#Kix needs a break

[galaxyofjedi]

Lol poor Kix he’s trying

[elismor]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: CT-6116 | Kix, Original Clone Trooper Character(s) (Star Wars) Additional Tags: original clone medic Stim, Chatting & Messaging, Tired CT-6116 | Kix, POV CT-6116 | Kix Series: Part 5 of You Oughta Be In Pictures Summary:

Kix can’t seem to catch a break with a tractor beam.

This is the fifth story in the You Oughta Be In Pictures set and you might want to read them all (short, I promise) in order if you haven’t already.

With thanks to @cacodaemonia for reminding me -- yet again-- how to make the <pre> tag legible!

[jetii]

in honor of a follower milestone i thought i would gather thots on what fic i should post tomorrow! they’re all about 10k words and all include smut.

trying to keep a consistent schedule of posting at 6pm EST on Wednesdays moving forward 🤞

[spacingstars]

Sometimes, I find myself breaking down Kix’s character, turning over his traits, his patterns and behaviors… and more and more I find the personality construed by fandom for Kix to be so wildly jarring from what we do have of Kix.

Kix has, roughly, 17 minutes of screen time across the entirety of TCW, which, when compared to the likes of Fives and Rex, who clock much more screen time than most other clones, this doesn’t seem like a lot—but when you factor in most clones' screen time, we get a lot of Kix, and there’s a lot you can learn about him if you pay attention to the moments he does have on screen.

And to illustrate my point, and because I genuinely love Kix, I’m taking it upon myself to examine what we do have of Kix—both for my own purposes, creatively, and because I also happen to enjoy being neurotically intense about my favorite characters.

From “The Deserter” (S02:10) which is also Kix’s debut episode:

1. Kix speaks with a softer and gentler affliction in his voice compared to other clones (as seen with Jesse, who debuts alongside Kix and contrasts him in being more assertive.) I generally extrapolate this to be reflective of a softness that underscores Kix’s mannerisms. 2. When confronted by Suu, Kix doesn’t react with aggression of defensiveness (even if he’s also escorting an injured Rex and has a rifle pointed at him,) instead he opts to gently, and slowly, explain the situation, (in fact, Suu cuts him off and it is Jesse who has to explain, Jesse, who speaks quickly and in a more assertive manner than Kix did.) Kix’s tone is also likely influenced by caution. 3. The most notable scene in this episode that Kix appears in is when he’s tending to an injured Rex—I say notable because I think it informs much of how Kix treats his patients, even when they’re being uncooperative. Because in this scene, Kix is nothing but gentle an caring towards Rex, even when Rex tries to order Kix into letting him back into the fight despite the nerve damage he’s taken from the shot to his chest. When he pulls rank on Rex it is done so firmly, but kindly, and his face is one of sheepishness. If this scene shows anything, it’s that Kix is patient.

From Kix’s debut episode, what can be described about his character is that he’s much more reserved and gentle in comparison to the much more assertive personality of Jesse—from his mannerisms to the tone of his voice. He will be firm, but he is not unkind. He also shows patience towards his patient, even when said patient is, initially, being uncooperative.

From Umbara (S04:07 - S04:10) which is when Kix gets the most screen time:

1. The first moment of note Kix appears in is when he raises concerns to Rex about the pace Krell has had them marching at, that this pace is taking its toll on the men and they need to rest. Kix raises these concerns respectfully, secondly, Kix is doing his duty as a medic, which, is fundamental to his character, finally, Kix cares about those around him and he does what he can to ensure the welfare of these men. (And also, I think it’s quite telling that Kix doesn’t press the issue after Krell scolds them for it, as noted before, Kix does not have an assertive personality.) 2. When Kix is taking care of an injured clone he’s dragged into cover Kix retains his professionalism and keeps himself together even under stress. Kix comforts his patient instead, and I think it speaks of that gentleness I keep mentioning that Kix says, “You’re gonna be okay, buddy, this’ll ease the pain.” Kix is comforting, and he holds himself together under stress because he has his brothers to take care of. 3. I think it’s also notable that when Torrent is starting to express their distrust in Krell, though you can tell Kix is beginning to get frustrated with the treatment of the men (expressing that with Krell’s plan, casualties will be high,) his comments are not nearly has harsh as those of Tup or Jesse. Once again, Kix is shown to be more reserved, and I see it as him maintaining his professionalism in raising these concerns, even as he is beginning to grow frustrated with this poor treatment. 4. The note of Kix beginning to grow frustrated with the treatment of his brothers will be expanded upon throughout the Umbara arc; especially in light of Kix taking his frustration and horror out on the wildlife of Umbara for feeding on the corpses of his brothers. If I am to extrapolate, those dead clones serve as a reminder to Kix; a remainder that he, more and more, has been unable to properly care for all his injured brothers. These clones are a reminder to Kix of the brothers he could not save. This is the first crack within Kix, due to the stress of Umbara, and I have to emphasis, this is not Kix’s normal pattern of behavior. 5. Continuing the thread of Kix beginning to crack under the pressures of Umbara, there is a moment in Umbara where Kix is tending to an injured clone—one that’s in his arms, and this clone gets shot to death in Kix’s arms. This is directly Kix being unable to save a clone’s life despite being right there, because Umbara is that overwhelming—to such a degree that he’s forced to leave behind the injured in this moment, even if he can save them. And this is another crack in Kix’s composure, because he snaps at Rex, he drops his professionalism and his respect, and even resorts to barbed comments against Rex for ordering him from tending to the injured because Torrent needs Kix alive. This is not Kix’s normal behavior, this is Kix, stressed and crumbling under the weight of Umbara. 6. The last notable scene Kix appears in, and this is the moment where Kix finally breaks under Umbara’s pressure—it’s the moment where he starts haphazardly firing his blaster at the enemy. This is intended to be shocking—because this is not how Kix nominally acts, he’s in immense distress, and it takes Tup pulling him into cover to get him to calm down. Kix holds his composure for so long, and when he does break, he breaks hard. 7. To cap off the Umbara thoughts, though Kix does have more scenes, he is relegated to a background character for the most part—but, I can only imagine what was going through Kix’s head when he had, under the orders of Krell, fired upon other clones, it is completely counter to who he is, both as a person and as a medic, and I imagine it cuts deep—as it did for all clones involved in that moment, but for Kix… some of that hurt I imagine would be coming from how he’s meant to save his brothers lives, he’s the medic… and yet, in that moment, all he did was take theirs.

Umbara shows that Kix—who has been shown to be a respectful, kind, and helpful clone who just earnestly wants to do his duty in providing his brothers with the care he needs—is broken by an inability to help.

From the Chip arc (S06:01 - S06:04):

1. Not much to be said about some of Kix’s first appearances in this arc, as Kix is doing what he does as a medic (and expressing concern for Tup.) But the scene where Tup is in the infirmary, and Kix is confused about what’s wrong with Tup, I do think that Kix being willing to say that he can’t figure out what’s wrong, and that if they want answers, he’ll need to be sent back to Kamino, is indicative of Kix is aware of the limitations in his knowledge and is willing to humble himself. 2. This is more light-hearted scene (at first, anyway,) and is mostly conjecture on my part but I find it too amusing to leave out. That is the scene in which Kix is checking himself out in the mirror at 79’s. I do not think this is indicative of Kix being conceited about his looks—rather, I think it’s indicative of something else entirely in light of how he also talks in this scene. When he realizes someone else walks in, he talks with a deeper tone that I can only describe as Kix trying to present himself as being cool and mysterious. All the while he’s nonchalantly brushing his shoulders off. It’s so funny to me, especially when he realizes it’s Fives who just walked in, and immediately he tone switches to his typical inflection—and his mannerisms return to the typical ones we’ve seen of him. (Yes, I also think Kix had the haircut he does because he tries to present himself as cooler than he actually is, I imagine he grew embarrassed by this insistence given he grows it out later on—Kix is a dork, I said what I said.) 3. And yes, Kix immediately jumping to concern, before offering his help to Fives—even if his duty would insist that he turn Fives in because of the attempted assassination—I think, this is because Kix fixates on Fives’ distress, and he focuses on how to alleviate that stress, so even as it’s clear he’s confused by what Fives has gotten himself into, Kix still offers his help, and gives it freely in getting Fives in direct contact with Anakin and Rex at his behest. It’s a strong moment for his character, and his face when he asks what he can do to help… it’s so earnest. He’s loyal to his brothers.

And finally, there is the Echo arc of season 7, (S07:01 - S07:04):

1. When their gunship gets shot down, Kix is the first to notice that Cody was injured in the wreck and is trapped; I put this down to Kix being attentive and keeping track of the head count of the party he’s with, something done because he is the team medic and he is responsible for the well being of those around him first and foremost. 2. Then there is the scene at the campfire, which, firstly shows the bond Jesse and Kix have given the ease of banter between them and the comfort between them in their interactions. Secondly, I find it interesting how when Wrecker strangles Jesse, while Rex resorts to more direct action (trying to pull Wrecker by his collar,) Kix kind of just hovers, it’s a pretty… non-violent action when Rex and Jesse both jump to the defensive with the batch (Rex, even more directly, later on, when he actually punches Crosshair.) Similarly, even when Crosshair shoves Kix away, Kix shoves back before getting stuck in a headlock, and even after getting out of the headlock, at most he puts his hands on Crosshair to keep shoving him away. Generally, Kix is a lot less confrontational compared to either Jesse and Rex are in regards to the batch—which, circles around to my point of Kix not being as assertive, neither will he be overly aggressive towards allies. (This may be extrapolated as Kix refusing to take more direction action against another clone, given Umbara. But, that’s just extrapolation; a theory, a musing on motives.) 3. (Also yes I am aware that Kix makes jabs about the batch and I mostly construe this to be that Kix can be judgmental about others when he’s skeptical of them, I have my reasons as to why I’m not putting a lot of weight on this but it’s tied to a critique of the arc’s writing, which is not what this is about.)

In summation, Kix is shown, repeatedly, to be someone whose kind and helpful—what matters most to him is the care and well being of his brothers. He’s earnest in that care, and he’s got a softness that underscores a lot of his mannerisms and speech. He does his best to hold himself together for the sake of his brothers. He gets frustrated and breaks down in the face of mounting casualties and an inability to help his brothers. He’s respectful and professional in how he conducts himself as a medic, and even if he pulls rank, he’s firm but kind about it—he expresses patience in how he handles those under his care. Additionally, and in my own conjecture of his character, Kix tries to present himself as cooler than he actually is, suggesting a level of dorky insecurity to him. He’s also shown to lash out and make barbed comments when he’s incredibly stressed, and Kix carries judgment towards others when he’s skeptical of them.

What Kix is not is a hard ass medic whose sick of everyone’s shit, who berates and scolds his patients relentlessly—complaining about how they make his job harder. He is not quick to anger nor does he easily take his frustrations out on those around him—especially those under his care. He does not constantly throw his rank around to get those under his care to do what he wants.

It is a far cry from Kix’s character, and I think it’s a damn shame Kix’s actual character gets ignored in favor in fanon, because honestly, Kix as he is in canon is incredibly interesting—carrying a host of traits that can be explored and examined in their own right.

(Also, in quick references, I’ve narrowed down two videos that compiled Kix’s screen time across TCW, this one which clocks at ~14 minutes, and the second one with clocks in at ~17 minutes.)

[mori-does-sw]

CLONE CRUSHES: TORRENT COMPANY

PAIRING \ Torrent Company x GN!Reader (Rex, Fives, Echo, Kix, Hardcase, Jesse, Tup) SYNOPSIS \ How the troopers of Torrent Company act when they have a crush on you. WARNING(S) \ None AUTHOR'S NOTE \ This took me an insanely long time to finish, but here we are! Yes, the Mon Gala is a reference to the Met Gala. I am inordinately proud of it.

CAPTAIN REX

Rex is awkward—awkward around you when he realizes how strong his feelings are and awkward doing anything about it. He does more fumbling than flirting in the beginning, stuck in his head and panicking about it, but he gets more comfortable over time.

Give him a break, he’s doing his best.

Despite being standoffish in his affections, Rex is a gentleman and he’ll prove it to you in a million little actions. When you’re commuting through Coruscant, he’ll always walk on the side of you closest to traffic. If there aren’t enough seats of everyone at a group gathering, he would immediately get up and give you his. The second that you admit to being cold, he’s giving you some of his spare blacks.

Speaking of letting you borrow his clothes… seeing you wearing them for the first time almost breaks his brain. He just stands there and stares at you, eyes wide and head buzzing. All he can think about is how karking gorgeous you are, and how he can get you to replace your entire wardrobe with his stuff.

Later, he tells you that you can “just keep it”, and that he has plenty of replacements. He is not subtle at all, and thus deserves all the shit he’s going to get for it.

Rex doesn’t often show up to plans that aren’t mission-critical, not unless a few members of Torrent Company drag him along. Or, if he knows that you’re going to be there.

He could be at the Mon Gala, with all the most famous and wealthy beings on Coruscant, and he’ll literally just show up and talk to you the entire time. If he can’t, if he’s trapped in a conversation that’s actually important or you’re pulled away, he’ll watch from a distance until he can make his way back.

Rex knows his priorities. With a little luck, he might just become as important to you as you are to him.

ARC TROOPER ECHO

Echo’s feelings are pretty contained, much like the trooper himself, but the way he looks at you gives it all away.

You can be doing anything and he’ll be staring at you with literal heart eyes, but he can’t help it. You’re cute. He’ll watch you go about your life, perfectly intent until the warmth in his chest spills over and forces his gaze away to sort through his thoughts.

He’s on the other side of the damn room and you’ve somehow made him go all shy.

Echo’s observant—kind of has to be, as an ARC trooper—and he’ll catalog every habit of yours down to the littlest detail. A part of him craves the intimacy of knowing everything about you, something that fuels his quiet delight at being able to suss out what you’re thinking when others can’t. 

More often than not, his insight into you catches you off guard. Convincing others that you aren’t scared out of your mind is practically a job requirement, but somehow, you can never fool Echo. Not even your bravest face can convince him that you don’t need to lean on him, tell him your frustrations, or hold hands under the table.

Usually, Echo keeps to himself, a little closed off to anyone but his closest vode. But the minute you walk into the room, his mood immediately brightens. He’s quicker to smile and laugh; it’s like all his stress melts away, and that doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of Torrent Company.

Hardcase has sneakily captured more than a few clips of you two, edited over with so many pink filters and glitter hearts that you’re barely recognizable, and circulated them among the vode.

It doesn’t matter if Echo tries to scour them from the holonet, they become so well-known that clones from entirely different battalions will ask him about his cyare.

He's eternally grateful for the Prime’s dark complexion—you don’t even have to lift a finger to get under his skin. You fluster him too easily. He’s helpless but to forgive you, though, when you smile at him the way you do.

ARC TROOPER FIVES

Fives could care less whether other people are laughing at him or with him—he knows he’s hilarious, and that’s enough to satisfy his ego. The only person who makes him uncharacteristically self-conscious is, well, you.

Yes, Echo has (and will) tease him endlessly for this.

Whenever he’s around you, he’d feel an undeniable urge to do one thing: make you laugh. He cracks a joke and immediately peeks over to gauge your reaction. If he succeeds in making you chuckle, snort, or even just breathe a little harder out of your nose, he lights up. You’re gorgeous when you laugh, even more so when it’s because of him. He can’t help but double down on the bit until you’re too weak to breathe.

Complaining about your sides hurting only prompts him to apologize for “being too funny for you to handle”.

Fives is an incorrigible flirt on a good day, but when he’s around you it becomes 1000% worse. He’s guilty of every cheesy move in the playbook—pretending to yawn and stretch so that he can put his arm around your shoulders, asking you to “hold something” and taking your offered hand in his, or even faux-demanding that you kiss his injuries better. 

He means everything he says, but he’s very careful to make his overtures playful. Fives doesn’t want to scare you away if you don’t feel the same.

Being near to you puts him at ease, soothes an itch he didn’t even realize he had before you both met. He unconsciously seeks out contact with you all the time, pressing his knee to your under the table, bumping shoulders, playing with the fabric of your sleeves. Small things.

So, he’s touchy, and about half of the time he doesn’t even realize it. Why should he, when he’s always shared contact freely with his vode? 

Maybe he makes just one too many comments, gets a little too comfortable in your personal space, gives in to his desire to see you flustered—but when you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine, he’s toast. Smile a bit, touch him, and Fives goes from a cocky, formidable ARC trooper to a stammering cadet.

He’s kind of okay with his brain melting, though, because you’re so pleased with yourself. And although he’s hot-faced and grinning like an idiot, he’s your idiot.

LIEUTENANT JESSE

Much like Fives, Jesse is a joker—one of his favorite activities is making fun of you, and in a way that implies you’re the one who’s crushing instead of him. It’s merciless, especially when the rest of Torrent company catch on to the bit. Getting flustered only makes it worse, easier for him to tease you about “getting nervous around him”.

Watch what you say when he’s around, because anything that could be construed as innuendo will be. Ask an innocent question about if clone armor is hot to wear, and watch Jesse’s smirk grow as he says: “I think I should be asking you that, sugar.”

It’s kind of a way for him to test you, figure out how the idea of liking him affects you.

His vode discover his true feelings when he actually shares his food with you, sometimes without you even having to ask. It’s kind of mindboggling to see the same guy who threatened Kix for stealing his rations readily let you eat from his plate.

He’d be so happy if you shared your food with him, too. Even more so if you bring him things that aren’t rations. The closest he’s ever come to straight-up confessing his love for you is when you got a box of Mandalorian uj cake for him because he’d never tried it.

However, playful, joking Jesse can become a no-nonsense bodyguard at the drop of a hat. He has a protective streak a mile long, something that drives him to shield his brothers from allies and enemies alike, and more recently, you. 

Jesse is intimidating as haran, built like a tank and covered with tattoos, and it’s made so much worse when someone’s targeting you. He’s not afraid to get in people’s faces about it, either, over two hundred pounds of ARC fueled by rage and spite. A little “chat” is all they need to get them to apologize to you—though, in Jesse’s expert opinion, they don’t deserve your forgiveness.

All of his bravado melts when you quietly thank him for defending you. That’s his job, sugar, and don’t you forget it.

CLONE MEDIC KIX

Between carrying out his duty to the Republic and ensuring his idiot vode don’t keel over and die, Kix neither has the time nor the energy to be throwing himself at his crush. Even without his job running him ragged, he wouldn’t be the type—no matter how intense his feelings are.

Rather, Kix courts you. From a distance.

While Kix may not have much in terms of credits, he’ll do everything in his power to make your life a little easier; By virtue of his authority and near-legendary status amongst the troops, he has a lot of influence on his side. And if that doesn’t work, well… there’s many reasons why you don’t piss off a medic.

Little acts of service are it for him. Before you even get to the refractory, he’s set aside your favorite “flavor” of ration bar to ensure they don’t run out. If you complain about being tired, you’ll find an extra cup of caff—or a sedative—sitting innocently on your desk. 

Struggling with the mountain of stuff you’re carrying? Kix is hauling whatever items are in reach into his arms before you even ask for help. About to miss the turbolift? He’ll hold the door for you and glare at his vode if they complain too much.

Need a hand to hold during a procedure? Don’t worry honey, he’s got you.

Kix loves that you treat his time with respect, but sometimes getting you all to himself is a high-stakes negotiation. You’ll bicker back and forth, him insisting that no, you’re not intruding on him or his brothers, and you trying to reassure him that he isn’t obligated to hang out with you if he’s too tired or doesn’t want to be around natborns. He knows he isn’t, but you’re oblivious to how much he wants to.

Kix would get so slick about stealing you away. When he has the opportunity, he’ll casually strike up a conversation about field medicine and- oh, you don’t remember that training session? Well, he has a blank space on his schedule today and he’s more than happy to slot you in for a little extra help.

He’d be (quietly) over the moon if you decided to slip into his office and chat with him while he tears through paperwork or runs labs. While he fantasizes about hopes to take you out on a proper date someday, he’s content to bottle up your laughter as he complains about di’kute vode, hoarding the memory for the darkest moments of the war.

CLONE TROOPER HARDCASE

Congratulations! With Hardcase crushing on you, you’ve snagged a two-in-one deal: A personal hype man and an overexcited puppy.

In Hardcase’s eyes you’re superior at everything you do, period. He insists that you’re the best at your job any chance he gets, even going so far as to volunteer your name whenever some mission needs your kind of expertise—annoying, but it’s hard to stay mad at him for long.

Your competence is really attractive to him, and sometimes he forgets you’re not together and lets a few comments slip. Hardcase doesn’t even realize what he’s said after the fact, oblivious to the fact that your face feels like it’s been dipped in lava when he admires “how kriffing good you are at that” and how “hot” it is.

He praises you so much for doing the most mundane things, it’s like a compulsion for him. You could be helping tape him up after a battle and he’s making little observations about how perfect your wrapping is and how gentle you are with him.

Kix overhears this and tells him that he’d better go to you for wound dressing than the medbay, if you’re so much better at it. He just might, if that means he could get you to touch him again.

Hardcase loves your attention, and occasionally that translates into him being intentionally annoying. He’ll pop up all the time when he’s off duty, making himself at home in your office or at your side and bothering you to your wit’s end. He’ll hide your stylus and make you chase him around to get it, or he’ll call you acting as if he has something important to tell you and then manage to keep you on the line for an hour.

The second it seems like you’re getting upset at him, however, he cuts the crap immediately. If you’re not having fun, he’s not having fun, and he wants to make that abundantly clear to you in case… just in case it turns out you’re interested in him the same way he’s interested in you.

CLONE TROOPER TUP

Tup might not be as confident as Kix, or as widely renowned as Rex, or as charismatic as Fives and Echo… and that knowledge can weigh heavily on him. Thinking that, compared to his brothers, he doesn’t have much to offer you is part of why he hesitates to act on his feelings.

Take these thoughts with a mountain of salt—Tup excels at something else, and that’s being an absolute sweetheart. His patience is near-infinite when it comes to you. He’s always happy to explain something (however many times you need) and is the first to lend you a hand if you’re struggling.

Just don’t read too much into his full-body flinches whenever your fingers brush his, the way his words stumble when you get too close.

Being a standard, rank-and-file trooper makes it all the more difficult for him to even imagine catching your eye, but ironically, his status gives him unique opportunities. Doing grunt work around the ship means that you often cross paths, affording him the chance to say hello or strike up a passing conversation. If he’s lucky, he gets the chance to be beside you throughout his shift.

It’s useless to try and thank him for any of his help, he’ll just duck his head and insist that he’s more than happy to give you a hand. Your praise, however, has him sporting a smug little grin for the rest of the day,

The man melts under your hands like butter. You can convince him to do anything if you ask nicely enough, and on more than one occasion he’s left. He regrets it only when you’re half in his lap and doodling on his bare arm, too focused to notice his increasingly flustered demeanor even as you scold him for fidgeting. 

Privately, you worry that people are going to use Tup as a doormat—but if you mention it to the rest of Torrent, their hysterical laughter will shut you up fast. 

Don’t blame them too much, though. The last time Fives mimicked a whip cracking sound within Tup’s hearing range, he was applying bacta for weeks.

[stealingpotatoes]

In Skywalkers apart au do Rex and Anakin find Kix

on one hand it'd be lovely for kix to find and work with his family again, on the other hand he needs a permanent break from general skywalker's medical bullshit he can't do that shit again

[syndullqs]

𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 — 𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒌𝒚𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒆𝒓

summary — he gets injured during a mission and a confession is made…in a certain way

warnings — gn!jedi!reader, friends to lovers, fluff, mentions of wounds, kissy kissy

“𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋?” you pulled your hand away from his bare chest as he shifted again. the cuts and bruises on his chest weren’t terrible, but it was enough to need tending to.

“i’ve seen worse,” anakin challenged, shifting once more. his shifting wasn’t because of the pain, though that was part of it, it was also because he was half naked sitting in front of you.

“anakin, the entirety of the republic knows you have. they also know how terrible of a patient you are,” you bit back, using his stilled body to lightly press a bacta bandage over one of his larger cuts.

“what? i am not a terrible patient,” he insisted as he tensed at the bacta patch. you raised an eyebrow as he stiffened again.

“you’re proving them right with all of this squirming,” you huffed. you and anakin grew up together, trained together, even fought some campaigns together. you two were close, and this wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him shirtless. you didn’t know why he was squirming.

“whatever,” he huffed. his skin prickled with every touch of ointment and cold press of the cloth. you took thoughtful care of him, and he enjoyed watching you concentrate on his wounds. he didn’t know what was with him today. he usually sat pretty still, but he knew that he was talkative and stubborn. kix knew that firsthand.

something else stirred in anakin that day, though. the two of you just got back from fighting a campaign together on an outer rim planet, and that’s almost routine for you both. something else happened, though. something clicked as he watched you tend to your men and cut down droids. something clicked as he observed your exhausted expression, but still seeing the glow behind your eyes.

he was in love.

“you’ve gone uncharacteristically quiet,” you chirped as you continued patching him up. he exhaled as he looked down to survey your work. your touch still left fleeting tingles down his skin, more confirmation to the realization he had earlier.

"maybe because you're doing an awful job," he covered up his infatuation by insulting you. you shot him a look, eyebrow raised.

“you wanna do it yourself, flyboy?” you challenged him, the nickname leaving your tongue fluidly. while initially the nickname annoyed him, he grew to appreciate it. but only you could call him that.

