past afraid my kid will endure the bullying and same traumatic experiences I have yet to forget. I'm worried that now that I have a kid I will never be loved romantically and I will spend my life unloved romantically but than again maybe I deserve it for having fucking someone else's love.

I feel alone, I miss being hugged and just listened too. I realize that the last man to love me may literally be the only man to have loved me bc everyone now is smart enough to never love me, and to stay away bc I'm too fucking much.

I feel scared bc I'm the environment around me is not stable. I feel judged because I know everyone is going to start talking about that slut from players club got pregnant by the married emt. I feel like even though I say I'm not bothered by people talking about me I must be bc I have nightmares of being back to elementary school being bullied but like by grown adults instead of kids. He gets to keep me a secret not care how I feel about being a secret, while I am stuck having my name shit on and being defended by no one.

Why the fuck do people find it okay to treat me like I dont have any feelings.

My heart literally hurts bc I look back and realize people have told me they liked me loved me but not given a single fuck on how badly they hurt me. I've had feelings for men who usually just use me having feelings as a way of using me for sex as long as they could. And I let them bc I'm so hungry for love I'll accept any form even temporary. I realized that I do that told myself I wouldnt let anyone fuck me unless they respected me enough to atleast date me and it worked until I met him.

Not to say he doesnt respect me, I like him very much and he makes me happy for the most part except when I think about being his secret.

I try to tell myself everything is fine and that one day I wont be a secret but the damage has kind of been done and I feel like I'll always feel like he is ashamed of me. But I guess I'll never actually know bc he doesnt really tell his feelings. Which kind of leaves room for my thoughts to wonder, which is okay I dont want to force him into saying anything he doesnt way to.

In the back of my head I know everything will be fine but as of right now all I see is hes still hasnt told his wife, I'm still only good enough after the sun goes down, he seems to atleast be as involved as he can be with this baby or atleast wants to be I'm not going to lie to myself I know if he actually wanted to be heavily involved he would be. I cry every night bc I feel lonely I have nightmares wake up crying most days. I have not been hugged since he hugged me last. I heard my babies fast strong heartbeat today and it made me both happy and sad mostly sad bc I dont know if he or she will actually get the chance to have both parents in its life. I mostly worry of that bc the longer he waits the more it shows me he might bail on me. Which is okay. I mean it would have to be as saddening as it would be as sad as I would be I would deal with it. As of right now my job doesnt hate me. quite literally always fucking tired and or sleeping. As of right now I really miss my babies father and he makes me excited to hear from him but sometimes it seems like he doesnt feel the same. Also feel like me being the way I am I feel like I'm never a person he could love. Nor would he even want to I think hed probably just want to fuck me and only like me for as long as he could tolerate me. I'm crying bc I'm a weak bitch and I wrote this bc I dont want to be burden on him bc hed literally the only person I talk to. I'm also terrified ironically that hed also mess around on me and talk to someone else. Not that I dont trust him I just honestly dont get how anyone would find me to be enough for them.

[weareallfallengods]

Flight from Grace Chapter 1- A small stumble

The long-awaited, actually edited, complete first chapter of the novel that I began for NaNoWriMo 2019! Please, like, reblog, but most of all, COMMENT!

Synopsis: What happens when a Fallen Angel with no memory of her own eternal past meets a woman who can see her for who she really is? A head on collision between the world as we know it and an eternal battle between the immortals tasked with safeguarding the mortal realm. 

Grace can see things she shouldn’t be able to; after all, immortals have gone to a lot of trouble to make sure we can’t see them as they really are, so Something Has Changed, so she and her Fallen Angel will find out what’s going on, and why they seem to always be stuck in the middle of it all, but most importantly, why they’re drawn to each other in the first place.

Themes: Angels and Demons, examination of mortality and our understanding of and belief in the supernatural as well as the eternal nature of existence. The battle between good and evil covering a multi-planar universe, and how no one is ever what they seem to be when we look past prejudices and social judgements. LGBTQ+, proper ethnic and cultural representation (read: most characters aren’t straight or white!).

Triggers: If you don’t like stories that put an often irreverant and sacriligeous spin on Christian mythos, this isn’t for you. LGBTQ+ romance, slow burn, non-explicit. 

——————————————————————————————–

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

Some neanderthal interrupted my deep contemplation of the double whiskey sour in front of me. Which was very rude. Whiskey sours demand your undivided attention and get cranky if ignored for too long. He should have known that, but either he didn’t know or didnt care, so either way- neanderthal.

He was leaning on the bar with the casual air of someone who has done this same dance too many times, the practiced ease of a used car salesman slapping the roof of a car. At least this one’s breath wasn’t too foul. Not that this hadn’t happened before. Oh no, I’d never been badly hit on in this bar like ten thousand times already. No that never happened. I was able to just sit in peace with my drink for the entire night. Yeah, right. Why do I keep coming back then, you ask? Well, Grace makes one hell of a whiskey sour for one thing.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Ugh, this one wasn’t going away with simply being ignored. Lovely.

“Excuse me?” I looked over languidly, with as much disdainful irritation on my face as I could possibly muster from the depths of my three-drinks-in soul.

“I said, ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”

His stupid shit-eating leer didnt help my mood any. I wasn’t ever in a good mood if I showed up here, and that’s probably one of the reasons I kept coming back- assholes like this gave me a vent for my foul mood.

“No actually. It’s less of a fall and more of a stumble really. More like getting tossed out of a club by a bouncer than falling down the stairs. Couple of bruises, a minor scrape, more damaged pride than anything really.”

I could see his monkey-brain churning slowly to try and digest my response that didn’t fit his pre-programmed scenario. I half expected to see steam coming out of an ear. God, some men are just so… ew.

“Um, what?”

Apparently I broke him. Well, that happens sometimes, when I give someone a response they weren’t expecting. Which happens more often than I’d be willing to admit to myself.

“I said that getting tossed out of heaven doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think it would. It’s not that far of a tumble really.”

He chuckled, “That’s real cute darlin’, never heard that one before! How’s about you and me find a table so I can hear more about it? Maybe have a look at those bruises, make sure you don’t need more…attention.”

Sweet Mother of Mikhail, that was bad. Like even worse than his initial pickup line. I almost had to respect his commitment to such a shitty way of trying to pick me up. He had some balls, that’s for sure, either from drunken stupidity or pure ignorant self-confidence. They say that bravery and stupidity go hand in hand, and here was their shining example.

“Believe me sweetie, you don’t want my ‘attention’,” I said softly, for the first time raising my eyes to lock with his glazed gaze. “My attention can become very… uncomfortable.”

