#JENO IMAGINES

[suunani]

no lines left ( lee jeno )

jeno and you end up way more close than either of you ever planned.

❛ content 1.3k words, 18+, explicit sexual content, top! male reader, handjob (jeno receiving), jeno is a whining mess, gentle praise, both are down bad.

you lost count of how many times jeno had stayed over.

at this point, it wasn’t just a casual hangout — it was just your ritual. friday night. takeout. dumb youtube videos. maybe a rewatch of some movie you both knew by heart. jeno always took the left side of the bed. he always stole your hoodie. always pressed just a little too close when he didn’t have to.

but tonight just felt… different.

it wasn’t that the lights were dimmer, or that the rain tapping on the window made the world feel smaller — although it did. it wasn’t even the fact that jeno was wearing just a tank top and boxers, legs sprawled across your lap while the tv droned in the background.

it was the way he looked at you.

like he’d already decided something and was just waiting for you to catch up.

“you ever think,” jeno started, voice low, casual on the surface but too careful underneath. “that we’re… too close?”

you tilted your head, heart thudding just a little. “too close?”

“yeah,” his fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt. “like… we’re not dating, but it kinda feels like we are sometimes.”

you stared at him for a beat. his eyes were focused on his own hand — the way it bunched the fabric between your ribs — but you saw his throat bob as he swallowed.

“been thinking about it a lot?” you asked, voice soft.

jeno didn’t answer right away. he just leaned his head back against the wall, biting his bottom lip. then, without looking at you :

“yeah.”

the air shifted — warm and electric and charged. his body heat soaked into you, into your skin, into your brain. he smelled like clean soap and your laundry detergent, and something else distinctly him — earthy, masculine, something that had your mouth dry.

“you know i’d do anything for you, right?” you said quietly.

jeno looked over then, eyes wide and open, and fuck, he looked so pretty like that — all soft lips and flushed cheeks, skin lit golden by the bedside lamp.

“yeah,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “i know.”

your hand slid over his thigh, slow and steady. you felt the way his breath caught, how his body subtly leaned into your touch like he was already halfway gone.

“then let me do something for you now,” you murmured.

his lashes fluttered. “y/n…”

the sound of your name from his mouth — soft, aching — did something dangerous to you. your hand crept higher, fingers tracing the inside of his thigh, brushing the edge of his boxers. he spread his legs more willingly than you expected, muscles tense beneath your touch.

“you can stop me any time,” you offered, giving him an out he wouldn’t take.

“i don’t want to stop you,” jeno said, so fast it almost stumbled out. “fuck. i’ve wanted this— i’ve wanted you for so long.”

you swore your heart actually skipped.

he was panting already, chest rising and falling under the tank top that clung to him. his hands gripped the blanket underneath you both, knuckles pale, like he was already bracing himself.

you slid your hand under the waistband of his boxers.

the sound he made — something soft, broken, and so needy — punched straight through you.

“shit,” he whispered, head tipping back. “oh my god…”

he was already hard for you, twitching in your palm, skin hot to the touch. you stroked him slowly at first, just enough to make him gasp, your thumb brushing over the slit where he was already leaking.

“you’re so sensitive,” you breathed, fascinated. “you like being touched like this?”

“i—i love it,” jeno whined, and it was so much, the way he arched slightly off the bed, the way his legs spread wider like he wanted to give you more access. “fuck, your hand—feels so good.”

you tightened your grip just a little and picked up the pace, stroking him smooth and steady. the way his body responded — hips rolling up into your fist, lips parting, fingers twitching — had your own cock throbbing, though you didn’t even care about getting off right now.

you just wanted to watch him fall apart.

“please,” he gasped, eyes screwed shut. “don’t stop—please don’t stop.”

“i’m not going anywhere,” you murmured. “just relax, baby. let me take care of you.”

that did something to him. his whole body shivered at the nickname. one of his hands left the blanket, reaching blindly until it found your forearm, clutching it tight like he needed something to hold onto.

the room was thick with heat and breathing — his especially. short, desperate, like he couldn’t get enough air. his thighs were trembling under your hand. you leaned in close, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck, and he keened.

“y/n—fuck—i can’t—”

“you can,” you whispered against his skin. “i’ve got you.”

your hand worked faster now, your thumb teasing the sensitive head, your palm catching every slick sound as he leaked over your fingers. the way his cock jumped in your fist every time you whispered to him — or moaned quietly just to tease — made it clear how fucking desperate he really was.

“i—i think i’m gonna—fuck—” his voice cracked, body tensing hard under you.

you leaned in, gently kissed his jaw, stroked him hard through it.

“come for me, baby,” you said, voice dark, warm against his cheek. “let go.”

and he did.

he came with a sob, burying his face in your neck, his whole body jerking as thick ropes spilled hot over your hand. you didn’t stop until he was done shaking, done whimpering, hips twitching from oversensitivity as you slowed your strokes.

when you finally pulled your hand away, he slumped back against the pillows, dazed, eyes half-lidded and shining.

you reached for a tissue, cleaned him gently, quietly, and then tossed it aside before crawling up next to him again, pressing your body alongside his. his fingers immediately sought yours out.

there was no hesitation. he laced them.

he was still panting softly, hair messy, lips red. he looked ruined in the best way possible — and completely yours.

“so,” he said after a long moment, voice raspy and fucked-out. “does this mean you’ll finally stop pretending you don’t like me?”

you let out a soft laugh, thumb stroking across his knuckles.

“i was down bad the second you started stealing my hoodies,” you admitted. “you think i let just anyone wear my clothes?”

“thought you were just being a nice best friend,” he murmured, eyes soft.

you looked at him and felt something settle in your chest. something so real.

“nah,” you said. “i’ve been gone for you. and i think you knew it.”

he grinned sleepily and tugged you closer.

“i knew,” he whispered. “i was just waiting for you to catch up.”

you kissed him then — slow and deep — and this time, it wasn’t just need. it was everything else that had been sitting between you for years. all that non-said longing, all those looks that lasted a little too long. the brushes of skin that lingered. the shared beds.

the truth was, there’d never really been a line between the two of you.

and now, there was nothing left to cross.

[jikookncity]

BodyGuard!Jeno x Rich!Reader

WC: 4.8k, unprotected sex, oral sex, manhandling, dirty talk, degradation, bonus scene includes shower scene, spitting, aftercare

Jeno is an underground boxer turned luxury bodyguard, now protecting a rich spoiled brat, too bad that doesn't help the crazy steamy tension between them.

The mansion was too quiet—rich, sprawling, and full of silence that echoed off marble and chandeliers.

Y/N strutted into the foyer, heels sharp, attitude sharper. Her silk slip of a dress shimmered under the lights, clinging like it was painted on. Champagne-colored, backless, barely-there. The kind of thing designed to turn heads.

It did.

Jeno’s eyes dragged down her body like a slow flame.

“Jesus,” he muttered, not even bothering to pretend he wasn’t looking. “You really do want me fired.”

Y/N didn’t flinch. “You’re supposed to be a professional.”

Jeno cocked his head, arms folded over his solid chest as he leaned against the bannister. Black shirt tight over cut muscle, veins bold under tan skin. He looked like he’d been carved for war and accidentally dropped into luxury.

He smirked, eyes raking over her again—lower, slower this time. "That’s your definition of professional? No bra, no shame, and a skirt that’d get you banned from church?”

Heat bloomed under her cheeks—but not from embarrassment.

“Screw you,” she said, voice crisp, throat dry.

He chuckled darkly, pushing off the wall and stalking toward her, calm and cocky like he owned the place. Like he owned her.

“Trust me, princess,” he drawled, stopping just a foot away, “you couldn’t handle that.”

Her breath hitched—just for a second. His eyes were on her lips now. His gaze dipped lower. The bastard was enjoying this. She could feel it.

She turned to walk past him, head high. But Jeno stepped in close behind her, leaning down to speak low and hot against her ear.

“Keep walking away in that little dress,” he murmured, voice soaked in sin. “But don’t be surprised if I check to see what’s underneath.”

She froze.

“Try it,” she bit back. “See how fast I get you fired.”

“Mmm,” he hummed, amused, voice velvet and heat. “Maybe. Or maybe your daddy’ll wonder why his little girl keeps staring at her bodyguard’s abs like she’s two seconds from begging.”

She whipped around—too fast. They were chest to chest now. Or, more accurately, her heaving chest to his unmoving one.

“God, you’re so—” she snapped.

“Hot?” he offered, licking his bottom lip lazily. “Tempting? Or are you gonna lie and say you weren’t imagining me between your legs last night?”

Her thighs clenched. Bastard. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.

He leaned in again, voice husky.

“I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not watching.” His eyes burned into hers. “And sweetheart, I’m alwayswatching.”

Her breath stuttered.

“Keep your distance,” she whispered, faltering, desperate to hold her ground. “You’re nothing but hired help.”

Jeno laughed under his breath, stepping back without taking his eyes off her.

“Sure,” he said, voice dark with promise. “But don’t come crying to me when one of those soft-handed trust fund boys can’t fuck you like you need.”

She blinked, stunned. Furious. Flustered.

And she hated how wet she was.

The bastard winked as he turned and walked away.

“Sweet dreams, princess.”

--------------

The dining room was too ornate for the conversation happening within it. Crystal chandeliers sparkled above a table made for ten, though only four seats were filled: Y/N, her parents, and Jeno, who lounged comfortably at the far end, black dress shirt rolled at the sleeves, muscles casually flexed as he swirled water in his glass.

Her father smiled. “We’ve been talking, sweetheart.”

“That’s never a good sign,” Y/N muttered, glaring at her plate.

Her mother ignored her. “With the events and galas you’re constantly attending, we think it’s time you started learning a bit of self-defense. Just in case.”

Y/N raised a brow, confused. “What, like kickboxing?”

“Something practical,” her father cut in. “Close combat. Reaction time. Enough to protect yourself until backup arrives.”

Jeno sipped calmly from his glass, then set it down. “Smart call.”

Her mother beamed. “And since Jeno’s already with you full-time, it only makes sense he train you.”

Y/N blinked. “What?”

Her father looked pleased. “He’s a former underground boxer. We did our research—championship level, multiple wins, brutal form. He’s more than qualified.”

After the meeting, y/n's parents left the room to continue their workday.

Y/N turned her glare on Jeno. “You knew about this?”

Jeno leaned back in his chair, arms spread along the backrest, grin slow and filthy. “Got the call this morning. I accepted before you were even out of bed, princess.”

Her eye twitched. “You are not putting your hands on me.”

His smile widened. “Oh, baby, that’s literally the point.”

-------------------

She showed up in a sleek workout set—tight, black, revealing just enough to make Jeno’s mouth go dry. Hair up. Face set. Determined not to give him the satisfaction of rattling her.

Jeno was already waiting, shirtless, hands wrapped. His chest glistened lightly with sweat from warm-up drills, abs flexing as he adjusted the punching bag. He didn’t look at her at first. Just grinned when he felt her eyes on him.

“You’re late,” he said, low.

“It’s my house.”

He turned, finally, eyes dragging down her body like a stormcloud. “And I’m the one in charge right now. So get your ass over here.”

Y/N scoffed, marching up with her chin high. “This is ridiculous. Just teach me how to knee someone in the balls and let’s be done with it.”

Jeno stepped closer, towering over her. “See, that’s where we’re gonna have a problem. You don’t learn by watching. You learn by feeling.”

Before she could react, his hands gripped her waist and turned her around, pulling her back flush to his chest.

She gasped. “Hey—!”

“Lesson one,” he whispered at her ear. “If someone gets this close, you’ve already fucked up.”

Her breath caught.

His palm slid up her arm slowly, until he wrapped it around her wrist, dragging her hand behind her back. Not hard—but firm.

Her body arched instinctively.

Jeno chuckled.

“You always this tense when someone touches you?” he teased, voice low and rough. “Bet the last guy you let in your space didn’t know what to do with you.”

Y/N shoved her elbow back, aiming for his ribs. He caught it easily, twisting her into his front again.

“Good,” he said, eyes burning. “Use your body. But don’t be afraid to get a little dirty. Real fights don’t care if you’re cute.”

She snarled, frustrated and flushed. “Stop manhandling me.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” he leaned in, mouth a breath from her cheek, voice all molten heat. “You think this is rough?”

His grip tightened—just enough to make her shiver.

“I haven’t even started.”

Their faces were inches apart now. Her heart pounded. She hated how her body buzzed under his touch. How her core pulsed at the way his voice dropped when he got close. How he smelled like sweat and leather and heat and trouble.

“Careful, princess,” he murmured, nose nearly brushing hers. “Keep looking at me like that, and I’ll start thinking you want to be pinned.”

Her breath hitched. She looked away fast.

“Keep dreaming,” she muttered.

Jeno smirked and finally let her go.

“I do,” he said simply, voice thick with promise. “Every night.”

Y/N was already panting, strands of hair clinging to her flushed face as she circled him barefoot on the mat. Her sports bra stuck to her skin with sweat, and the way her chest rose and fell under it wasn’t lost on Jeno—his eyes dipped there every few seconds, and he didn’t even try to hide it.

“You’re staring again,” she snapped, biting back the way her thighs burned from the drills.

Jeno’s lips curved, slow and dangerous. “Hard not to. You’re the one bouncing all over the mat like that, sweetheart.”

Her stomach flipped.

“Maybe if you focused on my moves instead of my tits,” she muttered, “you’d see I’m getting better.”

Jeno chuckled low in his chest and suddenly lunged.

She yelped, stepping back, but it was too late. In seconds, he had her arm twisted gently behind her back again, his chest pressed to hers. His lips were right there, brushing the shell of her ear as he spoke.

“‘Better’ doesn’t cut it when someone’s trying to slam you into a wall.”

Her whole body locked tight. He was so close, heat rolling off his bare skin, the rough press of his abs against her lower stomach making it impossible to concentrate.

She twisted hard—he let her go, grinning.

“Try again,” he said, voice thick and amused.

Y/N squared her stance and lunged this time, reaching for his shoulder.

But he caught her wrist. Again.

She spun to fake him out, ducking low, but he moved faster—stronger—trapping her from behind, arms banded around her waist, her back against his chest.

The low groan that slipped from his throat was deliberate, cocky, filthy.

“Fuck,” he murmured, his lips brushing her hair. “You keep throwing yourself at me like this, I might start thinking you like it.”

“I hate you,” she hissed, squirming in his grip.

But her body betrayed her—soft, hot, molded to his.

“You sure?” he whispered. “You’re breathing like you want me to bend you over this mat.”

Her knees buckled a little.

He smirked against her cheek. “Poor little princess. You don’t even know what you’re asking for, do you?”

“Let me go,” she said, voice cracking.

Jeno didn’t move. His hands splayed over her stomach now, firm and possessive. His mouth ghosted the side of her neck, not quite touching, but just enough to make her tremble.

“I am letting you go,” he said, pulling back slowly—but not before his fingers skimmed her bare waist, just above her hips. “You just don’t know how to leave me alone.”

She spun to face him, cheeks blazing. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You showed up in that tight little outfit,” he said smoothly, tongue running over his bottom lip. “You let me toss you around. You gasped like that when I grabbed your thighs—don’t lie, princess. You’re soaking through that waistband right now, aren’t you?”

Her eyes flared wide. She stepped back instinctively—heart hammering, blood boiling.

“Lesson one’s over,” Jeno said, voice cool again as he stepped away. “We’ll pick up tomorrow. Unless you’re too sore.”

He smirked as he wiped sweat from his brow with a towel, slinging it around his neck, eyes trailing one last time down her heaving figure.

Then he walked out.

No kiss. No touch. Just heat.

And a girl left standing in the center of the mat, soaked in sweat, thighs pressed tight, and body aching for something she’d never admit out loud.

---------------

The sky outside was a deep navy, stars barely blinking behind thick clouds. The estate’s private pool glowed aqua under the lights, steam rising softly from the surface like a mirage.

Y/N slipped into the water with a hiss, muscles sighing in relief. Her tiny white bikini clung to every inch of her soaked skin, straps barely holding it all together. A thin gold waist chain gleamed around her hips, dipping perfectly into the water as she floated back, eyes closed, trying to cool off after that training session.

But of course… she wasn’t alone.

A dark figure leaned against the marble pillar just inside the glass doors, arms crossed, all in black. Watching. Waiting.

Jeno.

She groaned. “You do know we’re inside the house, right? The pool is literally in the sunroom.”

He didn’t move. “And?”

She swam lazily to the edge, arms folded on the pool deck. “You’re my bodyguard, not my shadow.”

Jeno finally stepped into view, low golden light catching on his sharp jaw, his tongue running slowly along the inside of his cheek.

“Semantics,” he shrugged, eyes dipping unapologetically to where the water lapped at her chest. “I just go where the threat is.”

Her laugh was sharp. “What threat? Chlorine poisoning?”

He smirked. “You never know.”

She rolled her eyes. “You're unbelievable.”

“Mm.” He stepped closer, crouching by the poolside now, eyes trailing slowly down her body—so slow it burned. “White bikini, tiny as hell. Gold chain. Dripping wet. You sure I’m the one who needs help?”

Her breath caught. She looked away, heat crawling up her neck. “You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re stunning,” he said easily, voice low and amused, “so we’re even.”

She pushed off the edge, starting to swim to the other side—but before she could reach it, Jeno was suddenly moving. With no warning, he knelt at the edge and caught her under the arms with shocking ease, lifting her effortlessly out of the water like she weighed nothing.

“Hey—!” she yelped, water streaming off her body, her soaked bikini clinging tighter than skin.

“Calm down,” he muttered, mouth twitching up as his eyes roamed—long legs, slick skin, the curve of her ass barely covered, the way her waist chain glinted against her hip bone.

He didn’t even try to hide it.

His voice dropped, rougher now.

“You’re gonna kill someone walking around like this.”

“Put me down,” she hissed, flushed and breathless.

He set her on the lounger, but not before grabbing a towel and draping it over her shoulders—his hands lingering at the tops of her arms.

His voice brushed against her temple like a warning.

“Go to bed, princess.”

She looked up at him, heart thudding.

But he wasn’t smiling now.

His eyes were dark, jaw tight, breathing shallow.

“Before I do something,” he said slowly, “I’ll seriously get fired for.”

And with that, he turned and walked off into the house—shoulders broad, towel still damp from her skin in his hand.

She sat frozen, chest rising and falling beneath the towel, every inch of her still soaking.

And not from the pool.

-------------

Y/N stepped silently into Jeno’s room, her bare feet brushing over the cool marble. It was darker than she expected—shades drawn, bed unmade, and the sharp scent of his cologne lingering in the air like heat on skin.

The sound of the shower running in the attached bathroom told her she had a few minutes.

She tiptoed in, her sleep shorts riding high on her thighs, her tight tank top barely skimming her waist. Innocent curiosity, she told herself. She wasn’t snooping. Just… exploring.

Her fingers trailed over his desk, past the folded gloves and a worn mouthguard case. A leather duffel sat open near the bed. Inside: extra shirts, a flask, hand wraps, a chain necklace she’d never seen him wear.

The door behind her creaked.

She froze.

Steam billowed out from the bathroom as Jeno stepped into the room—towel slung low around his hips, skin glistening. His hair was wet, dark strands dripping slowly over his forehead and down the ridges of his abs. The carved lines of his V cut below the towel made her mouth go dry.

Her fingers stilled above his things.

She didn’t turn.

“Looking for something?” he asked, voice low and amused.

Her breath caught as she slowly turned to face him. “No. Just… looking around.”

Jeno’s eyes dropped, lingering—long, hungry drag over her bare legs, tight shorts, the dip of her tank top neckline. His smirk grew wider as he stepped closer.

“You always ‘look around’ in shorts that barely cover your ass?” he murmured, closing the distance.

She stepped back instinctively—and hit the wall.

His hand came up, palm braced beside her head, boxing her in. His other hand held the edge of the towel at his hip, just barely.

“You’re in my room, half-dressed,” he said, tilting his head. “Touching my stuff.”

“I didn’t touch—”

“Liar.”

She flushed, gaze flicking away, only to fall right to the deep lines of his abs, water still trailing between the grooves. His scent wrapped around her—clean and hot and male. He smelled like the shower and sweat and whatever sin felt like.

“I should be mad,” Jeno muttered, leaning in, lips a breath from her ear. “But you can say sorry.”

She blinked. “...Sorry.”

His smile turned wicked. “With a kiss.”

Her head snapped up. “No way.”

“Just a little one,” he teased, voice like silk over gravel. “Right here.”

He tapped a finger against his lips, eyes glinting.

Y/N scoffed, arms crossed. “You’re insane.”

But he didn’t back down. Just kept looking at her like he knew she was already unraveling—knew she couldn’t stop thinking about how close he was, how much skin he was showing, how warm he felt even without touching.

“Fine,” she snapped, cheeks flaming. “Just a little one.”

Jeno raised a brow, surprised.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned in quick and pressed a kiss to his mouth—short, soft, barely a second.

But everything stopped.

Her eyes widened.

His stayed locked on hers, stunned.

She gasped, panic flaring hot in her chest. “Forget it—don’t make it a thing.”

And with that, she shoved at his chest—not that it moved him much—and rushed out of the room, heart racing, lips tingling.

Jeno stood there, towel still low, still damp, and now grinning.

“Oh, princess,” he muttered to the empty room. “You’re in so much trouble.”

-------------

The gym was quiet except for the echo of their movements and Y/N’s sharp voice cutting through the air.

“This is stupid,” she snapped, tugging off the gloves he handed her. “Why would I ever need to do that? That’s not even realistic.”

Jeno didn’t flinch. He just leaned against the mat wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching her unravel.

“You’re not listening.”

“I am listening, I just think—”

“No,” he interrupted, voice low. “You’re talking. Whining. Bratting out. Again.”

Y/N’s chest rose and fell, fury lighting up her eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry your princess doesn’t feel like getting tossed around by a smug asshole today.”

Jeno’s tongue swiped across his bottom lip. “You say that like you didn’t moan the last time I pinned you down.”

Her face burned. “Go to hell.”

But he didn’t budge. If anything, he looked even more amused, which only infuriated her further.

She turned, giving him her back deliberately.

“Lesson’s over. I’m not doing this today—”

Smack.

In one sudden, powerful move, Jeno slammed her into the wall—face-first, palms flat above her head. His body caged her in, solid muscle pressed to her back, heat radiating off him like fire. Her breath whooshed out in a gasp.

“What the hell—”

His mouth dropped to her ear, voice low, dangerous.

“When I tell you to do something,” he growled, “you better fucking listen.”

A shiver raced down her spine, knees going soft—but she fought it.

“Get off me.”

“No,” he said simply. “Not until you calm the fuck down.”

She squirmed, trying to twist away, but his grip was unrelenting—one strong hand keeping her in place by the waist. She hated the way her body reacted: heart hammering, thighs pressing together, skin burning where he touched her.

She tried to elbow him, but he just laughed.

“Still fighting?” he murmured, voice low and thick. “I haven’t even touched you properly yet.”

And then, without warning, he spun her around—her back hitting the wall again, this time facing him, his body towering over hers.

His arms bracketed her head, forearms pressing into the wall on either side.

His smile was wolfish.

“You keep testing me,” he said softly, eyes dark as sin, “and I will break you.”

She snapped—raising her hand to slap him across the face.

But he caught her wrist.

Effortless.

Slowly, deliberately, he pulled her forward by the arm and crashed his lips onto hers.

It was fire.

It was war.

Their mouths collided in a rough, frantic kiss—teeth clashing, lips parting with desperate moans. She whimpered against him, arms trapped between their bodies, his hand sliding into her hair, yanking her closer as his tongue slid against hers. It was hot, messy, all control and no patience.

Jeno groaned into her mouth, his body grinding slightly against hers, all muscle and dominance. “You’re mine,” he breathed, voice ragged.

Y/N moaned back, trying to speak—but it melted into another kiss, deeper this time, slower and filthier.

When he finally pulled away, both of them were panting, lips swollen, foreheads touching.

Neither of them said a word.

But they knew.

Nothing was the same now.

And neither of them wanted to stop.

--------------

Jeno didn’t waste time dragging her to his room.

The second the door clicked shut behind them, he had her pinned against the wall—her legs wrapped around his waist, her back pressed to the cool surface, his hands gripping her thighs like he owned her.

“Tell me,” he growled, breathing hot against her throat. “What were you thinking the last time you came in here? Huh, princess?”

Y/N’s nails dug into his shoulders, her chest heaving. “I—I was just curious—”

“No. No lies.” His mouth brushed her jaw. “You saw me. Wet. Half-naked. You stood there in those tiny shorts pretending not to stare.”

She flushed, but the words spilled out of her like lava.

“I wanted to taste you,” she whispered. “I wanted to suck you off… lick the water off your abs, drag my mouth down your body. I wanted to get on my knees and take all of you. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

Jeno groaned, grinding into her, his jaw tight with restraint. “Fuck.”

She went on, breathless and shameless. “I wanted to taste your mouth, bounce on you until I couldn’t walk. I thought about it every night after. I still do.”

Jeno pressed his forehead to hers, breathing hard. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

“Then tell me.”

His voice dropped to something feral.

“Every time you came to training in those tight leggings? That little sports bra?” His hands gripped her harder. “I wanted to bend you over the mat, rip them off, and fuck you until you forgot your own name.”

Y/N moaned, arching into him, lips parting under his.

“That white bikini?” he snarled. “I almost pulled you into the water and had you against the edge. Every time you act like a brat, I think about making you cry on my cock.”

Her lips crashed into his, messy and wet and needy. She moaned into his mouth, her fingers trailing lower, brushing against his waistband.

He growled again when she tugged at his shorts—but he didn’t stop her.

He let her slide down his body, breath catching as she kissed her way down his chest, down his stomach, right to the waistband. Her eyes met his—glinting with mischief and something filthier.

“Y/N—”

“Shh,” she said with a grin. “I’ve been dreaming about this.”

He leaned his head back with a groan, hand tangling in her hair.

“Make it worth the wait, princess.”

And she did.

Y/N's fingers curled into the waistband of Jeno’s shorts, slowly dragging them down over his hips. Her breath caught when he sprang free, thick and already hard, flushed at the tip.

Jeno hissed through his teeth, gripping the back of her head gently but firmly. “God, you’re really doing this.”

“I told you,” she whispered, voice wrecked with lust. “I’ve wanted to.”

She leaned in, her mouth hovering over him—close enough for him to feel her breath. Then, slowly, deliberately, she wrapped her lips around the tip, licking the bead of arousal there like it was honey.

Jeno swore under his breath, fingers tightening in her hair.

She moaned at the taste, sinking lower, eyes fluttering shut as she took more of him in, inch by inch. It wasn’t just eager—it was worshipful, sloppy and slow like she wanted to memorize every detail. Her tongue swirled around the base, dragging back up with a wet, filthy noise.

“Fuck, princess,” he growled. “You’ve been dreaming about this, huh? You like the taste of your bodyguard’s cock in your mouth?”

She whimpered in response, nodding slightly as she took him deeper, tears prickling the corners of her eyes from the stretch.

“Good girl,” he grunted. “Get it nice and messy. Just like that—yeah, just like that.”

His words spurred her on, and she hollowed her cheeks, hand wrapping around the base, twisting as she sucked him in again, louder this time, obscenely wet. His hips jerked forward instinctively, and she took it, moaning around him.

Jeno’s eyes fluttered closed for a second before snapping open again. “Shit—enough, come here.”

Before she could blink, he had her back on her feet, mouth crashing into hers, tasting himself on her tongue like it was the sweetest thing he’d ever known.

“You want more?” he breathed, lifting her up like she weighed nothing. “I’ll give you everything.”

She barely had time to nod before he tossed her onto the bed, climbing over her with a wild glint in his eye.

“You’re mine now, princess,” he growled, dragging her tank top up, mouth already trailing fire down her chest, fingers hooking into her shorts. “And I’m not stopping until you scream it.”

And this time—there was no more restraint.

Jeno’s mouth was on her the second her back hit the bed.

He yanked her tank top over her head, growling when he saw she hadn’t worn a bra. “Of course you didn’t,” he murmured, hands sliding up her sides to cup her breasts, thumbing over her nipples as he kissed his way down her chest. “You knew exactly what you were doing.”

“Maybe,” she whispered, voice ragged, just before he took her nipple into his mouth.

Her back arched off the bed with a moan, thighs already pressing together as his hands roamed lower, hooking into her shorts and yanking them down. He leaned back on his knees to take her in—spread out and flushed, eyes wide and dazed with lust.

“You’ve got five seconds to tell me you want this,” he said, voice low, dangerous. “Or I’m ruining you.”

Her lips parted, and she smiled.

“Do your worst.”

That was all he needed.

He grabbed her by the hips and flipped her onto her stomach, dragging her back against him as he leaned over her body. One hand braced her by the wrist, the other slid between her thighs.

She gasped.

“You’re dripping,” he growled into her neck, breath hot. “All that attitude earlier and now look at you—soaking for me.”

She tried to snap back, but it came out as a moan instead, especially when his fingers slid through her folds, slow and deliberate. “Jeno—”

“I haven’t even started yet.”

She turned her head, teeth dragging across his jaw as he teased her—then suddenly he had her on her back again, both wrists pinned above her, his abs brushing hers as he lined up, teasing her entrance with the tip of his cock.

“You gonna be good for me now, princess?” he murmured against her lips.

“I’ll try.”

“Liar.”

He thrust in hard, burying himself deep in one stroke.

Her scream was swallowed by his mouth as he kissed her—rough, filthy, breath-stealing. Her legs wrapped around his waist instantly, body arching into him as he set a brutal rhythm, hips slamming into hers with years of pent-up restraint snapping all at once.

She moaned into his mouth, biting his lip before trailing her tongue up his throat, tasting the sweat from his workout, biting his jaw just to feel him shudder.

Jeno groaned, barely holding himself together. “You’re insane.”

“You love it,” she gasped, dragging her nails down his back.

“I do,” he growled, catching her wrists again, pinning them above her head with one hand as the other slid between them. “But I warned you what would happen if you kept acting like a brat.”

Her response was a strangled whimper when his fingers rubbed tight circles over her clit, his hips never slowing. She writhed under him, biting into his bicep when it got too much—hard enough to leave a mark.

He grinned, sweat dripping from his temple, that same cocky, unstoppable smirk back on his face.

“You like that, huh? You like being pinned, used—wrecked by the guy you called an arrogant asshole?”

Her legs trembled around his hips, body tightening under his touch, every stroke dragging her closer.

“Say it,” he whispered against her mouth, biting her bottom lip. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” she gasped. “Jeno—fuck—I’m yours.”

And when she came, he swallowed every sound she made—mouth devouring hers like he’d been starving, never letting her breathe, never letting her forget who was inside her, holding her, claiming her.

He followed right after—deep, rough, buried inside her as he groaned her name against her neck, holding her like a man who had no plans of ever letting go.

And for a long moment, neither of them moved.

Just sweat, tangled limbs, and the soft press of lips against lips, over and over, until the fire eased into something quieter.

“I’m not done with you,” he whispered finally, voice still ragged.

“Good,” she said with a smirk, dragging her fingers down his spine. “Because I’m not letting you sleep tonight.”

-------

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[sungbites]

MISCONCEPTIONS ━ lee jeno

pairing : jeno x fem!reader genre : angst, fluff, est. relationship (sort of relationship), suggestive elements warnings : drinking/being drunk, profanity, inaccurate representation of art students, kissing, they're both toxic #sozz synopsis : your relationship with jeno was always complicated, never knowing where you stand with him. but what happens when things are left unsaid between the both of you and words are left to become mere misconceptions. wc : 10k a/n : god i've been working on this for over a month and finally its completed 🥹, i wanna thank @yutarot my beloved for helping me finish this and giving me the motivation, ily my nayu 🫶

Words were futile devices, there was no point in conveying them as you wanted because actions spoke louder. In words there were misconceptions tied in them, causing a whirlwind of miscommunication between two people. 

Lee Jeno did not pride himself on not knowing you, but rather the opposite. He hates himself for not knowing you enough. Past just every curve of your body and into every curve of your soul, when you pushed or pulled towards him, when you wanted him and when you didn’t. Like now. 

He was so jealous. He had been watching you, like a creep, all night. You knew, his friends knew, your friends knew, hell even the guy shamelessly flirting with you probably knew. It didn't matter because Jeno was annoyed, who did he think he was coming to his friends party and flirting with you. It was eating him alive, and you knew that as well. But you didn’t pay any mind to it because you knew at the end of the day he wasn’t gonna do anything, or was he?

You shifted your gaze back to the man who stood in front of you, Mark Lee was his name. From what he had blabbed to you within five minutes you knew that was from Canada, his best friend's name was Donghyuck, and he had a really cool sledding story. “So like I said he literally rammed into our sled!” Mark continued, animating the sled crash with his empty cup and hands. You gasped, trying to seem like you were paying attention the whole time. “Yeah so, we were like, what’s your deal man? But he told us he lost control of the sled so I guess it’s all chill” He finished, making you laugh softly. “I mean I’m glad! That sounds like a good time though.” you said, smiling up at him.

You knew he was just telling you stories about himself to keep talking to you, but you didn't mind at all. He was a cutie and besides you needed to distract yourself from Jeno who was all over you one second, and the next he couldn’t care less about you. You knew you deserved better and maybe that was Mark. Or maybe it wasn’t, sometimes you couldn’t tell what was good for you and what wasn’t, Jeno being a clear example. Mark smiled down at you, taking a sip of his drink, “You know, you could come with. We’re going next month” you smiled, raising your eyebrow slightly at his offer. 

“That’s a kind gesture but I don’t know how to sled” you said, taking a sip of your own drink but scrunching your nose as the taste. It was some sort of weird combination that Chenle made, always something with him. Mark nodded, thinking to himself for a couple seconds. “Doesn’t matter” He said, making you furrow your brows, “and why’s that Mark? Do tell” you replied, smiling softly as he smiled back at you. The vibe between you two was flirty, you knew he was flirting the second he approached you because in all honesty, he wasn’t very good at hiding it. “I can just teach you, babe,” he finally said, a smile on his face. Your cheeks flushed softly, feeling your smile grow, “You’re too kind Mark seriously you don’t need to” you finally said making Mark smile more. 

Just before he spoke, a voice spoke up from behind you. “No man, really you are” in an instant you knew the voice, and his tone, always so icy. Jeno didn’t often talk to people like that, he was pretty reserved, but when he was angry he got livid, which he was right now. You turned to see him, standing right next to you and across from Mark, smiling smugly at him. “You know thanks for keeping my girl company while I was getting us drinks, appreciate it.” He smiled at Mark a little bit too fakely, the whole interaction causing the boy across from you to stutter out apologies. “God sorry man- I uh- didn’t know she was your girlfriend.” He smiled awkwardly at Jeno then you, making you frown softly. He had no reason to apologize, Jeno only wanted to acknowledge you when it was convenient for him. “Sorry again, I’ll leave you two alone” He said rather quickly, stumbling on his words as he scurried off to his friends. 

“What the fuck Jeno?” You turned to him, now even more angry at him than you were before. Before this party, Jeno had told you to keep your distance, something about the fact his friends could never know what was going on between you two, like he was ashamed of you. The two of you have had this argument multiple times since starting your ‘arrangement’ Jeno claims it would be a big deal but you knew that it didn’t matter to any of his stupid friends. Yet despite all of the shit he gave you, here he was, acting like he was your boyfriend because he got a little bit insecure. “C’mon babe,” He said in the same tone Mark did, mocking him. “Don't cause a scene” He muttered, smiling down at you, making you roll your eyes in response. 

“Fuck off.” you mumbled, not sure if it was the alcohol speaking but nonetheless you grabbed the drink from his hand and walked past him, leading the way to the backyard where you could be alone and in peace. Jeno watched you leave then scoffed and shook his head, following you outside. “Yn! C’mon don’t be like this!” He yelled out as you walked further and further away from the house, and him. He followed you until you were at the back fence of the backyard and had no choice but to face him. You clenched your fists and turned around to face him.

As always, he had that puppy dog look on his face. The one where he seemed apologetic and that he loved you but you could see right through his facade. After all, the two of you had this fling going on for three months now, so you weren't going to fall for his manipulative tricks this time, “Why’d you do that Jeno” you knew the answer, you just wanted to hear him come up with a bullshit excuse, he was always good at that. 

He sighed out, running his hand through his hair, to anyone else it would look like you fucked up and he was just a bystander. “Just looking out for you baby, like I always do.” He smiled softly, walking closer to you to try and break the gap, instead you backed away. He noticed this and stopped, furrowing his brows, “Yn I care about you, don’t do that” he mumbled, his lips in a soft frown now. You looked in his eyes, trying to break through and see if he was lying or not but he had always shut himself out to you, always. 

You pressed your lips together in a thin line, then sighed, you could feel yourself giving into him. He always had a way of speaking to you, it was weird. He never said what he meant, especially with his feelings, and you could never tell how much of that was true. He lied to you, about how he felt, about missing ‘dates’, and everything in between. It was hard staying with Jeno because you knew it wasn't good for you, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to just leave. 

“Yeah I know, I just don't know, you have a weird way of showing it Jen” you breathed out, looking down at the grass, unable to hold eye contact with him. Jeno sighed softly and walked closer to you slowly, as if testing the waters. Once he noticed you weren’t backing away he walked close enough so you and him were just an arms length apart. He reached out, holding your chin softly, forcing you to look up at him. He locked eyes with you and only smiled softly. 

“I know baby, but it's always you for me.” His words made you smile, but they meant nothing. You knew that, so why did your heart skip a beat when he said that? Why did you suddenly feel a chance for hope, for you and Jeno? Jeno could read you like a book because he must've sensed that your mind was racing. He shook his head, “Quit doing that, drifting off in thought. Just focus on me” he said, halting your thoughts for just a moment. 

Now, he was close enough to where you could feel his cool breath against your nose, lips just centimeters apart. You could see him locking down at your lips and before he could lean in to kiss you, you put your hand on his chest. “What is it?” he said, this time sounding a bit more passive aggressive rather than the gentle tone he was using earlier. “You’re not my boyfriend Jen” you mumbled, making him look at your lips. “And you're not my girlfriend,” he said without missing a beat, “has that ever stopped us?” he looked into your eyes, eyebrow slightly raised. 

He was right, that didn't ever stop the both of you. Neither of you stopped to think about the fact that you weren't in a relationship. Maybe you even preferred it that way, you knew Jeno sure as hell did. He loved having you without all the unnecessary hassles that he would have to deal with because he was your boyfriend. 

You shook your head, making him smile softly. He leaned in again to kiss you, this time you let him. You let the familiar taste of his lips take over your own. It was intoxicating how much he drew you in, pulling you away from your own consciousness. He tilted his head slightly, kissing you at a different angle now. He pulled back, Jeno was always the first to pull back. 

He smiled down at you and backed away, “come over tonight?” He mumbled, you nodded in response. You felt him lean down to kiss your cheek before he headed back inside the house. You watched as he started talking to his friends like normal, not even caring that you were still outside, cold. Weirdly enough none of Jenos kisses made you feel warm, but maybe that’s just how things were meant to be. 

You sat on the couch, refreshing your text conversation with Jeno, your purse in your other hand. The two of you were supposed to go out tonight, as promised. You were stupid to believe Jenos empty promises after all this time. “Let me guess, he stood you up again?” Yerim said, shutting her bedroom door behind her. You looked to her and sighed, shutting your phone and putting it face down. 

You and Yerim had been roommates for around a year, the two of you started getting closer around the time you and Jeno started your ‘arrangement’ and since then you’ve confided in her since you can’t tell anyone else, sworn to secrecy thanks to Jeno. “I don’t even know why I believed him,” you watched as Yerim sat next to you on the couch, sinking into it. “You say this everytime,” she sighed.

She glanced at you, almost feeling sorry for you. Of course she felt sorry for you, it was hard being with someone who gave you everything yet nothing at the very same time. Yet she could never figure out what made you stay, was it the sex? Or was it the idea of someone loving you? Was it even love? You looked her way, already sensing what she was going to say. Instead of saying her thoughts, Yerim held your head and rested it on her shoulder, patting your head gently. Her hand pushed some of your hair out of your way, still patting you gently. The two of you sat like that for a good half hour before the two of you started getting up to go to your own respective rooms.

As you got up Yerim looked at you, “Yn?” she mumbled, making you turn around to face her. She hesitated before speaking, “you deserve better than that” Yerim said, smiling softly at you. You smiled back and nodded, letting her pat your shoulder as she departed to her room. You stood in the living room for a couple minutes, staring at the wall. 

You deserve way better.

But you weren’t going to let yourself have that. Why did you love Jeno so deeply and desperately when he couldn't care less? All you were to him was his toy to play with when he wanted and dispose of you when he was bored. Yet you always ran back, why? Was it his soft kisses? Or was it the way he held you in his arms? Maybe it was the way he looks at you when you’re both alone? Or is that just you looking at him? Has he ever spared you a glance? Will he ever spare you a glance? 

Your phone buzzed on the couch. You looked down, groaning as you realize you’re still wearing the same clothes you were supposed to go out in. You picked up your phone, seeing a text you had seen several times before. 

jen [11:57 p.m.] : outside your place babe :) 

The next thing you knew you were outside, walking with Jeno side by side in a park near your apartment. According to him, he was busy with something and as per usual you didn’t question it. Maybe you were scared that if you asked him too many questions he would leave you because you were too much work. Maybe he was just with you for the convenience of it all, intertwining friend groups, same school, not too far apart. 

Your hands were intertwined as you walked, Jeno broke the silence first. “Saw your sculpture in the workshop, it looks good,” he said, looking ahead at the path in front of you two. So that meant he was actually busy, you thought. “Thanks, I didn’t think you noticed,” you replied, looking down at the ground the two of you walked on together, your feet in perfect sync. Jeno shifted his gaze to look at you, smiling. “I notice everything,” making you look up at him, smiling as well. 

This was why things were so confusing. Jeno would act like he cared about you and cherished you but he never wanted to date you, and he certainly never did this infront of others. It seemed as though your relationship was covered in a fog of mystery even to you, ironic isn't it? Not even knowing what kind of relationship you were in. 

“It’s getting late Jen,” you finally said, making his smile raise a little. “We could head back to mine? Get some sleep?” He looked at you, still smiling. Of course, what else would you do other than agree? 

You stared at the sculpture sitting right in front of you, the look it was giving you seemed judgemental. As if it was judging you for being at the workshop at lunchtime while everyone else was taking their well deserved breaks. You sighed, carving away at the sculpture. You didn’t even know what you were trying to make but you knew you wanted it to be good for your final presentation.

It determined whether or not you can go to an art school and you weren’t going to let any distractions get in your way, not even Jeno. You didn’t believe in yourself though, in terms of the sculpture and the distractions.

You heard the door to the workshop open and close, soft footsteps grew closer to where you were sitting, then suddenly they stopped. This caused you to look up from your sculpture to see Mark, standing 6 feet away from you. “Oh I.. did you tell me you went here?” He stuttered, trying to get his words out. You smiled softly and nodded, making him frown softly. “Sorry, I got pretty wasted that night,” he said, walking over to sit on the table right in front of you. 