“nope,” he happily answered, a boyish grin adorning his face. he watched as you rolled your eyes, your fingers carefully applying bacta pads to wounds and to bruises. you stayed concentrated, didn’t even budge when a piece of hair fell in front of your face.

he didn’t even think when he reached out and tucked that piece of hair behind your ear.

you flicked your eyes up to his, gazing into his beautiful blue eyes. anakin was always attractive, you’d always joke that he got too much attention, but he had yours now. his hand didn’t leave your face, instead his hand caressed your cheek. his fingers were calloused and rough, as you knew them to be, but against your skin they still sent shivers crawling down your spine.

what was this?

“can i help you?” you whispered, daring to break the silence. you didn’t move away from the warmth of his hand, but at the same time you were trying to restore some of the normalcy you had earlier.

“can you?” he asked in return, his eyes flicking to your lips. anakin’s always found you to be attractive, but in more ways than physical. you were gentle, but also a cunning warrior. you were intelligent, but still gave him a good laugh over inappropriate topics. you were kind, but still gave him a hard time when he definitely deserved it.

you straightened your back, but didn’t go anywhere. with a new boldness about you, you leaned forwards and captured his lips with yours. there was no thinking on his end, he immediately kissed you back. it was soft and gentle, your lips fitting together like two puzzle pieces. your heart swelled as you felt his hand cup your neck, bringing you closer. you broke the kiss to get comfortable, which for you meant situating yourself on his lap. you met his lips again, your arms loosely hanging around his neck. his hands moved down to your hips, holding you there.

he didn’t want this moment to end. the feelings of bliss, of finally finding the one thing he’s been looking for this whole time: you. you were his missing piece, his calm in the fire, his lighthouse in the storm. you were his rock, and he was utterly in love with you.

you broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck.

“how long were you waiting to do that?” you teased him, earning a scoff and him pulling his head away.

“bold of you to assume i was waiting,” he chuckled as he looked at you, admiring you for another moment.

“i think it’s fair to assume that you were, anakin, remember, i can feel everything,”

“really? i didn’t know that,” he replied sarcastically and you playfully smacked his arm.

“ha ha,” you responded, going to climb off of his lap. he pulled you back.

“in all seriousness, though, i’d been waiting a long time,” he hummed, pulling in for another, more passionate, kiss.

hehe i posted two fics tonight (one on my main one here) so i’ll say that’s being productive. i hope you enjoy some anakin! for being such an anakin apologist i don’t write much for him…guess i need to change that. anyways, enjoy!

[captn-trex]

a tricky situation

Kix x F!Reader

word count: 2.8k

description: you're used to the antics of the 501st as a mechanic aboard the Resolute, but one clone takes it too far. when pulling one of his typical pranks on you, kix does something you never expected.

warnings: angst, swearing, miscommunication, kinda enemies to lovers I suppose, blood & injury but not in detail, not really proof-read

a/n: I maintain that Kix is a massive tease, but also a massive softie so... here's this. feel free to tell me my characterisation is wrong, I'll probably agree with you

You were grumbling to yourself once again.

It was something you found yourself doing too often, and you worried that soon enough your colleagues would stage an intervention and send you to get psychologically evaluated. You weren’t actually going crazy, but sometimes it felt like it.

Being a mechanic that worked aboard the Resolute, you frequently found yourself at the mercy of the clones of the 501st. Everyday, there was some new trick, some prank they were pulling. Today, it was the classic hiding your tools that they did at least twice a week, sometimes even twice a day. It was the first of the day, but it still had you ready to pull your hair out.

There was very few of them that actually let you get on with your job, and they were unquestionably your favourites. Though, that only amounted to being Captain Rex and Dogma. The rest, were positively menaces.

You had already searched through their barracks, unapologetically waking a few clones up, you had been to the engine room, the control centre, and through every side room you could possibly find, and you still hadn’t found them. You could use the ones belonging to the other mechanics, but it was late at night, and there wasn’t anyone else working. You stood in the middle of a corridor with your head in your hands.

Where haven’t I checked?

It then occurred to you who would’ve played this stupid prank on you, someone who would also be up this late at night, and you ground your jaw. Kix. You stalked off to the medbay, and if anyone had walked past you, they would have seen the steam coming out of your ears.

There was something particularly irritating about the clone medic, something you couldn’t put your finger on that made him be able to get under your skin like no other. He didn’t even try as hard as his brothers, but every single conversation with him felt like a game, an infuriating dance of taunting and tormenting. It didn’t help that you found him to be the most handsome among his brothers. Perhaps that was the reason you found him so annoying, but you weren’t going to analyse that right now.

You kicked the door to the medbay open with one swift motion and stormed inside, a surprised look on the face of the one you were after.

“Kix, so help me maker, I will shoot you if you don’t give me them back now” You growled at him, and he stood, setting down the datapad he held on one of the cots.

“My dear, I have no idea what you are on about” He said, a small taunting smile gracing his lips.

You clenched and flexed your hands at your sides, “Kix, this isn’t funny, I’m on a deadline with this one. Give them back”

The medic came to stand in front of you and placed his hands on your shoulders, running them down to your biceps. If it wasn’t him that had made you so angry, you may have even enjoyed it.

“Give what back?” He asked plainly, and you shook your head, your teeth grinding together so hard you were positive they would break. Kix could see the flame of anger in your eyes that he so loved. Winding you up was certainly his favourite pastime.

“You know what. I need my tools”

“Why would your tools be here?” He asked, cocking his head to the side, then came in closer, “You do know this is the medbay, right?”

You rolled your eyes so fast they could have rolled out of their very sockets. You ripped your arms from his grasp, and stormed around the room, turning over every single thing and huffing to yourself when you didn’t find anything. Kix watched you with utmost amusement. He would have to tidy up after you, but it was almost worth it to see you so worked up. Almost.

“Alright, alright. Relax. They’re in the closet” He called, and you rushed to the door that he was pointing at.

You switched on the light, which afforded little more visibility, but you saw your toolbox sat on the floor just by the door. You picked it up as you heard the door slide closed, and turned to see that Kix had closed you in with him.

“Get out of my way” You huffed, giving him your best withering look.

“What? No thank you?” He grinned. That damn beautiful smile of his.

“Thank you? You must be joking”

“I helped you find your tools, I think I deserve a little something” He reasoned, and you let out a disbelieving laugh.

“And what, pray tell, do you think you deserve?”

“I was thinking something along the lines of… a kiss?” He suggested.

All of your insides constricted as the word left his lips, and you were frozen on the spot.

“What?” You almost whispered out, eyes still burning with some form of rage.

Kix smirked, “You see, I know you think you’re pretty slick, but I see you looking at me when you think I’m not paying attention-”

“I do not!”

You do.

“- and I know the reason you pretend to hate me so much is because otherwise you’d just be falling at my feet-”

“I hate you so much because you do things like this!” You argued, holding up your recently stolen toolkit.

“Is that right?”

It was then that you realised that you were only a hairbreadth from his face, your nose almost touching his. You breathed heavily, not daring to utter even one word for fear of losing your composure in an entirely different way. Your eyes burned into his with an intensity that you couldn’t control, and his infuriating smirk only made it worse. After a moment, his mouth uncurled from the taunting expression, looking at you only with interest and nothing else.

Your eyes fell to his lips, and he leaned ever so slightly forwards, brushing his nose against yours gently. Your eyes fluttered shut on instinct, and you breathed out shakily. Your mind was screaming out and silent at the same time, it couldn’t make sense of what was happening, and your heart took precedent, giving into whatever it was.

Kix then brought his lips to your ear, brushing back a piece of hair behind it with his hand.

“Gotcha”

You were immediately snapped from your trance and recoiled, a look of absolute shock plastered across your features. Kix just watched you with his knowing smirk, and your anger flared once again, but this time, it was underpinned by an emotion he wouldn’t have expected. Hurt.

“You’re a cruel man Kix” You seethed out as you shoved him aside, opening the door and storming out of the medbay.

He watched you go, his insides twisting with guilt. He had only meant to tease you, but he had taken it too far, and now you were actually upset. You were usually too mad at him to ever let any other emotions slip through the cracks, but now he realised that maybe he had just never pushed you to a breaking point before. He was foolish to think that you didn’t have a limit.

You fought to keep tears from spilling from your eyes as you finished your work that evening. You were so frustrated with yourself for letting your guard slip, and even more for reacting this way to what was really a stupid prank, and nothing else. It hadn’t occurred to you before that your attraction to Kix was anything more than that, but now that he had truly embarrassed you, you realised it was more deep-set than that.

You actually liked him, he was right, and he used it just to trick you.

“Hey, I need to talk to you” You heard a voice, his voice, call out as you were slid under a gunship the next day, your arms elbow deep in wires and grease.

“I have no interest in talking to you” You stated plainly, all emotion stripped from your voice.

Kix’s heart clenched at the sound of it.

“Please” He said your name in such a pleading tone, “I need you to know I-”

“Just can it Kix, I don’t want to hear it” You slid from underneath the gunship and looked up at him sternly.

He didn’t intend for this at all. In truth, it was him that really wanted to kiss you. While it was true, he had caught you looking at him sometimes, he had no reason to believe that it was because you liked him, and he only really said it to hopefully push you to a confession. Every time he had wound you up, it was just an excuse to see you react to him, to grab your undivided attention. It was a cowardly approach, making you confess before he did, but now he may never even get the chance if you wouldn’t let him.

“You don’t understand, I-”

“I understand just fine, you used my feelings as fodder for another prank, how surprising” You rolled your eyes, “Leave me alone from now on, if it’s not too tempting to try and embarrass me again”

Kix was floundering for the right thing to say, “It wasn’t a pr-”

“Fuck off Kix, can you not hear me?” You almost shouted, gaining the attention of a few of the nearby clones.

His amber eyes burned into yours. You could see he was sorry, but you’d rather let him feel guilty for what he did than accept any apology he could offer. As you stared each other down with an intensity to rival the previous night, you could feel your emotions getting the better of you.

“Just go away” You said quietly, sliding back underneath the gunship without another word.

You could see Kix hesitate, but you watched him ultimately decide to leave you alone, and walk away. You sighed, feeling your eyes well up with frustration. You were embarrassed all over again.

It had been a week since what the other mechanics were just calling ‘the incident’. They had no idea why you had shouted at the clone, and you wouldn’t tell them, but that didn’t stop them teasing you about it. A silver lining about the whole ‘incident’ was that the clones had started leaving you alone, and your tools had not been stolen once. It was certainly peaceful, and you were reluctant to admit that life now felt boring, for fear that the clones would all suddenly come out of the woodworks with the worst prank of them all. Not that they could top the one already pulled by their medic.

You hadn’t even seen Kix since said ‘incident’, but your head was still maddeningly filled by him. The most maddening fact of all being that it wasn’t your argument that was stuck in your head, it was the way he looked at you as he pretended he was going to kiss you. It had felt so real, so sincere, and as it kept replaying in your head you found yourself wishing to go back in time and just kiss him.

But that would do no good, it was still a prank at the end of the day.

You were working under a ship, your hands buried in wires and a tool between your teeth. You heard someone call out for you and sat up, whacking your head on the underside of the ship in the process, the tool falling from your mouth as you shouted out in pain. You vaguely heard the person shout something along the lines of ‘nevermind, got it’ and cursed them for speaking in the first place. You brought your hand up to your head and felt small trickle of blood, or was it grease?

Then there you were, grumbling to yourself once again.

You stormed off to the medbay reluctantly, but this time you had no intention of speaking with Kix. You opened the door forcefully with your shoulder and made a beeline for the nearest cot, rifling through the draws next to it for a bandage or anything else.

“What are you-” Kix had watched you come in, and was utterly perplexed by your actions until he saw the mix of grease and blood trickling down your forehead. “What happened?” He asked, coming over to inspect the wound.

You just stayed silent.

He said your name gently, drawing your attention and you glanced at him briefly, “What does it look like? I hit my head” You said, finally finding a small bacta patch in the draw. You took it and peeled off the back, sitting down to apply it.

“Woah” Kix reached forwards and took your wrist before you could place it down, “Let me clean that for you first”

You grabbed your wrist back, “I don’t need any help”

“The grease will only infect the wound” He said, grabbing the patch from you, “Sit still”

You glared at him, “I don’t care, I’d rather let it get infected”

“Well it’s a good thing I care then isn’t it” He replied, pulling out an antiseptic wipe.

You sat in silence with what he’d just said. Is this part of his latest trick? Kix gently grabbed your chin, tilting your head to get a better look at the wound. He brought the wipe up to it, “This is going to sting a bit”

And it did.

You hissed as the wipe came into contact with your wound, moving away from the clone inflicting the pain, but he just kept going until there was no more grease or blood dripping out of it.

“Wait here. Please don’t leave”

You watched him suspiciously as he moved away to retrieve something. He was being uncharacteristically serious and kind for someone who loved to tease you. He returned a moment later with some bacta and a bandage, and applied it without another word.

“You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were avoiding me” He said, the corners of his lips turning up at the attempted joke.

“Well clearly you don’t know any better then” You rolled you eyes.

He spoke your name in a soft tone as he finished applying the bandage, “That hurts” He said in mock hurt, a hand resting on his heart.

“Good” You replied instantly, looking up to his eyes to find him now looking at you seriously. He just watched you for a moment, and your own scowl softened slightly without your permission.

“I’m sorry” He said softly.

You bit your lip a little, looking away, “I know you are”

He brought his hand back to your chin, forcing you to look at him as he spoke, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I-” He gulped, “I wanted to kiss you”

Your heart leapt to your throat and your eyebrows furrowed, and then scrunched up, going through a million emotions at once.

“Is this a joke?” You asked, your tone hesitant and unsure.

“No” He said firmly, stepping forwards and finding himself between your knees, “I’m sorry for… the way I went about it. I only wanted to tell you that…”

You looked up at him with widened eyes, hanging on every word.

“I wanted to tell you that I have… feelings for you, and it- well, it all backfired” He chuckled slightly, and you let your mouth form a small smile.

“And this is real? You actually like me?” You asked once more for conformation.

“It’s real. I like you, I really like you” He admitted, his hand moving from your chin to cup your jaw.

You leant into his touch a little, and his heart did a flip, “I… I like you too, but I think you already knew that” You grinned a little and his lips formed the smirk that you usually found so maddening.

“I might’ve had some idea” He spoke teasingly, then stroked your cheek with his thumb, “Care to try that kiss again?”

You didn’t reply, and instead pulled him down by his chest plate to meet his lips with yours. It was a slow and meaningful kiss, both you and Kix making no haste and just savouring the moment. You felt him hum contentedly against you, and you smiled into the kiss, breaking away to catch your breath a little. He placed his forehead on yours, but you pulled away quickly when your wound began screaming out against the action.

“Sorry” He chuckled then placed a light kiss on top of the bandaged area, “There, that’ll make it all better”

You smirked, “Is that a treatment you give all your patients?”

“No” He smiled, “Only my favourite one”

[awkward-tension-art]

Bacta and Bandages Chp.5 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter 4. Chapter 6.

Blushing

CW: Slow burn, Two fools trying to ignore their crushes, Rex being cute, firing practice, target practice, Reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), reader is a doctor, if I miss a tag LMK!

Tag list (I am so happy people want to be tagged <3): @heavenseed76 @arctrooper69

Minors DNI

You had to be honest with yourself. 

Your aim sucked. 

As a field surgeon, you technically weren’t supposed to be anywhere near droids. Your main purpose was to stay behind the forces and perform surgery and intensive medical care to those with severe wounds.

Kix would be on the front lines and keep the injured alive as long as possible until he could get them to you. 

You could hit your targets, if they were big enough. Like a tank. Or if they were about 5 feet in front of you…

Ok, you couldn’t really hit your targets. You’ve been with the 501st for months now and you haven’t gotten any better. 

You debated going full clone trooper and just punching the droids. After all, the soldiers had just gotten proper armor for their hands. Maybe you could get a pair of armored gloves…

“Everything alright?” 

You perked up hearing the question from Rex, snapping your attention back to the present. You had zoned out, staring at the same datapad for several minutes now. 

Right, you had come to his office to help a supply crate mix-up. Someone hadn’t properly labeled the crates, so there were blasters mixed with medical supplies, and bandages mixed with armor…It was a mess. And to make sure nothing was missing, you and him were supposed to go over the numbers so no helmet or tube of bacta was out of place. 

You sighed, “Yea, just…thinking. That's all.”

The Captain raised a brow, silently encouraging you to continue.

Over your time with the 501st, you’ve been able to read Rex more than anyone else. You understood what he was thinking through his expressions. You could guess his feelings based on his stance and body language, even when he wore his helmet.

Perhaps it was your training as a doctor that allowed you to read him so easily. 

Or…maybe it was the growing affection you had for him.

It’s a passing crush, that's all. You told yourself, Clones aren’t allowed to have romantic relationships. This’ll pass. Don’t get your hopes up.

Shoving that thought out of your mind you put the datapad down, “I’m a terrible shot.”

Rex let out a soft and surprised chuckle at your blunt statement, “Well…you're technically not supposed to be.”

“No, I mean…even if I need to defend myself or the wounded…I miss almost every shot with a blaster.” You responded, “I’ve tried to practice but…I just can’t aim very well…”

He had a small smirk on his lips, “You can’t be worse than a clanker.” 

“I assure you, I am.” 

Rex laughed again, “I can teach you, if you want. Besides, I’m sure a break would be good for us both.” 

Your heart fluttered. 

“I’d like that.” 

Which is how you found yourself in the hangar, standing about 20 meters away from an empty crate with a painted target. There were scorch marks dotting the metal and yellow paint, indicating that you weren’t the first person to need aim training.

The makeshift target range was mostly out of the way and out of sight of everyone else in the hangar, offering some privacy.

“I didn’t know this was here.” You admitted, staring at the target. 

Rex shrugged, “Some shinies set this up. The General didn’t mind, so I kept it for anyone who wanted to practice their shooting.”

You nodded in understanding. Usually if something didn’t make sense, the answer was always ‘shinies’.

“Alright, now, pick up your blaster.” He took the tone of a commanding Captain. His arms were crossed as he watched you get your pistol ready. You wrapped your hands on your blaster, and got into the stance you were trained to be in. 

You didn’t even put your finger on the trigger before Rex spoke up, “Already, I see the issue.” he stepped towards you, putting his gloved hands over yours. He changed the position of your hold, moving one of your palms from the bottom of the grip to over your other hand. 

You blinked, “Oh, I was holding it wrong.” 

Rex had a relaxed smile, “It's a common mistake.” He stepped back and nodded, “Fire.” 

You pulled the trigger and the blaster kicked back as it fired. However, you managed to keep the gun relatively steady. Your shot missed the target, hitting the upper corner of the crate. With a sigh you looked over at the captain. 

He kept his arms crossed, “Focus on where you’re aiming. Where you look, that's where you’ll hit.”

With a steadying breath, you looked down the sights of your gun and pulled the trigger again. Your shot was closer to the target that time, however, still not a hit. 

“Better.” Rex approached again. This time, he got closer, putting his hands over yours and stepping behind you. You felt the plastoid of his chestplate on your back as he leaned into your body, “Raise the blaster a little higher and try again.”

Don’t get distracted. Don't get distracted. 

You swallowed and pulled the trigger. Again, your shot had gotten closer to the target, barely hitting the yellow of the first ring. Frustration hit you and you huffed. 

Rex laughed softly and it struck you how warm his laugh was. How lovely.

Stop it. Grow out of your crush, you're not some grade school student. You are a grown ass adult. Act like it.

“Just look at the target. Not the sights on the blaster.” The clone captain was rolling incredibly well with your failures. He kept his hold on you as you calmed your emotions to focus. You did as he told, staring at the bright yellow target meters in front of you.

With another breath, you fired. 

This time, you hit the target. Not a bullseye at all, but at least you hit inside the last yellow ring.

“Oh, hey I actually got it.” You perked up, smiling slightly. 

Rex, sadly, let go and stepped back, “Good, now do it again. I want to see you hit the target at least 4 more times.” He put his helmet on, crossing his arms to watch you. He was tense now.

You tried not to let his sudden shift in attitude bother you. He was probably worried that someone might turn the corner and see him so lax and uncaptain-like. Rex did have to be professional after all…

Still, you did miss the warmth he gave. 

Again, you pulled the trigger. Without him holding your gun steady, your shot veered slightly and hit the outermost ring, “That counts.” you stated, looking over to the clone. 

He nodded, “It counts. I’ll be nice this time. But just this once.”

You couldn’t hold back your grin and you shot again. Another hit. Still no bullseye, but you got closer. 

Hey, 3 for 3. One more.

Without getting over confident, you took a steadying breath and pulled the trigger. 

Again, no bullseye, but your shot landed inside the second ring. You were improving. Or this was just pure luck. Either way, you’ll take it.

You smiled and turned to look at Rex. He nodded in approval and stepped towards you, “Very good. You learn quickly. Better than most troopers who step off Kamino.” 

“Aw, you think I’m better than a shiny?” You joked, hoping to help him relax.

He huffed under his helmet, but you could hear the smile in his voice, “That’s not a high bar, Doctor.” 

“I’ll take the compliment, Captain.” 

He was about to respond when your and his coms both beeped. He answered his and you answered yours. 

“Doctor, there's a patient in the sick bay.”

“Captain Rex, you're needed at the command bridge.”

With a sigh, you shared a look with Rex and rolled your eyes. You gave him a grateful smile, “Back to work, then?” 

“It never ends.” He sighed, “If you want…if you want to practice again, just let me know.” 

Your answer was kind and sweet, “I will. Thank you, Rex.” 

As you parted ways, you tried to calm your beating heart. 

It's a crush. It's a crush. Grow up. Just grow up already!

Rex, on the other hand, kept his helmet on as he walked away, because he was certain he was still blushing like a damn cadet.

He’s a captain. Captains shouldn’t fucking blush!

[coffeeandbatboys]

Congrats on the follower milestone! And Thanks for the tag! 🥰

Can we do something like-

Character: Fives

Number: 7

Emoji: 😜

(This is such a cool idea!)

Thank you! No pressure, and no rush!

Oh. My. God. When I was making the prompt list I saw this one and immediately thought Fives. And then I got the damn ask 😂

Prompt: *tipsy* “Have you ever thought about porgs? I think we should think more about porgs.”

Warnings: Fives had a good time at 79s, Kix and Jesse make a cameo. Fives is a clingy lil shit. Reader is implied to be female.

270 follower celebration

About Porgs (Fives x Reader)

Your comm beeped on the vanity. Curiosity getting the better of you, you paused brushing your teeth to see who it was.

“Hey Vod’ika it’s Kix. Fives had a few too many at 79s so he’s your problem tonight. Jess and I will bring him over there soon.”

You shook your head with a smile, remembering the Medic’s rants about the last time Fives was drunk and staying in the barracks. Apparently he had kept everyone awake by singing a badly written love song about you.

You grabbed a glass and filled it with water, before pouring out a couple of painkillers to go with it.

“Force knows he’ll need it in the morning,” you muttered to yourself.

Not too long after the comm your doorbell rang. You opened the door to find Fives, partially supported by Kix and Jesse. He had a lopsided grin on his face and his eyelids were drooping just a little. He did light up when he saw you.

“Mesh’laaa!” He cheered.

You sighed, stepping out of the way so your ARC trooper could stumble inside.

“Thanks, boys. I got him all set up for tomorrow morning. He’s not catching a break.”

Jesse and Kix said goodnight and returned to the barracks, leaving you to deal with Fives.

“Alright let’s take care of your armor.” You ordered, pushing him into the bedroom. He sat down on the bed as you began to pull each piece of his kit off. Once you got down to the belt, something akin to the transition between confusion and realization flashed across his face and he gasped.

“Ohhh it’s like thattt.” He slurred,

You knit your brows together and feigned innocence, just so you didn’t have to give him the satisfaction.

You frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“C’mon Mesh’la.”

You stacked the rest of his kit at the foot of the bed. “You’re going to go right to sleep buddy. After you drink some water. ”

He pouted, but took a couple of sips anyway, then layed down. You returned the cup to the nightstand and turned the light off. For a second, you wondered if Fives was asleep because everything was quiet. But then-

“Have you ever thought about porgs? I think we should think more about porgs.”

That one threw you for a loop. You started laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the statement.

“What?” You wheezed.

“I mean why d’they scream so much? Poor things must be tr…tram…trama…scared or something.”

You flopped down on the bed and groaned. “Go to sleep Fives.”

“Jus sayin’”

“Fives–“

“Fineee.”

You felt him wrap his arms around you and bury his face in your neck, where he placed a lazy kiss.

“G’night Mesh’la.”

“Goodnight Fives.”

“Love you.”

You kissed his temple. “I love you too. Now sleep.”

He let out a deep chuckle. “Yess’m”

[mandos-mind-trick]

Jaig Eyes

Summary: Soulmates are forbidden among the clones. Yours just happens to be a certain Captain. Thankfully, he's not above breaking the rules sometimes.

Pairing: Captain Rex x medic!reader

Warnings: NSFW, smut, P in V sex, no foreplay, unprotected sex, some description of battles, wounds, slight blood mention, drinking, partying, Soulmate AU

A/N: Rex my baby, my boy, one of my OG faves. It's about time I wrote something for him. I'm a little delirious from the heat, but I'm still alive. This was supposed to be the first one of the series but Tech and Crosshair demanded more attention.

