#Loves me. I’m not lazy or a slacker(I’m still not. Self love. It’s okay to slack off) My friend grabs giant kelp and uses it as a weapon

[scaramouche-bully]

— ☆ Size kink headcanons

Includes: Diluc and Kaeya

[ Sub ] Gender-neutral reader

Contains: Size kink, size difference, soft + rough sex, dacryphilia, stomach bulge, coming untouched, sadism + degrading. 

[ masterlist ]

I had this already finished in my drafts so I’m posting it first before I start working on requests. Thank you for all the love on the overstimulation fic, I will be writing a part 2 with a sub reader soon. 

— ☆ Diluc

Diluc secretly enjoys the size difference. When he’s holding you, he can’t help but compare how small you are to him. You think he’s just showing affection when he’s caressing your stomach but he’s really measuring how deep his cock can go. 

He doesn’t want to accidently hurt you though so he will let you take the reigns. Even with all the prep he did beforehand, you’re still so tight that he has to grip the bedsheets as he watches you try and take him. 

How tight your walls feel is enough of an indicator but watching you whimper whenever you accidently push too far, it makes him nervous but also really hot. The small squeezes of your walls make him shudder as he tries to keep his self-restraint in check.

When he sees that small smile appear and the pride shine in your eyes when you finally manage to bottom out, he finds you so cute. You seem so proud as he’s softly praising you. You did so well so just relax and let him take over.

The small tears that well up in your eyes and the small thrust’s you make, he adores it. He takes a slow breath in as he waits for you to adjust to your walls being stuffed full, kissing the inside of your thighs as a small comfort. He’s watching you as he runs his hands from your legs to your stomach, cursing under his breath when he can feel the head of his cock. You whine and tighten around him even more that he leans forward carefully to kiss away the tears that are lining your eyes as you whimper and cling onto him. 

“Luc...” you sniff, trying to relax as you give him a small smile, “y-you can keep going. I’m..I’m okay.” 

He nods and deeply breathes in, gripping your legs when you squeeze around him, before slowly dragging out halfway and gently pushing back in. You’re panting, whimpering, and softly moaning as his thick cock rubs against your walls. As much as he loves watching your reactions, seeing the bulge of his cock poke through your stomach has him almost feral. While it feels so good, it’s too slow for your liking. Diluc’s always treated you with care and even when you say you’re fine, that you like when it hurts, but he won’t go faster. You bite your lip raw before looking up at him determined. 

“D-Diluc, if you don’t- ah..fuck me into the mattress right now I’m going to find K-Kaeya and have hi- Ah!” you yelp before you can finish when he suddenly slams into you. You realize that you might have stepped a bit too far when you see the calm Diluc suddenly flip a switch and whatever restraint in him snaps. He pushes you on your back as he leans forward, smiling softly at you before uttering, “I’m going to fuck you stupid so you can’t even say your own name.”

— ☆ Kaeya

He loves it. He's an absolute sadist so when you're whining that it hurts? Well, it's supposed to love. Be still and take what he’s giving you.

It gives him a sick sense of pride seeing you cry and desperately trying to crawl away. He likes playing with your hair, cooing that everything will be alright, before gripping your wrists and forcefully pulling you back on his thick cock.

He has a filthy mouth, he’ll wring out every whimper out of you and make you beg for him to help you.

It’s so cute to him that you’re sniffling that it’s too much, yet he hasn’t moved an inch and you’ve been softly rocking back on his cock. You’re such a baby that can’t be honest with yourself but it’s alright, he’s here to teach you.

“K-Kaeya...mm! Please,” you’re whining at him as he wears a lazy smirk and lays back as he watches you do all the work. He never helps you. For always calling you a slacker, he doesn’t put that much work when it comes to fucking you. His cock is enough to have you cumming on him just from trying to fit him all in. He loves watching you rock against him, placing your hand on your stomach so you can feel him inside you. That dumb look on your face as you drool all over yourself just from having his dick inside you. He can’t get enough. 

“Can’t you hear how wet you are? You should be able to take it easily love,” he laughs under his breath as he rubs small circles into your waist before gripping your hips and slamming you down, “So quick squirming and take my cock properly.”