“It’s alright,” you replied, still smiling softly. Mark watched you as you went back to sculpting diligently, he smiled at you. “So does your boyfriend go here?” he broke the silence, not stuttering anymore. You looked at him and furrowed your brows, then it hit you. “Me and Jeno aren’t dating he just.. does that for some reason,” you shook your head slightly and now Mark's interest was piqued.

“So you’re single?” he asked once more, making you smile now. “Yes Mark, I am,” you said again, looking at him. He jumped off the table and leaned over your table. “So are you single enough to go for coffee? Maybe this weekend?” he seemed more confident than before, it was working because you were swayed to say yes. 

“I’ll get back to you on that,” you said, making him smile now. “How will you get back to me if you don’t have my number?” he pulled out his phone all too confidently and slid it your way. “You’re smooth you know that?” you said, picking it up and putting in your number, giving it back to him. 

He smiled down at his phone then looked at you. “We could get lunch now if you want,” just before you could respond, a bag was placed on the table catching both yours and Mark's attention. “Hi, am I interrupting something?” Jeno said, looking between you and Mark. Mark leaned back and looked at Jeno. “Nah, just dropped by to say hi to Yn,” he said, picking up his bag then looking at you. “I’ll text you?” making you nod, waving goodbye as he left. 

You saw Mark shut the door then looked to Jeno who sat down next to you at the table, silently opening the bag of food. “What are you doing here Jen,” you sighed, putting down the sculpting tool. “I think a question that’s more important is why are you skipping lunch,” he said, taking out a takeout box of food then placing it in front of you. You looked at the box then at him, he had already begun eating from his box of food. You sighed, reaching in the bag to grab utensils and began eating. The two of you ate in silence, just the sound of the wind blowing from outside could be heard. 

You weren’t sure why Jeno did things like this, acting sweet. It left the impression that he really did care for you and he wasn’t just lying, that made things so much more confusing than they already were. For some reason, even after seeing Jeno for so long, you couldn’t tell the difference between if he actually meant it or if he was just toying with you and as per usual, this time wasn't any different.

You put down your fork, pushing the food away slightly and going back to your carving, not sparing Jeno a glance. But that didn’t go unnoticed, Jeno set his fork down as well and looked at you with furrowed brows. “Just eat baby,” he said, still watching you. You wanted to roll your eyes but chose not to. “I can always eat when I get home, so if this is all you came to do then you can leave,” you replied, focusing on the shape you were making with the clay, but your focus was wavering. 

Jeno scoffed, clearly annoyed now. “Are you mad at me? What’d I even do,” you ignored him, continuing to mold the clay into the shape you wanted, which you weren’t even sure what you wanted. Jeno watched as you continued to sculpt, not saying anything to him. He nodded and sucked his teeth, continuing to eat his food. You glanced at him a couple times but he was too busy on his phone to even notice you looking his way. 

You weren’t even sure why you were upset. No you knew, you just didn’t want to acknowledge it. Jeno wasn’t normally a protective person but for some reason when it came to Mark he couldn’t help himself. Maybe he knew that Mark was a good guy, nothing like him. That Mark would treat you better than he ever could or maybe they’re just one in the same you’re doomed no matter what. 

“Can you pass me the tool to the right of you?” you said, breaking the silence. Jeno glanced at you and handed you the tool you wanted. “So now you're speaking to me?” he crossed his arms, looking at you fully. “Stop being like that Jen,” you muttered, trying to fix the lines with your thumb, smoothing out the base of the heart. “You’re the one who kept ignoring me,” he scoffed, watching as you carved away. He always liked you when you concentrated on something, told you you looked pretty.

He reached over, his hand pushing away some stray hairs from your face, hairs that were covering your eyesight. You looked at him and for some reason your heart softened, why’d it always do that with him. “I was just looking out for you pretty,” he said, still looking in your eyes, You nodded, sighing softly. “Yeah, I guess I’m just stressed,” you cleared your throat, looking back at the base of the heart. The idea you had wasn’t executing perfectly but that wasn’t why you were annoyed with Jeno. 

You were annoyed with the hold he had over you. That even if he acted sweet now and pushed you away later you would still run back to him like a lovesick puppy. Weirdly enough there wasn’t any love there and if there was you would never admit it for your own sake. 

“Tell me what you’re making,” Jeno looked at you, propping his head up with his hand that was on the table. “It’s supposed to be a heart, and I don’t know where to go from there,” you turned fully to him, sighing. He smiled softly, admiring you. “You’ll figure it out baby, everything you make is pretty,” he said, smiling as he spoke. 

You smiled softly and shook your head, turning your body back around to clean up your area. “Yeah okay,” you scoffed softly, putting away the tools and packaging the leftover clay. “It’s true,” Jeno furrowed his brows, helping you clean up by picking up your empty food containers and throwing them out. “Sweet talking me won’t do much Jen,” You laughed softly, walking over to the fridge to put the clay in. 

Jeno leaned against the table, watching as you walked back over to it. Just before you could walk past him, he held your wrist, pulling you into him. “Jeno c’mon,” you scoffed, trying to tug your wrist out of his hold but he only smiled. “Sweet talking won’t work so what if I kiss you, will you still be mad pretty?” he mumbled, pushing some stray hairs away. “No, I won’t,” you breathed out, making him smile again. 

He leaned in, kissing your lips ever so gently. His hand moved to your waist, holding you tight and close to him. This time, your kiss was soft and gentle, unlike your usual kisses which we almost rushed. You felt him smile against your lips, making you smile as well. You could feel why he was doing this, to keep you. You knew deep down the way his hands moved up and down your waist that he was almost holding you so close so he didn’t lose you, specifically to Mark. This made you feel validated in some weird way, that he could regret losing you. Maybe you’re more important to him than you thought. 

You pulled back, opening your eyes to see him smiling at you. “Still mad?” he muttered, you shaking your head and stepping back. His eyes followed your body as you went to grab your bag, walking back over to him to grab his hand. “So? What now?” you said, the two of you walking hand in hand out of the workshop. 

Jeno thought for a couple minutes, gripping your hand softly as you two walked out of the building. The sun was setting now which meant that the only people left on campus would be the ones who were in different buildings. Which was good for Jeno because you were away from anyone who could possibly know either of you. “We could grab dinner, haven’t been out with you in so long baby,” he looked at you and you raised your eyebrow. “Well whose fault is that?” you questioned, tilting your head, making him laugh and roll his eyes playfully. “Lead the way,” you said, making him smile and grip your hand tighter as you two made your way to his car. 

There was a side to Jeno not many people knew, this was one of them. The soft light from his bedside lamp lit up the room with a soft yellow glow. You laid in his bed, in his shirt, watching him as he sat on the floor, cutting glass. From what he had told you, which as per usual was very little, he was making a glass stained piece for a project and right now he had to cut the glass into the shapes he wanted so he could weld them later.

This side of Jeno was soft and domestic, but this side never left the very four walls of his apartment. It almost felt as if it was reserved only to you, that made you feel good. Good that something about him was a secret only for you to know, that only you got the privilege to see him like this. You moved over to where he was leaning against the bed and began playing with his hair, scratching his scalp softly with his nails. 

“What are you doing pretty? Told you not to get out of bed in case there’s shards,” he mumbled, a soft smile could be heard in his voice. “Not going anywhere, just wanted to check on you,” you said, playing with his hair. He smiled, looking up at you. “Getting bored?” he said, looking in your eyes and you shook your head, Jeno set down the glass and turned around so he could face you properly. 

He looked in your eyes, taking in your facial features. For some reason it felt like he was seeing you for the first time, you smiled softly under his gaze. “Why are you looking at me like that,” you mumbled, making Jeno smile some more. “Just admiring my pretty baby,” he muttered, making you smile softly. You brushed some strays out of his way and kissed his cheek, then leaned back to lay in bed. He gave you one last look before turning around and going back to cutting the glass, you turned over in his bed. There’s this saying, that once you’re in someone's bedroom there's a chance you can take a glance in their mind. For some reason that wasn’t the case with Jeno’s room.

You had been here a million times but yet you were as close to him as you would be to an acquaintance. The two of you knew each other but sometimes it felt like you were just two distant strangers. Maybe that was why you felt so okay to let him in in some way, he didn’t know you. All you knew about each other at first was the two of you didn’t need something committed and that was it. 

At first your relationship was just sex, the two of you just wanted a casual hookup. But within the past month it’s turned into something more, maybe that was what you just made up yourself to think. Instead of Jeno calling you up for a quick fuck, the two of you would sit in his apartment with takeout watching some movie, or just spent your weekends with one another. Maybe the reason why you had grown so comfortable with Jeno is because he in fact didn’t know you, that is until you let him in. 

You break out of your thoughts and focus again on Jenos room, a place you had seen countless times. Everything in his room was mostly dull, the color scheme of it all. It looks like a normal guys room but at the same time it doesn't. Your eyes fall on his desk, where his monitor is set up as well as a small section of polaroids. They were of him and his friends, Jaemin and Renjun.

You had met Jaemin and Renjun on separate occasions, not attached with Jeno. Jaemin was this guy that your friend, Chenle, knew and Renjun worked at the school's information desk with Yerim. They were both sweet and reserved, their personalities aligning with Jenos. Jeno had met some of your friends as well, of course not attached to you. Even if your and Jenos relationship had changed, one thing remained clear. No one knew about the two of you. 

It was something Jeno established the first night, it bothered you. Even when you weren’t close with him, something about it rubbed you the wrong way. What was so wrong with his friends knowing he was with you? Was he ashamed of you? Were you too embarrassing to even be seen with him? DId he not value you?  

“What’s going on in your head baby?” you jumped, feeling Jenos arm snake around your waist. You turned to face him, not even realizing the whole time you were thinking he had already cleaned up. “Nothing,” you mumbled, making him smile. “Liar.” He breathed out, still smiling. 

He leaned in to pepper soft kisses on your collarbone, you giggled softly, pushing him away by putting your hand on his chest. “Oh?” he teased, looking at you. “You wanna push me away hm?” he smiled, hands reaching up your waist. “C’mon Jen don’t- stop!” you burst out in giggles as he started tickling you. 

After being with you for so long, Jeno began to uncover parts of you he wouldn’t have before. Like the spots where you were the most ticklish. You started laughing louder, tears welling in your eyes. Jeno began to giggle with you, your leg was over his hip so you did the most rational thing and grabbed his wrists, flipping the two of you over so you were straddling him now. 

Your faces were flushed and the two of you were out of breath. Jeno smiled up at you, “c’mon let my wrists go babe,“ Jeno mumbled, making your cheeks turn pink as you let his wrists go, unsure where to put your hands now. Jeno shifted to sit up against the headboard, his hands resting at the curve of your hips. He kept eye contact with you, still straddling him. “Quit looking at me,” you muttered, covering your face with your hands. Your hands felt cold against your face which was now red and burning up from embarrassment. 

You didn’t even know what you could’ve been nervous about, it was Jeno, the same guy who's seen you naked on multiple occasions. Jeno only smiled, reaching to take your hands off your face. “You’re so shy now, what about earlier?” he smiled, making your cheeks turn pink as you groaned and hid your face in the crook of his neck. Jeno laughed softly, holding your waist.

The two of you sat like that for a couple minutes, Jenos thumb drawing small circles on your back. You picked your head up to look at him once more, he smiled, reaching to push some hair away from your face. There was this look Jeno always had before kissing you. It was hard to pinpoint if it was love or lust but either way he gave you a look, then looked at your lips, then back at your eyes. Jeno leaned in, locking your lips with his. As the two of you kissed, you felt his hands moving up and down your waist, one of them reaching up to get lost in your hair. 

He tilted his head slightly, your hands going up from his chest to his neck, playing with the hair that prickled your fingers. He laid you down on the bed, moving down to your neck. He continued to pepper soft kisses on your neck, making you smile. He moved back up to your face and kissed your face all over, making you giggle as the two of you entangled your limbs in sheets that smelled of him. 

You sketched away in your notebook, trying to create a good basis for your final project. If you weren’t stressed out about it before you sure as hell were now because your instructor told everyone the deadline now had no exceptions, it was to be presented in the school art show in two weeks. That meant you had two weeks to create a masterpiece from just a block of clay in order to get into a graduate art program. 

“Give me the lighter, c’mon!” Hyunjin shrieked, jumping up to grab the lighter from Chenle who kept reaching his hand up so she couldn’t grab it. You looked up from your sketchbook to see them jumping around on the rooftop, next to you Heejin sat, scrolling through some dating app. “Ugh fine!” Chenle groaned, passing the lighter to Hyunjin who only smiled and lit her cigarette. 

This was the norm for you, sitting on the rooftop of the art building with your friends. You had met Heejin and Hyunjin during your freshman year, Hyunjin was friends with Chenle and he became the group's single male friend. You had begun getting closer to Yerim because she was your roommate freshman year and that made up your small circle of friends. You had talked to other mutual friends here and there but never like you did with these four. 

Heejin put her phone down, sighing loudly so someone could hear her. You glanced at her and smiled softly. “Spit it out,” you said, still not looking up from your sketchbook. “Someone set me up with a guy!” she groaned, making Chenle burst out laughing. “Who would even date you?” he laughed even more, making Hyunjin kick his leg. “I thought you were talking to that one dude?” you furrowed your brows, now looking up to look at her.

“Him?” she questioned, a certain disgust could be heard in her voice. You nodded and she shook her head profusely. “He was so annoying god, no I need a pretty boy,” she said, as if trying to convince you guys to find someone for her. “What about that one guy, Jaemin? He hangs around Yerims friend,” Hyunjin said, blowing the smoke into the air and taking another puff of her cigarette.

Chenle furrowed his brows, “I mean.. Ugh can’t believe I’m saying this but I could try and get you an in,” he groaned out, regretting even thinking the words that came out of his mouth. You smiled softly, then glanced back at Heejin who beamed. “Really? Oh my god I knew it was worth keeping you around, thank you,” she smiled, blowing a kiss in his direction and he gagged. You shook your head and laughed, looking down at your sketchbook once more. 

“We all need to get coupled up, I mean it’s too much to be single as seniors you know!” Hyunjin groaned and Chenle furrowed his brows once more. He looked at you and a small smile grew on his face. “I think Yn here has got herself a little fling,” he said, making you pick up your head once more. “No I-” “Oh my god and you didn’t tell us? Sly sly girl!” Heejin laughed, slapping your forearm. “I don’t!” you replied, feeling antsy about what Chenle had said. 

Did he know? You knew he hung out around Jeno and some of his friends sometimes so was it possible you slipped up? Maybe he saw the two of you at that party from a month ago, or maybe he was just good with his intuition. It made you nervous, scared actually. You were worried that if Chenle knew and Jeno also happened to know then he’d just leave you, with no hesitation. 

“Oh come on, you’re always sneaking off and texting someone. Maybe you have a pretty boy of your own!” He teased, laughing as he ended his sentence. You gave him a look which then made Hyunjin join in on the teasing. “You know he has a point, who’s the lucky guy Yn!” she teased, now all of them were just making fun of you. You sucked on your teeth as you stood up, picking up your bag and shoving your sketchbook in it. 

“You know I’m not seeing anyone but please go ahead and make fun of me for all I care!” you replied, trying to level yourself by breathing in and out. “Yn it was a joke c’mon,” Chenle said, laughing nervously. “Yeah well I didn’t laugh!” your tone harsher now as you turned around to give them one last look then headed for the door. 

The door slammed behind you as you rushed down the stairs, face flushed. You weren’t sure why you were so mad, they were just joking you knew that and they knew that. So why were you pissed? Was it because you had to keep such a big secret from your friends, the ones you told everything? That you couldn’t even tell them how this part of your love life was eating you alive every second. Was it even a love life if there was only lust?

At first when you and Jeno were just having casual sex it didn’t matter because it never went past that. But then he started getting into your head and now you were here, running away from your best friends. You reached the end of the stairs, exiting the art building to find Jeno, Renjun, and Yerim walking in. 

“Yn! Me and Renjun just got off work, I was gonna come get you,” you glanced at Jeno then looked at Yerim. “Yeah uh.. Can we go? Sorry I’m just tired,” you breathed out and Yerim furrowed her brows. “Yeah of course,” she said, then glanced at Renjun and Jeno. “Thanks for walking us back Jeno and I’ll see you tomorrow Jun,” she smiled at both of them and you only looked down, feeling Jenos eyes on you. 

“Yeah of course, you guys get home safe!” Renjun said, then waving bye as they both entered the building, leaving you and Yerim on the steps to the entrance. She glanced at you as the two of you began walking. She knew something was wrong and you knew that she knew as well, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. 

Yerim didn’t take pride in it but she knew you like the back of her hand, more than you might know yourself. After living with someone for 4 years you begin to uncover their ins and outs. She knew you didn’t want to talk about it so instead the two of you walked home in a comforting silence, exactly how you liked it. 

Pottery was like relationships. It was difficult to build a good stable base on a piece, an unstable base would throw the entire piece off and eventually lead to the end. A small crack could turn into everything falling apart as the crack got bigger and bigger. As the crack gets bigger, the base begins to break leaving the entire thing a whole mess. That’s how Jeno perceived relationships. 

There were past mistakes at play with these thoughts as well, he felt as though no one really knew him no matter how much they tried to. This thought led to his own demise as he continued to date around and waste his time on girls he knew only wanted him for his looks, not who he was. But who was he? Lee Jeno didn’t know that himself. He knew that the person he was now was not the person he wanted to be. 

This is what he found himself thinking as he watched you from across the crowded house, led lights flashing all kinds of colors in the dark room. He took a sip of his beer to get rid of the familiar lump in his throat, what was he doing? With you, here at this party, with his life? Jaemin glanced at him then where you were standing talking to Chenle. “You got a crush, or you jealous?” Jaemins voice broke him out of his own thoughts as he glanced over at him, clearing his throat. “No no I think I just zoned out in that direction.” Jeno mumbled, swishing his beer around. 

“I mean, Chenle said something about Yn being with someone, think that one is off limits for you man” jaemin snickered, taking a sip of his own drink. Jeno looked up to look at him then glanced in your direction, “yeah, you’re right” Jeno mumbled back, looking down at the floor now. You were off limits, in every way possible. There were lines that Jeno wouldn’t allow himself to cross with you, certain feelings he couldn’t let himself feel. All because he was scared of that all too familiar crack. 

“Donghyuck’s setting up a game of pool with him and his friend, you down to join?” Jaemin spoke once more, leaning off against the wall and throwing his empty cup in the trash. Jeno glanced at him then you, pushing himself off the wall. “Lead the way” he mumbled, following Jaemin through the overly crowded house. Both of them made their way up the stairs, Jeno glancing around over the railing. 

He didn’t even like parties. Nothing about him actually liked being around a large group of drunk 20 year olds every night. Yet he still found himself going as an escape, from his own mind. The more he let his thoughts consume him the more he found himself back at that same place. The cracks. He couldn’t find it in himself to ever commit to something, especially not relationships. Because of those previous cracks Jeno doesn’t find himself worthy anymore, which is why he chooses to live the life he does. 

Amidst all these thoughts clouding his brain, he found himself standing across Donghyuck and his friend, mark. “Oh hey man, didn’t know you were joining us,” Mark said, an awkward tone could be heard in his voice. Jeno gave him a tight lipped smile, “yeah. Good seeing you too.” the words came out a little harsh, but he didn’t regret that. Truth be told he wasn’t very fond of Mark but not for the reasons one would assume. Mark was pretentious, always thinking he was better than others. Sometimes he was, maybe that’s why Jeno felt so threatened by him. 

Jaemin and Mark began setting up the game, Jeno watching them as he cleaned his cue, Donghyuck glanced at Jeno then mark. “A bit weird since you guys are both going for the same girl” he said, making Mark freeze up. Jaemin glanced at Jeno who only rolled his eyes. “No idea what you’re talking about man” Jeno mumbled, trying to act unphased. Why did he have to let his jealousy get the best of him? “Really? I mean Mark here told me you were dating yn?” Jaemin furrowed his brows and kept his gaze on Jeno. Jeno looked up to see everyone else looking at him. “Dude.. c’mon” Mark muttered next to Donghyuck, who only smiled smugly. 

Jeno shifted his gaze at Mark who looked at something behind Jeno, looking insanely nervous. He looked at Jaemin then sighed. “Me and yn are not dating, I would never see her like that” Jeno finally said, making Donghyuck nod and smile softly as he looked behind Jeno. “Hey yn!” he said, waving his hand. Jeno felt this pit in his stomach, like everything was going to go wrong now. He breathed out, trying to keep his composure. He turned around to see you, standing next to Heejin and Chenle. “Didn’t hear you coming” he mumbled, making the anger bubble in your chest more than it was. “Yeah?” you breathed out, glaring at him. 

Crack. 

He finally looked at you to hold your gaze, there was something behind your eyes that he hadn’t ever seen before. Hurt? Anger? Sadness? No it wasn’t any of those but rather regret.

You regretted meeting the man in front of you. 

You cleared your throat and walked past Jeno, sitting down on the couch not too far from the pool table. Chenle followed, sitting down next to you. You had your arms crossed, looking down at your feet. He glanced at you then Jeno. “You know you can tell me anything right?” Chenle said, making you look up to look at him. You knew you could, that wasn’t far from the truth but you didn’t want to. Suddenly the severity of yours and Jenos relationship was more than clear, as it was clouded in rose colored lenses before. 

You yearned for the chase of Jeno and the idea of being his to keep but he didn’t want you in the same way, no, he wouldn’t want you in the same way as far as you knew it. Not when he would say explicitly to people you knew that he wouldn’t ever want you in that way. How could you have let your own delusions take you this far? 

“Yeah i know” you finally breathed out, shifting your gaze at Jeno, then back to Chenle. Chenle pursed his lips, then sighed, deciding not to ask you anything further. You were glad because it was embarrassing, telling someone you wasted so much time on someone who didn’t want you in the first place. You did deserve better and it took Jeno talking about you like you were worthless for you to realize that. 

Before you knew it the game of pool had ended and you watched as all four of them talked amongst themselves. The same thoughts kept flooding your head, why? Why would you let yourself get dragged into this mess with him? Why would you let yourself get treated like this? Why would you fall for him? Amongst all these thoughts there was one that was calling out to you, why were you still here? You had no reason to be, Heejin was clinged to Jaemin and Chenle was now talking to Mark and Donghyuck. 

You got up from the couch, walking past the group they had formed to leave. Although you wanted to think no one noticed, one person did. Out of the corner of his eye Jeno saw you walk away and rush downstairs, he glanced back at Jaemin who was too busy talking to Heejin. “Gonna go use the bathroom” Jeno muttered, walking away from the conversation and rushing downstairs to find you. Fortunately he knew you and he knew you would be going outside, unfortunately he knew that the last person you wanted to see was him. 

He worked his way through the crowd, walking past drunk people and people who were high out of their minds. Finally he found himself at the entrance to the backyard which was open, in the distance he could see you standing in the field of grass. He walked out and shut the door behind him, making his way over to you. For some reason you always knew when he was around because you immediately turned around. 

You two stared at each other for a couple minutes, both of you unsure what to say until you finally broke the shared silence. “I thought you would never want to be seen with me,” you breathed out, your words cutting through Jeno like a knife. He pursed his lips and sighed, “Yn I never said that” he mumbled and you furrowed your brows, almost in amusement. “You basically could’ve,” you replied back, making him sigh out once more, but this time in frustration. 

“I had to say that, it would’ve gotten too weird,” he said, making you roll your eyes in response, “no one would’ve cared if we were together Jeno.” were. You said were. What did this mean for you and him now, he thought. “You don’t get it yn,” you furrowed your brows once more, squinting your eyes to make sure you were seeing him properly. But you weren’t. You didn’t recognize this side of Jeno because all you had seen was the side of him that you thought wanted you, and now you can’t tell the real from the fake. 

“Is it really that impossible to want me? Seriously Jeno?” your words hit him hard but you weren’t upset, rather angry, at yourself. Jeno wanted to reach out for your hand but he stopped himself, clenching his fist instead. “Baby-” “Don’t.” you cut him off, breathing out and closing your eyes, what was the point of this argument? Were you here to knock some sense into him because it wouldn't work and you knew that deep down. Instead you knew that you should just walk away, but your feet were stuck in that same place as you stared back at him. 

For once his eyes weren’t filled with lust but rather longing and need, was this just another one of his tactics to get you to stay?  Was it working, is that why you couldn’t find it in yourself to leave? He continued to stare at you until he broke eye contact looking down at the grass instead. What was he doing, why would he say that, how could he say that, all these questions ran through his head as he stood in front of you. You looked at him once more and sighed, starting to walk away until he grabbed your hand to stop you. 

You looked at him with almost hopeful eyes until he said something you never expected. “I love you.” he breathed out, staring back at you. You looked between his eyes back and forth, for an answer. He was hoping for something back, but you stood there in silence as you looked in his eyes. Finally you did something, retracting your hand away from his hold. 

Crack. 

“Are you serious?” you finally spoke, rather calmly and Jeno could only stare back at you. Your chest heaved up and down as you breathed in and out, trying to calm yourself. You looked up at the sky, closing your eyes. You looked back at himself feeling the anger bubble up even more. “Can you say something?” you said and Jeno only pursed his lips, your anger rubbing off on him. “What else do you want me to say? I already said I love you yn” those three words again, hitting you like a blow to the face. 

“Anything but that Jeno please.” You mumbled and Jeno only furrowed his brows in confusion, “I thought this is what you wanted? You wanted to know if I want you and here's your answer” Jeno said back making you feel even angrier. "You don’t love me Jeno so stop saying it” you said now it being Jenos turn to be amused. “Seriously what more do you want from me yn?” he replied rather annoyed and you only glared at him. 

“Nothing! I want nothing from you because you don’t love me. You loved the idea of having me to yourself.” you shouted now, feeling the anger boil over in your body. Jeno scoffed, “Don't do that, you and I both know that this love of yours means nothing in the long run Jeno” you continued on, making Jeno silent. 

Crack. 

“You’ll say this to me now and by next week we’ll be back here, you publicly denying any ties to me and me having to be embarrassed with myself for doing this in the first place!” You shouted some more, feeling tears brimming in your eyes, he watched you with a cold gaze, so unreadable. “Embarrassed? Really Yn?” and you stood there baffled, that that was all he got from what you said. You laughed, in disbelief and hurt. “Jeno you can’t love anyone because you don’t even value yourself. Face it you’re insecure and it rubs off on the person you’re with,” Your voice was calmer now, more confrontational. He sighed out in frustration at your words. “I told you I loved you Yn” he said and you scoffed right in his face, “Those words don’t mean anything without actions Jeno. You and I both know that,” You finally sighed out and the words were hitting him harder now more than ever. 

You were right, it didn’t mean anything without his actions. And what were his actions? Manipulating you, claiming he loved you when he didn’t? Maybe there was an ounce of love for you in him but you were right once more. He couldn’t love anyone because he didn’t value himself. At all really, he didn’t hold himself to any value. He watched as you breathed in and out deeply, wiping away a few stray tears that fell, shaking your head. “Jeno I don’t want to see you again, luckily you don’t either so this’ll be easy,” you finally said, Jeno still stuck frozen. He watched you walk away and let himself stay out there, to reflect on what he could’ve had. 

Breakups weren’t easy, especially when no titles were actually established in a relationship. Jeno laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark, his hand over the spot that you used to sleep in when you were here. But that side on his bed was now cold from your loss, you weren’t there, and you weren’t going to be. For the past week Jeno had been wallowing in his own self pity, locking himself in his apartment. If it weren’t for Renjun and Jaemin breaking in with their spare keys he wouldn’t have eaten anything either. 

Jeno flipped over to his side, still clutching his pillow as he laid in bed. He was sure both Renjun and Jaemin knew by now, it was painfully obvious, but he didn’t care anymore. All he could care about was how right you were, how you, who he thought didn't know him, actually knew him inside and out. He sighed out, shutting his eyes to fall back into his deep sleep once more, his dreams and thoughts being clouded with only you. 

When he woke up he found that his bedroom door was open and there was food placed on his bedside counter. He sat up in his bed, staring at the wall across from the bed as he heard a set of footsteps get closer and closer to his room. He glanced at the doorway to see Renjun standing there. The two of them held eye contact with one another until Renjun fully walked into his room, sitting at the edge of the bed across from him. “You didn’t eat your breakfast,” Renjun finally said, making Jeno look up from his blanket. “Wasn’t hungry,” he mumbled in response and Renjun nodded, looking down at the floor. 

“If you’re here to lecture me then just go Renjun, I know I’m a dick,” Jeno breathed out, crossing his arms as Renjun lifted his head, tilting his head. “I’m not.” Renjun said, making Jeno sigh, almost in relief. He didn’t want to talk about it with Renjun or even Jaemin because it was too embarrassing, that he was too in his own head that he didn’t even stop to think how it was affecting you. “But, why’d you hide it?” Renjun continued, making Jeno purse his lips in thought.

Why did he? From the moment Jeno met you he knew you were a good reliable person, you also just clicked with him immediately, so much that it scared him. So that was why he suggested hiding it from your friends in the first place, that if people didn’t know then it would be easier for him to leave you like he did with everyone else. Yet the more time he spent with you the more he kept growing closer to you, unknowingly. One thing led to another and you two had been seeing each other for 4 months, from then it was too late for him to leave so he kept giving you reasons to leave him. 

From telling you not to act close around him at parties to getting jealous over Mark, everything was calculated in Jenos eyes. You just couldn’t see that he was trying to get rid of you. Why did you stay after all he was putting you through. Why did you want him so much that it started to hurt him? Even Jeno didn’t know the answer to that. 

“I just.. thought it was for the best.” 

“But did she think that? Do you think she liked being hidden Jen?” 

Renjuns' words cleared the clouds away in Jenos vision. You didn’t want to be hidden. Of course you didn’t want to be hidden, what made him think you did? “No.. I just said that on my own, she didn’t suggest it,” Jeno finally said, making Renjun sigh out in response. “Look, I’m not entirely sure what happened between the two of you but what I do know is that you both need to communicate, she didn’t deserve to be hidden like some dirty secret and there clearly are some things left unsaid between the both of you.” Renjun said what he had been meaning to tell Jeno, he was right. You didn’t deserve any of this. You deserved love and appreciation, he had been treating you terribly this whole time and you didn’t deserve to endure that. 

“How do I even talk to her, Jun she hates me” Jeno spoke once more, “if she hated you, she wouldn’t have extended an invitation to the art show.” Renjun said without missing a beat, making Jeno furrow his brows. Renjun reached into his pocket, taking out a ticket to the art show and putting it in Jenos lap. Jeno stared back at the ticket, it was mocking him.

There was no way he could muster up the courage to go and face you after embarrassing you like he did. But his heart got the better of him. Jeno stood up from the bed, making Renjun look up at him with a confused stare. He stood like that for a bit and then cleared his throat, “So? Are you going to help me pick something to wear,” Jeno finally said, making Renjun nod and smile. “You know you need to shower,” he said, standing up from the bed making Jeno playfully shove his shoulder, giggling as he did so. 

You stared at the finished piece behind the glass casing of the exhibit. Staring back at you was a heart, with scars and almost battle wounds that were covered by something that resembled a bandaid. Behind it were two small angel-esque wings coming out of it. The piece in itself was up to interpretation as you had told your professor but you knew what the meaning was. It was meant to resemble a heart after a long well lived life, although there were scars and wounds the heart was still put together constantly, signifying that even if things were dull you would get back up. 

That was how you saw yourself after everything with Jeno, you were damaged and bruised sure, but that didn’t mean your life would just stop. The first couple days went in blurs, going home just to sleep and spending the rest of your time in the workshop, but after a long talk with Yerim, you started to feel better. You didn’t have to think about all the what ifs but rather move on from the fact that it had happened and it’s over now. 

The exhibit was now empty and speaking of Jeno, you had passed an invitation to him via Renjun, no one else had seen him since the party. You didn’t expect him to come but you were hoping he would, he always liked seeing your pieces. You sighed, glancing around and seeing no sight of Jeno or anyone else for that matter. You turned around to find yourself face to face with Jeno, but he wasn’t looking at you. You followed where his gaze went and he was looking at the piece, admiring it with glistening eyes. 

He looked like he just showered, his skin always got a little red after a shower. You wondered what he had been up to this past week. He shifted his gaze from the piece, over to you. That was when everything fell silent in your head. “It’s good.. Like really good,” Jeno finally said, smiling softly. “Thanks, I worked really hard on it,” you replied, cursing yourself mentally because what did you mean you worked really hard on it? Of course you did.

He smiled and looked down at his feet, clearly thinking about something. He wanted to say something, you could tell by the way he stood, anxiously fiddling with the rings on his fingers. A part of you wanted to say what he was thinking before he got the chance to but you held yourself back, this was one of those things he had to do on his own. 

You hoped it was what you were thinking about. Truth be told, even if you were happy this was over, you would be lying if you said you didn’t want him. In some weird fucked up away, you would always want him even if it led to you being hurt. For some reason you let it slide but you told yourself, if you were to try again with him, it would be different. 

“I'm sorry, for everything” He finally said, lifting his head up. You took a deep breath and nodded, signaling for him to continue. “I’ve been terrible and there's no excuse, when we first started seeing each other I thought it would be one of those flings where we move on from each other after a week, but it’s not. I care about you Yn and it may not seem like it but I do want to be with you. I know you don't feel the same but I love you Yn.” He breathed out, his voice going soft at the last sentence. You furrowed your brows and spoke up before he could. ‘Who said I didn’t love you Jen?” 

He stared back at you and you sighed, “I do love you, I just thought you were saying it just so I wouldn’t get upset,” you breathed out, Jeno shaking his head. “It’s okay Jen, I forgive you. But if we want to give this another shot we have to talk to one another.”

There was a pause between the both of you, Jeno only smiled softly. “So.. what does this mean?” He said, a sense of hope in his voice. You needed to be the bearer of bad news. You sighed and ran your hand through your hair, “I got accepted to the graduate program” You breathed out, making Jeno smile even more. “That’s amazing Yn, I knew you would get in,” he said, making you nod and smile in response. “The reason why I’m bringing it up is because it’s in a different city, about 3 hours away,” you finally said, inserting the metaphorical knife.

Jeno fell silent, he thought about the weight of your words. “I can do long distance Yn.” He spoke up, surprising you and himself that he was thinking with his heart. You fell silent, in shock. He wore the same frown he did earlier and nodded. “Okay so you don’t want to” he sighed out and you widened your eyes. “No I do!” you said, rather loudly and quickly. He stared back at you, a small smile on his face. “But let’s take it slow, you know.. I mean most of our relationship is gonna be through texts and calls,” you said, making him smile even more. “Anything you want.” He muttered, breaking the gap between you two to reach out and hold his hand.

You two began walking, hearts dancing as your footsteps aligned with one another. “You know if we’re going slow, should we start over?” Jeno said, making you nod as you let go of his hand, making him stop walking. You stood in front of him and held out your hand for him to shake. “Hi, I’m Yn,” you said, a big smile on your face as he looked down at your hand and smiled. Jeno shook your hand. “I’m Jeno, and I love you,” he blurted out, making both of you laugh out loud in the now empty exhibit. Your laughs echoed off the walls and Jeno pulled you into his chest, a tight embrace. “I love you too” you mumbled in his ear, tip toeing so he could hear you. 

Nothing was ever meant to be perfect, relationships nor sculpting but it didn’t hurt anyone to give it a shot. 

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[leejenowrld]

Can we get a scene where Jeno and Y/n finally hook up after trying literally everything to get rid of the kids?

warning — there’s a line about serin saying she wants a “skinny barbie” but real ones know that’s not me being offensive and real ones know that it comes from the classic movie ‘instant family’ lol, i just wanted to include it as serin reminds me of lita. 😭😭 please it’s only a joke and a reference from my favourite movie ever. just know she does defo get told off for these comments.

the day bleeds in slow and thick—jeno’s mouth on your throat, his hand already slick between your thighs, tongue tracing your pulse as you writhe beneath him, covers thrown half-off. “stay still for me, baby,” he murmurs, and you do, shivering, hips canting up, nails in his hair, gasping out a laugh as he bites at your jaw and tells you all the filthy things he’s going to do before sunrise. you’re half-crazy with it, giggly and dizzy and pressed so close you could swear there’s no air between you—jeno grinding his cock against your ass, rutting slow, breath rough as you reach back to squeeze his thigh, both of you giddy with the knowledge you might actually get away with it this morning.

except the world never gives you peace. the door crashes open, and serin arrives in a burst of chaos and gold—socks missing, wild curls bouncing, unicorn plushie swinging from her hand like a weapon. “mama! dada! i can’t find my sock!” her voice is sharp as a bell, slicing through the heat. she climbs right onto your hips, wedging herself between your bare legs with all the confidence of royalty, squishing your breast and wriggling her cold feet against jeno’s chest until he groans, pulling the sheet up to his chin. “serin—sunshine, let’s—” but she’s having none of it, flopping across your body, demanding, “where’s my sock? i need pink, not blue! and i need cuddles! big cuddles!”

she drapes herself dramatically across you, snuggling her head right between your breasts, giggling as she kicks jeno in the stomach, then pouts when he tries to shift her. “mama, you smell funny. did you steal my lotion?” she accuses, squinting up at you with that suspicious, bossy look, poking your cheek until you laugh so hard you can’t even pretend to scold her. jeno just hides his face, muttering, “every damn time,” as serin pats his cheek, demanding, “no grumpy papa! only snuggles!”

you sigh, sinking back, letting her soft hands squish your cheeks, the three of you tangled together—her little body sprawled across your hips, her lips pressed to your collarbone, warm and insistent. “i want snuggles, mama. and i want pancakes. and where’s my unicorn sock?” her voice rings out, queenly and imperious, and you’re forced to trade kisses for giggles, desire for the wild, golden sunshine of your baby girl. before you can answer, she wriggles up onto jeno’s chest, pokes him between the eyes, and kicks her feet—“daddy! i need fresh sock! bring me new one, pwease!”—her toes wiggling for emphasis, little face scrunched with bossy sweetness. jeno groans, half-laughing, buries his face in your neck, and you both melt into helpless, giddy laughter as serin beams, victorious, nuzzling your arm and curling close, your whole morning rewritten by the stubborn, sparkling joy of your bubba girl.

the kitchen is chaos. cereal on the floor, milk dripping in slow white rivers down the table legs, serin banging a spoon against her bowl, demanding, “where my toast! i want honey! why no honey, mama!” you catch jeno’s eyes across the countertop as you hunt for a clean mug, both of you wild-eyed, barely holding back laughter. he slides up behind you as you reach for the kettle, palms smoothing over your waist, hips pressing close, his lips ghosting over your ear. “you taste better than coffee,” he whispers, and you bite back a groan, glancing at the clock—if you’re quick, if you’re careful—but then serin screams, “junie spill! junie spill all the milk!” and junie is wailing, “no i didn’t, sissy did!” and jeno peels away with a sigh, rolling his eyes, but his hand lingers at your waist, thumb dragging low, promising.

you try the bathroom next. the kids are sprawled on the living room rug, glued to peppa pig, and you slip away, tugging jeno down the hall, hearts hammering with the wild thrill of it—parents on the run, five stolen minutes in a silent house. he’s already pushing you back against the cool tile, mouth hot and open on your neck, hands greedy, urgent, laughing into your skin as you wrap your legs around his waist, moaning, “lock the door, lock the door, jeno—” but then a shrill voice echoes, “mamaaaa! where’s my dolly? i need pee-pee! daddy! mama!” and the spell snaps—jeno cursing, forehead pressed to yours, both of you panting, ruined by the chaos you made.

in the hallway, you’re wild for him. he’s got one hand buried in your hair, teeth nipping the corner of your mouth, his other hand slipping under your shirt, fingertips teasing, just enough to make you gasp. you hiss, “just take me, just—” but a tiny, damp body crashes into your legs, serin giggling, “mama! i wanna ride the pony!” jeno snorts, grinning wicked, “after you, baby,” as she tries to climb him like a tree. you bury your face in his shoulder, both of you dissolving into laughter, the ache burning deeper, unfulfilled, but so stupidly sweet you could cry.

lunchtime—junie asks nicely for a dinosaur sandwich. you try to cut the bread, but jeno’s pressed up behind you again, hard through his sweatpants, whispering, “just let me, just five minutes—” but junie is crying, “dada, cut it wrong! i want big teeth, like t-rex! mama, fix it!” you nearly laugh-cry as jeno leans close, voice thick, “i’ll show you teeth tonight.” you flick him with a grape, eyes wild, mouthing, you’re impossible, and he just smirks, sliding a hand under the hem of your shirt. junie snatches your hand, demanding, “help me, mama! dada’s silly!” and you mouth back, “you’re the worst,” as jeno grins, and the two of you stand there, horny and helpless, with a dinosaur sandwich in pieces on the plate and sticky fingers clinging to your thighs.

jeno is kissing you up the hallway wall, laughter pressed between your teeth, your hips caged by his hands and your shirt already yanked halfway up. you’re dizzy with how long you’ve been waiting—every accidental brush, every wicked glance across the dinner table, the way his thumb traces circles just below your waistband when no one’s looking. the kids have finally crashed in a sea of glitter and tv static, and you’re thinking, maybe tonight, maybe you can finally tear into each other with nobody needing water, nobody wanting a story, nobody yelling for “mama” or “dada” every three seconds.

you’re giggling, tugging at his t-shirt, your lips swollen and breath already shallow, jeno’s voice low in your ear: “five minutes. just five, i’ll make you scream, promise.” he lifts you with both hands, your thighs wrapped tight around his waist, his mouth hot against your jaw—when there’s the unmistakable squeak of little feet, and a tiny shadow at the end of the hall.