MASTERLIST

The explosions are loud, even with the tanks as far ahead as they are. Your adrenaline is pumping, but you keep breathing, keeping it under control. That’s why you were chosen for this position, after all. Your ability to keep control even under the most overwhelming, stressful situations. 

Your home planet got hit hard early in the war. Due to its location near four major hyperspace lanes, both sides of the war needed to control it, and that came at the expense of its inhabitants. Many people lost their lives in the brutal battle, both civilians and clones. There wasn’t much left of your home afterwards, most inhabitants of the city displaced. 

So you decided to leave and join the GAR as a medic. You already had the experience, and after doing everything you could to help during the invasion, you had decided to put your life plans on hold and join the army. 

Your ability to keep calm under extreme duress had impressed your instructors during your training, and so they had given you the title of combat medic, and sent you off with the 501st Legion. You had practically been thrown right into the field, not that you had expected much less. 

Kix, the clone medic you served under, had given you a brief tour and rundown on the way to provide reinforcements to the 104th. He had warned you that the area they were landing in was going to be hot, and to expect to jump in right away. 

You had expected nothing less, having already seen just how ugly the front lines can be. 

That’s where you are now, treating troopers practically as they fall. 

“The Captain’s down!” 

The words ring loud and clear through your comm, the energy of the entire battalion shifting. You have yet to meet any of the clone commanders, much less the Captain of the 501st. You had been thrown into this rather rapidly. There would be a time for introductions later. 

Your name is called through the comms, Kix appearing with another trooper, dragging who you assumed was the Captain between them. They lay him on the ground, the other trooper running back into the heat of the battle. 

“We need to stabilize him before we can move him.” Kix says, kneeling next to the Captain. 

You kneel on his other side, taking a look at him. His entire right shoulder piece is missing, an ugly wound oozing blood. It’s a nasty shot, but he’s lucky it’s not on the left. 

“Bacta.” Kix says and you hand off an injector from your belt. 

You move to take off his helmet, your breath catching in your throat. Your eyes are drawn to his helmet, above his visor. The marking on it. You knew most of the clones used some sort of marking to distinguish themselves. Whether it be on their armor, or tattoos, or hairstyles, they all had unique aspects about them to give them individuality. 

This one, though. This one is startling to you. 

Most species in the galaxy experience the phenomenon of soulmates. There are a number that don’t, but they are vastly outnumbered by those that do. 

How one is linked to their soulmate can vary. Yours just happens to be the identifying mark. A symbol or even a phrase that means something to your other half. Or, for the lucky few, an entire name. Most got them at birth, or some shortly after. Rarely were there huge gaps in age between soulmates. Given the vast dichotomy of species in the galaxy, fate wasn’t that unkind. 

Well, most liked to think it wasn’t. 

Your mark showed up eleven years ago. You had already been well into your childhood when you woke up one morning to find a symbol on your chest. You’d never seen anything like it before. After some extensive research, you came to learn they’re called  jaig eyes, a symbol used by Mandalorians for distinguished warriors. A symbol of bravery, tattooed over your heart in blue.

You had thought your soulmate might be Mandalorian, and so you had spent years planning and working towards a trip to Mandalore. 

Then the war started, and your planet was invaded.

The entire situation had left such an impact on you, you decided to push your dreams of Mandalore, and your soulmate, aside for the time being. If fate had paired you together, you would meet eventually. 

You hadn’t expected this though. 

Your hands are shaking just a bit as you grab his helmet, pulling it off. You support his neck, easing his head to lie in the dirt. His face is pinched as Kix ties a tourniquet around his shoulder. 

“I’m fine.” He grunts out, nose scrunching in pain. 

“The gaping hole in your shoulder says otherwise.” Kix says, injecting the shot of bacta into the wound. 

You grimace a bit, knowing how much that hurts. Your own fingers pull down his blacks, exposing enough of his neck to administer a stim shot. You can see as it begins to kick in, numbing the pain and giving him a boost of energy. His face begins to soften, body relaxing a bit. 

Kix calls for an evac, two troopers easing the Captain onto a stretcher before removing him from the heat of the battle. You clear your head, moving on to the next injured trooper. The battle isn’t over. You have a lot more work to do before you can think about this new development. 

****

You wipe your brow, body starting to drag as the adrenaline crashes. The battle had ended, but your job was only getting started. There was still a field of injured troopers that needed care, as well as a full med bay. 

“I’m impressed.” Kix says, finishing applying the bacta patch on the final trooper that needed care. “Not many nat-borns can keep going that long after being in the field.” 

You shrug. “It’s not my first time on the battlefield. My home planet was one of the first invaded by the Separatists. Most of it was wiped out by the battles. I learned very quickly to stay busy. If you’re not doing anything, you remember you’re human and you crack.” 

Kix puts a hand on your shoulder. “Go get some rest. We’ll be fine here.” 

“Thank you, sir.” You nod, heading off to the bunks. 

You hop in the refresher, wishing it was real water, but the sonic shower will do. You don’t let it hit you until you crawl into your bunk, letting the day wash over you finally. You’re shaking, silent tears rolling down your cheeks. You’d mastered the quiet cry a long time ago, not wanting to disturb your fellow medics getting some much needed rest.

You’re exhausted, but you’ve seen far too much today to let yourself rest just yet. 

You need to work through it. If you bottle it up, you’ll only explode later. 

You close your eyes, the image of the jaig eyes coming to the front of your brain. There was no mistaking it. It wasn’t the confusion of battle, or the stress making you see things. The Captain of the 501st has jaig eyes on his helmet, in the same shade of blue as the ones printed on your chest, right over your heart. 

This is going to complicate things. 

It was one of the first things you were taught in your training. Under no circumstances were clones allowed to initiate their soulmate links. If, by chance, one of them happened to be your soulmate, the link had to be rejected. If a clone was found to have iniated the link, they would be decommisioned immediately. 

It’s cruel, but you can understand why. 

The soulmate link is a powerful motivator. The clones were designed to be loyal, focused, and dedicated to fighting and winning the war. Many of the first generation of clones had deserted upon learning of their soulmate marks. It seemed even the most potent conditioning couldn’t overcome the yearning of ones soul to find its other half. 

Even the most loyal clone would turn their back upon meeting the soulmate. 

The thought of being rejected is terrifying. It’s a painful process for both involved. Some who have experienced it claim it feels like your body is being turned inside out, every cell on fire as your soul destroys the link. You remember every second of it, the horrible pain and the grief that settles in as you realize you’ll never be able to feel the same again. 

You’ll never be the same again. 

You can’t tell the Captain. He can never know. You can’t stand the thought of being rejected. Though the pain would ease with time, you’ll never forget it. You’d rather suffer through the pain of being so close but never initiating than feel the rejection of someone who may never have wanted to reject you. 

****

Time flies quickly now that you’ve established yourself amongst the 501st. The Legion is constantly on the move, burning through battle after battle with little rest in between. According to Kix this is very common, with the Legion going sometimes weeks without a break. You know it can’t be good for them, recognizing the exhaustion on many of the trooper’s faces and in their body language. 

You’re beginning to feel it too, tension knotting in your shoulders and the quality of your sleep has been declining. You know it’s not just the stress of constant adrenaline and work, though. Constantly being within close proximity of your soulmate and doing absolutely nothing about it has been wearing on you as well. You’ve spoken maybe ten words to each other when Kix had introduced you to the Captain after the first battle when you’d helped care for him. 

Since then, you’d only seen him in passing. 

It’s slowly driving you insane. 

You’ve grown close to some of the troopers, especially those that frequented the med bay for “unjustified reasons” as Kix liked to call it. It was his code for “they did something stupid and now we have to fix them.” 

You can’t really blame them for being a bit reckless sometimes. They deserved to have some fun every once in a while. 

“There’s my favorite medic!” A heavy arm slings around your shoulder, nearly making your knees buckle. You’d been in one of the storage areas, cataloging everything the med bay needed to stock up on once you landed on Coruscant. “Excited about shore leave?” Fives asks. 

“Actually I am.” You say, honestly. You had planned to book a hotel room and sleep off the stress. You hope the distance from your soulmate will help ease the tension that’s been building. 

“A bunch of us are gonna hit 79s. You should come with us.” Echo says, popping up on the other side of you. You had been wondering where he was, as the two were rarely far from each other. 

It’s a tempting offer. Losing yourself in a bar for a night might help ease the stress. Unless Captain Rex planned on being there too. 

“I don’t know...” You say, chewing your lip. “I was planning on just relaxing.” 

“Come on,” Fives squeezes you against his side. “It’s your first shore leave. Let us show you how we celebrate.” 

You almost say no, but perhaps spending time around others will help you feel better. Even if Captain Rex is there, alcohol can help you forget. Perhaps you could even find someone else, someone to help you forget. 

“Fine.” You sigh, but a smile tugs at your lips. “I’ll come with you.” 

They both cheer, giving you breath-stealing pats on the back. Sometimes they forget they have to be gentler with non-clones. 

“Meet you on the landing platform at 19:00 hours.” Five says. 

You salute him jokingly, making your way to the med bay with a smile on your face. 

***

You’re glad you thought to pack a dress for occasions like this. You’re also glad you packed a dress that covers your chest. The last thing you need is any of them seeing it. Would they report you? Would they tell the Captain? You’d like to think they wouldn’t. It’s not like you’d even been trying to talk to the Captain. 

You check yourself in the mirror, making sure your mark is covered before you make your way out of the venator. As promised, a small group of guys is waiting on the landing pad, some of them having dressed down while others are still in their armor. 

Fives whistles lowly as you approach, your cheeks warming a bit. “Looking good, civvy.” 

“I mean, I know you’re a looker but kriff, you clean up well.” Jesse says, nonchalantly giving you a once over. 

Your face feels hot with their attention and compliments, not used to being on the receiving end. “Thanks, guys.” 

“Come on,” Fives tosses an arm across your shoulders. “Let’s get going!” 

***

You feel warm, slightly buzzed as you make your way back towards the bunks. It’s late...or early depending on how you look at it. You’d had a good time with the guys. You’d danced and drank and laughed a lot. It was a good distraction, and it helped you decompress a bit. You’re exhausted, though, still ready to sleep the rest of shore leave away before you inevitably get thrown into another battle. 

It’s the alcohol that’s dulled your senses a bit, not even noticing the person rapidly approaching behind you until they’ve spun you around, pressing you back into the wall. 

“Fives!” You blink in shock up at Fives, his brow furrowed as he stares down at you. “W-What are you doing?” 

Your heart is racing as his hand lifts towards your dress, all the worst possible things flashing through your head. He’s a flirt, but you’d never thought he’d go this far. Your buzzed brain has just got it in you to call out for help when his hand tugs the neck of your dress to the side, revealing the mark on your chest. 

“I knew it.” He says, letting your dress fall back into place. 

“How did you-” 

“I glimpsed it while we were dancing.” He says simply. “I had to be sure.” 

You step away from the wall, adjusting your dress. “Well you could have just asked instead of giving me a heart attack.” 

“Sorry.” He says, actually managing to look guilty. “Why haven’t you said anything?” 

“I don’t want to get rejected.” You say. “I’d rather live with the pain of him being close than live with the pain of rejection.” 

Fives snorts. “He won’t reject you.” 

You blink up at him. “What?” 

A grin tugs at Fives’ lips. “He won’t reject you. Most of us don’t agree with the rule against soulmates, and we don’t plan on following it. Rex may be a Captain, but he’s not going to reject you just because he’s supposed to. If we followed the rules as rigidly as we’re supposed to, most of us would be dead already.” He puts a hand on your shoulder. “Talk to him. You never know when it might be too late.” 

***

Despite Fives’ admission to their willingness to bend the rules, you haven’t approached the Captain. Partly because you’re still afraid, and also partly because you haven’t had time. After the brief shore-leave, the Legion had been thrown into a long campaign that had been taking its toll. Many, many troopers were injured, and you barely got time to sleep, let alone do anything else. 

Like approaching the Captain about your soulmate mark.  

After two long weeks of grueling battles, it’s finally over. Well, at least the fighting. You still have an overflowing med bay to get through. 

Hours later, most of the troopers have been stabilized and on their way to healing. Kix sends you away, practically ordering you to bed. You don’t argue, your feet already dragging as you leave the med bay. You need a long cry and a nap, ready to crash. 

You hadn’t meant it literally, but it seemed fate was getting tired of your avoidance. 

You walk straight into a hard chest, nearly falling backwards. Hands steady you, and you look up right into the eyes of Captain Rex. 

“S-Sorry Captain.” You stutter, taking a step back. “I-I wasn’t paying attention.” 

“It’s alright.” He says, still holding your gaze. “I know you’ve been overwhelmed in the med bay recently. You’re all working hard.” 

You nod. “Yeah.” You continue to stare at him, the words bubbling out of you before you can stop them. “I need to speak with you. Alone.” 

He blinks in surprise. “Oh. Is there...something wrong? Is it one of the troopers?” 

You shake your head. “No, no. It’s...” You almost backtrack. You almost change your mind, but those soft brown eyes draw you in. “It’s personal.” 

He hesitantly leads you into one of the many storage rooms, making sure it’s empty. You hope no one walks in. You’re already nervous about bringing this up to the Captain. You’d rather not have to try and explain this to someone else. 

You turn to face him as the door slides shut, looking up into his eyes again. His face is drawn and focused, and you almost feel bad for throwing this on him. 

“I think you’re my soulmate.” You blurt out, wanting to get it all out in the open. 

His eyes widen in surprise. ���What?” 

You bite your lip, stripping off your gear enough that you can lower the neckline of your shirt a bit. You draw it down, revealing the mark on your skin. “It appeared almost eleven years ago.” 

He steps closer, staring hard at the mark. His hand lifts, his gloved fingers tracing over the lines of the jaig eyes. “The medic’s symbol.” He says, eyes still staring at the mark on your chest. “My mark, it’s the medic’s symbol.” 

You let out a long breath. Fate really does plan out everything perfectly. 

His hand leaves your chest, lifting to cup your chin. You step closer to him, your chests almost touching. How desperately you want to kiss him, to initiate the bond. You’re not even sure that’s what he wants. 

“I think I’ve known since Kix introduced us.” He says, his hand still holding your chin.

“I knew the moment I saw you on the battlefield, when you got shot.” You say. 

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” He asks. 

“I didn’t want to get rejected.” You admit. “I-I thought...but then Fives said-” 

“Fives knows?” He asks. 

You nod. “He saw the mark when we went out to 79s last shore leave.” 

His grip tightens just a bit on your chin, jealousy flashing in his eyes. 

“Nothing happened.” You quickly add, realizing your words left a little too much unsaid. “We just danced, and he confronted me after about it. He said you clones aren’t quite as uptight when it comes to rules as everyone thinks.” 

The side of his mouth lifts in a smirk. “Not in this Legion at least. I do wish you’d said something sooner, but I understand if you didn’t know...I’m not going to reject you.” He holds you still for a moment before dropping his hand. “The General is being called back to Coruscant, so we’ll get a short leave once we return. Two hours after we land, come to the barracks. I’ll make sure they’re empty.” 

Your stomach squirms with excitement. Even if you do nothing but sit and talk, the prospect of being close to your soulmate has your body coming alive. You nod, hardly able to contain yourself. 

You don’t feel quite so tired anymore as you make your way to your own barracks. 

***

The two hours after landing seems to take a lifetime. Your eyes flash to the chronometer constantly. The first half hour hadn’t been so dreadful, as you had spent most of that helping move still recovering troopers, and loading up carts to pick up supplies. 

Then you’d found yourself with nothing to do but wait, so you had returned to your barracks to wait out the hour and a half before you’d make your way to the clone barracks. You’d considered dressing up, but you thought that might draw too much attention. Wearing light gear could at least give you an excuse for being there, should anyone ask. 

You head out ten minutes before, knowing it will take you that long to get across the ship. The trooper’s bunked on the opposite side of the ship from the medics, who were close to the med bay. 

Your stomach flutters with nerves and excitement the entire way. You’d thought about this moment for a long time, though it’s not quite playing out like you had expected. You’re not complaining, though. You’re lucky to have someone as loyal and caring as the Captain for your soulmate. 

You make it to the barracks, Captain Rex waiting outside the door. He’s removed his armor, wearing only the blacks underneath. You greet him with a smile, and he returns it. You like it, you realize, seeing him smile. 

He leads you inside, this set of barracks smaller than the others. It’s specially set up, he tells you, for the more higher ranking clones. The Captain, the ARC troopers, and those on his specialized squad. 

He leads you to the bed closest to the fresher, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t really plan anything. I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing something you don’t want.” 

You put a hand on his arm. “I figured we’d just let things happen naturally. Even if all we do is sit and talk, that’s fine with me.” 

He smiles down at you. “Then let’s talk.” 

And so you do. 

You tell him everything. From your earliest memories to getting your mark, to the devastation of your planet during the start of the war. You tell him about how you’d planned to visit Mandalore in hopes of finding your soulmate, and how you’d given up that dream to join the GAR. 

He tells you everything about himself too. Growing up too fast on Kamino, the endless training, being called to the front when the war started, how he was there on your home planet when it was attacked, all the men he’s lost, the stress of the war. They’d been designed to be more resilient to high stress situations, but the grief of loss and the exhaustion still weighs on him. 

You wrap your arms around him before you even think about it. You feel for him, you really do. As much as they’re supposed to be just numbers in an army fighting a war they didn’t even volunteer to be a part of, you know they’re more than that.

“That’s why most of us don’t follow the rule about soulmates.” He says, his arms wrapped around you. “We have to believe there’s something beyond war and loss.” 

“I’m glad you don’t agree with it.” You say, resting your head on his shoulder. “I don’t think I could have given you up.” 

His hand slides up your back, moving to rest between your shoulder blades. “I...don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” 

“I don’t think anyone does.” You say, and you mean it. “I think most of it is just supposed to...be natural. It’s supposed to feel right.” 

He pulls away from you, looking down at you. Your faces are inches apart, breath mingling. This close you can see the lines on his face, the light scattering of freckles on his nose and cheeks. 

“You’re kinda beautiful.” You say, staring at him. 

“I think I’m the one that’s supposed to say that.” He says, leaning in closer. “You’re the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Your cheeks heat up, a goofy smile tugging at your lips. “Stop. I am not.” 

He cups your face, his gloved thumb tracing your cheek. “Of course you are. You were made for me, after all.” 

Your lips meet, a spark shooting through you. You feel warm and light, pure energy racing through your nerves. His grip tightens on you, pulling you closer against him. He's warm and solid, like a cabin during an ice storm. 

He groans quietly against your lips, pulling you into his lap. You settle against him, tilting your head as the kiss deepens. You hadn't really planned on going this far, but you now understand why people say once you meet your soulmate, it's uncontrollable. 

He pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours. "I don't want to feel like I'm rushing you."

You smile. "I want this too. I don't think I could stop."

He wraps his arms around your waist, flipping you easily onto your back. "Good. I don't think I can either." 

He presses his lips back against yours, slotting his body against you. He's all lean muscle, fitting perfectly against you. He presses even closer, something hard poking against your thigh. 

You smile into the kiss, shifting your hips slightly to create some friction. You're already damp, your body well prepared for this moment. It had been building up for weeks. You can tell now, how much you'd been yearning for him, even if you hadn't noticed before. 

His lips trail down your jaw, charting a path down your throat. You arch into him, fingers digging into his broad shoulders. You tug at his blacks, one of his hands reaching back to pull the top off over his head. 

You run your fingers down his chest, feeling over every bump and scar. 

“I’ll tell you about them later.” He says, tucking his face back into your neck. You have a few too he’ll want to know about. “Right now, I want to see you.” 

You smirk up at him. “Then you best get to work, Captain.” 

He matches your smirk, sitting up on his heels. “That’s brave, issuing orders to your commanding officer.” 

“Well, in certain situations, I outrank you.” You reply. 

He unbuckles your med kit, setting it on the floor. “Don’t tell me Kix has been putting ideas in your head.” His hands slip under your shirt, trailing along your skin. “I’ll make a pass, though. This is one situation where I don't mind being told what to do.” 

You gape up at him for a moment. “Do you...like being told what to do, Captain?” 

He pulls your shirt over your head, tossing it onto the floor. Your breastband quickly follows, heat blossoming across your neck and chest as he stares at you. You feel a bit self-conscious under the intensity of his gaze. “Only if it’s you.” He says. “You’re so beautiful.” 

You smile shyly, reaching out for him. “Not quite as beautiful as you.” 

“Definitely more beautiful than me.” He says, leaning into your touch. 

“I’ve been waiting so long for you.” You say, caressing his face. 

“Then I won’t make you wait any longer.” He presses a kiss to your lips before sitting back up, undoing his belt. He slips his pants off, tugging yours off as well. 

You should feel self conscious being bare in front of him, especially only knowing him for a short time, but it feels natural. You know it’s natural. You were meant to be together. 

He slots his body against yours once more, his hard length pressing up against your core. You’re already wet in anticipation, more than ready to seal your bond completely. It’s a bit strange after having thought you might get rejected if you ever revealed it to him, but you’re glad he’s at least willing to break the rules about this. 

His hips grind against yours, dragging his length against your folds. You moan, spreading your legs further for him. You want him as close as possible. You need to have him as close as possible. 

“You’re so wet for me.” He groans, dragging his hips against yours. 

“I need you.” You whimper, arms wrapping around him. “Kriff, please Rex.” 

“Yes ma’am.” He says, kissing your throat before he reaches down, lining himself up. 

Hearing him say it stirs something in you, heat rushing straight between your legs. You slot that away for later, focusing instead on him as he slowly presses into you. The stretch burns a bit, but he goes slow, moving inch by inch until he’s seated inside you. You shiver at the close contact, your body coming alive from how connected you are. 

“Kriff, you’re so tight.” He groans, dropping to his elbows over you. “Fit me so perfectly.” 

“Well, I was made for you.” You say, wrapping your arms back around him. 

“So perfect for me.” He says, pressing a kiss to your lips. 

He begins moving, small thrusts as he drags his hips against yours. You cling to him, wanting him as close as you can get him. The sensations and the thought of having him so close set every nerve ending alight in your body, energy thrumming through you. You know it's the connection, the link you share coming alive. 

You love the feeling of it. 

It’s a bit sloppy and awkward, as neither of you are experts. You don’t care though, the pleasure still building as picks up speed. He’s close too, you can tell by the desperation of his movements. You slip a hand down between you, circling your clit as you near the edge. 

He stills as he cums, your own orgasm washing over you at the same time. You cling to him, holding him as close as possible as you ride out your highs together. 

“How much time do you think we have?” You say, holding him on top of you. 

“More than enough.” He says, letting himself sink closer to you. “I told Fives to keep them out as long as possible. 

***

You hadn’t meant to fall asleep. You had been so comfortable and comforted by Rex’s presence, you had just drifted off without trying. 

It’s the arrival of the other troopers that has drawn you from your slumber. Rex’s arm tightens around your waist, obviously having heard their return as well. So much for keeping this a secret. 

You hope maybe they’ll all stumble to bed tiredly and not even look in your direction. You’re hidden from the door by Rex’s body, his arm pulling the sheet up higher inconspicuously. 

“I see the Captain’s been busy while we were away.” A smug voice says. 

“Ha! I called it! You owe me 20 credits!” Another voice calls out. 

“Fives,” Rex growls, going to turn around, but you sit up, clutching the sheet to your chest. You’re still very much naked. 

“Wait, did you bet on us?” You ask in disbelief. 

“You owe me another 20!” Hardcase exclaims, slapping Jesse’s shoulder.

Rex wraps an arm around you, pulling you back down. “Let them have their fun. I’ll make them all do extra rounds in the training room tomorrow.” 

There’s a simultaneous groan from all of them as they shuffle to their bunks to get ready. 

“Don’t worry, cyar’ika. Your secret is safe with us.” Hardcase says. 

“Just as long as I don’t feel the bunk shaking.” Jesse says, climbing up to the top bunk. 

“No promises.” Rex smirks, wrapping his arms back around you.  

Taglist:

@stressed-cherry

[vodika-vibes]

Hi, darling~ I'm back again with request #6!

I was going to stop at 5, but then I felt bad for leaving out Kix. So, this one is for him, with an aquamarine, at twilight. Who better to give some healing love than our beloved medic? He's got that weighted blanket charm

Please and thank you 💚💚💚

@the-bad-batch-baroness

First Choice

Summary: Kix is a man in love. He just needs to make her see it.

Pairing: Clone Medic Kix x F!Reader

Word Count: 622

Prompt: Aquamarine - Healing Love

Warnings: Reader's parents are bad. Not abusive, just bad.

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I hope this is close to what you wanted and I hope you like it!!

“Bad day, Bluebird?” Kix asks as he props his feet up on her desk, an easy grin on his face as he watches her start in surprise, and then glare at his boots.

She pushes his boots off her desk, “No shoes on the furniture, Kix. Honestly.”

He laughs and props his feet up again, “Come on, bluebird. That wasn’t an answer. What’s got you so down in the dumps?”

She glares at him, her pen tapping an annoyed rhythm out on her desk, before she sighs, “You know how I was supposed to meet up with my parents today?”

“Yeah. It was a whole big thing, you were so excited.” Kix scans her face, “Didn’t go well?”

“Well, I don’t know.” She pauses, “You see, they never showed up. Again.” She clenches her jaw, and then slowly relaxes, “They commed, after the fact. They decided to go visit my brother instead.”

