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roslinadama-sinequanon · 6 years ago

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Christmas in Connecticut-Chapter 20 of 20

In this chapter Andy tries to keep his cool when Maura voices her skepticism of his relationship with Sharon. Peggy jumps to Sharon's defense.

Sharon spends some time with Sylvia who has a sentimental gift to give to her soon to be daughter in law.

This is the last chapter of this installment. Stay tuned as the story continues back in LA with "Saying Good-bye to Yesterday" which will focus on the annulments and some of what happened in Season Five. We will meet Winnie Davis and Sandra and there will be a few fireworks with Jack who is not going to be happy about his kids forcing him to sign the annulment papers. As with this story it will weave in and out of canon.

Story available here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12789981/20/Christmas-in-Connecticut

Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13293105/chapters/34782611

And here are a couple pics to go along with Andy remembering back to going to the Japanese embassy dinner with Sharon. Didn’t they look gorgeous that night.

You can also read the chapter here:

True to her word, as soon as Gina squeezed into her chair next to Sharon she set in to regale her with stories about Andy as a boy. The others were not content to let Gina steal the show and once she got started Maura, Peggy, Nell, and Sylvia were keen to join her, with Andy jumping in every so often to defend himself or offer explanations. The Flynn siblings were loud and boisterous; they competed with each other, interrupted each other and finished each other’s stories while Sharon was content with sitting back and taking it all in, the calm in the middle of their storm.

Most of the stories were amusing, though a few made Sharon catch her breath with the danger young Andy had put himself in and the risks he’d taken. He sure hadn’t changed much. Listening to what he had been like as a boy she found that the traits he had as an adult were simply modified versions of those he’d had as a child. The women in his life gave her a clear image of a young boy full of mischief, quick to laugh and just as quick to flare into a temper, a young boy caught between two worlds, defending the honor of both.

“Back then, there was still some rivalry going on and PC wasn‘t something any of us had even heard of,” Andy explained. “To the Italian kids, I was a mick. To the Irish, I was a dago. It felt like I was always fighting somebody.”

“And don’t forget Dennis,” Peggy waved a fork at him. “You were always protecting him.”

“My cousin.” He responded to Sharon’s questioning look.

“Oh. The one with Downs?” Her friend Summer’s daughter Rhiannon had Downs and when Andy met her Sharon had been surprised at the ease and rapport that he’d had with the young woman. She and Summer had been friends since their kids were in diapers and she‘d seen how often people were uncomfortable around Rhiannon, but not Andy. When she had commented on that, he’d told her about Dennis.

“Yes,” Peggy said. “You know how kids are. They can be brutal to anyone different. They were always picking on Dennis. But when Aunt Loretta moved into the building Andy started walking him to school and Dennis didn‘t have any more trouble. Joe couldn’t be bothered, but Andy took care of him, just like he took care of all of us. As much as I hate to admit it, outside of the house he was a pretty decent brother."

"Outside?" Sharon’s brow arched with interest.

"Mmm..." Peggy took a sip of her wine then settled back in her chair giving her brother a little smirk. "Inside the apartment, he could say whatever he wanted about us, complain about us, tease us, pull our pigtails, and let me tell you, he did all of that. A LOT. He could be a little pest. But let anyone outside the house dare say anything bad about any one of us and they’d have Andy in their face.”

It was amusing to see that Andy was actually blushing. That didn’t happen very often. There wasn‘t much in the world that could surprise or embarrass her fiancé but it all rang true. Andy still had a protective streak a mile wide and she had never doubted his loyalty to her or the team. He might grumble about the squad and he loved to jab at them, especially Provenza, but she knew with every ounce of her being that he would step in front of a bullet for any one of them, especially her.

Andy took another helping of mushroom risotto and grew thoughtful. “That all started with Dad. He used to tell me, they’re your sisters, Andy. In this family, we take care of our own.”

“He used to say the same thing to Joey.” Gina’s eyes rolled derisively. “But he was always too busy with his friends. He never took any responsibility for us.”

“It didn’t take many fights for kids to learn that you didn’t mess with Dennis or the Flynn girls,” Maura added. “Andy was a tough little shi---kid and he taught us how to fight too, said we needed to know how to defend ourselves when he wasn‘t around.”

Sharon bit back a smile. Andy was the only person she knew who could look both sheepish and proud at the same time. “He’s still tough,” she said. Sometimes too tough. Her sexy third in command Lieutenant was always the first one to kick in a door, and, along with Julio, to get in a perps face. He had zero tolerance for those who lied and those who hurt others…dirtbags. However, unlike Julio who still struggled with his temper, Andy had learned to keep his under control for the most part. When she’d first gotten involved auditing the Major Crimes division she had often been the one to set off that temper. Her position in FID, her insistence in following the rules, her ability to keep her composure, and the fact that for a time he thought she was out to get them, all seemed to set Andy off like a powder keg.

In an interesting case of reversal, once they had begun working together the opposite seemed to be the case. Somehow, and she wasn’t quite sure how it happened, she had become the one who could calm him down. When she saw his temper escalating all she had to do was give him a look, softly say his name, or rest a gentle hand on his arm and it was as if all the tension left his body.