“dada!” serin crows, barrelling over, clutching a tangle of dolls in each hand, hair wild and cheeks sticky from some forgotten snack. “dada, come play barbies with me! now, now, now!”

jeno’s hands freeze under your ass. you both look at her, caught mid-grope, hair mussed, your shirt still crooked. you try not to laugh, biting your lip so hard it hurts. jeno, lips red, panting, tries to smooth himself out, voice gentle but breathless: “bubba, daddy’s a little busy right now, can you wait five—”

she shakes her head, lip trembling, already winding up for the performance of her life. “no! play now! fat barbie’s stuck in car and skinny barbie wanna go party!” she pushes a doll at him, her chubby little fingers forcing it into his palm.

you mouth, go on, barely holding back tears of laughter, but he gives you a look that says you’re going to pay for this later. he crouches down, still hard, still half-wild, and takes the doll. serin’s on a mission—she lines up the dolls, barbie and ken and a horse missing a leg, barking orders: “no, daddy, barbie don’t walk like that. barbie walk like this.” she makes a stiff, swaying walk, then shoves “fat barbie” into your lap, eyes narrowed.

jeno glances up at you, mouthing help me as serin’s voice rises, high and sharp. she picks up the curvy doll and, frowning, hurls it across the room. “no! i don’t want fat barbie!” she yells, bottom lip jutting out, cheeks flushed. “i want skinny barbie! skinny barbie wear pink dress, go party. fat barbie too slow. i don’t want her!” the doll lands with a thunk, spinning under the dresser. she stamps her foot, little fists balled, eyes shining with the kind of righteous, world-ending fury only a toddler can muster. you and jeno catch eyes over the dolls, every scrap of lust twisted into helpless laughter and exasperation and love—desire dissolving in the heat of serin’s tantrum, both of you sitting cross-legged in a battlefield of plastic, absolutely, completely, hopelessly hers.

by dinner, the tension is nearly unbearable—jeno’s hand is constantly at your hip, thigh, waist, thumb brushing over the waistband of your leggings, teasing you until you nearly snap. he catches you alone in the pantry, lifts you onto the shelf, mouths hot and filthy, tongue tangled with yours, breath harsh against your cheek, “let me, just let me—” and you whimper, legs wrapping around him, hips grinding down, desperate. there’s the unmistakable thud of little feet, serin’s high-pitched voice, “mama, what you doing?” jeno nearly drops you, both of you dissolving into laughter, hiding your flushed faces as you call, “getting pasta, baby!”

bathtime is chaos—two slippery, shrieking bodies, suds everywhere, water sloshed onto the floor, serin with a crown of bubbles, junie dumping a cup over her head. jeno grabs you with soapy hands, drags you in for a kiss, mouth wet and urgent, and you melt into him, your hand sliding into his pants—“mama! daddy!” junie yells, “sissy splashed my eye!” and the moment is gone, again, laughter shaking both of you as you towel them off, hope still burning wild behind your eyes.

after putting your babies in soft pajamas, junie’s curled up into your side like he always is, head tucked just beneath your chin, his lashes fluttering against your collarbone as you read the last few pages of his favourite bedtime book. the room smells like his shampoo—apple and honey—and the soft hum of his nightlight glows over the blanket you’re both bundled under. he’s tracing little circles on your arm with his thumb, murmuring every now and then, “is the bear sleepy now?” or “can you say the voice again, mama?”

your phone buzzes in your lap.

jeno: how’s my boy? still glued to you like a koala?

you smile without meaning to, press a kiss to junie’s curls, then whisper, “mama’s here, bubba,” when he stirs slightly, already half-asleep.

you: he won’t let go. i’m his bed now, apparently.

jeno: lucky boy. i’d do the same.

you glance toward the hallway. he’s meant to be cleaning up after dinner, but you know he’s lying on the couch, probably with his hoodie pulled up and that smile he only ever uses when he’s thinking of something he shouldn’t. your phone buzzes again.

jeno: your voice through that door’s been killing me. i can hear it, all low and sweet. can’t stop thinking about it.

you shift just a little, careful not to wake junie, who’s now drooling gently into the crook of your arm. your thumb brushes his soft cheek and you sigh quietly, overwhelmed with love.

you: don’t start. he’s so peaceful.

jeno: you’re beautiful when you’re like this. soft voice. soft hands. baby in your lap. and that look in your eyes.

you blink down at junie. he whispers, “mama, bear’s home now,” and you nod, your voice catching slightly.

“he is, baby. bear’s always home when you are.”

your phone buzzes again.

jeno: i’ll wait up. you can read me something later, too.

jeno: something just for me.

you tuck your phone away. press one last kiss to junie’s forehead. and as he finally settles with a tiny, content sigh—your arms full, your heart aching—you think about the way jeno looked at you earlier when he passed you the dishes. the softness in his eyes. the way his fingers brushed yours on purpose. you’d give anything to be curled into his side next. but for now—this is home. all of it. every version of you they love. and jeno? he’ll get his chapter next.

“lock it,” you gasp, and he fumbles, one-handed, behind you, slamming the lock into place. you barely make it to the bed—he’s already stripping your clothes, teeth grazing your collarbone, hands greedy, mouth worshipping every inch. your shirt’s gone, your leggings next, his tongue hot and wicked on your skin, breath hot against your ear as he mutters, “all day, all fucking day, all i thought about was you.”

“i know,” you gasp, raking your nails down his back, his hips grinding against yours, cock thick and heavy, already leaking against your thigh. he kneels between your legs, mouth everywhere—breasts, stomach, hips—murmuring, “so beautiful, can’t believe you’re mine, gonna ruin you for anyone else.” you arch, gasping, hands tangled in his hair, his tongue finding you slick, swollen, desperate.

jeno’s tongue works you open in slow, worshipping circles, his breath shaky as he laps at you, sucking your clit between his lips until you’re trembling, thighs locked around his head. “fuck, jeno, please—inside, need you, need you now—” he pulls back, chin glistening, grinning like a boy with a secret. “you’re dripping,” he teases, voice rough, “is this all for me?” he traces a finger through your folds, pushing two inside without warning, curling until you’re gasping, the pressure building quick and brutal, your hips rocking to meet him.

his mouth finds your nipple, tongue swirling, teeth grazing just enough to make you whine, every sound raw, needy, dangerous. the house is alive with the muffled chaos of children somewhere down the hall—junie’s sing-song babble, serin’s shrill little “no!”—and all you can do is chase the heat blooming in your core, fighting to keep quiet. “we can’t—” you whisper, half-laughing, half-pleading, but he’s already mouthing up your throat, biting at your jaw, “don’t care, let them knock, let them scream, i’m not stopping till i’m inside you.”

you flip him, hungry, greedy, push him down hard against the mattress—jeno’s eyes go wide, dark, his cock flushed and bobbing, thick and leaking for you. you grip him at the base, teasing your soaked cunt over his head, letting the tip catch, dragging it through your folds, teasing both of you till you’re shaking. “just put it in,” he growls, desperate now, his hands bruising at your hips, thumbs digging crescent marks into your skin. “please, fuck, ride me—want you to make me lose it, babe, come on—”

you sink down slow, breath catching, cunt swallowing him inch by inch, tight, stretching, perfect. jeno’s hands fly up, clutching your ass, fingers digging in, hips jerking up to meet you halfway. “oh, fuck—fuck, you feel so good, how are you always so—tight—” you bounce, slow at first, rolling your hips, grinding down till your clit rubs against his pubic bone, the friction so sharp it makes your whole body light up. your hands frame his face, nails raking over his jaw, his mouth falling open as you fuck him deep, rough, desperate.

“missed this,” you whisper, grinding down harder, letting him watch every roll of your hips, every quiver of your thighs. “missed you inside me, jeno, wanted you all day.” he groans, bucking up, his cock thick and deep inside you, the stretch delicious, punishing. “harder, ride me harder, pretty—wanna feel you, wanna watch you come—”

you do, picking up the pace, the slap of skin loud, dangerous, drowned out only by your strangled whimpers and his deep, ruined moans. his hands never stop moving—palming your tits, pinching your nipples, sliding up to grip your throat, thumb pressing gentle but possessive under your jaw. “this is mine,” he says, voice a rasp, eyes burning. “say it.”

“yours,” you breathe, head tipping back, the pleasure climbing, dizzying. “i’m yours, always—fuck—jeno, please—”

his hand finds your clit, fingers circling in tight, ruthless little strokes. you gasp, legs shaking, your orgasm building so fast it’s almost cruel. “that’s it, babe, let me see you—so pretty when you come for me—” he keeps working you, hips snapping up, driving into you so deep it knocks the breath out of you.

your body locks up, orgasm tearing through you, hot and sharp and endless. you try to stifle the scream against his neck, but it still slips out—a broken, keening sound. jeno fucks you through it, his cock swelling, voice ragged, “shit, i’m gonna—inside, yeah? want me to fill you up, make you messy?”

you nod, frantic, still grinding, clenching around him, greedy for every drop. “please, baby, give it to me, fill me—need it, need you—”

he comes with a guttural moan, cock twitching inside you, thick spurts of cum spilling deep, the heat flooding you, making you tremble, nails biting into his chest. you collapse forward, bodies sticky, breathless, mouths crashing together, tongues tangled and desperate.

you’re both laughing, shaky and giddy, the wild thrill of almost-getting-caught sparking between every kiss. jeno strokes your back, lips soft at your temple, voice smug: “bet they’re right outside, you know. if they see us like this—”

you cut him off with another kiss, rolling your hips slow, still milking him, drawing out every aftershock. “don’t care,” you whisper, breath hot against his lips, “let them wait. this is my time.”

jeno grins, lazy, hands splayed over your ass, thumbs stroking circles. “always so greedy for me, huh?” he teases, but there’s love in it, a softness that fills the space between every filthy word. you nuzzle into his neck, inhale the sweat and heat and scent of him, still trembling from the force of it all.

then—footsteps. tiny, thundering, much too close. you freeze, both of you going still, listening, your cunt still full of him, sticky with both your come.

“mamaaaa! i can’t find my barbie! junie took her!” serin’s voice is a wail at the door, her little fists pounding, the world snapping back all at once. jeno stifles a groan, eyes squeezing shut, cock twitching inside you as you struggle not to laugh.

you press a finger to his lips, mouthing, “shhh, let’s just—wait.” another shriek. “mama! i need my skinny barbie! junie has the fat one! i don’t want fat barbie, i want skinny barbie!”

jeno snorts, hands splayed on your hips, still inside you, still hardening. you hide your face in his neck, shoulders shaking with laughter, breathless and wild.

“that’s your daughter,” he whispers, voice wrecked, lips ghosting your ear. “so dramatic.” his cock is still buried deep, both of you reluctant to move, unwilling to lose the heat, the closeness, the afterglow.

the pounding grows louder. “mama! open up! i said i want skinny barbie! give it back!” the spell finally breaks—you pull off, slow, a messy spill of cum dripping down your thighs, your body aching and sated. you scramble for your clothes, tossing jeno his boxers, both of you half-naked and laughing, stumbling around the wreck of your bed.

jeno catches you, hands on your waist, voice low, “tonight, again. you and me. i want to fuck you slow this time, want to taste you for hours.” you kiss him, soft, lazy, promise humming between your lips.

the lock rattles. “mama! i need her now!” serin’s tantrum is at full tilt, footsteps stomping away. you both collapse back, giddy, hearts racing, the danger and the sweetness twined together, the house echoing with your chaos, your love, your ruin.

jeno traces lazy circles on your bare hip, eyes soft. “worth it. always.”

“always,” you murmur, rolling into him, the mess and the laughter and the ache all tangled up in each other, a secret kept between your bodies, just for now.

extra —

these days, sex is less planned, more primal—woven into the folds of ordinary life, snatched between naptimes and the threat of tiny feet pounding down the hall. in the kitchen, you’re still in pajamas, sleeves soaked from washing up after breakfast, and jeno’s behind you, arms sliding around your waist. his voice is all gravel and mischief: “let papa have a taste, mama.” his hands slip beneath your shirt, palm splaying hot over your stomach, your hips arching back, his cock stiff against your ass as you shiver, “not here—” but it’s too late. he drags you against the countertop, yanks your panties down, and fucks you quick, deep, his teeth at your ear, and you muffle your cries in a dishtowel, praying the cartoons in the living room are loud enough.

sometimes you sneak off “to fold laundry,” only for him to corner you in the guest room, mouth bruising yours, lifting your leg to hook over his hip. “just a minute, mama. just a minute, please.” your giggles melt into desperate little whimpers, both of you frantic and greedy, the dryer humming beneath your thighs. you barely have time to straighten your hair before serin bursts in, clutching her bunny, eyes wide. “what you doin’, mama?” you and jeno freeze, breath caught—jeno coughs, you kneel and press a kiss to her curls, “just helping papa fix the blanket, bubba.”

the car is the worst—jeno’s hand between your legs at every red light, his fingers dancing under the hem of your dress, both of you trying to keep a straight face while the bubbas babble in the backseat, fighting over snacks. sometimes you pull over, parking half-crooked by a field, and climb into the back, rolling over the carseats and grinning, “faster, papa, before they wake up.” your laughter muffled by his hand, biting your own wrist to keep quiet. one time, just as you both collapse in a sweaty heap, junie stirs, sleepy-eyed, peering over the seat: “why mama lie on papa like that?”

the living room is a minefield. you’re straddling jeno on the couch, grinding in slow circles, his hands up your shirt when the baby monitor crackles and both of you freeze, half-naked, hearts pounding. serin’s voice: “mama, can i have juice?” you spring apart, flush in your cheeks, and toss jeno a death glare as he stifles a laugh, tucking himself away. you fix your clothes, press a kiss to his forehead, and march to the kitchen—jeno whispering, “later, mama, promise.”

showers are your hideaway—jeno crowds you against the foggy glass, the water hot and heavy, your legs around his waist, his mouth on your throat, his voice thick with praise, “such a good girl for papa, so pretty, so perfect.” sometimes a little fist pounds at the door, and you both gasp, jeno’s hand clamped over your mouth as you whisper, “five more seconds, five more seconds—”

even the nursery isn’t safe. you lock the door, pin jeno to the rocking chair, ride him slow and wet, the mobile spinning above your heads. “quiet, mama,” he grins, slapping your ass, “the babies are right there.” after, you tidy yourselves up and tiptoe back into the hallway, only to nearly trip over serin and junie curled up outside the door, giggling, “we was listening for lullabies!”

sometimes it’s the rush of almost getting caught—jeno’s hand slipping under the dinner table, your palm in his lap, a heated glance exchanged over a pile of mashed peas. you keep your cool through bedtime stories, kisses for each bubba, “goodnight, mama, goodnight, papa!”—and the second their doors close, you’re dragged into the dark, jeno’s voice wicked in your ear, “come on, mama. let’s make it worth the wait.”

you both know the rules now—always listen for footsteps, always keep a robe within reach, always lock the damn door. but it’s the risk, the laughter, the panting breath, the way he mouths “mine” against your shoulder with your panties still pushed up high, that keeps it burning, keeps you desperate, keeps you young and hungry and in love. every room in this house has a secret memory—fingerprints smeared on the bathroom mirror, a love bite blooming above the waistband of your leggings, your gasps swallowed by jeno’s kiss behind the pantry door. it’s the sweet, stupid, hungry chaos: his palm pressed over your mouth as you ride him in the hallway, your breath hot and fast, both of you trying not to laugh when you hear the slap of little feet right outside the door—“papa, where’s my juice?”—jeno’s eyes wild as he hisses, “quiet, mama, quiet, quiet, don’t let them hear you.” it’s the thrill of quick, stolen orgasms in the middle of the day, the rush of pulling your dress down, faces flushed, giggling as you scramble to play innocent when the bubbas crash in. it’s the flush in his cheeks when you mouth “later” from across the kitchen, the ache in your thighs from being bent over the dryer, the scrape of his teeth on your shoulder as he buries himself inside you with the morning light pouring through the nursery window. this isn’t just routine, isn’t just habit—it’s hunger that never gets old, the game you both still play, the secret language you’ll always speak. because even with a house full of babies, laundry piling up, toys everywhere—jeno is still yours, you are still his, and the way you burn for each other is the kind of thing you’d ruin the world to keep.

[darlingyus]

vespertine ݁݁✦ ⌇ lee jeno

GENRE: angsty romance (?), hurt/comfort, mutual pining, badboy!jeno x softhearted!reader WARNINGS: kissing, heavy tension, a lil suggestive, mention of physical violence, jeno is briefly described as being a player, somewhat superficial descriptions of visible injuries (bruises, cuts, blood). WORD COUNT: 475

Come to think of it, it wasn't a rare occurrence to see Lee Jeno show up at your doorstep at ungodly hours of the night, his skin sporting fresh bruises and cuts from all the fights he was often involved in on a day-to-day basis.

You had grown quite accustomed to it, actually.

You don't know why he always came to you for help, but you never complained; you almost enjoyed his company a little too much at times.

You thought you had already seen the worst of it, but apparently you were wrong. You barely recognised the boy sitting in front of you now, face half swollen as he continues to pretend like he is perfectly fine.

"Doesn't it hurt, Jeno?" you crouch down in front of him, eyes focused on the red and blue bruises that adorned his skin.

Yeah, it had never been this bad before.

"I'm fine," Jeno breathes, though he winces when your fingertips run over a darkening bruise. You involuntarily mirror his reaction, clenching your jaw at his battered state. It killed you to see the boy you loved tear himself apart in such a brutal way. You wished you could tell him how much it hurts you to see him like this, but you thought it was perhaps better that Jeno wasn't made aware of your growing feelings for him—partly because of his long history with girls.

You weren’t naïve. You’d heard the rumors. About his temper. His past. His ties to people you were probably better off avoiding. But you’d always believed in making up your own mind.

And that’s how you ended up here—in the quiet of your apartment, nursing the wounds of a boy the world had already decided was too far gone.

"Don't worry about me,” he says, dark pupils flickering from your worried eyes to your pouted lips. You shiver under his curious gaze, fighting against your ever racing thoughts to keep your composure.

You curse quietly when he flinches at your touch again, an apology quickly slipping from your mouth. You don't know what came over you, but you suddenly felt a boost of confidence when you let your fingers trail over Jeno's skin, rubbing each and every mark softly.

Before you even know it, you find yourself kissing the bruises and cuts embellishing Jeno's face and neck, cautiously, so as to not worsen the pain he was already experiencing.

"It hurts now," he murmurs faintly, his eyes closed as he exhales deeply from his mouth.

"Where?" you ask, hand resting on his jaw as his half-opened eyes now pierce through yours. It's quiet for a moment, the tension in the air almost suffocating.

"Here," he whispers back just as your lips trace over the curve of his lips, "It hurts right here," he repeats again.

It doesn't take long before he closes the gap between you two, his mouth connecting with yours in a hurry.

[revehae]

see a cheerleader, breed a cheerleader

pairing ↠ """nerd!"""jeno x (f) cheerleader!reader

genre .. warnings ↠ smut, noncon, dubcon, oral (m receiving), male face sitting, face fucking, unprotected sex, blackmail, choking, hitting, virgin!reader

summary ↠ ever since forever, you have always gotten your way with people by whatever means necessary. a wink and a smile is all it takes to make a boy drop to your feet and worship you. no one told you to think that lee jeno would be any different. as it turns out, actions do have consequences.

wc ↠ 14.9k

a/n ↠ lowkey i think i subconsciously drew inspo from the fact that finals week made me consider both suicide and homicide. no jungwoo’s were hurt in the making of this fic. merry christmas! as always, feedback is appreciated!

don’t like it, don’t read.

  ▸ short, sweet, sometimes sticky

it was supposed to be like everybody else.

short, sweet, maybe sticky if you considered that one time you’d shaken that jisung boy’s sweat-coated hands and watched the pale of his face burn the same fierce rose as the lens he saw you through. 

you’d laughed lightheartedly to spare him the embarrassment, telling him that everybody got a little sweaty every now and then, especially you. after all, cheerleading was more than skipping around and twirling. and at those words, you’d watched his eyes haze with the image of you damp with sweat, drenched head to toe.

hook, line, and sinker.

far too easy, exactly how you liked them. smart, easy, and utterly unable to resist you.

no one told you to expect something different from lee jeno. and why would you? he knew all the right answers, had some of the best marks, and practically lived in the library. he perfectly fit the bill of your standard victim.

which was why you had no qualms about approaching him in the library while he was typing away at his laptop, occasionally sipping from some kind of coffee.

as if he could sense he was in imminent danger and needed to evacuate immediately, jeno turned around before you could even make it completely to the table and saw you advancing on him with a pretty, practiced smile. “hi,” you greeted, waving at him. falling, your hands gripped the rear of the chair beside him. “is someone sitting here?”

jeno raised a brow at you, but shook his head. “no, no one’s sitting there.”

“perfect,” you replied, pulling out the chair and taking a seat. you turned so that you were facing him. “jeno, right?”

jeno nodded slowly, wondering where this was going. he got plenty girls, sure, but none ever approached him in the library. “that’s me,” he said, curious. “do i know you?”

“well, probably not,” you replied, giggling as if something was funny. “but, you know… i’m a cheerleader.”

jeno hummed. “are you now?”

you bobbed your head expectantly. “yeah, and i’ve heard about how smart you are. i’m impressed, to be honest. i mean, every time i’m in the library, i see you sitting here. i could never spend so much time here. you must have a lot of resolve to do something like that.”

“you think so?” jeno asked, pretending to be flattered just to see where you were leading him. 

“i do. like, really do,” you replied, brushing your fingers against his forearm. “i just have so many other,” better, “things to do, you know. with cheer, i’m either practicing or resting so that i’ll have energy for practice. it’s really hard on me, you know?”

jeno stifled a chuckle and glanced back at his laptop screen. “you poor thing.”

your brows stitched. he wasn’t paying nearly enough attention to you. it was almost like he was uninterested. “and that’s why i was wondering if you could help me. i mean, you’re such a genius. you could probably do it in half the time it would take me,” you continued, lowering your hand onto his denim-clad thigh, and becoming surprised by how sturdy it felt.

jeno spared a fleeting glance at your hand on his left thigh before his eyes flitted to your face, watching you wink at him and throw him a smile. “let me get this straight,” he started, slowly caressing the back of your hand with his thumb as it sat on his thigh. “you want me to… do your work for you?”

“hey, your hard work wouldn’t go unrewarded,” you insisted, ignoring the unexpected motions of his thumb. “you’d have my attention. i mean, like i said, i don’t have a lot of time to give away. but i’m willing to spend some of it on you.”

jeno snickered, unable to help himself anymore. “are you this patronizing to everyone you meet?” he asked.

your eyes flickered. “p-patronizing?”

jeno smiled, patting your hand before setting it on your own thigh. “sorry, was that a big word for you? you know, when you think you’re too good for something, but you don’t want to say it, so you play sweet and act like you’re helping me, when really, it’s the other way around.”

switching on a dime, you narrowed your eyes at him. for such a pretty boy, he had quite the attitude. “i know what patronizing means. and right now, i think you’re the one being patronizing.”

“am i?” jeno asked, feigning obliviousness. “how’s it taste, cheerleader? doesn’t feel good, does it?”

your face was set in a scowl. sometimes it hurt you to play nice with people, and now was one of those times. “are you gonna help me or not?” you snapped.

“there it is,” jeno sang, chuckling to himself. he put his hand on your thigh now, squeezing the flesh gently. for now. “there’s the real you.”

you swallowed, glaring over at him with a hint of defiance despite the disgusting, foreign feeling rotting in your chest. it had never gone like this before. every situation predating this one had been somewhat predictable, to the point where you’d come to expect certain reactions. this was not that.

“i’ll help you,” jeno said after a pause.

you forced a smile. “great, so…”

jeno interjected, “on one condition.”

smile faltering, you trailed off, processing his words. now he was making some kind of deal with you? who in the hell did this man think he was?

“on one condition?” you echoed, as if you’d somehow misheard him. your brows scrunched in suspicion. “what condition?”

jeno grinned, the look on his face sly as hell and a stark contrast from the disgruntled glower on yours. “give me something in return,” was all he said, the tightening hold on your thigh giving away more than his words had.

you gawked, as if you were offended, and quickly swat at his hand. “i’m not having sex with you, you pervert!”

“sure, you’re not,” jeno answered with a chuckle, eyes twinkling with amusement. everything about you was alluring to him for mostly all the reasons unintended. “but you said i’d have your attention. i guess you think it’s not often a poor, busy nerd like myself gets anyone’s attention, yeah? but nerds get tired too, don’t they? they need to de-stress…”

“that’s not my problem,” you spat. 

“you getting an F isn’t my problem, either,” jeno retorted, shrugging his shoulders. “so what it’s gonna be, cheerleader?”

something about this situation isn’t right to you. maybe it’s the lack of power you currently wielded over him, despite the fact that you had gotten used to having your way with academically competent boys like himself. if he weren’t taller than you and stronger than you, you’d resort to other, more familiar methods.

but jeno had changed the entire trajectory of this interaction for the worse, and now you had to determine whether or not it was beneath you to let him treat you as if you were some kind of object. you sulkily mulled it over, arms folded, trying to think of a way to maintain some semblance of power. “fine,” you finally replied, relenting. “but i’m not doing anything that requires me taking my clothes off.”

“you never seen a good porno, cheerleader?” jeno asked, a stupid, taunting smile blemishing his lips. “that cute little uniform of yours is the whole appeal to some people.”

“my name is…,” you huffed irritably, tired of being referred to by your title. 

“frankly, cheerleader, i don’t care what your name is,” jeno told you with brutal honesty. “you’re the one that introduced yourself as a cheerleader, like that’s your whole personality or something. thinking it would make me fold. you can’t be stupid and demanding.”

you gaped, affronted by the sheer audacity of him to even utter those words to you, like you were some dumb bimbo. “i’m not stupid! i’m just too busy.”

“right. too busy,” jeno echoed, obviously none too convinced. “sorry for assuming.”

with a roll of your eyes, you stood up from the table chair, feeling utterly disrespected. “yeah, you should be,” you said, despite knowing his apology was completely inauthentic. “where’s your phone?”

jeno arched a brow and glanced over to his phone, sitting face down against the table on the other side of him. before he could even respond, you reached over him to grab it and pointed it at his face, unlocking it as if you’d done it a million times before.

then, you started typing away, all the while jeno watched you with an amused expression on his face. he had to admit, you were surely something. and though he found you entertaining, he couldn’t shake the thought that you desperately needed someone to put you in your place.

“reach me here,” you said after a moment, handing him his phone back. the screen was on his messages, a fresh contact with you.  “pleasure doing business with you.”

with that, you walked away. 

jeno shook his head, scoffing. who the hell did you think you were?

over the next few days or so, you met with jeno to better construct exactly what your expectations were pertaining to your work. or at least, those were the words he’d used. most of those limited encounters had ended with his hands sealing around your breasts.

you let it slide, deciding that a little over-the-clothes stuff was relatively harmless. after all, this was the busiest you’d been all year long, and you were far too exhausted when you got home to be burdened with stupid assignments and pesky discussion posts. the next two months, if not the next two weeks, were going to kill you if you didn’t have someone to carry at least half the workload on your behalf.

it was okay. jeno’s inability to keep his hands to himself was fine. it wasn’t like anybody was going to know, or that this arrangement would last long enough for them to find out. you would get to keep your dignity and your grades, without saving one at the expense of the other.

short, sweet, and sticky, remember? maybe the latter was simply manifesting in the way jeno’s hands were stuck to you. not that anything about him was sweet.

more like sacrifice.

  ▸ gilded age

���guess who just made the list of this week’s top ten trending sluts,” jennie said as she walked up beside you and roseanne.

roseanne perked up that, though she couldn’t help but mischievously quip, “you?”

jennie narrowed her eyes. “hoe, as if,” she spat. “i know how to keep my legs closed.”

you snickered. “god, what happened now?”

“a sex tape got leaked. hyeri, and apparently johnny.”

your nose scrunched, as if disgusted. “always knew she was a slut. i mean, you should have been there to see the way she acted around the jocks in high school. her eyes were practically screaming, ‘pick me, choose me, fuck me,’” you mocked.

roseanne burst into giggles, downing the rest of what was left in her red cup. “i don’t think that’s how that goes,” she chimed. “but johnny? is she crazy? i hope they didn’t do it raw. i heard rumors that he’s got the clap.” 

“he sure clapped something, alright,” jennie retorted, much to your amusement. “it was definitely raw. hope it was worth the itch. you guys wanna see?”

“absolutely not,” you said, shaking your head vigorously. “i bet her parents would love to see it, though. on second thought, send me it.”

roseanne gawked. “are you serious?”

you bobbed your head, grinning deviously. “yeah. you guys have no idea what that bitch was like in high school. i tried teaching her a lesson, but she just never learned. it’s like the bitch is addicted to pain or something.”

jennie shook her head, pretending to disapprove, though she was intrigued to see how far you would your obvious loathing. “just sent it.”

your phone vibrated in your hand a few seconds later. you opened your instagram burner account, scrolling through your main’s following to find hyeri’s mother’s page, and dropped the video in her inbox. your sly giggle alerted your friends to your success and you dropped your phone in your pocket, satisfied.

“oh, you’re sick,” jennie insulted playfully, nudging your arm. “i wonder if she’ll say anything.”

you shrugged your shoulders, feigning nonchalance as if you weren’t excited to see how her mother would respond. “don’t know, but i’m more curious about if she’ll talk to hyeri about it. i’d love to be a fly on the myung’s wall when that happens.”

roseanne tapped your shoulder. “hey, don’t look now, but that jeno guy is staring you.”

your head whirled around, spotting jeno in his own corner of the party, indeed watching your every move as if he wanted to consume you and was waiting for the perfect moment to attack. which, if he was, would not be surprising. 

roseanne sighed in annoyance. “i literally just said don’t look now.”

you turned back to face them, shaking your head. “don’t worry about that creep,” you replied, brushing it off. “he’s just begging to get in my pants. didn’t even know he went to parties.”

for whatever reason, jennie laughed. something about what you said tickled her, apparently. “um, yeah. that’s jeno for you, alright. he’s either partying with his friends or grinding in the library, no in between. perfectly balanced lifestyle, i have to admit it.”

your brows furrowed. that was news to you. and probably an important piece of information that you’d conveniently missed when narrowing down your targets. maybe you should have asked around about him more. you just didn’t think that someone who studied as hard as he did could also be the life of the party.

what was he doing here, anyway? shouldn’t he have been off doing your homework? useless fucking nerdy-not.

“do you guys know each other or something?” roseanne pressed, noticing the strange tension in the air despite the fact that you and jeno were feet apart. which was honestly admirable. “do you think you could get him to put me on with jungwoo?”

jennie’s laughter rang out again, only this time, it was much louder, and much more mocking. “please. jungwoo isn’t gonna touch any of us after how she broke his heart. you’d have better luck with jaehyun,” she sneered.

roseanne glared, a snarl on her face. “fuck jaehyun.”

“yeah, i bet you want to. i bet you’re still dreaming of that big, thick, meaty dick you wouldn’t shut up about, like, two months ago.”

“a lot can change in two months.”

“oh, it sure can,” jennie replied, humming. “it sure can.”

  ▸ takes two to tango

jeno: come over

you: no

jeno: that wasn’t a request 

you: no where in our agreement does it say you get to boss me around

jeno: not even for an A?

you: that’s what your grabby hands are for

jeno: i don’t have to do this, you know. i can let you be a grown up and fiend for yourself like the rest of us

you: i’m otw, chill. jesus

the knock of your fist against jeno’s door was incessant, more than likely enough to exasperate his neighbors, given that it was particularly late at night and a good number of them had to have been sleeping.

jeno threw the door open with a scowl, obviously irritated. “you are so fucking annoying,” he hissed, dragging you inside and shutting the door behind you. 

“ow!” you cried out, snatching your arm away. “stop that, i’m sore.”

jeno shook his head, his discontent frown disappearing in favor of an entertained, idiotic smile. “sore, huh? from doing what?”

you rolled your eyes. “if it isn’t obvious, i’m a cheerleader,” you reminded, gesturing down to your uniform. “meaning, i cheer.”

ignoring your snarky attitude, jeno glanced you up in down, taking in the sight of you in that tight, short cheer uniform that clung to you rather snugly. sweat still beaded at your damp legs and likely gathered between your breasts and down your back, as jeno was imagining. “yeah, you cheer. you won’t let me forget,” he said, amused.

“well, i’m busy,” you said, crossing your arms.

busy, my fucking ass, jeno thought to himself. “yeah, you won’t let me forget that, either. and yet, i saw you giggling with your friends at a party two weeks ago, looking completely fine. your poor, exhausted legs seemed to be working perfectly.”

“what, so i can’t have hobbies now?”

“sure, you can,” jeno replied, shrugging his shoulders. “i just have to ask, do you ever do anything productive with your time?”

“of course, i do,” you hissed, before quickly deflecting, “but we both know that’s not why you made me come all the way over here. so, what do you want?”

“your attention,” jeno said without missing a beat. his hands plopped against your bare shoulders and began wandering down your arms, rubbing them back and forth. “i’m in desperate need of a cheerleader’s sweet, precious attention.”

the disgruntled grimace on your face was the most effort you made to express your discomfort, not that he was looking there anyway. to him, at the moment, the sight of your body was much more appetizing. you watched with a repugnant burn simmering in your gaze as his eyes met your long, slender legs.

without warning, jeno grabbed you by your waist and hoisted you into the air, making you cry out in surprise. arms dangling around his neck, you held on for dear life, not an inch of your body feeling safe in his arms. you had been hauled further away from the ground by your cheermates, but this was different; no one wanted to fail, meaning no one would drop you. you had no reason to assume that jeno would handle you delicately.

but his burly arms, however, were not lost on you. though you hadn’t yet seen them in full power, your interactions mostly taking form of him forcing your back flush against the chiseled muscle of his chest as he kneaded yours, you could only imagine what the hands that groped you were capable of. 

in a matter of seconds, you landed on your back against his sheets, another shrill screech escaping your throat. “jeno, what the hell?” you exclaimed. 

“i’m not getting on my knees for you,” jeno said, the slyest of smiles tugging at his lips. “not unless it’s to fuck you. and you’re just too good to give it up, aren’t you?”

for him, definitely. and you would have said so, but your lips parted in a gasp, surprised and startled. something wet pushed along your sore legs, which were abruptly yanked to pillars far above your head so that they’d be more conveniently within reach of jeno’s tongue as he licked long, hot lines at them.

your eyes were rooted on him, fixed in a shape unlike their natural narrowed, black blaze and it would instead be more apt likening them to the fear and fret of a deer in crossed paths. wide, waiting, almost innocent. too used to circumstance to understand its fabric and too unfamiliar to chance to understand its fate.

unsatisfied, jeno bent your knee and pushed your leg further as he stood over the edge of his bed, and, in turn, over you, a grip on your ankles that you could feel in your bones. “jeno, that hurts,” you whined. 

jeno didn’t understand why you were bitching. “but you’re a cheerleader,” he echoed. “aren’t you flexible?”

you writhed uncomfortably as he continued shamelessly, tongue even daring to twist against the bone underneath the bend of your knee, a sensation that itched more than you expected. his lips sealed around your skin, sucking and nibbling.

needless to say, it was unlike anything you had experienced before. “stop, that’s weird!”

“stop complaining,” jeno groaned, pushing your leg even harder. “it’s like all you ever do is complain about how hard your life is.”

your eyes stung now not only with loathing, but the threat of hot tears. it was stupid; it sounded dramatic, but you felt it was warranted when he was the one actively making your life harder. “you’re a fucking weirdo,” you snapped. 

jeno heard it. the slight tremble in your voice despite the courage you’d been feigning. that was the sole reason he even bothered to look up at your face, the tears in them stealing his attention away in a heartbeat. he didn’t know whether to be amused or annoyed, or maybe even both. “god, now you’re crying,” he pointed out. “i haven’t even done anything to you. do you need me to give you a reason to cry?”

you shook your head. all you needed was to go home and recharge. you were beginning to doubt whether or not he was worth the trouble he carried with him in exchange for a grade that would keep your parents off your back, especially if he was going to make pulling stunts like this a regular habit. 

the last thing you expected jeno to do was tug the bottom of your top past the shadow of your breasts, slackening the taut grip on your ankles in favor of your wrists as if he knew you would dare resist him, and burying his face between your chest. you exhaled shakily, mortified by the hot, wet feel of his tongue licking a stripe between your breasts, gathering leftover sweat on its tip.

and you did thrash. but you were getting a taste of that power now; a power that wasn’t your own, a power that you couldn’t reap. a power that grabbed you with its calloused fist with a might so strong you couldn’t move. and it was for the first time that you felt utterly weak. there had to be a word for something as unfathomable as that, but it was so foreign to you that you couldn’t think of it.

to make matters worse, jeno was taking his time, sucking bruises onto the skin of your chest in between his licking, as if he wanted to ensure there was no spot left untouched, no drop of sweat left behind. your face strained with discomfort, wanting more than anything to get away from him and this awful feeling rotting inside of your heart.

maybe your cries for mercy were heard, because no sooner had you hoped for an end than it came. “you can go now,” jeno said, pulling away. he pulled your shirt back down and smoothed out any wrinkles, which was almost kind of him.

even though you were more than eager to be rid of him, you lay there, dumbfounded. it was one thing to be violated, and it was another to be dismissed, but to happen in rapid succession of each other quickly bred some ugly emotion that was only festering.

jeno had expected you to scurry out of his bed, and out of his apartment, so the fact that you were still there bemused him. “what, do you want more?” he teased. 

you shook your head, sitting up a little too quickly. your head started to feel lightheaded. you barked, “that isn’t what i agreed to!”

jeno had the audacity to laugh. like you had told a joke of some kind. “isn’t it? your clothes are still technically on. that was what you agreed to. remember?”

you dropped to your feet, pushing past him. “you’re disgusting,” was all you said, making a beeline for the door.

“takes two to tango, baby,” jeno called after you, simpering.

you didn’t look back. you couldn’t. there was an unpleasant stir in your gut - not as easily distinguishable as the loathing - unlike anything you had ever felt and you desperately wanted it to go away, to rid of yourself of anything that even remotely resembled lee jeno.

  ▸ chess, not checkers

deep, low grunts smacked against the walls and bounced back with almost the same amount of vigor of jeno’s quick, unrelenting hips, the sound nearly as hard and heavy as he was. the only thing rivaling the tightness of the hole he was using was the wince of his closed eyes and the grip of his strong hands.

jeno didn’t want to see. it would be too blatantly obvious that she wasn’t you, and that it wasn’t your blemished hips he was holding. though she sounded nothing like you. he knew that you would have been so much whinier, and despite finding them painfully obnoxious, he found himself longing to hear all your worthless, melodramatic complaints.

instead, he heard soft moans mingling with his own labored sounds as his hips moved with a mind of their own, imagining it was you underneath him where you truly belonged.

the image stained the back of his eyelids, burned behind them every time he closed his eyes; the shortness of your pleated skirt scrunched around your hips, weak legs on his broad shoulders with nicks and bruises scattered here and there, arms swinging aimlessly.

and if he got tired of hearing you, he could simply press his palm squarely against your mouth, muting the sound of your incessant fussing. if he really wanted to put you in your place, he could clasp his hands around your throat and clamp down onto your windpipe till all that escaped you was a pitiful, featherlight squeak.

jeno could tell no one had ever properly put you in your place before, no one had ever stood up to you and reminded you of your level. you were in desperate need of a humbling and didn’t even know it yourself. no one better than jeno for the role, he figured. a little cheerleader parading around in a uniform to feel different from everybody else she met didn’t scare him whatsoever.

the only thing saving you was essentially the fact that you were undeniably pretty and not necessarily to blame for the school’s superficial culture, which elevated girls like you in terms of status despite it having no real meaning or manifestations outside of campus, and put you on top when you were within the bubble.

but outside the bubble, away from the boys who thought of you as this beautiful, unattainable poison and the girls who enabled you with a faux sense of togetherness, you had no real identity, no real power, and no real worth.

and yet, maybe jeno was contributing to the problem. maybe he had inadvertently become one of the people elevating you. because choking in the heat of the moment, he uttered your name, forgetting who he was with and where he was.

hands shoved at him, hard. at least, hard enough for him to be jolted out of his reverie, finally gazing into the eyes that seethed because of him. “did you just call me that evil witch’s name?” seoa barked.

jeno winced. that was a fair reaction, all things considered. he wouldn’t have wanted to have been called your name out of everyone’s, either. he rubbed his nape. “well…”

“unbelievable,” seoa replied, scoffing. she got out of the bed and hurriedly began picking her clothes up from the floor, redressing herself.

jeno exhaled a breath, mostly annoyed that his orgasm had been ruined, but still feeling a hint of sympathy. “seoa, wait,” he said, touching her shoulder.

seoa recoiled, pulling away. jeno had never seen anyone be so ready to put on their pants after being with him, not even with a hell of a schedule after. “never touch me again,” she spat, walking out with her shoes in tow. “fuck you.”

jeno ran a hand through his hair, watching her leave, and murmured under his breath, “god dammit.”

a few days later, while they were attending a festival, jaemin marched over to jeno, draping an arm over his shoulder, and asked, “wanna tell me why seoa blocked all of us and she’s been glaring at me and mark since she got here?”

jeno snickered, shaking his head in slight disbelief. he was over it by now, he figured she would be too. “i let a certain cheerleader’s name slip while i was balls deep inside her,” he confessed. which he wasn’t necessarily proud of, considering the only reason he even knew your name was because you’d saved your own contact on his phone.

jaemin’s brows furrowed, glancing around as if he was trying to spot you in the crowd like a heat-seeking missle. “who?”

rolling his eyes, jeno grabbed the back of jaemin’s head with one hand and turned it in your general direction, hoping it would help. and jeno knew it had when jaemin’s confusion melted into disgust. 

“oh, that bitch?” he asked, nose wrinkled.

jeno chuckled, releasing his friend’s head. “she’s a bitch, but she’s pretty.”

jaemin couldn’t argue with that fact even if he’d wanted to. “yeah, i’ll give her that. cute in the face. she’s fake as hell, though. played jungwoo like a fiddle. he did six months worth of her homework because she promised they’d get together.”

that was news to jeno. he knew you were cruel, having had stories from jisung and the like, but he never knew of your history with jungwoo. if it could be called that. “did they fuck?” he couldn’t help but ask.

jaemin shook his head, taking a sip from the bottle in his hand before he answered, “he said she always turned him down. told him she was waiting for ‘the perfect moment.’”

now that was funny as hell. jeno had only known you for a few weeks and yet even he quickly pieced together that you weren’t the romantic type. “well, that’s fucked up,” he said, happily accepting yet another reason to dislike you. “but he’s dumb as fuck if he did her homework for six months without getting a crumb of pussy in return.”

jaemin made a face, nodding. “yeah,” he exhaled, giving the impression that he’d wanted to defend jungwoo. “but man, what possessed you to say her name while fucking the seoa? i need a good excuse. you just blew my shot with her.”

jeno shrugged. “don’t have one. she approached me maybe three weeks ago asking me to do her homework, and i agreed.”

jaemin gawked. that didn’t sound like jeno. like at all. “man, what? is she paying you?”

“oh, dividends,” jeno quipped.

“oh, and in what? pussy?”

“nope.”

jaemin looked horrified. he was so damn dramatic. “then, why the hell are you doing her bidding? that doesn’t sound like you.”

it didn’t, not immediately, but jeno had his reasons. “entertainment purposes,” he replied curtly.

jaemin shook his head, taking another swig of his drink. certainly, he was drinking, not smoking. “you’re becoming her pawn for entertainment purposes? unbelievable, bro.”

“chess, not checkers, jaem.” jeno smirked, putting a hand on jaemin’s shoulder. “you’ll see.”

▸ things good guys do 

“you’re lucky i was already out,” jeno told you when you let him into your apartment. “it’s the middle of the night for fuck’s sake. what do you want?”

“oh, please,” you spat, damn near rolling your eyes. your arms were folded. “you get to call me over at the ungodly hour, but when i do it, it’s a problem?”

jeno exhaled through his nose and ran a hand through his hair, wondering why he bothered to come here when he had no obligation to do your bidding, as jaemin had put it. but something told him that he wouldn’t have any regrets. “yeah, it is. now, what do you want?”

you were silent for a few moments, somewhat ashamed of the request you would ultimately make. you sighed, surrendering. “i need help with calculus,” you finally said.

jeno’s shoulders drooped, eyes shrinking in a contemptuous disbelief. “seriously?”