He started to smirk for just a split second, but when my eyes met his, both the smirk and the color melted from his face. His mouth hung slack as he felt his soul staring down the opening fiery abyss that he found reflected in my eyes. I watched his mind recoil in horror at the emptiness it saw as it tried futilely to pull back from the horror of empty infinity it was confronted with. I saw in his eyes the sudden awareness of how small and insignificant his place in the universe was, and shrink in horror, trying to flee internally only to find that there’s no escape from your own mind and the finality of human existence.

I looked away just as his eyes started to roll back in his head. No need to cause a scene with him passing out. After all, my whiskey sour was crying from being ignored. As they do.

“I think you should probably go home now Blake,” I demurred softly. “You’ve probably had enough, and your wife would be happy if you tucked the children into bed for once. Oh, and coffee won’t remove the smell of alcohol, so just have a peppermint. Your kids like that smell, reminds them of Christmas.”

He kind of half nodded, like a sleepwalker. I sighed. Hopefully he doesn’t have an existential crisis later and just shrugs it off as being too drunk. Hell, maybe he’ll cut back on the sauce. I hate it when I hear about someone offing themselves after meeting me, especially if they have kids. Well, hopefully he just takes the daily inebriation down a notch or two. I can hope, can’t I?

As he shuffled off, lager forgotten at the bar, I hoped he’d be alright. Genuinely. Sure, I enjoyed taking my frustration at being stuck here out on them, but I didn’t actually wish them lasting harm. A lesson or two in politeness and decency, a minor scuffle to break up the monotony, but no real damage. That’s what I told myself anyway. Made it easier to pretend to sleep at night. Hope he makes it home ok. Hope his kids get a happy memory of daddy saying goodnight for once. Hope he says he loves his wife, and apologizes. Hah. Yeah. Like that’ll happen. But, what can I say, I’m a foolish optimist at heart. And nothing hurts more than having your hopes crushed. I should know.

Damn. My drink was crying, a small puddle of condensation soaking into the bar napkin it rested on. Again. Another sigh. And one more for the first sigh. I hate sighing. It’s the most comprehensive sound of the acceptance of defeat ever created. The acknowledgment of futility. And I hate that. I thought I’d be fighting to the bitter end, but apparently Destiny had other plans. Fucking Destiny. She’s the whole reason I’m even drinking in the first place.

“Get you a fresh one?”

A sweet silver-bell tinkle of a voice broke my unintentional reverie. Grace was back, checking on me. She knew my peccadilloes by now. She knew how much I hated when my drink got watered down by the ice melting if it got ignored for too long. I nodded.

She smiled pleasantly and slid over a new drink, already prepped.

“I figured, after that creep pounced on ya.”

I frowned slightly. There was something different about this one. Hunh. Oh, the ice. There wasn’t any. There were two black cubes sitting in it instead. OK, why are there rocks in my drink?

I looked up at Grace, still slightly puzzled.

“Oh those? Yeah I noticed you didn’t like it when your drink gets watered down, so I bought some Irish whiskey stones! That way your drink stays cold, but doesn’t dilute. Got 'em special, just for you.”

I cocked one eyebrow slightly, “Just for me?”

“Yep! Let’s face it, you’re the only one who comes in here with that kind of class, so I put 'em in the freezer back here with a big 'ol note so Jimmy doesn’t think I’m crazy for keeping rocks in the fridge,” her airy chuckle sprinkled across my ears.

I stared. I was in shock. OK, well maybe I’m being dramatic, but I was still surprised. People don’t normally do nice things for me. Or to me for that matter. If I’m honest, they mostly run away.

“Why…” I couldn’t even formulate a coherent sentence. Jesus, get yourself together!

“I dunno, I just figured you don’t seem like you have anyone looking out for you, and you seem to attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention, so I thought you could use a nice surprise, y’know, cheer you up a little.”

I nodded, more in surprise than agreement. I literally couldn’t recall the last time someone voluntarily tried to do something nice, just for me, no hope or expectation of reward or compensation. I was probably silent a little too long for a comfortable conversation. Hey, I was revelling in the new experience, cut me some slack.

“Well. Wow, um, thanks.” Yeah real smooth. Sweet Mikhail’s Grave I have no idea how to actually talk to this woman.

In retrospect, that should have been my first clue, but hey, I was a little distracted.

“I appreciate it, that’s really sweet of you.” Ok that’s slightly less glaringly awkward.

“Not trying to be rude at all, but I gotta ask- what’s your deal? Like you come in here all the time, lookin’ like a million bucks, never talk to anyone, get in fights every so often, get harassed like every single time but you keep coming back? I mean, I’m not trying to pry if you don’t wanna talk, but you know, like I’m totally trying to pry!”

Now it was my turn to stare slack-jawed. Oh Fates, how your twists are cruel. I closed my mouth a lot faster than the sot from earlier though, so my pride wasn’t too damaged.

“It’s kind of a long and uninteresting story really. Mostly, you make the best whiskey sour. And the people here are…interesting.”

“Honey, there’s no way a story coming from someone who looks like that,” she waved generally up and down at me, “could possibly be boring. Plus, it’s slow, as always, so humor me.”

Sometimes, I can be kind of thick. Slow. Moronic. A nincompoop. A maroon. Several minutes of conversation with this girl and I only just now noticed- she hadn’t looked away from my eyes. She was meeting my gaze with no problem. She wasn’t sweating and shaking and passing out. She was looking me right in the eye, just like a normal person, no fear showing on her face. No reaction at all. Just a normal girl, having a normal conversation, with what she thought was another normal person.

“Are…you OK?” Grace looked a bit concerned.

Aw shit, I was staring, and not even trying to hide it. Well now I felt dumb. And, why did I feel dumb? What was up with this girl that she made me feel so self conscious, so uncomfortable, like one of those fainting goats that just freezes and falls over when you blink too hard at them. Speaking of blinking really hard.

“Um, oh, yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Really. Sorry, just not many people actually want to have a real conversation with me.”

Grace leaned over the bar a little, propping up on her elbows, lowering her tone a bit. “Well, I don’t know why, 'cuz you sure seem hella interesting to me.”

“Hunh. Well, I don’t know about that. But I would like to ask you something first, if you don’t mind?”

“Fire away honey!”

“This might sound odd, but, why aren’t you looking away? What do you see when you look at me?”

She pulled a tiny bit closer. “Nothin’ more than just about the sparkly-est green eyes I ever seen; a dash of blue, like the Bahamas. Somethin’ else I can’t quite put my finger on…” as she trailed off, I felt her finger lightly brush the knuckles on my hand that was still holding my drink. “I kinda wanna find out though.”

OK, now that was smooth. Holy fuck, that was really, really smooth. Like two hundred year old Laphroaig single malt filtered through the blessed socks of His Holiness the Pope smooth. Hold up, now she was trying to pick me up? What the hell universe? What’s going on here?

I swallowed, unable to look away now myself. “That’s all? Nothing that scares you?”

“Not yet, sugar.”

Alright, that’s different.

         * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I grabbed her hand. Maybe a little too hard from the slight wince I saw.

“OK we need to leave. NOW.”

“Hold up honey, we were just talkin’, we ain’t there yet!” She tried pulling back a little.

“No, no, you don’t understand! I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be able to see that. I can’t explain right now, but we have to figure out how you can see me that way.”

“But my shift’s not over for a couple more hours!”

“OK OK, I’m not being clear, sorry, this is the first time this has happened, so I’m a little shaken.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She actually blushed a little. “I just saw how you shot down every guy who came up to you, and I thought….well, you know, maybe…omg I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you! I come on strong sometimes, when I’m interested in something, and when you first walked in, I saw those heels and that dress, and I just was like ‘oh wow’ and kinda couldn’t breathe for a minute, you know I don’t see many girls come here lookin’ like that and oh God now I’m babbling and someone please shut me up I’m so sorry…”

I put a finger over her lips, gently.

“I’m not upset. Far from it actually. But we have something a tiny bit more urgent than that to address. I’m not who you think I am. Or what, I should say. But more to the point, there’s something bigger going on here. And I need to find out what. Fast.”

“Wait, so you’re not mad I hit on you?”

“We don’t have time for that now!” She recoiled slightly at my vehemence. “No, I’m not upset, but that’s not the point! You shouldnt be able to see my eyes. My real ones anyway. I was too slow on picking that up right away, and I’m sorry, but we have to get out of here, now, because something is different, and in my world, that’s never a good thing.”

“Your world?”

I was getting frustrated. “Yes, but I’ll explain later! I need you to come with me now. We need answers, and we need them fast. So, do you trust me?”

She hesitated. “Yeeeeees? I think? Like I wanna, but I don’t really know you?”

“Good enough for now! Let’s go!”

To her credit, she just dropped her bar towel, grabbed her phone from under the bar and came out from behind it, grabbing my hand as she yelled to the back, “Hey Jimmy! I gotta leave! Personal thing- cover for me?”

Just then, there was a bit of a commotion at the door. Grace turned to look, but I didn’t need to. I already knew what was there. I just clutched her hand even tighter and yanked her towards the back; there was an emergency exit near the bathrooms from what I remembered of that one really bad 'birthday’. Yeah, that was a bad one. But we ran.

Good thing I’m not super tall, wouldn’t want to draw attention, I thought to myself sarcastically. Goddamn heels. Why do I even wear these?

Sounds of glass breaking and shouting reached us as we plowed through the emergency exit into the alleyway. Don’t worry about that now, just keep moving.

“This way!” I pulled her to the front of the alley.

“Holy shit, that’s your bike?” She sounded genuinely impressed. Finally, I wasn’t the only one who had that reaction at seeing it. 

“Oh yeah, she’s a sweet ride, and perfect for this situation. Or any situation, really. Jump on.”

I probably should have shut the door behind us, but hey, it was a day for me missing obvious things. The noise coming from the bar was getting louder.

“I’ve never done this before!” Grace exclaimed excitedly in my ear as I kicked my beast to life.

We roared out into the street, my white and gold Valentino’s left sparkling on the pavement where I kicked them. Fuckin’ useless, beautiful shoes. Sigh, they weren’t cheap. Oh well, they’re just shoes.

“Where are we going!?” Grace yelled over the rush of wind whipping our hair like tiny flails of purgatory.

“Not sure yet! But we’re going to find out!”

“I don’t even know your name!”

My heart sank a bit.

“Don’t worry! Neither do I! ”

                  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The bar exploded behind us as it faded into the night thanks to the fabulous Ducati between our legs. Oh and that wasn’t metaphorical- I glanced in the mirror at the sound; it literally exploded. Ball of fire and all. I guess that’s to be expected, what with all the alcohol and what I’d suspected for a while was going on in the basement. Way too many flammable liquids in one place. But that didn’t really matter now. All that mattered was getting away from what caused the explosion as fast as we possibly could. 

“What the hell was that!?” Grace yelled in my ear. Again. I’m going to have to get some headsets or something if this is going to be a habit. Well, the riding together part, not the fleeing for our lives part anyway. 

“I’ll explain as soon as we can talk, promise! For now, just hold on! And don’t look behind us!“ 

“As if I’m gonna let go now!”

That glance in the rear view told me as much as I needed to know, which was more than I wanted, but enough to have an idea of what we were running from. I mean, I figured that’s what it was, but I’m still tired of being right, even after all this time. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. 

That pale blue and red glow was enough. Hell, the noise it made had been enough for me to know what it was. And trust me, I was not overreacting by running first. I’d seen that color a few too many times in my life to think that there was anything else to be done except run. Once was more than enough for anyone. Who am I kidding? Most people don’t get a chance to see it more than once. Guess I’m just lucky. Or the opposite. Pretty sure I’m the latter actually. 

Grace was shivering on my back as we sped away. She’d gone quiet, her mood matching the night around us, the neon signs and street lights reflecting their multi-colored halos in the rain-slicked streets. Fog was starting to rise from the pavement, adding to the soft glow the streets were taking on. Thin, wispy strands curling around street lights and bus stops, blasted into nothing as the bike tore through them, the roar of the exhaust shattering the relative quiet of the late night calm. 

Well, it should have been quiet anyway. The explosion of the bar kind of changed that. Then came the sound. 

It mixed with the growing whine from the crotch rocket under us, which seemed like a fitting counterpoint to the cacophony of something that sounded like if you’d thrown a hundred maltese dogs into a tornado and then blasted it over a crappy school intercom. I hated that sound. Almost as much as the dogs it reminded me of. 

“Aw shit, it saw us.” Time to see if the tires on this baby gripped as well as the kid at the shop claimed they did. 

Well, at least there wasn’t too much traffic. Still, even though there weren’t many trucks and accountant-driven sedans to weave in and out of, there were still enough of them that it took a hell of a lot more concentration than my alcohol soaked brain was ready to deal with. Definitely hadn’t planned on being the next Lewis Hamilton after a night at the bar, that’s for damn sure. 

“What the fuu….?” Grace’s expletive trailed off in the whipping wind as I kept us weaving in and out and through, gunning the shit out of my bike whenever there was an opening big enough to do so without turning us into extremely messy, if fashionable, pancakes.

“Try not to worry about it! OK I mean, yeah, worry, but not like understand worry!”

“How the hell do you not worry about…that!?”

I took a good look back for the first time as we whipped around a corner, using the rain-slick street to slide without losing any speed. My heart sank. At least it wasn’t in my throat choking me anymore. Sarcastic positivity in the face of death? Yeah that’s my jam. Even if I do keep it to myself. Most of the time anyway.

The damn thing was getting closer. Faster than I thought it could. Damn, tonight just wasn’t my night for noticing things, now was it?