Kix exhales slowly, “Oh, bluebird. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She focuses her attention back to her work, “I’ve never been anyone’s first choice…I don’t know why I thought they’d start now.”

Kix winces, and drops his feet to the floor, “Come on, cyare. That’s not true.”

“No. No it is.” She won’t look at him, “You know, they never even came to my college graduation. My sister had a piano recital, you see, and they had to be there-” Her voice cracks, and she presses her lips into a thin line. “I’d like to be alone.”

“Absolutely not.” Kix slides his chair closer, “Alone is the last thing you need right now.” Carefully, he plucks the pen from her unresisting hands, and he spins her chair so she’s facing him, “There you are.”

“Kix-” She has tears in her eyes and she looks even more upset than when he first came into the room.

“You’re my first choice.”

She blinks at him, and then she scowls, “I’m not. You don’t have to lie-”

“Hey,” He presses his hands against her cheeks, “You’re absolutely my first choice.”

“I’ve never been anyone’s first choice. Ever.” She counters, “Why should you be any different.”

“Because I love you.”

She blinks at him. Once. Twice. Three times.

“What?”

“I love you. I’m in love with you. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes.” Kix says, “Have been since the day we met.”

“That…doesn’t make any sense.” She mumbles, “No one-”

“Yeah, well. My name’s Kix and I’m legally no one.”

She blinks at him, and then scowls, “That’s a terrible joke.”

“Not joking. About any of it.” Kix gently, very gently, slides her off her chair and onto his lap, “Let me show you. Let me prove to you how I feel.”

“How do you intend to do that?” The tears have faded from her eyes, and her voice is hushed.

Maker, he loves her so much.

“Like this.” Slowly, giving her time to back away if she needs to, he presses his lips against hers in a chaste kiss. And, when she doesn’t pull away, and in fact, curls her fingers into the thick material of his blacks, he deepens the kiss. 

When she kisses him back, Kix is pretty sure that his heart is going to explode in his chest. “So,” He murmurs, once he breaks the kiss, “Believe me yet?”

“...I’m starting to.”

“Well then, I’ll just have to kiss you until you definitely do.”

And, well, if his Bluebird’s parents got a picture of him kissing her, as well as a long message thanking them for breaking her heart, because he’s going to make sure that they’ll never have the power to do that again-

Well, that’s no one’s business but his, now is it?

[justaparsec94]

Revelations

Summary: Needing a little help Rex tracks down his favourite civilian mechanic from the war.

Pairing: Rex x fem!reader

Word Count: 4,129

*********************

Rex had once believed that the end of the war would mean an end to the fighting, an end to losing his brothers, and an end to the never-ending number of problems he had to deal with on a daily basis. How wrong he had been. Sometimes, when he lay awake at night, staring up at the ceiling he couldn’t quite believe how things had ended. His heart ached when he thought about it too much, the faces of all of his brothers flashing across his mind. Visions of the smoke from the Venator as it lay crumbled against the earth haunted him in his dreams. Jesse, Kix, Cody, General's Skywalker and Kenobi, all gone. Lost to the Empire. But worst of all were the thoughts of how meaningless his life had actually been. He hadn’t been a soldier, he'd simply been a pawn in someone else's game. That was what kept him up most at night. And it was that thought that continued to drive him to help his brothers, to fight back against The Empire in any way that he could. 

It was what currently had him stalking through one of the mid-levels of Coruscant as the sun began to dip into the evening. It wasn’t as risky as being up on one of the upper levels where the Coruscant Guard routinely patrolled but still close enough to the surface to put him on edge. But desperate times called for desperate measures. 

He kept his head down as he went, he had left his armour back at base so he knew most people wouldn’t give him a second look but months of hiding had made him extra cautious. He slowed as his destination came into view, his head swivelled a few times, checking to make sure he wasn’t being tailed before he headed over to the garage across the street. It was a small garage but well kept, the lights inside still shone brightly out into the street as he neared the door. He knew it would likely be closing shortly so he would have to make this quick. 

A bell chimed as he stepped through the door, a quick scan of the shop revealed the front was empty at first but he heard movement in the back almost instantly. 

Rex released a breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding as your figure stepped out of the back and behind the counter. His heart was suddenly beating in his chest wildly at the sight of you. There had been very few days since the end of the war where he hadn’t thought about you, hadn’t worried about what might have happened to you. He had thought he would never see you again but now that he was every confusing feeling he had harboured for you for years was slamming back into him. 

“Hey there, how can I…” You started before you slammed to a halt, your entire body freezing and your eyes widening as you took in the sight of him. 

“Hi,” He greeted sheepishly, waving at you when the feeling of needing to do something with his hands overwhelmed him. 

“Rex…” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you stared at him. 

Before he could even think of what to say next you had launched yourself over the counter in a blur of movement, throwing yourself into him and crushing him a hug. 

He chuckled nervously as his hands wrapped around you instinctively. He tried his best to ignore the heat that was suddenly pooling in him at the feeling of your body being so tightly pressed up against him. He’d always had armour on to protect him in the past anytime this had happened.

You pulled away from him after a moment but your hands stayed gripping his biceps, as though you were worried he was about to slip away again. Your face was paler than normal as you looked up at him with wide eyes, “I heard that you went down with the ship, they said you were dead. I-I thought you were dead, Rex.” 

He chuckled darkly as he reached up to rub at the back of his neck nervously, “Well, only one of those things is true, clearly.” 

His words seemed to break the tension in the room and you chuckled softly, a grin finally splitting your face as you let your hands fall away from him. He found himself mourning the loss of your touch but he tried his best to push that thought aside. He was here on a mission after all, and not one of a personal nature. 

“Gosh, I can’t believe you’re really here,” You said with a breathy laugh, “I missed you.” 

Your admission did something funny to his insides but again he tried his best to ignore the feeling, “It’s harder to get rid of me than one might expect.”

You laughed, “Clearly, but I’m glad for it.” 

The two of you simply stared at one another for a long moment. Rex could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he looked at you. You didn't look any different than the last time he had seen you, you were still so kriffing beautiful. He watched as your brow furrowed slightly as your own eyes finished their appraisal of him.

“What are you doing here Rex?” You asked, “You - you don’t look like you’re with The Empire,” You said the second part hesitantly, as though you were afraid to hear his answer. 

“I’m not, I’ve uh - defected,” He answered, for lack of a better term. The fact that he was listed as KIA sort of negates the term but it’s close enough to the truth, “Are you still…” he started though he was somewhat unsure of how to ask the question. 

You had once been, in his opinion, the finest civilian mechanic the GAR had under contract. Rex had met you only days after the first battle of Geonosis, back when you had both still been shiny. He had taken an instant liking to your quick wit and easygoing nature, plus no one could fix a ship as efficiently as you could. The two of you had remained friends throughout the war. You had often been stationed on Coruscant at the main base but there had been many occasions when you had accompanied the 501st on their missions. Those times had been his favourite and if he had made extra trips to the flight deck during those missions it had been completely coincidental, or so he told himself.  

You shook your head, “No, after everything that happened, the Jedi, the clones, being told that you had been killed…” You trailed off momentarily, biting your lip before you looked back up at him, “I saw what was happening and it became pretty clear pretty quickly that it was not something I wanted to be a part of any longer. My dad was ecstatic to have me back in the garage though.” 

The two of you were silent for another long moment, simply looking at one another. Rex hadn’t thought it would be possible but his respect for you only grew at the knowledge that you had left The Empire, seeing it for what it truly was.

“Do you know what happened to the others?” You asked hesitantly after a moment, “Jesse? Kix? Echo? Cody?” The list could have gone on and on, you had been friends with many of the boys. 

His heart wrenched at the thought of his brothers, he didn’t know if he had it in him to tell you the truth. Jesse who had died trying to kill him and Ahsoka, his actions not his own. Kix, who had vanished only weeks before the end of the war never to be seen again. Cody, who was still with The Empire or worse. He settled on simply shaking his head instead, the answer was too complex and he knew you would get his meaning. 

Overwhelming sadness flashed in your eyes and he instantly hated the fact that he had been the one to put it there. He tracked your movements as you reached out to rest a hand on his arm comfortingly, “I’m so sorry, Rex.” 

Rex simply shook his head, he had quickly learned that there really were no words to convey his feelings about all that he had lost. 

Sensing his discomfort you quickly changed course, which he was very appreciative of, “So, what are you up to now then?” 

“Uh…” He faltered. He trusted you, he did, he always had. But it wasn’t just his life that would be in danger if word were to get out what he was up to. Not only that, but he couldn’t bear the thought of putting you in danger by roping you into things more than his being here already had. He cursed himself internally for having not come up with a better answer to this inevitable question. 

Your eyebrow raised but instead of suspicion there was only amusement dancing in your eyes, “Let me guess, it’s classified?” 

He felt his face flush slightly but he was relieved by your response, “Sorry, it’s not just me who would be at risk if something were to happen.”

“Say less, Captain,” You replied with a laugh, patting his arm reassuringly, “But what brings you to me?”

“I’m looking for a specific part for a ship. I was hoping you might be able to help me out,” Rex replied. The Remora had taken a direct hit on their last mission. Echo had done his best to try and repair it but a part of the stabilization system had been beyond his ability to fix and without it they were effectively grounded. The Martez sisters had done their best to find the part but hadn’t yet had any luck and Rex was beginning to grow desperate. The longer they were grounded the fewer brothers they were likely to save. Echo had suggested simply stealing a new ship but Rex hadn’t wanted to draw that much attention to them. At least not until they had no other option.  

“Sure thing,” You replied happily before you turned and headed back towards the counter, “What are you looking for?” 

He followed after you as you slipped behind the counter. You disappeared momentarily as you bent down behind the counter before you re-emerged with your data pad in hand. He gave you the specifics of the part, his fingers drumming anxiously against the countertop as he watched you scroll on your data pad. 

“I don’t have anything in stock right now,” You replied with a soft frown, “But I should be able to get it with no problem. It might just take a few days to have it shipped from a warehouse.”

This was exactly why you were his favourite, “Really? That’s great. What will I owe you?” Thanks to Senator Chuchi's support paying for the part wasn’t an issue. 

You shook your head before giving him a cheeky grin, “Don’t worry about it Rex, you get the friends and family discount.”

“I can’t…” He protested but was cut short. 

“Ah ah,” You said, waving your hand at him dismissively, “None of that. Besides, a dead man’s credits won’t really do me any good,” You teased as you set your data pad aside and leaned your elbows on the counter, propping your chin up on your hands as you looked up at him. 

He wanted to protest further but he had learned years ago that arguing with you once your mind was set got him absolutely nowhere, “Thank you,” He said sincerely. You really were his favourite. 

You smiled brightly at him, “No problem Rex. How should I get ahold of you once the part comes in?” 

He reached out to grab a stylus and piece of flimsy from off the counter, “Here’s my private comm channel, just give me a call and I’ll come and grab it,” He paused momentarily, considering, “This is Echo’s. If you can’t get ahold of me, try him,” With his line of work he never really knew which day could end up being his last. He knew that if something were to happen to him his brother would continue on with their mission without a doubt. 

“Echo’s with you?” You asked, perking up as you took the flimsy from him. The last time you had seen Echo he had still been with The Bad Batch. 

He nodded, “It’s a long story.”

You laughed, “Classified?”

Rex chuckled softly, “No, just long.”

“Well, maybe you can tell it to me when I get that part in,” You replied with another soft smile that made his face flush. 

He simply nodded, trying his best to ignore the heat that was once again pooling in his stomach at the mere sight of you, “I think I can manage that.”

“Good, I’ll see you later then Captain,” And before he even fully knew what was happening you had leaned over the counter, stretching up onto the tips of your toes to plant a swift kiss on his cheek. 

“I’ll uh, yah, later. I’ll be seeing you, then. Later.” He stammered as absolute fire burned in his face. He could still feel the weight of our lips against his cheek as he stepped away from the counter. Your eyes were sparkling with amusement as you watched him make his hasty retreat which only made the feelings churning inside him even worse. He spun around and marched towards the door, determined to get out before he did something else embarrassing. 

“Rex,” You called after him just as he reached the threshold, causing him to pause and spin back in your direction, “I’m really glad to see you. I’m very happy you’re not dead.” 

He couldn’t manage more than a nod, his brain apparently having left him completely. With a final wave, he stepped out into the cool night air of Coruscant, breath filling his lungs once more as he made his way back towards base. You might be his favourite, but he wasn’t entirely convinced that you weren’t going to be the death of him. 

*******

Just as they had during the war, the days blurred together for Rex. There was always something that needed doing, intel to collect, supply runs, people to meet. His to-do list was endless. He let out a deep sigh, his attention still focused on his data pad as he walked back into the Martez sister's garage, their temporary base. He had just finished meeting with Senator Chuchi and while their meetings always went well, the woman was unwaveringly kind and supportive, he was tired. He wanted nothing more than to collapse on his makeshift bunk in the back and stay there for the rest of the day. But as always, duty called, and he would answer. 

He lifted a hand in greeting as he strode past Howzer and Nemec, the motion almost automatic as his eyes remained glued to the data that he was currently scrolling through on his datapad. 

He stopped short suddenly though as the sound of familiar laughter reached his ears. His head snapped up and his gaze instantly zeroed in on the source. For a moment he thought he was dreaming because you couldn’t possibly be standing in his base, laughing with his brother as the two of you were huddled under the hull of The Remora.

As if sensing his presence your head turned towards him and you gave him a cheerful wave, “Hiya Rex!”

He frowned, so much for keeping you safe and out of the loop. He turned his narrowed gaze towards Echo who was looking suddenly sheepish from where he was kneeling by your side. They would be having words later. 

With a sigh, Rex walked over towards you, his data pad long forgotten as he focused on where you were clearly working on the ship. The answer was obvious but he asked the question anyway, “What are you doing here?”

“The part came,” You chirped, still smiling brightly up at him, “I tried to call you but couldn’t reach you so I comm’d Echo. He told me to bring the part down and then I figured I might as well give him some help with the repairs.” 

Rex cursed softly as he looked at his comm, sure enough, he had a missed call. Likely from when he had been in his meeting with the Senator and had silenced the device. 

“She is the expert after all,” Echo said, his pale eyes brimming with amusement as he looked between you and Rex. It only made Rex frown more. 

Rex steadily ignored his brother, turning his attention back to you instead, “How are the repairs coming?”

“All done actually,” You replied, “Just closing her up, and then she’ll be good to go!”

“I’ll uh, let you two discuss logistics while I go start her up,” Echo said as he stood. You gave Echo a nod and a brief smile before you turned your attention back to tightening the last of the bolts. He patted Rex on the shoulder as he passed him, a grin on his face that Rex did not like the look of. Sometimes, with everything Echo had been through and all of the changes he had undergone, Rex forgot that Echo still had the ability to be a little shit when he wanted to be. The relationship between the two of you, even though Rex had insisted it was completely professional, had not been a secret to the boys in the 501st. 

Rex stood silently as you finished up the repairs, unable to pull his eyes away from you as you went about putting your tools away. A sharp intake of breath escaped him as you paused to pull your hair back from your face, piling it onto your head and pining it quickly in place. His eyes traced the curve of your neck as heat pooled his stomach. 

Likely sensing his gaze you looked towards him as you stood up, your eyebrows raised questioningly as amusement swum in your eyes. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked with a soft chuckle, a wide grin on your face as you clipped a wrench back onto your tool belt. 

Rex felt like his brain was malfunctioning, his face flushed as you smiled brightly at him. There was a gleam in your eyes that set his heart pounding against his rib cage. He hadn’t meant to stare, he just couldn’t stop himself it seemed. Whenever you were around it was as if nothing else existed for him. It had always been like that, but apparently, he had used to be better at hiding it. 

Because you’re beautiful was the first coherent thought that came to mind. It was only after he noticed your eyes widen and your grin become absolutely beaming that he realized he had actually said that out loud. 

“Well, thank you, Captain, that’s very kind of you to say,” your cheeks flushed just ever so slightly while he stood there like an absolute di’kut hoping a pit would open beneath him and swallow him whole. It was too late to take it back now though. Not that he ever would take it back. He truly meant it so he couldn’t reverse course now without coming across as intentionally cruel. 

“I-“ he started then stopped, completely at a loss for words as his face burned with embarrassment. This was all Echo’s fault, somehow. 

“Is that a conclusion that you’ve just recently come to? Because you sound somewhat surprised,” You teased which only made him flush further. 

If he had been floundering before it was nothing compared to what he was doing now, “No...no...I...what?”

You let out a bright laugh, stepping closer to him and resting a gentle hand on his arm. He was once again glad to be back in his armour because even through it he could feel the heat of your touch. 

“I’m just teasing you Rex,” You replied with another laugh, smiling up at him.

He still didn’t know what to say so instead he simply nodded. His attention was still focused entirely on you as you suddenly stood on your tip toes, the whisper of your voice against his ear sent a shiver down his spine, “I'll let you in on a little secret though. I’ve always thought you were beautiful too.”

With another gentle laugh, you pulled away from him, patting him on the arm once more before you move away. Leaving him standing there, completely dumbfounded as you waved up at Echo in the cockpit, giving him the all-clear to start up the ship. 

The Remora rumbled to life, engines running smoothly once more. He continued to watch, clearly incapable of focusing on anything else, as you gave Echo a thumbs up before returning to his side once more. You looked up at him, a warm and somewhat expecting look on your face. After years of knowing you and being on the receiving end of that look many times before he knew exactly what was coming next. 

“So,” You started, “Echo gave me the run down of what you’ve got going on here. I want to help you, in any way possible.”  

Rex felt himself tense up, “It’s dangerous. I can’t ask you to put yourself in harm's way for us. If The Empire…”

You cut him off, “The Empire can stuff it for all I care, Rex. I want to help you. What you’re doing here is important. I might not be a soldier but I know I can still help you.” 

“If something happened to you…” He started, his insides freezing at just the thought alone. If anything ever happened to you on his watch he didn’t know how he would live with himself. He had already lost so much. But he knew from the determined look in your eyes that he was fighting a losing battle. 

You stopped him again, this time with your hand as you reached out to grab his own. It had the intended effect, shutting him up completely as his gaze flicked between your face and your joint hands.

“It’s worth the risk, Rex,” you said as you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, “Please, let me help.” 

He let out a weary sigh, “Alright," He might be clueless about a lot of things when it came to you but he knew when to admit defeat. 

You smiled up at him brightly, fingers still interlaced with his own, “Thank you. It looks like you're stuck with me after all Captain,” Rex couldn’t help but smile at the comment. It was a throwback to better days when you used to gripe about always being assigned to the 501st for missions. You still weren't aware that he had been the one specifically requesting for your assignments.  

"There are far worse problems to have,” he teased softly, “and just Rex is fine. I’m really not a Captain anymore.”

“Old habits die hard, Rex,” you replied with a shrug, “I should head back to the garage though. I’ll swing back around later though and we can discuss logistics.”

Rex nodded, though he was suddenly very aware that you were still holding his hand. Noticing his gaze you smiled up at him and for the second time that week you were moving before he could make sense of it. Your lips were soft against his cheek, the feeling of them once again setting his insides on fire and making his pulse race beneath your skin. Too soon in his opinion, you pulled away from him. He watched you walk away, his eyes never leaving you as you left the garage. You gave him one final wave that he returned before you disappeared from sight. He could still feel the ghost of your lips against his skin as he stood there, completely lost in thought. 

“So…” Rex didn’t even need to turn to know that Echo was suddenly standing beside him. 

“Don’t even start,” Rex grumbled, turning towards him and levelling a glare at him, “You and I are going to have to have a talk about maintaining secrecy.” 

“Sir yessir,” Echo chuckled, knowing Rex’s words were all bluster. He gave him a mock salute with his scomp before he wandered off, leaving Rex alone with his thoughts. He really should move, he had a lot of work to do but he had the feeling he wasn't going to be very effective for the rest of the day. Not unless he could convince himself that he wasn’t actively counting down the hours until he would see you again. 

[dystopicjumpsuit]

hey hey hey, for the first kiss prompts-

the uncontrollable smile they break into either after or during the kiss itself with... Jesse!

happy writing <3

Thank you for the request @multi-fan-dom-madness! I got a flash of inspiration during the thotting hours, so I bring a Thanksgiving present for you. (That's totally how Thanksgiving works, right?)

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers! May your turkey be as juicy as Jesse’s thighs.

Pairing: Jesse x Reader (GN)

Rating: T but MDNI as always

Wordcount: 720

Warnings and tags: Fluff, banter, kisses

Summary: Jesse performs "emergency field medicine."

Suggested Listening:

Masterlist | Sign up for my tag list

There’s an ARC trooper in your office. He has his back to you as he inspects your shelves full of plants, holoframes, curios, and even a few actual paper books. You don’t recognize the kama, so he’s not one of yours—though you have no doubt that the Jedi generals would lecture you for getting attached to the troopers that way. 

Good thing I’m not a Jedi.

Whoever he is, he’s a big kriffing dude. ARC troopers always look extra imposing thanks to the pauldrons, but damn, this one must have needed custom armor to accommodate those muscles. His helmet is off, and all you can see is the back of his shaved head.

“Hello,” you say. “Can I help you with something?”

Translation: Who are you, and what the kark are you doing in my office?

He turns, and you catch a glimpse of a large Republic cog tattoo.

“Jesse?!” you exclaim, rushing across the office to fling your arms around him. 

He doesn’t even stagger a little bit as you collide with him, just wraps his arms around you in a tight hug. Impulsively, you press your lips to his cheek.

“When did you get back?” you demand.

He beams at you with a smile that’s too brilliant to be contained. “About ten minutes ago. Came straight here.”

“And I was stuck in a meeting,” you say with disgust, drawing a laugh from him. 

“I haven’t been waitin’ long,” he replies.

“Well, I’ve been waiting for you forever!” you exclaim. “How long is ARC training, anyway?”

An odd expression flickers over his face, and he hesitates before he replies, “I’m not actually allowed to say. Sorry.”

“That’s all right; I’m just happy to have you back,” you grin as you lean back to admire his new armor. “Look at you, Mr. ARC Trooper! You look great.”

“That’s ‘Lieutenant ARC Trooper,’” he says with a tiny smirk.

“You got promoted? Jesse, that’s amazing!”

“Yeah, I didn’t think I’d ever make it past sergeant, either,” he jokes.

“That’s not what I meant,” you laugh, slapping his chest and immediately regretting it when your knuckles collide with the hard plastoid armor. "Ouch!"

“How was that?” he asks.

“2/10, do not recommend,” you reply, shaking your hand to ease the stinging.

“Let me see.” He takes your hand gently in his and holds it close to his face to inspect it. “I think it might be fatal.”

“Better get Kix in here before I keel over,” you say, trying to ignore the warmth of his fingers and the rough texture of his gloves on your skin.

“No time,” Jesse replies gravely. “I’ll have to perform emergency medical treatment.”

He kisses your knuckles softly, and your heart begins to hammer in your chest.

“Did they teach you that in ARC training, or did you pick it up from Kix?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

“It’s a top secret ARC procedure,” he replies. “Very advanced medicine. I doubt Kix has heard of it.”

“I’m so lucky you were here to kiss it better,” you say. “I’d hate to die of a scraped knuckle.”

“Funny story,” he says. “This procedure requires multiple rounds of treatment.”

Your breath stutters to a halt. “It does?”

“Mm-hmm,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to each of your knuckles individually. He grazes his thumb across them, and suddenly you forget all about the pain. 

“I think it’s working,” you say.

He raises his other hand to your face, stroking his thumb over your lips as his fingers caress your jaw.

“Better try one more thing, just to be safe,” he says as he leans close to you, his lips a breath away from your own.

“Yeah,” you whisper. “Just to be safe.”

His lips brush against yours softly, and it feels like the galaxy stops spinning around you, because you’re finally kissing Jesse, and it’s even better than you imagined, and his lips are kriffing perfect, and he tastes suspiciously like the candy that you keep in a bowl on your desk, and you never want it to end. Eventually, though, you have to come up for air, and he cups your cheek as you rest your forehead against his.

“You know,” he whispers, his breath warm against your skin, “I’ve been waiting for you forever, too.”

[squintyeyedjoel]

Through Your Eyes | Part 2 - More than Meets the Eye (Joel x Reader)

A/N: IT’S FINALLY FUCKING HERE!!!! I’m so sorry it took so long! I’ve been sitting on this for almost a year and it’s just been evolving and marinating and improving, and I hope it lives up to the hype. It’s time for it to be set free. ✨ This is truly a hybrid of game and show Joel. I see them both, hence both gifs.

I do not own The Last of Us or it’s characters. Sadly. But I carry them in my heart. Does that count for something? My soul says yes.

Warnings: Oooo, this one’s a doozy. So many things. (Let me know if I miss anything.) 😮‍💨 Some original characters, mentions of an elderly family member passing, lots of canon violence and swearing, (this one is a big one. Like a lot. There’s a hefty amount of swearing.) mention of attempted sexual assault (not to reader) without detail, graphic description of injury (not to reader) and blood, attempted abduction? Reader is a badass and sports a black eye and bloody knuckles with pride. Panic attack? But Joel scares it away. 😌 We round it all out with obscene amounts of fluff and humor between it all, sweet moments, and just soft things. It’s me. I can’t not. No use of Y/N.

Word count: 11,928

Thank you to @fordo-kixed-rex for reading over this five bazillion times for me and fangirling over it when I was having my down moments. You’re a real one.

Previous | Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Next

Xxx

You rocked in the saddle of your horse as she slowly followed behind the first few people in the group.