“Well, girls shouldn’t be fighting,” Sylvia said firmly.

“Maaaa!” Her daughters were outraged.

“I disagree, Sylvia.” Sharon‘s protest was softer, but no less firm. “All girls and women should know how to protect themselves. I‘ve actually taught some basic women‘s self- defense classes at local high schools and at the battered women‘s shelter where I volunteer.”

“Kick em’ in the balls, takes em’ down every time.”

“Gina!” Sylvia sputtered. “Good Lord.”

“What? I’m just sayin'…”

“She’s not wrong, Ma.” Andy shifted in his seat, wincing at the thought. “A swift kick to the balls will bring any guy to his knees.”

“Andrew, my goodness, do you children not see that we have guests?”

“Oh, don’t mind us. We’ve heard worse, right?” Ricky looked down the table at his siblings and Nicole who all nodded in agreement. “Hazard of being a cop’s kid, you never know what your dinner conversation is going to be about.”

An impish smile curved on Sharon’s lips as she turned to the older woman. “Besides, that goes both ways, Sylvia. We’re not guests, we’re family, right?”

Sylvia sighed but acquiesced with a nod of agreement and Sharon turned back to Gina assuring her, “You were right. Groin attacks are definitely a big part of the course. It’s a very quick way to incapacitate a man.”

Eager to change the subject, Sylvia turned to her daughters. “Girls, would you get the pannacotta please.”

The Flynn girls might be feisty, but they listened to their Mama.

************************

“Groin attacks?” Maura sidled up to Peggy at the refrigerator and began pulling out the ramekins of chilled desserts. “Does she always sound so hoity -toity?”

“She’s a cop, I’m sure she can turn the air blue with the best of them, but she has class. You ought to take a lesson or two. And be quiet you don’t want her to hear you and you sure as hell don’t want Andy to hear you. That will really piss him off.”

“She’s definitely got him whipped.” Maura didn’t drop the subject but did speak more softly in an effort to placate her sister. “Did you see the way he looks at her with those puppy dog eyes? And, oh my God, seriously? She’s got him going to the opera and the symphony. Jesus, he’s got it bad.”

“He’s in love Maur.” Peggy began spooning the juicy combination of strawberries, blackberries, and raspberries over the desserts. “And if you were paying attention you’d see that she looks at him exactly the same way.”

“Hmph.”

“She does. And she’s gone riding on the back of his motorcycle on the Angeles Crest Highway and to a boxing match with him. Do those things sound like something she would have done before she met Andy? When you’re in a relationship sometimes you have to go out of your comfort zone. And it’s not as if they don’t have anything in common. They work together; they both love old movies and sports. I mean she loves the Dodgers, what more could Andy ask for?”

“I’ll give you that. I didn’t see the sports fanatic thing coming. Figure skating, sure, but football?” The very idea of the elegant Sharon Raydor wearing a big foam cheese on her head to root for the Packers was incongruous.

“See, you can’t just judge people by how they look or where they come from. Don’t let Ken’s shitty mid-life crisis make you bitter and hard. Andy’s had a tough go of it, admittedly through some of his own doing, but still. He’s fallen in love with a terrific woman, he’s getting married and he’s happier and more at peace than I’ve ever seen him. Let’s just be happy for him, okay.”

********

With lunch finished the LA contingent, including Emily, but not including Andy and Sharon, had to leave for the airport. After they left, Sharon rose to help clear the feast from the table but Andy handed her a cup of coffee and ushered her away to go relax with his mother. They weren’t leaving for LA until the following morning so they could spend a little more time with his family.

Sipping her coffee Sharon made her way back to the living room, pausing to pick up a framed black and white 8x10 photo. She settled into the couch with it, involuntarily shuddering at the crinkling noise the plastic covering made when she sat. The last time she had seen a plastic cover over a couch had been a few years back when a serial killer had lured Rusty to an empty condo in their building and had come very close to killing him. Were it not for Andy calling and tipping her off to where they might be, she never would have would have made it in time to bash the door in with a fire extinguisher and save him. Her heart began racing at the thought of how close she’d come to losing Rusty so she forced herself to leave the past and focus on the wedding picture in her hands.

The tiny dark- haired bride was wearing a ball gown style wedding dress circa 1950’s, tiny waist and full taffeta skirt, so she assumed it was Sylvia. A thrilled little jolt ran through her at the thought that she would soon be looking for a wedding gown of her own. Definitely not a ball gown style though, possibly an elegant A-line or a sexier fit and flare. Something romantic and stylish, both vintage and modern. Definitely some lace. She loved lace. When she got back to LA, she’d have to pick up a few bridal magazines and have a look at what was in style now. Gavin would be a big help there. His favorite television show was “Say Yes to the Dress.”

At the woman’s side was a tall, very handsome young man with a thick head of a hair and a smile she knew all too well. The same smile as the one on the face of the man who was helping his sisters clear the table. The resemblance was uncanny. Andy had a framed picture of his parents in their bedroom and she had seen family photos at his house, so it wasn’t the first time she’d seen his father but in this wedding shot Patrick Flynn was young and still had the cocky grin that in his son made her heart flutter.

