#Knowing her mom is one small piece of her past jfc

[shallanspren]

Anyway, the way Sanderson decided to conclude Shallan's arc was stupid as hell and infuriating as fuck. We were promised answers regarding her and her past that we absolutely did not get. I'm absolutely livid.

[nightwingshero]

Full bingo angst answers for Wren please! 💋💕

Thank you, baby!!! Kinda hitting it where it hurts today, huh?

TW: Mentions of self-harm, alcohol abuse, and child loss...just kinda...it’s angsty. Sorry guys. 

💙 What would your OCs last words be (or if they’ve died what were their last words)? What were their final moments like? How did they die?

Probably...man, knowing Wren, she’s gonna go down fighting and defending a loved one. She...Wren will use her Wrath to draw the attention to herself, even if she knew it was a battle she wouldn’t win--sacrificing herself to give the other person a chance. Her last words...would be deep and meaningful, something that would hit hard. She would either quote something with a deep meaning or something so pure from the heart...I could also see her saying “Free...I’m finally free.” Or maybe being excited to see her mom again. 

💧 What’s the worst pain your OC has ever been in? Mental or physical? What was the cause of this?

That’s a toss up between her father blaming her for her mother’s death/being mentally and emotionally abusive or the car accident and losing the baby. Both had Wren spiraling in very different ways, both still giving her nightmares to the point of insomnia some nights. Then also losing John later in life. It hits her hard to know that her life partner died sacrificing himself for their son, and that he’s just...gone. It’s hard for her to bounce back from it. 

🔷 Has your OC ever had to leave something behind or abandon something they didn’t want to? Have they ever had this happen to them? How has this effected them over the years?

There’s a locket, a gold locket with a tree on it, that her mother used to wear before she died. It was one of the things she held onto dearly after her mom died, because it was pretty much all she had. Her father got rid of most of Lily’s things, including the piano, and so Wren clung to it through her childhood, drawing strength from it. It “mysteriously” disappeared after her father found out about it, just a few days before she left for college. In turn, she stole her mother’s ashes to scatter them, but it still haunts Wren. It had a picture of the two of them together.

🔵 Has your OC lived through any particularly traumatic events? Does this event (or events) still effect them or have they tried to bury it? Is there a reason why this event is so traumatic for them?

JFC, where to even begin? Honestly, the cards are stacked against her in the worst way, I feel for her. The biggest ones would be abusive childhood, losing her mom, unhealthy relationship with college professor, the horrible car accident, the drinking problem that followed...Wren tries her best with it, truly. It still effects her, mostly through panic attacks (triggers) and her nightmares. She will fall into depressive episodes as well. Most of the time, she will bury it though, like, she’s guarded--if you’ve been through some shit, you could probably pick up on it, you know? But with anyone else, you can’t tell. She hides it well. 

❄️ What is (one of) their biggest regrets or biggest mistake they’ve made? Is there anything they can do to fix this or is it so far gone there’s no point anymore? Is this something they dwell on a lot?

Wren...Wren is on the path of learning what she can and can’t control, and it’s...going as well as it can, because she has such a control issue. She tries to tell herself to not dwell on the things she can’t control...but the thing with Wren is that she needs to feel in control. The biggest ones would be the college professor and the path she took after the car accident. Wren hates giving parts of herself for it to be taken for granted or advantage of. She also sees the alcoholic chapter in her life was a little too close to her father than she cares to admit. But well...you can’t fix the past. 

💦 Does your OC have any self destructive habits? Addictions? Urges? What is the cause of these or the reason for them?

Wren used to have a drinking problem, mostly because of an emotional thing versus having to have alcohol. She just used it as an outlet, but most of the time, it just lowered her walls and made her more emotional in a self-destructive manner--depressive, angry, and antagonizing. She would start fights, which is why she got in trouble and got her shit together. Wren internalizes too damn much, overthinking and jumping to conclusions based on her own observations because she’s not one to trust someone else’s intentions or words. While Wren isn’t judgmental, she’s very open minded and accepting--she can be quick to judge in cases where you’ve invoked her wrath. Did some shit when you were young? Who hasn’t, I still care and accept you. You just crossed and betrayed me? I’m going to make it my personal goal to make life hell for you-- She also has a tendency to use her wrath to push people away and then close off, hurting them both in the process. 

🌊 What is your OC like at their most depressive? In the middle of a breakdown? Having a panic attack? What are they like with dealing with anxiety and stress?

Wren during a panic attack starts with her not being able to formulate actual coherent sentences because her mind is going so damn fast, and her hands shake. Her muscles will stiffen, making her super tense and she shuts down mentally. Most of the time, she will curl up on the ground (in the corner of a room, etc) with her legs hugged to her chest, forehead against her knees. Mostly to hide her face and to make herself as small as possible and to provide herself some sort of comfort (sometimes she’ll grip her hair, too). If someone catches it (if they know what to even look for), they can intercept and help kinda deter it. But Wren internalizes, closes herself even more, buys a ton of whiskey or wine, and just sits with her dark feelings. They consume her easily, which is why she usually tries not to drink when she’s down, it makes it too easy to spiral. Wren handles stress the best she can, but she internalizes that too. Anything negative has a chance of coming out in the form of wrath, so she can be a bit...yeah.