“Ah! Kaeya! W-Wait--Ngh!” you sob out as your walls desperately try to make room to accommodate his length. You’re crying into his shoulder as your sniffle and moan as he softly coos at how much of a baby you are. You’re clamping and spasming around him as you cum all over him as he thrust’s back into you, digging into your soft spots as hard as he can as you orgasm. When you finally calm down, he wipes the cum that pooled onto his stomach before forcefully shoving his fingers back into you beside his cock. He quickly pins you down onto your back when you flinch and try to move away from the assault of pleasure as he holds you in place. 

“N-No! Kaeya..ah! I-I can’t I can’t!” you gasp out but he only grins cruelly at you, holding your chin up with his other hand as he kisses you deeply to muffle your sobs. You can and you will. 

[stealthily]

Not to jump onto ur tags but shdhdjjf to me at least as well it doesn’t come across like louis has rlly. Spoken to someone about his self hatred? He’s so shocked at the idea of clementine believing in him and seeing him as someone of value and it’s like ;-; even the way he speaks of his parents, it rlly rings to me like he feels like he deserved what he got in coming here :(((

@clouiis  omg please feel free to hop in at any time sfkdsjfk i’m literally always down to cry about TWDG some more!!

But yeah I absolutely agree, it doesn’t feel like Louis has ever seriously talked to someone before about the way he feels about himself, and that in itself probably is tied to his self-worth issues. :(     It seems like he’s accepted that his role in the group is to be the lighthearted guy who plays piano and cracks jokes, and the moment he allows himself to feel anything negative, it’s not long before he hates himself for doing so.

The saddest thing is, I don’t even know if Louis REALIZES it’s self-hatred.  When he makes a self-deprecating comment, it’s almost like he’s just stating facts.  His tone of voice and choice of words never really come across as “I feel like i’m a fuck-up sometimes” but rather just: “i’m the resident fuck-up here”

I often think about how the other kids kept making comments about Louis being a slacker, but how much of that “laziness” do you think ties into him being so afraid to mess things up?  Like, look at the scene right before they board the raiders’ boat.  He’s freaking out because people are depending on him and if something happens he ‘doesn’t know if he can live with it’  and  “All it would take is one little screw-up. And I screw up ALL the time.”   

They live in a world where a single slip-up could cost a friend’s life, and Louis doesn’t have the confidence in himself to trust that he won’t fail somehow.   So of course he wouldn’t be actively trying to pick up duties around Ericson’s.   Outside of providing jokes and piano (which get made fun of anyway, but that’s okay, because at least he’s made them laugh, and that’s what he thinks he’s good for)  it’s clear he thinks he’s more of a burden to the group than an asset.

(*also i want to clarify I’m not trying to say I think the other kids making comments about him are mean or malicious at all!!  i just think that everything Louis hears about himself only further cements in his mind that he’s not good enough)

Clementine can spend all her free time getting to know and romancing Louis and he still cannot fathom that you’d choose to save him.  (He wouldn’t have picked himself.  He doesn’t know anyone that would.)

What kills me about that line too is, if you save Violet, she says the whole  “under all that, he really cares about people, and he doesn’t just feel it, he says it.  he’ll tell you every goddamn day how much you mean to him.  shit, he’ll probably sing about it.”

The fact he loves others with his whole chest, and yet has such low self-worth that he can’t even imagine any of his friends choosing to save his life???  pls i’m begging someone come give this boy some affection 

God and then the parents thing.  Like you said in your post, even while telling the story, Louis still feels so guilty about it, he speaks about what he did with anger and disgust at himself.  And yes, breaking up his parents’ marriage was uhh Not Great.   But also he was T E N years old.  “You get to be happy, or you get to be rich. You don’t get to be both.”  Louis justifies that his dad was just trying to teach him a dumb lesson, but honestly, what kind of lesson is that? Teaching a literal young child that the most important thing in life is money??  That you can’t be happy?  Also, what’s the implication of that, since his dad is filthy rich, does that mean he isn’t happy with the life he’s made with his wife and kid right there?  (I’m sorry I know this is a long tangent but that always has really rubbed me the wrong way fdsjksk like no, Louis bb, your father was not in the right to try and teach you that)

Really, every single time Clementine says something like “you’re too important to me”  or  “I wouldn’t have asked you to come with if i didn’t believe in you” Louis just looks at her in such disbelief that it’s heartbreaking.  

