#It's stuck to my head I'm thinking it for every piece of media I love me and this song we have a secret me and this book we have a secret

[illusoryfem]

Russian Ark (2002)

[bengals-barnesbabe]

mrs. burrow blurb…

825 words for anyone wondering

◎ ｡ ﾟ ❁ ﾟ ｡ ◎ * You've been drooling at your phone for hours (10 minutes) just waiting for your stud of a husband to get home from practice.

All your social media has are pictures, videos and gifs of your man just owning his practice look- well his Bengals gear. But no one should look that damn good at work, unless they're getting paid to. And last time you checked he was getting paid to throw a ball and run away.

"Baby!"

You jolt up from the couch to the sound of Joe's voice coming in from the garage.

"Where are you gorgeous?"

"Living room!" You respond with a smile in your voice.

You see him before he sees you, of course considering he's 6 '4 and 220 lbs of fine ass man. He comes in decked out in his "lady killing" gray sweat shorts and a tie dye muscle shirt with his practice bag swung over his tan broad shoulders.

"Well don't you look comfy." He chuckles nodding at your current state of being wrapped in a blanket like a caterpillar in its cocoon.

You smile unwrapping yourself and standing to your much shorter stature, not that it's ever been a problem for him. "You look like you want every woman within 100 miles to start ovulating."

He snorts and rolls his eyes before pulling you into his arms for a strong yet soft, comforting hug.

"I missed you." He mumbles into your 3 day twist out.

"You smell heavenly, oh I missed you too." He pulls back a bit with a blush heating his cheeks.

You chuckle as he composes himself. "I don't know what's going on with you today, but I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

Then dips his head to press his lips to yours. You hum sweetly into the kiss and rise to your tiptoes to reciprocate the gentle motions.

He pecks your lips once more before pulling back and smiling.

"I baked today." You beam.

His brows quirk up. "Oh yeah?" You nod and lead him to the kitchen. He sits at the counter as you place a cake plate in front of him, then lifts the translucent glass to reveal a sweet lemon Bundt cake.

"Wow."

You bite the bottom of your lip while cutting him a piece then handing it to him along with a fork.

"Thank you mamas." He says then takes a bite out of your homemade creation. You watch intently as he closes his eyes and throws his head back with a moan.

"Do you like it?"

"Oh yeah, fantastic. You did your thing baby." He responds, finishing the rest of his cake.

The joy you feel as the man you love cleans his plate is incomparable. Well you could compare it to the lust you feel when his body engulfs yours in any and every way.

Like when he walked in from an 8 hour practice looking like straight sex on legs. You'd never know how sexy a bleached buzz cut could be until he waltzed in that day.

There's nothing better than a man that just gets better with age.

"Babe?"

You shiver at the tone of his voice as he wakes you from your daydream. You lock eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Fuck, get me pregnant."

He steps down from the stool and smirks. "I think we already have that covered."

Still entranced in his beauty, you pout then feel a warmth around your midsection. You look down to see his hands rubbing on your bump, because you're 7 months pregnant. Which is why he said he was glad you were feeling better, because ever since your 3rd trimester started you've had more downs than anything.

"Babygirl must be having a quiet day if you somehow forgot about her." He jokes. You chuckle and place your hands on top of his.

"I didn't forget, I must've fallen asleep after baking. Then you walked in and I couldn't think of anything else." Then as if she was being summoned, your little girl starts to kick against his hands.

Joe kneels down and kisses your stomach. "I guess she was just trying to give her stunning mama a little break. Ain't that right Deya?"

"Deya?" You tilt your head amusingly.

"I've heard 'who dey' so much today, it's stuck in my head. I just wanted to try it out. What do you think?" He rose to his full height.

"Like Adeya Burrow? It's cute, we can put it on the list."

"Yeah?" He smiles. You nod.

"The list is getting pretty long though, we're gonna have to make a decision soon."

Your husband takes your hands in his and brings them up to kiss them. "We have time, but I think we have our two finalists."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

Turns out you didn't have as much time as you thought. At exactly 35 weeks, your twin girls Adeya and Ariel Burrow, were born. A surprise but the most loved and adored surprise they'd ever had.

Main Masterlist

[ayyy-pee]

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Pairing: Suguru Geto x Female Reader

Summary: Who knew it only took two seconds of spooning for your fiance to want more?

Story Warning: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Creampie (don't try this at home), Fluff, Smut, Thigh Fucking, Fingering, Suguru in loooooove,

Suguru art by: Ilameys (Twitter, IG, Patreon)

AN: Just a quick lil drabble fluff smut piece idk it was stuck in my head for days and i had to get it out so hope you like it. i literally don't even know what i put here. i'm in love with Suguru with my whole heart i NEED TO MARRY HIM IMMEDIATELY

It’s been a long day. You’re sitting in bed, frantically finishing up a work email after your shower. In the bathroom, you hear the water running, your fiance finishing up his own shower before you both turn in for the night. Your tired eyes skim through the email you’ve drafted for your client to send tomorrow. Everything looks up to par so you hit save, exiting your email app and moving on to check your social media apps. Next to your bed, the door to the bathroom opens, the warm steam of your fiance’s shower filling the room.