That second of splitting my attention nearly sent us flying and a tired busboy standing at the corner bus stop to the hospital, but we only just missed him, with barely enough room to avoid slamming into the back end of something that should have been parked at a kids soccer game, not getting on the expressway at this time of night. 

Slipping into an alley entrance, Grace’s nails dug through the flimsy material I was wrapped in, making me yelp in surprise. 

“Sorry,” she muttered.

I was about to tell her it was cool, considering the circumstances, and given that I wasn’t sure if it made me jump because it hurt, or her hands were cold, or because of where they’d slid down to, when we blew out the other side of the alley, causing a literal postcard explosion from the stand I clipped as we bounced out on to the main road again, just in time to swerve hard to avoid becoming Penske poster-girls for a single truck. 

"Sweet Jesus fuck! What the hell IS that?”

Goddammit, didn’t I tell her not to look back? I wasn’t going to tell her how the beast chasing us had seen us dart down the alley, and since it couldn’t fit through the traffic as neatly as we could, silently charge down the side of the building, slamming into the same shop front that had so recently lost it’s postcard stand as it tried to take the same corner, still snuffling the ground and air to track us. I managed to gain us a few precious seconds of lead as it disentangled itself from the fruit cart, re-launching itself down the alley, bicycle wheel still caught in it’s whiskers that streamed and whipped behind it.

“It’s running fucking sideways on the buildings!”

Aw shit. She can see it. I was afraid of that.

And that was all the distraction it needed too. 

With a last spring off the corner of an empty flower shop, the beast took a massive swipe at us. Come on, come on, make the corner! It’s thick talons cut a blazing arc through the rain as it howled. One of its claws caught the rear end of the bike, knocking it heavily to the side, and nearly throwing Grace off. Good thing she’s got a death grip on my hips right now. Oh boy don’t think of that, too distracting right now, that’s how you get killed!

Grace screamed again as the bike was whipped around violently from behind, and Grace she was confronted with a vision not even her wildest nightmares could have come up with. At least, I hope she doesn’t have nightmares like this anymore. 

The beast’s jaws opened wide to crush us like a nutcracker on adderall, glowing drool whipping around in thick, viscous strands from teeth bigger than my hand, while she seemed mesmerized by the halo of tentacle-like whiskers that seemed to float in slow motion, despite how fast everything was happening. The beast looked at me, it’s eyes burning red meeting mine as I tried to maintain my grip on the bike that was rapidly being torn from my hands. I was holding on to that tank with my knees in a way that would have made the Russian Women’s weightlifting team proud. I could hear the scream that tried to jump from Grace’s mouth only for it to turn into a slow rush of soundless breath as she slammed into my back from the force of me yanking that bike around as hard as I could possibly manage. 

Ground. Street. Tires on. People off. Stay upright. Don’t let go. Run.

The bellow from the beast behind us meant nothing to me now. I was numb, my world narrowing to the few feet in front of me, and Grace behind me. Swerve. Dodge. Car. Bike. Red light. Faster. Green. Faster. Faster. Get away. Car. Car. Bus. Turn. 

Suddenly the cars all dropped away. The turnpike. Oh thank God. I opened up the throttle all the way and finally realized I should probably start breathing again. 

Grace was trying to yell something, probably wanting an explanation. I mean I can’t blame her, but I said I’d explain! Did it look like now was suddenly the time for it? Then again, maybe it was important. 

I turned my head a bit to try to talk to her, but I paused with my mouth still open. The beast was gone.Like gone gone. Vanished. Vamoosed. Not even like really far away gone, just not there any more. I squinted. Yeah, that was a little too easy.

“Did we get away?” 

I was actually about to answer her, when a glowing blue shape cashed into us from the side, just as I was starting to finally let my legs relax a little. Everything seemed to slow down. I know, everyone says that, but it’s true! I don’t know, maybe it was the whiskey sours, but as soon as we got hit, the world turned in to super slow-mo as the bike was ripped from my hands, and I felt Grace be pulled away from me. 

This thing tossed us like a couple of rag dolls thrown from a child’s stroller being kicked by a football player. Or at least it started to go that way. Somehow, as the bike ground across the pavement, with just my left hand managing to keep any kind of hold on the bike, I managed to swing myself around it like a gymnast on a gold-medal winning vault-horse routine, snagged Grace’s bar apron with my free hand, and with sheer desperate strength, yank all three back together, right as the beast’s slavering maw snapped shut on empty air where Grace’s head had been just milliseconds before. Through pure accident of positioning, my toes raked across it’s eyes as my leg swung around and I slammed them back down on the pegs, jammed the throttle all the way open, even as Grace somehow managed to complete the circle I’d pulled her in, ending by straddling my hips, arms and hair akimbo while we slid sideways, fortunately tires first. 

Grace’s eyes were wider than a kid who opened their eyes to Disneyland on a Christmas morning as she slammed into me, and I used our momentum to get the bike fully upright, only barely escaping a second snap from the beast as it lunged again, trying to tear us apart. 

That near miss, and the sigh of relief I almost let happen, didn’t get a chance to last long. 

Her damn hair was in my face, which at any other time, wouldn’t have been a problem, really, but just at that second, was incredibly, blindingly, distracting. And it might have saved our lives. 

Something hot burned into my shoulder and face as the sound of crashing metal and people yelling slammed into me. Hm, spicy.

“Shit! Watch out! Sorry!” Grace called to the one lady who wasn’t running for the hills as we smashed through her food cart. Can you get third-degree barbecue sauce burns? Food trays, sauces and meat all went flying as we dervished our way right through the middle of her street-side restaurant, sweet and spicy and sticky all at once, all over the ground, and all over me and Grace as well. I couldn’t think of anything more than just keeping everything together and moving forward. Run. The only thought occupying my mind. Just run.

“Hey.”

The softness of her voice is what brought me back to the girl squished up against me and out of the rabbit-instinct flight mode I was in. 

I don’t know why but for some reason, my brain decided that was the perfect moment to notice that I’d never realized how captivating the color brown could be. Grace’s eyes were less than inches from mine, and I froze for a second. Again. 

“I think it’s stopped.”

I glanced back. The beast had been right on top of us when we hit the food cart, but now it was standing there in the middle of the sidewalk, sniffing around for all the world like the biggest, dumbest, glowiest dog you’ve ever seen. OK, a dog that could tear a truck apart like a box of tissues, but still. 

“What the hell is it doing?” 

“Maybe it’s hungry.”

I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud. I’d never seen one of these things just…stop like that. It didn’t make sense. 

No time to think of that right now, just enough time to dart down another alley, blocking the beast from view as it sat down to lap up all the spilled barbecued beef at its feet. 

As we weaved and darted through alleys and parking lots, squeezing through sidewalks and darting across small streets, I started to recognize where we were now, and had the barest inkling of a plan besides ‘get away without dying.’

