#Lee jinwoo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

omegaxlore · 1 year ago

Text

마음이 - 이진우 / 젠

word count: 3001 trigger / content warning(s) : n/a

Jinwoo’s parents thought they had hit the jackpot when Jinwoo was born. He was a silent baby. He cried only for a moment when he was born into the world. And he slept through the nights mostly. He would never cry when he was hungry or needed something. He would squirm around instead. So his parents had to listen for little movements to wake up. But that did not last long. After three months, infant Jinwoo started sleeping through the nights without waking up.

He was an easy baby and his parents were so grateful, and a little braggy, about how perfect and easy Jinwoo was.

That all changed the first day they took Jinwoo to the park. At two and a half years old. The playground was filled with other kids. That’s when the voices in his head started. Jinwoo put his hands over his ears and started screaming. Of course everyone freaked out. The voices in Jinwoo’s head got worse. His parents immediately took him to hospital.

After a full examination, the doctors found nothing wrong. But every time he was able to, Jinwoo would cover his ears. The voices in the hospital were worse. He didn’t understand most of them, but he cried and cried the pain in his head was too much.

A middle aged male doctor asked if he could try something. He left and returned with headphones and a small music player. He put the headphones on his head and turned the music on.

The voice were still there but they were almost drowned out by the music. Jinwoo stopped crying and calmed down. He focused on the music and relaxed a little.

“How? What?’ His mother asked.

“My child has the same issue,” the doctor explains, “I still don’t know what it is, or how to stop whatever it is. But I found that having headphones on with music is the best remedy. Put plain noise canceling headphones won’t work. They need to be with music. Preferably instrumental music.”

His parent’s stare in wonder then look back to Jinwoo who is sleeping on the large patient bed. Exhausted from all the voices and stress.

“How long will this last?” Jinwoo’s father inquired.

“I wish I knew. But I’ll keep you guys updated if you would like if I ever figure anything out,” the doctor offered them a business card then parted ways.

A solution was never found. The doctor died when Jinwoo was fifteen and even then there was nothing, but more remedies that could help with Jinwoo’s unknown condition. Jinwoo did them all, meditation, yoga, listening to music, quiet getaways, everything. Nothing ever solved his issue.

Despite his parents having a medical note from that doctor his headphones were constantly confiscated in school. Most of the time Jinwoo would pull out earbuds and hide them under his clothes and hair. But the confiscation got worse after the doctor died. But by then Jinwoo could handle the voices somewhat. There were days when it was bad, and other days when it wasn’t. Sometimes Jinwoo would even try to see how long he could go without his headphones. He made it up to three days before it got too much and it began to affect his sleep and school work.

Jinwoo actually hadn’t realized until he was in his fourth year of school that the voices in his head were everyone else’s thoughts. He never vocalized it to his parents, though, They were stressed enough the condition never went away and tried to take him to new doctors all the time. Until Jinwoo said it was getting better. Of course he was lying but every once in a while he would tell them he had bad days and needed his headphones around his parents and home. His parents worry lessened. All the talk about being an easy kid was out the door years ago.

However, on top of having everyone else’s thoughts in his head a new thing happened. It happened on the first day of school. The overwhelming sensation of sadness and abandonment. It was suffocating. Nobody wanted to leave their parents. At first Jinwoo thought it was just him. Because he too did not want his mom to abandon him wherever he was. But as the days and weeks went by Jinwoo would have all different mixed signals of emotions. He knew very well what he was feeling but everything else felt so suffocating. Of course he told his parents this feeling. They immediately called the doctor who had helped with his head. He too was baffled and thought maybe it’s just a new environment. So in a way, he was gaslit into thinking that was all in his head- how ironic.

Once Jinwoo figured out the suffocation of feelings came from those around him, he tried his best to tame the feelings. But they would just change from sad to happy, or from angry to calm. But the level of how much pressure it felt on him never dwindled. So he withdrew himself from everyone. He kept away. Kept his head down and did his work.

Convincing his parents every year to move him to online schooling was pointless. He tried every excuse in the book other than the voices in his head because he knew if he solely used that excuse he would just be dragged to doctor appointments. So Jinwoo continued on with in person schooling and even managed to finish school a year early. He wanted out.

Until he was truly an adult and could actually live on his own, Jinwoo worked and saved money to leave his house. He didn’t hate his parents but they can become so overbearing. Still constantly questioning about his head. That, and their thoughts were more overwhelming and annoying than most. He wanted out.

He took the first out he could. Moved away from his parents, and took up a new job at a local coffee shop within walking distance from his home.

He had dazzled his manager during the interview so well that he was able to work solely on making drinks and got to listen to his music. Of course he showed his new manager how well he was at making caffeinated drinks- a special talent of Jinwoo’s. Some of the drinks were so good that they were added onto the menu.