“Fuuuuuuucking shit, I’m so tired,” he sighs as he steps into the bedroom. He wraps a small towel around the ends of his long raven hair and squeezes, trying to get every bit of water out of his tresses before lying down. He knows how much you hate him going to sleep with wet hair.

“Satoru pissed off the higher ups at work today and I spent the whole day cleaning up his mess,” he complains as he crosses the room. “So pissed I missed our dinner because of it. I’m sorry again, love.”

You plug your phone into its charger and set it on your bedside table, slipping under the covers in your bed. Your fiance makes his way to your dresser, a towel draped loosely around his waist. It hangs just right, the sexy “V” of his hips holding your attention as he vents about his day. He turns to reach into his drawer, pulling out a pair of boxer briefs and putting them on before tossing his towels into the laundry hamper.

“I’m sorry, babe,” you say, holding out your hand to beckon your fiance to bed. A small smile spreads across his lips as he watches you, eyes full of adoration and he moves towards you. The bed dips with his added weight as he climbs on. He kisses you sweetly just before he lays down. His warm arms wrap around your figure as you snuggle closer to your fiance beneath the blankets, the warmth of his body pressed against your back only adding to your coziness. It’s been a long day for you both and you’re ready to just close your eyes. 

However, it seems your fiance has other plans in mind.

“Suguru…” you murmur as he tightens his hold on you. “I thought you were tired.”

He hums behind you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, planting soft kisses along your skin. “I am, baby, but I haven’t seen you all day. I just missed you.” His voice is a whisper, husky and wanting and you know you won’t be getting any sleep any time soon. Suguru’s hand ghosts along the side of your body, until it rests on the curve of your hips. He squeezes gently as his lips graze the shell of your ear. His warm breath fans across your face and you melt, already feeling your body react to his touch.

Suguru grips your waist before rolling his hips up against your ass and you gasp softly, feeling how hard he already is when he’s barely touched you. 

“Missed you so much today. I had to stop myself from stroking my dick in the shower thinking about you,” Suguru admits. “Wanted to wait until I could get you like this.” His confession stokes a fire in your belly, your arousal already dripping into your panties.

It’s always like this. Takes absolutely nothing for you two to get started, your natural attraction to each other pulling you together like magnets the moment you’re in the same room.

“Suguru,” you sigh, reaching back to snake your fingertips into Suguru’s damp hair as he licks your pulse point, biting gently and earning a soft gasp from you. With a smirk, he rolls his hips forward again, evidence of his arousal pressing into your ass.

“Hmm?” Suguru hums, licking, biting and sucking at your neck until you’re writhing and the sounds of you panting fill the air.

“Suguru, touch me…” You can feel how hot you are through your panties, how your arousal is beginning to soak through the fabric. And Suguru can too because when his fingers slide beneath the waistband of your clothes and to your slick folds, his mouth falls open slightly.

“I’ve barely touched you. You’re soaked, baby,” he marvels. “Shit, take these off or you’re gonna ruin them.” He slips his hand out of your shorts and tugs them down your legs until they’re low enough for you to kick them off. When you’re settled again, Suguru brings his mouth to your ear and runs his tongue along the shell. “I want you so fucking bad right now, you have no idea.”

You let out a whine that quickly turns into a moan when you feel Suguru slip his hand between your legs again. Your eyes sink closed as you breathe deeply, reveling in the feeling of Suguru’s fingertips brushing against your cunt. Suguru kisses his way up your neck, the sharp edges of his teeth grazing your skin until his lips brush against your ear once more.

“Wanna make you feel good tonight, baby,” he whispers to you, his fingers deftly finding your clit and circling the nub.

“Please, ah- Suguru, yes. Make me feel good,” you whimper.

Suguru grunts behind you. “Fuck, baby,” he groans, as he grinds against you again.

You let go of your hold on Suguru’s hair, hand finding his wrist and holding tight.

“You like that, baby?” He asks, voice rough with need.

You nod, another moan rushing past your lips when Suguru rolls his hips against your ass again and again.

“Use your words, baby.”

“Yes, shit, yes, Suguru. I love it,” you mewl, your grip tightening around his wrist.

At the sound of his name on your tongue, Suguru’s fingers slide into you. You moan, back arching on reflex as your walls clench around him. Your ass presses against Suguru’s cock and he rolls his hips forward again, moaning in return. Suguru increases his pace, his finger brushing against your center. You can feel the wetness pool between your legs, spreading between your thighs as Suguru’s hand brings you closer and closer to your peak. 

Then suddenly, he stops.

