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hot-wiings · 4 years ago

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The One Where [Y/N] [L/N] Can't Show Up To Her Toxic Family Dinner Alone, So She Turns To Her College Peer For Help.

Edited: 12-4-2020

Once your college professor dismissed the class as over you were quick to open your phone and check your messages. Once unmuted, it vibrated and chimed a dozen times bombarding you. Messages from your mother overflowed your notification bar. You just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. With a scowl, you set your phone back to mute mode and harshly shoved it into your backpack.

"Everything all right?"

Your chemistry partner was pilling books back into his backpack when he asked you the imposing question. He zipped the bag close, stood up, and turned to you, giving you a concerned look as he slung his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"We've been partners for nearly a year, I think I know you enough to know when you're not fine."

Your eyes glanced up at the white-haired man before glancing back at your lap. Your chemistry partner, Natsuo Todoroki, was a nice young man. Natsuo was funny and kind, he noticed when you were having a bad day, and he'd try to ease your troubles. Maybe that was why you often found yourself studying your partner more than your notes. Normally you'd relish under the gaze and attention of your charming, pretty partner, but today wasn't just one of those days.

"It's stupid. Like, really stupid, and unimportant."

"If it's bothering you then it's not stupid. C'mon, I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about your problem."

You huffed as you stood up and pulled your bag over your shoulder. You followed Natsuo to the cafeteria, while he walked off to get and pay for your lunches, you found some empty seats. Your leg bounced as you waited for him to come back. The idea of opening up about something so personal made you anxious.

"It's Soba Saturday."

"Thanks."

Natsuo took a seat across from you and smiled as you took a bite out of the food. Happy that you were happy with your food, Natsou digs into his own.

"So partner' what's up?"

"As I said, it's really, really, stupid."

"You're obviously worked up over it, it can't be that stupid."

You let out a ragged sigh as you took a delicate bite out of your food. Embarrassed, your eyes avoided him once you swallowed and set the fork down. Natsuo had shared so much with you as a friend and confidant, you knew about his family, every nitty-gritty detail, but you opened so little in return.

"My mom texted me asking if I was bringing a date home for Christmas. My parents... They're pretentious and rich, you know? Marrying, and settling down, becoming a house mouse while my husband takes over the family business. That's the future they want for me."

You clenched your fists just getting aggravated thinking about it. The toxicity was hard and you were trying your best to escape it, but you could only flee so much when you were poor without your parents. Natsuo reached across the table and grabbed your hands, pulling them into his cold ones.

"I know if I show up alone my mom's gonna get in my business, then she'll try setting me up with rich men she thinks are suitable. I just- I can't do another family Christmas alone."

"I understand what you mean. I told you how my dad's a bastard, he's tried setting me and my sister up with suitable people before, never works out, just makes us hate him. I don't even wanna go home for Christmas this year, so... I have a proposition."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I'll go with you."

His voice came out quick and fast, almost making him sound nervous, but Natsuo didn't get nervous, it wasn't a Todoroki trait. You look up from your lap to his eyes. A small smile formed on your face as he proposed the statement. You let out a chuckle as a light blush brushed your face.

"You wanna be my date?"

"We don't have to go like that, we can fake date. Think about it, you need a rich, suitable guy to show up with you. You need me. Someone to convince your pretentious parents you're ready to settle down, and, I, can get out of my own family Christmas and obligations to see the bastard man."

"Fake dating... Fake dating and convincing my parents that we're in love. That's a lot to deal with, you're sure your up for it?"

"Yeah, you might say... We already have some chemistry together."

You laughed as that feeling bubbled up in your chest. That feeling you got whenever you were around your partner, your lab partner. It was stupid, so stupid. The idea of fake dating him bubbled you, even if it was fake, the idea that he got to be your boyfriend for an evening or two excited you.

"Okay, you dork, it's settled. You're my fake boyfriend."

Your leg bounced rigorously as the car drove on the road. You watched the road signs, anxiously noting how far away from your home you were each time a new one appeared. You lived a couple of hours out from the city you and Natsuo attended college in. Coming from a rich family, you and Natsuo probably would've attended the same social circles and school had you not grew up so far away.

Your thumb tapped away at your leg as Christmas music blared through the radio. Your whole body screamed anxious and distressed. Now that you've had time to brew and process the deal you and Natsuo made you regretted it. What were you thinking, taking your lab partner, who was also your crush, on an overnight trip as your fake boyfriend? It was just going to cause you trouble.

You had feelings for him and your family was toxic. The idea of letting him in was disturbing. It was your home where you grew up, the place you learned to hate yourself, the place that taught you to be closed off, and mean. He'll meet your mom, your dad, and your godawful siblings. He'll see how horrible your family is, and the idea of letting him see the environment you grew up in was so daunting.

What if he decided you were awful too? What if he changes lab partners?

"We're here."

"Great."

Your voice came out placid and tight. Your nervousness and exhaustion could be heard in your voice. Emotions brought out every time you saw your family, he mistook it as nerves brought on by the fear of fake dating.

"We should probably lie down some rules."

"Yeah, I've never fake dated before. I don’t know what you're uncomfortable with, but no kissing on the lips."

Natsuo pulled his keys out of the engine ignition and pocketed them while he lightly laughed at your proposed rule. Heat rose to your cheeks as his voice met your ears.

"We're supposed to convince them we're in love, but I can't kiss your lips?"

"I know it's silly, but to me it's romantic and I’d like to keep this professional. Besides, you still have my cheek, hand, nose, and forehead."

“I see your points, if it makes you feel more comfortable then lips are off-limits.”

You let out a relieved sigh. You weren't sure you'd handle kissing Natsuo. It was too personal, too romantic. The more you progressed on this endeavor the more you worried. Your parents were gonna know, they were gonna know.

"No kissing your lips, what about hand-holding?"

"We can hold hands, hug, anything a couple would do, just no sex or kissing."

"Two days, as a handholding loving boyfriend. Let's do this."

Natsuo got out of the car and while you zipped up your coat and fixed your scarf he rushed to the other side of the car and opened your door before you got the chance. His cold hand was on your hand pulling you out of the car, he smiled softly at you as he helped you out.

“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.”

“I wanted to, I'm your boyfriend after all.”

You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear as a light blush spread across your skin. Never had you been more thankful for the cold air for you had been able to play your pink cheeks off as an effect of the cold weather and not his words.

“You go in, I’ll get our bag.”