“seriously,” you repeated, sitting down on your couch as your laptop screen glared back at you from the coffee table.

jeno groaned, “i seriously don’t know how you even got into this school. can’t you do anything by yourself?”

you gawked, affronted. he made you sound like some incompetent, immature dickhead. “contrary to a weirdly popular belief, i’m actually really smart,” you insisted, having the transcripts to prove it. “but my professor sucks and i need an eighty-nine on my final to keep my A. and it’s not like you can walk in and take it for me because it’s proctored.”

jeno shook his head and reminded, “you know this little agreement we have doesn’t include me tutoring you, right?”

“it didn’t include you assaulting me, either,” you retorted.

“you think that was assault?” jeno asked, scoffing. he dropped beside you on your couch, the proximity instinctively making you suck in a breath. “if i wasn’t a good guy, i’d show you assault.”

scooting over to ensure maximum distance between your bodies, you argued, “good guys don’t call themselves good guys.”

“good guys have self-control,” jeno replied matter-of-factly, resisting a chuckle. he didn’t make a move to touch you, but he noticed how tense you looked now that he was sitting beside you. “i’ll tutor you, but we’ll have to up the terms of our agreement.”

you swallowed sharply, throat bobbing. you had a feeling you weren’t going to enjoy these new terms. “what do you want?”

“a blowjob.”

“that’s disgusting,” you spat without a second thought, features contorting with repugnance.

jeno quipped, “and so is your inability to do your school work without using and depending on every intelligent boy you meet, but hey, i’m sure you can’t help that.”

you sighed, exasperated, and cradled your face in your hands. was this seriously what your life had come to? giving a boy a blowjob in exchange for a pretty transcript?

jeno grinned, appreciating the sight of you in distress. it was a sign, a good sign, and he intended to bring it out of you more and more, bleeding you absolutely dry. lowering a hand onto your thigh, he urged, “come on, bruise those little knees for me. don’t you bruise ‘em for cheer?”

“that’s not the same!” you whined. 

“of course, it’s not,” jeno said, squeezing your thigh as his shoulders trembled with laughter. “cheer isn’t helping you graduate with flying colors.”

you desperately wanted him to be wrong, you were begging for him to be wrong, but you both knew that if he was, he wouldn’t have been here with you at the moment. not now, not three weeks ago, not ever. so you sucked it up, slamming down your laptop lid, and grumbled, “fine.”

maybe he didn’t come here for nothing, after all. grateful he’d trusted his gut, jeno stood up and clutched your arm to pull you along with him. “come on, let’s go to your room. i like my blowjobs a little messy and i’m sure you don’t want to mess up your nice carpet.”

you snatched your arm away from him, hating his insistence on touching you for every little reason whenever he possibly could, even if it was insignificant. your mouth was taut as you begrudgingly headed for your bedroom.

it was obvious that you were sour. walking behind you, jeno couldn’t help but chime, “glad to see that you can at least walk by yourself!”

you bristled in annoyance, wishing you could just get rid of him, but you knew it wouldn’t be wise to discard him so quickly. at least for now, he still held some kind of value.

jeno walked in behind you, looking particularly radiant, and you hated that you knew why. hell, you hated the reason itself. “get on your knees,” he commanded.

normally, you would complain about him giving you orders as if you were his lap dog or something, but you just wanted to get this over with. you were already so over this entire week. you slowly dropped to your knees, trying to ignore how demeaning it felt. 

“good girl,” jeno praised at your compliance. “now, look up at me with those pretty eyes and ask me to help you with calc. ask me nicely.”

you met his eyes, noticing the expectant glimmer in his gaze that you so badly wanted to knock off. but you weren’t dumb enough to incite violence against a grown man that walked around with his bulging muscles on display for all the world to see, and you didn’t doubt that he would hit you back. “jeno, please help me with calculus,” you pleaded, choosing your battles.

jeno hummed, satisfied. “you sound so pretty and sweet when you ask nicely, instead of demanding things. didn’t know you were capable of that,” he told you, running his fingers through your hair. “take it out. get me hard.”

your hands moved to his sweatpants, tugging at them enough to bring them down just shy of his knees, and doing the same with his underwear. he wasn’t hard yet, but that would be an easy fix; witnessing your state of pure anguish, watching you speak and move as if you were totally dejected, always excited him.

not to mention that the sight of you on your knees for him, the more he took it in, was arousing him even more than he thought it would. he had pictured it in his mind before, you serving him, pleasuring him, existing solely for him, but nothing could compare to the sight he beheld now.

at least, nothing other than you actually doing something rather than sitting there like an idiot. he liked taking control, but he figured you would take matters into your own hands, literally, when he gave the order. “do you need me to tell you what to do or something?” he asked, huffing irritably. “put your tongue on it. tease the head.”

your face and ears burned in ways they rarely did, but you nodded wordlessly and did as told, bracing your hands on his thighs and reluctantly pressing your tongue onto his tip, looking anywhere but his eyes as the muscle swirled around.

that amused jeno to no end. at least for now, he would let it slide, not feeling the need to maintain eye contact with you at the moment. if he needed to, he would simply just grab a nice, thick fistful of your hair and yank it back to jolt your head up at him. he could still see your pretty, bare face, hair arranged messily at the top of your head with a few needless strands jutting out here and there.

he liked that. of course, he would have been more than enthusiastic to have you suck him off if you’d been all dolled up, making you ruin your makeup and undo at least an hour of careful, clean work, but he also just took pleasure in seeing this natural, undone part of you. he wanted to see you for what you really were.

it didn’t take long for him to get hard. with all his thoughts revolving around you and the feel of your tongue on the head of his dick, that was a no-brainer. “good, now put it in your mouth. take as much as you can and not an inch less,” jeno instructed.

widening your mouth, you accepted his stout, heavy cock into your mouth, lips forming a tight suction around the head and steadily advancing down his shaft. bit by bit, inch by nightmarishly thick inch. you had made it maybe halfway down his shaft when you quickly discovered your limit.

jeno was surprisingly content, despite the fact that you definitely still had a few more inches to go. “there you go,” he said, giving your head a soft pat of approval. “suck. go slow. and don’t you dare let me feel any teeth.” 

your heart was thumping out of something you could only understand as fear, even though jeno hadn’t done anything to warrant it yet. inhaling through your nose, you tried to level your breathing, taking your time to draw in his cock lest you made a mistake. the hint of warning in jeno’s voice, in spite of the calmness, was clear.

jeno, on the other hand, was reaching elysian heights. faint grunts of, “fuck,” escaped his pink lips, large hands at his sides reflexively tensing into tightly clenched fists in need of something to grab, hips just barely stuttering. your mouth was hot and wet, with the added benefit of your torturous tongue pressed against his size.

there was a pinch of desperacy in your actions that overcame the resistance; a desperacy not necessarily to please him, but to appease him. accidents were the last thing you could afford and eliciting his frustration was the last thing you wanted.

“lick,” jeno said, chest undulating. “up and down.”

with a hum, you started drawing long, wet lines back and forth on his veiny shaft, almost as if you were tracing the bold veins with your tongue. jeno’s reaction was instantaneous, deep groans the only thing you could hear other than the wet sound of your mouth on his cock, sucking and licking. 

jeno’s eyes fluttered closed. “fuck. yeah, like that.”

you pressed your tongue against the underside of his dick, lingering in each spot for a moment before you continued, mostly because he seemed to like it when you did. which was your north star in an empty, dead night, because you had not a clue what the hell you were doing and you were afraid of making it obvious somehow.

if jeno could tell, he didn’t make it known. he was in a world of his own, all too happily reaping the pleasure from your mouth as if it was a dream come true for him. “kiss my balls. lick it.”

you stifled the sigh you were half tempted to let loose, pulling off his cock with a wet sound and a string of saliva connecting from the sticky tip to your glossy lips. moving your head, you took a moment to steel yourself before peppering tiny, soft kisses along his balls, down to his scrotum.

it wasn’t the most dignifying thing you had ever done, it may have even been the least, but your aching, sore jaw appreciated the break from sucking. you dragged your tongue over his testicles, tasting nothing but rubbery flesh. you were too busy avoiding his eyes to notice, but his face was tensing with pleasure, lips parting in low murmurs.

compared to when you first started, jeno was drastically harder now, massive, monstrous cock nearly bursting at the veins with precum leaking out from the thick tip. had your goal been to take all of him entirely, the sheer size of him would have immediately overwhelmed you.

“switch to your hand and go back to sucking me off,” jeno said, firm yet quiet. it sounded like he was trying to restrain himself, barely holding it together.

at least you were a fast learner. teasing the head of his cock, you gave it a few slow, tentative licks before you began to take him into your mouth again, all the while gently fondling his balls with your fingers. jeno groaned, arching into your touch. he couldn’t help himself.

you could taste the vicious amount of precum staining your tongue and you didn’t know how to describe it, other than slightly tart. the flavor blended with that of your own saliva, lingering on the roof of your mouth and the warm flesh underneath the flap of your tongue, mild as could be.

at least it wasn’t downright awful. you had heard stories before, not that you’d ever known what to make of them, or even pictured yourself being inside of them. if a month ago, someone had told you that you’d be on your knees for a man - for anyone - you would have said they were delusional.

jeno’s patience had worn thin and when you least expected it, he hauled you into the air, making you cry out in surprise just as you had the first time he’d lifted you into his buff, meaty arms. he tossed you onto the bed, just shy of the headboard, and suddenly straddled your chest. you gasped out a breath.

“open up,” jeno said, cock positioned right in front of your mouth.

not that he gave you the time to obey him, because he pressed himself against your slightly parted lips and forced them wider, entering your mouth on his own. your face strained, perfectly threaded brows tugging down into a discontented arch.

when you tried to pull away, jeno grabbed the sides of your face and pushed you onto his shaft with trembling hands, making you take him and leaving no room for escape, not until he decided he was done with you. there was only one concern present in his mind and that was getting himself off.

tears stung your eyes, that same implacable feeling you had when he’d dragged his tongue over the expanse of your soft, shaved legs and bare, sweaty chest finding you again in the most of unwanted company. jeno scoffed, spitefully tugging at your hair. “you know what’s funny? you’re such a fucking crybaby. you can’t take even half of what you give to others.”

chin flush against his scrotum and your nose not even an inch away from his bush, you almost gagged. the slurping sounds were humiliating, loud, wet squelching with every other big gulp making you want to shrink. however, jeno loved it, obsessing over the idea of making a mess out of you. the sound went straight to his dick.

jeno held your face in that low position, deeper than you’d ever taken him so far. “i’m really not that bad of a guy, you know,” jeno said, sounding like he truly believed it. you could have scoffed, if not for obvious reasons. “you just bring it out of me. i’m really just treating you like how you treat everybody else.”

he made you sound like something straight out of hell and you couldn’t help but think it was an unfair justification for something that felt too close to punishment. he obviously thought he knew you better than he did and it made you aggravated. that, or he somehow thought he was better than you.

there was a fleeting second of relief when jeno unmounted your chest and let you breathe, only to be crushed again when he dragged you by your wrists to the edge of your mattress, leaving you in the deep end. your eyes struggled to grasp with the flipped image of him nearing you, cock back down your throat before you could even blink.

though his hips thankfully had been moving at a calmer, steady pace before, despite forcing himself deeper than you could handle, he began to thrust more urgently into your mouth with the new change, embedding himself even further into your throat than you knew was possible. 

you cried harder, hating every second of it. the salty, bitter tang of your tears mingled with the tainted taste of spit and sharp bite of precum that had come to stain your chin and cupid’s bow. the vigor of his movements was overwhelming, overpowering.

“that’s it, cheerleader. cry harder,” jeno taunted, tracing his thumb over your face to swipe at the trail of tears. all the while his hips were moving faster, harder.

it felt like such a mockery, him doing that. a feigned act of sympathy while perpetuating the torment that was reducing you to tears as a selfish means of achieving pleasure of his own. 

then, his hands wandered down to your breasts, slipping inside your night shirt and mauling your chest. running his hands in a circle, his thumb brushed the erect, colored nipples and he clasped his hands around your chest, squeezing your breasts. “fuck, i’m close,” he grunted, grip tightening, pace hastening, force increasing. 

with how close he was, your nose was squarely against his the flesh of his balls, effectively cutting off your exhale. your heart thudded, racing and pounding. tensing with panic, your hands frantically moved, striking at his navel and thighs. even your legs were in alarm, unstill towards the other end of the bed. 

jeno groaned, smacking your cheek. another slap followed the sizzle, straight against your chest. “calm the fuck down,” he hissed, raising his arm in preparation to hit you again. “i’ll let you breathe as soon as i come, so you better not get in the way, if you know what’s good for you.”

even if you wanted to, you couldn’t stay calm. your body physically couldn’t handle it, responding the only way it knew how, trying to protect you. somebody had to. you closed your eyes, face warm with tears and panic, and you tried to brace your hands on the sheets, anything to comfort and stabilize yourself.

it got to a point where jeno couldn’t hold back anymore and he climaxed with a prolonged, guttural groan, hips still brutally smacking into your mouth as he painted your tongue and the back of your throat with his cum. he went as far as to grab your head again, forcing himself onto you as deep as he could go, and demanding, “swallow it.”

like hell you would. you pushed him away, coughing and choking as soon as you did, drops of cum pooling from your mouth and some of it flying here and there in the midst of your coughing fit.

irritated, jeno pressed his tongue against the roof his mouth. “you’re so fucking useless,” he groaned, grabbing his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants and quickly turning on the camera. “look at you. sitting here choking on my cum. you want it again, don’t you?”

you sat up, nearly tumbling over the edge of your bed from the intense convulsing, and turned to face the other way as you hunched over, tightly clasping your sheets. “fuck off, you got what you wanted!” you rasped.

jeno laughed. you sounded so gravelly. “you’re right. i did,” he replied, putting back on his pants and pocketing his phone. “so, tutoring. i’ll see you tomorrow. nighty night, cheerleader.”

he gave you a pat on the head and turned, heading straight for the door.

▸ hard feelings

something about today was different than usual. 

when you woke up, you had felt a shift in the air, but you’d chalked it up to being nervous about the final you had in three hours.

but when you finally went to go take it, however, you quickly realized that the unsettling feeling you had was not simply pre-exam jitters. it was something much more sinister than that. with the status you held on campus, you were used to being watched and gawked at, but this was different.

it felt like everybody and their mother was looking at you.

you were confused. you had been the subject of this much attention before, but only once; it was a couple years back when someone had spread a dirty, foul rumor about you. there was a social media page for your school called top ten, mostly used to shame women for their sexual exploits, but some men made their way on it too. that was how you heard about johnny’s clap rumor.

long story short, a rumor about you had originated there and it had taken you weeks to clear your name. but by that time, there was already another slut of the week. you were lucky to have your situation not only be false and debunked, but word of mouth. only the most unlucky of people, like hyeri, got images or videos of themselves posted.

and you were a community favorite. you would understand if you were new, but you had built a reputation around here. why would anybody believe floating rumors about you now?

but the abundance of stares didn’t end there. even in the cafe, you had caught someone watching you a little too hard to be a casual leer of admiration. and you were determined to find out why.

fortunately, you were able to find jennie and roseanne walking and talking in the courtyard, and you called out their names to stop them.

jennie turned first, and you watched her smile drop in real time. she glanced around, frantic, as if she was worried about someone watching her too.

roseanne smiled thinly, halfheartedly lifting her hand to wave. “hey,” she greeted quietly, matching jennie’s nerves.

they knew something you didn’t and it was glaringly obvious. “what’s going on?” you asked. “everyone’s looking at me and i know i’m not going crazy yet.”

jennie and roseanne glanced between each other, as if they both had bad news but neither of them wanted to be the one to tell you. after a few seconds, jennie groaned and said, “you might want to check top ten.”

your brows furrowed. you, on top ten? again? god, people could be so infuriating. “ugh, what rumor did they spread about me this time?”

jennie winced, which only made you more anxious. “it’s not just a rumor,” she whispered. “…it’s a video.”

“video?” you echoed in disbelief. that didn’t make sense. you hadn’t been with anyone except…except jeno. you tensed with anger.

roseanne opened her phone to show you the video that had been posted. it was an anonymous submission that claimed to be a recording of you. unfortunately, it was you, bits of your chest exposed from jeno reaching into your shirt and drops of cum landing there as you fought for breath. your face wasn’t visible, but there were some other distinguishing signs, like your hair and skin and sheets.

your heart thudded and your shoulders went cold, but your eyes were scalding. you were well aware that jeno didn’t like you, you didn’t exactly love him either, but you never thought he would stoop low enough to hurt you like this.

“i’m sorry,” roseanne apologized, dropping her phone in her purse when you were done. the video was only a few seconds long, but the damage was forever. “but don’t worry. it’s not like it’s top three worthy. everyone will move on next week.”

jennie nodded in agreement and briefly patted your back. “yeah. we’ll hang out again when this all blows over, i promise.”

then, they walked away. leaving you reeling with ache and betrayal. your friends didn’t want to be seen with you anymore. you were an embarrassment.

you swallowed the bitter feeling scorching up your throat and tapped your pockets for your phone, knowing there was one person you needed to see. 

you: you and i need to talk. right now.

jeno: about what?

you: don’t play dumb, i know you sent that video in!

jeno: maybe u should have swallowed

you: you know what, i don’t need you. i never have. and i don’t want your help anymore. just leave me alone

jeno: [one attachment]

jeno: you sure about that? because i’m sure there’s plenty of people that would love to see the version with your face in it

you gawked, hiding your phone screen against your chest while glancing around to make sure no one could see.

adjusting your brightness, you unlocked your phone again and texted him back hurriedly.

you: why are you doing this?! i’ve never done anything to you

jeno: this is bigger than just you and me

jeno: now if you don’t want everyone to see that pretty face, come put those lips around me again and we can work something out

and that was how it started. though you hadn’t had the upper hand in weeks, this was the moment you completely lost it. what was once an arrangement for him to help you in exchange for your attention became a hole of misery that you couldn’t dig yourself out of.

one blowjob became two, and two became three until you started to immediately recognize what it meant when you saw his name appear on your screen, knowing what it was before he even asked. not that he ever technically asked. it was always a command, a claim to your body wherever and whenever he wanted.

if you tried to be strong, if you tried to break free of him, he always threatened to make sure that recordings of you on your knees for him went up for all the world to see and no one would ever think of you the same way again. he was more than willing to taint the pretty, perfect image of yourself that you presented to the world.

you felt stuck, trapped. isolated with nowhere to go, no way out. you tried to conjure up a way to escape this situation, but you couldn’t think of anything feasible. if you wanted to protect what was left of your social life and dignity, if you wanted to go outside without being ashamed, your only option was to be compliant.

no matter how many late nights and sore throats you had to go through.

you were in the middle of dozing off, your head leaning off to the side, when the sound of your phone ringing suddenly jolted you awake. you were tempted to ignore it until you saw the contact and begrudgingly pressed the phone to your ear. “hello?” you grumbled.

“i’ve been texting you,” jeno said, sounding miffed.

you sighed, glancing over at the clock on your nightstand. “it’s literally two in the morning,” you complained. “i just got home from cheer practice and i’m trying to study for my last final. i haven’t even showered yet.”

“aw, poor thing,” jeno crooned, pretending to care. “come over.”

you heartless, selfish bastard, you snapped in your head. of course, you were in no place to say that out loud, so you settled for a calm, “okay,” and hung up.

stifling a yawn, you grabbed your keys and lazily stepped into a nearby pair of shoes, stretching your arms above your head before willing yourself to get up from your desk chair. then, you accidentally scraped your leg against the bottom drawer of your desk, which you’d accidentally left open. 

“ow!” you cried out, bending down a little. “god, why does this world hate me? what did i do wrong?”

it was a wonder you managed to make it to jeno’s apartment without getting into a wreck, although at this point, you wouldn’t care if you had as long as it killed you. or put you into an indefinite coma.

on the other hand, jeno seemed strangely enthusiastic to see you and looked full of life and energy. “there you are, cheerleader,” he said, pulling you in to hug you from behind. he led you over to his couch, much like he always did. 

you covered your mouth with your elbow as you yawned. “can we get this over with? i’m sleepy.”

jeno chuckled. “i don’t want you to suck me off. not right now.”

your brows furrowed, wondering if you had heard him right. if not for that, then why were the hell were you here?

“i’m sad,” jeno said, not even attempting to keep the smug smile off his face. “i need you to cheer me up.”

you blinked at him like he was stupid. “cheer… you up?”

jeno nodded his head, glancing you over with a grin. you looked like hell. partly because you were so obviously exhausted, but he knew he’d been having an effect on you too. “yeah, cheer me up. you’re a cheerleader,” he reminded, sounding proud of himself. “i want you to do your routine for me.”

you gawked in disbelief and whined, “i’m not even in my uniform.”

“so?” jeno asked. “those bones might be tired, but they still work. matter of fact, take everything off.”

you were quick to exclaim, “what the hell? jeno, can i please just do it later? everything hurts.”

“take everything off,” jeno repeated, his voice more stern this time. “and move your ass.”

defeated, you reluctantly began to peel off your clothes, ignoring the way jeno shamelessly ogled you for the sake of your own comfort and tugging your shirt from above your head. you couldn’t even look at him as you abashedly stepped out of your shorts and panties.

what was even more mortifying was having to perform every stupid little routine for him with your entire body on display and your chest bouncing with every motion. putting on the sweet, forced smile and calling out the chants you’d memorized, all the while ignoring how your bones ached.

when you were done, he made you sit in his lap so he could touch you as he pleased, paying no mind to the way you squirmed uncomfortably.

you cried enough tears to occupy a sixth ocean the next day. you weren’t exactly sure why. you just remembered miraculously waking up in your bed, sitting up and staring into empty space, and the water crashing down after a few minutes. it took you even longer to notice you were sobbing.

after a couple of meaningless hours, you got the random urge to call your moan, yearning to hear her voice. “mommy?” you said when she picked up.

“she calls,” your mother chirped, pleasantly surprised. “hi, baby. i was starting to wonder if you’d forgotten about little ole’ me. you know, you never come see me anymore.”

you forced yourself to laugh, trying to strip your voice of the agony so that she wouldn’t notice. “i know. i’m sorry,” you apologized quietly. “i’ll come see you soon.”

“you better,” your mother snapped playfully, no real malice in her voice. “now, what’d you call me for? and don’t say just to check up on me, because that’s a damn lie.”

“i miss you,” you confessed. 

“a lie don’t care who tell it.”

“ma,” you groaned, knowing she was just messing around. “i swear i do.”

“mm-hm,” your mother hummed. you could already picture her in your head, eyeing you with suspicion, arms folded over her chest. “let me guess why you really called. you’re having boy trouble.”

your eyes flickered in surprise. how did she know? you doubted it was exactly what she was thinking, but she was close enough. “yeah, something like that.”

there was no doubt that your mother sounded excited. you had always seem thoroughly uninterested in boys and dating, and while she was thankful when you were a teenager, it was a little worrying now. “it’s about time,” she said, clasping her hands together. “tell me all about it.”

you sighed, wondering how you could tell her about jeno without making her fret. she had gotten all pumped, you didn’t want to tear her down and ruin everything. “well, there’s this guy i met almost two months ago. at first, i didn’t feel anything for him. he was just another boy, you know. someone i could keep around for a good time, not a long one.”

your mother hummed again. you could hear metal pans clacking against her counter and assumed she was cooking. she always did that. 

taking a deep breath, you continued, “but everything changed. he’s different from every other guy i’ve dealt with. he doesn’t just do what i say because i say so. and as the weeks passed, he’s started listening to me less and less than he already was.”

your mother chuckled. “and you didn’t like that, huh? got your mother’s stubborn heart and indomitable spirit.”

in truth, you didn’t think you had half of your mother’s strength, but you would never tell her that. as far as she knew, everything was going perfectly in the life you’d created here on campus. and it probably was the last time you’d spoken to her. “yeah,” you replied, wishing that were true. “i don’t like it. he makes me feel something i’ve never felt before.”

“he makes you feel powerless,” your mother told you. “he’s got you feeling weak because he’s the first man you’ve ever met willing to stand up to you. trust me, i was surprised the first time too. that’s how you got here.”

“ma,” you groaned with a wince.

she laughed. the sound made you happy, something you hadn’t been so certain you were capable of feeling anymore. “i’m just keeping it real.”

you thought about her words. she may have been way off in her perception of what this relationship between you and jeno really was, but she wasn’t wrong about how he made you feel. weak, powerless. suddenly, this consuming feeling you’d been having for weeks finally had a name, and yet that made it even harder to come to terms with.

because you didn’t want to be powerless. you wanted to be in charge, in control. you hated when things didn’t go your way, and more importantly, you hated when there was nothing you could do about it. it was supposed to be you wielding power over people’s head, not being crushed beneath the weight of tyranny.

and it was then you fully realized the scope of your feelings; you absolutely hated lee jeno.

▸ cheerleader? breed her! 

standing there in a skimpy dress, face done and your feet clamped in heels that made you four inches taller, you didn’t feel like yourself.

you thought that you would. in truth, you hadn’t feel like yourself in months. today marked a little over two months since you made the mistake of beginning that agreement with jeno and you regretted it more than anything. he had completely ruined you, your life, and everything that made you feel whole.

there were pieces of yourself that you would never get back, thanks to him. it was true that everyone had forgotten about the ordeal regarding the recording of you, but not without cost. it was a price you were still paying everyday; even when you weren’t on your knees or otherwise commiting demeaning acts for the sake of jeno’s entertainment, you were hurting and mourning yourself.

you were starting to wonder if it was worth it. obviously, you liked being respected amongst your fellow students, but you were no longer certain if their respect was worth the price of your sanity. it was hard for you to even have basic interactions without giving away how incredibly lonely and isolated you felt, how trapped and doomed you were. helpless and powerless.

jeno came up behind you, startling you. he was like a wolf and you were a little lamb masquerading as a wolf. “there you are, baby,” he said, snaking his hands around your waist. he seemed to love doing that. “did you know our anniversary was a few days ago?”

you scoffed. the two-month anniversary of the worst decision of your life to date. there was nothing you would’ve give to undo it. doing your homework yourself would have spared you so much unnecessary pain. “stop doing that,” you whined, scanning the party. “someone will see.”

jeno chuckled, clearly not giving a damn. “unlike someone, i don’t really care what people think about me.”

you wished you didn’t care. there would always be a part of you that cared, that was so afraid of what people could say about her that she would do anything to tailor her image perfectly. matter of fact, it was all you had cared about in high school, and every year after that was spent maintaining the brand.

jeno’s hand went from your waist to your ass, making you tense in his grasp. “you know, i think i deserve some kind of compensation for putting up with you for two months.”

you deserved that too. freedom. being unshackled from his cruel, unrelenting orders was the one thing you wanted most and the one thing he refused to give you. “don’t you have your compensation almost every day?” you asked irritably.

“that’s not nearly enough,” jeno insisted, squeezing your ass.

god, how greedy could someone be? it was like he wanted to bleed you dry until there was nothing left.

“you know what i want?” jeno asked huskily, leaning into your ear. “i wanna fuck you.”

your eyes widened a little. you had hoped this day would never come, even though you weren’t oblivious to the fact that jeno had steadily gotten bolder in his interactions with you, the things he made you do for his satisfaction becoming entirely more erotic. 

grabbing your arm, jeno started to lead you away. “come on, let’s go.”

you rooted in place, nearly stumbling. you didn’t want to go anywhere with him, especially if it meant putting up with his insatiable urges. “jeno, i don’t want to,” you said, trying to push at him.

jeno scoffed, wondering when you would realize that he didn’t care what you wanted and you had no way of winning. “if you want to make a scene in front of all these lovely people, be my guest,” he hissed in your ear.

panicked, you glanced around the crowd in search of someone that could save you. it was like everybody was looking at you until you actually needed them to. 

then, you locked eyes with jungwoo. matter of fact, it seemed like he’d been looking at you much before you’d even glanced in his general direction. he saw you, saw the way jeno was holding you roughly, saw the obvious stiffness on your face, saw the pleading look in your eyes; but ultimately, jungwoo saw the image of you letting him down after bleeding him dry for half a year, and he turned away.

your shoulders slumped in defeat.

jeno started dragging you toward the stairs, pushing past a bunch of drunk people dancing on each other. your heart was thumping, and your whole body was rigid with nerves as you tried to think of a way out of this even though you knew there was no option without consequences.

just your luck, the bathroom jeno hauled you too was empty. he pushed you in and locked the door, pressing you against the counter. you gasped and glanced at your reflection in the mirror, hardly recognizing yourself. “jeno, please,” you whispered, trying to plead with him. “please, don’t do this.”

jeno didn’t seem moved by your begging, but he did, however, appear amused. “why are you acting so sensitive about this after all we’ve done together? it’s like you’ve never gotten fucked or something.”

you swallowed, not saying a word. 

the silence was very loud, very telling. jeno arched a brow, a realization dawning on him. “you really have never been fucked,” he said, surprised. “damn, i should have figured that out when you were acting like you never sucked dick before.”

your face flushed with heat. it wasn’t like you were necessarily embarrassed about it, not until now. you had always taken it as something to pride yourself on, being fuckable but untouchable. “you say that like it’s a bad thing,” you replied, glancing down at the sink to avoid eye contact.

jeno chuckled. it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but he had been convinced that you were completely pretending to be a goody two-shoes. to know there was at least one percent of you that was still pure amazed him. he lifted the skirt of your dress with his hand and brought it between your legs, asking, “what, you just never find anyone worthy enough for your perfect, sacred pussy?”

you gasped out when he touched you there. his fingers circled your clothed cunt, thumb digging into your inner thigh. feeling scandalized, you grumbled, “maybe i’m just not interested.”

jeno shook his head, astonished by the amount of attitude you still had after all these months and determined to break it out of you. “and maybe i just don’t care if you’re interested or not.”

it went without saying that jeno always made you feel like some kind of object, but this was next level. “this is dehumanizing!” you exclaimed. 

hearing you, of all people, talk about dehumanizing made for an interesting conversation. big, calloused hand pressing harder into you, he asked tauntingly, “doesn’t feel good, does it?”

your glossy, painted lips were parted, unable to breathe through your nose. your eyes burned with the threat of tears and it was becoming second nature for them to shed whenever jeno was nearby. “i don’t understand,” you whimpered, trying to free yourself, but to no avail. “why are you doing this to me? what have i ever done to deserve this?”

jeno could feel you struggling, trying to push him off you, but all it did was move your hips against his rapidly hardening cock. he groaned, grabbing hold of your ass and pushing you further back against him. “fuck, just like that,” he growled. “haven’t i told you this already? this is bigger than you and me.”

it wasn’t lost on you that jeno obviously had heard stories about you from other people, stories of happenings you probably couldn’t deny, but it had nothing to do with him. “look, if you’re doing all this to get back at me because i hurt one of your friends or something, i’m sorry, i really am. but i can’t do this anymore, jeno. i want to stop, please. please let me go on with my life.”

“what a privileged response,” jeno hissed without concealing his vitriol. at the same time, he kept palming you over your panties, noticing them beginning to cling to your cunt, and tore your underwear to the side to insert a pair of fingers inside. “what about all those girls whose lives you ruined? i’m sure they wanted you to stop. and you didn’t until they were too humiliated to show their faces around here again and you had no choice.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat. he knew about the girls? “jeno, i haven’t done that since freshman year,” you told him, desperately trying to reason with him.

two loud, harsh smacks echoed in the tiny, crowded space of the bathroom, followed by a gasp consequently. your pussy stung, your head jerking around to look at jeno. “do you really think that matters?” he asked, grabbing your hair to turn you back around just as quickly, as if you didn’t deserve to look at him. “you think that matters when the pain you’ve done to them is permanent? they don’t forget. and they damn sure don’t forgive you.”

you tensed, hating the way your walls were gripping and gushing around his fingers. “so what? you think you’re god or something? is this you punishing me for my sins? you’re not exactly what i would call a saint, either.”

“me and you, we’re not the same,” jeno remarked, a nip to his tone as if you needed the reminder of how much he disliked you. “you only pick on people that you think are below you somehow. people you think won’t fight back.”

“i know i’m not a good person,” you admitted in between gasps, thighs straining as his fingers pumped into your pussy harder, faster, reaching places you’d never touched on your own. “ i know i don’t deserve to be happy. maybe i don’t even deserve to be treated with respect, but please leave me this one thing. spare me just this once.”

jeno laughed cruelly, pulling his fingers out of your drenched hole and smearing your juices all over your folds and thighs. his finger unintentionally swiped over your sensitive clit, making your legs quiver and your stomach tighten, sucking in itself.

“damn, baby. you really know how to hurt my feelings,” jeno said, voice dripping with sarcasm. he withdrew his fingers, bringing them into his mouth for a taste. “you don’t want me to fuck you that bad?”

your heart was spiking with dread, thumping belligerently in your chest, your ears, and between your legs. no one had ever made you feel so vanquished.

“take my dick out,” jeno said, his tone leaving no room for argument. “hurry up.”

you sighed anguishedly, turning around to undo his pants and slip his aching dick out of its confinements. for months, jeno had been suppressing the urge to fuck you, wanting to wait for the moment where it would be most pivotal.

getting a hold of your throat, jeno roughly yanked you flush against him the second you whirled back around to face the tiny bathroom counter, making you stand tall against his chest. his voice was almost as rough as the hands that held you. “put it in.”

you gawked, shaking your head.

his fingers tightened dangerously around your windpipe, making your damp eyes widen and your jaw slack against his whitening knuckles, maybe half a wheeze making its way out your throat before he warned, “if i have to fucking tell you again, i’m gonna crush every bone in your goddamn neck.”

with no other option, you meekly reached behind you to grasp him in your quivering hand, aimlessly steering him to your hole and sinking your teeth into your bottom lip as the tip brushed past your dripping folds. jeno released a shaky breath, slapping your hand away and rutting his hips into you from behind, sheathing himself inside in one go.

he slackened his unforgiving grip on your throat, shoving you back against the counter none too gently, but you still felt like you couldn’t breathe when he entered you, a mangled whimper echoing out. your fingers desperately braced the edges of the counter for purchase as you tried to will yourself to inhale, but it was like you were choking.

jeno had a death grip on your thighs, forcibly pushing them apart a little more as he coated himself with the creamy, hot wetness of your unwanted arousal. “mm, hard to believe you don’t secretly want me when you’re sucking me in like this, baby,” he said, proud.

you shook your head in denial, face flushing with a heat that spread to your ears and neck. it didn’t help that there were beads of salty, hot tears pouring down your face and reducing your vision to one big, hazy blur. you didn’t want him, not even a little bit. but you couldn’t control the way your body was responding.

the lewd, wet smack of his cock thrusting deeply into your tight cunt rang out so loudly that you wanted nothing more than to hide into oblivion and never be seen again, mortified. it made things seem so much different than they were. his long, thick cock was stretching you beyond the cusp your limits and making you gape.

“i’m so nice to you,” jeno said, tipping his head back. you could see his chest rising and falling through his clothes, his body taut with pleasure and excitement. “i’ve been holding back for so long, trying not to fuck you. won’t keep me out this pussy now. i’m gonna fuck you till your legs give out. have you at practice limping.”

your knees, wobbly as they already were, began knocking into the cabinets at the bottom of the sink. you winced your eyes closed as your fingers curled around the edge of the counter roughly enough to change the color around your knuckles, hoping to think of something, anything, to take you out of the moment.

but it was too hard. you couldn’t ignore the throb of your gushing walls as they kneaded his cock, making him grunt in your ear as he leaned over your backside. you couldn’t ignore the faint sting of his nails stabbing your hips and his heavy palm slapping repeatedly against your ass. and you definitely couldn’t ignore the dirtiness staining you from head to toe.

sure, it felt good, his body rocking against yours steadily, but it didn’t feel right. many nights you had pictured what losing your virginity would be like, both the way that it was supposed to look and the way that you were more inclined to, but this was neither; it was heartless, it was punishing, and it was brutal.

jeno grabbed you by your hair and forced you to look into the mirror, yanking your head up. “there it is,” he spat, words sounding painfully familiar. “there’s the real you.”

your hair was messy from him tugging it every which way, treating you like a doll to mishandle. your makeup was ruined from your sobbing, the path of your tears harsh against everything else. your eyes were red and your right lash looked like it was barely holding on, the effect of rubbing at your face.

jeno watched you take in the destroyed sight of yourself, practically hearing the critical thoughts hopping in your mind. “this is what you really are. this is what you’re sucking my dick to keep hidden from the world. is it worth it, baby? or do you just like the way i taste on your tongue?”

no, it wasn’t worth it. you were beginning to understand that now. he was taking too much from you, too much of your peace and too much of your sanity. maybe it would be better to be judged and lonely but free than to be loved by people whose opinion of you could change on a dime anyway at the expense of your soul. 

your pride had been buried a long time ago, brutally murdered in her sleep. “jeno, please stop. i’m uncomfortable,” you complained, tearing your eyes away from your reflection in shame.

jeno smacked your ass again, making you cry out sharply. “you just love being the victim when it’s convenient for you, huh?”

“i’m sorry!” you whimpered. “i don’t know what you want me to do. what do you want? just tell me.”

jeno snickered, running his hands over your hips and waist to knead the flesh. then, he brushed your hair out of your face, nibbling at the skin behind your ear before growling, “you know what i want, cheerleader? i want to assassinate all there is that you love about yourself and leave everything else untouched, so that you understand not why everybody hates you, but why nobody loves you.”

those words hit you straight in the gut. for the first time, you had no retort, no comeback. 

hips beginning to move faster, jeno continued, “the boys don’t love you, they just want to fuck you. they would kill to be as deep inside you as i am. the girls sure as hell don’t love you. they either want to be you, or they resent you for beating their asses. and don’t get me started on those girls you call friends.”

“jeno, stop,” you whispered, an agony vicious enough to rip through flesh tearing you straight in half. 

but jeno didn’t listen. he wasn’t done, not until he made his point. “don’t think i didn’t notice how lonely you were for the whole week everybody was talking shit about you. they didn’t want to touch you with a six foot pole, did they? they don’t want to be seen with you unless it gives them a good rep.”

there was a pang in your chest. you didn’t want to admit it, but that cut deep. you had heard people say mean things about you before, it was to expected when you were an emblem of popularity on campus, but few things had reached you where it hurt.

jeno stroked your messy cheek, almost with affection. “but it’s okay. because you want to know something, baby? it was hard for me to admit it to myself, but you truly fascinate me. i can’t get you out of my head sometimes. you piss me off every time without fail, but i keep coming back to you. i like you, baby. if no one else does. you grew on me.”

you weren’t sure if that was supposed to make you feel better, but it didn’t. if anything, you only felt more heartbroken and wounded not only by his words, but by your inability to counter them. it truly dawned on you, right then, just how alone you were.

jeno threw his head back, grunting. his hips were moving with a mind of their own, eager to finish. “fuck, i’m gonna come.”

your eyes went wide in panic, remembering that he had gone in bareback. 

“jeno, don’t…”

before you could even finish your statement, jeno clamped a hand over your mouth, muffling your protests into his pale palm. “you know what guys at my school used to say about cheerleaders?” he asked, obviously not expecting a response. “‘see a cheerleader, breed a cheerleader.’ ‘cheerleader? breed her.’”

you thrashed, but it was pointless. those thick, burly biceps of jeno’s were one of the first things you noticed about him and they weren’t just for display. he held you in place as he quickened his pace again, his thrusts unrelenting.

with a couple more quick yet shockingly rhythmic thrusts, jeno emptied his load deep, deep inside you. he moaned, moving his hands from your mouth to your hips to keep himself steady as he reeled from the pleasure of a mind-numbing orgasm. “goddamn,” he cursed, panting for breath.

you stifled a small noise as you felt his warmth flooding into you, unsure how to feel at this point. 

to your surprise, jeno started fucking you again, never once daring to pull out as if he was determined to fuck every drop of his sticky cum as deep inside you as it could reach. his stringy, thick load gathered on his dick and inside your pussy, leaking down your thighs as he kept going.

you gasped out, moans involuntarily leaving you as you were stuffed full of him over and over. you didn’t mean to, but it was impossible to control.

then, jeno stuck a hand between your legs and rolled his thumb over your clit, which didn’t help. you cried out, tensing. “jeno, stop! it’s sensitive.”

“that’s the point, dummy,” jeno replied, stimulating your clit with his hand while simultaneously pumping himself into you from behind.

your core tightened, heat wafting over you as your chest heaved wildly. “what are you doing?” you stammered. 

jeno smiled, watching in the mirror how your face tensed with a blend of confusion and ecstasy that you couldn’t rein. “you really think i’m an asshole, huh? i’m trying to make you come. relax and let me.”

you shook your head. you didn’t want to come, not for him, and most definitely not on his cock for him to feel every unintentional shudder of your pussy as it gushed and pulsed with hot, sweet release; that would be embarrassing.

that made jeno chuckle. “no? you don’t wanna come for me, baby?” he asked, furrowing his brows playfully as he tilted your face back up to the mirror with a push of your jaw. “come on, let go. you keep saying i’m not a good guy, but you shoot me down when i try to be nice.”

you moaned again, against your own reason and better judgment. “please,” you rasped with half a breath.

“please, what?” jeno asked, rubbing you with just a pinch more force. “do you even know?”

god, you hated him; you absolutely despised him. but damn, if it didn’t feel good to have someone touch you after you’d spent so long avoiding sex like it was something to be ashamed of.

and this? this was definitely something you were ashamed of.

and yet the most shameful moment, perhaps, was when you finally couldn’t resist the pleasure of his big, long fingers twirling around your sensitive nub and his brutal hips smacking into you with a vengeance, clamping around him as you orgasmed with a loud cry and the heat shot through every corner of your body.

“shit,” jeno hissed, the feel of you finishing around him draining the cum from his balls for a second time.

your jaw slacked, overwhelmed by how you felt completely and utterly stuffed, ropes of his cum filling you to the hilt. jeno thrusted into you a little more, sending a flare through your back and shoulders, until he stilled for good. you could hear him panting behind you.

after a moment or two, jeno pulled out. hand between your thighs, he gathered some of his stringy release on his finger and brought it up to your lips. “open up. don’t make me say it again.”

you opened your mouth wide enough for him to insert two of his cum-coated fingers inside. then, you sucked at them and swallowed it down, knowing those would be the next words to leave his mouth. 

jeno raised a brow, pleasantly surprised. he took his time to withdraw his fingers, enjoying the sensation of you licking them clean. “see, i knew you loved eating my cum.”

your face burned, but you didn’t have the energy to deny it. not after that. it felt like there was a gaping hole in your chest, a void that would never be filled. 

“you’re learning,” jeno commented, humming in satisfaction. “good girl. you know, maybe one day we can get along. don’t you think?”

“yeah,” you murmured weakly. at this point, you would just go along with whatever he said. and maybe that was why he figured you could experience some peace together now.

keeping your dress bunched up, jeno grabbed some tissues from his left and started to wipe at you. “let’s get you cleaned up before we leave, cheerleader. don’t want the entire student body to see you like this, right?”

you whipped your head around, eyes widening in surprise. leaving to go where? certainly you weren’t going home with him after tonight. 

“did you think i was kidding?” jeno asked with a sly smile, slipping your panties backing in place and giving your shoulder a fleeting kiss. “i told you, i’m gonna fuck you till your legs give out.”