Your eyes snap open as you feel Suguru pull away, your body shivering at the loss of his warmth. You hear him shuffling around behind you for a few seconds, followed by the sound of a soft thud. In the dim lighting of the room, you can’t tell what just hit the floor. 

And then Suguru is back, body pressed against you again and you know. You feel the heat of his bare skin pressing against you, the thickness and length of his hard cock, sticky with precum sitting against your ass. Your heart races in anticipation of him filling you, stretching you deliciously and then fucking you until you can’t see straight. 

But he doesn’t. 

“Lift your leg a little for me,” he commands. And you do, spreading your legs and shuddering when you hear the smack of your soaked thighs separating. “So fucking wet,” Suguru coos as he adjusts himself to lay back on his side. “Just for me.” You feel him press his cock to your core and you shiver, waiting for him to push into you. Instead, he puts a hand on your lifted leg and pushes your legs closed.

You’re confused. He just wants to put his dick between your thighs? That’s…new.

“Suguru, what are you doing?” You ask, turning to look at him. He gives you a smug grin as he peers down at you, swiping his hand over his forehead to move sweaty strands away.

“Told you I wanted to make you feel good.” He doesn’t elaborate yet, just presses closer and shifts his hips until his length sits right between your folds, hot and heavy against your clit. “I want you to fuck yourself on my cock until you cum.”

Your core throbs with excitement. You’re happy to oblige, but –

“What about you?” You question.

Suguru leans forward, pressing a kiss to your temple. “We’ll worry about me later.”

His large hand finds your hips again and he pushes you forward slowly before he pulls you back into him. Like this, you feel every ridge and vein of Suguru’s cock slide back and forth across your clit and you gasp loudly at this new sensation. It feels incredible.

“Oh–” you breathe.

“Feel good, baby?”

“Yes…so, so good.”

Suguru rolls your hips forward and back again, moaning roughly as he kisses your jaw. The feeling is otherworldly, Suguru’s length stroking your nub just right with every roll of your hips. It’s hard to breathe as your release inches closer and closer with each thrust. The room fills with your moans and Suguru keeps pushing and pulling you into hips until the sound that emits from between your legs is downright sinful. 

“You’re so wet, it’s driving me fucking insane,” he grunts, his hand coming up to grab your breast through the fabric of your shirt. He runs his thumb over the hardened bud, grinning when you gasp.

“I’m gonna…ah- gonna cum, Suguru, I’m so close.”

“Cum baby, cum on my cock. Fuck it until you cream all over it,” Suguru groans as he presses his face into the crook of your neck. He smacks your ass, earning a sharp cry from you, but the pain only adds to the delicious pleasure that shoots through your body as your release crashes over you.

Your thighs clamp down around Suguru’s cock, squeezing and trembling as your orgasm rips through you. Suguru pulls his face from your neck to watch as you lose yourself in the moment and he thinks about how damn beautiful you are when you’re all fucked out like this. So pretty when you’re a good girl and cum all over his cock when he asks you to. This is what he’s held out for. He loves to cum with you, but he loves to watch you come undone more.

Suguru loves the way your eyes close, and your mouth falls open with tiny gasps as you let the sensation wash over you. He loves the way he can feel your pussy throbbing against him as you cum. Loves the way he can feel your hole twitching, clenching around nothing, trying desperately to suck him in and –

Fuck he’s gonna cum.

The feeling shoots up his spine in a rush and it’s by sheer luck that Suguru is able to pull his hips back and push his entire length into you easily, so wet from your release. You moan loudly, the feeling of him filling you, stretching you so deliciously so intense that it rips another orgasm from you before you’ve had time to catch your breath.

And Suguru is right there with you. His mouth falls open, loud groans mixing with your cries as he bottoms out over and over, filling you with thick, hot ropes of his cum. He kisses your temple as he pumps you full, breathing sweet words to you.

“I can never get enough of you…fucking love you…can’t wait to marry you,” he grunts, pushing into you, trying to bury his cock as deep as he can. “Can’t wait to make you my wife. Can’t wait to put a ring on your finger, put a baby in you, make you mine forever.”

He moans into your hair, still fucking into you slowly, draining himself of everything he has to offer. “God, you’re so fucking tight. Greedy little cunt is sucking me in so deep. Such a good girl for me, taking all my cum. Fuck, you’re so good to me, baby.”

You can’t do anything but try to catch your breath, chest rapidly rising and falling as you come down from your release with Suguru. When you’re both able to breathe again, Suguru kisses you sweetly on your cheek as he lays back down. He wraps his arms around your form, pressing himself into your back.

“Ugh, we should shower,” you insist, feeling both your cum mixing between your thighs. It makes you shiver. “I won’t be able to sleep until I get cleaned up.”

Suguru sits up excitedly, a dumb smirk on his face. “Good. We can make a mess one more time, then.”

