#Like he’s not necessarily Ashamed of his identity and isn’t like- in denial

[jameswilsonsupremacy]

respectfully, house probably would’ve chosen it Because no one would assume he’s trans with it. bc real. who the fuck names themselves GREGORY.

i don’t think house could be trans nor do i indulge in the headcanon but if he was why the fuck would he name himself greg

[foxymuses]

how does your muse feel about not being cis or straight? are they content with it, proud, ashamed? would the situation be the same if the culture or surrounding support systems were different? (Dean)

it was very hard for dean to admit to himself that he may be bisexual. like, impossibly difficult. he was young, think like fourteen, when he first found himself attracted to a guy, and it’s not that he was afraid of john’s response (but he was) because of john being phobic or anything (which, you know, is up for debate). it was more that like... as much as one can within the hunting life, john was very traditional minded? like he often dismissed sam’s more emotional personality, and it’s canon that he fashioned dean essentially into an obedient solider, so dean kind of had this idea that like... being not-straight was Bad. which isn’t to say he thought of other sexual identities as bad in general, because even if he’s a little awkward around it, he accepts it. in fact, the awkwardness stems from his own refusal of his identity. but like, for instance when he’s trying to help charlie flirt with a guy to get into dick’s computer, and she admits that guys aren’t her thing, dean just rolls with it and continues to try to walk her through it. AND CAN WE FUCKING TALK ABOUT THE SIREN EPISODE PLEASE, like i know the siren was trying to give dean the ‘brother he wanted’ but come on. the fact that he chose to be a guy over the usual chick he’d been playing?

i digress. my point is that like, the only time dean was ever caught off guard or strange about someone’s sexual orientation is when it was in some way directed at him, even indirectly. for instance during fan episode where the musical literally included destiel and dean was like ‘what the fuck’, or when there was the spn convention at the hotel with chuck and dean was thrown off by the two guys who were pretending to be hunters being in a relationship. these things were not about dean, but they connected to him in a way, and that felt really weird to him, but otherwise, generally sexual orientation doesn’t matter as long as it’s about other people

so you know, he didn’t tell anyone about these feelings, aside from maybe a passing comment to bobby about his thoughts on the matter, which bobby casually was like ‘it don’t matter’, because you know bobby probably knew immediately what dean was getting at. but then he didn’t bring it up to anyone again, and that’s a large part of why he desperately slept around, had so many hookups, because he thought, you know, if he could sleep with a ton of girls, he could convince himself he was straight. i wouldn’t say he was necessarily ashamed of his feelings towards men, but more that he was scared of what it meant, worried it would ‘ruin’ his tough-guy act, make him seem weaker for some reason, because his whole life was about being strong and “manly” or whatever.

in fact, my personal headcanon is partly in line with the ship that i have with @gavrele but it’s that dean doesn’t even begin to acknowledge that he’s bisexual until like... however old he is in s13. at that point, you know, he’s getting older, he’s tired, he’s been through so much shit, he’s stopped having random hookups and one night stands, and if he weren’t a hunter, this is when he’d be ready to settle down with someone special and take it easy. so he’s got that mindset in that he’s mature enough, surrounded by people he mostly trusts, that maybe he can... start to be okay with it. but like 30+ years of denial don’t just go away over night, and, still referencing his relationship with gabe since that’s really the only solid ship dean has atm, things start off very small and secretive and behind closed doors or in the shadows, evolving slowly into being affectionate in front of other people, letting it be more obvious.

and some of this also explains why dean is bad at being vulnerable, why he doesn’t open up to emotions easily and has a hard time admitting he loves people, too. as he learns to accept his interest in men, he’s also slowly recovering that part of him that craves affection, that wants to be openly in love and happy and emotional. but as ever, it’s a slow process and i don’t know if he’ll ever be completely comfortable with labeling himself bisexual.

now, i do have a verse where dean was not raised to be a hunter, and he spent most of his childhood with bobby and ellen instead of john, and therefore he grows up openly bisexual, having had several boyfriends and girlfriends. i firmly believe that it’s the mindset of having to be a hunter, having to be strong and tough and hardhearted that affected his comfortability with the identity, and so having bobby as a firmer support, having more freedom in what to do with his life and what’s okay, it allows dean to be more open and vulnerable and accepting of his interest in men. so yeah, a different support system would totally change his views on the matter.

that got long sorry, but by god thank you for asking