That’s the life Jinwoo decided for himself. Just for the time being too. He was still trying to decide what exactly he wanted to do with his life, if he needed more education, or if there is an adventure he needed to take.

But on one fateful day, everything got flipped around and a new door opened. Gotta hit rock bottom in order to go up.

“Jinwoo I need you on register today, take those earbuds out,” someone calls. Jinwoo turns to find a coworker he did not like.

“I don’t work register, you know that,” Jinwoo tells him as he finishes up on three different drink orders.

“Well Junyoung is out today, and that means I’m in charge,” his coworker smugly tells him, “and I’m telling you to work register.” Jinwoo side eyes his coworker. He takes a moment to think about what he wants to counter with. But then Jinwoo remembers that he’s up for a manager promotion- currently competing with said coworker- how he was listed as being in charge today, no clue.

“Fine,” Jinwoo tells him. He approaches the register and takes out his earbuds. He takes a deep breath. The voices in his head quickly get louder and louder.

“How may I help you?” Jinwoo forces a smile and begins taking a rather large order. He reads back the order, the customer slightly upset because a couple of the drinks were completely wrong. Jinwoo fixes them and has the customer pay. It was much harder for him to take orders because of everyone else trying to decide what they want.

Well of course every order becomes more and more mixed up and customers get angry, some snapping at him. The stress quickly builds up and he’s trying his best not to cry.

After another customer he looks down and discreetly wipes the tears from the corners of his eyes.

Jinwoo looks up once more, ready, and that’s when his eyes strike theirs. Everything in his head goes silent. Utter silence. Jinwoo’s mouth opens. The person softly smiles at them.

He stares at them for a moment, but snaps out of it. It’s pure enchantment.

“Ho-how can I help you?” Jinwoo asks.

“Just an iced latte,” they smile. Jinwoo taps away at the computer in front of him and rings up the total. The mysterious enchantment pays and walks away.

But even as they walk away- silence. No noise. Jinwoo watches them. Then turns back to the next person. He apologizes and takes their order. The rest of his shift before his break smooths over. No mistakes. No yelling. No angry people.

Jinwoo clocks out and he looks around the shop and spots them in a corner. A book on the table as well as a notebook- they write away in the notebook, doodling a little as well.

Jinwoo approaches them and sits in the empty chair in front of them.

“How did you do that?” He asks. The person’s head pops up. Once again, Jinwoo freezes as they make eye contact.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” they slyly smile.

“The noises in my head. The voices. The overwhelming sense of what others are feeling,” Jinwoo starts giving hand motions, “gone the moment I looked at you.”

“I’m flattered,” they smile, “I’m Poaegi.” Did they think Jinwoo was flirting with them? Because he very much wasn’t.

“I don’t want to sound rude,” Jinwoo awkwardly laughs, “but I’m not flirting or trying to get your number.”

Poaegi giggles, “oh I know. I’m just teasing Lee Jinwoo.”

“How did yo-”

“If you want to know how I did it and learn how to do it yourself,” Poaegi starts as they begin to pack up their things, “on your next day off come to the Ethereal Trove library.”

Poaegi stands up and quickly bids farewell to Jinwoo before leaving. Jinwoo watches them leave, never leaving the chair. But even as they left it still remained silent in his head. He couldn’t feel the emotions of those around him. Is this what being normal feels like?

Jinwoo manages to complete the rest of his shift. The noises never came back. The emotions never become overbearing. He clocks out and bids farewell to his coworkers.

The moment he steps outside the noise begins. Everyone’s thoughts fill his mind and the overbearing sensation of emotions fill him up. Jinwoo quickly pulls out his headphones and places them on, cranking the music all the way up. The faster he could get home the faster he could be in silence.

As Jinwoo was walking, someone happened to bump into him. His headphones pop off his head and the guy continues walking without apologizing. Jinwoo huffs. He picks up his head phones and puts them on just to find out they’ve broken. Jinwoo yells out in frustration. Then it happens again.

The silence.

Jinwoo looks around, hoping to find Poaegi. Instead he notices he’s standing in front of the very library Poaegi told him to meet them at. He hadn’t realized he walked by the library every time he came to and from work. Poaegi told him to come on his next day off. But could he wait that long? Was Poaegi even here?

Jinwoo risks it anyway. He walks up the grand steps and to the door. He pulls the handle and the door opens a crack. He slips inside, the door slowly closing behind him.

“I figured you wouldn’t be able to wait,” Poaegi’s voice calls out, almost teasingly. Poaegi then appears out from a bookshelf, carrying a large stack of books. They set them down next to several even large stacks of books before approaching Jinwoo.

“I-i just can’t do it anymore,” Jinwoo stumbles over his words once again. What has gotten into him. But he knew he freezes every time they made eye contact. He didn’t understand what was so enchanting about them.