You laugh as your fiance climbs on top of you, settling between your legs and you can feel he’s already hard again. “Suguru…”

“Didn’t I say I could never get tired of you?” He says, brown eyes full of lust and love. And you love him, your future husband. “So yes or no?”

“Yes, always yes,” you tell him, pulling him down for a deep kiss, tongues tangling together as Suguru pushes into you one more time.

Discord 18+ - Twitter - JJK Masterlist

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/9/2023

the best photo i took this week

listening

i have not been keeping up with either the tuesdaypost spreadsheet or the tuesdaypost playlists so there's a strong possibility i have already talked about Joywave's It's A Trip! off the 2017 album Content. spotify

driving ten hours in one day is ideal for listening to albums and i listened to almost every joywave album on my way home from the eclipse. american indie rock band from rochester ny, i have loved them since early college. i think they were made in a lab to get to stuck in my head bc they tend toward lower register synthier tracks that deceptively amble cheerfully along and talk about dealing with fear. songs for a male protagonist to splash water on his face, look at himself in the mirror haunted by what he's seeing, linger in his children's bedroom doorways, and then drive off into the night for the finale.

i think i listened to this song for an hour on loop yesterday bc the chorus so perfectly got stuck in my brain

When you've gotten what you want (Maybe I should start over) There's nothing left to want (Up and at 'em again) You don't know what you want (Yeah, I'm thinking it over) Just tell me what to Want

they have spent a lot of time figuring out how to have longevity as a band: "The record kind of attempts to figure that out but it doesn’t end in a definitive place. For me personally, it’s just to create things that matter as long as I possibly can, and to make things that are going to outlive me that people can hang onto for at least five to six years after I’m dead." they are deeply cranky about virality/content churn, especially in this interview. i appreciate this in an artist.

could not tell you how i first found them. i think i would have to go back to the proto-tuesdayposts of 2018.

-

reading

when you're not sleeping well you can average a book a night!

Uprooted by Naomi Novik destroyed me. (image from here)

“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley. We hear them sometimes, from travelers passing through. They talk as though we were doing human sacrifice, and he were a real dragon. Of course that’s not true: he may be a wizard and immortal, but he’s still a man, and our fathers would band together and kill him if he wanted to eat one of us every ten years. He protects us against the Wood, and we’re grateful, but not that grateful.”

my best friend real-life influenced me into reading this book and i have since managed to convince four other people to read this book bc i won't shut up about it. the descriptions of the physicality of magic and how different kinds of magic and different families of spells Feel was only part of the coolest magical system ive ever read about. this is not a dark romance but it is a little brutal in a brothers grimm/this is how battles shake out sometime kind of way. i think a companion piece of media written from the Dragon's point of view would nicely parallel that post going around about how Howl's Moving Castle the movie is from Howl's point of view and Howl's Moving Castle the book is from Sophie's point of view. i would die for Agnieszka.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (image from here)

Miryem is the daughter and granddaughter of moneylenders… but her father isn’t a very good one. Free to lend and reluctant to collect, he has loaned out most of his wife’s dowry and left the family on the edge of poverty–until Miryem steps in. Hardening her heart against her fellow villagers’ pleas, she sets out to collect what is owed–and finds herself more than up to the task. When her grandfather loans her a pouch of silver pennies, she brings it back full of gold. But having the reputation of being able to change silver to gold can be more trouble than it’s worth–especially when her fate becomes tangled with the cold creatures that haunt the wood, and whose king has learned of her reputation and wants to exploit it for reasons Miryem cannot understand.

i don't know if i've ever read a book with seven points of view before? i think it was well handled, but it required significantly more brainpower than screaming through three of kingfisher's light fantasy/romances in two days and it threw me a little. saying this book is about debts cheapens it a little, i think. it is concerned with debts but also safety, and it is very much about cost in a very fairytale way and in the horrible everyday calculus of survival way.

Swordheart, Paladin's Hope, and Paladin's Strength by T. Kingfisher. god these go down So smooth. kingfisher has a niche and i respect that. i am reading the Saint of Steel tetralogy out of order bc even four library systems can only do so much, and i don't think you particularly need to read them in order.

i'm a bit cranky that the terfs took feminist fantasy from me, bc when the protagonist got her period in Paladin's Strength a little alarm bell went off in my head and i had to put it down and google some stuff (the answer is no btw). there is a way to write female-focused lightly historical fantasy without being terfy and kingfisher does it, but it's so rare that i was genuinely expecting some sort of. weird agenda to be at play.

these were all fun, fast reads and i don't have much else to say about them! not that they are better or worse than novik's books but they will not live in my head quite as long. there are fewer tantalizing hints about systems of magic that make me want to graph things out u kno

-

watching

kanopy has Animation April as their focus this month which is how i saw The King and the Mockingbird (1980, dir. Paul Grimault) which is a longer piece adapted from something he'd been working on since the 40s.