Left.

Right.

Left. 

Right.

Over.

And over.

And over.

Some quicker footfalls to your left made you turn your head, seeing Joel atop his horse come alongside you before slowing his steed back to the slow crawl the rest had fallen into.

“You okay?” He mumbled. “Look like you’re about to fall asleep.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you groused, turning back to face forward with a yawn.

He huffed out a laugh before shaking his head at you almost imperceptibly, nudging his horse to go a little faster toward the front of the group.

Watching him with narrowed brows, you saw everyone else make sure to steer clear of him, giving him a wide berth and a clear path to the front. Tommy’s words from that first day rang in your head.

“You saw a side of Joel right out the gate some wait a lifetime to miss.”

Joel whistled loudly, gathering everyone’s attention, as the whole party came to a stop. “Alright! Listen up!” Some grumbles began to go around, but stopped with one crook of his brow. “That’s an awful lot of yappin’ for people suppose t’be listenin’.” 

If a pin had dropped in the grass underfoot, it would have echoed in the vast forest around you. Even nature seemed to heed his warning, only a few stray birds chirping somewhere in the distance brave enough to break the silence. A lone frog echoed in a nearby creek bed. A few bugs buzzed by, trying to ease the tension, and it seemed to work, because finally Joel went on after staring at everybody.

“We need to pick up the pace. This isn’t a leisurely walk to the park and back. We have a goal we need to get to, and back, and we got one week to do it.”

“Who made you the boss?” Some poor brave soul asked from behind you. A young man, maybe in his mid twenties from how he sounded. You didn’t dare turn to look at him, not wanting to move your eyes from Joel, because if looks could kill…. Joel would currently be facing a serious charge for the way he was glowering at the faceless voice behind you.

“Common sense.” A few small laughs went around the group, the corner of Joel’s mouth twitching up just slightly when he saw you shake your head with a smirk. “This was my run- our run,” he pointed to you then back to himself before retaking the reins to his horse, “and the council thought it best you all tag along to bring the most back we could. Now I don’t mind-”

“Yes, you do,” another voice behind you said, female, almost teasingly, making another round of soft laughter go around.

“Fine. I mind. A lot. But we’re here now. So, since you’re tagging along on our run, what we say goes. Agreed?” When no one protested, he gestured you up to the front with a tilt of his head, going on while you nudged your horse forward. 

“Now, we need to move faster. Any bandits or infected we pass by would pick us off like flies at this pace. The cart will be the slowest, I want the four of you to stay with the cart at all times and watch all four sides.” He pointed to four individuals who nodded, moving toward the cart pulled by a single horse and rider. 

“The three of you pull up the rear.” More pointing and nodding. “The rest of you, in the middle. Keep your eyes open. Everyone keep at a steady pace, we camp at sundown wherever that is. Don’t push your horses too far.” He began to turn his own mount to move forward. “Not their fault we’re a bunch of dumbasses.”

“I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard him say at once,” you heard someone mutter behind you, making you smile.

“At once? Try ever,” another retorted.

Joel looked over at you. “What? Why you grinnin’?”

“They respect you.”

He scoffed. “That so hard to believe?”

“It’s a side of you I’ve not seen before. I’m used to bad puns and screwdrivers, not….” You made a swooping gesture to the group behind you, “that.”

He shook his head once, tisking at you. “Shows what you know. I’m actually partly in charge of security around Jackson.”

Your eyes widened as you turned as much as your saddle would allow to look at him, the leather creaking against the movement. “Really?”

He nodded once in confirmation, a proud smile starting up his face. “Only a part time type’f thing, and it’s purely on a trial basis right now, but…. Yeah.” He grinned brightly at you. “The jokin’ and woodworkin’ are just for fun.” The smile turned somewhat dopey and lopsided.

“There’s more to you than meets the eye, Joel Miller.” He rolled his eyes at you, the grin melting into a scoff and his signature sour expression with impressive speed. Though his eyes still shone brightly, giving away his true amusement. “And I’m gonna try to see it all.”

Shaking his head at you again, Joel looked back forward, nudging his horse to go a bit faster and pull ahead of you. “Nah. Not that deep, darlin’.”

Urging your mount forward, you maneuvered to your right, and fell in beside him with a grin. “That’s what you think.”

Joel tilted his head down and to the side toward you as he spoke for emphasis, keeping his eyes forward. “That’s what I know.” He cut his gaze to you briefly after a moment to try and drive his point home before straightening back up in his saddle, his eyes going studiously back to the wide expanse of land ahead. 

Your grin melted into a smirk, seemingly a new permanent fixture since moving to Jackson. Or more specifically, since moving in with Joel and Ellie. That thought made the side of your mouth tick even higher. “We’ll see.”

Xxx

In the chaos of starting up a new life in Jackson, you’d overlooked one little detail. While you could repair and paint just about anything on your own, you were shit at stitching any stuffed toys back together Joel happened on during runs. It was possible, but it was slow going, and to be honest, looked a bit like field dressings for a battle wound instead of repairs. 

You’d thrown the last attempt of an old wrinkled teddy bear at Joel when he’d called it Sargent Cuddles, Ellie only adding to the confirmation when she asked if you could make an eyepatch for the bear instead to cover the deep scar you’d given it by way of cross stitches.

Halfway through that first week, you’d walked into the town’s seamstress with the best smelling cinnamon loaf the bakery had to offer, fresh and steaming, under your arm. When the girl behind the counter stopped what she was doing, setting down the socks she was darning while her nose went high in the air like a bloodhound as she took a deep sniff with her eyes glassed over, you grinned. 

Target acquired.

“Can I help you?” Her voice was soft and kind, and her smile as she rose to her feet from the chair helped settle any trepidation you felt about reaching out.

People hadn’t always been kind about your hobby, for one reason or another, hence why you came with bribes at the ready. But you had a feeling this time would be different. You smirked as she nonchalantly eyed the loaf under your arm.

“Hi! Yeah! I’m the one who restores the toys? I opened up in the old bookstore down the street?” You introduced yourself, and recognition went off behind her eyes at the sound of your name.

“Oh! Joel’s girl!”

Your breath caught in your chest as your head gave a little shake of confusion at the declaration. “What?”

She chuckled somewhat nervously. “No! No, not like that, I mean…. His neighbor. His new lodger. The one in the attic.” She was talking a mile a minute. “Not his ‘his’ girl….” She slapped a palm to her forehead, cradling her head in her hand as she rocked it back and forth before pulling back just enough to look at you conspiratorially. “But can you imagine?”

After a moment of silence where you both simply stared at each other, soft laughter took over, melting the tension between you.

“Let me start over,” she huffed, lowering her hand from her face to extend it to you in greeting. “I’m Jane. Nice to meet you.”

As you shook her hand, you couldn’t help but smile at her antics. “Likewise.”

Jane turned her attention back down to the socks she had abandoned when you came in, fiddling with them absently before she looked back up at you, a soft tint of embarrassment staining her cheeks. “So, what brings you here?”

“Oh! Right.” Setting the loaf on the counter, you shrugged the backpack off your shoulder and set it down beside the bread, fishing out the few stuffed animals Joel had brought back that needed the most help. “I was hoping we could work out a deal. I can do some basic stitching, but even then, Joel and Ellie have compared my work to that of a field medic more than anything.” 

Jane snickered at the comment as she took one of the worn stuffed animals, turning it over in her hands and analyzing it as you continued.

“People trade me all sorts of goods for these, like this loaf.” You gestured to it with a bob of your head, then placed your hand on the still steaming bread. “The baker’s son has a birthday coming up, and she wanted something special. Joel and Tommy don’t always bring back stuffed animals so it wouldn’t be constant work, but I was hoping when they do, I could bring them here, and we could work out some sort of trade system for the repairs-”

“No need,” Jane said, smiling down at the stuffed tiger in her hands. You arched a brow at her, waiting for her to go on, and she finally tore her gaze away from the toy and up to you. “I had one just like this as a kid. Loved it to bits. It looked like it had been through the wars before I lost it, patches everywhere and stuffing missing so it was lumpy…. I learned to sew on that thing.” Jane looked back at the toy again fondly. “I’ll help you. All I ask is that I get to keep this one, and maybe one every few runs if they happen to stumble on any others like I used to have. I…. I had a collection.” 

When she brought her gaze back up to meet yours, her eyes were misty. “It was small, but it was everything to me. Got a new one every year when I was little from my grandparents. Stopped when I hit that certain age where adults deem you too old for those things. Which was fine.” She sniffed, a tear falling silently down her cheek. “Then my grandpa he…. He started having memory issues.” She took a deep, shaky breath, smiling sadly at the toy. “Regressed a certain amount of years…. Just so happened to be when I was a certain age, still, in his mind, and he got me a stuffed toy every year for my birthday, until….”

You reached out, placing your hand over hers. “Keep whatever you want. You don’t even have to do repairs to keep them.” She began to protest, swiping at her tears with the back of the hand still holding the tiger when you squeezed her other hand gently. “The whole reason I’m doing this in the first place is to help bring some joy back into the world. And I want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy, without me lording something over you like demanding a trade in exchange-”

Jane flipped her hand in your grip, squeezing you like you had her. “And doing this will make me happy.” You studied her for a long moment. “Do you know how boring it is to darn a sock?” You snorted a laugh, and she smiled. “Everybody in this damn town needs to take better care of their socks, I swear…. I’m up to my eyeballs in them. Nothing would make me happier than to work on something that would be giving back more to the community than dumb stinky, holey, wool.”

With a nod, you gave her hand still in your grip one firm shake, a grin crawling up your face. “It’s a deal. I’ll try to tackle the easy ones and send the few in need of more love your way. But!” You let go of her hand and held up a finger, wagging it like you were lecturing a petulant child.  “I’m also dropping some of these goods by, too.” Patting the bread on the counter before softly pushing it closer toward her, you laughed at her show stopping grin and good-natured roll of her eyes in response.

“Fine,” she mumbled around the smile, the sound anything but angry. “If you insist.”

A few days later, you’d dropped a few stuffed animals off to her that Joel had stumbled on during patrol, Ellie tagging along with you. She had opted to stay outside the shop while you went in though, leaning against the doorframe by the front window, taking in the sights and sounds of the city street.

“Not a fan of needles,” she mumbled, glancing into the shop as you opened the door to go in.

“This isn’t that kind of needle.”

“I said what I said.”

You didn’t press her on it, just nodded and mumbled an ‘okay’ before disappearing into the shop.

“Hey!” Jane greeted you, pushing aside her current project immediately to make room for the box you were carrying. “Oh, these are cute!” She picked one up in each hand, lifting them up to look at them better before trading them out for another and repeating the process until each patient had been analyzed. “They’ll be easy.” She turned to you with a smile. “I’ll be done by this weekend.”

“No rush!” You assured her as she set the box behind the counter. “If you’re not done until then, you’ll have to leave them with Tommy, though. I’m going out of town with Joel on a run, it’ll take a few days, maybe a week max. We leave tomorrow. Though, no, actually, you can just leave them with Ellie, what am I saying-”

“You’re doing what?” She interrupted you.

Focusing back on her face, you tried to get back on topic. “What? Oh, yeah! We’re going back to where I lived right before Jackson to get the stores of paints and stuff I had. Bucket loads of it, no pun intended.” You turned to look at Ellie over your shoulder. “She’s rubbing off on me in more ways than one, I guess….”

“Is it just you and Joel?”

Her question caught you off guard, pulling your gaze back to her with knit brows. “It was going to be, but the council decided it was a ‘waste of resources’, so we have to take a little group with us. Why?”

“I’m coming with you.” No hesitation, just straight to the point.

Your eyes went wide. “What? Why?”

“You said you lived about a week north, right? Near the university?”

“Yeah. Because of the university, there were storage units nearby, used to be climate controlled before everything, now they’re just enclosed spaces with extra security to keep clickers n’ shit out. I lived in one, worked in another, and stored in a third. Got pretty good at picking locks, too.” You smirked.

Her eyes were wide and serious. “The ones by the north end of campus?”

Your expression went flat. “Don’t tell me….”

“I lived in an abandoned place on the south end of campus.” She had started to grin like a Cheshire Cat. “We probably were within spittin’ distance of each other and didn’t even know it.”

A laugh barked out of your chest, several more tumbling out after it until you were bent over her counter on your elbows, wheezing. Pushing up to rest on your forearms you met her gaze again, amusement on both your faces. “No fucking way.”

“I left a sewing machine behind. It was there when I moved in, and I hope it’s still there and still works, heaven knows, but…. The buildings by the school had power when the Fireflies were there. I’d use it when I could, and I was able to do so much more work. Now that I’m here I could actually make use of it with all that I have on my plate, and the dam giving us electricity….” She sighed dreamily. “I’m going. That’s final.”

Before you could respond, the bell over the door jingled, making you stand up straight and turn to look at the newcomer.

“Everything okay?” Ellie’s voice was soft as she poked her head in, causing you to do a double take. “I heard raised voices.”

You nodded once. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re all good. Just excited. Turns out we lived right by each other before moving here.”

“Oh shit! No way!” She stood up straight with a wide grin, stepping fully into the shop and letting the door close behind her.

“Language,” you scowled.

“Sorry, Miss Fanny,” she looked sheepish, spinning on her heel dramatically before exiting the shop.

You turned back to Jane who looked on amused. “She thinks she’s funny because I use a fanny pack.” Plopping onto a tall stool that sat in front of the counter, you stared at your friend.

Jane let out a low ‘ah’ as if she now understood everything.

Knitting your brows before arching one, you leaned on one elbow on the counter. “What?”

“Why is she outside?” She asked as she fiddled with some projects behind the counter.

“Said she ‘wasn’t a fan of needles’,” you mumbled, air quoting her words as you turned to look back at Ellie through the window. “Whatever that means.”

Jane hummed in understanding, drawing your eyes back to her. “Tommy got really drunk at the bar one night after I first got here. Saying all kinds of shit. People kept walking off because he wouldn’t shut up, so I opted to walk him home to Maria. It wasn’t far, and he’s a good guy. Anyway, on the way to his house, he starts mutterin’ about his brother and his new kid, how they just got back from some failed medical something or other with the Fireflies, most of it was unintelligible.” 

She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Ellie. You followed her gaze, finding the teen walking back and forth in the shade in front of the building, scuffing her heels as she went, and kicking rocks.

“Then, he got real sad, and said somethin’ about how he’d sent them to the university right after seein’ him for the first time in months. It was to get info on where to go for the medical procedure, I guess. Anyway.” She took a deep breath. “Apparently they got ambushed there, and Joel got stabbed real bad, almost didn’t make it. That girl out there had to care for him for weeks, drag him somewhere safe, stitch him up….”

Your breath caught in your chest as she paused for emphasis, unable to tear your eyes from Ellie as emotion swelled in your gut for your fellow housemates, but especially the tiny redhead on the other side of the glass.

“Tommy was real broken up about it. Said Joel almost died, and he felt like it was his fault. Ellie had to hunt, and somehow got Joel medicine.”

You turned to face Jane again. “How?”

“Those details weren’t real clear.” She shrugged. “Like I said, he was plastered. Maybe this whole story is some drunken imagining, but the way he sounded compared to all the shit he said in the bar?” Her face melted into something between sadness and understanding. “I’m inclined to believe him.” 

She took a hesitant breath, but stopped before letting it out slowly, then closed her eyes for a moment. After another shallow breath, she opened them to focus on you, and tried again, her voice even softer still. 

“We’d made it to his house by this point. Maria had come out and was helping me to get him inside, up the porch steps…. And he just broke down halfway up. Sat down, broke down, and started sobbing. Made it even harder to understand.” She rolled her eyes and you chuckled softly. “He said something about the medicine came at too high a cost. That Ellie paid…. Would be paying….” Jane swallowed roughly, looking to the girl through the window with something akin to admiration, then back at you. “He said it changed her.”

“Changed?” You could only whisper.

“Broke her. He said whatever happened was enough to take a spitfire, and make her an ember.” You both looked back at the teen one last time. “She’s improved a lot. I’ve seen her grow, come out of her shell just since I’ve been here, but…. It’s her eyes. They’re haunted. Whatever happened out there…. It didn’t stay out there. And it ain’t leavin’ anytime soon.”

“That explains a lot. About both of them,” you mused quietly.

“Joel I don’t know much about. He’s just the town grump.”

Despite the dark turn the conversation had taken, you burst out laughing, seeing Ellie turn toward the window at the sound with a grin.

“Everyone keeps telling me that, even him, but I just don’t see it!”

Jane’s face turned up in amusement softly. “Well, maybe you’re just one of the lucky ones like Ellie, and he likes you.”

“I think he tolerates me.” You looked across your shoulder at her, getting back to your feet from the stool you’d been perched on and faced her fully. “I live in his house. It’d be awkward if we hated each other.”

“True,” she grinned smugly.

“What?”

“You’ll figure it out.”

Xxx

Jane came riding up beside you, smiling wider than the canyon you’d passed a few miles back.

“I’m gonna regret askin’ but what in the hell has you happier than a butterfly on a daisy?”

“That’s not a real saying,” Jane mumbled, looking at you through skeptical, knit brows.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not applicable,” you countered, your own brows arched high in challenge. 

With a roll of her eyes and a sigh, Jane circled back to the topic at hand. “We’re out in the open!” She whispered, excitement lacing her tone. “I love Jackson, don’t get me wrong, but it’s so nice to be able to breathe.”

A smirk made its way up your face. “I know what you mean. Problem is you trade security for a great wide unknown. The possibilities of things that can go wrong out here are much scarier than anything in Jackson.”

She pulled a face. “Nothin’s gonna go wrong when we have a man like Joel leading us. He knows what he’s doing.”

“Most of the time,” you mumbled. “The rest he’s just wingin’ it.”

“Heard that,” Joel grumbled as he passed by your other side, pulling in front of you from the back of the group where he was making rounds. “You’re one to talk.” He looked over his shoulder at you, face stoic as ever, but his eyes showed his amusement.

“I know things,” you shot back, head tilted back to look down your nose at him. “Lots of stuff.”

“Oh, I see,” his tone was condescending, but playful. “Stuff.”

“And things.”

“Oh, we mustn't forget the things….”

“Yeah, okay.” You looked to the side with an unamused grin. “Fuck you, Joel.”

“I mean, if you’re offerin’….”

Your jaw dropped as your head turned slowly to face him, eyes wide as you simply stared at him in shock.

He smirked. “What? You can dish it, but you can’t take it?” Joel’s tone was nothing but teasing, his eyes dancing with unspoken amusement.

Narrowing your eyes at him, his smile faltered slightly. “You have no idea what I can take.” Nudging your horse forward to fall into step beside him, you held his gaze with your head high, brow arched. “And I don’t think you want to find out.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“When I push back. You wouldn’t be able to handle it, Joel.”

He cleared his throat. “Look, I was just messing around. This wasn’t supposed to take such a serious turn. I’m sor-”

You couldn’t take it anymore. The laugh tumbled out of your mouth before you could catch it, more and more coming out to join it.

Joel lowered his brows, glaring at you. “That ain’t funny.”

Wheezing, you pointed at him. “You should have seen your face!”

A horse trotting up beside you made you turn, expecting to see Jane once again at your side, but all you were met with was her horse, sans rider. You thought quickly enough to grab the reins and guide it along with you, before you looked back at Joel, finding his eyes already searching the group. Turning, you tried to sit higher in your saddle for a better vantage point, when movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention.

Near the tree line, Jane struggled in the arms of a man as he yanked her back towards the cover of the woods, none too delicately, one hand over her mouth to keep her quiet.

“Jane!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, and you could see when she heard you, her body going rigid in her captor's hold.

The man yelped, pulling his hand back from her mouth and shaking it. 

She must have bit him. 

Before you could fully process much of anything else, Jane was screaming at the top of her lungs, “Run!” 

The hand was back over her mouth before she could say anything else, the raider pulling them both back until they disappeared into the trees, Jane putting up a violent struggle as they went. 

Not willing to look away from where she disappeared, you called out for Joel, and he was beside you in an instant. His horse picked up on the sudden unease spreading over the group, shifting its weight from foot to foot restlessly.

“We’ll get her, darlin’,” Joel reassured in a low voice. “Don’t you worry. We ain’t-”

Suddenly the entire group was surrounded by raiders, guns and knives of various sizes pointed towards every member of your party, violent threats being traded back and forth from both sides. 

While you had thought your group was large, this bandit raid made your numbers pale in comparison. At least double your head count at first glance, easily. And you had a feeling more were lurking in the shadows somewhere, if what had happened to Jane was any indication. 

You noticed that while several of the men aimed menacing looking rifles at your party, they lacked the magazines full of ammunition to back them up. Leaning toward Joel as subtly as you could when they ordered everyone to dismount their horses, you mumbled under your breath, “They have no bullets.”

He looked at you in confusion for just a moment, brows knit until one of the raiders yelled loudly and pulled his attention away. 

Falling in behind him, you whispered again, “Their rifles. They have no ammunition. No magazines. It’s all for show.” You saw the moment the information registered for him, his shoulders setting a bit broader, and his head held just that much higher.

A raider a few feet to your right was eyeing you skeptically, looking like he might dismount his horse any second and make a move toward you, so you pretended to trip into the back of Joel, smirking into his chest when he caught you.

Without missing a beat, his arm firmly around your shoulders to steady you, Joel went straight for negotiations, trying to talk the men down, offering supplies, whatever they wanted. You weren’t far from Jackson, it was a smart move. You could get back and recoup your losses in no time. But people? You can’t replace them.

“Nah,” the head honcho said with a sarcastic sneer. “We’ve got somethin’ else’n mind.”

You didn’t like the sound of that.

The raider in charge gestured Joel over to a smaller group of his men, which he obeyed reluctantly. After looking down at you for a moment, offering the most subtle nod you’d ever seen a person give, he began to move toward the small group of raiders. 

The boss stopped him just short of the rest and asked him a question in a low voice, which Joel answered softly, shooting you a look which you couldn’t quite read. You couldn’t quite make out what he said, either, but then the head raider decided to make a scene, show who was in charge, and it all made sense. 

In a loud voice, full of bravado and misplaced charisma, the raider turned back to your group with arms spread wide, rifle held lazily in one hand, and called for Joel’s second in command - Will - to hop down and join his ‘fearless leader’. 

Surrounded by the smaller group of thugs, you could tell what the goal was…. They meant to make a spectacle for the rest of you. Take the leaders down, the rest will follow. But Joel didn’t let them get that far. He mumbled something to Will so subtly, you almost missed it, but you saw the younger man’s eyes dart to one of the raider’s guns, and you immediately knew where this was headed.

It all went by in a blur, and yet it was like you could see every detail in painful accuracy. And you couldn’t look away.

In an instant Joel had dropped three of the men in the smaller group surrounding them.

Will another two.

They both had commandeered their own rifles back off of those men, and they were now aimed at the remaining two raiders around their small group. 

The one in front of Joel began to move forward, only making Joel smirk as he jerked the bolt action on the rifle. “Try it.” The raider stopped, making Joel’s smirk only rise higher up his cheek. “Good choice.”

That’s when all hell broke loose. 

It was almost like someone kicked a pile of ants. The stillness of the valley you were in was broken and everyone swarmed at once. A cacophony of sounds clashing all around you. 

You went on autopilot for most of it, simply fighting for your life and that of those in your group. It could have been hours or only minutes later, but the next time you really started to pay attention, or frankly, were able to focus on any one thing in particular, you saw a raider sneaking up on Will a few paces in front of you, and you lifted the rifle you’d snagged off of one of the men you’d taken down.

“Hey, bucko!” The raider froze and turned to you with a sneer, the expression falling off his face when he came nose to nose with the muzzle of your rifle. You cocked the bolt action just for added effect, chambering a bullet as you somehow had found the one locked and loaded gun the raiders had. Hands lifted in surrender, he slowly took a resigned step backwards, grip tightening around the knife still clutched in his right hand. “Drop it,” you ordered, narrowing your eyes at his slight smirk. “Nice and easy, now.”

Will turned to see what the fuss was, his eyes going wide when he realized what had happened. He looked between you and the raider from over the bandit’s shoulder, raising a brow at you in question, but you motioned him on with a jerk of your head to the left, keeping the rifle braced on your right shoulder and aimed at the raider. “I got it. Go help the others.”

Nodding, Will took off toward the remaining chaos, leaving you with the scumbag at the end of your barrel. He started to move after Will but you tisked, taking a step closer. “Not a good idea.” The lowlife hissed through his teeth in aggravation, but you cut him off before he could even start in on an actual sentence. “Knife. Ground. Now.” With a half step forward for emphasis, you gestured toward the field underfoot with your rifle before centering your sights back on their target. 

The man arched his back away from you as you took the small step closer, his hands shooting up higher beside his head. He then began to slowly lower to his haunches to lay the blade on the grass, his other hand still held up in surrender. His eyes flitted from the weapon to something behind you, and before he could set it all the way down, or you could turn to look, an arm wrapped around your neck, cutting off your air supply.

Both the man behind you and the man in front of you laughed, cheering at your misfortune as you dropped your rifle, the weight of the weapon jerking its strap across your shoulders as it fell to your side. 

You clawed at the arm wrapped around your neck, gasping for air, and grunting as you tried to get a shot in with your elbow, but he pinned down your arms with his other arm wrapping around your torso.

A voice close to your ear leered, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’ll all be over soon.”