BUT ALSO on a slightly brighter note-- how fucking significant is the ending where Clementine is sending him out to check on that survivor caravan--  and how it means that Louis is finally starting to believe in himself enough to take on that sort of responsibility (or at the very least, he’s believing in Clementine’s faith in him, until he can feel it for himself.)

[otome-reviews]

SLBP Genya Fujibayashi Route Review [SPOILERS]

“If you need someone to rely on, make sure I’m the one you come to, okay?”

I did not have high hopes when I first started reading Genya’s route. He’s billed as the slacker of SLBP, which doesn’t appeal to me one bit (strike one). Also, he was released alongside the inimitable Hattori Hanzo (strike two). And finally, he pretty much made MC do all the legwork in his ES (strike three). But hey, minds can change, right?

Some background: back before MC’s ninja clan turned pacifist, she was friends with two boys, Saku(ya) and Gen(ya). Saku was in love with MC, and Gen, the older, earnest, hard working brother, was simply a friend. And then MC’s village quit ninja-ing, had to go into hiding, and the trio disbanded.

...Until now. MC runs into Gen while he’s on duty as Masamune’s body double (!). He kindly offers MC a place to lie low/plot after she learns that Nobunaga betrayed her village, and she takes him up on his offer. It doesn’t take long for MC to realize that Genya’s a little different from how she remembered him. He’s flirty, and kind of a tease (“You’re worried about being next to an amazing guy like me day and night, right?”). He’s lazy (“A life of ease and pleasure, that’s the best way to go”). And his place in Oshu is a shitty, abandoned temple on the outskirts of town that’s falling apart (this actually becomes a convenient plot device late in the story!).

But he’s a nice guy (this is pretty obvious from the get-go), and life with Genya is pretty pleasant for MC! She stumbles into a healing gig after helping one of Gen’s friends out, and it turns out to be super fulfilling. The two of them spend lots of time relaxing under a cherry tree and chatting with the local kids (who adorably remind MC of her/Saku/Gen ^_^). And for all of Gen’s self-proclaimed laziness, it turns out that he’s got her back when it really counts! Case in point: when MC oversleeps one morning, he does all of her medicine deliveries for her, nbd. Not what you’d expect from a guy who sleeps/gambles all day, right?

In fact, one of the biggest repeat “reveals” of this route is that under the uber-slacker facade, Gen is ready to work as hard as it takes to help out those he cares about. As an example, MC realizes at some point that Gen always takes on the more gruesome ninja jobs, so Saku won’t have to, even though he hates the Iga clan (who doesn’t?? haha). In one of my favorite moments in the route, he also puts his life into MC’s hands (literally) in order to help out Masamune, despite having the option of walking away. This kind of roundabout but “secretly hard working” side of Genya is super attractive to me, ngl!

Speaking of attraction, this is definitely a slow burn romance. MC and Genya have years of friendship history together, and it takes both of them time to stop seeing each others as just old friends (it’s maybe a little easier for MC, given Gen’s flirtiness, ^_^). In any case, MC and Gen’s relationship progression is generally chill/low-key until it really counts, kind of like the dude himself. I thought it was really well done! (This given the fact that Gen’s fake slacker personality still doesn’t do it for me, mind you.)

Plot wise, this route starts out very slice-of-life-y, but everything goes crazy pretty fast. For starters, Gen’s job as Masamune’s body double isn’t without its dangers, and MC does get roped into things repeatedly. It’s all worth it though, because Masamune is a super sweet and grateful employer. ^_^ And then, there’s Gen’s bro Sakuya, who’s been tasked with killing MC. Add in some first love angst, the fractious relationship between Gen and Saku, and Hanzo for good measure... let’s just say, things get pretty dramatic. I enjoyed it!