“My Patrick was a handsome man, wasn’t he?” Sylvia sat down in a chair across from Sharon.

“Yes, he certainly was.”

“Well, of course, you’d think so, wouldn’t you? Joey, my older boy, he's Rossi through and through, shorter, darker, pure Sicilian. Actually, he looks a lot like my father and my grandfather. But Andy, all he got from me was the color of his eyes, skin that doesn’t easily burn and a temper that heats up as fast as it cools down. In everything else, he has the look of his father, his height, his build, everything, right down to the twinkle in his eyes and that mischievous little smile. Oh that smile,” her eyes turned wistful as they landed on a laughing Andy in the kitchen. “That smile got them both out of a lot of trouble. I don’t know what it was, or why I fell for it, but all they had to do was give me that grin and I would forget why I was angry with them. The girls told you about Andy fighting, but I‘ll tell you, that boy could tell a tale and charm his way out of detention with just a smile. Even the nuns fell for it and I don‘t think I need to tell you how tough they could be.”

“Mmm…“ Sharon took a sip of her coffee and nodded in agreement. “It is pretty irresistible. “She couldn’t count how many times she’d been irritated with Andy, all he had to do was flash her that boyish grin, and she couldn’t seem to help grinning back, her anger magically dissipating.

“I always had a thing for the Irish boys. Did Andy tell you how Patrick and I met? “

“He said it was at a church dance.”

“Just like the movie.” Sylvia clapped her hands with delight. “Only backward. I was the Italian one, Patrick the Irish. Did you see “Brooklyn”?”

“I did, yes. It was the first movie Andy and I went to together.” They had just finished a case and were talking about what they were going to do on their days off. Andy had expressed interest in seeing the movie because of its connection with his parents and when she said she’d wanted to see it as well, he had suggested that they should go together. It was funny how natural it had seemed, sitting in the darkened theater sharing a bucket of popcorn and a diet soda with love em‘and leave em‘Andy Flynn.

“Well, of course, neither of us was new to the country like the young girl in the movie. I was a third generation American, but Patrick was a fourth, his family came here during the potato famine. I had never even heard about this famine until I married him. Then I read all about it. My God, it’s hard to imagine such suffering.”

Sharon nodded, she‘d done her own research on her family‘s history. “That’s when my father’s family came. They settled in Boston, though.”

“One generation doesn’t seem like much of a difference but it was. My grandfather wasn’t born in this country, he spoke English with a very thick accent and it always seemed like he still had a foot in the Old World. It wasn’t like that with the Flynn’s. Patrick’s family seemed so much more American to me. They had a history here. His great-grandfather fought in the Civil War and helped build the Brooklyn Bridge, his grandfather fought in World War I and Patrick in World War II. We Rossi’s were still the new kids on the block.

“Did your families give you a hard time when you told them you wanted to get married?”

“No, not really. By the time Patrick and I got married in the 50s, things were changing. Before the war, everyone was divided even though we shared the same religion. There was an Irish church, an Italian church, a Polish church and you rarely socialized with anyone outside your parish and your ethnic background. After the war that began to change. The churches started to consolidate and we all started moving into the same neighborhoods instead of staying in our own little enclaves. There were a few snide remarks of course, you know, why wasn‘t an Italian boy good enough for me and things like that. But I think my parents were just happy that I was marrying another Catholic and not a dreaded Protestant.” Sylvia laughed, shaking her head at the way things used to be. Then she leaned forward and reached out as if to touch Sharon’s chest, only stopping herself at the last minute.

“That’s a very pretty necklace.”

Sharon’s fingers moved to her neck gently touching the delicate heart-shaped pendant, two hands cupped around a glittering emerald heart. “It’s a Claddagh. Andy gave it to me when we spent a weekend in Corona Del Mar.” Her eyes grew soft and she flushed slightly at the memory. Andy had bought her the necklace the night they had first made love. After dinner in Laguna Beach, they had been browsing through a Celtic store and had seen the necklace. While she had been purchasing some Innisfree perfume, he had surreptitiously bought the necklace and surprised her with it the following evening while they were gliding around the Newport Beach harbor in a romantic gondola.

“That look on your face tells me it must be pretty special.”

“Yes,” Sharon’s voice grew low, almost dreamy. “Very special.” When he’d put it around her neck he’d told her that when she wore it he wanted it to remind her of how much he loved her and how much the weekend had meant to him. Who knew that under his cynical, wisecracking exterior lay a romantic soul who shared her sense of occasion?

“Speaking of special, there’s something I’d like to share with you.” Sylvia rose and returned a few minutes later holding out a little velvet bag to Sharon. Sharon took the bag and when she opened it, she found a lovely rosary in mother of pearl, with a silver crucifix. “That rosary was brought over from Italy by my great-grandmother. She carried it at her wedding then it was passed down to my grandmother and my mother, to me, and then to each of my daughters. Andy said how important the church is to you and that you are hoping to have a nuptial mass, so I thought… Well, I thought maybe you would want to carry it with you on your wedding day. You’ll need a something borrowed.”

Sharon fingered the beads, her chest tightening with emotions and for a moment, she was unable to speak.