The raider in front of you suddenly started screaming, dropping the blade in his hand in order to clutch his knee, blood pouring violently from a wound made by a large pocket knife you’d know anywhere protruding from its side. 

“Don’t move!”

All three sets of eyes pulled over to find Joel standing just a few feet away, rifle raised and aimed at the raider now in a heap on the ground. His gun swung over to the man still holding you hostage, a dark chuckle rippling out through the chest pressed closely to your spine at the movement, and it made your skin crawl.

“Let ‘er go,” Joel said in a low voice, something dark and menacing thrown right back at the thief trying to steal your life away.

“Nah,” the man said after a minute, amusement heavy in his tone. “We’re just havin’ too much fun, aren’t we, sweetheart?” He tightened his grip around your neck as he pulled you closer, squishing his cheek to yours in mock affection.

You mumbled something as best you could, but it came out all garbled from the pressure on your windpipe.

“Aw, I’m sorry, I’m bein’ mean, aren’t I?” His tone was mocking. He loosened his grip slightly, the arm around your midsection disappearing altogether as he twisted slightly to get a better view of your face. “Now, try that again?”

“I said,” your voice was hoarse from the struggle, so you cleared your throat, shifting your weight slightly as you looked to Joel with wide eyes in mock fear. “I said-” In one smooth motion, you swung the butt of your rifle up and back, and slammed the man in the face, squinting when blood sprayed out of his mouth and onto your cheek.

Taking the opportunity, you elbowed him in the ribs, before stomping on his foot, spinning around once his arm around your neck released you and kneeing him in the crotch. 

Stepping closer to him once he fell to his knees cradling his damaged manhood, you looked down at him as you wiped his blood from your cheek with the back of your sleeve. “I said fuck you.”

With a quick jerk of your knee to his face, the raider fell backwards, out cold. You turned to face his friend who laid in a ball on the ground, hands gripped tightly around the knife still protruding from his knee.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He began to try and scramble back, looking to Joel for some sort of help as you approached.

Joel only shrugged, looking at you with wide eyes for just a moment before turning back to the poor man. “Hell hath no fury ‘n all that….”

Kneeling in front of the man, you smiled disarmingly sweet. Reaching out to grip the knife, you looked up at Joel. “This yours?” Lifting a brow at your rhetorical question, you knew very well it was his, he nodded. With a yank, you pulled it out of the man’s leg, his screams cut short when you elbowed him in the face, knocking him out like his companion.

Lifting your rifle slightly, Joel began to make a fuss, “Darlin’, they’re down-” but he stopped when you over exaggeratedly clicked on the safety, lifting a sarcastic brow at him. Rising to your feet, you wiped the blade off on your jeans before closing it and handing it back to Joel.

He took it cautiously, watching as you rubbed at your throat with a wince. “Thanks.”

“No, thank you. If you hadn’t shown up and distracted them, I wouldn’t have been able to get the jump on ‘em.”

He looked at the two men before looking back at you, his eyes flitting down to the rifle for the briefest of moments. “Looks like you would’ve been just fine.”

You leaned in closer to him, adjusting the weapon’s strap across your chest. “Take the compliment, Joel.”

He grinned softly. “Yes ma’am, Miss Fanny.”

You groaned at the nickname. “You know what? I don’t even really mind.”

It looked like Joel wanted to say more, but other members of your group came running up, looking around frantically only to find all the enemies already taken care of.

“We didn’t hear any shots,” Will said absently, staring at the two motionless forms on the ground after a wary glance. “Thought you might need some help.” After a long moment of silence, he looked from you, to Joel, then the raiders. “They still alive?” He pointed toward the men, one of them stirring with a pained moan.

“Only just,” Joel mumbled, watching the one man begin to roll to his side, the one who had held on to you, before his gaze flicked to the other, noticing his breaths becoming shallower and shallower. Gesturing to the latter with his rifle still held in his hands, he looked back up at Will. “That one’s not longed for this world if you don’t get something to stop the bleedin’. Need information from both, preferably.”

Will nodded, motioning to the others with a nod of his head, quickly moving toward the raiders.

You had turned toward Joel, your back to the men when a twisted voice rose up behind you, slurring around laughter as if it knew the funniest joke in all the world. 

“Well, sweetheart, I’m just so goddamn sorry things didn’t work out ‘tween us.” 

Joel glared at the raider over your shoulder. “Stop talking, asshole,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes as he took a step closer to the man, slightly in front of you. Turning to face the man yourself, you thought you’d steeled yourself for whatever you’d see, but the twisted smirk you were met with made your stomach drop. 

Laughter turned to wheezing, wet coughs before the man spit off to the side in front of him, blood painting the ground an ugly, violent color. He lifted his head just enough to look at you again, snickering as he peered through his lashes. “I had such plans for you….”

“I said be quiet,” Joel’s voice had grown more firm, and he opted to step to the side, obscuring your view of the creep instead of taking any steps closer.

“Oh, but they were nothin’ compared to what we were gonna do to that little friend of yours…. That blonde? Whoo! She was feisty!”

“Can somebody shut him the fuck up!” Joel bellowed, turning to the group simply standing by and watching the exchange.

Will shrugged off his outer layer flannel, balling it up as he stomped toward the man and began to shove it in his mouth.

The man weaseled back away from the cloth, shouting with wild eyes, “You’ll never find her!” His following laughter was muffled around the material, manic and unhinged.

“Will, I need you to….” Joel trailed off when you put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him to the side gently. He tried to stop you walking towards the lunatic, but you met his gaze with your own, unwavering, and he let you go, following close behind, one hand adjusting his grip on his rifle as he held it loosely just in case.

Kneeling down in front of the man, you got close to his face. “What did you do with Jane?” Your voice was so low and quiet, you barely recognized it.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” The man mumbled around the shirt, eyes wild and sure of himself. 

Looking down toward the ground, you huffed out an unamused laugh. “I’m going to ask you one more time,” you lifted your gaze to look at him straight on again, “and you’re going to tell me, or else my friends are going to be not so nice to you.” The man scoffed. “What did you do…. with Jane?”

The man leaned forward, his nose almost touching yours. “Go fuck yourself, bitch.”

Without hesitation, you slammed Joel’s pocket knife you’d swiped from his jacket a moment ago into the man’s hand where it rested on the ground with your left hand, yanking the shirt out of his mouth as he screamed with your right, and tackled him backwards onto the ground, pinning your right forearm against his throat. As he struggled against your hold, you twisted the knife still gripped tightly in your hand, making him settle into the dirt.

“Okay! Okay! Okay! Fuck! Just stop!” He looked at Joel with wide, wild eyes. “Get the bitch off me!” 

You noticed some of your party moving toward you, but they stopped with a hand motion from Joel.

He studied you with an unreadable expression before looking back at the man and jutting his chin toward you. “Tell her what she wants t’know.”

“Get her off me first!”

“Talk!” You growled, digging your arm in further, making him gasp. When he turned a defiant look up your way, your knee ‘slipped’ where you straddled him and landed dangerously close to his ego once again.

“Okay, okay, goddamn!” He wheezed, collapsing fully into the ground below him, eyes fluttering shut as his face twisted in pain. 

It was all you could do to repress the triumphant smirk wanting to crawl up your face, your brows arching in amusement instead.

“She’s back at our camp. ‘Least that’s where we left her. Don’t know how she’d move much after what boss did, though.” He looked back up at you again, everything about his expression amused, and nothing seemed to dull it, even as you pressed your arm harder into his throat, only causing his words to take on a sinister hiss. “He stuck her good. You think this little knife is somethin’, you should see the one he used on-” his words trailed off on a gurgled chuckle as you continued to lean into him.

“Hey,” Joel’s calm voice near your ear made you pause, staring down at the creep. “We need him alive, darlin’. Stop.” A warm strong hand gripping your upper arm firmly made you lift off the man just slightly, glaring down at him as he sucked in a breath and started coughing, grinning up at you triumphantly. He hissed with a wince when you yanked out the knife, bringing the hand close to his chest to hold it tight with his other, and wrapped it haphazardly with the flannel Will had shoved in his mouth to stop the bleeding. 

“You Jacksoner’s are all the same,” he shook his head in amusement. “Bleeding hearts, all of ya!” He grinned up at the group in the most sinister way you’d ever seen. “And that is why you’re all gonna burn.”

At that, Joel was yanking you off the raider and pulling him up to a seated position with both hands twisted into his jacket, getting right into his face with the most menacing voice you’d heard yet. “What did you just say?”

The man just smiled a tight lipped smile, eyebrows shooting up before he used his good hand to pantomime locking his mouth and tossing away the key.

“They had a bunch of dead guns. No ammunition. How in the hell were they planning to do something to Jackson?” You mused offhandedly, mostly talking to yourself.

“Guns ain’t the only way to make somebody bleed,” the freak singsonged, looking at you gleefully.

You glared at him. “I liked you better out cold.”

He guffawed. “I liked you better up close….”

Joel gave the man a forceful shake by the front of his shirt still in his grip. “What’d I say?” The man rolled his head back to Joel with a bored look, his lips twitching up just slightly. “Y’either start talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ important I want t’hear about, or I’ll reach my hand so far down your Goddamn-”

“This one’s not doing well, Joel,” one of the party mentioned, checking the pulse of the other raider. “We need to get them back to camp.”

The man in Joel’s grip slowly melted into a wide grin. “Looks like you need me now more than ever.”

Joel began to smirk, and it made the raider’s sure grin falter. “Yeah, but that can change real quick.” He shoved the man back, rising to his full height before turning back toward you and walking quickly. A hand closing around your arm once again, you followed where it led. 

“Get them to camp. Will, get a party of four together and come with us to go get Jane. The rest of these assholes are dead, there’s no one to keep her there anymore. She probably tried to run, and if she’s injured, we need to spread out and cover as much ground as possible.” 

He stopped, looking over his shoulder when no one was moving. “Let’s go!”

When he turned to look down at you, you saw something in his eyes close to fear. “We’ll find her, Joel.”

He held your gaze as he kept moving you further away from the scene. “I know, darlin’.” He looked forward again, walking a bit faster. “I know. Now let’s get goin’. Sun’s gonna be settin’ real soon.”

Xxx

As the two of you made your way in the direction the thug had sent you in, your mind began to wander.

“What if it’s the wrong direction, Joel?”

“He said go east-”

“No, I know.” You closed your eyes briefly as you took in a sharp breath through your nose before looking forward once again. “But what if he lied?”

Joel sighed, looking down at his feet as he continued to walk. “Darlin’,” he looked deep in thought but also at a loss for words at the same time. It was such an inextricably Joel thing to do, it almost pulled a smile up one side of your face.

Almost.

Glancing over his shoulder toward the small group that was following along to help, the rest staying behind with the two assholes, he then took a step closer to you, speaking in a low voice.

“He very well may’ve.” When your eyes went wide, Joel was quick to continue on. “But,” he smiled at your now narrowed glare. “I’ve been patrolling these hills for a few years, now. Never out this far, mind you, but I know the general area. There’s a stream that runs not far from here. Anyone with any brains would camp near it. I know the worlds gone t’shit, but I refuse to believe we as a species have fallen that far that fast.”

His smile spread a little further at your soft chuckle.

“Touché, Miller. Touché.”

Grinning like a child, Joel turned back to the rest of the group, his expression turning stony in an instant. “The rest of you, fan out!” His voice was a low hiss. “Keep quiet and keep aware. These trees are dense from here on out to the creek. Keep a lookout. I’m not responsible for your own stupidity.”

Good-natured eye rolls went around as the few people spread into the trees starting to populate the clearing you’d been passing through.

Joel grabbed your arm when you went to take a step forward. “Not you.” He shook his head gently when you looked up at him. “You’re coming with me.”

“I’ll stay within sight,” you argued, pulling your arm from his grip. “I’m not a child, Joel.”

“No, you don’t-”

“I can take care of myself.” Taking a few steps forward into the tree line, you looked for any signs of life, but before you could get far, Joel’s voice was at your ear again. 

“Don’t-”

He yanked you back into him, making you stumble into his chest. Lifting your head up to glare at him, you came nearly nose to nose as he looked down at you and you looked up at him. Your breath stopped, catching in your chest as your eyes scanned his face.

“Tripwire,” he mumbled, his eyes firmly watching your lips as they moved soundlessly in shock.

“Thanks,” you finally managed, closing your mouth and clearing your throat.

Joel nodded.

You went to take a step back, looking over your shoulder towards the trap, but his grip on your upper arm wouldn’t let you move. 

Turning back to look at him in question, your curious expression melted when you found him even closer than before, his eyes cast down as his nose lightly bumped the side of yours.

The distance continued to close, only a breath left between you when a faint scuffle then a thud was heard, making you both pull apart like lightning.

Turning, the two of you saw Will suspended upside down by his ankle from a nearby tree.

“Careful. Tripwire,” you grinned.

Will smirked sardonically, arms coming to cross over his chest after batting away his flannel outer layer that hung in his face since he was inverted - he’d dug out a spare from his bag after using his original to shove into the mouth of the crazy raider. “We found a blood trail.”

The smile fell off your face as your gut sank. “That’s-”

“A good thing,” Will cut you off. “Means she was moving. She was alive.” After a loaded moment of shared looks, he cleared his throat. “Can someone cut me down, please? I’m getting woozy.”

Xxx

You only encountered a few stragglers at the camp, Joel earning some bloody knuckles and you a black eye, but the remaining members of the bandit group lay in lifeless heaps at the feet of your group when it was all said and done. There was no chance for prisoners, they weren’t going to be taken alive. 

Which meant that one idiot back at the camp who’d tried to kill you had to stay alive if you wanted any answers.

The thought of that made you start to hyperventilate. 

Which wasn’t like you.

You took everything in stride, this new world required it, but suddenly you felt his arm around your neck again, and you began to claw at the phantom limb, gasping for air as tears began to stream silently down your face.

You couldn’t look anywhere without seeing a body, violence, bloodshed….

Can’t breathe….

Everything blurred by as you faintly registered your feet moving you forward, a warm hand around your forearm pulling you gently along before the firm press of tree bark met your back with a gentle thump.

The soft trace of rough, callused fingers making their way past your cheeks to rest behind your ears drew a shiver from your bones. “I’ve got you. You’re okay. You’re good. It’s over. I’m here.” Joel’s mumbled words vibrated somewhere in front of you, desperately grasping at you to give you something to hold onto. Cradling your face in his hands, Joel stood toe to toe with you. He took a small step closer and leaned down, pressing his forehead to your own as you fought for air. “Nothing’s gonna get you. I won’t let it.”

The phantom touch of that asshole’s arm around your throat still constricted your airway, threatening to make the world cave in.

Joel reached up to gently grab your hands still frantically clawing at your throat, placing them on either side of his ribcage, and you clutched onto his flannel under his jacket for dear life. The warmth from his body heat radiated into your palms and sent a wave of something down to your toes. Worrying the threadbare fabric between your fingers mindlessly, Joel seemed to notice and step even closer still, enough that a deep enough breath would close the distance. 

Though, as you thought about it, how he still had room to maneuver any further into you was a mystery, you didn’t even know it was possible. It seemed like every part of you was wrapped up in every part of him.

His voice drew your thoughts back to the present. “Hey, hey. Shhhh…. No more. He’s gone.” Did his voice just crack? “It’s over.” His voice grew a little firmer, if not quieter. “It’s over.”

If only he knew, you weren’t struggling to breathe because of the remnants of a panic attack anymore. No, now it was his proximity. His warm breath fanning across your face as he mumbled words of peace. The press of his skin against yours as he cradled your face so gingerly.

Time stopped, the world ceased its spinning, and suddenly all that was left was this right here between the two of you. This quiet moment, in the middle of a forest, painted in violence and hope, in fear and tenacity, in…. Vibrant shades of both of you.

Will walked up around the tree quietly, clearing his throat softly. “Some of these men were dead long before we got here.”

“Jane,” you smiled. 

“That girl sure is a spit fire,” Joel remarked with his own grin, pulling away from you just slightly, but still keeping you in his hold.

Turning to Will, you steeled your shoulders. “Take me to the blood trail.”

Xxx

It took all of ten minutes of tracking to find Jane leaning against a tree with her back to you, heaving breaths as the right side of her shirt was stained crimson. The violent splotch was spreading, whatever wound obviously still angry and weeping under her white shirt, her outer layer long gone and forgotten in the chaos by now. 

“Jane?” You called out softly from several yards back. A twig snapped under foot, causing a flock of birds in the trees above to startle and take flight in a whir of wings and wind.

She whirled around, knife held out in front of her at the ready, eyes wide and wild from the adrenaline. When she realized who it was, relief washed over her features so strongly it brought tears to your eyes. She dropped the blade to the ground with a clatter and slumped the side of her shoulder against the tree with a huff.

“Took you long enough,” she breathed in amusement, turning so her back was to the tree with her head thrown back, her face toward the sky, wincing in pain.

Before you could even make a move towards her, Will was there helping her back to her feet, scooping her up bridal style and carrying her back towards camp, her head on his shoulder as she went limp, finally able to rest.

Will glanced back when no one else moved. “Come on!” He whisper shouted. “She needs help as soon as possible, or I’m going to-” He caught himself. “We’re going to lose her.”

As the group moved in unison behind a speedwalking Will, you glanced up at Joel in amusement. “Do you think he knows?”

Joel shook his head with a grin. “Everyone else does, so no, probably not.”

You chuckled, despite the situation. It was probably the relief that she was alive finally catching up with you. “That girl’s got his number.”

Huffing a laugh, Joel looked at the back of Will’s head as he rapidly disappeared at the front of the group. “Wrapped around her little finger like those little things she uses to protect herself when she sews back at her shop. Oh, what’re they called?”

You stared at him for a long moment before quietly suggesting in hesitation, “Thimbles?”

Joel slapped his thigh before pointing at you with a renewed grin. “That’s the one!”

With a shake of your head, you turned back to face forward and head up toward the front with your friends. “Ellie was right. You’re losing it, old man.”

“Ain’t old,” he grumbled, his face instantly turning sour. “Jus‘ ‘xperienced.”

“Then you should know all the words, Joel.” You smirked. “No excuses.”

“I do know all the words,” he groused. “That’s the problem. I know too much, my brain can’t keep up.”

You turned to face him, walking backwards. “Sure. That’s the problem.”

“I know things,” he shot back, echoing your words from earlier, his head tilted back to look down his nose at you in a mirror image as he continued to mock your earlier statement. “Lots of stuff.”

“Oh, I see,” your tone was condescending, but playful as you mimicked him right back. “Stuff.”

“And things.” He was trying so hard not to smile.

You were not, letting the grin spread broadly across your face. “Oh, we mustn't forget the things….”

“Yeah, okay.” Joel looked to the side to try and hide his amused grin. “Fuck you, darlin’.”

“I mean, if you’re offerin’….”

His head snapped back to look at you in surprise as you threw his words right back at him yet again. Joel opened his mouth to refute, but you cut him off with a grin. 

“I’m going to go make sure he doesn’t promise her his house or something. Boy would give her half of Jackson if he could.”

“He can have your half, you jackass,” Joel grumbled playfully as you turned back to face the front of the group. “Mine ain’t for sale. Don’t care how pretty you are.”

You glanced over your shoulder, fluttering your lashes ridiculously. “You think I’m pretty?”

“I meant her,” Joel gestured to your friends with his rifle still loosely gripped in his hands, strap slung over his shoulders, at the ready just in case, like always. “Ain’t nothin’ pretty ‘bout what you just said.”

“I only spoke the truth.”

“You’re only makin’ it worse.”

Xxx

The sun was setting by the time Joel was able to pry you away from Jane. You hadn’t wanted to leave her side as Will took it upon himself to treat and dress her wound. 

You held her hand as she grunted in pain while he disinfected the area with a bottle of alcohol someone had brought, then stitched it up. Luckily the blade had missed anything vital, and hadn’t been rusty, thank goodness.

So far this whole trip had been getting by by the skin of your teeth, and that didn’t bode well with you. 

Once she fell asleep, Joel coaxed you over to a clearing not too far away for a breath. A bucket full of water from the nearby stream had been brought to wash the blood off your hands.

Staring down at the water as it turned pink under your touch, tinged with the blood of your friend, you looked up when a shadow crossed over the little bit of sunlight left in the day.

Joel stood just in front of the dying light, backlit and a silhouette as he extended a…. rock? to you.

“That creek is fed from the mountains. Snow melt. Coldest thing around. Best alternative to ice we’ve got right now.” You narrowed your brows at him, making him sigh in frustration. “For your eye,” he said as if it were obvious. 

“Oh,” you said dumbly and took it, lightly resting it against your left eyebrow where you felt the worst of the black eye forming. The cool, smooth stone instantly offered some relief for an ache you hadn’t even realized you had, making you groan softly, and shut your eyes with a grateful sigh. “Thank you.”

He nodded. “Mmm-hmm.” The side of his mouth twitched up as he lowered himself to the ground beside you with a quiet groan. “T’ain’t nothin’.”

Pulling the stone away to examine it for a moment, you arched a brow when Joel slowly pressed it back to your head. “Don’t work if you don’t keep it there, darlin’.”

“Really?” You said as sarcastically as you could muster.

“Huh-uh,” he confirmed with a gentle shake of his head, keeping the stone pressed firmly to your skin. “It’s not a comfort by osmosis thing.”

“No healing by proxy?” You groused, despite the smile working its way up your face, your one good eye squinting from the held back laughter you were just managing to reign in as you looked up at him.

The corner of his mouth lifted so high a dimple creased his cheek. “Now wouldn’t that be somethin’,” he mused softly. 

The two of you sat in comfortable quiet for a long moment, his hand still holding the rock to your head gently until you finally decided it was time to break the silence.

“So what’s the plan from here, Mr. partially-in-charge-of-security?”

Joel’s hand fell from you with a sigh as he shook his head slightly in disbelief, his gaze turned forward as if he couldn’t even bear to look at you after an attempt at a joke that bad. “I’ve been goin’ over it in my head since we left their camp-”

“That must’ve been painful,” you muttered, grinning innocently when he cut his eyes over to you.

They shut briefly with another loaded sigh before they fluttered open and he turned to look at the forest on his right while he continued. “Best I can come up with-” he held a finger up in front of your face without a glance back your way. “I don’t wanna hear it.”

You stared at his finger inches from your nose. “I wasn’t-” You totally were. 

The finger began to wag as his head rolled back to level you with a look. “Now, we both know that’s a lie, darlin’.” You shrank under his continued stare and he went on. “Best I can think of is to send the majority back home since we’re still so close to Jackson. Have them protect Jane and those two raiders we got to interrogate.” His arms were propped up on his bent knees, and his fist clenched at the mention of the thugs.

After he stared off vacantly for a moment, he brought his gaze back onto you. “That means the cart is going to have to go back with them, though. Jane’s in no condition to walk, and you did a number on asshole number one.” He chuckled. 

“Don’t even worry about the cart,” you waved him off. “Jane is more important. What about asshole number two?” Rubbing your throat absently with the hand not holding the rock to your head, you stared into the trees straight ahead before you realized what you were doing and lowered your hand, turning your gaze back to Joel. “He can still walk just fine.” You tilted your head in thought for a moment. “May be a little bit more of a waddle, but….”

Joel chuckled darkly, hanging his head as his shoulders shook with the laughter. Finally he looked up at you through his lashes, a conniving expression twinkling in his eyes. “Let the little ugly duckling waddle back, then.”

“How will we be sure he doesn’t waddle off?”

“I’ve been known to tie a knot or two in my day.”

As the novelty of the whole situation wore off, you turned to face Joel a bit more fully, letting the hand that held the rock fall from its spot against your face to rest in your lap, ignoring Joel’s scowl in protest. 

“You said most of the group. Joel, we should all go back. Safety in numbers. Making sure everyone is safe is more important than my paint-” 

“Safety in numbers. Exactly. That’s why most’f’em are goin’ back. We only need a few t’do this run. It also made us a target bein’ such a big group. The council made a shit decision ‘bout that. There’s a reason patrols’re only two people.” He looked out at the woods again. “It was temptin’ to leave it just the two’f us as originally planned, but, after yesterday, even you could see the perks’f havin’ a few extra people should somethin’ happen.”

“Quality not quantity.”

Joel bobbed his head, his eyes shining proudly as you understood. “‘xactly.”

Something wasn’t sitting right. “But what about the threats, Joel? They said somethin’ about Jackson was gonna burn….”

“People say all kinds o’shit when you’ve got a pocket knife in one hand n’your knee pinnin’ their crotch to the dirt.”

You let out a snort, unable to contain your laughter at his blunt explanation. “Can’t say you’re wrong there.”

Joel leaned back with a contented sigh, propping his arm up on his bent leg. “I’m never wrong.”

You let out another snort of laughter, more bubbling up and out when he shot you a glare. 

Xxx

That night, just as the sun began to set, Joel slammed the back tailgate of the cart shut after helping Jane up into it.

“You good?” He asked quietly, his voice soft and kind.

“I’ll be fine. Thank you, Joel.” Jane reached out a hand to rest on his shoulder. 

“Not worried ‘bout you, sweetheart,” he mumbled, his eyes darting over to the wounded raider sitting as far from him as he could get in the front corner of the cart. The bandit cowered under his stare but stayed silent. “Was more worried ‘bout him.” Joel looked at Jane pointedly as he explained, his head tilted forward while he looked at her through his lashes and arched brows.

“Like I said,” Jane spoke firmly, her voice low and even as she turned to look at the asshole, making him cower even further. “I’ll be fine.”