This animated fantasy tale follows the romance between a lovely shepherdess and a handsome chimney sweep. The land's imperious king falls for the beautiful woman and tries to thwart her relationship, but a kind mockingbird assists the lovers in evading the ruler. At the king's command, the chimney sweep and his bird friend are imprisoned, and they must escape in order to rescue the young man's true love.

GOD the animation in this. there are so many references to early animation and silent film. there are so so so many gadgets and methods of conveyance in an absolutely architecturally dizzying castle. there is a ROYAL MECH that plays its own theme music. the backgrounds have a very Chuck Jones quality in that they are exactly as detailed as they need to be for the gag to work. the castle is lush and beautiful but not dizzyingly, overwhelmingly lush. there is a clear vision to every shot and a clear path your eye is meant to travel, which i appreciate very much. i think a lot of technically impressive animation (i am specifically thinking of the Nimh movies) muddies itself by trying to jam too much on the screen. just a fucking delight of a film. a delicious confection

-

playing

nothing specific to say about genshin this week ur welcome

-

making

painted a frame (it was a dead basic michaels frame i got at a yard sale and it was giving little boy's room) and framed a thing. this is a poster that came as a freebie with a 1997 album, and i actually bought this CD case without the CD inside bc i was so delighted with the poster. scuff sanded the frame with 120 grit, i went with a matte black acrylic bc i felt that disguised how the poster did not quite fit the frame a little better? and also bc it was what i had in the house.

i did not bother with a mat, i just used the lining paper with the stock photo and painted the back of that. do not do this with particularly valuable or beloved pieces. i do not think this is necessarily acid free and there is some danger that the paint may transfer to the back of the poster over time.

[aurorawest]

Reading update

Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out by Ryan Love - 3/5 stars

The Fate of Stars by SD Simper - DNF at pg 32

A Gathering Storm by Joanna Chambers - 4.75/5 stars

I kept getting the Madame Leota room from Haunted Mansion stuck in my head as I was reading this (not a bad thing!). This book has a surprisingly low rating on the Storygraph, and I'm not going to torture myself by looking at the reviews, but I'm assuming it's because of the power discrepancy between Ward and Nick. Clearly it didn't bother me as I really enjoyed the book!

Dionysus in Wisconsin by EH Lupton - 4.75/5 stars

At some point I might get tired of Mid-Century Modern romances, but not this day. This book was super fun, with an interesting world and lovely characters. And a Midwest setting! I've spent a lot of time in Madison, Wisconsin, where this book is set, so I got the added bonus of knowing most of the places pretty well. There was even a shoutout to an obscure piece of Madison history, the Lost City in the Arb. I have to get the second book in the series now!boy

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan - 3.25/5 stars

I gave this book an extra quarter of a star for being written in 2003, when it would have been genuinely pretty groundbreaking. Reading it in 2024, it's very twee and pretty cringey (the queer utopia town would have been a magical fantasy in 2003, not so much now in a lot of places). When Levithan credited Francesca Lia Block's Weetzie Bat books in the acknowledgements, I though, ah. No wonder. Hated those as a teen.

All that said, there's some genuinely lovely writing in this book, and it has its place in the queer canon.

The Greywacke by Nick Davidson - 5/5 stars

Super interesting nonfiction about the discipline of geology and how the early geologic epochs were figured out. Also gave me an idea for a historical romance about gay Victorian geologists.

Home Grown Talent by Joanna Chambers & Sally Malcolm - 5/5 stars

I think I loved this one more than the first in the series. The social media scandal was perfect, in that it was exactly as absurd as every social media scandal is, and thus hilarious, but also chilling in how even something so stupid can ruin people's lives.

The First Bright Thing by JR Dawson - DNF at pg 1

Prince of the Sorrows by Kellen Graves - DNF at pg 30

Reuben's Hot & Cold by M Arbon - 3/5 stars

Slight Foxing Around the Edges by Melissa Polk - DNF at pg 132

Restored by Joanna Chambers - 5/5 stars

Balefire by Jordan L Hawk - 4.75/5 stars

A Rulebook for Restless Rogues by Jess Everlee - 4/5 stars

The Mars House by Natasha Pulley - 5/5 stars

See my brain vomit about this book here. If you've been around here for any amount of time you know all Natasha Pulley's books make me feral. Absolutely no exception here. I cannot believe her first UK publisher dropped her over this book. Idiots! It's wonderful just like everything she's ever written.

In the Case of Heartbreak by Courtney Kaye - DNF at pg 181

The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason - DNF at pg 21

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun - 5/5 stars (reread)

Just as good as the first time I read it!

Exhalation by Ted Chiang - 4.5/5 stars

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic - DNF at pg 84

Crisped + Sere by TJ Klune - 4.75/5 stars

It actually kind of makes me mad that this series isn't Klune's most famous work, because it's real good. At this point it seems kind of unlikely he's going to continue it, but man, I'd love another book.