☄️ Does your OC struggle with their emotions and trauma? Do they find it easier to open up to strangers or those close to them if at all? Do they tend to hide their pain from everyone?

Wren struggles hard. Like, she has a harder time coming to terms or understanding the why behind everything, and has a constant struggle with her desire to change what happened that her emotions and traumas don’t fully get resolved. She’s so desperate to be free of it, but there are times where she’s holding her own self prisoner for it due to guilt and heartbreak. She will never open up to strangers, she doesn’t trust people easily, you have to have earned your way close to her before she’s confiding in you. She hides her pain (or tries to) from everyone, including herself. You have to actively pursue Wren and be supportive consistently for that to spill from her mouth.  

📘 Write a sad journal entry, an unsent letter or short sad drabble. + bonus, give a theme!

A piece from Wren’s journal while going through therapy:

"I wish...it starts off normal, and it’s inconceivably misleading, but it draws me in anyway. Then...then its sneaking up on me, so before I know it, I’m in the deep-end, drowning in something dark and sticky, feeling as if it will become my second skin and suffocate me in the process. That’s when I start to hyperventilate, desperate and clawing to find the surface, but I can’t. I start crying, my chest constricting in panic. I turn...I turn and I see an open door, the inside is even blacker than what’s around me and I slowly start getting pulled back into it...and he just watches--laughing and taunting. I cry more, because there’s nothing else to do. Until the hand...it grabs me and yanks me back...I wake up then, screaming and panicking before the door slams shut. I take a shower once I wake up, because I can feel the hand, I feel the darkness on my skin. I don’t sleep most nights. Not anymore.”

🔹 Does your OC have any scars? What are the stories behind them? Do they have any mental scars? Talk about the effects of their trauma in general on their day to day life.

*Nervous Laughter* Scars....alright...so, Wren growing up would often resort to self-harm to cope, unfortunately. She avoided her wrists and opted for her inner thighs, aiming to hide the marks better. Once hitting college, she moved on from it, until the car accident. She started again once she spiraled, even using it a bit as she stopped drinking. It didn’t happen too often, just in major low points. She dropped it completely after she started going to therapy, learning to try and find healthier coping mechanisms. Wren’s traumas come out daily in the form of her having to be in control of herself and situation at all time. She’s the one driving, she makes her own choices, she sits on the outside in booths at diners and whatnot, having the option to leave when she wants. Wren hates feeling trapped and is super claustrophobic because her dad would lock her in the basement or her room for hours at a time. She buys a Jeep so she has the option to remove the top and the doors, everything in on her terms. You don’t touch her unless she wants you to, you don’t come visit her space unless she wants you to. Things like that. 

[whatadaze]

your fics are getting me through these painful times :(( could you please write about the time noah and liv actually get engaged?? i need some happiness in life rn

jfc can skamnl just keep getting renewed so we see this happen 

when it (almost) happened

After mingling with their friends, Liv and Noah manage to sneak back upstairs to their room. They haven’t had time alone together, with Noah busy in art school and Liv spending most of her time with her music, their schedules seemed to clash constantly. 

But Liv had been planning on throwing a party for Noah’s birthday for months now and even though she had given him a gift this morning, she still had one more to give. 

Liv fiddles with her phone before opening the door to their room and when they finally enter, a song begins to play.

At first, the sound of a guitar strumming,

and then a familiar voice.

Liv watches Noah slowly recognize that this is one of her songs—one that he hasn’t heard before. 

He smiles down at her and pulls her to their bed. Liv wraps her arm around his waist and rests her head on his chest. 

Noah closes his eyes and silently listens to the song Liv had worked on for so long—the reason for all those late nights and long days in the studio.

All for this moment. 

After the final strum of the guitar, Liv props herself up on her elbow and sees that Noah is already looking at her.

“I love it,” he says, playing with a stray curl. 

“Really?”

He nods, letting go of her hair and pulling her towards him. 

“Really really,” he whispers, before bringing her lips to his.

The kiss is sweet—

a silent thank you,

I love you,

I missed you,

everything they didn’t have a chance to say for the past week. 

When Noah pulls back, Liv uses that time to catch her breath.

“Liv?” 

His eyes shift to the bedside table and back to her. 

“Liv,” he says again, grabbing her hand. “I-”

“There you guys are!” 

Ralph barges into the room, a bottle of champagne in one hand and a kazoo in the other. 

“It’s time for the cake!” he shouts. “And we can’t have cake without the birthday boy!” 

He points at Noah with the kazoo before placing it in his mouth. He begins to blow out the tune to “Happy Birthday” and Liv shakes her head. 

“We should go,” she laughs. “Before Ralph drags us down there himself.” 

Noah glances at the bedside table one last time before nodding his head. 

“You’re right. Let’s go.” 

*****

when it (finally) happened 

“Fuck,” Liv mutters, rifling through her desk before crouching down onto the floor and scanning under their bed. 

She had left the music sheets at home but she didn’t know where the hell it was. 

She checks every drawer, every shelf, even under all the pillows. 

Liv finally opens the drawer to Noah’s bedside table—knowing full well that it wouldn’t be in there, but by now, she’s desperate. 

And that’s when she see’s it. 

Tucked in the back of the drawer.

And she would’ve missed it too, had the drawer not gotten stuck as she tried to close it. 