“You sure?”

You nibbled on your lip as Natsuo walked away from you. He turned to you with an ever-growing smile present as he winked.

“Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend aren't I?”

“The sweetest ever. See you inside.”

You made your way to the door and gave the heavy wooden door a hard knock. It wasn't long until one of the servants opened the door. The head butler, Godwin, opened the door and threw you a gracious smile before pulling you into a hug.

“Welcome back, [Y/N].”

In your time living here as a child, Godwin spent a lot of time with you. It was his job to watch over you and your siblings along with the other staff members when your parents were gone, which was often. He was the one who taught you to be kinder and nicer, more humble than your other siblings. He was the one who encouraged you to go to college despite your parents raising you to live in a world with their racist, sexist ideals.

“It’s good to see you, Godwin.”

Your mother came down the stairs with her overly expensive Christmas dress flowing with her. She looked like the average rich person trying to show off her money. Pearls, diamonds, and obvious plastic surgery. Your father followed behind her, adorning an expensive tailored suit and a matching tie, no doubt your mother's idea to make it seem like they had a perfect marriage to their guests when it, in fact, was not.

“Oh, [F/N], you're here!”

She walked up to you and awkwardly wrapped her arms around your body. It was weird and awkward. Your mother didn't like giving affection out to her children, or really anyone. Now that you were older, you didn't crave the attention from her. Your father didn't even attempt to greet you.

“I thought you said you were bringing a guest, Oh I knew you were lying. Lucky for you I thought ahead and arranged for one of your father's friends to come over as your date for the evening.”

“Mother, anyone friends with father is going to be way too old to be a date for me, besides that fact, I did bring a date.”

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed to ask your mother for help, I did give birth to you after all.”

She sneered her words at you. This was a classical move of your mothers because she gave birth to you then that must mean she knows you better than anyone else, she also used it in the stance that you owed it to her to do what she wanted.

“You’ll love him. He's the owner of a multimillion-dollar company, he's rich, and his wife just died! You’ve been single for so long, you need a man to take care of you”-

Your mother is cut off by the sound of Natsuo walking in with your bag and slamming the door shut, trying to keep the cold out. Considering it was an overnight trip, you thought sharing a bag might make you look more intimate and close.

“Sorry I took so long babe, I didn't zip the bag all the way closed and it opened on the ride here, I had to put everything back in it.”

“Mother, father, this is my boyfriend.”

Natsuo dropped your bag on the floor and shook your parent's hands starting with your father, and then your mother next, respectfully the way you shook hands with the rich. You supposed growing up as a Todoroki he had to learn these tricks and rules the same way you did.

“Natsuo Todoroki, nice to meet you, sir, ma’am.”

“Oh wow, Todoroki? Like the hero family Todoroki?”

“Yes, ma’am... Endeavor is my father.”

You could tell by Natsuo's stance that he was uncomfortable with the way your mother was asking about his social status and checking him out with a tight fake smile on her face.

“Yes, I remember now, I saw your family on the news. How did you snag this one [Y/N]? A Todoroki, I'm impressed, then again... He is the brother who chose not to follow the life of a hero.”

You both ignored your mother's catty comment as Natsuo grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side. He kissed your cheek, eliciting a light blush for the second time that day, however, your mother's focus was on your 'boyfriend', and his focus was on your mother.

“Feels more like I'm the one who snagged her.”

“Well, you must tell us how you met. Goodwin! Take their bag up to [Y/N]'s room!”

You rolled your eyes as she yells at the butler. You'd think after years of working for her she would've remembered his name, but she didn't.

“Godwin, we can take our bag up, we need to change into our dress clothes anyway. Mother, you really should remember the names of your staff.”

“They're just the help, details like their names don't matter. Ever since you went off to that school it's put silly ideas in your head. Natsuo don't be afraid to remind her who's boss, she might try to force those ridiculous relationship norms on you.”

The comment comes from your father who had been mostly silent throughout the whole conversation. The comment comes from your father and it didn't sit well with Natsuo. As your father laughs at what he said, Natsuo picks your bag up and chuckles at him.

“Oh, [Y/N] and I both know who the boss of this relationship is. [Y/N] attends more classes than me, so I always make sure the apartment is clean, and food is ready on the table for her. It's only fair, I wouldn't want her to think these ridiculous relationship norms where the woman cooks and cleans and the man provides is right.”

Before your father gets another word in edgewise, Natsuo pulls you along with him to the staircase, letting you guide him to your bedroom with appeased smiles on your faces. You pushed the door open and let Natsuo in before closing it and locking it. You flopped over on the bed, and he followed suit before taking a look at your room. It was the same as always, the way you left it after high school, never changing except for when little things got moved around for dusting and vacuuming by Godwin.

“So... What'd you think of my parents?”

“They’re... interesting?”

There were a wide variety of choice words Natsuo wanted to use. He did not like your parents, and it bothered him knowing that you grew up being raised with such ideals. Natsuo might have had a bastard for a father, his father might have hurt his mom, and his family in more ways than one, but his father never once told Fuyumi that she couldn't pursue her dreams. He never once told Fuyumi that she had to follow old gender norms, never once was Fuyumi taught to layover for a man.

"It's okay, you can say it. They're good awful."

"I didn't want to upset you or offend, but my father literally drove my mom insane, he gave her a mental illness and he's nice compared to them."

"Just wait until you meet my siblings."

You let out a laugh as your fingers played with the blanket on the bed. Your hands were so close. It was sweet to him, the sound of your voice. He'd never admit out loud, but he was so in love with you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you in chemistry class. Ever since you sat down next to him and introduced yourself, ever since you accidentally blew up your first experiment. Ever since you kept apologising for catching him on fire, you hadn't a clue who he was, or who his father was. You were normal with him. Every little thing you did lead up to his feelings for you. Every little thing you did added to the strong feelings had had, like a brick house.

To the naked eye, Natsuo was a desirable man. He was rich, filthy rich, and he had that Todoroki charm. Everyone wanted him for his status or his looks. They didn't know him, the real him, him with an abusive father and fucked up family. For all those reasons, Natsuo always thought that you wouldn't want to be with a boy like him. Someone who came from such a broken background, someone so weak, unable to stand up to his father. Guys like him never got the girl, at least not the girl that he wanted but Natsuo also never imagined that you came from a background similar to his. It was so ethereal and special to be here with you, to be the one you were opening up to, even if it was a fake relationship, Natsuo was trying desperately to shoot his shot.