“Don’t worry,” Sylvia continued, mistaking her silence. “Sandra didn’t carry them. I offered but she wasn’t very interested in anything old fashioned like carrying a rosary on your wedding day.”

Sharon smiled at the woman who would soon be her mother in law, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Sylvia, I would be honored to carry this rosary with me on the day that I marry your son. Old fashioned is not a problem for me. Thank you.” She reached out to squeeze the older woman’s hand.

“No. Thank you. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen my boy so happy. That’s all you.”

****************************

“I still can’t believe you’re getting married.” Peggy handed Andy another stack of plates he promptly set into the soapy water in the sink. “After Sandra, I didn’t think you’d ever take the plunge again.”

“Me either.” Even though they both knew the marriage wasn’t working and he and Sandra had both agreed to the divorce, their split had been bitter and acrimonious with a lot of anger and hurled insults, especially when it came to custody issues. Then when Sandra had begun using Nicole as a weapon against him, it had left him soured on the very idea of marriage. In fact, until he had fallen in love with Sharon he would have told anyone who asked that he would rather be shot in the head than ever get hitched again. Dating and sex was one thing, but taking those vows was something else entirely. “Sharon changed all that.”

“Yeah, we can see that. But I could see something was happening between the two of you way back at Nicole’s wedding.”

“You think? I don’t know. That was the first time we had ever gone anywhere alone outside of work. It wasn’t a date, but…” He trailed off not sure how to explain it.

“But what?”

“But it started to feel like one. And after our first dance, I guess I started wishing it was one. That day did change things between us.” It was strange how it had all happened so organically. He’d always had an eye on Sharon, even when he couldn’t stand her. It was in his DNA. A pretty woman walked by and he had to look. And Sharon was a beauty. A cool, impenetrable, and totally untouchable beauty. It was frustrating. He wanted to despise her yet there was a strange attraction he felt in her presence and the first time he had felt the urge to act on that attraction was well before they were even friends. He was pissed, yelling at her, defending his honor as an officer of the law and she was standing there cool as a cucumber holding his fat employee file filled with exonerated complaints, not even flushing as one might when trying to control their temper. No, she was completely unaffected by his anger and he suddenly got the urge to grab her by the shoulders and kiss her senseless. Kiss her into a reaction. The overpowering pull of attraction and its accompanying surge of lust only served to make him angrier. How was he attracted to Sharon---stick up her ass--- Raydor?

He wasn’t sure when exactly he’d gone from irritation with her and her rules, to admiring her legs when she sat on the edge of a desk and her cleavage when she leaned over one, to really seeing her as a person. It was probably right around the time she’d started asking him for advice on addiction after she’d found Rusty’s drug addict mother and had then asked him to accompany Rusty to pick up that mother up at the bus station. The crushing disappointment when she hadn’t been on the bus had caused Rusty to run off—so quickly Andy hadn’t been able to find him. The kid had lived on the streets long enough to know how to disappear. Telling Sharon he had lost the boy had turned out to be even harder than he’d thought it would be. The fear shining in her eyes and the way she had tried to smile so bravely and assure him she knew it wasn’t his fault, even as the tears welled in her eyes, made him feel like such a heel. He’d hated disappointing her. Then, just when he thought he couldn’t feel any worse, despite how upset she was, she’d squared her shoulders and taken a moment to tell them all that they had done a great job. He‘d just stood there with his heart twisting painfully in his chest as her voice broke and she‘d rushed off before breaking down in front of them. God how he’d hated being responsible for making her cry. Sharon might have a tough shield she surrounded herself with, but inside she was a marshmallow when it came to those she loved. Seeing that vulnerability and how deeply she’d come to care about a boy she had only taken in a few weeks before had raised her much higher in his estimation. Before he knew what was happening he found himself looking forward to hearing her high heels clicking down the hall first thing in the morning and feeling a little stab of pleasure at her “Good morning Lieutenant” as she made her way to her office, coffee in hand.

After Nicole’s wedding when they had really gotten to know one another as people, not just co-workers, it had seemed natural to start hanging out together more outside of work. They would go out for coffee or dinner or to the movies. And when he‘d had Dodger tickets dropped in his lap, instead of inviting Provenza as he normally would have done, he‘d invited Sharon. Just another reason for Provenza to grumble over their burgeoning friendship. Not a month later Sharon had invited him to be her “plus one” to a black tie charity dinner at the Japanese embassy and that was when it had started to feel more like dating than a friendship to him--and that possibly Sharon was feeling the same. It was fun getting all dressed up in his tuxedo for her and she had looked stunning in an elegant floor-length Grecian style gown the color of orange poppies that seductively left one shoulder bare. He was falling for her, he’d felt it, and it worried him. He knew that a relationship with her was hopeless and did try to put some effort into protecting himself. He‘d tried to keep her from working her way into his heart, but every time he told himself they were just friends he would remember how damn good it had felt to hold her in his arms when they danced at the wedding and the comforting intimacy of their shared life stories when they went out for lunches and dinners. He would be reminded of the warmth that spread through him when she laughed or when she rested her hand on his arm while she spoke. She was smart, stunning, vulnerable, and way too classy for a guy like him, but he wanted her dammit. He wanted her so bad, he ached with it and instead of thinking about all the roadblocks to a relationship with her, not the least of which was the fact that she was still legally married, his heart instead beat with all the possibilities of a romance.

