#Loch hearing he's enough would probably have helped with that whole 'I'm making a decision for the wrong reasons' thing

[amuhav]

     “You’re not... Not gonna...”      “What? Go? Just leave?” Asher chuckled weakly. “Please tell me that’s not what you thought?”      “N-no? I don’t know...” Loch drew his arms in tighter as a light spring breeze made him shiver. “It’s... I’m never going to be enough.”      Asher scowled. “Says who? I never... I’ve never said that, Loch, ever.”      “If I can’t give you what you want... it’s just a fact.”      “What? No, Loch, I... fucking hell. No.”       As Asher ran his hands through his hair, Loch watched in confusion as multiple expressions flickered over his face until he sighed and took Loch’s hands with a reassuring squeeze.      “I don’t know how you don’t get this already, but... If a chance at something I would like, meant giving up something I can’t lose... I don’t know which universe you think I don’t choose you. Every damn time. I love you far too much for that not to be true.”      Some dam inside him broke, though Loch didn’t feel the tears coming before it was too late and Asher was already pulling him into a tight embrace.      “Hey, I’m sorry if I ever let you think otherwise—”      “You’re so stupid,” Loch spluttered, unable to stop himself. Whatever adrenaline had kept him from breaking down, had also apparently been the thing tethering him to something resembling sobriety, and he felt any filter he possessed slipping away.      Asher locked up around him, his arms going stiff. “...Uh...?”      “I’m just me. A... A fucking mess. You say that like I’m not... Like... There’s just no other explanation. You’re just stupid.”      Asher laughed, no small amount of tension falling away from him as he did. “Yeah. Yeah, guess I am. But so are you.” He laughed harder. “And so very, very drunk. Your brother really is going to regret that free bar, isn’t he?”      “Serves him right,” Loch muttered with little malice, scrubbing his face as he allowed Asher to lead him back inside. “...One more drink?”      “Absolutely fucking not.”

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