"You're so strong, you know that? Your parents raised you with these unrealistic standards on how you should act, but you're in college, you're pursuing your dreams. You're amazing."

Natsuo's hand reached out and grabbed yours, his cold one in yours soliciting goosebumps and a little shiver. You quickly tried to pull your and out of his and stood up to make it look like you weren't trying to avoid skin contact with him.

"Thanks, Natsuo... You're amazing too, I mean hello, they way you subtly told my father to shove his marriage ideals? It was hilarious, he was not expecting that."

You looked away from Natsou to hide the blush in your cheeks, you were thankful for the way he stood up to your father for you. You could never have done that in a million years.

"Anyway, we should probably get dressed, and go down before my mother thinks we've started having sex. You can get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom, just knock when it's safe for me to come out."

You grabbed your dress out of the bag and scurried into the bathroom. You started with makeup, then you reapplied your deodorant. You were so nervous that your family would see right through your lie. After taking a few deep breaths you heard Natsuo's knock so you quickly unzipped your silk, baby blue dress and pulled it up to your body. Nervously, you popped your head out the door and bit your lip.

"Can you... Can you zip me up?"

"Sure!"

You let the door open more and pulled the front of your dress tight against your body, worried and nervous to be partially naked in front of him. Natsuo sauntered into the bathroom and zipped the back of your dress up. His cold hands glide up your back and then fell down on your hips. It made you shiver again before throwing him a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, you look beautiful."

You looked in the mirror at the two of you together. This time as the blush rose to your cheeks you didn't have the cold to blame or the ability to turn around and hide your face.

"Ready to meet the rest of the snake nest?"

"I survived your parents, I think I can handle your siblings."

Arm in arm looped together you made your way downstairs and into the entertainment room with Natsuo. Your siblings were sitting on the couch, but once you walked in their eyes struck you. They heard you brought a date and they wanted to check him out. Their eyes glazed over him some of them in interest, some in disinterest. All judging.

"I heard you brought a boy, didn't believe it."

The comment comes from your older sister. Her voice was full of disdain and disinterest, undoubtedly ready to leave.

"Yeah, mother said you brought a boy, didn't think he'd be so hot."

Natsou coughs uncomfortably as you showed a tight, fake smile to your sister. You couldn't lie, it hurt that your younger sister would so blatantly flirt with your boyfriend upon meeting him, whether he be fake or not.

"Don't be such a slut, [Sisters Name]. That's your sister's boyfriend."

Your older brother scolded his youngest sister for her lustful behavior and she rolls her eyes before she crosses her arms in a pout. Your brother was the nicest out of all your siblings. He was nice to you and your siblings in his own way, protective of his younger siblings, constantly scolding and trying to keep you all in place. That didn't mean he couldn't be a snake, he could just tolerate you and your siblings more.

"Besides, he's not all that hot."

"Oh he totally is, it's seriously a wonder how [Y/N] got him."

You brought Natsuo over to the couch and sat down next to him. You even made sure to sit close to him, close enough so you could lean into each other like a cute couple.

"I think I prefer your parents."

His words whispered in your ear earning a light chuckle from you. Your sister, the younger one, evidently didn't like how close you both were. With a harsh glare, she rolled her eyes again.

"How did you even meet? Seriously, I wanna know why he would downgrade to someone like you."

Natsuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly and nervously He didn't understand why your siblings were so mean to you. His father was a bastard, that closed you off, that he could get. Despite that, he and his siblings never put each other down like they were doing.

"More like she downgraded to me. We met in school, lab partners. She had all the boys chasing for her in school, but somehow she chose me."

Your sister scoffed and this time you rolled your eyes. She always gave you such shit over the littlest things. You didn't have the energy for this, at least not sober. You whispered into Natsuo's ear softly.

"I need a drink, you want one? We'll need it to get through the evening."

"If your alcohol mixing skills are anything like your chemistry mixing skills, then no."

"Meanie, I'm a great chemist, I practically carry our grade."

Natsuo chuckled against your cheek, before pulling back and kissing it. Again, a blush adorned your cheek with no way to hide it. It was brief and quick, but his cold lips ghosted against your cheek. All you could do was abruptly stand up with a smile on your face.

"I'm gonna go find an alcoholic beverage. I'll be right back, play nice with him."

Natsuo watched helplessly as you walked off into the distance. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for you to come back. Natsuo was such a cool, calm collected guy, but alone with your siblings, he felt nervous. Seeing the way they acted with you gave him a bad impression of them, but he has to play nice because he was your boyfriend.

"You know, an alcoholic drink does sound great."

Your older sister stood up from the couch and walked off in the same direction as you did, the kitchen presumably, to make herself a drink as well. Soon, your brother left the room as well, your little sister bit her lip as she watched your brother walk off in the direction of the bathroom. She was quick to stand and in the place you once held occupied.

"My sister said play nice, but I'd rather play rough."

She slid her hand over his thigh and inched it closer to his crotch while she smiled up at him, nibbling on her lip.

"What are you doing? I'm here with your sister, I'm her boyfriend."

"Ugh, what do you even see in her? She's not even pretty."

Before Natsou could reply, before he could defend you, your sister climbed across his lip and planted her lips against his. He wasn't kissing her back, but with her on top of him, her pressing her face against his, and her fingers deeply gripping his clothes it was difficult to get her off of him. He wasn't kissing back, he was trying to push her off but as you walked up with two margaritas in hand all you saw was your fake boyfriend kissing your sister.

It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it hurt. He wasn't yours, not really. He was just your lap partner, your friend. He wasn't your boyfriend, you were just fake dating. He wasn't yours. He wasn't yours, but it hurt to see your sister all over him. He wasn't yours, but for the night he was supposed to be. He wasn't yours but for the sake of your lie you did what any girl would do after finding her boyfriend cheating on her: You dumped your margarita down the skank.

"[Brothers Name] is right, you are a slut! And you- you-"

As your sister pulled herself off of Natsuo she looked up at you shocked with alcohol dripping down her body, you ignored her and turned your attention to Natsou. Your eyes were blurry but you had to will yourself not to cry.

"I don't need you here. You can just leave."

You didn't wait for Natsou to get up and leaves nor did you want for him to talk and explain anything to you. You simply took off in the direction of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Natsuo quickly jumped up on his feet and took off in the direction of your bedroom. He didn't knock, he didn't wait for permission, he just busted in and ran over to you.