[rhaeverie]

No Pain, No Gain — ljn

pairing. gym-rat!jeno x aider!reader genre. fluff, (kinda)friends-to-lovers, a dash of hurt/comfort, slice-of-life wc. 4.3k summary. Jeno’s well aware that he looks like an idiot in front of you, but what else could he do when just the sight of you makes him feel like a kid with a schoolboy crush?; or in which, Jeno’s been coming to your office with the tiniest of scratches just so he has an excuse to see you warnings. mentions of minor injuries (fake & real) and some bleeding (nothing super detailed but it’s still there), I sorta wrote this as if it were like a sitcom, cliche scenario an. clearing my wips! yet another fic set in the most random place u can possibly think of and it’s bc I (unhealthily) romanticize everything (×-×)—I started writing this during my gym rat (mouse?) era in 2023 but never finished it til now oops dk if its any good,,, enjoy!!

“I can’t move my thumb.”

You use your finger to smooth down the sports tape over its first layer, gently grabbing the younger boy’s wrist to inspect your work, “That’s the point, Chenle.” 

“How am I supposed to play basketball with this,” Chenle pouts, bringing his taped thumb and wrist to show you as if you weren’t the one who just did it. His posture grows worse at the realization of his small injury and now he’s slumped on the bed. 

You sigh and repeat yourself, “That’s the point. You need to rest it or else you can get an injury worse than this. I recommend maybe a week? But I’m not a doctor.” 

You start cleaning your station up, fully expecting Chenle to understand and leave. But instead, he remains seated on the medical table, pouting. You know he’s trying to get you to change your mind, but seeing that he reported his wrist feeling tight and stiff, you know that it’s sprained and playing with it could make things worse.

“Chenle, I’m being serious,” you groan, “You need to rest it or you can’t play basketball for the rest of your life.” You were obviously exaggerating, raising your brows for even more emphasis. If he won’t listen to you by simply telling him, you might as well scare him into listening to you.

“Rest of my life?” He frowns, looking down at wrist, “I… I guess a week doesn’t seem too long… Thanks Y/N.” 

You smile, relieved that he’s choosing to listen to your advice, “I’ll see you next week then?” 

He nods and gathers his duffel bag and his sweater, dragging himself out the door of the first aid room. 

You turn away from the door, ready to busy yourself with some housekeeping items when you hear a knock at the door. It’s quiet, and you almost think that you were imagining the sound, but when you turn to face the door, you’re met with the vibrant gaze of Lee Jeno, accompanied by a sheepish smile. 

Ah… Lee  Jeno—of course.

“Almost thought you weren’t going to show up today,” you joke, “What happened now?” 

To anyone unfamiliar with the two of you, it might come across as if you weren't exactly doing your job well, seemingly rushing through treatments even when faced with potentially serious injuries. However, the guy standing in the doorway right now has been delivering the most poorest excuses for injuries you've ever heard.

Sure, perhaps a couple of questionable 'injuries' wouldn't bother you much, because maybe the person was just overly cautious about their well-being. But when Jeno strolled into your office recently with the tiniest scratch on his left calf, you couldn't help but suspect that something was definitely up. 

“I need ice,” Jeno side-steps into your office and pulls the corners of his lips higher on his cheeks, “Please?” 

“Next time, just jog over to the nearby McDonald’s and get ice there,” you say jokingly. This was his nth time in the past month asking for ice. You wonder if he’s just been using it to put into his water or if this dude just has some kink involving ice. 

You only question Jeno’s recent tendency to visit your office because, ever since you started working at the gym, he's been a regular. Hell, his physique alone is proof to his long-standing commitment to the gym. It just doesn't add up that Jeno, with his apparent gym ‘seniority’, would be falling victim to injuries so frequently.

“Here you go,” you hand him a small, transparent bag that was partially filled with ice, “Anything else?” 

Jeno’s irises fall to the right corners of his eyes in brief thought, “More… ice?”

You groan to conceal your amusement and move closer to Jeno, “Goodbye, Jeno. See you again another day!” You gently place your hands to his elbows, spinning him around and out your door.  

“No, wait I—“

“See you!” You wave, leaving Jeno no choice but to actually take his leave. 

Your coworker Jaemin sees the interaction from the front counter, and seeing that there weren’t any gym goers coming into the facility, he waves you over. 

"Everything alright?" he asks, his gaze flicking briefly from the computer screen to you.

You glance at his screen and notice a game of minesweeper unfolding. Suppressing a snicker, you retort, "Yeah, same reason as last week." Swiftly, you click on an empty tile on his minesweeper grid, revealing the mine locations.

“I’m trying to help you and you do this,” Jaemin clicks his tongue against his teeth and diverts back to the situation, “It’s not in a creepy way, is it?” 

You give yourself a moment to think everything through, “I’m not sensing anything weird or creepy with it, if I’m being honest. He’s going about it… in a cute way?” 

Jaemin lets out a hysteric laugh and it echoes throughout the gym, “A cute way?” 

"There's no other way to put it," you casually shrug. Leaning against the desk, you absentmindedly flip through the management binders laid out before you.

Jaemin's brows knit, his curiosity piqued. "Cute, how?"

“I don’t know.” You’re lying. You know damn well what you meant. 

Every time Jeno decides to pull one of his ‘stunts’, he’s at your door, eyes all glossy and resembling a hopeful puppy. And when you choose to pretend not to notice him, he doesn't hesitate to clear his throat (rather obnoxiously) or hum out a soft, "anyone home?" even though you're clearly rummaging in your cupboards for more supplies.

Jaemin reads right through your feigned innocence, eyes narrowing, “Sure you don’t.”

“Well, it’s not something I can explain,” you groan, “Just take my word for it.”

“Okay… cute… does that mean you’re enjoying all this?” Jaemin’s eyes wiggle your way and you’re glad that no one’s around to see or hear this. 

You scoff, “Enjoying what?” 

"Come on, Y/N. Let's not play naive," Jaemin smirks, "Jeno is practically inventing reasons to see you.” Jaemin pats your head like you would a child, which you dodge almost immediately, “Which is honestly disappointing. A guy like Jeno could probably think of something way better but he resorted to something so basic.” 

You glare at Jaemin, your annoyance evident, “I hate that you’re probably right.” Because what else could the reason be? Jeno couldn’t be that concerned for his well-being. And you distinctly recall questioning your other coworker, Xiaojun, about whether Jeno tends to show up frequently on your days off. His response? A shocking no.

“I always am,” Jaemin brushes non-existent dust off of his shoulder, “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?” At times like these, you have the memory of a goldfish.

“If you were enjoying it,” Jaemin clarifies, "You did call it cute, and cute usually equals enjoyment."

There were a couple ways you could go about Jaemin’s question. Was he asking if you were reciprocating this attraction Jeno seemingly had for you? Or maybe he wanted to know if you found amusement in the ongoing situation?

Regardless, your cheeks betray you by warming at the question and the thought of your answer sliding off the tip of your tongue.

“I’d be lying if I said no.”

—

It’s no surprise when Jeno shows up to your office two days later with the same smile plastered on his face. 

He’s standing right outside of your office, waiting for you to welcome him in. When you do, he enters the room slowly, greeting you as he moves toward the medical bed situated at the far corner and away from the entrance. 

Jeno watches as you rake through a pile of disorganized supplies, “How are you?” You weren’t in search of anything specific, but you were trying to busy yourself now that Jeno was in the room with no clear purpose. 

“I'm all right," you reply casually, your voice calm. "You?” You quickly glance up at him and almost crumble to your knees. Today, Jeno is sporting a black muscle tee and grey sweatshorts, and though you've never really taken notice of his outfits before, you secretly (and shamefully) remind yourself to start doing so. 

“I’m okay,” Jeno hums, “I was wondering if I could get a heat pack?” 

You take a good look at him and narrow your eyes, “It doesn’t look like you need one.” But regardless, you make your way toward the heat packs sitting in a cupboard by the fridge. You simply wanted to hear what his reason was this time. 

“My quads are really stiff today,” Jeno replies, subtly gesturing to his legs, “I could barely get through leg day with them.” 

“Well, this should work,” you say. You pop the pack and wrap a towel around it, “There you go. See you!” 

“Can I stay here for a bit?” You don’t see the way Jeno pouts. You’re too busy making your way to your box full of miscellaneous things. He presses the pack against the upper side of his thigh, remaining seated on the bed, “I’ll leave when the heat pack is finished.” 

Jaemin’s voice echoes in your head, "Jeno is practically inventing reasons to see you.” And you can now see that it was painfully obvious. 

“Of course,” you say, “Take as long as you need.” 

You move on to organizing the supplies, trying your best not to mind the pair of eyes that were burning holes into the side of your head. 

“So…” Jeno starts, “How was your weekend?” 

“You don’t need to make small talk you know,” you say, pulling out three pairs of medical scissors, “You could take a nap or something.” With your back turned to him, you go to put the tools away, “I don’t mind.”

Jeno swings his legs in the air and slumps, “Yeah, but I—uh—do want to make small talk.” He’s half-assedly holding the heat pack to the side of his thigh, growing annoyed that it wasn’t staying in a specific place. He resorts to pinning it under his thigh. 

“Which I also don’t mind,” you say, biting back a smile, “My weekend was okay… stayed home and relaxed. Nothing super special. You?” 

You stop and turn to look at him, keeping your eyes trained on the man who was now leaning back against the wall. The position looks uncomfortable, yet Jeno appears to be content. 

“Similar to yours,” he replies, “Except Hyuck forced me to play a few games online with him. It was fun, actually! But don’t tell him that.” 

You let out a snort. You’re familiar with Donghyuck, recalling how he and Jeno had made a deal that if Jeno managed to bring him to the gym for a few workouts, then he had to play some of his PC games in return. 

“How’s he doing anyways?” You question, “I haven’t seen him in a while.” 

Jeno’s brows furrow for a sliver of a second before they sit back to where they had originally been, “Last leg day killed him, so he’s given up until he recovers.” 

“Ah,” you giggle, “Can’t keep up with you, I’m guessing?” 

Jeno shakes his head, bangs creating a blanket over his eyes. He sweeps them aside, “Not really. I don’t really go hard on leg days. I’m more of a back and biceps type of person.” 

Your eyes defy you as they scan Jeno’s arms. You blame him. His statement was practically an invitation to look at his upper limbs as if you needed some kind of evidence, “I believe you.” It comes out a lot more flirty than you intended and you want to sprint out of the room before you make one more wrong move. 

“O-oh,” Jeno stammers. It was a sight seeing Jeno grow shy, using his hands to hide arms. And although he was hoping to conceal them, the man forgets that doing so only means he had to flex his arms, “Thanks?” 

You’re not sure how to reply, resorting to rummaging through the same box. You find some empty rolls of tape and you toss them in the trash. How do you even go about this conversation? Say ‘you’re welcome’? Weird. Ask him about his routine? No, it wasn’t like you were looking into building your arms. Ask if you could feel his arms? 

Shut up, brain, be fucking for real right now.

“Y/N?” 

“Hm?” You look up and Jeno’s looking back at you expectedly.

“Sorry, I zoned out a little there,” you sheepishly confess, playing with one of the box’s flaps, “Did you say something?” 

“I… uh, nevermind, it doesn’t matter,” Jeno clears his throat, “It was just about—um—something. But it can wait another day.” He smiles and it just about reaches his eyes. 

“Wait, no, tell me,” you frown. 

“It’s…” Jeno’s eyes flicker back and forth, contemplating if he really should go through with his question. He wants to—he really does—but his words fail him, teeth biting at his bottom lip. 

“It’s really nothing, ha-ha!” You watch as his gaze drops to the heat pack suffocating underneath his thigh. He uses the back of his hand to feel it. It’s still very warm, but regardless, he uses it as an excuse. “I’ll just take my leave… Um, I guess I’ll see you around?” Jeno slips off the bed, tossing the pack into the trash before he moves past you. 

“Wait, Jeno…” You make another attempt to stop him, guilt slowly creeping up on you, curiosity accompanying it because you should’ve been listening. 

For once, you wished he stayed just a bit longer. 

—

It’s been almost a week and a half since Jeno last visited your office. 

But who’s counting?

You check once, twice, thrice over your shoulder for Jaemin’s presence, nodding to yourself when you’re sure that your coworker wasn’t there to see the down-bad bullshit you were about to pull. 

Pulling up the gym’s database, you quickly type Jeno’s name into the search bar. While it loads, which feels so so painfully long, your fingers tap against the edge of the desk. You can’t believe you’re doing this.

“Hm.” 

Once Jeno’s profile finally appears on the screen, you follow his row to the Date Last Active column, seeing that he was at the gym this morning, two hours before your shift. 

A low whistle knocks you out of your trance and you jump, almost knocking the keyboard off the desktop. 

“Fucking hell, Jaemin!” You swing at his shoulder at a strength you knew damn well he wouldn’t even feel, “You think you’re funny sneaking up on me like that?” 

“Yes,” Jaemin shrugs, “Misusing the database I see…” His eyes narrow at you, brow raising. Then, he smirks and pokes at your rib, “Stalking your boyfriend.”

“Shut up,” you quickly exit the application and pull up Jaemin’s minesweeper game, “He’s not my boyfriend… Acting like you don’t do the same shit with other gym goers…” 

“I don’t see why you can’t just walk up to him and talk to him,” Jaemin sighs, “He’s still here, you know.” 

“He is?” 

“Awww your eyes lit up!” Jaemin teases, diabolically sticking a finger in your face. 

You threaten him again, which Jaemin completely disregards out of spite.

“But tell me why he’s been coming to the gym more often when you’re not here,” Jaemin, like you, was quite familiar with Jeno’s routines, “Did you do something that would force the poor guy to change his routine all of a sudden? Sometimes he wakes up at ass o’clock to get his workout done.”

Your mind reels back to your last interaction. Playing back each and every second and overanalyzing each and every word that left your mouth that afternoon. Yeah, you probably did but you don’t want to think that you’ve scared Jeno away. 

“I don’t think so?” 

“‘I don’t think so?’” Jaemin mocks, “Writing ‘liar’ on your forehead would be more subtle than whatever the hell that was.” He pauses his game and decides to fix all his attention onto you, “Now spill.”

“I really don’t know, okay?” you groan, “Last time I spoke to him, I zoned out and I missed what he was saying and then he left and he didn’t even choose to repeat it or anything.” 

Jaemin narrows his eyes at you, almost as if he’s lost all hope in his very good friend and coworker, “Y/N, did you not just graduate with a master’s?” 

Your brows meet, “Huh? What do you mean?”

He mutters a dumbass under his breath, which completely flies past your head. “Nothing.” Jaemin smirks subtly, turning away to leave in hopes that you don’t ask any further questions.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

Jaemin gets flashbacks to his mom, “Uhhhhhhh, there?” The man points to nowhere in particular before taking off. 

“Na Jaemin!” You call out. Your voice echoes through the gym and you groan, slumping against the desk before accepting defeat—because what did Jaemin mean? Was he calling you stupid or something?

Not even five minutes pass when you hear Jaemin’s voice boom over the speakers, “Y/N, you’re needed in your office. Y/N, you’re needed in your office.” 

You look over to Jaemin’s office and shoot him a look that could kill. And again, Jaemin ignores your threat, grinning menacingly before he waves cause he knows he’s pissing you off. You’ve never grown used to this man’s attitude, but it doesn’t mean you don’t adore it. 

Logging off the computer, you let out a huff and pad your way past the exercise machines and into your office. And from all that you were expecting, you sure as hell weren’t expecting to find a very worn out Jeno, the hem of his tank sprinkled in faint drops of blood. 

“Jeno?” You don’t even try to mask your worry, fast-walking straight to him before you guide (practically tugging) him to the medical bed, “What happened? Are you okay?” 

An annoying and almost spiteful grin shyly appears on Jeno’s lips before he turns his palms up for you to see. His hands were covered in blisters, some popped and others brand new. They looked extremely painful to even look at.

“Fuck,” you mutter, “Didn’t I say not to overwork yourself that one time?” You turn your back to Jeno and begin gathering all the supplies you need to treat his blisters. You’re rambling under your breath, words unrecognizable from where you’ve sat Jeno down. 

Your heart’s beating out of your chest, mostly because this is the first time you’ve seen Jeno in a while. But to add his injuries on top of that? You’re certainly not sure how you’re keeping composure. 

Meanwhile, Jeno really can’t do much but watch you move from one corner of the room to the other. He wants to get up and help, but by the way an eleven forms in between your brows, he’s reluctant to even say anything. 

It’s funny because despite how aggressive you’re handling all the supplies, the second you make contact with his wrist, your demeanor changes, suddenly shifting to be more gentler. You hold his hands as if you were holding a newborn, delicately rotating them to understand what had to be treated.

“If it hurts, tell me,” you say quietly, “Actually don’t. I’m mad at you right now.” 

Jeno’s head tilts to the side like a confused puppy. Then he finally says, “Mad at me?” 

“Yes,” you grab a sheet of gauze and begin wiping away at Jeno’s palm, dabbing carefully when it comes to the blisters, “I’m mad at you.”

“Why?” 

“This is why you need a break.” You ignore his question, grab new gauze and continue wiping away the new and old blood that’s accumulated in his palms. “Jeno, I know you like it here, but your body needs rest, too.” 

A response sits at the tip of Jeno’s tongue and he’s not sure whether or not he should tell you. The last time he decided to take a step out of his comfort zone, you didn’t even hear him. 

Does he want to try that again? 

You spray his palms with disinfectant before applying some ointment to help them heal faster. At this point, you hadn’t done as much as looked up to make eye contact with the man. 

“But..” Big step. “But this is the only place that I get to see you.”

What the fuck? 

You hope Jeno doesn’t notice the way you freeze for a burning second before you try to play it off by grabbing long bandages. It’s a good thing he can’t see the way your heart is beating erratically—and you’re hoping he doesn’t hear it, too. 

“You can literally see me wherever you want if you just asked,” you say nonchalantly, voice quiet, “But instead you resort to…” You stop yourself from speaking any further, unsure if you would even want Jeno knowing that you had suspicions of him pulling fake injuries out of his ass to make excuses to see you. 

“I’m not even sure if you’d even agree to it,” Jeno confesses, “I like… I really like talking to you but—“ 

“But what?” You slowly begin wrapping the bandage around his wrist, making your way up to his palm. 

Jeno can’t help but whisper, “You don’t seem to like me as much as I wished.” 

You hold back a giggle. Jeno’s always so accidentally cute and he doesn’t even know it. It’s literally pissing you off that a man you’re fake-mad at is doing absolutely nothing to earn your affection, yet here he was, doing just that. “You don’t know that.”

“I do know that,” Jeno counters. 

“No, you don’t,” you ping-pong back. The bandage crosses between his fingers and you manage to finish wrapping the bandage around his palm. 

“I do.”

“Did you ask me?” You gulp, because at this point you’re afraid where this conversation was going. 

“Well, do you like me?” 

You move onto his other hand, grabbing another roll of the long bandage. You could feel the atmosphere in the room begin to shift and now you’re beginning to sweat in your light sweater.��

“I do.” 

Jeno clears his throat, “In the way I like you?” You groan. Of course he’d say that. It was a valid follow up question, simply because your answer could very much cover that broad spectrum of like. 

You ask, “How do you like me?” 

Jeno takes a moment to think about his answer, watching as you start replicating your work from his other hand, “I honestly… think it’s obvious how I like you.” “Mmm,” you hum. At this point you’re teasing him on purpose, “How so?” 

“I make myself look like a fool when it comes to you,” Jeno huffs, “Ice? Heat packs? Who am I kidding…” Jeno scoots back in his seat and you follow, practically falling between his knees from the way he’s sitting. “Every time I come here looking for you, that’s when I gain the confidence to finally ask you out… well not always out but maybe for your number or just simply talk to you or something. I wanted to be friends and then more if it went well…” 

Your movements slow, attention failing to even do a decent job at bandaging. 

“But, when I finally reach this room and see you? It’s like I lose all that confidence and it’s stuffed in the bag with the ice you give me,” Jeno explains. “I’m even lucky enough that I can finish my sentences around you…”

You blink at his injured palm and the realization dawns on you. So this was what Jaemin was hinting at, “And that last time… you asked me out and—”

“And you didn’t hear me,” Jeno finishes, “And I couldn’t for the life of me repeat what I asked because my confidence plummeted and then the fear of rejection kicked in.” 

Your hands have since halted, cradling Jeno’s hand as you try to calculate your next move. It’s now clear as day that Jeno has feelings for you, and you’ve slowly been coming to terms with yourself that you care a little too much about Jeno than a normal person should. 

“Ask me now.”

“What?” Jeno practically jumps, startled and confused. 

You drop the bandage roll and lightly tighten your grip around his hand. Looking up, you find that Jeno’s gaze has already been sitting and waiting for your own to meet his. You clarify, “Ask me what you asked then, now. This time, I’m listening.”

The reassurance from you lifts some weight off of Jeno’s shoulders, ones he didn’t know even existed. Then, he fixes his composure, moistens his lips and finally says, “Would you–um–like to go out for dinner with me?”

“My answer then and now are the same,” you smile down at your feet, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze, “I would really love to.”

Eyebrows reaching for his hairline, Jeno’s eyes widened, “Wait, really?” 

“Really,” You nod. And although you try to look anywhere else in the room, Jeno’s eyes capture your eyes once again, holding them there for a few skips of your heartbeat. 

You clear your throat and let out a breathy laugh, “Haha so um… let me just—“ You hastily pick up the bandage roll and return to your work. 

It doesn’t take much longer before you finish, concealing and protecting his injuries under the bandages. “Now that you’ve got me, promise me you won’t overwork yourself like this?” 

“I’ve… got you?” Jeno’s cheeks heat up at your choice of words, the shift between the both of you being so evident now that he’s experiencing a weird case of whiplash. 

“Shut up,” you mumble, “Just promise me. I don’t wanna have to keep worrying about you getting hurt.” 

Jeno laughs, completely enamoured at your own flustered state. 

“Yeah, yeah… I promise.” 

[nerdlvr]

nerd!jeno was dead set on staying a virgin. school first and then girls. he saw what pussy did to his friends, their grades plummeting immediately after losing their virginities. pussy could wait, school couldn't.

that's why he was more than confused as to how he ended up in this position. you were hovering over his bare lap, his flannel shirt unbuttoned revealing his toned chest, your clothes somewhere on the floor. you reached in between your legs to hold his length slowly sliding his flushed tip along your folds. jeno gulped,

"you said just the tip, right?"

you leaned forward to peck his lips, reassuring him with your sweet smile,

"yes jen, just the tip, promise, we can stop if you want."

he shook his head quickly, how could he pass up this opportunity? it's not like he was losing his virginity anyways, it doesn't count if it's just the tip. after this he could go back to his studies, and you would go back to- well, wherever you came from, out of sight out of mind.

your free hand held onto his shoulder, keeping yourself steading as you slowly sunk down, making sure to not go too far. a hiss from jeno made you look up, his brows were scrunched together, lip trapped in between his teeth as his eyes focused in on where you two connected. his hands came up to your hips, helping you slightly bounce.

"shitttt, y/n, you're so wet, oh my- is that normal?"

he was referring to the squelching noise coming from in between your legs, your juices running down jeno's length. your cheeks flushed at his question, hiding your face in his neck.

"yeah, it's um, i'm just, i'm really turned on, sorry."

you slowed your bouncing, suddenly aware of the wetness in between your legs, not wanting to make too much noise. he let out a groan at the loss of friction, his grip on your hips tightened as he held you in place, his hips jutting up to fuck you instead.

"no, no it's hot, you're hot, don't hide, let me see you pretty."

you removed your face from his neck to look at him. his cheeks were flushed, sweat building on his hairline, his glasses slightly fogged up from the heat between you two. why was this virgin nerd getting you so worked up just with his tip?

"jen, can we, can we maybe go a bit further? it'll feel a lot better."

he didn't even process your question before he was bottoming out, pulling your hips flush against his, head kissing your cervix. you clenched around him moaning at the sudden fullness,

"jen, oh my-fuck, feel s' full, how are you so big?"

he groaned at the question, feeling how your pussy squeezed around him, you were so warm, so wet, and so tight.

jeno now understood that grades could wait, pussy couldn't.

.

just the tip trope makes me feral.

request and image inspo from my cutie moot here !!

.

pt.2

[nebularsung]

⭑ you're jeno's favourite gift ﹙+18﹚

all that could be heard from that bedroom was soft, breathless whines, muffled moans, the sharp rhythm of skin meeting skin, and the sound of jeno’s voice—low, sweet, and full of reverent praise.

it was jeno’s birthday, and—true to the quiet, homebody heart he had—he wanted nothing more than to stay where he felt most at peace: at home, wrapped in your arms, spoiled by your attention, and fed by your hands. you had made his favorite dishes, laughed with him over wine, curled up in his lap while the candles burned low… but as night fell, his desire shifted.

he wanted his favorite gift of all.

you.

and how could you possibly deny him?

“fuck, baby…” he groaned, voice dropping deeper as he watched the way your body gave in to him. his fingers pressed tighter into the curve of your hips, guiding you back to meet his every thrust, relentless and hungry. “so fuckin’ good to me… always ready for me… mine.”

your face was buried in the pillows, your ass arched high in the air—just how he liked it. the angle let him hit that perfect spot over and over again, and your moans were so high and sweet they came out broken and muffled into the sheets. he’d be smug about it if he weren’t so utterly ruined by the way your body gripped him like a vice, so warm and wet and perfect just for him.

you were going for the fourth round already, but jeno didn’t seem any near to finish what he had started.

he leaned over you, his chest flush against your back for a moment as he kissed your shoulder, then your spine. “can’t believe i get to have you like this…” he whispered, almost to himself. “you make me feel like the luckiest man alive.”

you let out a choked sob of pleasure, and jeno only chuckled softly, hand sliding along your waist, gripping you tighter. “that feel good, baby? you’re doing so well… taking me so good, just like i knew you would. such a good girl for me, even on my birthday…”

you nodded desperately into the pillow, fingers clutching at the sheets as he kept rocking into you with deep, measured strokes now—less frantic, more intense, like he wanted to feel every second of it, draw it out. worship you.

“wanna hear you,” he muttered. “just a little. let me hear my pretty girl.”

you turned your head, gasping, your voice breathy and wrecked. “jeno—feels so good—i love you, love you so much—”

“yeah?” he breathed, hips stuttering slightly at the sound of your voice. “love you too, angel. gonna make you cum so hard. gonna have you creaming all over my cock, just the way i like it.”

and you did.

with a loud, trembling moan of his name, your body tensed beneath him, walls clenching, thighs shaking as the orgasm tore through you. jeno cursed under his breath, hips losing rhythm as he chased his own release, groaning into your back when he finally buried himself deep and filled you up, both of you panting and trembling, tangled in each other’s warmth.

he stayed inside you for a moment longer, letting your bodies breathe in sync, your skin slick and flushed, your heartbeats loud in your ears. then, with a soft kiss between your shoulder blades, he slowly pulled out—watching his seed leaking from you from the previous orgasms—grabbing a warm towel from the nearby dresser to clean you up with the same tender care he always showed.

you whimpered softly, still sensitive, and he murmured a quiet, “sorry, baby,” as he wiped your thighs gently. his hands lingered longer than necessary, though—you could feel how much he loved touching you, even in the smallest ways.

you weren’t sure how long you laid there in jeno’s arms, your limbs tangled, hearts still fluttering from everything you’d just shared. his warmth surrounded you, grounding and intoxicating all at once. you could’ve fallen asleep like that—completely satisfied, safe.

but then you felt it.

a subtle shift in his breathing. the way his hand, which had been resting innocently on your waist, slowly trailed downward, fingers stroking lazy patterns across your hip. his lips were brushing against your shoulder again, softer this time, more tender—like he was savoring every inch of your skin.

you stirred gently, turning in his arms to face him. the look in his eyes made your breath hitch.

“still hungry, birthday boy?” you teased, voice barely above a whisper.

he chuckled, low and warm, but there was heat behind his smile now. “i can’t help it,” he murmured, brushing your hair behind your ear. “you make it impossible to get enough of you…”

before you could respond, his lips were on yours again—slow and unhurried, like he wanted to memorize your taste. he kissed you with reverence, taking his time, tongues barely brushing, the heat building all over again with every slow pull of your lips.

his hand found your thigh, slipping beneath the covers, tracing up until his fingers were skimming the sensitive skin between your legs. you were still warm, still wet, and his breath caught at the feel of you.

“so ready for me,” he whispered, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. “even after all that…”

you nodded, heart thudding. “only for you, jen.”

that’s all he needed to hear.

he guided you onto your back, kissing down your collarbone, then your chest—worshipping every part of you with gentle bites and licks, his name whispered from your lips like a prayer. his hand stayed between your thighs, slowly working you open again, fingers curling just enough to make you gasp.

“you’re perfect,” he breathed against your breast, flicking his tongue over your nipple. “i could do this forever. just touch you, taste you… make you feel good.”

you whimpered softly, arching into his touch, hips rolling instinctively into his hand. “please… want you again.”

he looked up at you from between your breasts, hair slightly messy, lips kiss-swollen. “then take me, baby,” he said, voice thick with affection. “i’m all yours.”

and he meant it.

he slid into you with a deep, slow stroke—your legs wrapped around his waist instantly, pulling him as close as he could possibly get. this wasn’t like the last round. this time, he moved slow, savoring the way your body clenched around him. every roll of his hips was steady, deep, his forehead pressed to yours as he whispered praise between kisses.

“so beautiful… god, you feel so good around me…”

“you’re doing so good for me… fuck, i love being inside you…”

“you were made for me, weren’t you?”

each thrust drew soft moans from your lips, your fingers tangled in his hair, nails grazing down his back. the tension built gradually—less explosive, more consuming. it spread like fire under your skin, until you were trembling beneath him, whispering his name like a promise.

jeno’s hands gripped yours, fingers laced tight as he stared down at you, flushed and breathless. “cum for me again,” he murmured. “just one more, baby. wanna feel you around me one more time.”

you couldn’t even respond. you were already there.

your body locked up beneath him, waves of pleasure crashing through your core as you cried out his name, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes from the overwhelming emotion of it all. jeno kissed them away, hips stuttering, then slowing as he came with a deep, ragged moan, burying himself inside you completely, like he needed to mark every inch of you as his.

he didn’t pull away immediately.

instead, he stayed nestled against you, his body heavy and warm, his breath evening out against your neck. your fingers traced along his spine, feeling his heart still racing.

“that,” he mumbled, voice hoarse but full of affection, “was the best birthday gift i’ve ever gotten.”

you smiled, pressing a kiss to his temple. “i’m happy i’m the one who can give you the best gift ever.” he let out a soft laugh, nuzzling his face onto your neck. “happy birthday, baby. i love you.”

he pulled away, looking up at you, soft and glowing, like you’d hung the stars for him.

“i love you too,” he whispered. “so much.”

｜ 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗌 𖹭 have i ever said how much i love jen and how much i fucking wanna sit on his nose??? like, respectfully, but how is this man built like that?? his body proportions are insane and his face fuckk his face man..........

★ @lyvhie @spacejip @zhapire

[jenomi]

when you first started dating jeno, he would be really shy on facetimes/video calls with you. keeping the phone camera at an appropriate distance from his face and keeping things very demure.

but after months of dating and many many calls, jeno has gotten very comfortable. he would bring his face close to the camera and smile or do silly faces into the camera. it always makes you laugh and you would tease him for being annoying. but when he's abroad and he would bring the camera close to his face, it made you a little sad because it made you miss him more than ever.

when he's up close to the camera, you can see all the features of his face that you love the most. the mole next to his eye, the mole on his nose, the light in his eyes, his smile lines, his nose scrunches, his neck... the feeling of missing him so deeply would be so strong, that it would bring you to the verge of tears. you even cried on a call with him once, sobbing in between your words, "i just miss you."

a similar feeling was happening now.

"babe, back up from the camera, i can't do this right now" you say teasingly (but also seriously cuz you could cry right now).

"why~" jeno says bringing the camera even closer to his face.

you fall silent and decide to just appreciate his face up close like this. jeno smiles and chuckles lightly at your lack of an answer.

"i wish i could time travel so i can see you right now instead of in a week," you mumble and pout.

"maybe you should close your eyes for a second and pretend i'm there."

"no," you deadpan.

"come on, just for 30 seconds." jeno nags.

you roll your eyes and go along with jeno's antics. but suddenly, you hear a knock on your door which makes you jump.

"omg that scared me," you whisper, "someone's at my door."

"this late? keep me on the line," jeno says with concern.

you trod over to your door and look through the peephole on your door. your gasp is audible from your own phone as you quickly open the door to see your boyfriend standing on the other side of your door.

your jaw drops before you throw yourself at your boyfriend.

"wow my girlfriend can time travel" jeno smiles as you kiss all over the face you've been loving only thru a screen for weeks.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

a/n: i saw a compilation of up-close jeno that inspired this but i lost the video </3

[106alibi]

good graces ; lee jeno

pairing: boxer!jeno x magazine-editor!reader

synopsis: y/n knows she's petty. so when she found out her (secret) celebrity boyfriend of a year had been cheating on her, through a news article to make things worse, she decided to cook up an action plan to get back at him, and what better way to take revenge than to get together with his all-time favourite athlete?

or, in which y/n involves an unsuspecting lee jeno into her little revenge scheme on her now ex-boyfriend.

ib: good graces, sabrina carpenter

featuring: haewon of nmixx, kazuha of lesserafim, ningning of aespa, 00z of nct dream, (side chars.) natty of kiss of life, jake of enhypen

genre: humour, fluff, angst (maybe)

disclaimers: fem pronouns for y/n, will give disclaimers for individual chapters if I see fit!, mentions of cheating, profanities, kms/kys jokes, inappropriate themes and jokes

notes: need to preface and say I love jake i love jake i love jake i love natty i love natty i love natty

playlist: good graces (sabrina carpenter) | taste (sabrina carpenter) | thank u, next (ariana grande) | mantra (jennie) | dopamine (giselle) | get him back (olivia rodrigo)

status: ongoing (061124)

updates: every wednesday

taglist: open~ drop a reply or ask to be added!

a/n: letting this marinate before i start it from mid to end november! i have high hopes for this one and i hope you give jeno lots of love because there is a serious jeno smau drought on this app 💔💔 if you want me to tag you when the profiles/prologue drops just send a reply or an ask too! love you all 💜💜

profiles 24/7 on the bowl | protected by jeno squad

chapters

chapter 00. prologue

chapter 01. LIKE P IN THE V??

chapter 02. umm uhh O.K!

chapter 03. clout chaser

chapter 04. rookie mistake

chapter 05. I think she's flirting (written)

chapter 06. a girl can't smile in 2024 without flirting?

chapter 07. Awkward!

chapter 08. soft launch

chapter 09. bad luck (written)

chapter 10. atrociously negative rizz

chapter 11. nonchalant kween

chapter 12. taemin sunbaenim

chapter 13. sweet talk

chapter 14. cucumber shreds

chapter 15. pretty

chapter 16. just a friend

chapter 17. use me

chapter 18. guilty?

chapter 19. not before I do

[handlemehyuck]

take what you need from me . lee jeno

・❥・ cockwarming (reader falls asleep during) + light fingering 18+ mdni fluff, stress relief, jeno x female reader 1.2k

thinking about cockwarming with boyfriend jeno, and its presence in your nighttime routine—the hints he receives in texts throughout the day, and that’s how this all started: your stress.

one evening, the energy that joined your arrival back home weighed down your shoulders, clouded your gaze, and kept your lips in a tight line when you approached your boyfriend after kicking off your shoes. so he took your hand, led you to your bedroom, and started undressing. every article of clothing shed enhanced the light in your eyes, straightening your posture with intrigue. when he was naked and perched on the edge of your bed, his fingertips flicked the buttons of your blouse, “may i?” the permission was easy—immediate, and he began undressing you slowly, taking his time, each movement made with care; there was no need to rush. once you were naked too, he leaned forward to kiss the stripe of skin beneath your breasts, squeezing your waist as the gentle ministration started the heavy task of clearing your head.

“i want to try something.” you watched with curiosity and awe as jeno pushed himself back until he was leaning against the headboard, muscles flexing, slivers of sunshine brushing his skin in a perfect glow. your lips parted at the sight, instinctually moving forward and taking his outstretched hand. you knew what this was. you had mentioned it before, when you were on his lap in the living room. it was a sunday night, serenity in the air and you half-dressed after a shower. he didn’t bat an eye, said you should try it while tracing your delicate lines of ink, wondered aloud if you already had. only a couple of times. with the wrong person, but a seed of something was still planted: closeness—a complete union.

your knees sink into the mattress, distance closing as you approach his waist, cock hard against his taut stomach, but his eyes are gentle and soft. jeno smiles at you, something reassuring as your legs widen to accommodate the width of his thighs. a guiding hand placed on your hips as you sink down.

the stretch is familiar. his hands on your thighs are warm. your locked gazes send a chill down your spine. for a moment, all you do is watch each other, feeling his length exactly where you want it, loving the warm buzz of need but knowing you won’t give in. you tilt your head, eyes closing as the waves of sweet euphoria lap at the edges of your mind, begging for a total flood. jeno draws you closer. your chests collide. your head dips, lips meeting his skin, grazing his neck, and sucking your favorite spot behind his ear—the place that always pulls a delicious sound from his lips. his strong arms hold you in a soft possession, fingertips kneading over your shoulders and down your back, searching for the spot that wakes you up in the middle of the night.

the feeling of your body going slack in his arms is electrifying because jeno knows what it means—how significant it is to be trusted completely, reminded of a moment so early on it feels like a lifetime ago when he told you: take what you need from me. he remembers the surprise that shifted your features. it widened your eyes, parted your lips, and warmed your cheeks. in that moment, his words meant a million things. neither one of you could know exactly where they’d begin and where they’d end, if anywhere at all. in the moments you feel like you’re taking too much, all jeno experiences is satisfaction and safety in your heart as the man you decided was worth letting in, letting yourself be known by, letting yourself connect with, and fall and tumble into something so intertwined you don’t doubt it’s cosmic.

jeno knows you’ve fallen asleep and readjusts himself ever so slightly, propping up another pillow behind him before closing his own eyes to focus on the rise and fall of your chest. the beat he feels against his own is recognized by his heart, and his breath matches yours.

you wake up to the sound of your name mumbled against your skin, an apologetic tone. “baby, i’m so sorry. i’ve got to piss.”

you hum, amused and start to lift yourself, but jeno stops you, catching you in a blissful kiss. his thumb teases the side of your breast, hardening your nipples. no fair. when he pulls away, you kiss his nose and finally disconnect with a sigh. one that melts into his own.

he’s still taking his time, and you lay propped up on your side to admire all of his solid lines, finding the soft and round places with ease. “are you sure you have to pee?”

“my leg’s asleep.” his smile is lazy, eyes shrinking to crescents. a light laughter follows, spilling a similar glow to the sun’s throughout your bedroom, its light gone until morning.

“should i stab it with a pen?” his expression sends you into giggles, and you settle for gentle squeezes along his quad muscle. “not my jen, i could never.” you fall onto your stomach and pepper kisses just above his knee. “better?” jeno hums, encouraging you to keep going.

you kiss his body until jeno stops you, groaning about the damn bathroom again, knowing his hard on will create an unfortunate struggle. “don’t go anywhere.” like you ever would.

you coo loudly, embarrassing him as he waddles through your closet and into the attached bath. “shut up!”

you turn to lay flat on your back, drawing a fingertip up your abdomen and through the valley between your breasts, completely immersed in euphoria. “don’t you dare come back in here without washing your hands.”

“who do you think i am?” the faucet turns on for a full 30 seconds - yes, you count them - before your boyfriend is back and standing over your body. he admires you: the curves he’d recognize with his eyes closed, your blissful expression, the swell of your chest, faint bruises from the weekend decorating your hip. “should we make love, baby?”

“please,” his thumb traces your lips, and you watch his face with wide eyes, eager not to miss a thing.

“you always ask so nicely, doll.”

“jen,” you moan as he pops his thumb into your mouth. your tongue circles it on instinct, satisfied, he draws it out. “please don’t make me wait.”

“i wasn’t going to,” he kisses your nose and then your forehead. sinking into the mattress, his knees entrap you this time. his thumb is coated in your saliva, not that he needs the help—your folds are already soaked. “mmm, always ready for me too.”

“you make it easy, jen.” you squirm beneath him, close to steering his thumb exactly where you need it.

he’s being playful, knowing there’s hours ahead of this, and you’ll be orgasmic until the sun rises. it’s one of the reasons why he has a thing about middle of the night lovemaking. he can only see so much of you in the moonlight. the shadows are exciting, lines of light find you in the lewdest places. but, his favorite part is watching you clarify—his love all over you as the sun stretches and yawns before you’re completely coated in light. light that sticks to your swollen lips, messy hair, bruised skin, the place where your bodies intertwine, his hand around your neck, your eyelids fluttering when his name is the only thing left to say because you know it makes him cum.

[hyuckiestarz]

falling for your classmate nerd!jeno

an; im not feeling this but i spent way too much time on it not to post :-)

masterlist

[leejenowrld]

Do Jeno and y/n still have freaky sex? Or have they become vanilla after having kids?