Overall, I thought Genya’s story was an excellent read. You might think the route is pretty chill while reading it, because Gen is a super chill guy, but the writers manage to pack in an impressive amount of character/relationship development and drama into several short chapters! And instead of telling us what Gen is like and what his relationship with others are like, they show us. I might not find Gen to be the sexiest otome guy out there, but I did end up liking him a lot as a person. He’s a good guy, surrounded by good people (hi Oshu clan), and MC’s life has been made tons better by throwing her lot in with this lazy ninja!

Choice quotes:

“Gender matters not at all when it comes to talent.” - Masamune, proving once again why he is dream boyfriend material

“You’ve got a strength about you, one that lets you choose your own way of life and stick with it.” ​

Personality: 9/10 from platonic perspective, 3/10 romantically. Gen is unequivocally a nice guy, but he tries his hardest to hide it! I personally liked him a lot as a character, but tbh his flirty slacker facade is too strong for me to be attracted at all. YMMV! I know a lot of people love him.

Appearance: 8/10. No body double of Masamune’s is gonna be ugly. ;)

MC: 7/10. This MC was alright! She wasn’t as assertive as I typically like my MC’s to be, but she gets things done.

Plot/Payoff: 9/10. 

Personal enjoyment: 8/10. Liked this way more than I thought I would, given the lack of attraction!

[sixmorningsafter]

Future Scene: the Salvatore sisters find out about Caroline

Hey guys, I know it’s been forever since I updated and believe it or not, I’m still chipping away at the latest chapter whenever I find time, but I have an inordinate amount of asks about the Salvatore family in my inbox (lol I’m lowkey convinced you’re all one person but I see you and I love you), so I figured I’d post this snippet I wrote awhile ago for a fun look into that family dynamic. This is set during the Christmas chapters where everyone’s finally home and Stefan’s getting grilled about his bummer attitude. Mildly spoilery since it’s set in the near future. Opening line based on this gifset because I think the idea of Lexi as a wedding photographer is hilarious. 

“I take wedding photos for a living—capturing regret and self-loathing is what I do.” Freya snorted and Lexi shot her a flat look. “What?”

“You’ve photographed two weddings—I’d hardly call that a living.”

“Um, everyone starts somewhere, Freyabot.”

“Yeah, usually in college when they pick a degree.”

Lexi groaned. “Are we seriously going back to the degree thing? I graduated five years ago.”

“Yeah—you couldn’t pick a major then and you can’t pick a job now.”

“Of course I picked major—I got a degree, hello.”

“In interdisciplinary studies,” Freya said pointedly, and Lexi raised her hands in askance.

“And?”

“And everyone at UGA knows that’s the slacker degree,” Rebekah supplied as she blew at her nails, though she promptly broke into a squawk at the pillow Lexi had launched at her. “You’re such a mongrel!”

“I’m a delicate dandelion.”

“Dandelions are a weed.”

“MOM, REBEKAH KEEPS TALKING ABOUT WEED,” Lexi yelled toward the kitchen and Rebekah rolled her eyes.

“Grow up.”

“Seconded,” Freya chimed in.

“Y’all are rude,” Lexi drawled, settling back against the couch in a lazy sprawl. “Stefan’s the only one who believes in me—right, Stef?” At the lack of response, she turned to find the brother in question staring into space, brows drawn into their token furrow. She waved a hand around. “Earth to broseph.”

He glanced over with a vague look, as if breaking from a trance. “What?”

“What’s with you, dude?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve been a gloomy little space cadet ever since you got here.” She paused to reconsider her words. “Well, gloomier, anyway. What’s wrong?”

His shoulders lifted into a shrug. “Nothing’s wrong. Just tired, I guess.”

“Tired from what?” she pressed. “Haven’t you been sitting around doing nothing all week?”

“Lexi knows a lot about sitting around doing nothing,” Rebekah chimed in and Lexi launched another pillow at her face without breaking eye contact. “Rude!”

“Spill, baby bro.”

His brow furrowed. “I already told you, nothing’s wrong.”

“Try again.”

He lifted a puzzled hand. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“The truth’s a good start.”

“The truth is that I’m tired.”