"If you want to make out with my sister, that's fine. I get it, she's pretty, she's hot, she's better than me. She's everything you'd want, but you were supposed to be here with me! You were supposed to be here as my boyfriend! My parents were supposed to think we're in love. You were supposed to be mine, I don't care if it's fake, you cheated with my sister!"

The tears were leaking down your cheeks as you yelled at him. No words could pass Natsuo's lips, no matter how hard he tried. They couldn't. Seeing your tears, a product of him hurt. It hurt. He hurt you. He was trying his best to shoot his shot, he was trying to subtly woo you.

"Your sister came on to me, I tried pushing her away. She's really is a snake, you said it yourself!"

You still sniffled as you nodded at him. He was right, you had said that. He was right, she is a snake and this is exactly what she would do just to screw with your life.

"I'm sorry, your right. I shouldn't have acted like that, you're not actually mine. Natsuo, I do need you, I need you here."

"What if I wanted you to really be mine?"

You sniffling stopped as Natsuo took closer steps to you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled your lips against his. This was different from earlier. The kiss wasn't quick, it was long. It was long and passionate, yet cold. Despite your shivers, you found yourself leaning into him, into the kiss.

"You- You can't do that, it's against the rules."

"Screw the rules. I just- I wish you needed me every night of the year, not just Christmas."

Natsuo ran his hands through his hair nervously. He thought speaking against your father and defending you against your sister was enough to get his point across. This idea of verbally speaking it, it scared him. This was uncharted territory for him.

"I want you [Y/N]. I want you every day of the year. I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold hands, I want dates and hugs. I want more than chemistry class and Christmas gatherings."

"Then you can have me! Have me every day of the year. Be mine, every day of the year. Take me on a date, hold my hand, kiss my lips!"

Natsuo pulled you against him and your face collided with his chest. You buried your face in his chest as your arms wrapped around his body and a smile formed.

"Let's not fake date, be my actual girlfriend."

You leaned up and left a quick chaste kiss on Natsuo's lips with a smile.

"I don't want anyone else to be my actual boyfriend, I suppose you might say we chemistry."

211 notes · View notes

starswayv · 4 years ago

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date’s ending, night’s starting (johnny suh)

pairing johnny suh x reader

theme suggestive, a little crack? a little fluff? But it’s all suggestive, the end is a smut i cut before it happened really

word count 2.1k

author’s note so, I’m a sucker for teasing, so don’t come at me for the ending. also, i loved writing this at first but then i re-read it today and i’m hating it, sorry it is bad.

The rain poured so hard outside the building lobby you wondered how you phone survived it dried inside of your date’s leather jacket. Well, maybe because it’s leather, right?

“Ah, I'm so sorry cause the night’s ruined and we’re all soaked up.” Johnny utters, letting out a frustrated moan while you laugh.

“You can’t control the weather, stupid, it’s all fine. My hair, on the other side, it’s not, I must look horrible…”

“You still look gorgeous, don’t worry. We should head upstairs to dry out, come on.”

Johnny smiles over at you and grabs your hand to guide you both to the elevator doors, not paying attention to the water trait you left on the floor all the way from the entrance to his building to the elevator doors. Someone was going to have a lot of work keeping up with all the dripping people running inside looking for shelter from the enormous flood outside. Shame of you, rainy Seoul in august.

The doors open up in front of you, a gladly empty elevator, and Johnny still doesn't let go of his hand when you climb inside.

You met Johnny in one of those friend’s get together your college friends invited you too, and since he studied for a year or two in the same university before dropping out to pursue a career in music, he knew a lot of you veterans, so you got to know him a little better with every social or party they would throw. A couple of months in this i-know-you-but-not-that-well thingy you two were on, he finally asked you out for a casual date, and since you had a little crush on him, no reason to say no to that.

Even though it’s just your first date with him, the fact that you’ve known him for a couple of months due to your similar friends circle made the mentioned date all so smooth and fun, picnic in the park near his apartment, good talks and loud laughs. You’ve talked about everything, from your college course and hobbies to your family and funny drunk stories, and he told you about his time living overseas and all kinds of embarrassments he had lived in parties and friend’s get togethers. Halfway through the date you wondered why it took you both so long to go out together, just the two of you without any of your other friends together since you obviously hit it off so well for a great first date.

That’s it, until the sudden rain arrived and ruined the whole thing.

It was so sudden you didn't even have time to pack up the dinner back, just grabbing the backpacks with what you could gather around and running off back to his place.

"Ah, I’m sad now. I planned everything so well, this was supposed to be a perfect date..." Johnny breaks the silence, leaning against the elevator door to face you, waiting around for it to land on his floor.

You were hoping really hard that the pouring rain didn't make you look an absolute mess, and when glancing at yourself in the elevator mirror you let out a sigh of relief. Yes, your dress was completely soaked in water and shoes that once were white now were just brown and grey (for that you were trying really hard not to cry, you weren't going to admit it, white converses that stay white are a bit of kink to you), but the way your hair was still falling in little waves on your shoulders were kinda cute, and God bless you for using the good quality make-up today, so everything was kinda alright in your looks.

"C'mon, don't be sad, it was perfect. The picnic, the candles, everything was so adorable and I loved it."

"Yeah, but soaked from head to toes and probably waking up to a very bad cold wasn't on the plan for a perfect ending to this night, you know..."

It amazes you how Johnny can say everything with a gorgeous smile on his lips like being that gorgeous is the easiest thing to just be all the time. Even drowning in water from head to toes and cold as hell.

"I don't know about you, but a pretty hot guy with black t-shirt glued to his body is not that bad for me." You joke around, smirking at him and he smiles, bringing his hand to his hair to brush the soaking strands off his eyes, just proving your point. Johnny Suh soaking wet in rain water is definitely not a bad sight for the eyes.

You realized you were staring for a little bit too long than the normal and a little bit south of his face, so you decide to nonchalantly play a little with his previous line.

"But how were you hoping for it to be? The ending of the perfect date?"

"There’s really no more polite way to put this rather than, if it was up to me, it just wouldn't have an end."

Saved by the bell, he winks at you by the end of the phrase just when the elevator door cracked open, him grabbing you by the hand once again to lead you to his place.

Once inside the apartment, your body starts to shiver really hard due to the soaked clothes, and without even thinking about your actions, you strip the dress and sneakers off and Johnny does the same with his shirt and shoes too.