“Whatever that thing is, I think it likes barbecue.”   

Grace’s whispered comment snapped me back to what was right in front of me, the whole reason I was in this kind of mess again in the first place. . 

“Hunh?”

“I think it stopped to eat at the barbecue stand we knocked over. It’s not chasing us anymore- look.”

I tried to check the mirror again, only to find they’d both been ripped off by now, so switched to glancing over my shoulder quickly, and saw no ominous glow behind us, other than the few street lamps on the small boulevard we were going down. 

“Barbecue?” I was still pretty confused. Probably drunk too. But definitely confused. 

Grace’s laugh was carried away on the night like fireworks swept away in a light breeze. “Well, I dunno what the hell that thing was, but I haven’t met anyone yet who wouldn’t drop everything for good barbecue, honey.”

Raising an eyebrow, I laughed, “Well it’s good to see I’m not the only one here who can make wildly ridiculous comments with horrible timing!”

“Funny the things you think about when you should be focusing on other stuff that’s a little more important, hunh? Like right now, all I can think about is a nice rack of ribs.” Grace grew quieter as her head sank back down on to my shoulder. “Where we headed, sugar?”

“Somewhere close. Safe. I think.”

                     * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The old loft was just as dank and dirty and run down on the inside as it looked on the outside. Probably worse. No diamonds in the rough here, that’s for sure. Broken glass scattered on the beat up industrial floor scattered the glow of the streetlight through the mist that filled the space. Definitely not up to my usual standard, but hey, we couldn’t really complain too much.

Throwing an old, discarded, and probably moldy, but definitely more disgusting than I wanted to ever touch again, mover’s blanket over the plate window helped to at least hide a little bit of how gross this place looked. Plus, privacy. A quick scan around and I found a pile of old tarps and a couple skeezy mattresses that I definitely wasn’t going to think about where they’d been or who’d done what on them for how long. It’d have to do. A dirty mattress was a small price to pay for still being alive.

“It’s not the Four Seasons, but it’ll do for now. It’s kinda cold- I don’t think the building even has heat, but I think we can keep warm enough to make it through the rest of tonight at least.”

Grace flopped down heavily on the mattress, exhausted, shoulders slumped, staring vacantly at the floor.

“That was…was that…I don’t even know where to start. My brain’s been turned to oatmeal. What…? What happened? What in the name of all fucks just happened?”

“Yeah, there’s kind of a lot to unpack here isn’t there?” I just crumpled down into one of the old blankets like a sock puppet being dropped into its nest. “I’m not even sure where to begin.”

“Ya think? Like one minute, I’m trying to mind my business, working my shift at the bar, wondering whether I’m going to have to give another statement to the cops after another bar fight breaks out, and the next I’m getting tossed around like a hot sweet-potato, almost get eaten by a glowing, walking catfish that got beaten a little too hard with the ugly stick, get covered in barbecue sauce, do-si-doed by a goddamn motorcycle ninja, only to wind up in some place that looks like it was lifted straight out of Zillow for Crackheads!”

A snort of wry, tired amusement escaped me. “Yeah, I guess it really does look that bad here. I mean, I’m surprised this place is even still standing after all this time, but you’re right, it definitely looks a bit sketchy.”

“Way to avoid the point, hun.”

“Yeah, I know.” Not sure why, but she kept making me nervous, and the way she was sort of frowning while pinning me down with those sparkling coffee eyes definitely wasn’t helping. Probably just wasn’t used to people making eye contact. Which was the whole reason I was in this mess to begin with. Another sigh. 

“Alright. I’ll explain as much as I can. You deserve that much.”

Grace flopped down on the edge of the mattress, chin propped in her hands for all the world like a kid during goddamn story time. How the hell was I supposed to concentrate when she’s doing things like that? Look away! Only way to save myself for now. 

“OK, here goes. So the thing you saw? Well, it’s a…” I scowled. “It’s a…sunuvabitch, I don’t really know what it’s called. Alright, further back then. The basics. Got it.

“Supernatural things exist. Like you believe that humans are the highest species on this planet and that you’re all alone in the universe, and no one can quite agree on whether there was anything before or after this life or what happens when you die, right? Well, a lot of what most people believe to be myth or religious superstition is actually, um, real.”

So she hasn’t tried to run away just yet. That’s a good sign, right?

“From what I’ve been able to piece together, from the bits I can remember, what you would call ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’ are real places- they’re just not really visible to mortals. Most of the time. ‘Angels’ and ‘demons’ are real things too, but they’re a little bit different than most people tend to think of them from what I’ve seen. 

“I don’t know how many there are, but there’s angels and demons walking around, living just like you and me, every day. The thing is, that mortals like you can’t see them. And that’s where the problem is.”

“Like me?” It wasn’t really a question. Her tone made that clear enough.

“Oh boy. OK, here’s the big one- because with the heaven and hell stuff, most people can be like ‘meh, it’s all superstitious nonsense anyway’ and brush it off. This? Not so much. 

“I’m not human. Or mortal. I can see angels and demons walking around plain as day, just like the ones I’ve met can see me. Mortals…see something else.”

“Like the creep at the bar earlier? Did he see…something else? In you?”

“Yeah. On the outside, at first glance, I look like any other girl. But look closer? Well, you saw what happened. People just aren’t ready to see my real nature.”

“But that didn’t happen to me.” Now Grace was looking a little bit confused- but the kind of confused you get when a teacher is explaining something that you know should make sense, even if you were having a hard time getting it. 

“No, it didn’t. And it took me way too long to pick up on that. I should’ve realized right away. If I had, maybe I could have gotten you out of there faster and that whole ‘sweet potato’ thing wouldn’t have happened.”

“So what should I be seeing? When I look into your eyes I mean?”

“Probably something along the lines of falling through an eternally expanding universe, a sense that you’re tinier than a piece of sand in the scope of the cosmos, that sort of thing. At least, that’s what I’ve heard from a couple of the ones who were able to be slightly coherent afterwards. There haven’t been many of those over the years.”

“Wow. I definitely don’t see that.”

“And that’s the problem, really. I’ve never heard of something like that happening before. I don’t know what it means, or why you can, or anything! All I know is that something is very, very different, and very, very wrong, otherwise that thing wouldn’t have been after us. And right now, I don’t know if what’s wrong is you, or me, or both of us. But we need to find out if we’re going to not be looking over our shoulders for…what did you call it again?”

Grace laughed. A genuine laugh, not weighed down by worry or terror. “A glowing, walking catfish?”

“Ha ha, yeah, that got beaten too many times with the ugly stick!”

Grace sat up suddenly, nodding sharply to herself. “Alright, well, you’re either batshit crazy, or I owe my gran an apology.” Grace was still half chuckling, but looking very intent. 

“Your gran?”

“Yeah, she was super religious, always prayin’, talkin’ and singin’ about god. She must’ve gone to church three times a week! Boy, would she have loved to hear all this.”