These Silent Stars by Chani Lynn Feener - DNF at pg 68

Trailer Park Trickster by David R Slayton - 5/5 stars

See below.

Deadbeat Druid by David R Slayton - David R Slayton - 5/5 star

I LOVE this series. Love love love love. Absolute must read. If you're a fan of KD Edwards's The Tarot Sequence, this series is right up your alley. It seems like there will be more after this initial trilogy, and there's also a spinoff book coming soon which I'm super excited for. Read them!!

[queerdiazs]

fuck it friday <3

the 'fuck it' part of this friday is the fact that @eddiediaztho has bullied me into writing a sequel for clementines fic and apparently i can't tell her no so, like, fuck it

tagged by, and oh boy, @watchyourbuck, @jesuisici33, @alyxmastershipper, @eddiediaztho, @diazblunt, @try-set-me-on-fire, @disasterbuckdiaz, and @wikiangela <3

Buck grins, pieces of bright orange meat stuck between his teeth, and says, “Mi media naranja,” with a voice that’s so soft the quiet song from the radio almost eats it up.  “Hey, that was pretty—” Eddie starts, stops, and stares at Buck’s messy, crooked grin. His heart beats heavy in his chest, a thud-thud-thud so loud he’s sure Buck must be able to hear. “That means—” “My half orange, right?” Buck interrupts. That smile’s still on his face, aimed right at Eddie, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do with it. It’s so fragile, so delicate, and he doesn’t even feel the acid of the orange in the cuts on his fingers anymore. “I learned the phrase in Brazil.”  Eddie swallows around a lump in his throat he’s sure is his heart, shoved up in there at Buck’s use of the tender endearment, and smiles. He loves Buck and Buck loves him, this they both know, and they’re it for one another, this they both know, too, but Eddie didn’t think it would be this soon.  “Do you know why that’s said?” he asks, inching around the island between them. He can’t be far from Buck, wants to reach out and touch his boyfriend—rub his thumb over Buck’s birthmark, the color of ripe tangerine, and kiss the taste of orange out of his mouth. “Do you know what it means?”  “No.” Buck shakes his head. He looks up at Eddie, open and in awe, like Eddie’s the fucking sun or something—and he’s not, okay. He’s not. That’s Buck. Buck’s the sun and Eddie’s just one of many, millions and billions and trillions and gazillions, sunflowers turned toward him. “Tell me.”  “It’s ‘cause every orange is different, so if you split an orange down the middle it’ll only fit back with the other half.”  “So, like, stars?” Buck tilts his head, adorable and precious and Eddie’s in love, holy shit. It’s running over him, turning him cold and hot and tingly all at once, and he doesn’t want to get used to this, never ever. “How they say people are made from the same stars but, like, oranges instead.”  Eddie laughs, ugly and intense, and nods. “Yeah, baby,” he says, reaching out to press the fat part of his thumb against Buck’s birthmark. It’s his favorite color. “When it’s said like that—mi media naranja—it means something like a soulmate. Something like a husband.”  “Oh.” Buck’s blue eyes sparkle; the evening sun shining into the kitchen halos him in gold and orange and pale, faint pink. “That’s nice to know.”  “Yeah.” Eddie laughs, a little strangled, and rolls his eyes. “‘Oh.’”  Buck grins, teeth clear of orange meat, and grips Eddie’s hips with both hands to bring him closer. “Well, what do you say?” he asks, tipping his head back and looking up at Eddie, all kinds of in love and happy. “Wanna be my half-orange, Eddie?”  

something something buck practices his spanish with eddie because he wants to share that with eddie or whatever <3

i think everyone's done this already???? but if not, i'm gonna tag @shitouttabuck and @jeeyuns and @thewolvesof1998 and @honestlydarkprincess and literally whoever else!

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

you know for ostensibly a delirium fan blog, i end up talking disproportionally about dream and desire, so lets even those scales a little, because there's plenty interesting to talk about with my girl

and one thing that i think is really important to delirium's characterisation is that she is not a child

she's impulsive, yes. she can be absent minded, she enjoys playing, and has little care about being perceived as weird. she struggles to communicate her thoughts in a 'normal' way, all things common amongst various neurodivergences. but she's extremely aware of her surroundings, and her realm is home to every fucked up thought anyone's ever had, she's in no way naive (like look at how many of her ramblings involve sex or death or other things that would be censored in kids media)

the very first time we meet delirium in the comics, we get this bit of narration, which has stuck in my head since i read it

because that battle between who delirium is and who people see her as is fascinating to me

she's older than every being that's ever lived, mortal or not, bar 8 (her siblings and her parents)

and celestial bodies are also people in this universe, they're all younger than her too, she's watched the stars grow up

she is the 9th oldest being ever

but we see so much of this story through the eyes of the other endless, and they don't think of her as the 9th eldest being in existence. they think of her as their baby sister