“From what?”

“From—I don’t know, jetlag.”

“From Boston?” she snorted. “Did you make a pit-stop in Tokyo on your way here?”

“Lex,” he sighed and Rebekah ruffled in her seat.

“Leave him alone,” she snipped, likely more out of a desire to fight than save him, but he appreciated the effort all the same. “It makes sense that he’s tired—spending time with people can be draining.”

“Oh, don’t I know it,” Lexi offered back sweetly, and the two promptly fell into their seventy-fifth squabble of the hour. Stefan eyed them for a resigned beat before glancing away, and his stare landed on an unexpected Freya tucking herself into the seat beside him on the couch.

“Hey,” she offered innocently and he sighed—living with his sisters was like living in a 24/7 interrogation unit.

“I’m fine, Freya.”

She shrugged as she settled her computer onto her lap, gaze focused on the screen. “If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

“Well, your mouth says so but your face doesn’t.”

His eyes veered ceiling-ward. “And what’s my face saying?”

Her face pulled into a cartoonish look, voice knocking up a few pitch levels. “Help me, sister, I’m sad.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Did I turn into Pinocchio over the past five seconds?”

She glanced away from the screen and flicked her glasses down to peer at him. “Well, you’re lying and your nose isn’t growing, so I guess not.”

“I’m not lyi—”

“Stefan, I’m an incredible lawyer and an even better sister—I know when you’re lying to me,” she cut in, though something about her delivery always managed to sound softer than Lexi’s blunt attacks. “Plus, these pregnancy hormones are giving me all these supernatural maternal instincts so I’m basically a human lie detector test. Did I tell you I made a CFO break down crying on the stand just by staring at him because he knew I knew he was lying?”

He smiled briefly, glancing down at his hands. “You have an interesting definition of maternal.”

“It was badass.”

“Sounds like it.”

He felt her staring at him for a beat. “Look, it’s totally fine if you don’t want to talk about it, okay? I get it. I just wouldn’t pretend nothing’s wrong because even if me and Dad and Mom are willing to overlook it, Lexi and Rebekah are going to be on you like bloodhounds.” She shot a glance at the pair—Rebekah was gesturing wildly and Lexi was mimicking her every move. “I mean, assuming they don’t kill each other first.”

He nodded vaguely, stare still fixed on his hands. Christ, he wished he could just shake this. He hadn’t been home all year, not even for Thanksgiving, and now that he finally was, his head was somewhere else. He couldn’t even really blame them for prying.

“Was it Bonnie?” she ventured after a few seconds, testing the waters. “Did you guys get into a fight or something?”

He shook his head. “Nah.” He chuckled after a second. “I mean we did, actually, but we’re all good now.”

She nodded, sorting the information into the digital filing system that was her hyper-efficient brain. “School?”

He shrugged. “School’s good.”

He wasn’t sure why he was fighting telling them the truth so badly. Part of it was annoyance, sure—he loved his sisters, but they were nosy and entitled as all hell—but if he was being honest with himself, a larger part of it felt more like guilt. He didn’t want to unload another drama on them. He didn’t want to be the idiot who got carried away with another girl and ruined a holiday over it. He was so damn tired of being that guy.

He could handle this on his own.

“Internship?”

He shook his head at the well-meaning prompt. “Just got promoted, actually.”

Her brows drew up. “Big case?”

“Huge case.”

“That’s my little brother.”

He smiled and she returned it for a beat before chewing her lip. “Is it…” she hesitated and he glanced up at her, brows drawing in a bit. Freya wasn’t the hesitating type. After a few seconds, she sighed and met his gaze with her typically frank look. “Stefan, is it Elena?”

He broke into a dry laugh. “What?”

“Elena,” she repeated, eyes humorless with concern. “Did she, I don’t know, get in contact with you or something?”

He opened his mouth to say no before suddenly remembering that yeah, she had gotten in contact with him. They were meeting for coffee in a few days. He’d almost forgotten.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Or, I mean, not in the—that’s not what—” He shook his head again, waving his hand to dismiss the notion, and her brows drew up.