But it did get stuck.

And she did see it.

Tucked in the back of the drawer,

a small black box. 

It’s one of those rare nights when they’re both at home. 

Liv’s already in bed, watching Noah move around in the bathroom. His hair is wet and he uses his hand to wipe the condensation off the mirror. 

Her eyes flicker to his bedside table and then back to him.

And she can’t stop the smile on her face,

surprised by how she felt when she saw the box. 

For all she knew, the box could mean nothing.

There could be anything in there, 

but in the back of her mind, Liv knew. 

They had never talked about it, but they never needed to. 

Both of them were happy with the way things were and they didn’t need a piece of paper to prove anything.

But for some reason, watching Noah brushing his teeth in the bathroom—something she’s seen countless of times—brings a wave of emotion over her. 

She couldn’t imagine doing anything else for the rest of her life:

Getting ready for bed, 

with Noah in the bathroom brushing his teeth,

the warmth of his body when he slides into bed,

breathing in the smell of his shampoo.

“Noah?” 

Liv turns to her side just as Noah slides in beside her. He grabs the notebook from under his pillow and begins one of his nightly sketches. 

“Hm?”

His eyes are still glued to the page, focusing on his pen’s delicate strokes. 

“Let’s get married.” 

His hand freezes and he finally turns his head to look at her. For a moment, he’s silent, shutting his notebook and setting it down beside him.

“You saw it,” he says, rubbing his face. 

“Saw what?” she asks, biting back her smile.

A laugh escapes his lips and he tilts his head back, hiding his face with his hands.

“I knew I shouldn’t have put it in there,” he groans. 

Now Liv is laughing and she pulls herself up to sit on his lap. She lifts his hands away from his face and laces their fingers together.

“I didn’t think you were the ring buying type,” she says, a wide grin on her face. 

“I’m not,” he tells her. 

And then the smile falls off her face and she realizes that she was wrong.

It wasn’t a ring.

She just assumed it was and now she was an idiot and now Noah thinks that she expects something out of him when she doesn’t and-

“It was my mom’s,” he clarifies, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “I um…well it was the only thing of hers I asked to keep.” 

A shy smile graces his lips. 

“And if you just waited and didn’t sneak around-”

“I wasn’t sneaking!“

“I could’ve asked you myself.” 

Noah lets go of one of her hands and reaches over to the bedside table. He opens the drawer and pulls out the small box. When he opens it, Liv sees a simple silver band tucked inside. 

“So will you marry me?” 

And the words bring a memory she had almost forgotten back to her mind.

Of her in his bed,

the sun creeping in through the curtains,

the soft melody she had sung that morning,

and the question she never answered. 

Noah stares at her expectedly, but there’s a hint of doubt in his eyes. 

So Liv finally answers the question, 

the same one he had asked her all those years ago. 

“Of course I will, weirdo.” 

[wannaonestars]

soulmate! park woojin

in a world where everyone has a different way of connecting with their soulmates, yours is a tattoo of the first words you hear your soulmate say

it’s been there since idk when and like a lot of your friends also share the same method as you and they complain how theirs is WAY too generic like smh ur pal megan’s dated like 6 ppl bc they all said “hi” to her

and then there’s you who would rly rATHER have the word “hi” than “sexy baby oh my lady”

liKE LISTEN.....THESE STUPID WORDS HAD GOTTEN YOU SO MUCH SHIT AND EMBARRASSMENT

elementary school: EWWW YOUR WORDS ARE SO DIIIRRRRTTTYYYY

middle school: LMFAO UR SOULMATE’S GONNA BE A FUCKBOI

and don’t even mention your parents LMFAO when they saw those words on your collarbone they were sO distressed ur mom was like omg honey she’s gonna marry a STRIP P P E R

LIKE JFC WHEN U DO MEET UR SOULMATE U STG U WERE GONNA KILL HIM

ahem and now one day you were with ur friend megan who insiSTED on making you watch produce 101 with her

@ readers: ;)))))))))))

she’s like omg u need to watch it they’re all so cute LMAO MAYBE ONE OF THEM IS UR SOULMATE which you were like yeah sURE

and you’re watching and watching and going “damn he cute” every once in a while and yall get to the group evaluation and ur watching and watching and suddenly

“sexy baby, OH MY LADY”

you: wHAT

megan: SCREECHING

after yelling and being in shock megan was like you NEED to meet him

megan: i’ll break laws and sneak you into their dorm if I have to

you had no idea how to approach this bc??? HE’S AN IDOL????????? so u just kinda left it alone.......

and one day you’re boarding the train back home and you’re standing in that area in front of the door and you’re scrolling through your phone and then the train suddenly screeches to a stop and the dude next to you sorta bumped into you

he mumbled a quiet sorry and pulled his cap down a lil

and ur like wait. why are you familiar..... and you suddenly lifted his cap up to get a view of his face

woojin’s face was stunned bc??? ARE YOU A SAESANG FAN?? and you took a deep breath and just went “dammit, it’s really you”

and his eyes gets even wider and he stares at you for a moment and he opens his mouth to say something when he realized his stop was here

he hurried out and as he’s walking away he turned back to catch another glimpse of your face and time just...seemed to had stopped at that moment when you and him looked right into each other's eyes

when the door closed woojin touched the area on his neck with his tattoo and could only think “dammit, I couldn't even ask for their name....”