He tries to not look at you with anything but an innocent glare on his eyes, but the smirk you already had in your lips did no justice to how good you were looking, so he smiles along.

The whole “already kinda friends so there’s no big deal” kind of situation helped a little to ease the half-naked situation you were both in, so you were distracted thinking of where to put your dress when Johnny suddenly leaned into you, his tall figure ghosting over yours so close that if you took one step behind you were going to be pressed against the living room door and still be just inches far from him.

His stubborn hair falls back on his face, and Johnny’s hands touch your shoulder, slowly travelling their way to your hand, fingers leaving a trace of chills down your arm, fingers closing around the fabric of your dress in your hands, taking it to put over his shoulder.

"I’m going to get you some towels, go take a hot shower in the first bedroom in the hallway so you don’t get cold." Johnny said, and then disappeared somewhere past the kitchen door, leaving you breathless, partially dressed and completely amused. This is shaping to be a pretty great end of date, if you will.

As soon as the hot water came in contact with your body, the cold feeling started to ease and you relaxed. You had been inside of his bathroom before, only on a totally different occasion, so as you let the water wash over your body you decided to don't think much of how it was a first date, not a friend-stay-over, as you’d shower.

And keeping Johnny out of your mind in that way was working just fine until he knocked in the bathroom door, his voice coming out muffled behind the door.

"Hey, I swear I’m saying this in the most innocent and good-intentioned way I can, but do you mind if I come inside? Again, I swear to god I’m not trying anything, it’s just that I’m so cold here my lips are turning purple. I’m not exaggerating"

You let out a loud laugh that Johnny hears through the door, and the sound the door unlocking is heard too. If it wasn’t for your months being friends with each other he would never ask you something like this, but you already shared some type of intimacy, and it’s not like you weren’t going to see each other naked some time along the dates, so he thought it wasn’t a big of a deal, and so did you. Plus, he was really cold.

Johnny opens the door after a while so you have time to go back to the shower box and comes in, shivering a little less once his cold body gets in touch with the sauna you build in there, the bathroom so steamy you barely could see each other past the shower glass (unfortunately to you both).

"Wow, is it warm in here. I’m really sorry, I just asked because I was already sniffing because of the cold, and sniffing Johnny is not the sexiest Johnny, I guarantee you."

He couldn’t see you, but knew you were hiding you smile and repressing a little laugh.

"I highly doubt that, but it's okay, I don't mind you here."

You tried to say it nonchalantly, but as soon as you heard it you realized how Johnny might have heard it, and, well, the situation just didn’t present itself from the most innocent one ever, and neither did your statement.

But, oh well, the damage was already done, so why not play along with it and see where it goes?

You hear Johnny laughing low at your response and you do too, feeling the tension dissipates a little. You two just stay in silence now, you washing your hair calmly, and Johnny watching you thought the blurry glass, just admiring the silhouette of yours the steam allowed him to see.

He breathes in deeply, making you more aware of his presence, and turns to the door, opening it ready to leave.

“I'm a little more warm now, you can finish your shower, pretty."

You hear him almost going away from the bathroom, and the words spill out before you really think them through.

"Wait, where are you going?"

Johnny stops midway out of the bathroom, a little confused with your words, but not hiding the excitement from his face. Lucky him you couldn’t see him right now.

"Going to put on some dry clothes, can’t stay naked and cold like this forever, princess."

It was your cue, it’s now or never.

"Without showering? Get in here."

A moment of silence followed, and you wondered if it was the best idea, if you sounded silly or if Johnny just wasn’t interested and you embarrassed yourself.

Not wanting to face him if he ever decides to join you or not, you turn away from the shower glass door, back facing it instead while you let the hot water pour in your back. The sound of the shower door sliding open announces itself, and you smile widely facing the wall.

Johnny had already seen you half-naked just a couple of minutes ago, but the sight of your naked back with panties still on, water dropping off your body but the steam making it hard to see much of your figure, did something to him he wasn’t capable of putting into words. The way your body teased him just like that, staying still, not saying a word nor moving at all, made him want to tease you in every possible way too.

He slowly approaches you, making his way towards your body but never touching it, never too close, and you raise your head to look at him from the side of your eyes when he rests his hand on the wall in front of you, his toned arm going over your shoulders.

"Only if you promise not to steal the whole shower head for you."

His head comes closer to yours, lips ghosting over your ear, words coming out so low it's almost a howl.

You smile widely, thinking his words and finding an even better way for the teasing game he just started. Shaking your head, you straight up your body, making his entire body crash into yours. Ops, not your fault he was this close to you.

And, still smiling, you take a step ahead, getting out of the showerhead’s reach, coming closer to the wall. Spinning on your heels, you turn to face him, naked body leaning against the cold wall behind you, the temperature mix sending shivers down your spine, your entire body on display for him and only him to stare. You watch his eyes fall shut, smile getting lost in a loud whine, the hard composure getting dropped as soon as he catches sight of your body, neck, clavicles, breast, stomach, everything just for him.

Still not getting closer to him, keeping up with the game to see who would break the gap first, you measure your next words, knowing it was your winning card.

"You can have it all for you if you want to."

And with an almost animal groan, Johnny loses, stepping forward to the water and attaching his body to yours.

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griffins-fanfic · 5 years ago

Text

Finding Midnight-Chapter 3

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairing: Moxiety, background Logince

Warnings: none that I know of

Summary: Roman begins his lifelong rivalry with Midnight ft some cute platonic Royality

AO3

[[MORE]]

Roman was exhausted. If he never had to deal with another lady who thought she knew everything, or another table of frat boys who made not so subtle homophobic comments at his retreating back, it would be too soon. He had never been so relieved that it was movie night in his life. He arrived home, changed into clothes bordering on pajamas, ran a makeup wipe over his face, and nearly sprinted the four blocks he had to walk to get to Patton and Virgil's apartment.

Once there, he let himself into the apartment with his key. Patton was in the kitchen making popcorn, so he waved a greeting and walked into the living room. There, Virgil was sitting cross legged, on his phone, oblivious to Roman's arrival.

Roman took the opportunity to collapse onto the couch, his head landing on Virgil's lap, startling the man. He landed facedown, and started groaning immediately.

"Rough day at work?" Virgil asked, combing his hand through Roman's hair.

"Understatement of the century." He muttered. He stayed there, enjoying the affection, until he felt a prick of pain on his leg. He yelped and shot up, jumping onto the back of the couch.