“Then is it some other girl? Because the only other time I’ve seen you act like this is—”

“Caroline!” a voice suddenly rang out in triumph, as if it’d just discovered the cure for cancer, and his gaze immediately snapped over to Rebekah. Her eyes were bright and eager on his, hair a mess from struggling to get her phone back from Lexi. “It’s Caroline, isn’t it?”

He felt his stomach filling with lead.

“Who the hell is Caroline?” Lexi scoffed, and Rebekah grinned at her, too excited to remember her hatred from three seconds ago.

“Stefan’s future wife.”

“What?”

Rebekah rolled her eyes. “Bonnie’s friend from college! The other girl stuck in the apartment.”

Lexi’s eyes lit up like a ping-pong machine as she turned to look at him. “Bitchy Roommate!?”

Stefan sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face—he could feel all three of their gazes boring into his profile.

“I thought you guys hated each other.”

“They did, but then they fell for each other.”

He let out a groan of resignation. “No, we didn’t.”

“They totally did.”

“Is that true?” Freya asked, her voice gentler than Rebekah’s, more curious. “Did you meet someone?”

“I didn’t meet her—I’ve known her for three years,” he offered in irritable reply, and Freya’s eyes took on a glint of humor.

“You know what I mean.”

“He’s avoiding a direct answer ‘cause it’s true,” Rebekah simpered and wow, he really wished he was an only child.

“Hold on, I’m so confused—so we like Bitchy Roommate now?” Lexi pressed, and Freya shot her an amused look.

“Her name’s Caroline.”

“Bitchy Roommate, Bitchy Carol, same difference—Stefan.” She snapped her fingers at him to get his attention in the most obnoxious way possible. “What’s going on here, dude?”

“Nothing,” he replied stubbornly and Freya gave him a knowing look.

“Stef, I think it’s pretty clear that something’s—”

“No, you know what, enough,” he cut in, lifting a hand in a silencing wave, and all three of them straightened a bit at the outburst. “Freya, you said if I had a problem, all I had to say was that I didn’t want to talk about it so this is me formally telling you guys that yeah, some things in my life aren’t great right now, and while I appreciate the concern, I don’t want to talk about it.”

They blinked at him, surprised, and he panned his gaze across each of their faces with a serious look.

“Understand?”

Freya lifted her palms in surrender, easing back against the couch, and he glanced back at Lexi and Rebekah. They were chewing their lips and peering at him with identical expressions, and God, he really hated them sometimes.

“It’s definitely Bitchy Carol.”

“Totally.”

“What do you think he did?”

“I don’t know, but the last time I talked to her she seemed fine.”

“Tell me everything you know.”

Correction—all the time. He hated them all the time. He shot a harassed stare at Freya and she shrugged, returning her gaze to her laptop. “I don’t claim them.”

Aaaaand now you know why Stefan doesn't always want to go home, lol. Anyway, the mammoth chapter to end all chapters that is 17 will at the very least be up this summer when I get a modicum of a life back. Maybe sooner, but honestly, probably not because I have cardio and renal blocks to get through first. But I’m still here! World’s still going! Ideas are still flowing! Just limited time. Anyway, thanks so much for sticking with me if you’re still here and know that no matter what, unless I specifically say something, I’m still here too. Just slow and busy af ;)

[th3p1nkfr34k]