his heart’s beating fast and he really, really needed to just.....see you again

when you got home you did like a whole bunch of research on park woojin and his entire profile and maybe it was a psychological effect from knowing he’s your soulmate but....well, he’s attractive

meanwhile woojin was freaking out at the dorm and ended spilling to jihoon what had happened and jihoon put a hand on his shoulder and was like bro.....that’s great.....but it’s 5am and you've been talking about that person and describing the train incident for the past three hours......................

the next time you met woojin was at a supermarket

the group was filming something with all the cameras and stuff everywhere and woojin was playing along with all the stupid jokes when suddenly he saw...you

he mumbled a fast sorry and broke away from the group and hurried over to you

you have your eyes wide and your lips a bit parted when you saw him run over to you and he’s breathless as he racked his brain for the best words to say

“am I—am I your soulmate?” he asked.

without speaking you just....pulled down the top of your shirt a bit to let his see your tattoo

and his face burned when he realized that it was really him and that omg you must've had such a rough life with those words on your body so he just blurted I’M SO SORRY

and you had to laugh bc...he’s so awkward and cute and you pulled a small piece of paper and a pen from your bag and scribbled your number on it and put it in his hand

“just contact and talk to me soon,” you said. “and then we can see about the apology.”

and that moment is just when woojin had this weird voice in his head that was like damn u lucky af boi

when he ran back to reunite he got scolded SO much and he apologized a whole bunch and the manager gave him the evil eye the whole day >:((

he stood with jihoon to continue with the next segment and jihoon elbowed him a bit and whispered “was that worth it?” and the boi put a hand on the pocket with the paper in it and got this stupid smile dancing on his lips and just said “...yeah”

p.s. imagine woojin kissing the tattoo on your collarbone that you had hated so much before

[chara-killer-bear]

ALL U TRASH BEAN

1. What is you middle//full name?

Alias: Sally Janches

Real Middle Name: Jane Deveza

2. How old are you?

15 turning 16 in 4 days

3. What is your birthday?

January 27, 2001

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Aquarius uvu

Chinese zodiac would be the snake~

5. What is your favorite color?

Redish-pink or a really dark shade of blue

6. What’s your lucky number?

4 or 8 or 16

7. Do you have any pets?

A cat named Peter and a few goldfish that are floating about in the tank atm :”)

8. Where are you from?

Santa Clara, California

9. How tall are you?

4′9″ to 4′11″ sadly :”)

10. What shoe size are you?

flats it’s a 3 or 3 ½ and with sneaker it’s a 5 or a 6–

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

More than 25 that’s for sure–

12. What was your last dream about?

Last dream was something revolving around some fantasy plot– I forgot what most of it was- but the only thing I remember was that I was tryna exit the dream or something and this wizard is all like “in order to escape you need to forget” and I’m like “lmao let’s get this over with”

13. What talents do you have?

- Whistle

- Went through the suffering process of drawing

- Be a meme

14. Are you psychic in any way?

For some reason through dreams–

Y’know in all honesty I remember there was this particular vision I had in the middle of 6th grade and still traumatizes me to this day but you’d probs have to bug me a bit before I actually tell ya

15. Favorite song?

- Jenny by Studio Killers

- Say You Like Me by We the Kings

- Pretend by Bad Suns

- Rather Be by Clean Bandit

- Dead Hearts by Stars

16. Favorite movie?

- Coraline :”)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

@static–things​

18. Do you want children?

Only the future will tell–

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Not sure–

20. Are you religious?

Just a bit– But not one of those hardcore religious people– Just a lil–

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

A few times– Although mostly because I was a small child and I kept getting sick a lot–

I remember we had to perform surgery on me when I was a toddler because there was something wrong with the gums on my teeth

I was really close to going to the hospital when I was around 8-10 because I was struck with a really high fever and my body was close to dying, until my mom force fed me to eat a whole bunch of healthy foods, I threw up many times, and the next day I was fine. According to my mom, I was in that bad of a condition probably because my grandma kept starving me from food when my fever began.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Got scot-free though

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I would say the Prince of India, since my uncle’s sister is married to him and I was at their wedding– I was probably around 7-8 at the time though

24. Baths or showers?

Showers :”)

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Pink

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nah– I’m just your average nerd who just needs Internet to live :”)

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Nah–

28. What type of music do you like?

I really don’t have a particular type of music I like– 

Well, except Christmas songs– If they count–

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nope.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

0-1 

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I think it’s called fetal position???

32. How big is your house?

1 room

1 living room

1 kitchen

1 creepy ass hallway

1 bathroom

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Mostly I don’t even eat breakfast, but when I do it’s just mostly things I can cook fast, like pizza or ramen–

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Sadly nah :”)

35. Have you ever tried archery?

:”)

36. Favorite clean word?

Oh my goodness–

or

Oh golly goodness

37. Favorite swear word?

F U CKITY FUCKERTONS

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

1 week :”)

39. Do you have any scars?

Yeah– burn scars; one each on my arms and one on my ankles–

I’m pretty sure I have a scar on the back of my neck–

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I don’t know- do I?

41. Are you a good liar?

I’m not even sure anymore–

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Maybe??? I’m not sure???