"Midnight!" Patton yelled from the doorway. Virgil started laughter, small giggles quickly turning into hearty guffaws as he curled in on himself. Roman only squinted in confusion at the blur of black scattering across the floor, the obvious culprit of the pain. Patton scooped it up and started toward the couch.

"Sorry about that," he said, "I'm not sure why she attacked you."

"The demon has a name?" Roman gasped.

Virgil wiped the tears from his eyes and calmed down.

"the demon is edging you out of your best friend spot, so I'd be careful what you say about her. She's a dumpster cat we adopted a couple days ago."

"And who's idea was it not to warn me?" Virgil raised a hand and Roman narrowed his eyes at him. He knew it.

"I'm sure you just startled her. She's still skittish." Patton said. "Here." He stepped closer. "Give her your hand."

Roman slowly reached his hand out and held it a foot from the ball of fluff in Patton's arms. He got hissing in return.

Virgil giggled again. "I guess she just doesn't like you."

Roman gasped, affronted. "How dare you! How could any creature on this Earth dislike me?"

Virgil gave him what Roman considered the side eye of the century. "I wonder."

Roman threw a pillow at him, immediately regretting it when Midnight launched out of Patton's arms and started attacking him again. After thirty seconds of pain and screaming, Patton managed to get ahold of her and shut her in Virgil's room.

"What the hell!" Roman gasped.

"She's usually really sweet, I don't know what's up with her." Patton said. "Are you bleeding anywhere?" He knelt down to check over Roman.

"I have an idea." Virgil said.

"Care to share with the class Emo Nightmare?" Roman sucked in a breath when Patton's fingers brushed over a wound on his wrist.

"You come in here, slam the door shut, act like your usual loud self as you make your way to the living room. These actions paint you as a threat in her eyes. Then, you jump on me. She must have interpreted that as you attacking me, and she wasn't about to let a stranger attack her dad without defending him."

"That, actually makes sense."

"I'm gonna go get Band-Aids." Patton got up to find them.

"Shock and awe, I was smart about something for once, I know. I grew up with cats. I'm pretty decent at reading them."

Patton came in with a box of Disney Band-Aids and Roman reached out to grab them. "Where's Specks?"

"Logan couldn't make it due to 'unforeseen circumstances." Virgil said.

"Oh." Roman tried to ignore the disappointment that settled in his stomach. It made no sense, anyway. He had known Patton for years, and met Virgil a couple days after they become roommates. He only met Logan a few weeks ago, when he came to movie night for the first time. So there was so reason he should be so disappointed that he wasn't there.

"Now quit moping," Virgil said, Roman hadn't realized he had been wearing his emotions so clear on his face. "We're watching Heathers."

Roman's mood was brightened instantly. One thing that Roman and Virgil had bonded over was their love for what Roman called "The Holy Trinity" of teen girl cult classics. Heathers, Clueless, and Mean Girls. Virgil had been working backwards in introducing the other two to those movies, working backwards chronologically whenever it was his turn to pick the movie. Heathers was Virgil's favorite and Clueless was Roman's.

Virgil turned the movie on and they settled into their spots. Through trial and error they had organized a way for four people to comfortably fit on the couch a few weeks ago. Patton sat on the left end of the couch, next to the side table. He had access to all their drinks. Roman sat in the middle of the couch, feet on the single foot rest, sometimes he leaned against Logan, sometimes Logan sat in the chair. Virgil curled up with his head in Patton's lap and his feet in Roman's.