Before I go into her original bio PLEASE keep in mind this is the version I created when I was 10 and I plan on doing a MAJOR redo of this character (it's in the works as I post this) but I still have her old bio so I redrew her old design and I'm going to rewrite her old bio. BUT know if you want to critique this character PLEASE wait until the new remade version is done, unless you want to give my suggestions on how I can remake her. This is the 11 year old, Mary Sue like, obvious Rouge rip off version I made when I was 10. I cringe a bit knowing I made this character and was so proud of her. She needs MAJOR improvement in ALL areas. So now the OLD bio. Name: Reena The Fox Age: 19 Species: Fox Likes: Roses, friends, candy, lazy days Dislikes: Bullies, work, frogs Occupation: Spy Personality: Lazy, friendly, confident .... yeah that's ALL the bio I did for her. But I repeat: I WAS 10! I had no idea what character development was or even that a backstory would be a good thing to have. BUT as I do remember LOVING my little Reena I will revamp her and remake her. While I like the base concept of her being kind of a lazy bum like character, which makes me question why the hell she was a spy, I'll further develop that into a more decent character. But hey even I'll admit for a 10 YO I think she's not absolutely terrible and hate-able. Just under developed and obvious a Rouge rip off, which is probably why she was a spy... Maybe I'll just make her jobless or some really lazy slacker job... idk I'm not well versed in Sonic these days so she may keep the sonic look but not be a sonic character. I'll re look into sonic stuff and if someone is willing to teach me a bit I'd be grateful. Just want to note the only major thing I want to keep with Reena is the fact she's a fox (if someone wants to help me narrow down what type of fox I'd be okay with that) I haven't even messed with canon Sonic stuff in nearly 5 years, aside from the human MMD models... Sonic '06 kind of killed it for me and my interest just slowly died from there. Again completely open to help with remaking my sweet foxy gal. Who knows maybe she'll open the door back up to me getting back to being my old sonic nerd self. So with all of that said and done please do not hate me for this character. She brings back happy memories of my nerdy baby self and I may upload some old drawings of her (if I dig enough up)

[destressjournal]

DCOM Rankings #77: Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie

Wizards was probably one of my favorite shows growing up. And I’m not talking just on Disney channel, like, all time. It was a cute little sitcom with lots of lore and world building and character development sprinkled in. I honestly think this show was ahead of it’s time, at least by a few years. I will probably talk about the show at some other point but for now, let’s discuss the DCOM.

So real quick, I have no idea if this was supposed to be considered the finale before season 4 came along. Because this movie was pretty intense at some parts, and the finale of the show itself played out much differently and almost....anti-climactic-ly. But I guess it doesn’t matter. I was just wondering why the movie didn’t end up being the series finale like a lot of other shows do. Well I guess Hannah Montana is another exception cuz it had a theatrical movie release before its last season.

Ahhh getting off topic. Okay, right off the bat, this is a classic “be careful what you wish for movie” which honestly makes sense and can easily be done with a family full of wizards. In other DCOMS it’s like “jimmy finds a magic coin” or “billy was dreaming all along”. So it is nice and refreshing when you can just have a character wish for something and have it come true and not be totally weird.

HOWEVER, and this will get into the biggest flaw of the movie, it seems it took a bunch of liberties with the magic logic.

-for one thing, it’s never explained how Alex’s wish came true, I mean it had to have been a spell but spells in this universe are usually done in rhymes and only really powerful wizards can do them without having to say anything. Like, every kid gets mad sometimes and says stuff like “I wish you guys never met” or whatever, maybe it was the power of her anger that triggered it?? That’s the only explanation I could come up with, but my god I feel like Alex as a character would have said this more than once. I don’t know. Just the fact that one angry outburst caused this much of a problem is like...ehhh but like I said it’s one of those movies.

- that no one could reverse the spell but the kids. And that wasn’t explained either. That they had to speed up the wizard competition because reversing the spell could only be done by a full wizard. How does the dad know this when he barely knew the context in which the spell was cast?

-the wizard competition in itself. I loved watching it but the dad is just thrown into all of it and it’s really weird how he manages to just go along with it when he hardly knows what’s going on. ALSO!! I figured they were transported to some secret wizard location in the magical dimension. But the mom, a mortal, just waltzes up and throws Alex the stone and says here ya go. Like where is this place then?? How did she know where to find it?

The other flaw that I had was a flaw of the show from pretty much the 2nd season on, and that was the character of Max. Max is very under-utilized and underdeveloped as a character, in contrast to Alex who is one of the most complex and interesting characters to come out of Disney channel. It’s always been a battle between Justin and Alex, while Max is pretty much pushed to the side to either be the comedic relief or to play a minor role in the story. I like Max as a character, don’t get me wrong, and having 3 kids fight for the crown of wizardry instead of two makes for a more complex story, but not when the 3rd kid doesn’t really take any of it seriously or isn’t even given the opportunity to show what he’s got. I haven’t seen the show in years so I’m not sure if there’s an episode or scene that addresses this that I’m not aware of (there probably is) but I know the outcome of the finale of the show and that’s all I’ll say about that.