“Whaddabout me?” The second bandit who had tried to choke you said loudly and amusedly from where he stood behind the cart a few feet away from Joel, his hands bound by one end of rope and the other end tied to the back of the cart. “Do I get a send off from tall, dark and brooding?”

Joel turned to him without even fully looking at the man, cocking his rifle as he spoke on a tired sigh. “That can be arranged.”

The raider guffawed as he stumbled back a few steps, Joel striding forward the ground he lost, while you stepped in between, hands extended.

“Stop. There’s no time for this.” Turning to face Joel, you lowered your arms. “Joel, let the little shit leave.”

The raider’s voice rose behind you like a forgotten tendril of smoke, thin and pungent, just enough to remind you it was there. “Ain’t nothin’ little ‘bout me, darlin’.”

Without a second thought, you whirled around and clocked the thug in the eye, making him stumble back further, the rope stretching to its limit and yanking him forward to his knees.

“Except your brain, apparently.” You shook out your hand to your side, the impact from the punch leaving a searing sting across your knuckles. “You don’t get to call me that.”

“What do I get to call you then?” The man sneered, bringing his bound hands up to swipe at his face.

You took a step closer, smirking, and enjoyed how the amused sparkle in his eyes faltered slightly at the sight. “Whatever you say when you’re begging for your life, tough guy.”

The man swallowed nervously, despite his narrowed eyes of contempt. “I don’t beg for anything. From anyone. ‘specially not you.”

You let your eyes travel up and down the length of him slowly in an unnerving appraisal. “We’ll just see about that. Won’t we, Joel?”

“Lookin’ forward t’hearin’ just how loudly he won’t beg….” Joel mused behind you.

“Fuck. You,” the man hissed.

“No. Thanks,” you sneered back.

Will pulled your attention away as he stepped up on the wheel of the cart to lean in beside Jane, his weight making the whole thing squeak under the pressure. “Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you to keep this asshole in line?” He jerked his head toward the guy tethered at the back.

Jane smiled and patted Will’s cheek lightly. “I think I’ll be just fine. Like I told Joel.” Her eyes flicked between the two of them. Her voice sickly sweet. “Now if you two don’t stop coddling me, one of you is going to be injured and sitting beside me on this trip back to Jackson. So shut,” she looked at Will, “your,” Joel, “piehole.” She looked at you.

You raised your hands in surrender. “Me? “ They turned out in question. “What did I do?!”

She shrugged, her head tilting just slightly. “It was preemptive.” Leaning towards Will again, she kissed him on the cheek, smiling when he began to sputter and turn six shades of red. “Stay with Joel. He needs you here more than he’ll admit.”

“I heard that,” Joel grumbled, walking past the end of the cart as he began to check in with the rest of the group.

“Good. You were meant to,” Jane grinned, lurching slightly as the cart began to move forward, Will jumping from the wheel before it could turn fully.

As the bandit walked past Will, he turned to him with a sadistic grin. “Don’t I get a goodbye kiss, handsome?”

“Sure,” Will said with a disarming smile, making the other man stumble for a moment. The next he was stumbling further after Will sucker punched him in the mouth. “How was that? Was it good for you, too?”

The raider in the cart was looking on wide eyed, but you caught him grinning slightly at the exchange, looking away quickly to try and hide it when Will glanced his way.

Jane was laughing as the cart began to disappear into the sunset. Her head thrown back, eyes closed, hand over her stomach type laughter. “Don’t make me laugh! It hurts!”

Will gave a dopey grin as he watched them disappear into the dying light, Jane and the bandit tied to the back of the cart bickering back and forth about nonsense that you couldn’t quite make out at this distance, but you could tell she wasn’t taking any shit.

“She’ll be okay.” You walked up to Will, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I know.” He was distant, his mind a million miles off. “I know.”

Xxx

Tags: @dilf-din @lupinpetersclearwaterodairparker @what-the-heckin-heck @telarnidaniela @kalea-bane @morgaussy @enjoythelittlethings @paleidiot @telepathay @carlyreneeinthemoon @competitivedust @ruthyalva96 @brittmb115 @azure-waves @hiddenbabynyc @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @heather1482 @stevie75 @hotzaddypedro

Wanna be tagged if/when I write any future Joel stuff? Here’s how to sign up!

[five-oh-thirst]

Mine

[Part I]

Pairing: Jesse/Kix

Summary: When several omegas from the 501st are taken captive by alpha slave traders, Kix steps up to protect his brothers from one of the guards, but it leads to more consequences than he bargained for.

Tags & Warnings: 18+, NSFW, omegaverse, clones with vaginas, rape/non-con, forced voyeurism, rough sex, oral sex, cum swallowing, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, knotting, biting/marking, mating/bonding, mating bites, mating bond, forced bonding, mate stealing, breeding, pregnancy, m!preg, pregnancy sex, abortion, forced abortion, miscarriage, still birth, grief/mourning, violence, blood, whump, eventual happy ending

Word Count: 10.2k

Notes: I decided to cut the fic into two parts because it got obnoxiously long, and I kept adding to it. All the Kix whump is in the first part, and all the soft Jessix will be in the second part. I'll add more tags when I post the second part. This is my first cloneship fic, so I hope it turned out well! P.S. I love Jesse and Kix, but sometimes you need to toss your favorite blorbos into a wood chipper and see what happens.

Read on AO3

Music Vibe:

Kix was startled awake by the sound of his cell door creaking open. The lack of natural light in the room made it difficult to distinguish his surroundings, and the minimal artificial light only strained his eyes further. His body, which was stripped of its protective armor when he was taken, protested against the pressure points from the uneven earthen floor he laid on and the binders connected to heavy durametal chains chafed at his bare wrists and ankles.

He sat up to investigate the late-night visit, although he didn't know what time it was, and even with cautious, slow movements, his chains still rattled. They had a bit of length so he could move around freely within the cell, but not enough to reach the cell door. The cell, more like a cage, was made of thick floor-to-ceiling durametal bars except for a single duracrete wall opposite the cell door where the other end of his chains found their home.

The alpha guard, who captured him and the other omega clones, entered Kix's cell dragging a new, younger-looking clone behind him by the collar of his blacks. The clone kicked and flailed his arms to try and break free from the guard, but was no match for his power, and was tossed like a ragdoll against the same duracrete wall Kix was chained to. The guard quickly fastened the new clone's ankles and wrists with binders, ensuring no hope of escape.

Kix chewed on his lower lip as he watched and waited from his section of the wall for the guard to leave their cell, but his brow furrowed when the guard lingered longer than usual. He had left immediately after locking the rest of them up, but this time, the guard knelt in front of the young clone, smoothed his hand over their knee, and leaned in to whisper something Kix couldn't hear. Whatever was said made the young clone flinch and the guard smile.

After the guard left their cell and the holding room, Kix shifted to face the young clone. "What's your name trooper?"

The young clone didn't look at Kix. He pulled his knees up against his chest but the rattle of the chains spooked him and he jerked back, which only resulted in the chains rattling louder.  His chest heaved, but he eventually settled down and rested his head atop his knees. No one could see it, but Kix could hear him sniffling.

"It's Tully, sir," the young clone whispered.

Kix cracked a sympathetic smile; the poor kid was terrified. "You can drop the 'sir' in here, vod'ika. I'm Kix, one of the medics."

Tully didn't respond.

"Over there is Echo and Denal," Kix said. He pointed to the other two cells in the holding room. "And over there is Dogma and Tup."

Tully picked his head up from his makeshift hiding place and looked at the other clones resting in their cells. They waved at him, but he didn't wave back, and instead, buried his face back into his knees.

"How old are you?" Kix asked. It wasn't an important question, and he didn't care much for the answer, but it would keep the young clone's mind thinking about something other than his current situation.

"Ten," Tully said, his voice muffled by his knees.

Kix chuckled. "You really are a vod'ika. How long have you been with the 501st?"

"This was my first mission," Tully said.

Kix sighed. "Not what you expected, huh?"

Tully tensed and tightened his arms around his knees.

"It's gonna be okay," Kix said. The words of comfort were for the young clone, but also for everyone else in the room, including himself. As the lead medic, Kix wasn't only in charge of his trooper's physical wellbeing, but also their emotional wellbeing and morale. Someone had to stay strong in their bleak situation, and that someone was him.

Tully picked his head up again to look around the dim room. "What is this place?"

Kix frowned. "It's an omega selling house."

Tully snapped his attention from the cobweb he was staring at to look into Kix's eyes for the first time. Kix stared back into his familiar brown irises and found them full of fear. It tugged at his heartstrings but lying wouldn't help anyone.

"What are they gonna do to us?" Tully asked. The fear poured out of his voice like a spigot.

"Don't know," Kix said with a shrug of his shoulders, and he was being honest. It was his first time in this type of situation, too, and he wasn't sure what to expect, but he did know one thing for sure. "But our alphas will come get us."

"Oh," Tully said.

"D'you have an alpha?" Kix asked.

The young clone rested his head on his knees again. "Not really. Well, I do, but I don't. He's just my batchmate, but we've been together for a while. I mean, he's never marked me or anything, and we haven't…" he made an awkward gesture with his shoulders. "You know…"

Kix smiled. He knew all too well. Many of the younger clones were shy or embarrassed about their sexual desires, but in his many years of medical experience, and as a listening ear to his patients, Kix could tell when one of them was pining. "Sounds like he's your alpha to me. And even if he doesn't come get you, I'm sure when you get back to him, he'll want to mark you right away."

Tully smiled for the first time since he arrived. It was a small smile, barely noticeable, but it was there. "Maybe."

"Just think about him," Kix said. "It'll help."

"Do you have an alpha?" Tully asked.

Kix smiled fondly and traced a circle in the dirt on the cell floor. "I do." He chuckled to himself as he thought about Jesse and how enraged he probably was right now with him being missing. "He's a strong alpha. Big, too. And between you and me, Captain Rex isn't the top alpha in the 501st. Mine is."

Tully gasped as if what Kix just said was blasphemous. "Really?"

"Really," Kix repeated. "He's the most aggressive alpha you'll ever meet, and if he's in the room, you'll know it. Just one look from him will make any alpha bare their neck in fear."

"So, he'll come?" Tully asked, letting hope touch his words for the first time.

"Without a doubt," Kix said. There was some doubt, but Kix couldn't say that. He knew Jesse wouldn't stop looking for him, and Rex wasn't about to lose some of his best men to a lousy bunch of omega slavers. He knew they'd come, eventually, but he had no idea when that would be.

There was a long period of silence in the room after Kix and Tully's conversation ended. Everyone became drowsy once the adrenaline wore off from when the guard came in and it was about time for them to go back to sleep. Echo and Denal spooned together on top of a small straw patch in their cell and Tup and Dogma sat back-to-back while leaning their sides against their duracrete wall.

Kix had been sleeping alone since he was brought in. He preferred to sleep on his side with his back to the wall because it felt the safest. Once situated, Kix looked over at Tully, who was still holding onto himself for comfort and he felt sympathy for the young clone. They all knew each other, but Tully didn't know any of them. At least, not in the way Torrent Company knew each other. It would be cruel to let him sleep alone, especially on his first night.

"Why don't you come over here and sleep with me," Kix offered.

Tully picked his head up and looked at Kix, tears streaming down his face. "Are you sure?"

Kix smiled and raised his arm as an invitation for Tully to lie next to him. "I'm sure."

Tully wiped his tears with his sleeve and scurried across the short distance of their cell, chains rattling loudly, then plunged himself into the medic's chest. Kix was startled, but wrapped his arms around Tully and let him cry. He still didn't know what the guard said to shake him up, but whatever it was, he wouldn't let it happen. Tully was a shiny and probably didn't have a scar on him. He was Tully's senior by three years and it was his duty to keep him safe. Actually, he was the oldest of all the clones in the holding room and he was determined to protect them.

The young clone remained inside the safety of Kix's arms while they slept for as long as they were able. It was probably the best sleep the kid could get in their dark, dingy, and damp cell. Creature comforts were non-existent in their little prisons, more like cages, but the best comfort a clone could ask for was always a brother, or better yet, an alpha.

However, the only alphas around them were the guards. They were strong enough alphas to keep everyone in line, except for Kix. He wasn't joking when he told Tully his alpha was strong. Kix never met another alpha on Jesse's level, and any alpha beneath him was a cakewalk to deal with. He could ignore them and their alpha voices. There wasn't an alpha he met that could order him around, and anyone who dared to try was met with Jesse's wrath.

It must've been around the morning when the guard came back to the holding room because he was holding the bag with their rations in it. It wasn't much for one rotation, especially for a clone, but it got them by. Water was the bigger commodity. The cells had automatic watering systems–bowls on either side of the cells, adjacent to duracrete walls, where water pooled once a rotation. If being a clone didn't make him feel like livestock, that did.

Kix opened his eyes and watched the guard's movements from where he lay against the wall. That was the other advantage to his sleeping position–an easy observation point of the enemy. Jesse taught him that. Tully was still sleeping in his arms, but Kix chose not to wake him. There was no point in waking, and scaring, him if the guard was going to leave after dropping off their food.

The guard walked around the holding room and tossed the ration bars into the cells like feed to animals–one per trooper. Kix found it demeaning, but the other clones grabbed the bars after the guard walked past their cells and ate them without a fuss. When the guard tossed the bars into his cell, Kix didn't move. He would wait until the guard left, then wake Tully to eat their rations.

However, the guard lingered in his cell. He stood in front of the door and leaned against the thick bars. "What's the matter? Not hungry?"

Kix didn't respond.

"Answer me, omega," the guard said.

Kix stayed silent.

The guard huffed. He grabbed the keys out of his pocket, unlocked the cell door, walking in like he owned the place and them. Kix gripped Tully tighter against his body as the guard approached them. The guard squatted down and waved a ration bar in front of Kix's face. "I can't sell dead omegas," he said. "Eat."

"I'll eat when you leave," Kix said. He felt Tully's head move against his chest, but Kix kept his hold on the younger clone firm so he couldn't wiggle away as he stirred. This jump scare was the last thing the kid needed.

The guard shook his head. "That's not how this works, sweetheart. You eat when I tell you to eat."

Kix stared guard down.

The guard narrowed his eyes. "You're a feisty one, aren't you? Don't worry, I'll break that out of you."

Kix growled.

"Defiant too," the guard said. "You know what ya need?" He tapped the ration bar against Kix's nose. "An example of a good omega." 

Before Kix could react, the guard grabbed Tully by the hair and yanked him out of Kix's arms, both sets of chains swung and rattled violently, alerting the other clones to the commotion in the cell. Kix tried to hold onto Tully but he knew it would hurt more to be pulled in two different directions and the alpha guard was stronger, so he reluctantly released his grip on the young clone.

Tully yelped as the guard flattened him onto the ground and pressed his face into the dirt with a single hand held against the back of his neck. He kicked and flailed, scraping his fingertips and toes across the floor to try and get away, but the guard straddled his back, pinning him in place with his weight. There wasn't anything the other clones could do to help Tully now; only watched and hoped it would be over soon.

"Tell me something," the guard said to the young clone. He ran his other hand down Tully's spine. "You're so small. Have you gone into heat yet? You ever taken a knot before?" He ground his hips down against Tully's back for emphasis then leaned over to nose at his neck. "All the other omegas have a mark except you."

Tully cried out. "Stop!" He tried to pull his neck away, but the guard followed his movements.

The guard smiled at the young clone's struggle and licked over his unsullied mating gland. "Now I'll deliver on that promise I made and take you as mine. You'll show your friend here what it means to be a good omega. Yeah? You'll be good for me?"

Tully began to cry. "No! I don't want to!"

The guard shifted his weight back onto Tully's legs and slipped a finger inside his waistband. He tugged at the fabric and revealed the skin just below the young clone's tailbone. "Let me see that virgin cunt of yours."

"Please!" Tully sobbed. "Let me go!"

"Leave him alone!" Kix yelled, unable to watch any longer. "Use me instead." He blurted the words out so fast, they barely registered in his mind. It was dumb, probably the dumbest thing he could ever do, but he wasn't going to let the shiny under his care be taken like an omega whore in his cell on his watch. It would go against every one of his ethics.

The guard released the waistband and looked over at Kix. "And why should I?"

"He's young," Kix said, "and inexperienced. You want to have a good time? Use me. I'll be your good omega."

"An omega who's also a hero?" the guard said, seemingly intrigued by Kix's proposal. He got off Tully but kept the young clone pinned to the floor with a well-placed boot on his lower back. "That's cute."

Kix smirked; it worked. "You haven't seen my cute side."

The guard fully released Tully from his hold and stepped towards Kix. "Well, I'm gonna. Present yourself to me. Now."

Kix obeyed and got on his hands and knees, then wiggled his ass at the guard.

The guard looked amused. "Show it to me."

Kix did as he was told and pulled the bottom half of his blacks down and around his ankles to where the binders stopped them from coming off. Baring his backside for everyone to see wasn't as embarrassing as Kix thought it was going to be, since all clones have seen each other naked, but he never had sex in front of an audience before and that made him a bit self-conscious. Besides Tully, they were all marked omegas so sex wasn't something they were unfamiliar with, but most kept that part of their relationships private.

Kix made eye contact with Tully, who had scampered back to the other side of the cell and was now watching in horror. Kix winked at him in an attempt to calm him down, but the poor kid looked like he was five seconds away from having a panic attack. Kix reminded himself why he was doing this and why it was important for him to keep his composure. In the back of their minds, they all knew this was a possibility–even an inevitability–but now it was a harsh reality.

Kix's expression suddenly shifted when his ass cheek was hit with a hard, swift slap. The suddenness of the action made him gasp.

"Pay attention to me," the guard said, his voice stern. He admired Kix's ass for a minute, smoothing his hands over the taught swells, squeezing and kneading them, then spreading them to reveal a dark pink vulva protected by coarse curls. The guard leaned in and inhaled its scent deeply through his nose, then exhaled through his mouth, ghosting his hot breath across the wet opening which made Kix shiver. "What a pretty cunt."

"Thanks," Kix said. "My alpha thinks so too."

The guard shifted forward and laid his full weight on top of Kix's back, nearly buckling him to the floor. He wrapped his hand around the back of Kix's neck and smoothed his thumb over Jesse's bite mark. Kix flinched. "Mention your alpha one more time and I'll make sure you can never be marked again. I'll cut these mating glands right out of your neck."

Kix felt the threat in his bones. Even with his outward sarcastic and calm attitude, he was still terrified on the inside. He was an omega and he wanted his alpha. Jesse's bite mark was the only thing he could cling to in this situation. He wanted him so badly it hurt, but he couldn't let on that he was in desperate need of his mate. He had no choice but to keep up the facade he began and play his part to its completion, or it would be hell to pay for all of them.

The guard shifted his weight off of Kix's back and went back to admiring his genitals–touching, prodding, and licking. By all rights, it was pretty. At least that's what Jesse told him every time he had his face buried in it. Kix thought about the last time Jesse went down on him and he almost hummed when he remembered how good it felt, but he caught himself. There was no use in letting this alpha know he was somewhere else with someone else.

Kix gasped. His happy thoughts were rudely interrupted when he felt the guard's finger breach him. It didn't hurt, but the dryness was uncomfortable. At least Jesse licked his fingers, and even when he was acting like a ravenous alpha, it never took Kix long to get slick. But this alpha? Not a chance. His body would react, as all bodies would, but it wasn't the same thing as wanting it. He winced as another dry finger was inserted, and grunted at the uncomfortable stretch with the addition of a third.

"Not so talkative now, are you?" the guard mocked. He thrusted the three fingers up to his knuckles, hard and fast, not leaving any room for Kix to adjust. It was only a matter of seconds before the thrusts began to squelch as Kix's body released slick to aid in the process.

Kix groaned at the lewd sounds his body was making without his permission, but stayed strong. "Just bored."

The guard stopped and pulled his fingers out, a string of slick keeping them connected which snapped when the guard stood up and then dripped unceremoniously onto the back of Kix's thigh. He could sense the guard was mad, but he kept his composure. With Tully staring at him the way he was, he didn't have a choice.

Kix's ears twitched when he heard the guard unbuckling his belt. He knew what was coming next, and his only saving grace would be if the guard was smaller than Jesse–who was massive. Sometimes, Kix wondered how he even got it in there, let alone hit his G-spot with such precision to give him mind-blowing orgasms. There was no way this alpha would make him feel that good. He and Jesse had lots of practice, and practice made it perfect.

Kix twisted his lip when he felt the blunt head of the guard's cock press against his entrance, but luckily, it felt smaller than Jesse's and Kix sighed in relief when his cock sank in without much argument.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" the guard said. He groaned when he bottomed out. "A real alpha's cock."

"I thought it would be bigger," Kix said.

The guard clenched his jaw and began a brutal pace, slamming his hips into Kix as fast and as hard as he could. Kix's hands and knees bled as they scraped across the ground from the force of the thrusts. He grunted and winced in pain as his flesh was chewed up by the coarse cell floor beneath him. Truthfully, that hurt more than the sex. Jesse was much rougher, in his opinion, but usually, there was something soft underneath him so he didn't get hurt.

Tully looked frightened again, so Kix mustered a smile through the pain. "It's not that bad," Kix said. It was a half-truth. For Kix, it was less intense than what he was used to, but for Tully, who was a virgin, it would've been his worst nightmare.

"I like this cunt," the guard said as he continued to thrust into Kix. "Maybe I should keep you." He leaned forward over Kix's back and flicked his tongue across Jesse's bite mark, not losing his pace even a little. "Make you my omega."

Kix shuddered. That was too close for comfort. Anytime the guard came near Jesse's bite mark, he wanted to vomit. He turned his thoughts back to his mate to try and calm himself down. He thought about when Jesse came back from the battlefield high on adrenaline, stormed into whichever tent Kix was occupying, and took him on whatever object was closest. Kix loved it. He loved giving Jesse what he wanted and he loved being desired by Jesse.

"Wouldn't you like that?" the guard asked, interrupting Kix's thoughts again. He began to pant at the exertion. "To be my little slut? Take my knot whenever I want like a good little omega? Let me breed you 'till your belly swells with my babies?"

Now, Kix might vomit. It was one thing to be this alpha's cum dumpster to keep him away from his brothers, but it was another thing to be impregnated by him. That's where Kix drew the line. "Not a chance," Kix said, his breath also coming out as pants.

The guard clawed over Jesse's bite mark with calloused fingers. "You'll do as I tell you."

It was like nails on a chalkboard for Kix. Fear and anger boiled deep within him. If he touched Jesse's bite mark one more time, he might lose control and buck the guard off. Would he win in a fight against this alpha? Never. But he would try. He'd rather die in a bloody scrap against the guard than lose Jesse's bite mark. "Are you done, yet?" Kix asked.

"You're such a noisy omega," the guard said. He pulled out and a gush of slick followed the head of his cock. The sound of it splattering onto the floor was embarrassing, but Kix swallowed his pride and didn't let his discomfort show. The guard then grabbed Kix by the collar of his blacks and forced him up onto his knees. "But I know how to shut you up."

Kix took a moment to catch his breath then stared silently up at the guard as he walked around to his front side.

"Open your mouth," the guard said. He stepped on the chains that connected to Kix's binders which pulled him forward.

Kix regained his balance and continued to stare up at the guard.

"I said, open your mouth," the guard ordered with his alpha voice.

Kix glanced to the side and watched the other clones open their mouths in obedience, then looked back at the guard with a raised eyebrow. It didn't affect him.

The guard huffed. "You think you're so smart, don't ya? How smart would you feel if I stuffed my knot in your little friend's mouth and split his jaw open?" He pointed at Tully.

Another threat and the terrified look on Tully's face left Kix with no choice but to comply. The abuse to his insides he could deal with. That was easy, but the thought of sucking on this alpha's filthy cock and swallowing his disgusting cum made Kix's stomach churn. And yet, he reluctantly opened his mouth.

The guard smirked and cupped Kix's cheek, rubbing his thumb across his bottom lip. "Such a good bitch." Kix rolled his eyes at the insult, and the guard yanked on his lower jaw so their eyes met. "Bite me and I'll rape every omega in this room and make you watch."

Kix took a deep breath and closed his eyes as the guard slid his cock into his open and waiting mouth. The taste of himself as the shaft slid across his tongue wasn't unfamiliar with the number of times Jesse did the same thing, albeit he loved Jesse and wanted him to do it. Jesse.

That's all he had to think about. He imagined the foreign cock in his mouth belonged to his alpha–the one who would rescue him and kill the alpha that dared to touch his omega. He couldn't wait. The thought almost made it worth blowing this low-level alpha just to make Jesse angrier.

The guard moaned as Kix sucked him off with the same expertise and precision he always used on Jesse; it was all he knew. He let his tongue do most of the work since he didn't have his hands to help him. He swirled his tongue around the sides of the shaft when it slid forward and flicked it over the head and slit when it slid backward. He never could get the hang of deep-throating, so as long as the guard didn't try to choke him with it, he'd be fine. Jesse didn't mind, but that never stopped Kix from trying, and failing every time.

Kix let his mind drift away as he continued to lavish the cock in his mouth. He could hear Jesse praising him, telling him how good he was, how good his mouth felt, and how much he loved him. It almost made him smile, but he didn't want the guard to think he was enjoying his cock. No. He was enjoying Jesse's cock. He knew where every ridge and vein was, how long and thick it was, how coarse his hair was, and how much he could take before it tickled his nose, but it didn't matter. This alpha would never be Jesse.