“I’ll bet!”

“So, I just wanna make sure I’ve got all the stuff you said- angels are real, and something’s wrong with the fact that I can see your real eyes, and not like, the fires of the Big Bang or something, but you don’t know why that’s a problem or what caused it.. Right?”

“I’d say that about covers it for now, yeah.”

“Alright, I can live with that much for now. I’m clean tuckered out, and you look like you’re about to just fall over any second now. Whaddya say we call it a night?”

“Yeah.” I really could barely keep my eyes open at this point. I guess pretending my motorbike was a juggling pin kind of took it out of me.

Grace popped up, suddenly all business.

“So doesn’t look like this place has a big ol’ tub to dump you in, so we’ll have to settle for a couple of wet wipes. Here, help me get these blankets on to the mattress here. They’re gross, but it’s better than freezing to death.”

“You’re the boss!” Those wet wipes were a pocket-sized blessing, wrapped in foil paper. I’m more of a Chanel and gunpowder type, not so big on the earthy, barbecue scents.

I was starting to stumble a bit as we plopped the discarded blankets down as well as we could in the relative darkness of the loft.

“Probably better to stay dressed with how dirty these blankets are.” Grace frowned as she watched me struggle to pick up one of the heavier blankets a couple of times.

That didn’t even register until much later.

“OK, you, lay down. No more for you tonight. Sleep.”

I couldn’t even argue with her. I just curled up in a ball on the bed, barely aware of Grace pulling a couple of the blankets over me, but I thought I could just make out her arm resting on mine as we both drifted off into the heavy, dreamless sleep that comes when you’ve been pushed to your limits. At least, I kind of hope it was. 

================================================

Story tag list

@random-with-garlic @a-dinosaurs-left-phgkneecap @flower-in-the-ashes @nixabee @luvnaught @pens-swords-stuff @alice-and-cheshire-cat @humans-are-seriously-weird @flying-f1shsticks @Neil-gaiman @glumshoe @lykanyouko @kaylewiswrites @just-a-bit-paranoid @thatsmybluefondue @Alice-and-Cheshire-cat @violet-galaxies @biggest-gaidiest-patronuses @midnight-spectrum-again @slytherinlovespuff @friendofcybermen @hemi528i @mirbisduschoen

As always, if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list, just shoot me a message and your wish is my command. 

[saintapplebees]

everything you didnt already answer!

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?earlier while working on memorizing the next song i wanna cover ;)))

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?i guess i’d like to know around when my mental health starts to get a lot better

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?i don’t know, but a really proud moment for me was when my guitar teacher called me his star guitar student :’)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?singing the song i wrote about jay to him

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?i have genuinely no idea

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?1) die…… im kIdding i don’t have one lol

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.i’m pretty sure dirty blonde hair, but that’s just from my memory and my memory is terrible. blue eyes, freckles, which she hates but i think they’re what makes her her. she’s so pretty honestly, i don’t think she believes me when i tell her. she’s tall and probably my favorite person to hug because of her height. she tries her best to stay happy and positive constantly, even when she’s struggling and hurting, we’re very similar in that way. i really appreciate it. she helps me feel calm when she’s being idiotic, she’s just so wonderful and i’m so lucky to have her close, since she has many friends. she’s my beautiful best friend and i don’t think she realizes how much we all admire her. i cried writing this. it’s about kylee. gosh i love her. (also she was just the first to come to my head)

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?for the most part, yes

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?wednesday

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.jay; i mean, he’s my boyfriend. and my tag for him is ‘my stars’. and stars calm me, he calms me. i love the stars, i love him. there’s similarities between the two and it would just be lovely.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?nope nope nope

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?i’d probably tell jay how much i love him and how great he is. that’s really tough gosh.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?they’re so beautiful. something about them, they’re just stunning.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.i genuinely can’t think of any quotes that mean something to me

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?visit jay. go on some kind of trip with him and my 3 close friends

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?i am. there’s a person who i forgave so many times and i regret it. so much. i wish i weren’t as forgiving

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.i dont remember enough about my 12 year old self to do this

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.tattoos are cool, piercings are cool. i would never get many myself but there so cool on other people

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?nope, i don’t where any. don’t think it suits me

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.dodie has helped me a lot in accepting who i am and just her music calming me and such

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.calm down, be quiet and kind.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.5sos; at the time, it was great because i really loved them, but know the memory’s just kinda meh.dodie, tessa, rusty, jesse; the best night of my life. all four are so talented. i’m so glad i was able to go. meeting dodie was a great experience.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?probably jay but i don’t really know what i’d like it to say. i don’t know.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?i don’t have one, sadly.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?take meds, take out contacts, lay in bed until i’m tired enough to sleep

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?i’d dye it pastel pink!! just bc it’s my fav color

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?well i’d go with jay, riley, kylee, anahi, and ariel (my step-sister) but im so indecisive idk where we’d go

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.1; to be with jay. all the time. constantly. because it’s tough not being with him now, although we haven’t met, and i don’t want to just meet him, you know? because then it’ll be even harder.2; for people to stop assuming genders/making jokes about gender/just accept everyone. i’m tired of people assuming and being rude about it all.3; to meet all the phetuses. we’re literally like a family and it would be so cool to just hang with them all.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?i’ve never gotten drunk or high and i never will get drunk or high

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?song; i can’t handle only being able to see one person. i would go insane. you don’t have to constantly listen to the song, but it’s either being alone, or with that one person and i’m sure it would get kind of frustrating?

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.i have. it’s like. a flower blooming inside of you; coming to life. absorbing the sunlight that seemingly radiates off the person you love, and it feels like you have a part or the person with you. all the time.

clouds: as a person, would you rock nail polish? or short hair? (i changed this one bc it had EXTREME gender roles smh.)yes and yes. i paint my nails all the time. i have short hair.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?i don’t go to starbucks

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?probably the stuff i’ll be sending jay. it’s weird but it’s very important to me.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

1-35 on fanfic asks

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

2 stars maybe? Im not great and i forget a lot of things. but no one can stop me from writing and i enjoy it. the more i do it the more i may like my own writing one day

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Fanfiction is everything to me. It was a matter of time until i started writing it seriously for myself.

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Literally nothing. I tend to go off with ships and specific things i want represented... but thats it. anyone can write.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Always! so many! the best thing about fanfiction is how it builds upon itself and spreads!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Im very proud of Secret Baby/ River run. Its large and a mess and i hate it. But im proud ive done it. A completed one im proud of is "Compress said its his turn on the murder screen" i think i did well with that one and kept the tone I wanted.

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

Arguments between characters and having them express themselves other ways.

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It's the making up and posting works i struggle with. Along with editing which is another monster.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

I do love the murder boys! Dabi, Itachi, Deidara, Naruto (should have killed everyone), Reno. If theyve got issues i love them!