The good stuff

- honestly the CGI and visuals were pretty, a little bit outdated obviously but for the time, in a TV movie, it’s pretty good

-the acting as always is amazing. Jake T. Austin’s acting got SOOO much better since his last DCOM, and throughout the wizards show too. I knew it would and I was here for it.

- the character of Alex Russo, she is just such a refreshing character and I could never get enough of her. I still watch clips of her in the wizards show to this very day (not every day but occasionally) because her scenes just steal the show, she is laugh-out-loud hilarious, and fully admits to being a slacker lazy person who doesn’t really try in school or in life. Normally that would describe a bad/antagonist character, but Alex is also a character that’s deep down, full of heart and compassion, and understanding. Because she gets it. She understands the pressure and the struggle of everyday life. And that’s why she’s so likable because she’s clearly not perfect and is okay with that, and won’t blame anybody for not reaching a certain threshold. She’s very down-to-earth. Characters like Hannah Montana or teddy or raven, are still great characters to me, but fall short because they seem so put together and perfect, even when they mess up.

Okay enough girl crushing on Alex, another good thing about the movie is the emotions it brings up. The conflicts between Alex and Justin and Alex and her mom were greatly handled in my opinion. When Alex and Justin had that heart to heart on the floating rock, that was just so genuine it didn’t feel like I was watching a cutsie disney channel movie, like, this is real stuff that kids go through with their siblings or friends. Justin is jealous of Alex because she still succeeds even without really trying, and Alex is jealous of Justin because he gets the approval from their parents and gets all the perks from that. Justin thinks he has to keep up that “perfect” image to please his parents, though, so that’s another layer to his character that his perfection isn’t natural, he really works so hard to be liked and praised. Whereas Alex’s success comes more naturally. I love that dynamic, and how both of them feel like they wouldn’t be loved by their parents if they were to be fully themselves. I’m sorry that’s just really deep for me.

And then again, the conversation they had the second she won the wizard competition and Justin started forgetting everything. My god that was art. That scene always gets me. Alex was so desperate for help and felt like everything was taken from her. Her brother was the last one left who could help and he now couldn’t remember her name. So sad, even if it only lasted a couple minutes.

I know this movie is trying to explain to kids, yeah parents can be unfair sometimes but they love you so you should appreciate them. This specific plot isn’t unique but it’s the character dynamics that make it special between Alex and her mom. Also it helps that this movie already has an established TV series that’s been going for 3-4 years to build these characters up. It’s why a lot of the character moments feel so powerful, we’ve been with them for so long. It’s not like in movies like “You wish” where we only had time to learn about all the characters in 90 minutes. But even aside from that fact, Alex is such a great character that when she even learns to appreciate her mom, it hits hard.

Overall, the movie is really intense at some parts and I remember watching it when I was younger and hanging off the edge of my seat. I still kinda felt the same way watching it for this ranking. Of course it all resolves in a matter of minutes because “c’mon guys we gotta wrap up”

The antagonist in this movie wasn’t really the main antagonist, it was moreso Alex’s struggle with herself and her family members. This guy is an okay character. He doesn’t do too much until the very beginning and very end, cuz he was only needed to supply the map and then steal the stone. If he WAS the main antagonist I would suggest building some kind of real trust before the betrayal. But since he’s clearly just a side conflict, I don’t really care. What they have is fine. I just wish the dialogue with him was a little funnier.

Okay, grading time! I really thought about giving this an A+, but for now I might stick with A. Only because this is an awkward placement in the series for this movie and honestly it doesn’t move the overall story much forward at all. It’s a very self-contained story. I almost wish they made it the finale and have it be the wizard competition, the real one. Cuz the actual finale is just a two-part episode with TV-level graphics. I feel like these two events should have been flip flopped.

So yeah! There you have it! The next movie is one I consider to be my guilty pleasure DCOM. I can’t wait to revisit it and see if I feel the same way or not. See you then, whenever that may be!