#JUSTICE FOR RON WEASLEY LET VOLDEMORT SEDUCE HIM TOO IN VOLMIONE FIC

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Every Volmione story ever

Voldemort: In most cases we happen to be around the same age and I am always the sexy Voldemort. The human looking one. Not the Scaly Snake one which just shows the shallowness of people and their cowardice to write monsterfucker Hermione Granger.

Hermione: Definitely. Either I time travel back when you're a retail employee or a mini-established Dark Lord - like a shift manager at a McDonald's type level of established and then I try to take you down. But all it accomplishes is either me going Wicked Witch of the West and turning evil or rather as we like to say in the Dark Mage business: morally challenged

Voldemort: I won't change. You'll just make sure I don't become insane by making more horcruxes than I already have. Perhaps we'll have unbearably kinky sex.

Hermione: Most of the stuff will be things I'll show you because I'm such a forward thinker.

Voldemort: No, that's a lie. That's a niche market. You're most likely an inexperienced prude that I'll break down like the taming of the shrew. You'll worship me.

Hermione: The testosterone on you will absolutely be off the charts. You'll act more like a macho man than you ever would in any other iteration.

They begin dancing the tango. Voldemort spins Hermione, their mouths inches apart: And you'll love every moment of it. Because you know what else is a part of every Volmione story? Especially the ones where time-travel isn't used and I'm imprisoned in some shape or form?

Hermione, horny through the charts: How I learn what an orgasm is by having sex with you because my husband, Ron, can't make me cum?

Voldemort: Exactly. An absurd amount of Ron-bashing is imperative in order to make a proper volmione story. All of his character development will be buried underneath his new role as the oblivious, klutz cuck who wants to start a family with career woman Hermione Granger.

They continue dancing.

Hermione spins Voldemort, he takes insult to this because his masculinity is in question then and spins her, taking charge: You need to know your place. I'll manipulate you, I'll alienate and isolate you from all of your friends and family until you only have me. Until I am your entire world. And you'll think you have a fighting chance to survive me. You'll even think you have a chance at beating me at my own game. When in fact-

Hermione, breathless: You are always ten steps ahead of me. I am just a ditzy little girl who cannot hope to measure up to your brain power. I tremble at your prowess. You are better than me in every way, shape, or form and I can only accept my place or die trying.