They went through the movie, Roman quoting nearly all of Chandler's lines, Virgil quoting nearly all of Veronica's, Patton gasping at all the deaths. As the credits rolled and they realized Virgil had fallen asleep, and Roman realized that all the tension in his chest had eased. He loved his friends a lot, and they always knew how to cheer him up.

~~~

Roman returned the next day with a bucket of cat treats, he was determined to make amends with the cat. Patton opened the door, obviously surprised to see him.

"Roman!" He said.

"I've come to apologize to the cat."

Patton ushered him in. "well come in then. Virgil's at work, but maybe that will help. I think Midnight's in the living room."

She was sitting right next to her scratching post, looking out the window. There was a tree right outside their window that had a bunch of squirrels around it. It was September, so they were scurrying around gathering their nuts.

Roman walked over, taking a couple of treats out of the bucket. He crouched down when he got a few feet away from her and held out the treats. She only give him attention when he started clicking his tongue.

She turned her head, gave him a slow once-over, and turned back to the window. Roman moved so he was sitting cross-legged instead of crouching uncomfortably. Fine. If she was wanting to play the waiting game, he would win.

That lasted a total of 90 seconds until he got bored. He threw the treats in her general direction and got up, going to sit on the couch next to Patton.

"You just need to be patient." Patton said. "She'll warm up to you eventually."

Roman huffed and leaned back into the couch cushions. "Patience isn't exactly my strongest trait."

Patton sighed. "oh dear. I do hope she likes you eventually. I wouldn't enjoy it if mine and Virgil's child and one of my very best friends disliked each other."

Roman felt his eyebrow quirk involuntarily. Ever since Patton accidentally confessed, Roman never missed an opportunity to tease him about his crush on a certain embodiment of a dark and stormy night. He turned toward Patton and put his chin on his folded hands. "So you now have a child with him?" He asked.

"I mean yeah. He found her and brought her home, and we're taking care of her together. It's basically like we have a kid." Patton said, a slight blush already creeping up his face.

"Practicing for something?" Roman teased, earning a light smack on his wrist.

"Oh hush." Patton giggled.

"Perhaps practicing for when you have actual human children with a certain someone?" He kept pushing.

Patton burned red now, nervous laughter continue to spill from his lips. "Oh now really, I'm telling you to zip it."

"C'mon Padre, why haven't you told him?" The mood changed very quickly. Maybe he shouldn't have asked that.

Patton wrapped an arm around himself and averted his gaze so he no longer was making eye contact with him. He took a deep breath. "because I'm, I don't know, scared?"

Roman sat back up. "Scared of what?"

"His reaction? I know logically that he wouldn't react badly, but there's always that fear, you know? I don't want to lose him."

"But what if you not confessing is the reason that you lose him?" Teasing aside, they didn't really have that many serious moments where he could talk about stuff like that with Patton.

"There's too much of a risk. I can't, Roman."

"But what if-"

"Roman! Please." Patton finally looked him in the eye for the first time since the conversation turned serious. His eyes were filled with desperation, sad enough that Roman knew immediately he had gone too far.

He held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. You're right. I went too far. Sorry." They sat in silence for a while, both watching the cat, who was watching the squirrels. Roman was desperate to salvage the situation, he didn't like leaving his friends on a bad or awkward note.

"Are you doing anything today?" He asked finally.

Patton shook his head. "No. I was planning on getting some writing done, but I've already reached my word count goal for today."

"Do you want to go to the art museum? I'm off today."

Patton hummed in thought for a second. "Sure! I've just gotta feed Midnight first."

Roman jumped up at that. "That's it!" He shouted, startling both Patton and the cat. "That's how I'll get her to like me! I'll feed her."

"That's a good idea." Patton got up and walked into the kitchen, Roman following. He grabbed a can of wet cat food, a pale pink food bowl, and a can opener. "Just put the food in the bowl, break it up a little, and set it next to the water bowl."

Roman held the can opener in his hand and stared at the closed can of food. He continued to stare for a while, too embarrassed to admit why he hadn't started you.

Luckily, Patton was good at reading people. "You don't know how to use a can opener." He said simply. Roman nodded. "Well, here, I'll teach you."

Patton quickly explained how to use the opener, Roman watching intently. He knew he was way too old to not know this, but he just didn't use a lot of canned food.

As soon as Patton cracked the can open, Midnight appeared in the kitchen, circling Patton's feet, yelling at him. Patton passed the can to Roman, who dropped the food in the bowl and set it down. Midnight approached cautiously. She gave Roman a dirty look before finally crouching down to eat her food.

Roman sat down next to the bowl and watched for a few seconds. Then he slowly reached a finger out and scritched Midnight's head. In a flash, Roman had another cut on his hand and Midnight was hiding behind Patton's legs.

Roman sighed and stood up. "Well, let's try again later."

Patton smiled at him. "Let's go."

They had lots of fun at the museum. The two of them were never people for staring at art and looking for meaning in them, Logan refused to go with them to museums for that reason. Instead, they wandered the halls, chatting casually, occasionally making jokes about the art on the walls, their attempts at hushed giggles getting dirty looks from a bunch of other people.

Roman did find one painting that spoke to him for reasons it couldn't explain. It was a portrait of a woman and two young girls, and something in one of the girl's expression stirred something in him. He stared at that single painting for way too long, until Patton pulled him away to make a dumb joke about a sculpture.

They returned home, spirits high, and Roman was so glad he had that impromptu day with his best friend. They were the first people to befriend each other of the four, and Roman loved Logan and Virgil to death, he truly did, but he sometimes missed when it was just the two of them.

Taglist (ask to be added or removed)

@whymustibedraggedintofandomhell @kosmicsides @ananonsplace @thatgaydemigodnerd @serenitythepanther

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #my writing #finding midnight

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markedmoirai-blog · 7 years ago

Text

There was the beginning, that newness, the unfamiliar territory that you wanted to explore, the way your heart would skip a beat or two whenever they came into view. The lights dimmed, it was straight and simple tunnel vision. Your throat went dry, thoughts turned into a web that was linked to other thoughts, tongue failing to get out the words your mind knew very well. It was the way your stomach flipped when you saw them smile, and you swear that you never saw anything better. It was in the way your eyes would lock, and everybody else would disappear. In a crowded room, you would always search for them. In the way where you found yourself smiling at random moments throughout the day, out into space, for no reason at all. The times where you saw something and the first thing that came to mind was them and how, now, experiences were not your own but to be shared. It was in the way they said your name, dripping in religious devotion and you swore, right then and there, that they would be the only one you would ever worship. A single touch and your entire body was aflame. Nothing made sense. Everything made sense.

Then there was the brutal falling. The cracks that would ebb deeper and deeper, and no matter how much you tried to cover them, some stains were invisible and permanent, damage already too far gone. It was in the way that promises of forever had suddenly turned around, seeming like a dead end. It was in the way that now, there were only words of poison, voices louder than they had been previously and mouths that had once worshipped were now spewing venom, cutting skin with words sharp, knowing exactly where to cut the other, weaknesses well known because who knew each other better than one another? It was in the drying of throats, but now for a different reason altogether, the fighting and the fighting and oh god, the fighting, and for what? Trying to hold together the broken pieces of something that had already become a mosaic; pieces that had once fit together perfectly were now cut jagged, only to leave the other bleeding, to pick up the pieces they had cut themselves on. There was always one person who was more vulnerable, the person who fell first, the one who fell harder and gave more of themselves because they only knew how to wear their heart on their sleeve, and to give and give and give until they were empty, but it didn't matter if the other person was full, if the other person was happy. That person was me.