“Are you really sure she’s the one for you?” Maura had been listening to the conversation while she covered the leftovers. Her skeptical tone caused Andy to turn to her with a frown and his temper quickly flared.

“What do you mean by that?”

Maura held up a hand. “Don’t go getting all defensive. I just mean that, well, look at her. I’m not blind; I see why you’re attracted to her. She’s beautiful.” In that uppity sort of way, she was used to in her customers at Saks. “But she’s not the kind of beautiful you usually go for. “

“Thank God,” Peggy muttered under her breath.

“Greenwich, Connecticut? Come on. She obviously comes from money and you‘ve never been into high maintenance. Dating your swanky boss is one thing but…”

“Jesus Maura, get the chip off your shoulder,” Peggy interjected with a hard glare before Andy could explode. “Just because you have to deal with those rich bitches giving you a hard time at Saks, doesn’t mean every woman who has money is stuck up or high maintenance. I spent a lot of time with Sharon at Nicole’s wedding and she could not have been kinder and more gracious.

“Peggy’s right.” Andy tried to keep his cool, reminding himself that there was a time that he too had thought that Sharon, with her luxurious Brazilian blowout, Armani suits, and designer high heels was looking down her pretty nose at him. “Look Maur. You think I don’t know she’s out of my league? I do. But not because she comes from money and we don’t. Because she is amazing and she has a heart bigger than anyone I‘ve ever known. I don’t know why she loves me or why she agreed to marry me. I just thank God that she did. Give her a chance, get to know her. You might have more in common than you think.”

“Doubtful,” Maura scoffed.

Andy took a deep breath trying to remain patient; the last thing he wanted Sharon to witness was a knock down drag out Flynn family fight. “I’m serious. Her life hasn’t always been easy. She’s had to struggle just like all of us. And just like you, she had a louse of a husband who walked out on her and left her to raise her children alone, only she didn’t have any financial support from him.” He didn’t think it would be smart to add that unlike Maura, Sharon hadn’t allowed herself to wallow in bitterness and self-pity, because he knew a thing or two about bitterness and self-pity. Maura was more like him or the him that he used to be than he cared to admit.

Maura turned and tried to look at Sharon through new eyes. The younger woman was smiling and completely focused on whatever Sylvia was telling her. She didn’t usually change her opinions on people but maybe, just maybe her judgment of Sharon was clouded by her own unhappiness…and jealousy. Maybe Sharon’s quiet, soft-spoken manner just meant that she was a reserved person, not that she was a snob.

“You shouldn’t judge people so quickly,” Antonella admonished her.

Maura held her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I get it.“

“And you,” Antonella turned to her brother. “You should not be so hard on yourself. You are handsome and you can certainly be charming when you want to be. You are also kind and sweet--when you aren’t trying to be Mr. Tough guy, and you walk out your door every day and protect people. That is nothing if not admirable. Why shouldn’t Sharon fall in love with you? So you’ve made some mistakes, everyone does. It‘s how we rectify those mistakes that really matters and you seem to be doing a good job with that. I was so happy to see Nicole today. She’s turned into a lovely young woman. Peggy gave me the quick run down about you and Sharon, how you went from adversaries to, well, I guess where you are now. But I would like to hear it from you. Why do you love her? Why do you want to marry her?” It was telling to Nell that Andy didn‘t even have to pause to think about it.

“It’s true. I used to think Sharon was uptight, brusque, humorless, all business. But the first time I saw her smile, damn…It was like the sun filled the room. Then as I got to know her I could see that the way she distanced herself, the walls she put up, were all part of the job she had at the time. Now I’d say an easier question would be, what don’t I love about her? She’s courageous, strong, and confident. She really cares about the people who work for her and she has this, I don’t know how to explain it, this depth of love for her family that has just always reached out and grabbed me right in the heart. She’s a phenomenal mother and she has great kids. She’s also direct, doesn’t play games and she can give back as good as she gets; I find that all very sexy. And one of the things that I’ve come to admire most about Sharon is what used to drive me crazy about her, no matter what’s going on she’s always cool-headed and in control., always grace under fire.”

“Well, they do say opposites attract.” Gina’s grin belied her sarcasm.

“Let him finish,” Nell said.

Andy smiled at his eldest sister and continued. “I know people say this all the time but Sharon really is one of those people who is every inch as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She’s just a real doll. When she smiles at me I feel like I’m ten feet tall and when I’m with her she’s this kind of safe harbor where I can forget all the ugliness of the world of murderers, rapists, and pedophiles where I spend my days. I’ve never had anyone in my life that has been able to do that for me. Before Sharon, I felt so empty inside.” There was a slight emotional break in his voice and Nell reached out to take his hand, her eyes soft with sympathy. “ I tried to fill that emptiness with booze and when I had to give that up, my job, but nothing ever completely worked…until her. Sharon fills all that emptiness inside me and now I feel like I have a second chance at life.”