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Sorrey eye onley spek Engliph

44. Do you have a strong accent?

Meh– Not really–

45. What is your favorite accent?

ENGLISH ACCENT OR MAYBE SCOTTISH

46. What is your personality type?

ENFP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Honestly this coat I have lying around that’s around $40–

I probably have another article of clothing that’s much more expensive than that but I can’t name any atm–

48. Can you curl your tongue?

T A C O T O N G U E

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Ambidextrous!

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Nah– I find them interesting~ 

52. Favorite food?

SPAM M A S U B I

53. Favorite foreign food?

PALABOK

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

If I were a clean person I would know where tf my Kindle is now :”)

55. Most used phrased?

- jfc

- G OLLY GOODNESS

- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

- Hello darkness my old friend-

56. Most used word?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

A good 30 minutes of me actually getting ready :”)

58. Do you have much of an ego?

At some level, but not egoistic

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Bite :”)

But whenever I’m working on something mostly I just suc

60. Do you talk to yourself?

H eh, well according to @static–things​ apparently I do–

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Every day :”)

62. Are you a good singer?

Nah

63. Biggest Fear?

h EI G H T S

64. Are you a gossip?

Not sure–

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I guess There Will Be Blood? There’s probably a more dramatic movie I watched but the first thing that popped up when it comes to drama is There Will Be Blood

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Meh– 

Both?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

1- California

2- Texas

3- New York

4- Oregon

5- Washington

6- Idaho

7- Wisconsin

8- Utah

9- Colorado

10- New Mexico

11- Oklahoma

12- North Dakota

13- South Dakota

14- Kansas

15- Arkansas

16- Maryland

17- Massachusetts

18- Nevada

19- West Virginia

20- Vermont

21- Pennsylvania

22- Montana 

23- Tennessee 

24- Wyoming

25- Michigan

26- New Jersey

27- New Hampshire

28- Ohio

29- Hawaii

30- Alaska

31- Florida

32- Louisiana

33- Illinois

34- Nebraska

35- Missouri

36- North Carolina

37- South Carolina

38- Iowa

39- Kentucky

40- Indiana

41- Alabama

42- Georgia

43- Virginia

44- Connecticut 

45- Delaware

46- Rhode Island

47- Maine

48- Minnesota

Aaaaaaaaand I’ll end it there

68. Favorite school subject?

HISTORY AND ENGLISH

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

I’d like to say both–

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope :”)

71. What makes you nervous?

Many things:

- anxiety

- the ever-so impending fear of people leaving me, people hating me, etc.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Nope–

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sometimes–

Mostly just to be an ass lmao

74. Are you ticklish?

Yep :”)

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

… h eh

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Nah– I’d panic if that happened though

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Nope–

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Hell nope–

79. Who was your first real crush?

First real crush would either be this guy named Aaron or another guy named Lam

80. How many piercings do you have?

2- considering they’re ear piercings

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrojo

82. How fast can you type?

Last time I checked it was around 72.9 WPM

Lemme check again

87.9 WPM

83. How fast can you run?

Faster than the chaser that’s for sure–

84. What color is your hair?

Dark brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Well one thing for sure is hot dogs–

I swear, redirecting to 21, my fever started because of this hot dog I ate at Target-

So in summary of chain of events, first I ate a hot dog at Target with my grandma back when my hot dog allergy wasn’t as bad as it is now- and before my grandma drove me to her workplace(because back in the day my dad was no where to be seen, my mom had to work, and since I had no where else to go to after school, that’s when my grandma stepped up and decided to take me to her workplace every after school despite her boss telling her she can’t)

After my grandma drove me from all the way to Rosemead to LA where her workplace is at, I felt like dizzy and sick for some unknown reason at the time but thought it would pass. There was this room that was dedicated for my use only in my grandma’s work because no one used it, and it had a huge couch. So I pretty much crashed on that couch, waited for the dizziness to pass, and slept. 

Next thing you know it, I woke up and in an instant I threw up both on the couch and on the carpet floor(which would explain why a few days after they got rid of the couch and the stain on the carpet remained forever as this black blotch among the original red hue of the surrounding carpet. They were bound to get rid of that couch anyways; my grandma always told me that it used to be owned from the past establishment it was before it was an eye clinic- which was a morgue. So basically not only did I sleep on a couch that was sat on doctors sucking the blood out of dead people, but it could possibly be soaked with dead people’s blood.)

Right after that happened, I kept hurling in the bathroom, and when it came to the time where my grandma had to leave the clinic, my grandma gave me a bucket for me to throw up in case I do- and pretty much the following night I felt like shit- couldn’t breathe most of the time, felt hot everywhere, absent from school for at least a week or so because I felt that horrible, and almost had to go to the hospital, but ironically felt better when I threw up after my mom force fed me food. 