Like I can’t imagine them having threesomes now (but maybe they do idk)

do they have freaky sex?

oh babe, jeno and y/n might have graduated into full-time parenthood but the freak in them never really retired, it just evolved. the logistics change, of course (babies in the next room, toys underfoot, an actual bedtime routine that could take out even the kinkiest couple), but their appetite for each other? never dulled. if anything, it gets sharper, sneakier, more creative. those wild college days of threesomes, public makeouts, and a running tally of “places we’ve done it” become more like inside jokes than a regular pastime. but the heat between them? it’s grown up right alongside their family.

these days, it’s less about exhibition and more about the adrenaline of stealing moments—his palm already up your shirt before you’ve even locked the bathroom door, fingers pressed against your mouth as he fucks you slow and rough over the edge of the sink while the kids’ giggles echo down the hall. it’s silent grinding under the covers at midnight, the baby monitor hissing static between soft moans, his hand slipping between your thighs as you bite down on the pillow to keep from waking anyone. in the car, you’re straddling him in the dark while the kids snore in their seats, your dress bunched around your hips, windows fogged, the whole world shrunk to the filthy rush of his breath against your ear—jeno choking out your name, knuckles white as he grips your waist and begs you not to stop.

in the kitchen, he’ll corner you in front of the fridge, one hand down your pyjama shorts while you pretend to rummage for yogurt, his voice so low and cruel it makes you wet instantly—“look at you, already dripping, huh? want me to make you cum right here?” sometimes you’re both too desperate to wait—he’ll bend you over the counter, yank your panties to the side, fuck you deep and dirty while you stifle your cries in your sleeve, the risk of little footsteps padding in making you clench around him until you’re shaking. you’ve learned to keep a robe handy, always half-dressed, always listening for the creak of a door or the patter of tiny feet, and still, the hunger always wins.

there’s sex in the shower while the kids fight over rubber ducks, his mouth hot and sloppy against your skin as he lifts your leg and presses you up against the tiles, making you promise to stay quiet—“you want the world to hear how much you love this? how good i fuck you, even with my cock buried in you and your hair full of bubbles?” sometimes you end up on your knees, gagging around him while the steam fogs the mirror, the two of you a mess of giggles and whispered filth, scrambling to pull it together when someone starts banging on the door.

once, you do it on the nursery floor, half-hidden behind the rocking chair, your shirt still wet from bath time, his teeth scraping your shoulder as he takes you from behind, your hand clamped over your mouth, the glow of the nightlight throwing shadows over his face. you know it’s wrong, but you’re addicted to the risk—the threat of being caught, the thrill of getting away with it, the way his fingers knot in your hair as you ride him slow, whispering “my good girl, my filthy wife, gonna make me cum so hard for you.”

even the living room isn’t safe: he’ll make you sit on his lap during movie night, grind against him under a blanket while the kids watch cartoons, his hand hidden between your legs, two fingers working you open until you’re shivering, barely able to speak. he’ll dare you to cum quietly, bite your shoulder if you get too loud, mouth filth against your ear just to watch you fall apart in silence. sometimes, when everyone’s finally asleep, you’ll crawl into his lap, straddle him, let him bounce you on his cock until the couch creaks and you’re both drunk on exhaustion and want, clinging to each other like teenagers, still ravenous, still addicted, still his. jeno never stops teasing, and you never stop pushing back. sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it’s filthy, but it’s always yours—those stolen, sweaty, dangerous minutes when you can pretend you’re still young, wild, and untouchable, fucking like the world might catch you, and neither of you would ever care.

the babies catching them

these days, sex is a game of timing—an endless, horny race against chance and childhood curiosity. you both know the rules now: always listen for footsteps, always keep a robe within reach, always lock the damn door. but it’s the risk, the laughter, the panting breath, the way he mouths mine against your shoulder with your panties still pushed up high, that keeps it burning, keeps you desperate, keeps you young and hungry and in love. every room in this house carries a secret.

the first time you’re caught, it’s junie—quiet, clever, always too quick for his own good—slipping into your bedroom without knocking because he’s lost his favorite dinosaur. you’re half-naked, bent over the bed, jeno behind you, both frozen mid-thrust as junie blinks up at you, blank-faced and confused. “mama, why are you making that noise?”

jeno’s voice cracks as he fumbles for the nearest excuse, yanking up his boxers, cheeks flushed. “mama’s back hurts, junie. daddy’s giving her a… special massage.”

you’re still out of breath, gripping the sheet, trying not to laugh as junie eyes you suspiciously, little dinosaur clutched to his chest. he shrugs, unimpressed—“doesn’t sound like any massage we get at school,”—and shuffles off, leaving you both wheezing, the mood ruined but your heart fit to burst with love and mortification. after that, you make extra sure to wedge a chair under the door handle, but somehow it never seems to be enough.

serin’s more dramatic about it. you’re straddling jeno on the living room sofa, his hand up your shirt, your hips grinding in slow, lazy circles, when she bursts in without warning—sticky fingers full of half-melted ice cream, eyes going wide. “why is daddy biting your boobies?”

jeno all but launches you off his lap, the two of you scrambling for the blanket, faces red and burning. you croak, “daddy’s just being silly,” and jeno adds, “we’re playing grown-up games, bubba, you want to go back to the kitchen?”

serin doesn’t buy it for a second—she stares, brow furrowed, then giggles and yells for junie: “mama and daddy are being weird again!”the next day, you find her whispering about ‘biting games’ to her stuffed animals and feel your soul leave your body.

there’s the infamous shower incident—jeno’s fucking you against the glass, hand clamped over your mouth, when serin and junie barge in, arguing about bath toys. you panic, slip, almost crack your head, jeno catches you just in time, and you both start shrieking about the water being “too hot” and how you “fell over.”

the kids, unimpressed, grab their rubber ducks and leave, muttering, “mama and daddy are always in the way.” you can’t stop laughing, slick with soap and adrenaline, as jeno pushes your hair out of your face and hisses, “we’re never safe, are we?” yet you’re both grinning, shaking, still desperate to finish what you started the second the bathroom door clicks shut again.

sometimes, you think they know. sometimes you swear they’re trying to catch you, tiny agents of chaos conspiring to ruin every stolen moment. yet every time, you find a new excuse, a new way to hush each other’s laughter, to bite your tongue as his fingers slide under your waistband, to arch into his touch behind half-open doors. as soon as you’re alone, as soon as the house quiets, you’re tangled again—quick, dirty, always half-listening for footsteps, always half-wild with the joy of getting away with it one more time.

do they have threesomes?

are they inviting a third into their bed these days? probably not as often, they used to have threesomes every week during college. it’s just too complicated, too risky, too sacred now. they’re a lot older and a lot more committed to each other, they’re married now. the focus is all on each other, on rediscovering new ways to keep the fire burning when the world is chaos and tiny feet are always running down the hall. but vanilla? never. not when you’ve both tasted everything, not when the memories alone could get you both off in the right mood. their sex is different now: slower, more layered, sometimes softer, sometimes dirtier than ever, because the trust is so deep and the love is so solid.

every once in a while, the old spark comes out to play—maybe a weekend away (rare, but holy fuck), a hotel room, or a night when the grandparents take the kids and the house is suddenly, gloriously empty. that’s when you remember who you were before you became mama and dada, and every filthy, freaky thing you ever taught each other comes back with a vengeance. they’re not retired—they’ve just gotten smarter, sneakier, and even better at making each other fall apart behind closed doors. the thrill never dies, babe. it just gets clever.

there was one week—two years after serin was born, with junie almost five—when you found yourselves in another country, just the two of you for once. the air tasted different, salt on your skin, a hotel bed instead of the mattress back home, freedom in every lazy stretch and bite. the kids were thousands of miles away with their grandparents, and you swore to each other, before you even zipped your bags, that you’d fuck in every room you entered. it was the week jaehwa was made—a night thick with sweat, gin on your tongues, hands greedy and wild, jeno’s eyes dark as he pulled you across the sheets, rough and reckless, his teeth on your neck, your legs shaking, the air gone sweet and filthy as college all over again. that night you felt nineteen, high on want, no curfews, no interruptions, his hands pinning you down and dragging out every needy sound until you’d both forgotten how to breathe quietly.

and that was the night you met her—sabine, a dark-haired, honey-skinned grad student from marseille, with eyes like wet velvet and laughter that slurred every syllable. you found her at the rooftop bar, all cigarette smoke and cheap perfume, her lips red and her gaze lingering just a little too long on your mouth. you liked the way she touched your wrist, bold and teasing, the way she watched jeno as if she could eat him alive. the three of you spilled upstairs, half-drunk and giddy, and jeno’s hand was already under your skirt in the elevator, sabine pressing kisses to your throat, both of them hungry for you, for each other, for the kind of messy, wild night you only get to live a handful of times in one lifetime.

it was greedy, sweaty, delicious—her mouth between your thighs, jeno watching with his jaw clenched and eyes glazed, his cock heavy against your leg, the kind of filthy encouragement he only ever whispers when he knows no one’s listening. you pulled sabine onto his lap, rode him while she kissed you, all three of you tangled, slippery, biting, giggling, cum-slick and breathless until dawn. you watched jeno fuck her first, his hands tight around her waist, his eyes never leaving yours, and then she begged you to kiss her, her accent thick and pleading, and you did—long, slow, greedy, until you were both gasping.

the sunrise painted you golden, all limbs and sweat and nothing left to hide. jeno fucked you again, desperate, hungry, telling you how good you were, how he’d never get tired of sharing you, how he wanted to watch you cum over and over again. that was the last threesome you had—for a while, anyway. after that, it felt right to keep that spark just yours for a time. you went home sore, glowing, maybe a little more in love, and a week later you were late, and then you were crying in the bathroom with a stick in your hand, already knowing before the second line even appeared. sometimes, when the house is loud and the nights are quiet, you whisper to him about that week, about sabine’s mouth, about the taste of freedom and gin, about the way he filled you up so deep you swore you’d never want anyone else again. and every so often, when his hand is down your pants and you’re giggling behind a locked door, you wonder what other memories are waiting for you out there—what wild, filthy, hungry parts of yourselves you haven’t touched yet.

[shuafiles]

lie to girls [l.jn]

you don't have to lie to girls. if they like you, they'll just lie to themselves.

MDNI, 18+

SUMMARY | it was hard watching jeno struggle with his relationship, but it was even harder when he ran to you for comfort every time. especially when you, his long-time best friend, have been in love with him for the longest time. but when jeno starts lying about where he’s going and who he’s with, you realize the biggest lie might be the one you’re telling yourself—that he’ll ever choose you. or girls will cry, and girls will lie, and girls will lose their goddamn minds for you.

PAIRING | bff!jeno x afab!reader (x univ student!jaemin)

CONTENT | university!au, best friends to ?, angst, infidelity (no i do not condone this), swearing, miscommunication, drinking, smut (fingering, oral [f receiving], nipple play, unprotected sex [dont do this], dirty talk, few degrading names, perv!jeno, voyeurism? [listening in], masturbation, cream pie), lowercase intended, doesn’t end in angst

FEATURING | nct dream, nct 127’s jaehyun, aespa’s karina & winter, le sserafim’s chaewon & yunjin, txt’s soobin, the boyz’s eric

WORDS | 25.9k

PLAYLIST | lie to girls – sabrina carpenter, everytime – ariana grande, focus – niki, wildflower – billie eilish, cry – cigarettes after sex

A/N | quick disclaimer that this is all fiction, and my depiction of the characters i used is far from reality. i wanted to make the characters (mostly y/n and jeno) a bit flawed but idk dont think too heavily and please read with an open heart and mind. enjoy! likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated (leaving feedback would be great!) <3

“hey.” jeno greeted you, standing at your front door, which only meant one thing. they fought again.

you pushed the door wider, letting him inside. he looked like a mess, his shoulders slumped, dark bags around his eyes, hair disheveled. even from afar, you could tell he was going through something. his phone was in his hand, checking for notifications, but he let out a huge sigh when the home screen was empty.

“do i even want to know?” you prodded, eyes watching him as he plopped down on the couch. his head tilted back on the headrest, mind filled with thoughts.

“you know how she is.” jeno mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. “said she needed some space.”

unfortunately, i do know how she is. jeno’s girlfriend, karina. they’ve been together since first year of college when jeno met her at some random party. they were the kind of couple on campus that, at first glance, seemed perfect, but you knew all too well what kind of chaos haunted them in private. you were too familiar with how she behaved with jeno; most of the time, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

jeno didn’t even have to say anything when you saw him at your front door. you have grown accustomed to this pattern: the same heartache, apologies, and cycle of hope and disappointment. and every time it occurred, jeno ended up here—at your door, at your couch, sulking.

you wanted nothing more than to scold jeno for letting himself get run over by her, but you kept your lips sealed. deciding that giving him comfort and support was what he needed right now.

“again, huh?” you sat down on the opposite side of him, tucking your legs beneath you.

“i don’t even know what that means, y/n.” jeno sighed, running his hand through his hair. he lifted his head to face you, gaze soft as he held eye contact with you. “one minute, everything’s perfect, and we’re fine, but suddenly, i’ve apparently done something wrong, and she won't even tell me.” his voice cracked, hopelessness evident in his tone. it pained you to see him like this. how many times is he going to let her do this to him?

“well, did you do something wrong?” you asked, but you knew jeno too well, he wouldn’t do anything to sabotage his relationship. sure, he has made mistakes in the past, but he was a good person, a good friend, and a good lover, you suppose.

jeno stayed silent for a moment, recalling if he had done something to make his girlfriend upset. “i–no, at least i don’t think so.” he shook his head, “i’ve just been busy with classes, but i always make time for her. and everything we’re together, i always try to make it special. you know?”

you nodded along to his words, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you have heard this story countless times, you could probably recite it to him. it wasn’t unusual for karina to act like this; she’d get upset over something vague, and then jeno would beat himself up for it, but he’d still bend over backward to get her back.

“maybe she’s just going through something?” you said, trying to think of what to say to ease his mind.

you and karina were acquaintances at best. it’s not like you didn’t try to be her friend, but something about her attitude seems so off-putting. you weren’t entirely sure if karina was fond of you either. of course, you never told jeno any of these. you knew he wouldn’t listen, not when it comes to her. he loves her. he’d return to her every time, like a moth to a flame. and you’d be there, picking up the pieces when he got burned.

“i wish she’d just tell me what’s on her mind instead of leaving me wondering what i did wrong.” his face twisted into frustration with a mix of confusion.

“jen, you know i can’t help you if you don’t tell her what you’re feeling.” this time, you couldn’t hold back. “you’re supposed to tell her these, not me.”

jeno flinched at your words, somehow unsatisfied with your advice. “yeah… you’re right.”

you watched his expression, his eyebrows furrowed while he was deep in thought. “i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear.” you hesitated, knowing you were treading dangerous waters. “i just think… you deserve someone who actually appreciates you.”

jeno stayed silent, processing your words as if he hadn’t told himself that a million times. but for some stupid reason, he couldn’t keep it in his head. he looked down at his phone, tapping the screen once more, but to his disappointment, there was still nothing. “i know you’re just looking out for me, y/n. but… i just can’t give up on her. not yet.”

and just like that, you could feel him slipping away, back into her orbit, leaving you alone with all the things you couldn’t say, wondering when he would run back to you again.

“class dismissed.” the professor announced loudly, making you snap out of your dozy state. you weren't even sure if you paid attention to class today.

you quickly gathered your stuff, students leaving the lecture hall one by one. your phone buzzed in your pocket, fishing for it, you read the message from mark.

mark: yo dude heard jaehyun’s throwing a party tomorrow, wanna come? mark: also i think i saw jeno and she-who-must-not-be-named together

struggling to balance your laptop in one hand and type on your phone with the other; you barely noticed a figure stepping in front of you—until they bumped into you, sending you off balance.

“oh my god!” a familiar voice shrieked, karina. you lifted your head to see her arms linked with jeno. her faced mixed with shock and annoyance.

“sorry!” you mumbled, quickly gathering your belongings to be more composed.

“hey, y/n.” jeno smiled at you, your chest tightened at his bright face. after he visited you a week ago, you haven’t heard much from him, aside from his occasional responses in the group chat you share with mark and haechan. all you knew was he was busy trying to get his girlfriend back. you weren’t sure if they made up, given that he hadn’t contacted you at all, but seeing as they were currently inseparable, you could probably guess their relationship right now.

karina patted down her skirt and top as if she were the one who practically fell. “y/n!” as if it was on cue, she flashed you a smile. “haven’t seen you in a hot minute. you going to jaehyun’s tomorrow?” you felt sick to your stomach. something was unsettling about how karina spoke to you, or maybe it was all in your head, and you were thinking too deeply about it.

you hesitated, glancing down at your phone, rereading mark’s message. did you really want to spend an entire night seeing jeno and karina pressed up against each other now that they were back together?

“i might.” you sent her a small smile, “mark and haechan are going, i think i’ll tag along.” glancing at jeno for a second, who was intently staring at you. a pit formed in your stomach at the sight of him, he looked better compared to last week—more relaxed, at ease.

“great!” karina clapped her hands together, “we’ll see you there.” she took Jeno’s hand, pulling him away with a little more force than necessary. he stumbled slightly, laughing as they disappeared down the hall, his voice echoing through the space and leaving a familiar ache in your chest.

you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the interaction, and texted mark back.

you: where are u? need someone to talk to

“are you even surprised at this point?” mark let out, mouth filled with the sandwich he was munching on. you were both seated in the field of the campus, deciding to reconnect with mother nature after the encounter you just had. you told mark about how you saw them together and how jeno looked happy again. you stayed silent at his comment, closing your eyes as you basked in the sunlight. “how’d you feel seeing them together?”

mark knew you too well. he was one of the people you confided in about your feelings for jeno. him and chaewon, your roommate. in the same way, jeno kept running to you when he was heartbroken, you ran to mark and chaewon whenever you were in the same cycle.

just as jeno used you as his safe place, you had mark and chaewon. they were the ones who listened when you cried, over and over, thinking that maybe this time he’d see you differently. and every time, they were the ones who held you every time you fell down.

you were in love with jeno. how could you not be? you grew up together, spending your childhood years nearly every second of the day. you were there to witness every version of him—his awkward phase in middle school with braces and bowl haircut, the high school years when he was navigating through puberty, and now, the college student jeno admired by everyone.

you were there for it all.

you were six when you witnessed jeno’s first tooth falling out. you couldn’t forget the way the blood dripped from his mouth, making you bawl, yet he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the tooth on his hand.

you were ten when jeno first learned how to ride a bike. he came knocking on your door to show off his skills, but he fell and scraped his knees within five seconds of riding it.

you were thirteen when jeno came to you when he had his heart was broken. he wrote a letter to his crush admitting his feelings for her, but he came crying to you when he got rejected for the first time in his life.

you were eighteen when you and jeno sat in front of your laptops, awaiting the email of the university you had both applied to. you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around each other and squeal when you found out you both had been accepted.

however, you were sixteen when you first well in love with jeno. it was during prom when you got stood up by your date. jeno saw you sulking in the corner of the room, and without hesitation, he ditched his prom date to be with you for the rest of the night. he brought you to the dance floor and danced with you through every song.

every adult in your life was convinced you two would end up getting married due to your closeness, which he would always deny. each phase, each moment with jeno, made you realize how hard you were falling for him. he was your best friend, the only constant in your life. somewhere along the lines, you realized that friendship wasn’t enough for you.

but for jeno, it was the complete opposite. sure, he loved you, loved having you around, but there was this line between the two of you—one he never dared to cross. he was focused on finding love elsewhere, and it never occurred to him to look for it in the person who was always in front of him. you would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t pain you that he has never once looked for love in you.

“does it even matter?” you sighed, feeling the sun dance across your skin. “you know he’ll always run back to her.”

“yeah, because you never told him how you felt.” mark scoffed, setting his half-eaten sandwich down while wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “who knows? maybe he feels the same.”

“don’t.” you warned him, sending him a glare while he just sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. it was too painful to entertain the idea, too exhausting to keep hoping.  you were just his best friend, the person he ran to when he needed comfort, but never the person he’d choose. you hated it. you hated waiting around like a lost puppy for him. “can we just talk about something else, please.”

mark hummed, his eyes roaming around the campus. “why don’t you let loose at jaehyun’s party tomorrow? maybe even look for someone to distract you from him.”

you chuckled, hugging your knees to your chest. “if only it were that easy.”

it’s not like you didn’t try to suppress your feelings for jeno. in fact, you did everything you could think of, even going to great lengths such as downloading a dating app—due to haechan’s insistence to attempt casual flings, kissing random strangers at parties, and even having one-night stands with people from campus. yet no matter how hard you tried, your feelings for jeno still crept up like a shadow you couldn’t escape.

there were moments where you thought you were okay and accepted that you don’t always get what you want in life—until a memory of him would hit you out of nowhere, and you’re back to square one. you get reminded of his laughter, the soft eye-smile he would give you whenever he spotted you in a crowd, and his goofy side, which only came out when he was around you. the memories haunted you whenever you least expected it, and no dating app or reckless decision could erase them.

chaewon stood in front of your closet; arms crossed against her chest as she inspected your wardrobe. you were not afraid to dress slutty, in fact, you had a fair share of provocative clothes stashed somewhere in your closet. but the way chaewon was staring at your wardrobe made you rethink all your fashion choices.

“i should really take you out shopping more often.” she mumbled, more to herself than to you. she began rummaging through the hung clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight. “you’re wasting so much potential.”

you raised an eyebrow, “i think i look fine.” watching as she pulled out different articles of clothing.

“fine isn’t going to get you laid.” chaewon turned to face you, a bunch of different colored tops in her arms. “we need something that screams, ‘fuck you, lee jeno, look what you’re missing out on.’”

you’ve mentioned to her that jeno and karina would be there as a couple again. and she—as the most supportive best friend—made it her personal mission to make you look like the hottest bitch in the party, just to flaunt what jeno had been too blind to see. she wasn’t about to let you shrink in the shadows of jeno and karina’s perfect little bubble. she wanted to make sure that all eyes would be on you.

you sat on the bed, watching her make a mess out of your closet. “i’m not even sure if i’m ready to put myself out there.” you sighed.

chaewon shot you a pointed look, the kind you’d see on your disappointed friend's face. “please. this is why we need to get you into the sluttiest clothes ever. you need to stop thinking of him and start thinking of yourself, y/n.”

chaewon’s words hung heavy in the air. she was right. you needed to stop playing the part of a background character in jeno’s life. it was getting exhausting, and you weren’t sure how long you could keep pretending like it didn’t bother you at all.

“you’re right.” you murmured, fingers playing with another.

her face lit up as she pulled out a black leather mini skirt, paired with a tight red crop top that accentuates your curves perfectly. you forgot you even owned these. “found it!” she squealed, showing you her discovery. “perfect. you look hot in red.” shaking your head at her enthusiasm, you let out a laugh. she chucked you the clothes, taking the sign to go change into them. “babe, if jeno’s dick doesn’t stand up the second he sees you in this, then maybe he is blind!” sending you a wink as you walked into the bathroom.

as you changed into your new outfit, your stomach couldn’t help but flip as you stared into your reflection. chaewon was right, you did look hot in these clothes. you felt silly for putting this much effort into jeno, who would most likely give you a half-assed hug in return.

you shook your head as you tried to push him out of your thoughts. deciding to adjust your top just enough to show off the perfect amount of cleavage. you had to focus on yourself. whether or not jeno would notice you didn’t matter anymore. you were going to have fun.

“dang! look at you.” mark whistled as you walked into the kitchen where he and haechan were situated, with drinks in their hands.

you felt your cheeks heat up under mark’s approving gaze. haechan, on the other hand, was shamelessly checking you out. “was this chaewon’s doing? because, wow, you look amazing.”

their flirting wasn’t something out of the ordinary; you were close friends who knew when to boost each other’s confidence. you couldn’t help but laugh at their comments, eyes wandering around the place. jaehyun’s place was filled with students dancing, chatting, and drinking. lights flashing from the makeshift led lights he probably put up, the crowd bathing in neon lights. the air was thick with sweat, perfume, and cheap alcohol. the music was being managed by johnny, who was the designated dj for tonight.

“looking for someone?” mark teased as he watched you scan the environment, nudging heachan with his elbow, who was smirking.

“no,” you lied, but you knew they could see right through you. “just looking around.” haechan nodded, but his expression showed that you were being dishonest. he handed you a red plastic cup filled with something that smelled fruity but strong. you silently thanked him before drowning the alcohol down your throat. you couldn’t help but wince at the intense flavor.

“you sure? not looking for someone in particular?” mark chuckled, taking a sip from his cup.

before you could come up with a response, you felt a hand on your shoulder. your body froze before turning around to see who it was. of course, it was who you expected—jeno, with his usual eye smile—enough to brighten up the room. karina, who looked as beautiful as ever, was attached to his side with a smile on her face.

your heart sank, but you kept your expression light, flashing the couple a smile while locking eyes with jeno. you nearly missed the way his eyes traveled down your frame, but you weren’t sure if it was because you were intoxicated or you just wanted him to check you out. you swore his eyes lightly widened, but his gaze returned to karina as if nothing happened.

“hey guys.” jeno greeted, eyes wandering between the three of you but landing on you. you shifted beneath his gaze but shook it off; he was your best friend, of course. you gave him and karina a polite nod, although your stomach was churning at the sight of them.

“jeno!” haechan exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, making karina lightly lose her balance. her expression grew sour at haechan’s actions. “we missed you, man.” he jokingly puckered his lips to plant a kiss on his cheek, but jeno just laughed and tried to dodge his lips.

“here you go, dude.” mark handed jeno and karina a drink which they accepted and drank. the air suddenly felt tight, your chest pounding, so you looked at mark for help. he sensed your uneasiness, placing his cup down on the counter. “alright! time to dance, y/n, come with me.” mark grabbed your hand, guiding you towards the dance floor, feeling a gaze on you as you left the kitchen.

the music was deafeningly loud, bodies bumping into each other as you navigated the living room. you mumbled an apology to every person you hit, nearly stumbling, but mark’s grip on you saved you. once you finally found a spot, you let loose, moving to the rhythm as the lights flashed overhead. haechan and chaewon shortly found you, forming a crowd as you danced.

from across the room, jeno sat on a couch with karina perched on his side, her legs on top of his lap as her fingers ran across the back of his head.

“this party’s boring.” karina complained, letting out a sigh while taking another sip from her cup.

jeno didn’t respond. he wanted nothing more than to join his friends on the dance floor, but he knew it wasn’t karina’s crowd, so he decided to stay with her to avoid getting her upset. “you’ve been awfully quiet. did i do something?”

jeno shook his head, eyes landing on hers. “no,” he grasped her hand in his. “don’t you want to dance?”

“you know i’m not into this kind of scene, jeno. why’d we even come here?” karina scoffed, pulling her legs off his lap and crossing her arms. jeno pursed his lips, the tension between them rising.

“you said you wanted to see what the fuss was about, babe.” jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i thought we could have fun together with my friends for once.”

“what’s that supposed to mean!” karina snapped, but jeno was listening to someone else in particular; a burst of laughter from the dance floor caught his attention. his eyes instinctively found you, spinning with mark and chaewon, a carefree smile on your face. he nearly sulked as he watched his friends have fun while he was sitting in a corner.

karina’s eyes followed to where jeno was staring at, her expressions souring even more once he realized jeno wasn’t even listening to her. “of course,” her voice cut through his trance. “you’re not even paying attention to me.”

chaewon caught what was stirring from the corner of her eyes, nudging you. “uh oh, trouble in paradise again.”

you sneaked a glance at where they were sitting; it was easy to spot jeno in a crowd. his back was hunched, karina’s eyebrows furrowed while speaking to him. you almost felt sorry for him.

jeno’s gaze met yours, you quickly looked away to pretend you were not snooping on them, but you knew he saw you staring anyway. you shook off your thoughts, trying to focus on having fun with your friends. you hated the effect he had on you. you hated how easily he got under your skin, how his presence could unravel the fragile composure you worked so hard to maintain.

meanwhile, karina had grown tired of jeno’s distracted demeanor. she stood up abruptly, clutching her purse in her hands. “i’m leaving.” she told jeno, annoyance evident in her tone.

“babe, wait—” jeno stood up, catching her arm, but she shrugged him off.

“stay if you want. don’t bother following me. i’ll text you whenever.” she snapped before storming out of the room.

jeno stood there, watching her back, slowly immersing herself in the crowd. for some reason, he couldn’t move; he didn’t want to move. the guilt of letting her storm off alone clashed with the relief of not encountering a full-on argument. he knows his actions will probably lead to a massive fight with her again, but he was just too tired to deal with it tonight. his eyes trailed back to where you were dancing, but you were no longer there; only mark and haechan remained.

you couldn’t handle another second of witnessing jeno and karina together. you decided to escape the crowd and find an empty room to gather your thoughts. thankful that jaehyun’s house was large enough to have an unoccupied room. the noise from the party was muffled the second you shut the door behind you.

you sat on the edge of the bed, sighing as you ran your hand through your hair. get it together. you scolded yourself before plopping back on the soft mattress. tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, but the sight of jeno with her was too unbearable. the room became unbreathable as thoughts clouded your mind. you often wondered why jeno couldn’t just look at what was in front of him. the way he made you feel like a teenager pining over her crush made you laugh.

soft knocks on the door snapped you back to life. curious, you stood up and hovered over the doorknob.

“y/n?” the voice from the other side of the door called out, making your breath hitch. “are you in there?”

jeno. why was he here? how did you know you were here? you hesitated before grabbing the doorknob and turning it to open the door. there he was—clad in a black shirt with some jeans, yet he still looked like he was crafted by the gods.

“jeno? what are you doing here?” you resisted the urge to ask him why he wasn’t with his girlfriend, but from the looks of the events earlier, they probably quarreled again.

jeno didn’t respond, instead, he moved past you and into the room you were occupying. you shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it because you saw no need to. he sat on the edge of the bed, where you had previously sat.

you were lost. you don’t know how you should act right now, and jeno seemed so defeated.

“you’ve been avoiding me all night.” jeno spoke, his eyes trained on you. you were leaning against the door, a wide distance between the two of you.

you nearly laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “i wasn’t avoiding you, jen. you were just busy with karina the entire night.” it was true, you had no intentions of ignoring him. in fact, a part of you wanted to see him, to see you. even though you convinced yourself that tonight was about you, it wouldn’t hurt if he saw the effort you put on today.

he took a second to scan your frame, his lips tugging into a small smile when he reached your face. “you look nice.” your heart leaped at his compliment. throat going dry as you thought of words to say to him.

“you’re not so bad yourself.” you chuckled. the air felt thick, you weren’t sure if it was only on your end. you couldn’t help but let your eyes roam his body as well. you knew jeno was fit—he was always diligent about his attendance at the gym—and it surely didn’t help your thoughts that you had a massive crush on him. he looked great, so hot. it made it hard to think straight.

jeno’s eyes didn’t leave yours, his gaze was so intense that it made you want to cower and run away. you cleared your throat. “why are you here, jeno?” you asked, breaking the silence. even though you already anticipated the answer.

“we fought.” you knew it. “i just… i needed to get away for a bit.” of course, why else would he seek for you?

your heart banged against your chest. you wanted to comfort him, to be his solace as you had always been, playing the part of his best friend. but at the same time, you hated being his safe space, you hated how he ran to you only when things got messy with her. it was not fair.

“does she know you’re here?” you asked cautiously, watching as his face twisted into worry.

“she left.” jeno shook his head, leaning back against the mattress with his hands bracing him. you hated how casual he was being. “said i could stay here if i wanted.” his voice laced with frustration, eyes falling to the floor.

you nodded slowly, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from uttering words that you’d soon regret. as a best friend, you were supposed to tell him to go after her, to patch things up with her like he always does. but tonight, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted him to stay.

“and you came here?” the words left your mouth, and you regretted it immediately.

jeno lifted his head, eyes meeting yours once again. “yeah.” he said, standing up from his spot, taking careful strides towards you. your eyes widened when he approached you. “i came here.” he stopped in front of you, making you take a step backward, but your back just hit the wall, preventing you from moving any further. his frame towering over yours.

there were warning bells ringing in your ears as jeno’s eyes flicked down to your lips. it was subtle, but it was enough to send your thoughts spiraling. your mind was screaming at you to move, to say something, to do anything—but all your heart could focus on was him.

what was he doing?

he was getting dangerously close to you. his perfume hitting your nose, the familiar scent taking over you. the silence in the room was loud, his hand landing on the space next to your head, resting on the wooden door.

“jeno…” your voice came out soft, almost whisper-like, pleading him. although you weren’t entirely sure if you were pleading for him to stop or continue. your pulse racing as he leaned even closer, the gap between you shrinking. the invisible barrier you’d tried so hard to build came crashing down as his intoxicating scent painted the room with tension that grew impossibly thick.

jeno paused to stare into your eyes, looking for signs of doubt in them. his movements were cautious, as though he was giving you time to stop him—but your body betrayed you as you stood frozen in place.

this wasn’t—shouldn’t— supposed to happen. this wasn’t you. you weren’t supposed to have him this close to you—not when he wasn’t yours to begin him.

but the way he looked at you now, like you were his favorite dessert that his mother told him he couldn’t have at a grocery store, made it so hard to pull away.

“i—we can’t.” you croaked out, your voice betraying you.

“tell me to stop.” jeno mumbled, his lips barely grazing yours.

stop.

stop!

you couldn’t stop.

jeno crashed his lips to yours. his taste greeting your tongue, the flavor of alcohol mixed with something uniquely him. you gasped into the kiss, eyes shutting as your hands instinctively flew to his chest while his mouth moved against yours. he didn’t miss the opportunity to slide his tongue between your parted lips, roaming it around. you felt your knees weaken.

jeno was kissing you. and you were kissing him back. the moment you had dreamed of and longed for was becoming a reality. it was real—vivid, and more overwhelming than anything you could imagine.

his hands fell to your waist, pulling your body flush against his. your hands gripped his shirt, tugging him close to you. the heat of his body pressed against yours, sending shivers down your spine. the feeling of him getting hard against your thigh snapped you back to your senses. your eyes fluttered open with a surge of panic before pushing his body away. what have you done?

“what the fuck.” you whispered, hand reaching up to touch your lips that were on his mere seconds ago as if you couldn’t believe the affair that just occurred.

“y/n—“ jeno started, arms reaching out for you. but you pulled away from him. “hey, it’s okay.” he assured you. his expression turning soft as he watched your panicked state. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have—”

the kiss was replaying in your head, the vivid moment playing repeatedly to remind you it was immoral. but deep inside, you were floating on the clouds. jeno kissed you. you weren’t sure if you were sorry to begin with.

“i-i need to go.” you mumbled, turning around and grabbing the doorknob. jeno took a step back to give you some space.

“let me explain.” jeno called out, but you were already scrambling towards the door, needing to create distance between the two of you, leaving him and your chaos of emotions behind.

“i’m so excited!” chaewon squealed as she held onto your hand, practically dragging you towards the bus.

it was the annual retreat the student council had organized to help students destress and bond outside of academic pressure. this year, the arts and business departments were grouped to blend creativity and strategy. since you and chaewon were both visual design students, you agreed to be seatmates on the bus. mark and haechan were also coming along because they were music and dance majors, respectively. while it sounded like an excellent opportunity to unwind, you knew it also meant that jeno and karina would be there since they were a part of the department as business and fashion majors.

you haven’t spoken to jeno since your last encounter. you weren’t sure you had the right words to say to him. no one knew of what happened that night, and the guilt was clawing you alive. you contemplated whether to tell chaewon about it. you knew she was going to be by your side, but admitting that you kissed jeno while he was in a relationship with karina was something you didn’t want to say out loud. admitting it would make it real. and making it real meant facing the truth: you kissed someone else’s boyfriend. even if he started it.

the mere thought made you shiver. although jeno was equally responsible for the kiss that he initiated, you wondered if he told anyone about it, if he regretted it, or if he thinks about it as often as you did.

you would be lying to yourself if you said that you had already forgotten about the kiss. the memory of kissing someone you were in love with was not easy to bury. the feeling of his lips on yours haunted you on nights you couldn’t sleep, your heart racing at the faint thought of it.

you found yourself seated in the middle section of the bus. chaewon begged for the window seat, striking a deal to share her stash of snacks in exchange. students gradually filled the bus, mark and haechan seated on the aisle across from you, their banter already filling the air. it wasn’t long before jeno and karina boarded the bus, karina leading jeno with her hand in his. for a brief second, you locked eyes with jeno, whose face was filled with sorrow when he looked at you. you loathed it.

you quickly broke eye contact, but you swore his gaze lingered on you a bit longer. you faced chaewon, who was telling you about her latest boy drama. she noticed that your expression had shifted; she turned her head to see where you were just looking, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the couple.

“are you and jeno alright?” chaewon whispered, leaning towards you. “don’t think i saw you guys together since the party.” you stiffened. she was right.

chaewon was observant. she knew you too well. she noticed the small things, like how you look for jeno in crowds or how your mood shifts downward when you spot him with karina. it had been two torturous weeks since the party, since you had a secret you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell anyone. two weeks of trying to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything—when deep down, you knew it meant everything.

and two weeks' worth of unread messages from jeno.

you thought back to the notifications you had stared at countless times, your heart clenching every time his name lit up your screen.

jeno: hey jeno: how are u? jeno: we should really talk jeno: let me know when ure free jeno: i miss u y/n jeno: pls dont ignore me

you had read them all. your fingers hovered over the keyboard countless times, thinking about what to say to him. what were you supposed to say? that you were in love with him? that the kiss meant everything to you while it was probably a drunken mistake for him? that you were drowning in guilt but couldn't help but think about the kiss? you decided that saying nothing would be better, giving you time to gather your thoughts.

but no matter how you tried, jeno was everywhere. in the halls, in your dreams, and now, on this godforsaken bus.

“yeah.” you smiled at chaewon, pulling on her arm so you could nest your head against her shoulder. “i’m just sleepy.”

“my ass hurts.” haechan whined dramatically as you got off the bus. mark chuckled at him while he extended his arms. the ride took three hours and you were all sore from sitting down, eager to stretch your legs. but the view was worth the pain.

the beach house that the council rented was massive. its modern design stands out against the blue ocean and white sand. large glass windows reflected the sun rays, and the sprawling deck held enough space for barbecues and hangouts. off to the side were lounge chairs arranged neatly with umbrellas softening the harsh sunlight. the waves crashing softly against the shore added a soothing background hum, instantly washing away some of your earlier tension.

“alright, everyone!” one of the council—who you recognized was soobin—announced, making heads turn to face him. “we’ll be assigning rooms in fifteen minutes. grab your stuff, and let’s meet in the living room.”

moments later, the group navigated to the now cramped space. you were sure there were at least twenty students in your house, and you wondered if it was enough to fit all of you. the rest are probably in the beach houses next door. the living room buzzed with activity. some familiar faces are scattered around the area; you gave them a polite nod when you met their eyes, thankful that they returned the gesture. you settled for the vacant space on the couch, with chaewon trailing behind you.

“settle down, guys.” soobin cleared his throat. the noise in the room died down, with jisung and chenle the last ones to squeeze into the room. soobin lifted his phone, assuming to read off the names and room assignments. “some already requested to be paired before this trip, so let me tell you which rooms you’ll be in.”

“chaewon and y/n.” soobin called out, head whipping to look for us, nodding once he spotted us. “you’ll be in room 3.”

chaewon let out a tiny clap with her hands, smiling at you brightly, to which you returned the energy. soobin continued announcing the names of the students who would be roomed together. mark and haechan are paired in the room across the hall from yours.

“i know some of you requested to be with your partners, but the school board requires us to separate male and female students.” soobin started, groans echoing throughout the room. “i know, i know. but this will just be for formalities. what you do after lights out is none of our business.” his comment drew waves of laughter and grins.

“jeno and renjun.” he continued, looking around the room. “room 6.”

the sound of his name made your stomach drop, nearly forgot that he was in the same room as you. you tried to keep your expression neutral as your eyes shifted to him, who was leaning against the wall with karina on his side.

“find your rooms and settle in. dinner’s at six. feel free to explore the area until then.” soobin finally finished disclosing information, and everyone hurried off to find their respective rooms.

chaewon led the way to your room, with you trailing behind her, struggling to navigate the vast house with your bags. the weight of your stuff was slowing you down, and you silently cursed yourself for your overpacking tendencies. startled, a pair of hands who obviously saw you struggle helped you carry them. you lifted your head to say thank you, but the words got stuck in your throat when you locked eyes with your rescuer, jeno.

“i could’ve carried them.” you mumbled, watching as he effortlessly carried your bag with one arm, and—you're assuming—his and karina’s bag in another. speaking of, where was she?

“just accept the help.” jeno replied, his tone simple. a wave of emotions washing over you—guilt, confusion, and something you did not want to name. this was the first time you’d talked to him since the incident. “lead the way.” pursing your lips, you ascended the stairs, feeling him trace your steps but not utter a word.

shortly, you found chaewon standing in front of a bedroom door, which you’re guessing is your room. her eyes widened when she saw who was behind you, but you’re thankful she didn’t mention anything.

“i can take it from here.” you told jeno, who nodded. he handed you your bag, his fingers grazing your skin as you retrieved it from his grasp. you don’t know if you were going crazy, but you swore sparks shot out of your entire body from the mere touch of his skin.

get a hold of yourself.

you thought to yourself. you have experienced jeno’s touch before, but why were you acting like a teenage girl who got to hold her crush’s hand for the first time?

you muttered a thank you to jeno before following chaewon, who had already entered the room. but before you could cross the doorway, you felt a hand on your arm. your heart speeded up at the contact. head turning to face him, he opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out.

“can we talk?” jeno asked, his eyebrows twisting in concern. “please?”

“later.” you affirmed, sending him a weak smile. “come over later.”

his lips tugged upward into a tight smile before nodding and walking away to enter his room, which you saw was just a few doors away from yours.

you shut the door behind you once you entered the room, sighing against it. chaewon watched you with worried eyes, and it took everything in you not to admit to her and cry in her arms. still, the weight of her stare told you that she knew something was wrong.

“had a small fight with jeno.” lie. “don’t worry, i’m used to fighting with his ass.” you dryly laughed. you knew she didn’t buy it but decided to let it go, not wanting to pry when you’re obviously not in the mood to talk about it.

you took this time to scan the room. two single beds in the middle of the room with a bedside table separating them. light blue wallpaper covering the wall, the sunlight peeking through the glass windows. and the view showcased the ocean’s beauty, which made you smile. maybe this retreat wouldn’t be so bad after all?

“you look hot!” chaewon complimented as you slipped into denim shorts. you were wearing a light pink two-piece bikini that was enough to prevent public indecency.

haechan texted you, saying that he, mark, and a few other people were hanging by the beach, and of course, you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to feel the ocean breeze on your skin. you immediately pulled out the bikini you packed for this trip.

“look who's talking!” you giggled, pointing to her black bikini that perfectly hugged her body. “who will be the lucky guy tonight?” you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly, which she just laughed at.

“whoever it will be, i just hope he’s good in bed.” chaewon fake sighed, making you jokingly pat her arm.

the sun was about to set. some students were already grilling dinner to serve to everyone, and some were mingling by the pool. you could not wait to spend time with your friends to take your mind off him.

the two of you left your room and walked down the hall towards the beach. the faint sound of familiar voices filling the air as your toes reached the sand. you spotted mark, whose back was facing you, seated on a camp chair circling a fire. the cool breeze brushing against your skin as you neared them.

“there you guys are!” haechan exclaimed once he spotted you. he patted the empty chair for you to sit next to him, which you did. chaewon sat on the empty one next to yunjin, who was also in your year. you said your greetings to everyone around the fire, thankful that you were familiar with all of them.

the scent of the ocean filled your nose. the sounds of seagulls flying echoed the air. the warmth of the fire dancing on your skin. it felt soothing not to have to think about the stress of academics. however, your solace was cut short when a familiar couple took the spot directly in front of you.

“why don’t we play a game!” jisung, seated beside haechan, suggested, voice cutting through the conversation.

“what are we? twelve?” chenle scoffed, leaning against his chair while taking a sip out of his cup.

jisung smirked, punching him lightly. “come on, live a little, you prude.”

“bet you’re going to suggest tru-“

“truth or dare!” jisung suggested, eyes lighting up mischievously, earning a chorus of groans from the crowd, which you chuckled at.

“i think it’ll be fun!” chaewon chimed in, voice raising as she clapped her hands.

jisung scanned the area, “alright, let’s see!” a finger tapping his chin as he picked his first target. “jeno, truth or dare?” all eyes landed on him, including yours, watching as he contemplated what to choose.

jeno chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “truth.” 

“boring.” jisung groaned but conjured up a question anyway. “who is the prettiest woman in this circle? and it doesn’t have to be your girlfriend!”

“jisung, you’re being weird.” renjun interjected, shaking his head in disapproval.

“what! it’s called truth or dare for a reason.” jisung defended, putting his hands up in defense.

jeno stayed silent for a second before he lifted his head. you swore his eyes lingered on you for too long before uttering his answer. “karina, of course.”