His sisters had gone silent and were staring at him with something akin to amazement.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re a freaking poet now?“

“Maura stop it.” Peggy swatted at her with a dishrag. “That was beautiful Andy.” Andy shrugged, slightly embarrassed by how sappy he‘d gotten.

Maura smiled and jabbed him with her elbow. “I’m just giving you crap. I can see why you love her now. It’s not just about how she looks.” When Andy shook his head and turned back to the sink Maura’s smile faded and she reached out to touch the scar on his neck. “Are you still having any issues with that clot and the pinched nerve?”

“A little. The clot is gone, but I’ll still be on blood thinners for a few more months and I still get some numbness in my hand from the nerve issue. Until that goes away, I’m going to be stuck on friggin’ desk duty. “

“Well, better that than the alternative,” Peggy eyeballed him. “It had to be terrifying to think you were having a heart attack.”

“It was. It sure as hell felt like one. The pain in my chest took my breath away and it went down my arm just like you hear about a heart attack. Then my arm went numb. I don’t remember much of what happened. But I do remember Sharon holding one of my hands for dear life.” While the other caressed his face soothingly. “All I could think about at that moment was that I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to leave her.” The memory of the love and terror shining in Sharon’s eyes was still so vivid, as was the feel of her tears dripping on his hand, the hand she continued to clutch in the ambulance while begging him not to leave her. He had so many regrets at that moment. He had waited far too long to ask her out on a real date. He had foolishly allowed his fears to keep him from telling her that he loved her as soon as he’d come to that realization. He was never going to see her roll her eyes at him again, or shake her head with long-suffering patience when he was being a pain in the ass or slap at his arm or chest when she was irritated with him or amused by him. He would never again hear that wonderful laugh or see her bright emerald eyes turn to soft jade when he made love to her. But his biggest regret was that he might never know what it would have been like to call her his wife.

“Aaaandy….”

The four siblings paused in their conversation and Andy turned and grinned widely at the familiar voice. “Hey, Dennis. Sharon, come meet Dennis.”

The man who met Andy in the living room for a hug was barely five feet tall, his hair salt and pepper, his eyeglasses coke bottle thick and he had the nasal tone of someone with Down syndrome. This was the man who was more brother than a cousin, the man whom Andy used to protect from the bullies.

“Is this your girlfriend, Andy?” He eyed Sharon up and down with a frankness that in other men would have earned him a Darth Raydor glare, but which was, she knew, just innocent curiosity.

“Yes, she is. This is Sharon. But she’s more than my girlfriend; Den. Sharon’s going to be my wife.”

“I like that, Andy. Hi Sharon. I’m Dennis.” He held out a hand as he had been taught.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Dennis.” Sharon’s smile was warm and genuine. “Andy’s told me so much about you and what great friends you were growing up.”

Dennis turned to Andy with a smile. “I like her Andy. She’s nice. And she’s really pretty too.”

“Yes, she is, isn‘t she.”

“Can I come to your wedding, Sharon?”

Sharon’s heart melted. “Of course you can. You’re family; we’ll be inviting the whole family. And I know how special you are to Andy.”

“Andy’s my friend.”

“You bet I am.” Andy fist bumped him. At that point, his Aunt Loretta came in followed by Peggy’s husband Luke who had been busy all day at the restaurant.

“I live in my own house now, Andy.”

“You do?” Andy raised a brow at his aunt.

“He does,” Loretta nodded. “It’s a duplex in Queens where he lives with others who have Down’s.”

“That’s great Den. Do you still work at Stop n’ Shop?”

“Yes. I get the carts and bag the groceries and sometimes they let me help put out the vegetables. Are you still a police officer?”

“You bet.”

“Andy’s a hero,” Dennis told Sharon. It touched Sharon deeply to see the affection and hero worship Dennis had for Andy, the man who had protected him throughout his childhood. She reached out and took Andy’s hand, pulling it into her lap.

“Yes, he is.”

“Where do you work, Sharon?”

“I work with Andy.”

“You’re a police officer too?”

“I am.”

“Then you’re a hero too.”

“Nice to know there are some people left in the world who still think so,” Andy muttered under his breath. Sharon gave him a little smirk but nodded in agreement.

“Here they are Sharon. I knew I could find them.” Sylvia entered the living room carrying several photo albums.

“Oh Ma, what are those,” Andy groaned.

Sharon grinned and grabbed one of the albums. “Payback is a you know what. I deserve a little retribution for you pilfering through my awkward stages. “

“Babe you didn’t have any awkward stages.”

Maura rolled her eyes and stuck a finger down her throat as if to make herself vomit. Andy glared at her but Sharon laughed.

“You were right Sylvia,” she said. “He does have the gift of blarney.”

“It’s not blarney,” he protested. “It's a fact. You were beautiful from the day you were born.”

“Well, I still say you’re a tad biased, but I love you for it.” She kissed the back of his hand and then dropped it to flip open to the first page of the album. “But not enough to miss out on finding a picture of Andy Flynn the altar boy that I was promised is one of these albums.”

“Oh God, if Provenza ever got hold of that…”

“Stay on my good side honey and all will be well.”