87. Do you keep a journal?

Not anymore– Unless notes on iPad and Chromebook count–

88. What do your parents do?

Secret~

89. Do you like your age?

16 MY FAVORITE NUMBER

90. What makes you angry?

- If someone hurts any one of my loved ones

- Bigotry

91. Do you like your own name?

Meh- Could change it to Sally

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Not really–

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Maybe girl~ It’s not like I really care that much though, girl or boy or nonbinary, I’ll still love them the same

94. What are you strengths?

BE A M E M E

95. What are your weaknesses?

Not sure–

Depends from person to person I guess–

96. How did you get your name?

Honestly my mom thought I was going to be born a Capricorn, and since she had way too many bad experiences with Capricorns, she thought it would be a good idea to name me a name that sounded “spunky”, which is a trait she kinda disliked. However jokes on her, I was born late, thus I turned out to be an Aquarius, and now I turned out to be a smartass. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Don’t recall so–

98. Color of your room?

White/Beige

99. Color of your bedspread?

Can’t say for certain– I would say either white or patterned–

100. Make up your own question

Favorite type of milk?

Strawberry milk~

[shenanigumi]

Actual First Impressions: HakuMyu LIVE 2, Act 1!

Also contains some of Act 2 for reasons. Prepare for a LOT of rapid-fire half-asleep chocolate-high thoughts, consolidated into a single super-long text post to avoid spamming and/or oversqueeing.  Good luck disentangling my observations from my emotions long enough to make any sense of either…

Atsuku Ikiro => SAMURAI Future => Yaisa! Yaisa! Yaisa! – I love this song! It’s catchy as hell and everyone gets a verse and—WAIT IS THAT SAMURAI FUTURE?!?! They’re actually quoting music from the original run?!?! Oh hey it’s Yaisa except oh my god this instrumentation is fabulous. Pieces with traditional instruments and modern beats (or really any genre of music not typically set to a modern beat) is my not-so-secret weakness. That’s why electro swing is my favorite musical genre. AAAAHHHH THIS IS SO BEAUTIFULLY ARRANGED

Sidenote: The original cast can hold their own during solos, but get them all together and they’re nothing super-special. Conversely, the new cast sounds AMAZING all together, but with a few exceptions, solos seem to be their weak points. I’m still severely biased toward the original cast in most cases, but I won’t deny that I ADORE the group numbers with the new cast.

[interlude] – Huh, the audience is even more involved than usual… must be an unwritten rule of HakuMyu that Souji is a total attentionwhore. Is that Kazama and Shiranui in the background? Are they gonna reuse the “where are they” gag from the first LIVE? Oh wait. Oh wait… What the hell is happening? What are they giving Kazama, and why? Is that pocky, or something? No, that can’t be pocky; it’s too thick. But it is edible, judging from the fact that Shiranui is feeding it to him jfc please you two or else I’m going to start headcanon-ing that Shiranui hits on Kazama to make him uncomfortable whenever he steps out of line

Okita’s song (???) – …oh thank god another musical number to break up all the confusion and awkwardness. Except I don’t really recognize this? Either it’s new or it’s from Reimeiroku since that’s the only one to which I paid like, negative attention, since I hadn’t even seen the anime and had no connection to most of the actors and. yeah. nice shoutout to his part in “SAMURAI Future”, I guess, but made somewhat less awesome by the fact that they already performed the real thing. also oh Souji you just have to blow the audience a kiss at the end too, you know you’re the favorite. ugh. insufferable child.

[SKIPPING AHEAD TO] Hisuru Hana – …my mom’s watching this with me and she really doesn’t care about most of these guys, so I’m gonna see if I can’t find Kazama to make it worth her while till she goes to bed… oh hey that’s Kazama in a demon mask isn’t it. OH HEY THAT’S HISURU HANA ISN’T IT. OH HEY THEY’RE BRINGING IN MORE SONGS FROM THE ORIGINAL RUN. OH HEY HE SOUNDS A LITTLE ROUGHER THAN USUAL AND HIS MOVEMENTS AREN’T QUITE AS SMOOTH AS IN HIS OWN MUSICAL BUT GOD DAMN.

Harada’s song (Shinsengumi Kitan) – HOLY FUCKING SHIT HARADA AND CHIZURU ARE CUTE TOGETHER HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD HE’S LIKE 50 MILES TALLER THAN SHE IS AND HE’S CARRYING HER AND HE’S DANCING WITH HER OH MY GOD HIS SONG IS LONGER NOW AND THEY’RE SO FUCKING ADORABLE THANK GODS HARADA IS GETTING A MUSICAL YES PLEASE ALSO WAY TO SUBSTANTIATE MY BULLSHIT SUPPOSITIONS THAT THEY’RE A THING IN SHINSENGUMI KITAN

[Interlude] – lolol hey it’s the idiot trio what if they do “Asonde Bakka Jyanai Ze!”?! …nah Harada already had some time in the spotlight but… wait, do Nagakura and Heisuke have any songs, just the two of them…?

Jiyū ni Narero Basho – YES, YES THEY DO! ANOTHER FAMILIAR TUNE!! One of the ones I always forget I love, too. Heisuke—good job, kid. You may not be Ikeda Junya, but I’ll allow it. Nagakura, I am thoroughly unimpressed with your voice thus far. I need to do a comparison gifset between Toudou-hen and this choreography tbfh, so much of it is a direct parallel. oh hey Heisuke’s stomach is growling!! hahaha wouldn’t it be funny if they used that to transition into—

HUNGRY GUYS => mealtime number (Shinsengumi Kitan) – FUCK YESSSS THEY’RE DOING IT!!! I LOVE THIS NUMBER OMG YES oh too bad they didn’t put the fish gag in though. Wait, did they rip this out of “Twist and Shout” by the Beatles? Oh no that’s just the transition into the roughly equivalent number from Shinsengumi Kitan. Damn they sound good together.

