#Jaheira's gonna have kittens :<< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[laurelindebear]

Ohhhhhh god, I've been playing BG3 largely asexually so far tbh - I could have had some romance scenes with...almost everyone at the tiefling party I think, depending what choices I took, but I went to bed by myself because I wasn't ready to pick. I've had a conversation option to ask Lae'zel 'Is it me or have you been looking at me differently' for awhile but I've just ignored it.

But today while going for a long rest before confronting the surgeon in the House of Healing (how creepy is that place btw, seriously??) I finally hit a romance proposition initiated by one of the companions and it's so awkward and I feel awful. I'm not totally against the idea - it's someone I've considered trying a romance with - but I just...don't know. I can't really decide on any of them and I'm not sure I want to. But now I have to lock myself in or out (or in, and then have to dump them later which won't be any better) and I don't really want to. They get so sad if I say 'nah'.

Honest to god I feel like my Tav would just say 'I'm sorry I have to go', pick up Scratch and flee into the woods, never to be seen again. I'm having vivid memories of running into the library to hide behind shelves after one of my classes at uni because I would often pass a guy on the way to my next class who was nice enough but I was afraid he was going to ask me out and I wasn't interested (in hindsight he almost certainly wasn't either but I was stupid and awkward and not used to being around boys/men so I was way out of my depth.)

Hate it hate it hate it. I'm gonna have to suck it up and make a decision if I want to finish, and to be clear I'm not saying this as a criticism of the game, it's just a 'me problem', but...well, it's a me problem.

[tacogoats]

more Dark Urge oc thoughts. I have two of them: Veren and Ilryn : )

Veren is very much the favourite child of the two because he's the 'redeemed' run (after FFXIV I need a good ending fix okay) whereas Ilryn is the 'I'm a special little Bhaal boy so I'm gonna deliver a dead world to dear old dad because I'm Soooo special teehee' run but

what they have in common is that they are viciously defensive of their loved ones - Veren adores the entire crew, and while his favourite is Astarion as his lover, Ilryn's favourite is Gale and basically only Gale.

Veren has the entire crew you can get ingame minus Minthara for 'good run' reasons, whereas Ilryn does not have Halsin, Jaheira and won't have Minsc either. He has Minthara, though.

Ilryn didn't side with the goblin camp - he in fact does not side with either party and simply leaves because his priority is himself (and later Gale). He is not being evil at this point, it's simply about survival and he doesn't care about a bunch of random Tieflings making it to Baldur's Gate. They probably won't get there anyway if several Mind Flayers are born nextdoor, too.

Veren on the other hand has a golden retriever personality sometimes and also figures that if his brain is hissing and spitting like a vicious baby kitten at the idea of Helping People then he is in fact doing a Good Thing and Should Do It (also if Astarion whines - he likes Astarion but he's an ass) so he stays to help to the best of his ability. Surely he should be helping because he's Strong and they aren't, right? That's what the Strong should do! (this also pisses Astarion off therefore it must be Correct)

Both of them also want what's best for their respective lovers, but Ilryn's idea of 'best' is making Gale into a God. In his mind, this is the only way he can keep Gale to himself without upsetting Bhaal. If Gale ascends to Godhood, Bhaal can't touch him, and he can deliver what was promised once. Gale is strong, smart, and he was once an Archmage and fellow Chosen - he's the *perfect* partner to Ilryn.

Obviously this is tricky so I have to iron out details but like Ilryn wants to be selfish for this one thing so badly just as Dark Urge was with Gortash in some ways; minus Ilryn actually giving a shit about Gortash. He actually was not romantically involved with the man at all but respected him to a degree - but was totally just playing along with the plan to use him.

Veren was totally head over heels for the guy and was Very Close to chucking it all away to protect Gortash but obviously it never happens because of Orin and the lobotomy.

Ilryn is very pro like, using people to further goals whereas Veren is apprehensive for the most part unless they Really Need To Die. Like he is in no way ever going to take pity on Some people and Will indulge his Urges from time to time - Ilryn however will almost always try to shove them down because he is killing for Himself and Himself only unless it furthers the plan for Bhaal.

Bhaal can wait for the glorious dead world; he'll deliver them all when it's time, and he wants and needs total control of himself for that to happen, it's too delicate a task. Veren cries when he kills Quill. :) (Fun fact I actually failed the rolls not to Urge Astarion my first run and let that play out and while I adore that stupid knife cat smile the fucker does after the camp wakes up, it wasn't planned for at all so I reloaded lmao.)

Veren also desperately longs for his old memories even though he knows it will disgust him, and has talked at length with Astarion that even though he rejects who he used to be, he still feels very empty knowing that there's a whole life locked away to him that he'll never be able to retrieve. For obvious reasons, Astarion can sympathize - and part of that sympathy extended to Veren befriending Gortash again. (Well, trying to. I am staring directly at Larian for spoiler related reasons that was COWARDLY!!!)

Ilryn completely rejects it because it's not relevant anymore. He has a problem ahead of him Now and that's more important, and so is Gale's problem. (Oh also he totally intends to let Astarion ascend even after learning the cost because SHRUGS, one more powerful ally for him! Neat.)

Basically what I'm getting at here is Ilryn is Bhaal's favourite but Veren is my favourite DAGNJKSGDF

I just am glad I made two of them because Ilryn was originally going to just be an evil run for Veren but he kind of evolved into his own shitty little character, oops.

More thoughts another day I need to write fic