#JF2 and the Kirsty Blackrock apocalypse have got me blorbo posting again and I am making it all of ya'll's problem

[planetaryaether]

Blackrock Characters as Mitski Songs

Rythian: Crack Baby

“Crack baby, you don't know what you want / But you know that you had it once / And you know that you want it back / … / But you know that you're needing it / And you know that you need it bad”

The song takes the form of an extended metaphor, and in this case instead of drugs, Rythian is born deeply wanting (but is denied by his circumstances) to love and be loved. Rythian’s main arc through the end of season 2 revolved around the idea that he was raised to want revenge/to respond to negative emotions with violence but at his core, Rythian cannot bring himself to harm those he cares about. It does not matter if their actions led to his death, Rythian will constantly delay rationalizing why he cannot enact violence upon them. There is this feeling deep within him that he does not understand but that controls his actions more than his conditioning in the End ever did. But regardless of how overwhelming that feeling is, that does not mean that (for a vast majority of the series if not the entire thing) he understands it. That contradiction between that feeling in his core and contemplating violence as a taught coping mechanism is the central conflict of his character.

Zoeya: The Only Heart Breaker

“If you would just make one mistake / What a relief that would be / But I think for as long as we're together / I'll be the only heartbreaker / … / You'll be by the window, only watchin'” 

Zoey is constantly intimidated by Rythian and how in control he seems to be to the point where she does not see a place for herself in his life. It is exactly her belief that she is not enough and that she needs to make up for it in increasingly different ways that leads her to science (the one thing that breaks his trust just by trying it). In doing so, she feels that a place for her is now not even possible and leaves, the very outcome that she was trying to prevent by seeking out science in the first place. Throughout this, to her, Rythian remains a static presence “only watching” as she does not fully understand the degree to which Rythian plays up his abilities/confidence to try and impress Zoey (again the very thing he does to get closer to her is the thing that pushes her away). This deeply held belief that she is broken/not worthy and that those around her are so much better/so much less broken is the core of her character.

Teep: Abbey

 “I am hungry / I have been hungry / I was born hungry / What do I need? / I am something / I have been something / I was born something / What could I be? / … / I am waiting / I have been waiting / I was born waiting / I was born waiting for that something / Just one something / I was born something / I was born” 

Teep deeply wants to be more than he is. Teep knows that he is more than an animal but does not know what that makes him and he wants to prove that he is worth having around, that he can prove his humanity, that he can love others and protect them, and he is somewhat trapped within these feelings, being openly hostile to Gilbert who he sees as a threat to his place in the group. Additionally, he didn;t receive much support after his creation so he has been alone on this journey, left confused by many questions left unanswered and unanswerable while he stays alone.

Lalna: Star

 "Remember when we met? / We acted like two fools / We were so glad / So glad to have found it" Lalna reminiscing about his time with Rythian in the old world. How they taught each other, sparred together, and laughed together. "That love is like a star / It's gone, we just see it shinin' / It's traveled very far, I'll / Keep a leftover light / Burnin' so you can keep lookin' up / Isn't that worth holdin' on?" After seeing Rythian in the new world, he knows their friendship will never be what it was again, but he still wants to leave the door open, not because he believes things will get better, but because he wants Rythian to be able to remember the good times like he can.

Ravs:  Bug Like an Angel

 “There's a bug like an angel stuck to the bottom / Of my glass, with a little bit left / As I got older, I learned I'm a drinker / Sometimes a drink feels like family / … / Did you go and make promises you can't keep? / Well, when ya break them, they break you right back”

Ravs seeks for community, purpose, and his sense of self in alcohol/bartending. Rythian broke his (somewhat unspoken) promise of coming back after the nuke and Ravs broke his promise of continuing the bar, following the gang to Sick Bay. Ravs as a character is bound by his relationships with the rest of the cast but his fears around lacking the same sort of power/control over his life that Rythian and Zoey seem to possess cause him to hurt those around him in seeking out something outside of himself to somehow make up for this, and in doing so he breaks the very bonds that he would have liked to preserve in the first place (even if he won’t admit it). 

Nilesy: My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars

“ My body's made of crushed little stars / And I'm not doing anything / I wanna see the whole world  / … / I better ace that interview / I should tell them that I'm not afraid to die”

Although he hides it behind a bubbly personality, like Zoey, Nilesy wants many things from his life but he is constantly surrounded by people who have more skills than him and since he is unable to either survive on his own or ask for the help he needs, he is trapped in this cycle of building pools/working to survive but at the same time wishing he could be more than he is. That he didn’t need to dedicate his life to doing things for other people and he could instead live his life just for himself.  

I have too many ideas (Re: an entire spreadsheet going song by sing in her discography and assigning them to/rating them for different characters) so more thoughts are under the cut

Characters by Season/Parts in their Arc:

Rythian

Prequel: Fireworks

“One morning this sadness will fossilize / and I will forget how to cry /… and when I find a knife sticking out of my side /  I’ll pull it out without questioning why/ … And then one warm summer/ night I'll hear fireworks outside/ and I'll listen to the memories as they cry”

He wants to get back to the peaceful life that he had in the old world but he doesn’t see that world as possible anymore, that he will always be betrayed somehow but that there is a future where he is happy in spite of that, a future where he can finally process all of the emotions he is denying himself.

S1: Dan the Dancer

“He liked her more than life itself / I'm sure / 'Cause Dan had never danced / Outside of his room /  When no one was home and he would start to hear the door / So when he moved with you / And felt his body let go / Of course you couldn't know / It was you and you alone / That he had shown his bedroom dancer to” 

Although Rythian loved Zoey throughout season 1 and he took major steps to show his affection, they were major steps for him. By the nature of Rythian fearing vulnerability, Zoey was kept in the dark about Rythian’s true feelings and in doing so his love for her was not only missed by Zoey, but in being missed led to her feeling isolated and furthered her self worth issues eventually leading to the creation of B.A.R.R.Y. 