“boo!” jisung chanted, but some were in awe of his loyalty to his girlfriend. karina, who was next to him, jokingly rolled her eyes before kissing jeno on the cheek. you stayed silent, chewing on your bottom lip, trying to avert your gaze from the affectionate display.

“eric!” jisung called out. heads turned to him, who was seated beside you. you followed their gaze to see the handsome male.

“dare.” eric smirked, leaning forward in confidence.

“finally, someone who’s not a pussy.” jisung grinned mischievously, rubbing his hands together. “i dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this circle.”

“dude, what is your obsession with pretty girls.” you heard mark whisper.

the circle broke into fits of laughter, but what happened next came as a shock to you. eric turned to face you, your eyes widening once you realized what he was asking. the laughter died down as everyone’s attention shifted towards the two of you. his eyes met yours, and your heart began pounding as the realization hit.

“what—” you started, but the words barely left your mouth before eric leaned in. his lips inches away from you, staring into you as if he was silently asking for permission. you froze, not retracting your face away. you gave him a tiny nod of confirmation. he placed a soft kiss on your lips, lingering just a second too long for it to feel innocent.

the group erupted into a mix of cheers, gasps, and whistles.

“my guy didn’t even hesitate!” mark exclaimed, patting eric on the arm. you pulled away from eric, cheeks heating up from the amount of people witnessing the dared kiss.

you didn’t want to, but you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at jeno. his expression was curious, his previous relaxed demeanor replaced by something you couldn’t understand, making you wonder if it was because of you.

eric leaned back into his seat, a cheeky grin on his lips. “sorry if it was too forward.”

you let out a small laugh, brushing it off. “it’s fine.” tucking a strand of hair behind your ears.

“moving on!” jisung announced, “renjun, truth or dare?”

jisung’s words faded away as your attention averted to something—someone—else. from the corner of your eye, jeno’s gaze was flickering between you and eric, his jaw clenching as he gripped the red plastic cup in his hand.

haechan leaned to you, mouth near your ear. “think that’s because of you?” he whispered as if he read your mind. he was always the one to tease you about your feelings for jeno.

“don’t be absurd.” you glared at him, pushing him away, but he only laughed. but deep inside, your thoughts were all over the place, with jeno’s reaction lingering in the back of your head, making things feel infinitely more complicated.

a knock on your door pulled you out of your trance. you decided to head back to your room, leaving the group behind to catch up on some well-deserved sleep. you were feeling overwhelmed with the social interaction you had to go through today, quietly slipping yourself away from haechan’s coercion of trying to make you stay longer. not to mention it seems like jeno and karina were getting heated up from the amount of affection they were displaying. you did not want to stick around when things escalated.

curious, you stood from the bed and gripped the doorknob before turning it and opening the door.

“hey.” jeno greeted, a sheepish smile on his face.

the wind was knocked out of you. you forgot you asked him to come over, seeing him in front of you made you nervous.

“jeno.” you breathed, .

“can i come in?” red exclamation marks were clouding your vision, but you shook them off, pulling the door wider so he could pass through.

jeno stayed silent as he entered your room, eyes wandering around the place for a second before facing you. you were almost certain you felt deja vu by your current positions.

“i wish you would stop avoiding me.” jeno started, “i know what i did was uncalled for, but i—it was—“

“did you tell her?” you interrupted, voice sounding sharper than you intended.

“i—no.”

“jeno.” you glared at him.

“i know! i feel so fucking guilty about it, too, okay? but i—“ jeno took a step forward to you. “have a lot in my head.”

“imagine how i feel!” you shot back, voice jumping an octave. “i made out with someone else’s boyfriend.” you whispered the last part as the weight of your words sank in.

“fuck, y/n. it’s not easy for me either.” his eyes were trained on you with an expression plastered on his face that you couldn’t quite understand.

“what are you saying?” frustration lacing your voice.

jeno thought for a second, letting the silence fill the air as he racked his mind of what to say. “do you like eric?”

“what? no!” you replied instantly to his ridiculous question. why does he even care if you had feelings for eric?

“does he kiss better than me?”

“are you insane?” you spat. “are you literally joking about this right now?”

“i’m not joking.” jeno inched closer to you. your heart racing once his scent reached your nose, his warmth radiating off his body. “does he?”

thoughts clouded your mind. why would he even care if eric was a good kisser? he had karina. a girlfriend who he had been with for years. “i’m not answering that.” you shook your head, crossing your arms across your chest in an attempt to build a wall between the two of you.

“i want to kiss you again.”

“what?” your knees grew weak at his confession. staring at him as if he had three heads. was he hearing himself right now?

“can i?” jeno grabbed your arms, making them uncross from your previous stance. so much for building a wall. “kiss you…” he dropped his grip from your arms, caressing your cheek with his hand. “again?” his thumb sliding down just enough to reach your lips.

“jeno…” you begged, almost sounding like a whimper.

“just… one more time, please?” he pleaded, gaze dropping to your lips. you didn’t miss the way he licked his lips before flickering his eyes back to meet yours.

“this is wrong.” you whispered, voice unsteady. your words contradict your actions.

“i know.” his breath fanned your face. “but i can’t stop thinking about our kiss.” his lips dangerously close to yours. the weight of his confession sending you into a spiral. “tell me to leave.”

you stayed silent. the words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation. the internal battle inside you faltered as you slowly caved in. you slightly shook your head no, and that was all he needed.

jeno kissed you like he had been waiting his whole life for it. you reciprocated his energy, arms flying around his neck to tug him closer to you. his arms wrapping around your waist to pull your body against him. you whimpered against his lips when you felt his cock hardening, just by your mere.

“fuck.” jeno whispered, hands cupping your face as he pulled away from your lips. “i need you so bad.” desperation lacing his voice.

“w-what?” you froze, not expecting things to escalate so quickly. “jeno, kari-”

“she’s mad at me.” oh. “told me not to bother looking for her tonight.” his expression turned sour from mentioning her girlfriend. odd.

your heart raced. is that why he was here? to look for release?

as if he read your mind, he was quick to respond. “you’re not a placeholder for her, y/n.” this was the first lie jeno told you. “i’m here for you.” he reassured.

jeno leaned in and kissed you again, the kiss soft and filled with need. your mind is still on the fence about the entire situation, but by the simple “please?” he uttered, your walls came crashing down. it felt like you two were the only people on earth.

one thing led to another; you found yourself laying on the mattress with jeno in between your legs. his lips on yours as he kissed you hungrily, his hands playing with the hem of your shirt. he pulled away from you, looking at you for confirmation before you nodded. he slipped the shirt off your frame, eyes roaming your bra-clad body the second you were exposed.

feeling vulnerable beneath his gaze, you moved to cover yourself, but his grip on your arms prevented you from doing so.

“don’t.” he muttered, leaning down to place a kiss on your chest. “beautiful.” his hand snaked behind your back, his fingers grazing the clasp of your bra. “can i?”

you nodded, and in a swift motion, the clothing fell down your chest. your heart speeding up as his fingers trailed from your back to just below your breast. he looked into your eyes for any signs of doubt, but you didn’t provide any. you needed him badly.

you reached for his shirt, tugging it as a sign. he noticed the signal and pulled away from you, lifting his shirt off his body. your eyes shamelessly traveling down his toned chest, feeling a wave of heat forming between your legs. damn his addiction to working out.

“you can touch me, you know.” jeno chuckled once he saw your mouth slightly part at the sight. you took his words as a sign to caress his chest, down to his abs and just above his abdomen, making him groan. “didn’t know you’d be such a tease.”

“shut up.” you mumbled, hands playing with the buttons of his jeans. “i’m taking my time.” you admired his body; after all, you had only been dreaming of this moment.

“oh?” jeno teased, grabbing you by the thighs and pulling you down so your core was close to his crotch, making you gasp. “well, i need you now.” he whispered before attaching his lips to yours, hand reaching up to your breast to knead the skin, making you moan against his mouth. his free hand reached in between your bodies to cup your core, the wetness seeping through as he gently rubbed up and down.

his cock growing against your core, feeling your body heat rise at the sensation. his fingers hooked the waistband of your shorts before sliding them down your legs, leaving you completely exposed.

in an abrupt motion, jeno took off his pants and boxers. his cock springing against his abdomen, the head red and precum spilling from the tip. you licked your lips before reaching to pump his cock. he was so big and thick, better than you could ever imagine.

“fuck.” jeno grunted against your touch, hips bucking to meet your hands. “i-i don’t have any condoms.”

“just pull out, i trust you.” you bit your lip. “and i’m on the pill if that helps.”

“why didn’t you start with that?” jeno replaced your hand with his. aligning his length with your entrance. spreading your wetness with the head of his cock.

you whimpered at the sensation before he slowly pushed into you. muted gasps leaving your lips,  mouth falling agape as you grew accustomed to his size.

“shit—“ jeno’s hands fell to your hips, gripping on the skin. “you’re so tight.” he said, fully burying himself into you. your insides were burning from the lack of foreplay, but you didn’t care; you wanted him—needed him—before he slipped out of your grasp again. tears pricked your eyes as he adjusted himself. he stayed still, waiting for any confirmation from you. “i know, i know.” he muttered, pressing a kiss on your forehead once he saw your pained expression. “it’ll feel better, i promise.”

a few moments later, you tapped his thigh as a signal. he carefully moved his hips, slowly thrusting out before fully pushing in again. once you got used to his movements, moans spilled from your lips. he took this as a sign to increase his speed.

“god—“ you cried out, hands gripping the sheets beneath you. “jeno!”

his hands reached for your breasts, massaging them while simultaneously playing with your nipples. your back arched against the mattress when his fingers circled the sensitive buds.

your hips bucked up in an attempt to meet his thrusts, making him pick up the pace even more. “so good for me.” he praised, making your head dizzy. his lips find your neck, sucking and licking on the skin.

lewd sounds escaping your lips from his actions. your hand flew to grip his hair, tugging it lightly, making him grunt. the familiar knot forming in your stomach as he picked up his pace. your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, the new position allowing him to bury his cock even deeper.

you cursed out his name as his tip perfectly hit the spot that drove you insane. “f-fuck.” you managed to let out. hands falling to his shoulder, fingernails slightly digging into his skin.

sweat trickled down jeno’s forehead as he pulled away from your neck. his eyes trained on you—his best friend—as you took his cock.

“are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” jeno grunted, watching your breasts bounce from his every thrust. he licked his lips at the sight.

you nodded, biting on your lip. “god—yes!”

jeno slipped his hand in between your bodies, fingers finding your clit. he circled the sensitive nerve, adding even more pleasure, making you near your orgasm even more.

“come on, baby.” jeno whispered, lips capturing yours. “cum for me.”

you clenched around him. your release begging to be freed, with a few more thrusts from him. you came crashing down on his cock. moaning loudly as you chased your high. you were thankful that almost everyone was busy getting drunk on the beach.

“oh my fucking god.” jeno groaned, watching as you squirmed beneath him. your back arching, giving him a perfect view of your tits. and soon enough, his orgasm hit him; he quickly pulled out, spilling his cum all over your stomach.

you lay there breathless, chest heaving as you recovered from your high. jeno pulled his body away from you, walking into the connected bathroom before coming back with a roll of tissue. he peeled a fair amount before rushing to wipe his cum all over you.

you giggled when his hands reached your sides, feeling ticklish. you watched him clean you up, and suddenly, reality came crashing in.

you just fucked someone else’s boyfriend. the air suddenly felt tight as jeno trashed the dirty tissues. he reached for his pants, slipped them on before reaching for your clothes, and placed them near you.

“oh my god.” you whispered as your realization kicked in. your hands reaching for the covers to hide away from him somehow.

“what’s wrong?” jeno asked, brows furrowed as he watched you try to scramble away from him.

“jeno, we just fucked.” you reminded him, reaching for your shirt to cover yourself up.

“we’ve literally known each other for years, y/n. i don’t think now’s the time for you to be shy.” he chuckled, slipping his shirt on.

“that’s not—jeno, what about karina?”

jeno froze, expression twisting into worry at the mention of his girlfriend’s name, but he quickly shook it off, masking his unease. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of it.” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with you. his words felt empty, a hollow reassurance that only deepened the pit in your stomach. you weren’t exactly sure what he was promising—what was he going to take care of? “i can’t stay here tonight.” he moved closer to the doom “i’ll see you soon?” his hand lingered on the doorway, finally fixing his gaze on you.

then it hit you like you were punched in the gut, and it all made sense now. you weren’t sure if jeno was here to patch things up with you or dig a hole even deeper, but given your past activity, you could only guess he made the decision for the latter. jeno was just here for a quick release. and who better to turn to rather than his best friend—the one he knew would always bend over backward for him?

you sat there, unable to move. you were equally to blame. you had let this happen. you let yourself fall down his trap, even though warning signs blared in your mind. you let yourself believe that he was capable of having feelings for you beyond friendship.

“right,” you nodded curtly, voice barely audible. “see you.”

jeno hesitated for a second, “don’t be a stranger, okay?” he said before slipping out the door. the soft click of its closing was deafening, and the silence that followed felt suffocating.

your gaze stilled on the door. his presence still lingering at the back of your head. he said he couldn’t stay, but you wondered if he wanted to. or were you just a convenient distraction, someone to make him feel grounded while he sorted his mess with karina?

tears welled in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away. chaewon could be coming in any second—quite grateful that she didn’t when jeno was balls deep in you—and you refused to show any vulnerability, not when it comes to him. not this time, you couldn’t keep doing this—not to him, or karina, and definitely not to yourself.

your little secret was eating you alive.

here you sat, curled up on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment with chaewon. it was one of those rare nights when you and your friends—chaewon, mark, haechan, and jeno (when he wasn’t busy quarreling with karina)—could indulge in your movie night tradition.

the aroma of buttered popcorn filled the air, and a pile of blankets and pillows was scattered around the room. you were seated on the loveseat couch with chaewon beside you, her legs resting on your lap. mark and haechan were below you, sitting on the air mattress you had put out specifically for this night. and jeno splayed himself on the comfortable armchair. the tv illuminated the room as the opening credits of a classic rom-com played, but you were barely paying attention. how could you? your mind was floating, caught in a web of guilt.

after the encounter you had with jeno, you were convinced he was going to do the right thing—either end things with karina or at least come clean about what happened. but alas, you heard that he somehow made up with her, leaving you wondering and confused.

you felt used. it wasn’t that you expected he would ditch karina and be with you; you weren’t that naive. you simply hoped it would be the start of shifting your relationship—if you could even call it that—with jeno. but instead, he was still hesitant about crossing the line from friends.

jeno was within your peripheral vision, laughing at the comment mark had said about the movie. the sound of his voice made your stomach feel uneasy. he seemed so unbothered, so perfect and fine, yet you felt like you were drowning from the weight of what the two of you shared. it felt unfair.

you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone, not chaewon, not mark. you were carrying the burden alone. but jeno’s every glance at you made your body feel like it was under a spotlight.

it didn’t help that you hadn’t spoken to jeno about it. granted, you were both busy with university and this was the first time you’d been in the same room as him since the trip. talking through the phone just doesn’t seem enough for the weight of your conversation.

“why are you so quiet tonight?” chaewon asked, munching on popcorn. “you okay?”

“of course!” you shot her a smile, reaching for the bowl she had with her and popping some popcorn in your mouth. “just really wanted to watch this movie.” you lied, hoping she wouldn’t see right through you. she believed you, dropping the subject.

if only you could bury the truth as easily as you buried your feelings.

from the corner of your eye, you knew that jeno tuned in to the brief conversation, his expression dropping from the tone of your voice.

the movie continued. the comedic skits drew laughter from mark and haechan. chaewon lets out squeals whenever the main lead does something romantic. despite the bubbly atmosphere, you couldn’t fully immerse yourself in the group. you sneaked another glance towards jeno, whose gaze was directed to his phone.

his screen lit up, indicating a notification, and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. the soft glow gave you enough light to see his jaw tense slightly. you didn’t even have to think for a second that the text had come from karina. you felt foolish for somehow believing him when he said he would take care of it. 

jeno stood up abruptly, drawing everyone’s attention. “i—uh have to go.” he announced, pocketing his phone and reaching for his jacket.

“what? i thought we were having a sleepover!” haechan whined, tossing a piece of popcorn in his direction.

“yeah, dude, the movie was just about to get interesting.” mark chimed in, his eyes darting to the screen, making sure not to miss a scene.

jeno could only muster a chuckle. “sorry, something came up. it’s, uh, family stuff.” he lied through his teeth. his eyes avoided yours no matter how intent you were staring at him, which alone was enough to confirm your suspicion.

why did he lie about seeing karina?

“everything okay?” chaewon asked, concern dripping from her tone.

“oh yeah, nothing serious. they just need my help with something.” jeno assured, enough to not worry anyone.

you stayed silent, watching as he lied about his whereabouts. you merely nodded at his words, not having the right words to say. they all bid their goodbyes, and you managed to utter a tiny “bye” to his departure. you swore he turned back one last time before leaving, not to look at the group but to look at you. the look on his face was unreadable, and you hated how you couldn’t see right through him.

once jeno left, everyone returned their attention to the movie. your chest felt much lighter by his absence, but once you thought about where or who he was going to, you felt a commotion stir inside you.

“how’s it going with you and jeno?” mark casually asked, making you panic. worried that you might have let something slip.

“what do you mean?”

“figured out how to get over that crush of yours?” oh. chaewon and haechan’s ears perked up, looking at you for confirmation.

“i’m trying.” you kept your answer curt, shrinking into the cushions, trying to avoid the discussion.

“you know, i have this friend, and i think he’d be perfect for you.” mark started, head turning to face you, a mischievous smirk plastered on his lips. “good looking, smart, studying for his medical degree, loves cats.” he listed, trying to make his friend sound as attractive as possible.

“what? are you trying to set me up on a blind date?” you raised your brow at him, which he only sheepishly smiled at.

“well, technically, it’s not blind, i have a feeling you’ve seen him around.”

“please! this is exactly what you need.” chaewon chimed in, nudging your body.

“i don’t know…” you trailed off hesitantly.

“why not?” haechan jumped in. “it’s not like you have anything to lose, right? and besides, it’ll be fun.”

“and it will be a good distraction from you-know-who.” chaewon chipped in.

they were all looking you, waiting for your response. you paused, contemplating their suggestion.

they were right. you had to stop considering Jeno in all your decisions. especially after tonight when he so painfully cannot let go of her even after your moment with him. it was clear where you stand in jeno’s life—his best friend who he had slept with. going on a date with a handsome stranger did spark something within you.

“fine.” you sighed, making them cheer. mark already reached for his phone. “don’t make me regret this.”

as excitement filled the room, you couldn’t help but be thankful that your friends were helping you keep your mind off of jeno. maybe this distraction was precisely what you needed.

you fixed your hair in the mirror's reflection one last time before heading out. today was your date with mark’s friend, jaemin. his name sounded oddly familiar to you, but you couldn’t pinpoint where you heard it. you figured it was a common name around the city, so you brushed it off.

to say you were not nervous would be a lie. your heart beat against your chest as you waited for the knock on your door. mark sent you jaemin’s number so you could set up the details yourselves. you’ve briefly exchanged conversations with the mystery guy, and you found out he was in the same year you were at university. it made you wonder if you had crossed paths with him.

jaemin persistently insisted that he come to pick you up at your place, claiming he is a gentleman. which was a massive check in your book, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. it was charming and refreshing. so here you were in a white silky long-sleeve dress that stopped mid-thigh, stocking on, and nice cute heels to go along with the outfit. he had told you to dress not too fancy but not too casual either, and you figured this was the best you could come up with.

moments later, the inevitable knock on your door came. you smoothed out the fabric of your dress before approaching the door.

“hi–” you pulled the door open and faced him, the wind knocking out of your body once you laid eyes on him.

jaemin was gorgeous. his black hair falling in the most perfect way possible. he was dressed in a black shirt that peeked through his jacket, paired with dark denim jeans. he emitted a calm, understated confidence that made your stomach flutter and your cheeks warm.

“hey.” jaemin greeted you, a smile on his lips, his voice warm and comforting. “you look—wow, stunning.” he breathed, feeling shy beneath his gaze.

“hi, jaemin.” you replied, returning his grin. “thank you. you’re not so bad yourself.”

jaemin chuckled, holding out his arm in a cheesy way. “shall we, m’lady?”

“oh god.” you covered your face with your hands.

“i’m kidding.” jaemin reached out to pull your arms away. “come on.” he slipped his grip from your arms to your hands, locking his fingers with yours. a bold move, but you liked it.

jaemin opened the car door for you. you silently thanked him as you slipped into the passenger seat. he closed the door gently before jogging to the driver's side.

“so,” jaemin spoke once he started the car. you turned to face him. “are you nervous?” a hint of playfulness in his eyes.

you couldn’t help but laugh at his question. “kinda.” you admitted.

“good, that makes the two of us.”

the car ride was surprisingly comfortable. the small talk flowed easily, revealing more of his sweet and kind nature. you noticed how he drove the perfect speed to not make you nauseous, how he would avoid the potholes in the street so the ride wouldn’t be bumpy. you were hoping this entire night would keep your mind off the chaos you tried to bury.

he pulled up to a restaurant that was part of town that you were unsure if you’d been to before. the minimal but sophisticated signage illuminated the name that you were sure you couldn’t pronounce.

jaemin didn’t forget to open your car door for you once again. his hand resting on the small of your back as he navigated the both of you through the dimly lit restaurant. fancy. he gave his last name to the host before you were both assisted to your seats. as you followed the steps of your waiter, a familiar laughter erupting in the air made you stop in your tracks

no. it couldn’t be.

“jeno!” jaemin greeted the young man. jeno turned his head as he heard his name called, and his familiar eye smile made its way to his face once he saw jaemin. but his expression quickly faltered when he saw you were next to him. when did this happen? he wondered.

across from jeno was—you already guessed it—karina, who was slicing through her steak, unbothered by the newly arrived presence.

blood raced through your head, feeling dizzy when the two men exchanged greetings and surprisedness. of course, that was why jaemin was so familiar, he was jeno’s roommate! you have only been to jeno’s apartment a few times, and he told you that he had a roommate who was busy with his medical degree, so he always opted to hang out at your place. you never would’ve imagined that he was the same jaemin that lived with jeno. you silently cursed mark and his conniving ways; he probably set this up on purpose, too.

you stood still, watching the scene before you unfold. the air suddenly felt tight as the waiter pointed to the two vacant seats directly beside jeno and karina. ringing noise infiltrated your ears as jaemin smiled and pulled out the chair for you to sit in.

“can—are there any other seats?” you asked the waiter. this time, karina dropped her utensils at the familiar voice, her brow raising at the sight of you. “i just—it’s too hot in here.” you stammered, gripping the back of your chair.

the scene in front of you felt like a cruel twist of fate. the universe couldn’t have planned this better if it had tried. out of all the restaurants in the city, you just had to end up here. with jeno. and karina. together. on the night that you were supposed to forget said people.

“are you okay?” jaemin was quick to your side, worry plastered on his face. his genuineness added to the heaviness of your chest. you sent him a weak smile, brushing off his worries.

“i’m sorry, miss.” the waiter said apologetically, bowing his head lightly. “we are fully booked tonight.” you pursed your lips, nodding at him.

the last thing you wanted was to sit through an awkward dinner with jeno within your eyes and earshot while his girlfriend smugly sat mere inches beside you, completely unaware of what happened between you and jeno. but you couldn’t let jaemin’s effort go to waste. you fixed your posture, grabbing jaemin’s outstretched hand that was waiting for you, and you sat on the chair he pulled out for you.

you couldn’t help it; you hesitantly glanced at jeno, whose gaze was intent on you, jaw almost clenching at your presence. swallowing hard, you lifted the menu to cover your face from his intense stare, questioning what you had done to deserve this.

somehow, jaemin couldn’t sense the tension between you and his roommate. he talked to you with a sweet smile, but you could barely register his words because you kept zoning his words out due to the presence next to him.

“oh! have i told you that this guy,” jaemin pointed his thumb to jeno who suddenly turned to look at him. “is my roommate! what a small world.” he chuckled.

your stomach dropped. of course, he had to bring it up. you chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating whether you should mention the nature of your relationship with jeno.

karina, who overheard your conversation, snickered before chiming in. “of course, she would know, silly! she’s jeno’s best friend.”

“wait, what?” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, gaze flicking from you to jeno. “you two know each other?” he questioned.

“yeah.” you forced a tight lip smile, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “we’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“wait, so you’re y/n—jeno’s y/n?” you winced at his words, hating how you were addressed. he wasn’t yours, and you certainly weren’t his. “oh my god, how didn’t i connect the dots sooner.” he mumbled, more to himself, still surprised by the proximity of relationships.

jeno let out a dry chuckle at his reaction, trying to mask his stern expression. the room suddenly felt hot. you reached for the glass of water and sipped it in the cool liquid to neutralize your throat.

“this makes tonight even better! no first-date awkwardness since you’re practically family with jeno.”

you choked on the water, the liquid spilling from your lips as you coughed, making jaemin’s eyes widen. people started to stare, but jaemin was already rushing to your side to help wipe the spilled water. out of the corner of your eye, you noticed jeno slightly twitch as if he wanted to offer some help but restrained himself, letting jaemin do the work. his jaw was tight; his lips were pressed into a thin line.

you wanted to crawl under the table. family? the word felt like a bucket of ice being poured down your body—literally. the word was laughable, given everything that happened between you and jeno. 

jeno tried to peel his eyes away as jaemin’s hands roamed your body. averting his gaze to karina, his lovely girlfriend. he reminded himself.

once jaemin made sure you were okay, you thanked him, and he returned to his seat, apologizing to the other tables bothered by your sudden outburst. cheeks heating up when you realize a lot of people were witnesses to your clumsiness.

the food you ordered shortly arrived. the smell of freshly cooked meat and pasta filling the air, you hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the plates were set up in front of you. the meal provided a much-needed distraction, and the night seemed to flow more smoothly for a while. jeno finally fixed his gaze to fixate on his date, and you were paying attention to yours.

“hm, what are your pet peeves?” jaemin asked, taking a bite of his food.

you paused for a second, profoundly considering his question. “i hate liars.” you blurted out. you didn’t miss the way jeno’s hand froze mid-way into feeding the spoon into his mouth. “i hate when people tell me they’ll do something or take care of something for me but end up not keeping their end of the bargain.” you kept your tone casual. still, you knew you got the message across—even to the table beside you.

jaemin nodded along. “yeah, i get that.” his tone was empathetic. “it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t follow through. makes them seem untrustworthy.” 

you smiled at him, grateful that he shared the same views as you. you stole a quick glance at jeno, whose gaze was fixed on the plate on the table, but his hand was nearly turning red from his grip on the utensil. karina, who seemed confused by his sudden behavior, reached out to grab his hand in hers, making jeno look up and let out a sigh—you don’t know whether it was one of contentment or annoyance.

“please excuse me, i need to run to the bathroom real quick.” you mumbled to jaemin, flashing him a small smile as you slid your chair back. he nodded, returning a gentle smile, averting his attention to his phone while he waited for you to return.

jeno heard your excuse, eyes scanning karina who was too busy consuming her dessert before flickering to you who disappeared into the hallway that lead to the restroom.

without much thought, jeno impulsively excused himself from karina, muttering something about needing to wash his hands.

you leaned against the bathroom sink, sighing to yourself before running the cold water over your hands to somehow calm your nerves. jeno was confusing you. you hated not knowing what he was thinking, not having control over the situation. you didn’t have it in you to actually talk to jeno about the previous events. you were afraid of hearing the truth—that he chose her, like he did over and over again.

the sound of the bathroom door creaking open brought you to your senses. you glanced in the mirror, expecting another customer, your heart skipping when you saw jeno standing there, his expression unreadable.

“jeno? what are you doing here?” you whispered, eyes wide as you realized he’s in the women’s bathroom.

“jaemin, really?” jeno snorted, face contorting into anger? annoyance? you couldn’t tell, in fact you were confused as to why he was acting out of proportion. “out of all the people, you chose my friend?”

“i didn’t know he was your friend.” you defended, frowning at his accusation. “and why do you care?” you prodded, trying to grasp the situation.

“i don't.” jeno shot back. “as your friend,” he said, as if the word was laced with venom. “i’m just looking out for you. jaemin’s very busy with his degree and i doubt he has time to settle down.”

you couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “that’s rich coming from you.” you spat. “and friend? really? friends don’t do what we did, jeno.” you angrily whispered the last part, cautious of the people around.

jeno lightly flinched at your words, the sentence hanging heavy in the air. you sighed, getting ready to walk past him but he caught your arm before you could leave.

“i’m sorry.” jeno mumbled, regret evident in his eyes.

you shook your head, the lump in your throat threatening to be released. “just go back to her, jeno. isn’t that what you’re best at?” you pushed past him, shoulders brushing against one another, leaving jeno alone in the bathroom.

jaemin drove you back to your apartment. jeno and karina had left moments before you did, allowing you to let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were gone. you offered to pay for half the meal, but jaemin insisted on covering it, even sneaking in a small “you cover it next time,” accompanied by a wink that made your heart flutter.

jaemin was perfect. he lived up to mark’s description of him—kind, sweet, and painfully handsome. you’ve caught yourself staring at his face down to his lips more times than you cared to admit. there were even moments when your eyes drifted to his biceps when he shrugged his jacket off.

but somehow, deep inside, your mind stubbornly drifted back to the one person you wanted nothing more than to forget. seeing jeno witness you on a date to sparked a sense of satisfaction within you—a small win to prove to him (and maybe even yourself) that you were capable of forgetting that night. but the truth lingered in the back of your mind: you hadn’t. the little encounter you had with him also etched in your mind, still wondering what the meaning of all of it was. that night replayed over and over, making it impossible to let go. you convinced yourself that you didn’t care that he was still with karina, but it was like a fever burning you alive. every time you saw her, the weight of your actions dragged you down. you slept with her boyfriend, and no self-justification could erase the betrayal that you had inflicted. you weren’t sure if you could ever forgive yourself for it.

jaemin seemed quieter on the drive home, and you wondered if you ticked him off. he barely spared you a glance, and it made you even more nervous.

did he not enjoy the date? had you done something to upset him?

as he pulled up to your apartment, you beat him to open your door for you, wanting to escape the suffocating confines of the vehicle.

“hey, y/n.” jaemin called out when you barely glanced in his direction, directly jogging to your apartment entrance. you froze in your spot, barely entering your complex when he caught up to you. he stopped in front of you, his frame towering over yours beneath the moon's soft glow.

“did i do anything wrong?” you blurted out, avoiding eye contact with him.

“what? no.” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head, sincerity dripping from his voice. “i was just thinking about how much i wanna kiss you tonight… but i didn’t want to scare you off.” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

the anxiety and tension within your body dissipated from his mere confession. you blinked up at him, processing his words. the knot in your stomach unraveled, and you felt foolish for jumping to the worst conclusion.

jaemin took a step closer, his warmth engulfing you. he lifted his hand, fingers gently tucking the loose strand of hair behind your ear. the soft touch sent a flutter through your body, instinctively leaning against his touch.

“can i?” he asked softly, voice so tender it was enough to make you melt.

you nodded, unable to find the words.

jaemin leaned in, your eyes falling shut as he minimized the distance between you. when his lips finally met yours, it was soft and gentle. his hand cupping your cheek while his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush against his so that you were chest-to-chest.

his kiss wasn’t rushed and overwhelming—it was perfect as if he was savoring every moment.

he pulled away, lips mere inches from yours as you both caught your breaths. “i’ve been wanting to do that all night.”

you giggled at his confession, cheeks burning as you met his eyes. you placed your palms against his chest, fingers tapping. “i’m glad you did.”

jaemin grinned at you, his thumb caressing your cheek. “good.” he said softly. “because i’d like to do it again sometime.”

your lips parted to respond, but he placed a quick but affectionate kiss on your forehead before you could. a small gesture, but it made your knees weak.

“goodnight, y/n.” he mumbled, stepping away from you with a small wave.

“goodnight, jaemin.” you replied, smiling at him.

with one last glance, he turned and walked back to his car, leaving you with a smile you couldn’t seem to wipe away.

“tell me everything!” chaewon’s voice echoed throughout the apartment the second you stepped foot in it. you laughed as she almost tripped, making her way to you. she grabbed your hands, shaking them excitedly. “well?” she questioned, voice jumping an octave. “was he nice? handsome? did you kiss?” she gasped, hand covering her mouth. “did you fuck?”

“chaewon!” you playfully scolded her, as she guided you to the couch. her knees tucked beneath her as she looked at you with wide eyes, waiting for you to fill her on what happened.

you took a deep breath before you disclosed everything that had happened that evening. how jaemin was a perfect guy—not forgetting to mention how handsome he is—and how jeno and karina were at the restaurant you were at, deciding to leave out your encounter with jeno in the bathroom.

“what, what?” chaewon exclaimed, “they were there? out of all places jaemin could’ve taken you to?” she tried to suppress her laughter, but you saw how amused she was by your revelation.

“i know.” you groaned, letting your body fall on the sofa, head landing on her lap. “i’m convinced the universe hates me.” you covered your face with your hands.

“how did you feel?” chaewon asked, patting your head that was laid down on her lap. “when you saw jeno and karina together?”

you pondered for a second. how did you feel? there was a mix of emotions that coursed through you—guilt, anxiety, jealousy, anger. everything felt so different. jeno is—or was—your best friend. whenever you two argued, it could usually be resolved over a shared tub of ice cream, but this situation felt far beyond the reach of simple, sweet solutions.

​​no one knew about what happened that night, and it seemed like he had no intention of telling anyone either. you were equally guilty, of course, having taken part in such a scandalous act. but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak the truth aloud.

“i don’t know.” you mumbled, pulling your hands away. “i told myself before that i’ve accepted it, that he will never like me, but…” you trailed off, contemplating whether you should tell her to truth or just keep it to yourself a little longer. “but i have got to stop lying myself. i’m losing my goddamn mind because of him.” she nodded to your words. “it’s just so hard to pretend that he’s just my friend, chae.” a tear slipped from your eye, and she immediately reached to wipe it off.

chaewon stayed silent, still gently brushing your hair. “it’s okay.” she comforted, flashing you a soft smile. “you can’t just flip a switch and stop caring about someone who’s been such a big part of your life.”

her words struck like a chord. you blinked at her, sighing. “i just thought it would be easier as time passed by.” this time, you couldn’t stop the tears that gushed. you hadn’t realized how much you’ve been carrying alone. it was too much. you needed to clear your head.

“you’re not alone in this, okay? you’ve got me, mark, haechan, and now… even jaemin.” she wiggled her eyebrows, a teasing smile on her lips.

a small laugh escaped you despite the tears. “jaemin.” you repeated, the thought of him momentarily bringing you joy.

“excatly! and from what you told me, he sounds like a dream.” chaewon’s excitement bubbled up again. “now tell me more about him!”

the front door opened and shut, making jeno stand from his bed and walk out to the living room. jaemin was setting his keys down on the counter while shrugging his jacket off when he spotted jeno.

“hey, jeno.” jaemin greeted, smiling at him. “tonight was crazy! i didn’t even know she was the same y/n you told me about.” he recalled, heart feeling warm at the thought of you.

“yeah,” jeno replied gruffly, “so listen,” he started, making jaemin turn to him, listening intently. “y/n’s… my best friend, and i wouldn’t want anything—or anyone to hurt her, you know?” he threaded lightly, careful not to show too much emotion, but enough to get the message across. he knew he had no right to tell you who to date but something about seeing you with jaemin stirred something within him and he didn’t know if he wants to find out.

jeno couldn’t bring himself to admit it. he had been avoiding you as much as you were to him. he couldn’t face the consequences of his actions. this was unlike him. he didn’t mean to lie to his girlfriend—didn’t mean to lie to you. when he told you he was going to fix it, he thought he could get it over with karina. he saw you in the back of his mind every time he closed his eyes. he remembers the soft feeling of your lips against him or how your bodies were pressed up against one another. he felt like shit, having all these thoughts about a girl—his best friend—while he had a girlfriend. but something tugged at his heart, the sight of her brought him back to reality, grounding him.

how could he trade what he had for something uncertain?

jeno loved karina. he. loved. her. so he convinced himself. she was perfect—beautiful, confident, and everything he thought he wanted. he felt a pang of guilt every time he kissed her, every time he touched her. how could he hurt the woman he claimed he loved?

so why did the thought of jaemin kissing you make him feel like he was losing something he never realized he wanted?

jaemin raised a brow but nodded anyway. “of course, man. i like her. i wouldn’t do anything to mess this up.”

all jeno could do was nod, although the weight never left his chest. “thanks, jaem, that’s all i needed to hear.” he forced a smile before retreating back to his room.

your laughter echoing through the hall made jeno freeze. what were you doing here? he thought to himself. he curiously opened his bedroom door, trying to eavesdrop.

“sorry, it’s a bit of a mess. i haven’t had time to clean up.” jaemin nervously laughed, trying to chuck away any trash or mess lying around.

you giggled at his nervousness, “it’s fine, jaemin.”

you were here for jaemin, of course. jeno scoffed, shutting his door to try and drown out the noise.

it had been a week since your first date with jaemin, and the two of you had been texting constantly the minute you parted ways. to say he was great would be an understatement—he was perfect. he knew exactly what to say to sweep you off your feet, leaving you smiling and giggling at your phone more often than you’d like to admit. however, as much as jaemin was perfect, your heart had a way of tugging at you, persistently reminding you of the one person you were trying so hard to erase from your mind.

jaemin invited you over to his—and jeno’s—apartment. you were weary of accepting his invitation at first, not wanting to invade jeno’s space, especially after your encounter with him. but jaemin seemed so excited to see you again, and despite everything, you were, too. you decided not to let jeno affect your relationship with jaemin.

you took a seat on the far end of the couch while jaemin sat on the opposite. he shot you a funny look before patting over to the space beside him. “why are you so far?”

you were as nervous as him. you hadn’t been alone with a boy—other than jeno, mark, or haechan—in so long you weren’t sure if you could contain yourself. after all, you are still a very hormonal girl.

“no reason.” you mumbled, but your expression failed you. you were getting goosebumps with the simple chill of the air. jaemin chuckled, deciding to slide over to your side instead. your thighs touching from his sudden proximity.

“you’re cute.” jaemin muttered, his hand moving to brush the stray hair that fell on your face.

“are you sure jeno doesn’t mind that i’m here?” you questioned, facing jaemin.

“you’re literally best friends, i know he doesn’t mind.” he smirked, eyes falling to your lips.

oh, but jeno minded. he minded a lot. it wasn’t his fault that the walls in this apartment were thin. your voices pierced through, hearing your every word, every laugh. his chest tightening with something he couldn’t quite place his finger on—guilt? frustration? jealousy? all he knew was that hearing you with jaemin felt like a knife twisting deeper with every passing second.

“you’re so beautiful.” jaemin mumbled, licking his lips. you placed your hands on his chest, tugging the collar of his shirt slightly closer to you. his breath fanned your face as he inched closer to you. “just wanna kiss you all day.”

you closed the gap between your lips, savoring his taste. jaemin wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you so that you were straddling his thighs. you gasped at his suddenness, but you secretly liked it anyway, looping your arms around his neck. he effortlessly slipped his tongue into your mouth, taking control, and you let him. 

you felt his growing bulge beneath you, making you giggle into the kiss. you ground your hips against him, pressing onto his cock, eliciting a groan from him. “who knew you were so naughty, hm?”

jeno had enough. he purposely pulled his door open, making a loud enough commotion to have you and jaemin separate from each other. you were about to hop off jaemin’s lap, but his grip on your hips prevented you from leaving.

“jeno, didn’t know you were here!”

“yeah, well, i live here too.” jeno grumbled, pretending to go to the kitchen and look for a drink. he saw you sitting on jaemin’s lap, and it felt like he was punched in the gut.

from jeno’s point of view, he could only see your face and the back of jaemin’s head. jeno’s eyes locked with yours, his jaw clenched as his gaze flickered to the both of you. your cheeks grew warm, your hands resting awkwardly on jaemin’s shoulders as if unsure where they should be.

“please don’t fuck,” jeno paused, eyes directly fixated on you, his eyes dark. your heart sped up, somehow getting his message. “on the couch.” maybe you were reading too much into it.

jaemin chuckled, his grip on you tightened, and suddenly, he stood up and held you in his arms. you yelped, legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. “we’ll move this party elsewhere.” he guided you towards his bedroom, leaving jeno alone in the kitchen with his fist curled up into a ball as he watched you descend into the room.

only a thin wall was separating him from you and jaemin. jeno knew what you two were up to. he sat on his chair, facing his desk, head in his hands as he tried to contain himself. his curiosity got the best of him. he stood up, walking towards the wall that faced jaemin’s room and pressing his ear against the wall.

holy shit. jeno thought. he could hear your soft moans through the mall, his mind flashing back to the night you spent together. the sound immediately traveling to his dick. jaemin either had his fingers or dick in you because the way you were whining for him sounded so pretty.

jeno couldn’t help it, he palmed himself through his pajamas, ear still pressed against the wall.

“fuck, jaemin.” he heard you cry out. he bit his lip, trying to prevent any noise from escaping him as he took his cock out of his bottoms. it didn’t take long before he heard clapping and squelching sounds from the other side of the room.

jeno was upset—upset that he had to listen to another guy fuck you while he pathetically jerked himself off. his fingers wrapped around his length, closing his eyes while he listens to your moans. he imagined you. imagined how you were in his room instead of the other. imagining how it was your fingers wrapped around his cock. he began to stroke himself slowly, his thumb smearing the pre-cum that managed to spurt from his tip.

your moans began to get louder, jeno began picking up his pace. fucking his hand with every sound that left your lips. his mind convinced himself that you were making such pretty noises for him. he contained the grunts that threatened to escape his mouth, lips nearly bleeding from holding back. you began chanting jaemin’s name through breaths, indicating that you were close. jeno continued stroking himself until he came hard with his hand around his length, just from the sound of your moans.

you jolted awake, glancing at the clock, the number 1:43 am on display. after you and jaemin had sex, you immediately passed out, not having a chance to get ready for sleep. jaemin’s arm was lazily wrapped around your waist. you gently pushed it away. your throat felt dry, so you decided to sneak into the kitchen to grab a glass. you picked up the discarded shirt on the ground—most likely jaemin’s—slipped it on, and put on your underwear before tiptoeing out of his room, careful not to make too much noise.

in the midst of chugging down a cold glass of water, the sound of a door opening was heard from the end of the hall. it was jeno’s room. you froze, realizing you were not in proper attire right now. you set the glass on the sink before trying to retreat into jaemin’s room.

“y/n?” jeno’s voice echoed through the hall. you mentally cursed as you got caught, thankful the room was still dark. that was until he met you in the kitchen, hand instinctively reaching for the switch to turn on the overhead lights. his breath hitched once he took in your state. legs bare and nipples hard against your plain white shirt that stopped just below your ass. it was like the universe wanted him to sin. “what are you doing awake?” he managed to let out once his eyes stopped taking in your figure. his voice was rough as if he had just woken up from slumber.