[Interlude] – GOD DAMN IT YOU TWO YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING TO MAKE ME SHIP RYUNOSUKE/CHIZURU JUST BECAUSE OF THIS SCENE JFC YOU’RE BOTH SO GODDAMN ADORKABLE but my mom doesn’t really care too much about Chizuru or most ships so let’s just keep right on going

[SKIPPING AHEAD WAY TOO FAST TO]—

Me: *MAKES LOUD AND SUDDEN GROANING NOISE* Mother: [annoyed] What?! Me: SHIRTLESS SHIRANUIIII Mother: …Oh.

[GOING BACK TO] the obvious femservice scene (Shinsengumi Kitan) – [here are the few semi-coherent thoughts I can remember] – fuck off Okita with your stupid suggestive water bucket – I guess at least he gets to participate this time? – please hit him with that fan Yamazaki – HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S SHIRTLESS SHIRANUI – HOLY SHIT – HOLY SHIT – OH MY GOD – TAKE ME NOW – oh hey also Ryunosuke who also has a literal six-pack but has to appear weak for the sake of characterization – SHIRANUI WHY ARE YOU FEELING UP HARADA – PLEASE DON’T TEMPT ME TO SHIP YOU TWO EVEN MORE UNIRONICALLY – CAMERA PLEASE – CAMERA – ZOOM IN ON SHIRANUI – PLEASE – YOU KNOW HE’S A GOOD DANCER I WANT TO SEE HIM DO THE THING – I WONDER IF HE SPECIFICALLY ASKED TO BE INCLUDED THIS TIME AROUND? – HOLY FUCK HOW IS HE JUST KINDA STAYING UPSIDE-DOWN THERE

[Interlude] – HE’S JUST CASUALLY DOING CRUNCHES AS KAZAMA ARRIVES ON THE SCENE – OF COURSE – PLEASE KAZAMA TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES – YOUR SHIRT – WHATEVER – I DON’T CARE – oh hey a watermelon ball, I guess that’s the new equivalent of the badminton scene? – NO SHIRANUI DO NOT PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON – KAZAMA PLEASE – SHIRANUI PLEASE – god damn it. [ladies and gents, my mother, voicing my scrambled thoughts – “I was kinda hoping it’d go the other way, that Kazama might…”] oh shit Amagiri’s missing again, isn’t he? Damn it, as much as I love that gag, I liked Naoya-san. Too bad he wasn’t around. But they’re probably not going to do Oni no Matsuei again, so… what next…?

Oni no Chikara – FUCK YES IT’S ANOTHER OF MY FAVORITES YES YES YES!!! wait, but if Amagiri isn’t here, why do I hear his theme—? Oh, I guess they’re just skipping it. never mind… oh and here’s Serizawa but at this point I’m really just interested in Kazama because my mom has to go to bed so

[SKIPPING AHEAD TO] Kazama’s new medley – aaaaaaaa exactly what I was looking for. Suzuki!Kazama in western wear. oh my fuck HOW can one person be so perfect. how. just. how. is it me or did they make his clothes even more form-fitting and sexier—? oh gods this is the intro to his musical!! and his singing is even more on point!!! oh shit I love that. oh hey now it’s his fight with Nagakura from Shinsengumi Kitan and they cut out his gorgeous wavering endnote on that one but whatever still a good theme. and—wait, they ARE doing Oni no Matsuei! that’s a throwback if ever I’ve seen one, but I am 100% all for more Shiranui so whatever. and—wait, “Kyōtō ~ Kyoran no Shi”? With half of Heisuke’s lines cut out? At least they slowed it down somewhat so the poor man can actually sing. And oh shit he was fighting Kodo? oh that explains why the end of “Sendai-jou no Tatakai” is happening now. and… oh gods now we’re at the end of “Bushi Toshite Ikiru Tame ni” and Hashimoto-san I love you dearly but did anyone tell you what notes to sing? NO, MOTHER, MATSUDA RYO WAS A BETTER SAITO BY A LONG SHOT, DON’T YOU DARE INSINUATE THAT HE WAS EVEN REMOTELY OFF-KEY. and ah good they’re ending it on the same set of notes, literally, as his first medley. nice way to tie it all together. good night mother

[GOING BACK TO] Saito’s song (???) – ah yes now I can record my reactions actually live instead of having to remember all that because my mother has gone to bed and I don’t mind interrupting myself. anyway this number is cool, but again, I don’t recognize it at all. did they hide it somewhere in Reimeiroku? but I like the shoutout to the instrumentation on “Don’t Forget My Style”. ok I can hear his Reimeiroku leitmotif now, so is this like, a small medley? also ok I know how childish and coincidental this is but I love that the last two lines rhyme like yessss

Hijikata’s song (???) – this kinda sounds familiar, probably from Reimeiroku. still never got the hang of Gaku-san as Hijikata, though; the notes get away from him sometimes, more often than the others I’ve heard. ya know, not that I could ever hope to sing any better while I’m doing that much but I’ve seen better Hijikatas in my day *adjusts hipster glasses*