“Follow me,” Poaegi motions before walking away. Poaegi leads Jinwoo through the mess of the library.

“Apologies that everything is a mess. Currently under reconstruction,” Poaegi laughs awkwardly, “normally I would take you to the large reading room but it’s a maze to walk through with all the books on the floor. So instead we will head into my office.”

Poaegi opens a large grand door and inside is an office that looks like it was pulled straight from a fantasy novel. Jinwoo looks all around admiring every last little detail- in his head he almost compared it to Belle’s library from Beauty and the Beast.

“Here it is,” Poaegi calls out. They pull a rather large book off the shelf closer to the desk in the back of the room. Poaegi approaches Jinwoo, who stands in the center where a small reading table and chairs sit perfectly- almost untouched.

“Sit, sit, sit,” Poaegi motions. Jinwoo plops down onto the chair and a cloud of dust pops up into his face. Quite literally untouched- the chair was stiff as if nobody ever sat in it.

“Read pages 4 to 29,” Poaegi opens the book for him, “it will explain everything. If you have any more questions afterwards. Don’t be afraid to ask. I have a couple things I need to finish working on, so I will be at my desk.” Poaegi walks away. Jinwoo cautiously looks at the book Poaegi left on the small circular table. He picks it up and sets it in his lap.

The edges of the pages are slightly torn and the paper is yellowing. How old is this book? Despite the condition, Jinwoo does as he is told. He reads.

Mind Ethereal.

What? Jinwoo looks up at Poaegi who is busy writing away in their journal. He looks back down and continues to read.

The Mind Ethereal was created by the universe on the idea that no one should ever have to be alone. After all, all Ethereals were created to help those who could not help themselves. The Mind Ethereal is the most unique Ethereal with its abilities as well as their Troval r\Relic.

Abilities: telepathy, echolocation, emotion reading, slight precognition

Troval Relic: an enchanted eye binder

The abilities of the Mind Ethereal are at limits without the Troval Relic. It has been found that only with the Troval Relic can the precognition work, but even then there are limitations. It has been found and studied that the precognition drains the life of the Mind Ethereal. However long they use that ability it gets taken off the life of the user. What can be seen through precognition seems to be random and not purposefully sought out.

Jinwoo continues to read about the Mind Ethereal, fascinated with what information the book was giving him. Half way through is when he realizes it- he is the Mind Ethereal.

Emotion reading has been the most overwhelming ability of the Mind Ethereal. It feels like suffocation without being suffocated. Emotions radiate off people like heat and it feels like a pressure over the body.

Jinwoo holds his breath. This was it wasn’t it? This was him. All of this reading. He continues.

Telepathy is the hardest ability to control. You simply cannot turn it off, but the noise can be drowned out. The sensation of hearing everyone’s thoughts at once is the same as a migraine. If one can endure the constant sound of hearing everyone’s thoughts for a long period of time they have the ability to withstand any noise. It is rumored that they also can turn off the outside world sound to their head- but it has never been done.

Jinwoo finishes reading and closes the book. He starts at the cover of the book. He notices his name engraved into the cover, under another name. Only two names are engraved in the book.

“What did you think?” Poaegi asks. His head shoots up and looks over at Poaegi whose chin rests on their intertwined hands, smiling over at Jinwoo.

“It makes sense,” is all Jinwoo could say. Poaegi is slightly shocked by his response.

“You’re not going to question the validity of anything you just read?” Poaegi inquires, their eyebrows raised. Jinwoo shakes his head.

“Maybe you will when I tell you more,” Poaegi leans back in their chair, “you only read the specifics of the Mind Ethereal, recorded by the previous Mind Ethereal before you. But what isn’t stated in this book is the backstory of the overall Ethereals. Why we were created.”

“But I read that it’s to help those who cannot help themselves,” Jinwoo answers remembering the line in the beginning of the book.

“Yes,” Poaegi nods, “while that is true. There is another reason. At least this time around. There is something monstrous out there. Waking up from a deep slumber… and it’s going to hunt down all the Ethereals.”

“So you want to stop it?” Jinwoo asks. Poaegi nods.

“But I need all the Ethereals with me to do so. I can’t keep everyone safe if they are not with me,” Poaegi explains.

“What is this monster?” Jinwoo asks.

“I don’t know,” Poaegi sighs, “my parents didn’t tell me much before they died. So I’m left in the dark. It’s what I’ve been trying to figure out for years as well as finding all of you.”

The two sit in silence for a moment.

“Will you help me, Lee Jinwoo?” Poaegi asks, voice just above a whisper as if they are afraid.

Jinwoo stands and walks over to the desk.

“I don’t know why,” Jinwoo starts, “but I think I’d follow you to the end of the world. So yes. I’ll help you.”

#kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #omega x #omegax #omegaxlore #lee jinwoo #xen #omega x xen

12 notes · View notes