Dating and I used to be best friends. It used to be easy when you were the head cheerleader. The boys had been like bees, and I was supplying the honey. There was never any shortage and I always had a date to the dance (even two and I had to eenie meenie minnie moe it.) Enter Destiny, stage right. Thomas Prescott — Captain of the football team and a target of mine when life used to be cheerleading and parties. Everything had been going just peachy, and he had asked me to be his date for the Spring Fling. Then came a lot of people dying, freaky accidents and somehow, I was always around when they happened (Slayer business and all) and that brought out the stigma of ‘where Buffy went, trouble followed’. Of course, Thomas couldn't be seen with someone like that, someone whose image was starting to shatter from perfection to delinquent, and there endeth the dreams of dating the captain, and it only seemed to be a downward slope from there. Billy Fordham — Hemery High crush, one of my first major heart throbs came back to Sunnydale. What did I do? Blindly trust, only to learn that he had learned of the things that went bump in the night, having been promised the gift of eternity in exchange for one tiny gift – the slayer's death. I sure knew how to pick them. Owen Thurman — He was quiet, soft and an all around hunk who had a soft side for Emily Dickinson and carried around her volumes to read between classes. He was someone who seemed to walk on the side of safe, normal and boring and boy, did I find that endearing. Except, one date with me and suddenly the boy was seeking adrenaline thrills and wanting to go on more fangy adventures, and I knew that he would last all of fifteen minutes in this life. Somehow, slaying had come meddling in between and me and my lack of luster love life, once again. Scott Hope — I wasn't going to make the same mistake again, slaying would be my dirty little secret. The only thing was, that dirty little secrets often ended up being distractions, building little white lie on little white lie until all there was left was big, black lies and nowhere to turn. According to him, I was never present, not in the now, always distracted (I had to be, I had a job to do, but he couldn't know that.) Tom Warner — Mutant ninja turtle, basically. Boatload of steroids for being on the swimming team and all around icky. I sure knew how to pick em.' Angel — The first. That epic love (or so one thinks in the moment), the one that made my head spin in a tizzy. Always. Forbidden — not only because he was hundreds of years older, but because he was the very thing I was destined to kill. First loves came with naivety, and this relationship did not disappoint. There was heartache, the kind that made your knees buckle and your heart break into pieces, the kind that knocked the wind out of your body and left you immobile. "Was it good for you too?"

Words, mocking, painted in blood for everyone to see my vulnerable state. My first time — and I had turned my boyfriend into a monster. After a night of blissful love making, the sheets had been empty and cold, and the body I slept with was not the same one I came back to.

"It wasn't like you were my first. C'mon, Buff. You were... you'll get better."

Those were the first words I heard afterwards, and it had taken everything in me to not cry, to not let him see me more broken than I had felt. I had never let anyone in like that, and this was the result. It wasn't Angel talking, it was Angelus, but those were words that I hadn't forgotten, even now.

When it came time to save the entire world, I was ready to make that sacrifice, to kill Angelus. But I hadn't been ready to kill Angel.

Malice had been replaced with vulnerability, and everything that had happened, everything he had done, wiped away... I kissed him and still, I had to kill him. The world had been saved, I had been broken, a fair trade. Parker Abrams — Charming was part of the personality trait, just as was being a jerk. His interest in me had caused me to think that maybe, just maybe, he cared. He was attentive, and was good with his words, and me, heart on my sleeve, fell into every single trap he laid out for me like the hunter he was, laying breadcrumbs until I had found his bedchamber and thinking that this could be different, that he was genuine, I slept with him. History loved to repeat itself because this time I was met with a: "It was a good time. What did you think it was?"

Was it me? Did I have it written all over my forehead, that I was an easy pit stop? Even someone as crappy as Parker didn't want me, well only for one thing. I hated that when it came to the matters of the heart, I tended to ask questions later because I thought that everyone would be as genuine as I was. I was starting to think that letting people in wasn't a good idea at all. Not when they saw their opportunity at manipulating. Not when I always ended up caring more. It was only a matter of time before lessons would begin to harden even the softest of hearts. Riley Finn — A good man. A wonderful soldier. Sweet, and probably the best boyfriend material I had encountered. Yet... there was always this space between him and I and that space was because of me. I kept everyone at a distance, I kept him at a distance because I wasn't sure if I could take another hit at my foundation. He pulled me in, I pushed him out, and no matter how hard I tried, that wall of stone only seemed to thicken with question marks between us, leaving us further and further apart until there was nothing left to hold on to, nothing to base this foundation off of. He deserved better than half baked proposals because of a girl who wasn’t sure if she could let people in anymore. He had been good at giving me an ultimatum and leaving… just like the rest. Apparently it was easy.

Dean Winchester — the biggest question mark in my life. Our history had been a long one, dating back to Hemery High, and that had been just the start of it. He had been the mark that never faded, fitting like my favourite sweater; nostalgia, a taste bringing me back to the most bittersweet time of my life. Maybe it had been the way he had this air of secrecy around him, or how he seemed to not care at all. Or maybe it had been the stolen kisses between classes, and the way he spiked my heart rate or the way that I could see something behind that signature smirk but he had been the one to hurt the most, and he had never faded from me, even years later, the memory of him leaving without a single word was fresh, as if it had just happened. The anger, the hurt, the embarrassment and the black pit of something I was only beginning to learn about — heartbreak warfare.

If that had been the end of it, I might have coped but our relationship was confusing, with more words unsaid and longing looks exchanged. A distant memory, coming back to life and with it, everything I had felt when he was near me. How dare he? Just come back unannounced and make me drown with what I felt? Once again, I was the reason for the death of a possible lover, disappointing him but he would never say. The good luck kiss still imprinted on my lips, the disappointment because I knew I was partly to blame but, I had to do what I had to do. Damn, this job.

The joy when he had returned, again and again, feeling more than I should for someone who had the tendency to leave for prolonged periods of time. The confusion that only grew with the feelings that I couldn't dare put into verbal words, the confusion that came when the tension became too much and we could only answer with locking mouths and exploring hands; but never words. Never. We wouldn't go near that, that plate was too hot to the touch and none of us wanted to get burned. The way that I felt like I could be me with him, not the Slayer, not the one that had to be “on” all the time, but me, Buffy Anne Summers. That there was this smile, completely organic, matching the happiness that coagulated within me only when I was with him. He was the match that lit up that flame, and that flame would be the same one that would burn me. Sometimes I thought I saw something, something in those green eyes of his. Something that resembled affection for me, but it had probably been my own reflection. There had always been an elephant in the room with us, suffocating me and taking away my air because I felt like I would combust with just how much I lov— felt for him. A way he didn't feel about me.

I didn't even have to ask. I knew what this was. I was his Sunnydale stop, just like the ones he had all over this country. Dean was the love em' and leave em' type, and didn't know the first thing about relationships. Settling down was never in the corner of his mind, so just entertaining the thought was asking for heartbreak, another one, and this one was one that I knew I wouldn't come back from. This was different from all the rest, he was the one that never went away, no matter the miles between us. But I could pretend he cared about me — I could pretend when his fingers were gripping my skin, when my hands were in his hair and his mouth was mapping out my skin in complete devotion, as if I were the only one he was going to touch like that. That was when I could pretend that this was more than just a distraction for me, and one for him. When teeth bit down onto his lip, when soft sounds were muffled into the junction of his shoulder, hot breaths spilling with pleas and that feeling when complete and utter ecstasy came to pull us both under, when he said my name with such affection... I could pretend he loved me too. That he wasn't going to leave for weeks on end. That whatever we were doing, it was real.

I was good at pretending. Why was it that I always pursued relationships that were doomed from the start — was it on purpose? As if I knew that there stood no chance of something normal, that my being the slayer would hinder it, so I chose something that was a flickering flame from the start, needing only a little breeze to let it die. There was only so many times that I could put the blame on my slaying, on others, and maybe it was time to face the true root of the problem — that, maybe, it was me. That maybe, the girl with the heart on her sleeve had to die, so the Slayer could live.

#✦ MarkedDrabbles

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