[RELUCTANTLY SKIPPING PAST “HISURU HANA” ET AL TO] Chizuru’s song (Shinsengumi Kitan) => Ryūnosuke no Kaiko – Okay, I actually really like Chizuru’s little leitmotif, and she really does have a wonderful voice. Second or third favorite Chizuru for sure, after Tanoue Marina and tied with Yamamoto Sayaka. ooooh someone’s in loooove though, what with that Hijikata action in the background~ and OH YES THIS IS INDEED THE SONG I THOUGHT IT WAS WHEN I WAS FAST-FORWARDINGGGG oh goodness I love Ryunosuke’s little aria so much. plus the added percussion is really nice, gives it a sense of moving forward while retaining its prettiness—OH THEY ADDED MORE TO IT! and it’s so well staged! and why isn’t this man more on my butai radar I need more Shiramata Atsushi in my life. oh hey Yamazaki whatcha doing here? oh just running away I guess. it’s cool. see ya later?

[VERY RELUCTANTLY SKIPPING PAST MUSCLE SCENE ET AL TO] Gōgan Fuson’na Shi – I kinda love Serizawa? even though I also really hate him? I just feel like Kubodera Akira has a really awesome time playing the role, I mean, getting the audience involved and everything. It’s kinda cute in a super-twisted way, considering he’s busy burning everything to the ground and disrespecting everyone under the sun. seems like I have this problem with a lot of characters given that Kazama is much the same. actual favorite character, possibly actual least favorite person.

[Interlude] – here comes Kodo and… uh… THEY’RE SAYING ONE ANOTHER’S NAMES LIKE LOVERS? CRACKSHIP CONFIRMED? is there a word for pantomime that isn’t necessarily silent because I see a lot of that in butai and it’s really amazing (edit: I have since realized that pantomime is exactly the word I am looking for) and they’re physically echoing one another’s movements like a villainous courtship dance and OH MY GOD THAT HIGH FIVE AND EVIL LAUGHTER WAS REALLY CUTE A+ BROMANCE I SUPPORT THIS 100% also Kodo’s bald cap is treating him decently now

Hen Wakamizu no Chikara => Horobi no Sakebi – you cannot hope to beat Edogawa Manji in a weird-off. He is simply the best there is. What is even going on right now. He’s involving the audience in his villainous schemes and you know that pantomime thing, he’s the best at gesticulating, he really is, he’s so underrated and I have such a high respect for him and… oh, Chizuru hasn’t gotten over her emote-face, I see, and—WAIT WHAT THE FUCK. KODO-SAN WHAT ARE YOU WEARING AND HOW CAN YOU LOOK SO SERIOUS. HOW ARE THEY PLAYING THIS TOTALLY STRAIGHT WHEN HE LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS. ok maybe “respect” was the wrong word. In fact, I think I’ll just have Suzuki Shogo summarize the rest of this scene for me (since this is only the second most ridiculous Edogawa-san has looked while in-character):

Shinsengu Tanjō => Bushi no Michi ~ Ima, Kakugo no Toki [3] => Shinsengu no Michi [1] => opening track (Shinsengumi Kitan)? – ah good they’re including this. perfect!! one of their better chorus numbers, and that’s saying something—but wait—no—they’re cutting out too much of it! and now Kondou is singing Serizawa’s part?? what is this. oh but there’s Serizawa singing his beautiful little piece that I love way too much given his character. (lord help me I think I might actually understand why Ryunosuke lets him kick him around so much; the man is fascinating.) ok but all masochism aside, time to switch to sadism, since it looks like they’re gonna be killing him soon enough. and it’s well-staged, too; I love it when they do the slow-mo thing. also, yes, Ryunosuke, you can in fact sing him sweetly to sleep, ignore the fact that he’s literally trying to kill you and everyone around you. also I guess Serizawa had a semi-literal ‘Kick the Dog’ moment there huehue. and oh wow that silence was powerful. I seem to remember that being a thing in Reimeiroku too…?

[Interlude] – oh hey it’s Yamazaki. oh hey Ryunosuke that little scuttle backward you did there was adorable. oh hey you two are in really close range. oh fuck am I starting to ship this in the same way I ship Harada and Shiranui…? oh fuck. NO RYUNOSUKE BBY DON’T CRY but also thank you for distracting me from my newfound ship doubt.

Shinsengu no Michi [2] => Yaisa! Yaisa! Yaisa! (original?) – YES MORE YAMAZAKI ACTION BUT NO MORE YAMAZAKI DEATH WHY IS THIS HAPPENING but hey he’s okay now because of the Power of Chorus™ bringing Yaisa! back into the equation. I wonder whether it takes extra effort to sing different words to the same tune? because there’s a lot of that throughout the musicals, come to think of it.

INTERMISSION – HOLY SHIT IT’S YAZAKI MOTHERFUCKING HIROSHI AS A GUEST STAR BUT I REALLY NEED TO GO TO BED SO I’M GONNA HAVE TO SPLIT POSTS HERE AND HOPE YOU STICK AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO HEAR ABOUT ACT 2. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY. it’s just as well, I can feel my thoughts getting less and less coherent eheh

Sidenote: …this “literal first impressions” thing was kinda what I was initially trying to do with the much longer HakuMyu Shinsengumi Kitan review, but this is easier for me since it’s just getting all my thoughts down and out instead of trying to do anything even remotely constructive or clever with them. Hope you enjoyed anyway!