#Let's just say my current friends have called ger toxic and when we were studying the rise of Mussolini and Hitler in history

[dandelionflowery]

I have to convince my brain that sending my friends posts about how much I love them is a good thing and that it won't impact our friendship negatively.

And that's because last time I did that, I started in spring and didn't see them over the summer vacation and then got violently dumped from the friendgroup.

Now the people I'm sending this stuff to are the one who's been my friend for years, despite only seeing each other rarely, the one who decided after consideration and a lot of heated texts that the reason I'd been dumped was dumb and that maybe our friend wasn't so great, and the one who's been my friend loyally since we met and who was part of the "problem" with the original group and who's ended up being the best friend I've ever had.

And I know these people won't lovebomb me, they're not her, they're so much more different than her in every way.

I had been hesitant about sending her posts about like "gives you a little kiss on the forehead", because I'd never done it before, but I soon realized how fun that is.

Now, because of her, I'm scared about sending that kind of thing to the people who aren't absolutely toxic.

How long will my friendship with her impact my life? How long will I have to think twice about helping people, for fear that I'm helping "the wrong people", for fear of her wrath

And why did I accept that in my life for two whole years?