Sylvia grinned and nudged Andy. “She’s got a sneaky side. I like that.”

*************************

“I don’t think Maura liked me very much.” Sharon lay curled up to Andy’s side, her fingertips tracing imaginary patterns over his broad t-shirt covered chest. As soon as they got to their hotel at JFK airport, they had washed up, brushed their teeth and gone straight to bed. It had been a long day and they had to be up early in the morning.

“Maura doesn’t like anyone, babe.” Andy kissed the top of her head. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“I’m serious, Andy.”

“So am I. Look, right now Maura doesn’t like much of anything. I told you her first husband ditched her and left her to raise her two kids alone and now her second husband just left her for a younger woman. She had to sell her house and she hates her job. She’s angry at the world.”

“It’s hard to blame her for that. I wish there was something we could do to help her.”

“Yeah, me too. At least when I was that low I had a job that I loved. I don’t know how I would have gotten through everything if I’d lost my job.”

“Well, let’s be thankful you didn’t.” If he had lost his job during his drinking days, they never would have connected. “It’s too bad Joe’s living in Florida now, I would like to have met him. And I wish I’d gotten to spend more time with Nell. She’s worked in some fascinating places.”

Andy snorted derisively. “If you consider no electricity, no running water, and a hole in the ground for a bathroom as fascinating. I‘d call it hell.”

“Andy!” She gently swatted at his chest.

“What? It’s true.”

She reached into his t-shirt and pulled out the ring he always wore on a chain around his neck. She toyed with it for a few seconds before asking, “There’s more to this ring than just the fact that it was your father’s, isn’t there?”

“How…” He trailed off without finishing the question. Sharon was a detective; there must have been something she had seen when Antonella commented on it. “It is my father’s ring, but he didn’t give it to me, Antonella did. I was pretty messed up after my Dad died.” He trailed off as if unsure how to continue. Sharon hummed with understanding and nuzzled into his chest comfortingly. Losing his father at the young age of 14 to a brain aneurysm had been traumatizing. Andy didn’t talk about it often, but he had told her how it had led him to start following his older brother down a path that could have gotten him into serious trouble.

“My mother wasn’t really there for us. I know she was shocked and grieving and she had to support all of us but I didn’t see it that way then.” Fourteen was such an awkward age. He had tried so hard to be a man and keep his tears contained, but inside he was still a little boy who wanted to sob out his grief and who needed his mother to hold him and comfort him, and promise him that everything was going to be all right even though it felt like the end of the world. Instead, his mother had turned inward and he’d felt lost. Sylvia was not a bad mother, he always knew she loved him, but she was not a nurturer; she was more a pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with life kind of mother. A more sensitive person, a mother like Sharon, would have seen through his tough outer shell and helped him deal with his loss. A mother like Sharon would have told him it was okay to cry and comforted him through his sorrow. “If it wasn’t for Nell we probably all would have run wild. Then, not even a full year after my dad died, Nell decided to join the convent. I was really pissed about it--and I was a dick to her. I couldn’t believe she really wanted to be a nun. I accused her of wanting to get away from all of us so badly she was willing to throw her life away to do it.”

“I’m sure she knew you were just lashing out because you were hurt.”

“I don’t know.”

"It's really not surprising that you felt that way. First, your father dies, then your mother emotionally shuts down and then the one person who always gave you that unconditional nurturing love tells you she is leaving. It makes perfect sense that you'd feel lost and abandoned." Sharon's heart ached. Though it was impossible, she wished there was some way she could go back in time and take away the pain that he'd gone through as a boy.

"I told Nell I hated her. God, I wish I could take that back. It was the last thing I said before she left for the convent." He placed a hand over the one Sharon was rubbing over his chest, and then lifted it to touch his necklace. "After she left, when I got back to my bedroom there was an envelope on my pillow. When my father died, my mother gave us all something to remember him. As the oldest, Antonella got his wedding ring. Inside the envelope was his ring on a chain. There was a letter with it. She wrote that whenever I felt alone I should wear that ring around my neck and know that both her and my dad were with me."

Sharon sniffed and he glanced down to see tears swimming in her eyes.

"Hey, are you crying? Don't cry. Like I said before it was a long time ago."

"I can't help it. Sometimes you break my heart. "When she was in his arms like this it was hard to remember a time when he had thought she was cold and hard, because under that Darth Raydor glare there was no one softer or gentler than Sharon was.

"I don't mean to."

"Comes with the territory when you love someone. Have you been wearing it all this time?"

"No. I didn't put it on right away but I did hold onto to it. I kept it in my drawer and the day that I came home from my first AA meeting I put it on and I haven't taken it off since-though it has had a few new chains. I guess I figured I needed all the help that I could get.

"And has it helped?"

"I think it has, yeah. I don't really need it anymore, now that I have you. But, I kind of like having a part of my dad with me."

Sharon reached out to rub the ring between her fingers. "I wish I could have met him. He sounds like he was a good man. Your mother still wears her wedding ring and it's been what, 41 years since he died."

"Mmm...She was only 43 when it happened, he was only 50. A couple of my aunts tried to set her up on dates but she said that in her heart she was still married to my father and that's the way it would always be."

"That's both sad and romantic."