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

happy characters. I just don't know what to do with them. Like a domestic setting with no action? nope not for me!

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

Hurt/comfort has always been my jam!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

im not entirely sure? I havent been really writing/posting that long.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

Expectations! its a collaboration i'm working on with a friend and a DabiHawks fanfiction again! It's a fic where they fall in bed together before they even like each other. A lot of assumptions are made and not a lot of talking gets done until quite a bit of Damage has been done. Hawks finds out that Dabi's been doing some things he wasnt comfy with just because he didnt know how to tell Hawks and because he was attached to him. It's messy and won't get less so.

interesting to write to say the least because im such a Zero tolerance person.

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Naruto lol

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

part of my heart will always belong to naruto. can't leave it. But im enjoying writing for bnha immensely!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

Food Fantasy! a video game i did a short one shot on last october!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Soulmate au's! Omegaverse! I love tropes! Oh! Hanahaki!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

none.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I wouldn't say ive done anything too wild?

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

get canon away from me! i love au's! any and all!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

both!

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

currently its DabiHawks! i love my enemies to lovers! (everyone deserves compassion lave and basic decency)

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! some fics have specific playlists!

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

All of the above! i dont know how to put wips back lol!

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

I like one shots better but the amount of effort for multichapter fics is something else tbh!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Yes a few times brought on by comments! What if Hawks ran in to Dabi early on or if Dabi had stayed and talked to Hawks the last night they spent together. None of it ever really goes well? Dabi has no support besides his Significant Other in both of these and i dont like that.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Nope! Ive been getting the hang of NSFW and i feel like that's one of my biggest areas to improve on!

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

any! seriously i love comments! telling me to write more or that i forgot something was done 6 chapters ago or a string of emoji's!

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

Much better than I used to!

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Every time i post lol. Im pretty comfortable with a variety of things! there's been times in this roleplay i participate in that i was very uncomfortable with how my character was acting but that was the entire point and it turned out well considering the outrage he kept causing!

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Best of both! ive also taken a shine to writing things that out of story context are fluff but in context are horrendous angst!

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

Nope! I don't really do Oc's!

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

Secret Baby/ River Run- Dabi gets pregnant and runs away. Hawks is the father.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I've had such a kind fantastic audience but i wish they would pay some more attention sometimes to why i have characters do things the way they do. Hawks leaves Dabi alone? theres a reason for that and the awnser is not to stalk him. even for Dabi's saftey.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

Dabi dosen't meet Rumi like expected. He expected to just get taken out by her in a fight one day, if they met at all. Not him cleaning his torn staples in Hawks bathroom after he's been shoved in there, Rumi having interrupted a blowjob and Hawks had roughly shoved him in his bathroom. He couldn't hear much of the conversation going on outside. But what he could made his face burn with embarrassment as he tried to put himself together. The fact that she was also a Hero and Hawks best friend made him nervous. What a great first impression, sucking her best friends dick with a bloody face. -" NOT DATING-" Hawks voice broke through for a moment and then quieted. -"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF HE'S A VILLAIN KEIGO, HE WAS JUST GIVING YOU A BLOWJOB THERE IS NO ." There was a loud thump as Rumi was yelling and Dabi let himself flinch here in private. She quieted down soon after she had started yelling. Dabi sat down against the sinks cupboard and rested his head on his knees. Waiting for it to stop and Hawks to kick him out. He wouldn't actually get to meet Rumi as Keigo's, well as Keigo's anything. It was just sex between them on Hawks end anyways. There's stomping towards the door and Dabi scrambles up as he resists the urge to lock the door. To lock himself inside like a child thinking it will save him from Enjis rath. Hawks is.... he's not kind to Dabi, but he's not Enji either. The door opens and Rumi's gaze finds him as he's getting up. He ducks his head and gives a little half hearted wave, not sure what she's doing. Why she's looking at him with a gaze much softer than expected. "Hey. Sorry I walked in on you guys. I'm Rumi. Hawks best friend he's been hiding away from you." "I uh. Um. Dabi? I go by Dabi. I think it's more like I'm just his dirty little secret." He gives a small dry chuckle and a smirk, a tad on the mean side like he did with Keigo. It came out a little to real and he winced. He sounded like a whiny asshole, he thought as he kept his gaze on his bare toes digging into the tile. "Dabi, I doubt Keigo thinks of you like that." Rumi reaches her hand out and Dabi tenses in anticipation of her grabbing him. To harm him maybe? To throw him in cuffs? Out of Keigo's apartment but he has no doubt that he will be there soon enough after Rumi leaves. "Its fine. I'm just a villain he can sleep with ya know?" Rumi gets a determined look in her eye as she draws her hand back, having noticed him tense up. "I'm going to give you my number Dabi. Villains don't any resources and I don't like how Hawks treated you when I walked in. If anything happens, I want you to have a way out. I don't think you've told your friends who your sleeping with. Or you would have teleported out of here." Dabi hands his phone over still in shock to Rumi and she gently takes it. She's still super confident in person but, there's no violence or anger from her. Its... suprising.

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Dabi and Hawks can both have issues and have to put in some serious effort to not only see those issues, but work together with them. this has been a PSA.

[gulescamisade]

Minnesota:  Day 27

JADE: -She's on the roof of the Crocker headquarters, pawing slowly through her mobile device. No updates since last night on the bulletin board... she imagines that group is travelling now. It's only a matter of time. Everything is going exactly as they thought.-

DAVESPRITE: -dutifully silent. Until he decides to shuffle and peek from his designated hiding place. Still the size of a canary.- do you often brood on rooftops

DAVESPRITE: i ask while also kicking it on the rooftop

DAVESPRITE: blame the bird part of me

DAVESPRITE: theyre pretty fond of heights i am anyway

DAVESPRITE: i am they and they are me

DAVESPRITE: (caw)

JADE: -squints down at him-

JADE: i mostly brood on rooftops when i know a little bird is watching

JADE: except consider this less brooding and more plotting J

ADE: just in case you forgot youre being held hostage

JADE: -he may or may not be in one of her coat pockets....-

DAVESPRITE: -it's a comfy coat pocket. He hangs and chills, sprite tail hanging out the opposite end.- youre one big bad jade

DAVESPRITE: a mega bad upsized to just plain Big (tm) served with a complimentary side of kickass

DAVESPRITE: cuz lets face it

DAVESPRITE: the irrefutable fact is you were always kickass(edited)

JADE: telling me things i already know isnt going to win you any points

JADE: i figured that out no thanks to you

DAVESPRITE: its no thanks to anyone

DAVESPRITE: not even gpa huh

JADE: of course not

JADE: i had to figure out everything on my own because it wasnt like anyone else was going to be there or honest

JADE: i spent way too much time taking care of everyone else instead of figuring out what i can do

JADE: its no wonder i got so depressed

DAVESPRITE: are you depressed right now

JADE: why would i be??