“just thirsty.” you mumbled, cheeks getting warm at your semi-exposed state. jeno wasn’t that covered at all, too. he was in his plaid pajama pants that hung low on his waist, and his chest was bare, his toned abs emphasizing under the dim lights.

jeno hummed, walking carefully towards you. “couldn’t sleep?” 

you nodded, instinctively trying to move further away from him, but you bumped into the kitchen island behind you. trapped, you placed your hands against the counter to support yourself, forcing you to meet his eyes. you couldn’t understand the emotion behind them. your mind was getting hazy from his gaze. as much as you wanted to cower and run away, your feet seemed to stop working for some reason.

jeno leaned in slightly, his arms on either side of you as he gripped the edge of the counter, effectively caging you in. your whole body froze, unsure what to do next. all you know is his scent was once again invading your space. his face was so close to you that it reminded you of the night you spent together.

“why do you keep doing this to me?” he whispered, breath fanning your face.

“i’m not doing anything.” you defended, but your voice came out soft.

“exactly.”

jeno kissed you, and you kissed him back. your arms traveled around his neck, pulling him close to you. notwithstanding the fact that the guy you were seeing was in the other room, merely a few steps away from where you were.

the effect jeno had on you was different, almost perplexing. it was like he knew exactly how to get under your skin—like he knew that you would come crawling back to him like how he would to her.

jeno wrapped his arms around your waist. his tongue effortlessly slid into your mouth, twirling it around yours. suddenly, he hoisted your body so that you were sitting on the island counter, making you gasp through the kiss.

“open your legs for me.” he mumbled, pulling away from your lips.

you did as he told, spreading your legs. he stood in between them, giving you another short kiss before his hands traveled to slightly lift the hem of your shirt, just enough to give him the perfect view of your lacy underwear.

jeno groaned once he saw the wet patch forming between your legs. “you just got fucked two hours ago, and you’re still this wet?”

“how did you—“

“you’re not exactly quiet, sweetheart.”

you cowered, head turning away from him, but his fingers caught your chin, forcing you to look at him. his other hand hooking the waistband of your underwear, playing with it.

“can’t believe you’d rather get fucked by him when i’m right here.”

you glared at him. “this is wrong.”

“do you want me to stop?” you stayed silent, making him smirk. “that’s what i thought.”

jeno pulled your underwear down your legs in a painfully deliberate manner, making you swat his arm. he laughed, letting the fabric fall down the floor.

“keep laughing. i can just wake him up, and he’ll do it for me.”

jeno’s laughter faltered, a dark look in his eyes replacing his playful mood. “not fucking funny.” his hand cupped your core, a small yelp escaping your lips. his fingers ran down your folds, spreading your arousal. 

your hands fell to his shoulders, gripping it as he teased your hole. it felt so wrong, but you had clearly decided to throw your morals out the window long ago.

“don’t like seeing you with him.” jeno admitted, his voice low. his confession was supposed to drive you crazy, instead, it felt unfair—like he wasn’t keeping his end of the deal.

“j-jeno.” you moaned, mindful of the volume of your voice. his fingers circled your entrance, just enough to drive you crazy. “you can’t tell me what to do.” you managed to let out, keeping him in place. it was almost absurd how he had the nerve to admit that he didn’t like seeing you with another guy while having a whole girlfriend himself. you bit your tongue back because, well, he was touching you so good, and quite frankly, you didn’t want him to stop.

“maybe,” he hummed before inserting two digits into your entrance. your head dropped to his shoulder, heavily breathing against his skin. he pulled his fingers out before inserting them again, your wetness coating his digits. “but at least i have you moaning my name like the slut you are.”

jeno thrusted his fingers at a pace that had your vision clouded with stars. your fingernails dug into his skin as he curled his fingers, hitting all your sweet spots. you bit your lip to avoid making too much noise, especially since jaemin was just in the room next to yours. his free hand snaked to your hair, gripping it while pulling your head away from his shoulder—careful not to tug on it too harshly—making you look at him in the eye.

“keep quiet. don’t want loverboy to find you grinding on my hand now, do we?” jeno smirked, making your mouth water.

you squirmed at the stretch of his fingers. when he felt you clench around him, he placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing addicting circles on it. his fingers effortlessly sliding in and out of you. his eye contact was overwhelming as he watched you tremble from his mere touch. 

“oh god.” you cried out, face scrunching from the pleasure. your hips bucked against his hand, desperate to feel more.

jeno’s pajamas grew tighter at the sight of you, wishing nothing more than to bend you over and fuck you senseless on this counter—but he couldn’t. not when you just emerged from the room of one of his closest friends, where you did the same activities he wished he could’ve done with you. so he resorted to making you cum just with his fingers.

“be a good girl,” jeno mumbled, pressing his lips against yours. “and cum for me.” he increased the pace in which he was thrusting his digits, each one accompanied by the slight curl of his fingers.

your back arched just by his words, body pushing into him as small gasps left your lips. he almost smiles at the way you looked. so fucking cute, he thought.

“shit—jeno.” you whimpered. your stomach contracted, a clear sign that you were close. and with his thumb doing miracles on your clit, you couldn’t help but cum all over his fingers.

a string of curse words fell from your lips. legs trembling and breath shaking as you rode out your high. your posture nearly giving up as you tried to compose yourself.

jeno pulled his fingers away from your pussy. he couldn’t resist placing them in his mouth, lapping up your juices while maintaining eye contact with you.

that was so hot.

you swatted his arm, feeling shy, but he only chuckled. he leaned down, grabbing your discarded underwear from the floor. “can i keep this?” he boldly asked.

you pondered for a second before quickly snatching the item from his hand. “and if karina finds it?”

jeno grumbled, shoulders slouching from the thought of his girlfriend. “killjoy.” he muttered.

you hopped off the counter, slipping your underwear on. “i gotta go before jaemin wakes up.”

“right.” jeno mumbled, eyes lingering on you for a second, “no goodnight kiss?” he sure was getting comfortable.

“don’t push it.”

you sneaked back into jaemin’s room. his sleeping figure peacefully lying on the bed, almost in the same position you left him in. you nibbled on your bottom lip as guilt started to creep in. you occupied the space next to him. his unconscious self felt your presence, immediately wrapping his arm around your waist. you decided to close your eyes, slumbering taking over you while the weight of your actions sat on you.

you: i need u where are u mark: ??? i am not your sneaky link you: not like that asshole. need someone to talk to mark: diner? you: be there in 10

your eyes scanned the diner, looking for mark’s blond hair to stand out. spotting him at the corner booth, you slid into the empty seat before him. his head looking up to face you, his usual smile plastered on his face.

“hey, nerd.” mark greeted. “you okay? i thought you wanted to fuck me or something.” he chuckled, nudging his plate of fries close to you.

you groaned, head falling to the table. “i’ve had enough of fucking friends for a lifetime.” you mumbled, voice low.

“what’d you say?”

you lifted your head, crossing your arms on top of the table. “you have to promise not to be mad, okay?” you pouted.

“it depends.”

“mark! i’m serious, i don't think i can't take it anymore.” you groaned.

“is this about jeno?”

“what?” your eyes widened, head tilting at him. “not that i’m saying it is, but why did you think that?”

“it’s obvious. you two aren’t hanging as much as you used to. i just figured you got into a fight or something.” mark shrugged, leaning against the chair.

“before i tell you, you have to promise not to judge and that you won’t think any less of me.”

“alright, fine. i promise.” mark raised his hands in defeat.

you let out a sigh before telling him everything. starting from the night of the party—how that one tiny kiss led to the chaos you were now tangled in. you opened up about your feelings for jeno and how conflicted you were now that jaemin’s in the picture. you told him about how guilty you were for doing this to karina. then you moved on to your encounter at jeno and jaemin’s apartment.

mark’s expression shifted throughout your story. his expression juggling between shocked and confused. his brows furrowed in concern, mouth dropping in shock. he let out tiny coughs whenever the story steered into messy territory, his eyes wandering anywhere but on you, trying his best to keep his promise of not judging you.

when you finally finished summarizing everything to him, you covered your face with your hands, ashamed of your story. although your chest felt lighter at the thought of finally confiding about your situation with someone like you had just ripped open a wound and exposed it to the world.

“wow,” mark started, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “that’s… a lot.”

“i know.” you grumbled, looking down at the table.

“but i’m not mad at you.” he quickly assured, his tone gentle. “and i don’t think less of you. after all, you’re still human, y/n. it must’ve been so confusing for you.” his hand reached across the table, taking your hand in his, in an attempt to comfort you. “i won’t lie, this is really messy, but you’re not a horrible person. you just made bad decisions, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad.”

anxiety washed over you, you wanted to believe his words, but a part of you was convinced he was only saying this because he’s your friend. you shook your head, feeling defeated. “i don’t know, mark. i just… i could’ve stopped it, you know? but i felt stuck.” your throat tightened as the words left your mouth. “i was too caught up in this—this fantasy of mine that i didn’t realize i’d be hurting people.”

mark’s thumb drew small circles on the back of your hand. “hey, we’ll figure it out, okay? the first step is being honest—talk to jeno. if you really regret it, tell him this… thing between you has got to stop. he’s your best friend, y/n, and he has a girlfriend, i know it hurts, but we can’t force things to happen.”

he was right. you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself, especially with other people involved.

“yeah.” you whispered, voice cracking as tears welled in your eyes. “i’m sorry, mark.”

“don’t apologize to me.” mark squeezed your hand. “i’ll support you no matter what, but you have got to clean this up. because the longer you wait, the worse it will get.”

you stood outside the lecture hall where jeno was, shifting your weight from one foot to another as you waited for the bell to dismiss his class.

after your conversation with mark and a sleepless night, you decided to confront jeno. the weight on your chest had become unbearable, and you knew it was time to address everything head-on.

“jeno—” you called out as students began to flood out of the room, but your voice faltered when you saw that karina trailed behind him, naturally reaching for his hand. 

jeno’s head turned at the sound of your voice. his eyes widened when they landed on you, surprise evident in his expression. he hesitated before walking toward you, karina following at his side.

“y/n? what’s wrong?” jeno wondered, his tone soft. you weren’t exactly on speaking terms recently, so you looking for his presence was news to him. karina stood beside him, making your stomach twist uncomfortably. she glanced between the two of you, curiosity and perhaps suspicion flickering across her face.

you gave karina a polite nod, barely meeting her eyes. you couldn’t even face her; seeing him with her stung, and you didn’t even have the right to be hurt. she returned the gesture with a tight, hesitant smile. you always sensed that she wasn’t fond of you, you couldn’t blame her—especially with recent events.

“i need to talk to you,” you pleaded, looking up at him. “alone, please?”

karina’s expression shifted, but she said nothing. jeno glanced at her, silently asking for permission. she gave him a nod as jeno mumbled something you couldn’t hear. she let go of his hand after he let her go with a quick peck on the lips, making you avert your gaze elsewhere—the simple act making your chest tighten with jealousy and guilt tangled together.

jeno returned his gaze to you and gestured his hand for you to lead the way.

you ended up at the park located on campus. given your situation, a secluded area wouldn’t be the best for you right now. you and jeno sat on a bench with the perfect fountain view. chatter could be heard from around you, and it somehow eased your senses.

you stayed quiet, pondering on what to say to him. this morning you woke up with a heavy heart. you spent all night thinking about mark’s advice. the events of the past month haunted you. although your time with jaemin had been filled with warmth and laughter, the guilt clawed at your chest, begging to be released. you felt like you couldn’t entirely give yourself to him without addressing the elephant in the room with jeno.

it was unfair—to jaemin, who had been nothing but kind and sweet, and to yourself, for carrying a weight that wasn’t entirely yours to bear. it was also hypocritical, you were doing to jaemin exactly what you hated that jeno was doing to karina.

“y/n?” jeno’s voice bringing you out of your trance. you lifted your head to face him, his eyes filled with sincerity. “are you okay?”

you looked at him as if he had three heads. here you were, almost drowning in guilt, and he couldn’t even sense you were struggling. “are you serious, jeno?” you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest. the frustration you had bottled up spilled before you could register it. “you’re really asking if i’m okay?”

his eyes widened at your outburst, expression turning soft as he tried to read you. “i just—”

“i can’t take it anymore, jeno.” your voice turned soft, sighing. “this—what we’re doing, we can’t.”

“y/n…”

“can you be honest with me?” you asked. he nodded, gaze intent on you. “do you regret it? what we did?”

jeno paused for a second, scanning your exhausted expression. “i don’t want to hurt you.” he mumbled, voice low.

“that’s the thing, though.” you dryly chuckled, running a hand through your hair. “i’m already hurting. do you think it’s easy for me to see you with her, especially after what we’ve done?”

“what—”

“i like you, jeno.” you confessed, watching as his expression twisted into surprise. “i’ve liked you ever since we were kids, and i thought it was just a silly crush, but it’s not. i keep lying to myself that you’ll like me, that maybe you’ll see me the way i see you.” you spilled before you could even stop the words running out of your mouth. “every time you came to me when you fought, i thought that there was a reason you kept seeing me.” you blinked at him. “and i thought that you kissing me meant that you had the tiniest feelings for me, but you’re still with her, i see the way you look at her.”

“y/n, its not like that—”

“then what is it, jeno?” your voice trembled as you took a shaky breath. “because i—i’m losing my mind here, and you’re being… you’re being mean.”

“mean?”

“yes. you don’t have to lie, okay? i know i’m equally responsible for doing this with you, but i feel like i don’t deserve to be lied to. don’t tell me you’ll take care of things, and don’t tell me not to worry because i’ve been waking up worried ever since that happened! and what we did to jaemin the other day…”

“i’m sorry…”

“you love her, jeno. i get it. but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see you run to her every time? how hard it was for me to pretend like i’m okay with just being your friend?” tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, and you looked up to prevent them from falling.

“i didn’t—i never meant to make you feel this way, y/n.” the guilt in his eyes was so heavy it made your heart ache.

“then what did you mean to do?” you asked, voice barely audible.

“i don’t know.” jeno admitted, “i’m confused, y/n. i care about you a lot, okay? i really do, but i…”

“you love karina.” you finished for him.

jeno stayed silent, and that was all the confirmation you needed. you stood up abruptly, wiping your tears with the back of your hand before turning around to walk away from him, each step feeling heavier than ever

the sound of hurried footsteps followed you, but you refused to look back, not when you were this vulnerable. before you could take another step, a gentle hand on your arm prevented you from moving any further.

“y/n, wait.” jeno pleaded, softly tugging your arm to turn you. your teary eyes meeting his gaze.

“let me go, jeno.” you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself not to cry.

jeno’s grip softened, but he didn’t let go. “give me time.”

you blinked at him, caught off guard. “what?”

“i—let me sort my thoughts first, okay?” jeno stared down at you, his eyes genuine. “i don’t what i’m doing. y/n. but i know that when i’m with you, it feels…right.”

“that’s not fair.” you frowned, shaking your head. “it’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me.” his words did nothing to ease the ache in your heart.

“i know, but…” his eyes never left yours. “i don’t want to lose you.” 

you let out a bitter laugh, wiping your tears. “you don’t get to have it both ways, jeno. you can’t just keep me on the side while you figure yourself out.”

“i’m not trying to,” he said, stepping closer to you. his hand trailed down your arm to hold yours. your eyes widened, and you grew aware of the fact that you were in public. “please, just—wait for me.”

you opened your mouth to respond, to tell him how unfair he was being. but before you could muster up the words, his lips captured yours in a kiss that was soft but so desperate. the action filled with longing, as if it contained all the words he couldn’t say.

the world faded away as if you were the only people there, and all you could feel was him—his lips on yours. you hated yourself for it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away.

your mouth moved against his before you heard chatter around you, making you push his body off of you. he kept his hand on yours, refusing to let go.

“don’t walk away, yet.” jeno pleaded. “i’ll make things right. i’ll talk to her and figure it out. i promise.”

his words sent a pang through your chest, making you shake your head. “how am i supposed to believe you, jeno? you always went back to her regardless. how do i know this isn’t just another moment you’ll regret?”

jeno pondered for a second, “i’ll be honest with her. i’ll tell her everything.”

“and then what?”

“and then,” he brought your hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. “i’ll come and find you.”

your breath hitched at the sincerity of his voice. you wanted to believe him, but the ache banging against your chest reminded you of the risk. taking a deep breath, you stepped back slightly, breaking his hold on your hand.

“i’ll give you time, jeno.” your voice was soft but firm. “but you need to figure this out, really figure it out, before i can even think about…” you trailed off, unsure about what to label the entire situation.

jeno nodded, determination in his eyes. “i’ll call you, okay?”

and with that, you turned and walked away, your heart pounding with both hope and fear as you left him standing there.

the day had slipped into the evening. jeno walked into the halls of his apartment, the soft glow of the sun casting shadows across the room, reminding him how long it had been since your conversation earlier.

he pondered how he would bring the situation up with karina. no matter how hard he tried, he could no longer bury this secret. his mind kept drifting back to you, to how you looked so disappointed in him, and every time it did, his chest tightened with the thought of how things would never be the same again.

jeno loved karina. every time he closed his eyes, there she was—her face, her smile. she was his anchor, the one thing in his life that he couldn’t discard. they knew each other’s flaws and strengths. they argued, but they always bounced back from it. sure, they had their differences, but they always got through it, finding their way to one another.

i’ve always loved her. jeno thought. that’s how it always was.

but you… you were different.

you were his best friend—the one who knew him. you had been there for him since day one. you experienced life together, laughing over stupid inside jokes, supporting different decisions, and comforting each other through the toughest times. you were his safety net. the person who he knew he could rely on when it felt like the world was against him.

jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. he had always considered you family—how could he not? 

the thought of losing you terrified him. although he would be lying if he said he hadn’t had these flashes filled with thoughts of you. he’s used to dismissing them; it was you, for fuck’s sake. you had been his best friend for so long that even thinking of you differently felt crazy to him. but now, looking back to everything—the way his heart would race when your eyes met in a crowded room, the way his smile would reach his eyes when you laughed at something he said, the way he could always see you in the back of his mind—it all felt so clear.

realization came crashing down on him. his mind racing with thoughts of you. he thought it was just some passing attraction. but it was deeper than that. you were the only person who made him feel seen, the only one who showed him warmth. feelings he couldn’t even seek in karina, despite the love they shared. it terrified him.

he was too scared to admit it. he could no longer pretend. how could he? knowing a part of him belonged to someone else—someone who was not his girlfriend. 

he felt sick, the guilt gnawing at him. he loved karina… didn’t he? his feelings for you were uncertain, fleeting… wasn’t it?

jeno opened the door to his bedroom, and his eyes widened at the sight.

“karina?” jeno questioned, brows furrowing. “what are you doing here?”

“jaemin let me in.” karina replied abruptly. her arms across her chest, an unreadable expression plastered on her face. she was sitting on the edge of the bed as if she was waiting for hours.

jeno set his things down on his desk before approaching karina. instinctively reaching up to kiss her, but she turned her head, his kiss landing on her cheek.

“what’s wrong, babe?” jeno asked, curiosity lacing his voice.

“you tell me.” karina responded, fishing for her phone in her pocket. a confused expression latched on jeno’s face as he watched her tap away on her phone. she raised her phone and shoved it in his face. “care to explain?”

his heart stopped. the color drained from his face as he stared at the photo she was showing.

it was you and jeno—kissing.

he could tell from your outfits that the photo was taken earlier that day, during your heated conversation near campus.

jeno’s mouth went dry as he racked up a response. “i—“ he stammered, words failing to come out.

“don’t try to lie.” karina interrupted, her brow raising. “winter sent it to me. we both know she wouldn’t fabricate such things.”

jeno’s stomach dropped. of course, they were seen, they weren’t exactly keeping it private. “karina…” he started, thinking of words to say to her.

what exactly do you say at this moment? 

“that’s y/n, isn’t it?” karina scoffed, standing up, her height barely meeting his. “i always knew she was a whore.”

“don’t say that.” jeno’s tone shifted, eyes darkening as his voice got firm.

“what?” karina asked incredulously.

“she’s not a whore.”

“are you seriously fucking defending her right now? she kissed you! my boyfriend!” karina spat.

“i kissed her.” jeno admitted, his gaze all over her face.

karina nearly lost balance at his confession. “you—what!” she exclaimed, a frown forming on her lips.

“i kissed y/n.” jeno repeated, his gaze unwavering. “and it isn’t the first time we kissed.”

“what the fuck are you saying?” karina’s voice cracked, disbelief was written all over her face.

“i slept with her on the night of the retreat.”

karina’s eyes widened. “jeno—“

“i started it. i think i’ve known for a while, but i refused to face it.” jeno couldn’t even fathom the words he was spitting out. “i think i’m in love with her.” he admitted, more

the room fell silent at the weight of his confession. the burden lifted off his chest as he comprehended what he had spilled.

“i can’t believe this.” karina shook her head, a bitter, sarcastic laugh slipping past her lips. “after my friends told me i’m way too good for you. you fucking cheated on me? with some bitch?”

“don’t drag her into this. it’s my fault.”

“fuck you.” karina spat, prodding a finger on his chest. “and fuck her, too.”

karina stormed out of the room, pulling the door wide and loud enough to cause a commotion.

jeno called after her, “karina, wait. i’m sorry!” he followed her through the hall.

“sorry?” karina shot back, spinning around to face him. “sorry you got caught, or sorry you have a homewrecker for a best friend?”

jeno winced at her words. “i’m sorry for what i did.” he replied softly. “for hurting you. you didn’t deserve that.”

karina stared up at jeno, eyes glistening as his previous confession came crashing down on her. “i never want to see you again, jeno.” she said, voice breaking before she turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

jeno stood frozen in the hallway—the ghost of their conversation haunting the air.

“dude…” jaemin’s voice cut through the thick silence.

jeno turned to the source of his voice, a sullen expression on jaemin’s face. he was standing in the doorway of his room, clearly having heard the entire conversation.

“jaemin!” jeno exclaimed, completely forgetting his roommate was next door. “did you—“

“you’re in love with y/n?” jaemin cut him off, his expression unreadable. he tilted his head as he looked at jeno. “why didn’t you tell me?” he crossed his arms across his chest.

jeno opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. he took a second before letting out a sigh. “i couldn’t—i wasn’t sure.” he admitted.

“did you… sleep with her when we were together?” jaemin treaded lightly, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

“no! no, we didn’t.” jeno defended, shaking his head. technically it wasn’t a lie. a little fingering doesn’t count as fucking, right?

“i see.” jaemin nodded, a weary look on his face. “i don’t think i can continue seeing her then.” he frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.

“what?”

“you love her, man.” jaemin sent him a small, sad smile. “i don’t want to stand between you.”

“but you said—“

“don’t get me wrong. she’s beautiful and amazing.” jaemin interrupted, holding a hand up. “but you’ve been there for each other since you were kids. i could never stand a chance.” he shrugged. his expression softening.

jeno swallowed, his chest tightening. he never meant for this to happen. jaemin is one of his best friends, and he had betrayed him. “she likes you, jaems.” 

“but she loves you.” jaemin lifelessly chuckled. he took a step closer to jeno, placing his hand on his shoulder, and giving it a firm squeeze. “go get her, jeno.”

taking a deep breath, jeno smiled at jaemin. he knew what he had to do.

you anxiously stared at your phone, as if guarding it would make a notification pop up.

the entire night had been a blur of pacing around your room. the events of your conversation with jeno are stuck in an endless loop in your mind. you hated feeling this way, as if your heart was at someone else’s mercy.

“come on…” you muttered to yourself, checking your phone once more. nothing. just the same blank lock screen.

you sighed, flopping onto your bed and letting the pillows engulf your head. your chest felt heavy. what took him so long? he said he would fix things—was it a lie? maybe he changed his mind. maybe he—

your phone buzzed, snapping you out of your thoughts. your heart jumped as you grabbed it, only for your heart to sink even deeper. it wasn’t jeno.

it was jaemin.

jaemin: hey, y/n. jaemin: i’m sorry to message so late. jaemin: i think it’s best if we stop seeing each other. jaemin: i’m sorry.

your head began to spin. your eyes scan his message repeatedly, trying to make sense of it.

what? your mind raced. this wasn’t what you expected. why would jaemin reach out? and why was his timing odd?

your fingers danced over the keyboard, thinking of a response. a hundred of questions swirled in your head. was this because of jeno? did something happen between them? did he find out what happened in his kitchen that one night?

you: did i do something wrong?

jaemin replied almost immediately.

jaemin: you deserve someone who can give you their all, and i don’t think i can. jaemin: take care, y/n.

your brows twisted into confusion. his response made you even more curious. his words sounded kind, almost too rehearsed. it was as if something was missing, and you couldn’t figure out what.

you stared at the screen, blinking at his message. your emotions swirling wildly between confusion, frustration, and hurt. and still nothing from jeno.

what the fuck was going on?

another buzz came from your phone. instantly checking it, your confusion growing deeper.

karina: never knew you were into boys who had girlfriends karina: *sent one photo*

holy shit.

you sat up in bed, heart banging against your chest. eyes refusing to leave the photo of you and jeno, openly kissing each other from earlier.

and karina knows.

your hands trembled, throat feeling tight. you dropped your phone on your bed and rushed out of your room. tears blurred your vision as the gravity of the situation finally sank in. you had no idea what to do, the room felt like it was shrinking by the second. you needed someone.

without thinking, you rushed out of your room and ran to chaewon’s. you banged on her door, your knuckles trembling as tears flowed down your face.

the door opened almost immediately, revealing chaewon in her pajamas, her eyes widening as she saw your state.

“y/n? babe, what’s wrong?” she instinctively wrapped her arms around you, her hand caressing the back of your head to console you.

“i fucked up.” you cried out, sniffling against her shirt, but knowing her, she doesn’t mind. “i didn’t—i wasn’t—” you stammered, head feeling light.

chaewon hummed, “hey, hey, it’s okay. slow down.” she pulled away just enough to see your face, “whatever it is, we’ll figure it out, okay?”

“chae, i—“ you gasped, unable to stop the tears from gushing out. “i need to tell you something.”

soon enough, you both sat on chaewon’s bed while she tried to comfort you. you told her everything, sparing no details. she sat silently while intently listening to your spew. from repeating your confession to mark to your encounter with jeno earlier, down to jaemin’s cryptic texts—and finally, the photo karina had sent you. by the time you finished, chaewon had a worried expression from your entire story.

“y/n…” chaewon began, and you flinched lightly. you knew she was serious; she would usually refer to you using endearments or your nickname, but the lack thereof told you she was not in the mood to tolerate your actions. “this is serious. i love you to death, but you fucked up.”

“i know,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears with the tissue she previously handed to you. “i don’t know what to do.”

chaewon let out a deep sigh, grasping your hand in hers. “first off,” she reached up and helped you wipe your tears. “you need to stop beating yourself up. i know you’re in a sticky situation, but falling apart isn’t going to help you figure it out.”

you nodded, even though her words hadn’t completely eased your mind.

“and second,” she continued, voice growing softer. “i know you won’t like it, but you need to stay away from jeno for a while. let him sort his shit out. give him time.”

even though you refused to face it, the weight of her words eventually sunk in. she was right. it would be unfair for you to force jeno to make his decision immediately, especially since he is in a relationship.

after a long night of sobbing in chaewon’s arms. you eventually passed out beside her, with the thoughts of jeno being the last thing you remembered.

lightning struck across the campus as you exited the library, tugging your coast closer in an attempt to shield yourself from the downpour. you silently cursed yourself for forgetting to bring an umbrella today. looking up at the sky, you wondered if you could bolt through the pouring rain.

it has been a week since your last encounter with jeno. it would be a lie if you said you were doing fine. every passing minute made you even more anxious. he had made some efforts to reach out to you—sending you texts, calling your phone, and even talking to your friends to ask and see you. but your guilt was weighed heavier than your longing, and you had convinced yourself that you couldn’t face him. not yet.

you stuck with chaewon’s advice; you gave him space. although you felt like the distance was killing you more than him.

you missed jeno. how could you not? he was your best friend. you were so used to being so close to him that the space between you was foreign. you missed having him over and talking about everything and nothing all at once. you missed hearing his voice and his comforting laugh. a smile crept up on your face every time you looked back at your memories with him, making you feel ridiculous.

it was foolish of you to think that you could sway him into thinking that you were the one for him. he always loved karina and you were afraid that it was what his heart was heading towards.

you tried reaching out to karina. you sent her an text even though you knew words alone wouldn’t be enough to mend the damage. once you saw that your message bounced back, you tried again on another platform, the same thing happened. you realized she had blocked you on every social media app. you don’t blame her, of course. you had to live with the pain you caused her.

you clutched your bag tightly before running out in the rain. your apartment was a ten-minute walk from campus—maybe less if you ran. the cold droplets seeped through your clothes as you hurried along the wet pavement, shivering as the storm grew.

you nearly reached your apartment when a car screeched to a halt in front of you, its headlights glaring through the rain, clouding your vision. your brows furrowed as you used your hand to shield the bright light. squinting as you tried to make out who was behind the wheel through the rain. the car door opened, revealing a tall figure emerging from the driver’s seat.

jeno.

“what are you doing out here in the rain?” jeno raised his voice enough for you to hear him through the sound of the rain hitting the pavement.

“i didn’t have a choice.” you admitted, your voice trembling from the cold and the sight of him. you watched, puzzled, as he left the warmth of his car to stand in the rain with you, water drenching his hair and clothes.

“aren’t you freezing?” jeno questioned, shrugging off his soaked coat and gently draping it around your shoulders.

“aren’t you?” you looked at him with wide eyes. the rain dripping down his face did him justice, he still looked beautiful.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” he said, tone turning soft. deja vu. “why?”

“i thought you needed time.”

“i said i would come and find you.” his eyes locked on yours.

“karina sent me—“

“i know.” he interrupted. “i told her everything.”

your heart sped up. “how’d she take it?”

“we broke up.” he said, the weather matching his tone. “for real this time.”

“oh.”

“oh?” his brows furrowed, taking a step towards you. “that’s all you have to say? oh?”

“well, what do you want me to say?” you frowned. “thank you for breaking up with your girlfriend for me?”

“i didn’t—you know it wasn’t like that.”

“then what is it, jeno?”

“it’s you.” jeno said. even with the rain surrounding him, you heard him loud and clear. “it’s always been you.”

you blinked up at him, stunned, lips quivering.

“i was too blind to see it,” he continued, stepping closer until your chests were nearly brushing one another. “too scared to admit it. but it’s you, y/n. it’s always been you.”

your heart pounded as he raised his hands to cup your face. his gaze was soft and focused on you. only you.

and then his lips were on yours, warm despite the storm. you melted into the kiss, your hands clutching at his soaked shirt as the noise of the rain started to drown out. the kiss was soft but so full of emotion that it left you breathless.

“jeno…” you whispered once you pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “i missed you.” you admitted, voice trembling.

“i missed you, too.” he mumbled, his lips brushing yours. “i’m not letting you go again.”

“kiss me.”

jeno didn’t hesitate. his lips found yours once again, kissing you softly but quickly turning passionately. his hand copper your cheek as his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, asking for permission. you parted your lips, and he immediately shoved his tongue in your mouth, exploring it with hunger. a soft whimper escaped you as his hands slid down to grip your waist, pulling you closer.

“need you,” he murmured, pulling away lightly. your gaze flickered briefly towards his car, and as if he had read your mind, he took your hand and guided you to his vehicle.

jeno parked the car on the side of the road, grateful that the rain had driven everyone to stay indoors. the windows fogged almost instantly as you both scrambled into the back seat, the heat between you radiating.

jeno’s hand found you once more, gripping your waist as he pulled you onto his lap. your legs straddling either sides of his thigh. he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you like he had been holding back for years. the rain was pounding on the roof of the car, but neither of you cared.

you could barely think, lost in the sensation of his touch as he slid down your coats. your heart beat against your chest once you made eye contact with him. you could make out the sharp lines of his face through the soft glow of the moon. your hand reaching up to caress his cheek, not believing that you had him in your clutches.

“what’s wrong?” jeno asked. “do you want me to stop?”

“no.” you instantly responded, shaking your head. “i just can’t believe it.”

“can’t believe what?” jeno’s lips trailed down your jawline, kissing and sucking on your skin.

“that you’re mine.”

“better believe it, baby. i’m not going anywhere.” jeno chuckled, kissing you again. his lips molded with yours slowly and sweetly. you pressed your body against his, hips instinctively grinding down on him.

“want you so bad.” jeno groaned, his hand reaching down to the hem of your shirt. looking up to you for confirmation, and when you showed no signs of refusal, he lifted the fabric off your body. leaving you in your soaked dark bra. “my beautiful girl.”

you grew shy beneath his gaze, trailing one finger down to the zipper of his jeans. “how bad?” you breathed, toying with his pants, feeling him grow hard below you.

“so fucking bad. i’ve been dreaming of having you again.” jeno admitted, hands roaming your body. reaching behind you to unclasp your bra—which he did effortlessly. once your breasts were on full display for him, he couldn’t help but attach his mouth to your nipple, enclosing his lips around the bud while his fingers circled the other. you moaned, arching your back, pushing your breasts closer to him.

in a swift motion, jeno’s shirt and pants were pulled off him and discarded somewhere in the car. your bottoms and underwear, too, were slid off your body. leaving the both of you breathless and naked.

jeno laid you down on the backseat, carefully trying to maneuver himself between your legs. his gaze on your completely bare body, all waiting and craving for him.

“you’re driving me insane, did you know that?” jeno mumbled, tracing his fingers over your delicate body. from your chest, down to your stomach, and in between your legs. “couldn’t stop thinking of you. no matter how hard i tried, i could always see your pretty face.”

jeno’s fingers ghosted over your entrance, making your breath hitch. his digits toying with your slick, spreading them up and down your folds. “so wet and ready for me, hm?” he teased, watching you squirm from his touch.

“j-jeno.” you whimpered, hips bucking as he circled your clit.

“so cute,” he whispered, almost entirely to himself. he inserted two fingers into your pussy, making you gasp. your hands fly to his shoulder to grip it for support. “you like that, baby?”

“y-yes, so good.” you cried out, making him smirk. he pulled his fingers out ever so slightly before thrusting them in again. keeping his pace steady as your pussy swallowed his digits.

“want to taste your sweet pussy.” jeno said, pulling his fingers off of you before sliding his body to the floor of the car. “sit up for me, baby.” he instructed, and you immediately followed. sitting up while he kneeled in front of you. “good girl.”

jeno wrapped his arms under and over your thighs, pulling your pussy close to his face. he inhaled your scent before darting his tongue out, licking your folds. you moaned out his name as his tongue circled your clit while his fingers returned to your core. he easily thrust his fingers in, curling them just the way you liked it while his mouth relentlessly sucked on your clit.

“oh god.” you moaned. your hand falling to grip his damp hair, tugging on it.

jeno’s rhythm was perfect. his fingers and tongue were in harmony as he pleasured you. you were a trembling mess from his touch, each movement of his threatening your orgasm to come even closer.

“you’re so fucking sweet.” he hummed against you, sending vibrations throughout your entire body. a jolt of pleasure coursing through you as he pressed his tongue flat against your clit, while his fingers increased in pace. “gonna cum for me, baby?”

you nodded, the familiar tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach. with just a few thrusts of his fingers, you came crashing down. you clenched around him as you rode out your high. his pace decreased while his tongue lapped up your cum. you shivered from the sensation, chest heaving from your orgasm.

jeno smiled before leaning up and pressing a sweet kiss on your lips, tasting remnants of your arousal on his lips. “ready for me, baby?”

“hurry up.”

jeno chuckled, taking a seat beside you. “ride me, princess?” he tilted his head, almost in a pleading manner.

you climbed on his lap, supporting yourself on his shoulder while your other hand reached in between your bodies to align his cock with your entrance. you teasingly rubbed the tip of his length against your slit, watching him bite his lip at the sight.

“stop teasing me. i need you so badly,” jeno grunted, his large hands reaching behind your back.

you smiled before sinking down on his cock, mouth falling agape at his size.

“oh fuck.” you whispered once he was fully buried into you. you caught your lip in between your teeth as your walls adjusted to his cock. his hands rubbing soothing motions on your back as he watched you with dark eyes.

“slowly, baby.” jeno assured, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

you slowly started to bounce on his cock. the sensation was burning but quickly turned into pleasure. you held onto his shoulders as you increase your pace, 

“fuck, fuck.” jeno chanted, head falling against the headrest. “so tight and warm for me.”

whines slipped past your lips with each bounce, the tip of his cock perfectly kissing your cervix.

“s-so big.” you let out, nails digging into his shoulders.

jeno lifted his head, his eyes falling to your breasts, watching as they bounced right in front of his face. his mouth caught one of your nipples, tongue circling the sensitive bud.

the car shook with every movement you made. the window fogging and the scent of sex filling the air. you gasped as jeno’s fingers reached between your bodies, thumb circling your clit. your legs started to burn from riding him, so you sank further and began grinding on him.

“holy shit.” jeno cursed, pulling away from your nipple. his free hand gripping your hip to guide you, pushing you further down on his cock.

“i-i can’t—“you cried, tears forming in your eyes. legs growing weak with every grind.

“you can do it, baby. fuck yourself on my cock like the good girl you are.”

jeno’s words sent shocks through your body, moaning loudly as you chased your high. the stretch of his cock was enough to cloud your vision with stars. feeling lightheaded as you rocked yourself forward, the friction drove you insane.

“fuck, that’s it, baby. almost there.” jeno groaned, his voice deep.

you were cumming in no time as jeno increased his pace in circling your clit. your body squirming as you clenched around his cock. but jeno’s grip didn’t falter, still guiding you to grind your hips and you did. helping him reach his climax.

“shit—i’m gonna cum. where do you want it?”

“inside, jen.”

“fuck, i love you.” jeno grunted, making your eyes widen. with a throaty moan escaping his lips, his cum painted your walls. you gasped as his cock twitched inside you. catching his breath, he placed a kiss on your lips before flashing you a lazy smile.

“what did you say?” you questioned, an evident smile on your lips.

jeno’s grin faltered, a flush of embarrassment replacing his expression. “i love you, y/n.” he repeated more confidently. “i’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“i love you, too, jeno.”

relief washed over him as he cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss that was slow, sweet, and filled with every unspoken word between you.

in that moment, the outside world ceased to exist. it was just you and jeno, wrapped in a love that had always been there.

“do we have to go?” jeno groaned dramatically, burying himself under your covers as if the mere thought of leaving your apartment was too much to bear.

you couldn’t help but giggle at him. grabbing his shirt from the ground and putting it on. the oversized fabric falling just above your thighs. “yes, jeno. we promised them, remember?”

jeno peeked beneath the comforter, his dark and messy hair sticking up in different directions. his gaze falling to your almost bare state. he sat up to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap, making you squeal. “why go to some party, when we could just stay here? in bed? loving each other?”

you playfully smacked his arm, although secretly loving his treatment. “because, baby, we said we’d be there. and besides,” you added, turning to face him with a smirk. “don’t you want to show off your girlfriend?”

the corner of jeno’s mouth lifted into a wide grin. “girlfriend, huh?” his voice laced with pride. “let’s go. but only because i love the sound of that.”

the loud music echoed throughout the house party. you and jeno entered together, his fingers intertwined with yours. as you both navigated the crowd, you spotted chaewon, mark, and haechan all hunched up together near the kitchen.

“y/n! jeno!” chaewon greeted, sending a wave over to the both of you. “what took you so long?” she engulfed you into a hug.

you returned her hug with a laugh. “it’s his fault.” you teased, nodding in jeno’s direction.

“hogging our girl all to yourself, lee?” mark raised a brow, smirking as he took a sip from his cup.

“correction,” jeno playfully glared, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “she’s my girl.”

“barf.” haechan made a gagging motion, scrunching his face. “can’t believe we lived to see the day these two finally get together.”

“finally?” jeno questioned, a knowing smirk on his face as he faced you.

“y/n had a massive crush on you—” haechan singsong tone was cut short by your swift swat to his arm.

“okay, that’s enough!” you interrupted, dragging jeno away to grab some drinks. “let’s get drunk, shall we?”

jeno chuckled, pulling your body flush against him. he captured your lips into a soft kiss, the chaos of the party fading into the background.

as the night went on, the teasing and laughter continued. jeno stayed close, his hand never leaving yours. it felt good—natural—to finally not be afraid. throughout the evening, you caught him staring at you on multiple occasions. his eyes filled with adoration every single time, your heart felt content, and you knew this was exactly where you were meant to be.

[taexoxosgf]

LEE JENO FIC REC LIST

s, smut | f, fluff | a, angst

everyone in heat after tds3. everyone is me. > lots are from my old recs so it’s extra long!

recommendation masterlist

rich purity [ virgin!jeno x fem!reader ] [ fwb, university au ] s,f,a

fight club [ fighter!jeno x fem!reader, strangers to lovers ] s,f

in your eyes, part two [ player!jeno x fem!reader, college au ] s,f,a

summer love [ brothers bestfriend!jeno x fem!reader ] [ 90's summer au ] f

the antics [ model!jeno x fem!reader ] s,f,a

pride & prejudice. [ pride and prejudice!jeno x afab!reader ] s,f,a

netflix and chill [ jeno x fem!reader ] [ college au, strangers to lovers ] s,f

two photos, two kisses [ one night stand to lovers au ] s,f,a

impaled [ boyfriend!jeno x fem!reader x roommate!haechan ] [frat/soccer au] s

reel [ friend group camping trip au ] s,f

i suddenly realize my archnemisis is hot (during a battle to the death). [ son of ares!jeno x daughter of nike!reader ] f,a

summer hair = forever young [ strangers to lovers, summer fling au ] s,f,a

my first and last [ campus heartbreaker!jeno x fem!reader, friends to lovers au ] s,f,a

premium boy-toy [ stripper!jeno x fem!reader ] s

the walls are thin [ roommate!jeno x fem!reader x roommate!jaemin } s

promiscuous [ established relationship, jeno x ex-stripper!reader ] s

hush, hush. [ jeno, haechaen, jaemin x fem!reader ] s

wicked games [ enemies to lovers au ] s,f,a

sugar daddy galore! [ sugardaddy jeno & jaemin x fem!reader ] s

wanna know what it's like [ alt!jeno x fem!reader ] [ fwb au ] s,f

someone with secrets [ jeno x fem!reader ] [ classroom au ] s

open the gates, let me in [ bestfriend!jeno x fem!reader ] ft. haechan and jaemin f

shameless [ step-son x step-mom reader ] s

step on a crack, dr. lee’s gonna break your back! [ chiropractor!jeno x fem!reader ] s

the perks of having a hot best friend [ bestfriend!jeno x fem!reader ] f,a

only for me [ bestfriend!jeno x fem!reader ] s,f,a

scream [ halloween party au, frat party au ] s

fuck around and find out [ bestfriend!jeno x fem!reader ] s

bet! [ bestfriends to lovers au, college au ] f,a

sizing it up [ boyfriend jeno x reader ] s

summer heat and summer swim [ established relationship, pool day au ] s,f

brother's bestfriend!lee jeno x reader [ brother's best friend!jeno ] s

the boy next door [ neighbor!jeno x fem!reader ] s,f,a

be careful what you wish for [ boyfriend!jeno x fem!reader ] s

get smart [ boyfriend!jeno x fem!reader ] s

take my breath [ alpha!jeno x fem omega!reader ] s