"She really believes that she's going to see him again when she dies and that's why she's not afraid of dying."

"Do you believe that?" Universal Salvation was one of the basic tenets of Christianity and sometimes she wasn't exactly sure where Andy stood in his relationship with God.

"I grew up in the church, you know that. You saw the altar boy pictures. I can't believe my mother gave you one."

Sharon giggled. "You were adorable."

He shrugged. "If you say so."

"I do." She rose on one elbow so she could see his face. "I also know you've had your issues with the church."

Andy grew silent, the conflict within him still there, though far less strong than it had been in the past. Sharon didn't prod or push, he loved that about her. She simply caressed her thumb over his cheek until he was ready to speak.

"After my father died, I was so angry with God for taking him. I just could'nt understand it. There were so many bad guys out there; my dad was a good guy, why did God have to take him? Why?" The pain was still there, even after all these years.

"I don't know. Sometimes we just can't understand why. That's what faith is, believing that there is a reason even if we don't yet understand what it is."

Andy sighed noncommittally. He wished he shared her unwavering faith. Those words were not just a platitude. She too had suffered loss at a young age when her brother died so she understood what he was feeling. "I hadn't even gotten a chance to get through that when Nell told us she was leaving us for God."

"Andy. Oh, honey, she wasn't leaving you for God."

"That's what it felt like. When I went off to college I walked away from all of it, God and the church."

"But you married Sandra in the church." It was the reason he was going to need an annulment too.

"I did. Sandra's family is Hispanic and Catholic so we married in the church but Sandra wasn't all that religious. Other than the big things like, baptisms, first communions, Christmas, Easter, we didn't go to church after we were married. Then I joined AA. Part of that is having a higher power."

"But it doesn't have to be God, right?" She knew a bit about AA from Jack's few short stints and a lot more from Andy.

"No, it doesn't. It can be anything. It's all about accepting that you can't conquer your addiction alone. But when I started thinking about a higher power, I kept coming back to what I knew. Once a Catholic always a Catholic, right? Then, it wasn't very long after that when the church scandal hit and I was so pissed I couldn't bring myself to go back to church."

Sharon nodded, pain tightening in her chest. She had experienced her own crisis of faith when the Catholic Church scandal exploded. It had been a very dark time for her and she'd only been able to navigate her way through it with the help of Father Stan who at that point had only been her priest for a few years. It had drawn them much closer and with his help, and a lot of soul-searching, she had chosen to remain a faithful Catholic, though she would never again be the innocent follower she had once been.

"I didn't really get back into going to church until I moved in with you. But I think that He and I have made peace now."

"How's that?"

"He's gotten me through some really rough times with my addiction and He gave you to me. Maybe even God needs to make amends."

Sharon gave a soft laugh and kissed his bicep. "An interesting theological concept. I'll let you take that up with Father Stan. But I am glad that you made your peace with God, with Antonella, and with Nicole."

"Me too. I like having a clean slate to start my life with you." Though he felt there might be one person left he had yet to make peace with. He had made his amends to Sandra but he wasn't sure they had ever really made peace.

"It's really going to happen for us, isn't it?"

"You bet it is, babe." He kissed the top of her head. "That is if you still want to marry me after hearing about what a troublemaker I was."

Her laughter was smothered into his shoulder. "Well, I've always known you were a troublemaker. I seem to remember our first fight was over your employee file."

"Second fight. The first one was over the evidence you removed from a murder scene we were investigating."

"Ah yes. You won that one. Pope made me return it all to you."

"Only because Brenda went to him to plead her case."

"Hmm…you're right." Brenda Leigh Johnson had gotten her job as deputy chief through a sexual relationship she'd had in the past with their chief of police. Because of that relationship, Brenda was usually able to get her way with him and Chief Pope let her get away with things he would never have accepted with any of his other officers.

"You know, a few years back there was a time we thought Brenda and Pope might have picked up where they had left off. I wanted to know if she was banging the boss and now here I am…"

"Andy Flynn, do NOT continue that statement."

"Uh, I wasn't. I mean, uh, I was just going to say, here I am marrying the boss."

Her eyes narrowed. Andy was a terrible liar. "Sure you were."

"I was. But to give you full disclosure, I like banging her too."

"Andy!" Her attempt at chastising him was ruined when she couldn't contain her giggle.

"What? It's true."

"You really are incorrigible."

"And that doesn't give you second thoughts?"

"Not at all." She watched him playing with the engagement ring on her finger. "It's actually kind of tantalizing. Who knew that underneath it all I actually have a thing for sexy bad boys?"

"Sexy, huh?"

She got back up on her elbow and cupped a hand over his cheek, her voice a throaty purr. "Very, VERY sexy."

The End…

Of this installment anyway. Stay tuned as the story continues back in LA with "Saying Good-bye to Yesterday" which will focus on the annulments and some of what happened in Season Five. We will meet Winnie Davis and Sandra and there will be a few fireworks with Jack who is not going to be happy about his kids forcing him to sign the annulment papers. As with this story it will weave in and out of canon.

#sharon raydor #andy flynn #shandy #Major Crimes #christmas in connecticut #shandy fanfic

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