JADE: im not being held back anymore

DAVESPRITE: dunno

DAVESPRITE: doves gone a month without her mom

DAVESPRITE: kind of sucks someone else is having to watch out for her

JADE: and things will be better for her once i take care of this

JADE: thats what you dont get

JADE: its not enough to just say something

JADE: you have to actually do it

DAVESPRITE: i get it

DAVESPRITE: ive seen it

DAVESPRITE: im still seeing it

DAVESPRITE: im in the moment with you right now

DAVESPRITE: nothing else exists outside just the two of us having a chat

DAVESPRITE: thats how time works in your head anyones head

DAVESPRITE: small real moments that add up to something bigger than yourself

DAVESPRITE: without it were just frozen wonderin whether it was always supposed to be this way

DAVESPRITE: thats how i see it anyway

DAVESPRITE: what are you going to look like tomorrow

JADE: like someone who knows what she's doing

JADE: and stops listening to people who hurt her

DAVESPRITE: -he's quiet a long, long moment. Just listening.- did i hurt you

JADE: -Now she's quiet, too, though she shouldn't be. The mere cause of her silence just angers her more.- you lied to me

JADE: you say you think im strong but even you just think im a stupid little girl

JADE: that you have to hide everything from me

JADE: that i cant handle it or maybe just that you can get away with it

JADE: you dont trust me so why i should i trust you????

DAVESPRITE: you got a point gg

DAVESPRITE: i did hide a lot from you

DAVESPRITE: its more a reflection on my own weak game ass ass assholery than anything lets be real

DAVESPRITE: i dont deserve your trust i aint earned it

DAVESPRITE: but hey

DAVESPRITE: i never lied about why im doing this for

DAVESPRITE: cause that was always you

DAVESPRITE: and jade harleys a better reason to get my ass in gear than literally anything else that was going for me in the old au hah -The laughs sounds so dry. But it's there.-

DAVESPRITE: paradox space can go fuck itself it wasnt going to stop me

DAVESPRITE: this is what second chances are all about

DAVESPRITE: its just...

DAVESPRITE: you

JADE: ...

JADE: grrr...!!!

JADE: you cant just explain away everything like that! thats such bullshit

DAVESPRITE: how do you want me to explain it

DAVESPRITE: you want me to say we were a thing in the other universe

DAVESPRITE: me and jade

DAVESPRITE: and we were the only ones who had each other seeing as john fucked off somewhere in the peace corps

DAVESPRITE: his dad died dave was dead you never got in contact with him again

DAVESPRITE: real soon after that rose went missing didnt know what to do about that

DAVESPRITE: it was just me and you at skaianet trying to keep shit together for the rest of the world

DAVESPRITE: all until fish bitch took over

DAVESPRITE: and then

DAVESPRITE: you were gone too

DAVESPRITE: and there wasnt a single fucking thing i could about it(edited)

JADE: ...

JADE: or maybe you just decided im not good enough for you anymore

JADE: now that i know what i want

DAVESPRITE: thats a whole lot of assumptions to make

DAVESPRITE: point is

DAVESPRITE: i wasnt going to let it happen again

DAVESPRITE: i came here to try again

DAVESPRITE: and ill keep tryin

DAVESPRITE: til theres nothing left of me to try for you anymore

DAVESPRITE: so hey i guess that makes two of us

DAVESPRITE: knowing what we want

JADE: g...rrr... JADE: rrrrRrRrRRrrr!!!

JADE: -her hands rise, clasping the sides of her head and fistfuls of wild dark hair, her growls almost pained in her throat before they rise, furious.-

JADE: BARK!!!!!

DAVESPRITE: -hangs onto the coat pocket as she bark. Then reaches up to pat at her with a bird claw.-

DAVESPRITE: can i come up

JADE: you...!!!

JADE: -She can't stop growling, and all the things in her say OBEY, and her hand twitches until it's abruptly in her pocket, and because it's Jade, because it's still her, the first thing she thinks to do is wrap her hand around the tiny sprite and throw him.-

DAVESPRITE: -promptly flung and none too gently. Gravity isn't a thing he should worry about and with his equalibrium balancing out... he hovers back up in the air. A small ball of light some good distance away, eyes trained on her.-

DAVESPRITE: cant fight it on your own jade even i cant tell you to do that

DAVESPRITE: but i still want to stay with you

DAVESPRITE: til we see this to the end

JADE: RRRRRRRRR...!

JADE: -she's flashing and surging bright rays of green, and she thinks about things she hasn't for a while. SUBMIT, says her brain.-

JADE: im going to find a way to kill you

DAVESPRITE: i know what i signed up for jade -in a small pulse of orange light, Davesprite's form shifts back to his former height. Wings raised and watchful of her movements.-

DAVESPRITE: im here til then

DAVESPRITE: eye on the prize

DAVESPRITE: not for anyone but you

DAVESPRITE: lets go

JADE: rrr stop kidding yourself davesprite!!

JADE: youre not my dave and im NOT your jade!!!

DAVESPRITE: -his heart seems to pound, high with emotion he couldn't articulate. But still DS presses on, despite the way she snaps and snarls at him.- youre the jade im here for no matter how you slice it

DAVESPRITE: my jades gone shes not coming back and i never saw that coming

DAVESPRITE: she didnt

DAVESPRITE: she never got to say what she wanted 

DAVESPRITE: but i do

 DAVESPRITE: im not letting that happen to you again

JADE: i!! dont!! CARE!!!!!!

JADE: -Despite the words, the emotion is clearly high in her as well -- conflict, rage... but something more beneath it all. She lunges for him from the rooftop, like there isn't stories between them and the ground.-

DAVESPRITE: -lunges if she wants, Davesprite swings in the air only to fly at her. Fully intending to collide with her midair.-

JADE: -WELL SHE CERTAINLY CAN'T STOP THEIR MOMENTUM. She's going to straight up tackle him in the air.-

JADE: -DOOF!!! It would almost be hilarious if it weren't so terrible.-

DAVESPRITE: -secures arms around her as they spin in the air. All squawks and feathers and barks. DOOF IS CORRECT. Even with the force, Davesprite holds her. Burying himself with her as if he's truely afraid she'll fall. Wings flap.-

JADE: -But she doesn't. For just a moment or two, they cling together in the air, and then the bright green shocks back to life.-

JADE: -All around them is blackness and the scattered brightness of stars.-

JADE: -And then she shoves him away from her, disappearing in the same glimmer of light they came through together and leaving him in the void alone.-

DAVESPRITE: -a million miles away from Earth, he can still feel the thread of connection. She had the pendant. He would find his way back to her when she needed him to. But until then, Davesprite lets himself float. Wishing he could close his eyes and sleep.-