S2: Nobody

"My God, I'm so lonely, so I open the window / To hear sounds of people, to hear sounds of people" Although in a remote setting, Season 2 Rythian begins caring for and talking to Gilbert, whose existance he says he doesn't care about, because he so deeply has the need for human connection. "Venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming / Did its people want too much too? Did its people want too much?" In the context of Blackrock, this line can both talk about the End and the Old World, both were thriving societies completely destroyed by the urge to want more, to go bigger, to win, to have it all. This is a question Rythian, himself, must face as those situations are the cause of his major traumas. "Guess I'm a coward, I just want to feel alright" Rythian being unable to express his true emotions to Zoey while she was still there as well as Rythian potentially seeing himself as a coward for continuously putting off his revenge, a revenge he is only doing to try and make himself feel okay, feel in control, feel safe after the destruction of the illusion of safety he had in the old world. Rythian, at his core, is someone who is all bark no bite but doesn't know what he is supposed to do if he accepts that he cannot bite. "Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody" Each nobody takes on a new meaning, like in the original. From talking about his loneliness, to that he cannot trust anyone, to that no one else seems to care about the end of the old world, to the fact that he has no ties to his past.

S3: Two Slow Dancers

 “It would be a hundred times easier / If we were young again / But as it is / And it is / … / To think that we could stay the same / But we're two slow dancers, last ones out”

Although far from perfect, S3 Rythian understands Zoey’s needs more than he ever has before, he understands that just because he has moved past the events of season 1, that doesn’t mean that Zoey has. He understands that their past complicates their relationship and he is happy for the little moments they get together, he is not seeking an idealized version of their relationship that was never possible because of the conflicts in their coping mechanisms from the destruction of the old world and the loss of Zoey’s memories. Although part of him mourns the life they could have had, he is most happy to have this moment right here with her. What tomorrow brings is unknown, but for now they are together and they are safe.

Post S3: Pink in the Night

 “I hear my heart breaking tonight / Do you hear it too? / It's like a summer shower / With every drop of rain singing / ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’ / … / I could stare at your back all day / And I know I've kissed you before, but / I didn't do it right / Can I try again, try again, try again”

Although there will always be a voice in the back of Rythian’s head saying that the happiness that he feels will not last, he loves Zoey and he knows that she loves him. All he wants is to just exist in her presence, to be with her and to bring her joy. He is willing to do anything for her and she knows that. There is security in that now. [last sentence]

Zoeya:

Pre s1: My Love is Mine all Mine

 “Moon, tell me if I could / Send up my heart to you? / So, when I die, which I must do / Could it shine down here with you? / 'Cause my love is mine, all mine / Nothing in the world belongs to me / But my love, mine, all mine”

Zoey has left behind a world of luxury and responsibility for a world where she gets to dictate her own fate. All that she has left is herself and where she gets to focus her energy/love. Less about a specific person, Zoey’s love for the world, her mushrooms, and her new life are what fuels her. [more]

S1: I Don’t Smoke

“If you need to be mean / be mean to me /  I can take it and put it inside of me /… Just don't leave me alone / Wondering where you are / I am stronger than you give me / Credit for”

S1 zoey has some really toxic ideas about her place in the world and only valuing herself as much as the use she perceives she has to others, specifically Rythian. Most clearly this is seen when she tries to convince Rythian not to be mad at her *because* her betrayal was useful. 

S2: Working for the Knife

 

Although Zoey got what she said she wanted and now is in a position where she is useful/valuable, that’s all she is now. Working for the rebels she is a brain to design and a pair of hands to build a supercomputer for them and she realizes that she hates working for the sake of working/being useful. That doing slow is slowly killing her drive for creativity and her spirit. 

S3: A Pearl

 

Although they still haven’t had a formal discussion about their feelings, Zoey knows how Rythian feels about her, but her lack of self worth has transformed her feelings of needing to be useful to gain love into needing to somehow earn or be worthy of the love and the sacrifice she has seen. How can someone love her when she doesn’t even know who she is? [more]

Post S3: When Memories Snow

 

Zoey has gotten her memories back and is now dealing with the enormity of the responsibilities that she ran away from so long ago. She now knows who she is (or at least who society tells her that she is) and for the first time since she left the Twilight realm, is struggling to deal with knowing too much, having too much power, being too much, and she doesn’t know if she can take it.

Lalna:

S2: Star

(same as above)

Post S3 (JF2): Blue Diner

 “You'll meet me at Blue Diner / I'll take coffee and talk about nothing… / Blue Diner, I'll take anything you want to give me”

Over analysis Time: Duncan being the one pushing to listen to the disc, who added the purple flags ‘for Rythian’, and who seemed most excited about the trip, has finally gotten to a point post flux-buddies where he would be able to repair his relationship with Rythian if he was ever given the chance. He could finally take accountability for his actions and let their friendship be whatever it will be. It will never be what it could have been, but he is content with just being in each other’s lives.

Honorable mentions:

Rythian:

I Bet on Losing Dogs

I Want You

Francis Forever

Zoeya:

First Love / Late Spring

Because Dreaming Costs Money, My Dear

Everyone

Washing Machine Heart

Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart

Why Didn’t You Stop Me

Gilbert: Last Words of a Shooting Star

I think this one is self explanatory and it is NOT the tone of the rest of the post so it goes here