some more than others. i think destruction was one of the people most willing to see her as she actually is. and while i'm not sure if dream is always on the list of good siblings here (he has a tendency to be condescending), someone commented on my post about a dream and delirium scene that despite delirium making no sense, dream doesn't talk down to her

he may not see her as on his level (he does, after all, agree to go with delirium at first because he assumes it's something she'll get bored of and forget about eventually, he doesn't expect her to be right), but dream at least has an abstract enough domain that he sees through her words to the meaning behind them, and he respects her way of communicating

but with most of her siblings, it's a fight to be taken seriously, and we do see a few moments where she's angry enough to remind them she's their equal

and i love her so much as neurodivergent representation, because how many of us have had to deal with the whole adult physically child mentally thing? oh they're mentally a 5 year old, no, they're mentally an adult, they just think differently to you. and i love del for the fact that she doesn't let certain things being 'childish' stop her from doing them if they feel right, she doesn't let anyone else make her hide things about herself. but also she stands up for herself and reminds her siblings that she knows more than any of them.

and she does, she's the only endless who's been through a change like that. she sees so much more than they do, and just because she can't always communicate it doesn't mean she doesn't understand

her realm is described as the easiest for people to reach, the closest to humanity (but one of the hardest to leave). death gets all the credit for spending the most time with humanity, not distancing herself from that like the other endless, but neither does delirium. del was perhaps the first to figure out what it was the endless were missing. just because her mind is in pieces doesn't mean she isn't whole

(the best characterisations of del in fics will always be the ones that remember her dialogue isn't just random rambling, the rambling has to come hand in hand with extremely perceptive observations of the people around her)

(she's the one of the few people who can make dream speechless in her analysis of his issues)

and yes, her physical presentation is younger than that of her siblings. but she doesn't present as a child, she hasn't since she was delight, she presents as a teenager

because what other physical form perfectly represents that frustration to be seen as the adult you know you are in your head when everyone in your life can only see you as a child?

[inventedfangirling]

BEST of BL's in 2023 [Thai edition]

(more accurately my favourites from 2023, so that i have something to show for the 100s of hours i spent watching them lmao)

I Feel You Linger In The Air - Head & Shoulders above (almost) every single piece of queer media i've ever watched. Khun Yai and Jom will be forever icons. That drunk poem confession will NEVER be topped. Also LESBIANS AHHHHHH also the way the show explored intimacy AHHH just end meeee

2. Moonlight Chicken - Aof strikes again. Gave me Uncle Jim, Heart, Li Ming and my baby boy Gaipa- the music, the cinematography, the writing, the found fckin family - i will recommend it to EVERY one on the planet if i could.

3. Be My Favourite- I did not expect to enjoy this show as much as i did. I loved what they were tryna say. I LOVED the queer undertones in EVERYTHING. if not for the asexual erasure and Not being an absolute asshole this would have been quite the perfect show. And man is Gawin so darn sculpted perfection, LOOK AT THAT FACE, how to not admire!? Also Pearmai my beloved. AND THAT POEM in episode 11 ARGHHH

4. Bed Friend - I know this was a polarizing series in a lot of ways and I agree to some of the complaints raised BUTTTTTT NET MY FRENZ NET! How am i supposed to not melt into a complete puddle watching King pretend to not be absolutely in love with Uea, and treating him like the babygirl he is, when he looks like THAT. I'm but a mere mortal.

5. La Pluie - I kinda liked the show and disliked it in equal amounts. Saengtai annoyed me quite a LOT towards the end BUT his brother Sangtien - Suar Kritsanaphong had me in the palm of his hand. Him and his kiss with Lomfon is etched firmly in my brain. It HAD to be on this list.

6. Only Friends - Gawd. The Promise. The Promise of it all. Thats what maddens me THE MOST. There was just SO MUCH that they could have done. Even if they stuck with a lot of their similar choices i would have still put it higher up on the list if they hadn't undone all the good work they did in the final episode. I couldnt even bring myself to rewatch anything from this one cos of how disappointingly it ended. That being said - FirstKhao KILLED it as usual, i CANNOT wait for their next one, BOSTON deserved better and my MVP- Mark Pakin AHHH i NEED him on EVERY SHOW EVER but also in ways concerning to me GAWD WHAT A TALENT AND WHAT A FACE.

7. Laws of Attraction - Charn you guys. Charn and his utterly deranged expressions and his even more deranged ex. And ofc everything else the show offered. The drama. The mystery. The family. The romance. THE LESBIANS!!!!? Few things not to love. Especially the finale with all the domestic husbanding going on. Precious af.