Kix remained steady in his ministrations, only deviating to add a little flair to the monotony of it until he heard the guard's breath hitch and felt his cock twitch. The guard's thrusts became uneven and sloppy, and Kix knew he was going to come in a few more strokes. To keep from getting a mouthful of knot, he slid his tongue down the length of the shaft and kept his focus on the head. The change didn't seem to bother the guard as he only moaned louder at the extra stimulation.

Kix took a deep breath through his nose as he prepared himself for the deluge he knew was coming. He always swallowed for Jesse, because he was his good omega, and he replayed Jesse's voice in his head until he drank every last drop of the guard's hot, slimy cum.

The guard hummed as he pulled his spent cock from Kix's mouth and stared down at him through half-lidded, satisfied eyes. Kix stared back, still defiant as ever. The guard smirked and wiped a drop of cum that dribbled down Kix's lip. He pushed the finger into Kix's mouth and he licked it clean without breaking eye contact.

The guard smiled. "I'm keeping you." He brushed the back of his knuckles down Kix's cheek. "You have a wonderful mouth when it's full of my cock."

Kix rolled his eyes.

"There's only one problem," the guard said. He turned away from Kix, shoved his softening cock back into his pants, and buckled his belt.

Kix furrowed his brows. What problem could there possibly be? He just gave him two of his holes. What else did he want? His ass? He could have that, too. Maker Kix didn't care what this guy wanted as long as it meant he was satisfied and no one else got hurt.

"Tell me," the guard said with his back still turned to Kix. "What happens when an alpha wants an omega who's been bred by another alpha?"

Kix's eyes widened and his heart pounded. There was no way the guard could know that. Not a chance. He wasn't even that far along. He wasn't showing. The baby was barely the size of an apple and there was only one. It was a rarity for an omega to have only one baby, but still, no one was supposed to know he was pregnant except for Jesse. They decided to keep it to themselves until they could come up with a plan.

The pregnancy was an accident. The heat was an accident. Kix, like every other clone omega, took heat and pregnancy suppressants to ensure it wouldn't happen. It wasn't like the GAR offered maternity leave for clones. Alphas could rut whenever they wanted, it was 'part of their nature', but Maker-forbid an omega went into heat and needed a few days off or became pregnant. It was like the end of the world. And for Kix, when it did happen, it felt like the end of the world, but Jesse was there to help him through it.

Kix immediately thought the guard was bluffing, trying to get him to confess to it. So, he brushed it off. "How should I know?" Kix said. "I'm not pregnant."

The guard turned to face Kix and squatted in front of him. He pulled a knife from his boot and lightly dragged it down from Kix's cheek to just below his sternum. Kix tensed but controlled his breathing. The guard smirked, then turned the point of the blade against his belly and applied pressure. The metal tip poked through his blacks but wasn't pressed hard enough to puncture his belly. Regardless, Kix's instincts kicked in and he growled low in his chest.

"That's what I thought," the guard said. He sat back on his haunches and smirked. "You are pregnant."

Kix felt his blood run cold as loud gasps erupted from the clones in the other cells, which Kix had forgotten about until now.

"How did you–"

"I'm an alpha, sweetheart," the guard said. "I could smell it from your cunt."

Kix was dumbstruck. He knew alphas had the best sense of smell, even better than an omega's, but Jesse never told him they could smell that. There was no way he could deny his pregnancy now, and if he had known in the slightest that there was a possibility the guard could've found out, he never would've started this charade in the first place. In a split second, the game was over and Kix lost.

"I'll ask you again," the guard said. "What happens when an alpha wants an omega who's been bred by another alpha?"

Kix knew the answer. It was buried deep within his omega DNA, but he was too afraid to give it words. He couldn't even look at the guard now. All of his confidence deflated as the consequences of his actions sunk in. The only thing he could muster was a quiet, "Please, don't."

The guard smiled. "So, you do know. Glad we're on the same page then." The guard put his knife back into the sheath on his boot and stood up.

Kix couldn't breathe. He tried, but his lungs refused to expand, like someone was sitting on his chest or squeezing him too tightly. This wasn't supposed to happen. No one was supposed to know. The guard wasn't supposed to know. The more he thought about the situation, the more his body reacted, and a nervous sweat broke out at his apocrine glands, furthering the increase of his heart rate and reminding him he was in danger.

"I'll be back," the guard said. "Don't go anywhere."

He remained still as the guard left the holding room. His fight or flight response was in full swing and it kept him frozen where he was–too afraid to move. He never felt a fear like this before. An insatiable, petrifying fear that burned from the inside out. A tingling, fiery sensation that spread from the depths of his chest to the tips of his fingers and toes. An all-consuming fear that threatened to eat him alive. But it wasn't a fear for himself. It was a fear for his baby.

"Kix?" Tully asked, his voice was tentative but full of concern. He had moved closer after the guard left, but Kix didn't notice. "Are you okay?"

"He's going to kill my baby," Kix whispered to himself, somewhere between a statement and a question. Then he placed his hands on his belly and choked out a sob. "My ik'aad!" His baby was in there–growing inside of him, protected by his body, enveloped by its warmth–and it was going to die because of his stupidity.

Tully didn't respond, but he continued to stay where he was.

Kix shivered, his body reminding him that he was still exposed, and with trembling hands, he pulled his lower blacks up to cover himself. He noticed Tully but didn't see him. His eyes couldn't focus on anything, and he didn't know if it was because his body was shaking or the room was shaking. No matter how hard he tried, there was no mental hoop he could jump through to get past this one–no grand thought of Jesse that would protect him from this.

Jesse. He never needed Jesse more in his life than he did right then. He felt helpless, defenseless, and useless. He wasn't powerless as a clone, but his physical and mental nature as an omega put him at a severe disadvantage. There was no way he'd be able to fight what was going to happen next. He needed his alpha. He needed Jesse to come busting through the door and save him and his baby before it was too late. However, when the door did open, it wasn't Jesse, but the guard carrying a metal case.

Kix backed as far into the cell as his chains allowed him, but it wasn't much.

The guard entered the cell and stepped towards Kix. Each footstep was louder than the one before and it was the only sound Kix could hear besides the pounding of his heart in his ears. The guard crouched in front of Kix and placed the metal case down on the ground next to them. Kix wanted to run or shrink into the wall, but his chains kept him where he was. The inevitable was coming closer and the only thing he could do was cry.

"Shh," the guard said. He wiped one of the tears away, but Kix jerked his head away at the touch. "It'll all be over soon and then I'll fill you right back up again with my babies."

Kix sobbed and yanked on his binders, but it did nothing to help him. The rest of the clones clamored from their cells in protest–yelling and screaming. The guard annoyed by the noise, stood up, turned around, and shouted in his alpha voice, "Shut up!" They immediately quieted and the guard crouched back down in front of a terrified Kix. He thumbed open the two latches of the metal case with a soft click and revealed what was inside.

When Kix saw the glass vial of creamy, yellow liquid, he thrashed against his restraints. "No!" he yelled. Kix knew what was in that vial. He'd seen it before. He'd even administered it to a few omegas under extenuating circumstances. It was an abortion serum. "Please, don't do this!" he begged. "It did nothing wrong!"

"No, it didn't," the guard said. "But this is the natural order of things. Lucky for you we don't use barbaric methods anymore. Such a messy ordeal. With this little advancement in technology, you'll bounce back real quick and be breedable in no time."

Kix's stomach flipped into his throat. He knew all that information, but to hear it from someone else, to be on the receiving end of that drug, put it into a whole new perspective for him. For a second, Kix thought he should be grateful he wasn't going to be cut open, or watch his baby get ripped out of his body and murdered in front of his eyes–as alphas used to do–but at the same time, maybe he would've died along with his baby and been put out of his misery.

The guard grabbed a syringe from the case and punctured the top of the vial to draw the liquid out. He flicked the filled barrel with his finger and then smiled at Kix. "You'll just feel a small pinch."

Every part of Kix's brain screamed at him to escape, run, hide–anything more than stay put. He yanked at his binders, over and over, as hard as he could, the chains whipping wildly by his face. He wished he had the strength to break them, but they only dug deep into the skin of his wrists and ankles, threatening to rip the joints out of their sockets. He didn't feel it, though; his fear overrode the pain. He'd rather cut off his arms and legs than let this alpha kill his baby. 

Jesse would be–where was Jesse? Kix frantically looked around the room. Where was his alpha, his mate, the father of his baby? How could he let this happen? Why wasn't he here to protect them like he promised? The day they found out, Jesse promised to take care of them. He promised to protect them. He promised he wouldn't let anything happen to them. He swore on his life he would. He swore it.

The guard leaned his full weight against Kix's torso to settle him down and then grabbed one of his flailing arms. "Don't fight me. I can still hurt your little friend over there."

"Please," Kix pleaded. His voice cracked. "Please. Don't do this. Please. I'll do anything you want. Just don't kill my baby!"

The guard ignored Kix, pinched his bicep, and sunk the needle through his blacks and into the raised skin.

Kix yelped as he felt the needle pierce his skin. The thick liquid burned as it entered the muscle and invaded his bloodstream. There was no fighting it now. It was already too late. The drug was inside him and would reach his baby in a matter of minutes and kill it.

"There," the guard said as he pulled the needle out. He rubbed the injection site with his thumb, but the gesture was lost on Kix. "Give it an hour and it'll be completely out of your system."

The play on words was cruel. Kix knew how the drug worked. It stopped blood flow to the umbilical cord, causing the baby to suffocate without the oxygenated blood supply, then whatever was in there, at whatever stage, was ejected by the body, and the placenta would follow right after. In an hour, he would still birth his baby. Time for Kix stalled as the world around him blurred into nothingness. He was slipping away from reality.

The guard placed a chaste kiss on Kix's cheek, but he didn't feel it. "I'll be back to clean up the mess when you're done," he said. Then he packed up the metal case and left without another word.

Kix slumped down onto his side until he was lying on the cell floor. He wrapped his arms around his belly and drew his knees up to curl into a ball. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. Forgive me." He rubbed his belly and cried, wishing he could reach in and cradle his baby to comfort it before it passed. In a matter of minutes, its life would be gone without him ever getting the chance to meet it. He was devastated. "I love you. Jesse loves you, too. It'll be over soon. You won't even feel it. I promise."

The holding room was dead silent. There were no words of comfort in a situation like this, and Kix wouldn't accept any even if they were offered. The only person Kix wanted was Jesse, and the other clones must have known it because they left him alone.

After thirty minutes, the contractions started. Kix choked out a sob when it hit, not because of the pain, but because he knew his baby was dead. It wasn't going to come into the world kicking and screaming and crying like he imagined it would, it wasn't going to suckle at his breast like he thought it would, and it would never meet its father. Instead, it was going to be still birthed on a disgusting cell floor and then disposed of like everyday garbage.

The labor portion wasn't physically difficult, since it wasn't a full-term pregnancy, but Kix still cried out from the pain. He tried to keep the screaming to a minimum, though. It was humiliating enough to have cried and begged like a blubbering idiot in front of everyone, but to be laying on his back, knees up, with all different bodily fluids seeping out of him, was enough to make a man want to crawl into a hole and die.

He tried to think about Jesse, but that didn't help. All he saw in his mind was Jesse kissing and caressing his belly and all he heard was Jesse's whispers in his ear about how beautiful he looked carrying their baby, how he couldn't wait to see his belly grow and meet their child, and how much he loved them both. The memories only made Kix feel worse.

When the final contraction hit, Kix pushed as hard as he could, then gasped in relief when the baby came out. He was sweating, panting, and exhausted, but he forced himself to sit up on his elbows and look at the mess between his legs. When he saw his baby, fresh tears fell from his eyes and ran down the same paths that had already burned their way down his face and neck.

It was just a blob–a purple, fleshy blob of barely formed human body parts–but it was his blob. That was his baby. He gently picked it up off the floor, careful not to hit it with his chains, cradled its small, squishy form in the palms of his hands, and held it up against his heart. He wanted it to feel his heartbeat. Even if it was dead, it should still know its mother. It should know his love. And he continued to hold onto his baby even as the placenta passed through him.

Like clockwork, the guard returned to do as he promised, and he brought another guard into the holding room with him. The usual guard entered the cell, and Kix immediately backed as far away as possible, clutching his baby to his chest. It might be dead, but he was still going to protect it. It was his motherly instinct, and that was all Kix was running on–pure instinct. He needed to protect his baby. He needed to protect it and get back to Jesse. Those were his only two thoughts.

"Ah, omegas," the guard said and stepped closer. "So protective of their young."

Kix snarled and bared his fangs, but the guard didn't flinch. An alpha never flinched at an omega's threat.

"Nice try," the guard said, then stretched out his hand. "Now, give it to me."

Kix growled.

"The thing's dead," the guard said. "It's gonna rot."

Kix growled louder.

The guard shook his head and sighed. "Suit yourself."

With one swift kick to the stomach, the breath was knocked out of Kix and he collapsed onto his side. He was already in pain from the miscarriage, but now the pain had tripled. He faded in and out of consciousness and, during that time, the guard took his baby away from him.

Kix could only watch in horror as the guard dropped his baby into a garbage bag and tied it up, then motioned for the other guard to come into the cell. This one cleaned up the floor, and by the time he was done, the only evidence of Kix's baby was the residue left on his body.

"Toss this in the incinerator," the guard said as he handed the garbage bag to the guard who cleaned up the floor. "It reeks of another alpha."

Kix threw up. That was his baby. He wanted it back. He needed it back. It didn't belong in the trash bag and it didn't belong in the incinerator. It belonged in his arms. He wanted to say something, but the pain from the kick to his stomach continued to leave him breathless.

The other guard took the garbage bag and left the holding room to do as he was told.

Kix stretched out his arm and cried–my baby–but the gesture was futile. It was gone. "Ni.. kar'... tayli… gar… dara… suum," Kix wheezed.

The guard squatted down in front of him and smoothed his hand along Kix's side in a deceptively gentle manner. It would've been a soothing touch if it was anyone else. "Shh," the guard whispered. "It'll be okay. In a week you'll be in heat again and I'll breed you real good. I'll give you so many babies, you'll forget all about this one." The guard leaned down and kissed Kix on the lips, but he didn't have the strength to fight it. "I'll be back in the morning."

Kix sobbed. He didn't want to forget about his baby. He didn't want to go into heat and be bred and have another alpha's babies. He wanted his baby. He wanted to have Jesse's babies, and as long as he had Jesse's bite mark on his neck, he'd keep wanting Jesse's babies.

All he could do now was lay in his cell and weep for what he lost. He had his heart and soul ripped out of him, and for what purpose? The selfish desires of an alpha. He hated it. He hated being an omega, he hated being tossed around like a piece of meat, and he hated that alpha guard for using him like he owned him. Jesse never owned him. He was his mate, his partner, and his best friend. There was a mutual respect between them that transcended their alpha and omega dynamic, but the guard could never understand that.

Kix slept alone that night if he could even call it sleep. Leaving Tully to fend for himself was selfish and it made his stomach ache, but he wasn't in the mood to comfort anyone, especially when he couldn't even comfort himself. He wanted to wallow in his grief, let it swallow him whole until he didn't feel anything. So he lay awake in his cell and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time.

How many rotations had it been since was brought here? He had lost count. The mornings and the nights melded together into one long expanse of time, and each second that ticked by was another second he lost hope that Jesse would ever come for him. He wasn't even sure he wanted to see Jesse. Half of his thoughts revolved around everything being Jesse's fault for breaking his promise, and the other half revolved around it all being his fault for wiggling his ass at another alpha, but that could be Jesse's fault too if he wanted to get technical.

Kix flinched when he heard the door to the holding room open.

"Rise and shine sweetheart," the guard said as he leaned against the bars of the cell.

Kix hissed at him. It wasn't a powerful gesture, but just enough for the guard to know he was annoyed by his presence. He wasn't worried about upsetting him either, since there wasn't much else the guard could do to him, other than kill him, but honestly, death sounded nice right about then. He knew he wouldn't be that lucky.

"Aw, why such a bad mood?" the guard asked. "Still miss your baby? Or maybe your alpha?"

Kix didn't answer. The guard was right, though. He did miss his baby and his alpha, but he didn't need to know that.

"I can fix that," the guard said. He entered the cell and approached Kix, but Kix didn't have the willpower to move away. "Present yourself to me."

Kix groaned in protest and refused to move. Half because he didn't want to and half because his lower body ached. He just pushed out his dead baby. The least the guard could do was give him a few rotations to recover.

The guard raised an eyebrow. "You're gonna make me do all the work, aren't you?" He sighed. "Fine. Guess it's only fair."

Kix winced as the guard rolled him onto his stomach, the same stomach that he kicked and left an angry boot-sized bruise on. The chains twisted at the movement and pulled Kix's wrists into an awkward position, but it gave him something else to focus on other than the throbbing pain in his pelvis. The guard then hoisted Kix up on his hands and knees, but his arms and legs trembled as he tried to hold himself up.

The guard stood over Kix and folded his arms. He looked at him thoughtfully, then pushed Kix's shoulders down so that his face was against the floor and his ass was in the air. The guard seemed satisfied with that arrangement and then pulled out the knife from his boot. Kix panicked for a second, but the guard only used it to cut his blacks off–the top and the bottom. He was completely naked and presenting to the alpha. It was humiliating.

"Your cunt still looks pretty," the guard said. He slipped a finger between the inflamed labia and Kix winced because it was still sensitive. "Maybe a little puffy, but we'll manage, won't we?"

"Just get on with it," Kix said, some of his defiance returning as his pain and embarrassment increased.

The guard didn't use his fingers this time but impaled Kix with his cock without warning. Kix gasped and nearly collapsed to the ground, but the guard only moaned at the sensation. "Nice and tight, though."

Kix lay on the floor and took it because he had no fight left in him. Tully was staring at him again, but Kix didn't acknowledge him this time around. He just looked straight ahead at a crack in the floor, trying to dissociate–to ignore the alpha rutting into him. His spirit was broken. Was this his new life now? Was this what he had to look forward to every rotation? This was a fate worse than being a clone, worse than fighting in a war, and worse than death.

Kix's thoughts began to unravel and spiral out of control. He'd never see Jesse again. He'd never see any of his brothers from the battalion again. He'd be chained to this wall for the rest of his life, raped until he was pregnant, raped some more, give birth, and then start the cycle over again. This was his life now–a toy for an alpha's pleasure and a baby-making machine.

Kix grimaced as he felt the guard's knot begin to catch on his opening. He thought the guard would knot him eventually but not right after he gave birth. He was still sore and the stretch from the knot hurt.

The last time he took a knot was the night before he found out he was pregnant. Jesse wouldn't knot him after that because he was too afraid he'd hurt the baby. The worry made Kix feel special, even if it was misplaced. Jesse was such a good alpha–leagues better than the one rutting into him now–and Kix still held out some shred of hope that Jesse would find him and take him away from this place and away from this alpha, but it wasn't much.

Kix cried out when the guard's knot popped into place, tying them together, but then let out a broken moan when his hot cum gushed deep inside of him. As much as his physical body protested, knotting was an intimate act, and it felt good to his omega brain to be filled.

The guard's cock pulsed, releasing more cum, and Kix moaned in pleasure along with it. He didn't want to. Maker, he didn't want to moan, but there was something carnal and deeply satisfying about an alpha's knot that made his omega brain whimper for more. The knot pulsed again, and Kix's endorphins threatened to flood his brain and make him beg for it, so he moaned louder. He refused to beg for this alpha, even if his body betrayed him.

Kix was disgusted with himself. If Jesse saw him–heard him–like this, he'd be disgusted too. Maybe he didn't deserve to be rescued. He let himself get raped, let his baby get killed, and now he was moaning in pleasure because of another alpha's knot. He betrayed his mate, and he wouldn't blame Jesse if he didn't want him anymore.

The guard leaned over Kix's back and kissed the nape of his neck, causing the little hairs to stand on end. Kix hated that. It was too close to Jesse's bite mark and his heart rate increased when the guard's tongue licked over it. Since he was stuck on the guard's knot, he couldn't squirm away from the touch, but he figured it was just a tease. Then he felt the alpha's fangs drag across it and Kix panicked. He tried to pull away but the knot made it impossible and it hurt to tug on it.

"No!" Kix yelled. "Not my mark!"

"Sorry," the guard said, then kissed the offending mark. "But it's got to go."

"Jesse!" Kix called out, pleading for his mate to hear him and help him, but it was too late. The guard bit down hard over Jesse's bite mark and sunk his fangs deep into his mating gland. Kix could feel it instantly in his blood. Jesse was fading away and his new alpha was coming into view. Their bond was breaking and a new one was being formed.

When the bond was complete, the guard released Kix's neck and wiped his sleeve across the blood that pooled at the open puncture wound. He wrapped his arms around Kix's chest and hoisted him to sit in his lap while they were still connected by his knot, then grabbed Kix's chin and pulled it to the side so he could look his new omega in the eyes. "You're mine now."

Kix looked into the guard's dark eyes and couldn't deny it. It wasn't something he could say no to. It was a bond of nature. He belonged to this alpha now. He was his mate. And by no choice of his own, all of Kix's reservations about the guard began to fade along with his thoughts of Jesse. The will to fight was replaced with an urge to please and it made his stomach queasy.

The guard smiled as Kix's pupils dilated–one of the side effects of bonding. "Such a pretty thing."

Kix purred at the praise and wanted nothing more than to nuzzle into his mate's neck to receive more. A part of his brain tried to fight it, but his body automatically reacted without his consent.

"Much better," the guard said. "No more of that nasty attitude."

Kix began to cry.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" the guard asked. "You should be happy. I've got you."

"I'm tired," Kix sobbed. "It hurts." None of it was a lie. All Kix wanted to do was sleep. He was exhausted and in pain. He was still grieving over the loss of his baby, and now he had a new mate. It was too much for him to physically and emotionally handle. He was on the verge of a complete breakdown. "Please."

The guard took pity on his new mate and when he felt his knot shrink down, he popped Kix off of it and laid him on the ground. The sound of cum gushing out of Kix and onto the floor was obscene, but the release felt good and Kix was relieved to be free of it. The guard didn't bother to clean Kix up, only himself, but before he left, he leaned down and gave Kix a possessive kiss on the lips.

He wanted to pull away, but he didn't. His new alpha was giving him much-needed attention, especially after mating, and his omega brain wasn't about to ignore it, so he leaned into it, kissing him back with desperation. When their lips parted Kix felt disgusted with himself all over again. He couldn't believe he wanted to kiss the man that killed his baby. It was in moments like these when Kix hated his omega brain and its stupid instincts.

The guard caressed Kix's cheek with his thumb. "Sleep now. I'll come back later to check on you."

Kix didn't know how many hours of sleep he was going to get before his alpha would come back, and he didn't what he was going to do the next time he was there. Knot him again? He shivered at the thought, but he was glad he could get some rest in between.

When the guard was gone, Tully cautiously approached. "Kix?"

"Hmm?" Kix mumbled. He stayed still on the floor where his alpha left him.

"Kix, I'm–"

"Don't say it," Kix said. "It's not your fault."

"But your alpha…" Tully said, he too sounded defeated. "He'll still come, right?"

Kix chuckled. "He already did. I'm laying in it."

"No," Tully said with a shake of his head. "I mean Jesse. Your alpha."

Tears rolled down Kix's cheek from a broken place in his heart that he couldn't see anymore. "He's not… He's not my alpha."

"But–"

"He's not my alpha!" Kix yelled. It hurt him to say it, but it was the truth. There was no use in denying it. "Just leave me alone and go to sleep."

Tully backed away to his side of the cell and curled up into a ball. Kix regretted yelling at the young clone–he was just worried about him–but he didn't want to talk about any of this right now. He just wanted to sleep.

The longer he lay on the floor, the more cold from the ground seeped into Kix's naked body, and he grabbed the cut pieces of his blacks to try and warm himself. It didn't do much. His new alpha was nothing like Jesse. Jesse was kind and considerate towards him. Yeah, Jesse used to rut him into the ground until he couldn't move the next day, but his aftercare was second to none.

Jesse meticulously cleaned his body, gave him the softest pillows and blankets to lay on, along with lots of water and real food, and always let him curl up against him to sleep. And now, he had none of that. Instead, he had sticky cum to lay in on a cold, hard cell floor, nothing to cover his shivering body with, not a sip of water or even a ration bar, and he was all alone. There wasn't a worse trade in the galaxy than the one he was just saddled with.

Kix didn't know how much sleep he got before he heard the holding room door open, waking him from his dreams of a happier, near-distant past. Without opening his eyes, he could feel the presence of an alpha come into the holding room and he knew it was there for him. Kix didn't want to deal with his new mat yet, he just wanted to sleep. He thought if he kept his eyes shut, the guard would let him sleep longer, but he knew he wouldn't be that lucky. None of this was lucky.

When the door closed, he heard heavy footsteps getting closer, but they were different. Familiar, but different. As the alpha approached the cell door, Kix felt a looming presence that made him want to shrink into the floor. He wanted to run away from it. And yet, it still felt so familiar. Kix dared to open one eye, and he saw Tully, fully awake, and cowering against the wall. The terror on his face made Kix's heart race. What new level of hell did the guard bring him this time?

But before Kix could move his head to look at the cell door, he heard the alpha's voice.

"Kixie."

Tags: @nooneherebutusghosts @whiskygoldwings @ems-back-room @brokenphoenix99