8. Hidden Agenda - Far too much nonsensical plotlessness going on here for this to claim this position BUT i'm just a girl watching Joong swoon over his man and losing it in the corridor and proceeding to do that myself cos man he's so damn good in these kinda scenes. I think he'd be good in more serious ones too but I would much prefer it if it was with somebody who could offer more than Dunk (no shade he very cute himself)

POTENTIAL FAVS

The following is a list of shows i loved/liked it a LOT but still watching/running so I can't fully judge

(in no particular order except the first one cos who am i to put an aof show not at the top of any list)

Last Twilight [BEST THING EVER I AM WHOLLY AND IRRETRIEVABLY IN LOVE IM GONNA REWATCH IT LIKE ITS MY JOB PLS I NEED IT TO STICK THE LANDING SO BAD]

Love in Translation - episode 4 what a beauty, one of my fav episodes of any BL in 2023 ever- just LOVED the whole fake date thing - it was EVERYTHING

Wedding Plan - Leads are cute. Lesbians are cuter. Made me laugh. Also CUTENESS hello

Night Dream - Who doesn't love a long unrequited but actually totally requited love story?

The Sign - nothing i can ever say is gonna be enough to encompass just how mind-blowing this series is from concept to execution to CGI to costumes to the gorgeous leads with fckin electric chemistry AND the PINING and the will they won't they arhhhh- TOP TIER STUFF

Cooking Crush - i went into this with minimal expectations, the trailer didnt do much for me BUT oh my gawd i had SO MUCH FUN with each episode, i laughed SO much and i am very much looking forward to the rest of it

Cherry Magic - TayNew back again together. Karan and his gorgeous existence. Loved the og. The trope where one believes they are hard to love & someone who loves them like it’s breathing- its literally made for this show and i am SUPER excited where it goes. PLS PLS PLS let them keep the aroace character aroace PLEASE!?!?!?

[saltsicklover]

I've Always Dreamt of You (Unknown Soulmate AU) 

Part One: Blue

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader 

Word Count: 3365

Rating: T

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing, mention of Blood, mention of Vomit, Mention of Character Death.

-- To be continued. I hope you enjoy! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list :) --

Disclaimer: I do not own Bucky Barnes, or anything related to Marvel within this piece. Not Proof Read or BETA'd. All mistakes are my own.

I do not consent for my work to be edited, reposted, or translated.

You are responsible for your own media consumption. This is a work of fiction that may contain mature themes. If you are sensitive to those subjects, please do not read.

The way Icarus dreamt of flight doesn't even come close to rivaling the way I dream of him. I can still feel the touch of his hands on the cold of my skin, fingertips warming trails like tepid wax down the plains of my neck, dripping from the hallows of my collarbones and down my chest like a whisper. 

He first came to me in glimpses, blurry and burned around the edges. Teasing my senses, never allowing me to catch more than just a piece or two before he faded away again, my heart leaping from my chest and jolting me awake. I guess, over all of these years, I still haven't been able to piece a full picture of him together in my mind. 

He has been visiting my dreams since I was sixteen. He's always been there, in my mind's eye as I drift each night; his presence, his touch. Then, slow and treacherous, fragments started breaking through the darkness of my mind. Every image, sound, scrape of skin against mine seemed to disappear upon awaking, but as the years passed, they lingered like tart whiskey and the stench of cherry cigars. 

I remember the first time I saw something I could recall about him for more than a few minutes upon waking; the color of his eyes, ocean salt blue and trench deep. I began seeing that color everywhere, in the depths of the sky and the cold water beneath my feet as I sat on the bank of the creek listening to the songs of sparrows. 

The color was the only thing that stuck with me for three years; over the time I collected a list of items in the same color, pieces of him that snuck into the real world. Bluebells and feathers, trinkets from nature. I saw it in the jack of my playing cards and the paint of my neighbors truck. I felt like the color was surrounding me, and I welcomed it because I craved him, devouring each sliver I could find, worried that if I continued to let him slip through my fingers I'd never have a complete picture. 

The next time I saw something I could remember, I was nineteen. Bloodied hands never left my brain. The image haunted me like an apparition. The way the crimson leaked down his palms made my stomach twist, queasy and aching. The way his veins bulged beneath his pale skin and the callouses marking themselves over experienced hands. The fact that his hands never quite matched each other, like they weren't both flesh and blood made my stomach turn. 

I vomited the morning after that dream. 

Today I am twenty six and the broken images of him still leak though my subconscious into my conscious mind, interrupting my work day. Sometimes I can smell the strong scent of his cologne in the air, or feel the brush of his fingertips on my skin, up and down my arm. I try to push all the thoughts away, turning back to the files set out on my desk. I scan over the lines again and again but none of the words seem to stick in my head and at this rate, if I can't finish payroll I'm screwed. 

Yet, the only thing I can think of is the bit I saw of him last night, a new bit this time. The faintest five o'clock shadow surrounding desert rose brushed lips. I can almost remember him speaking to me, and the way his tongue would dart out of his mouth to run over his bottom lip, but all of the details are much too disjointed and blurry. 

Most of the encounters I have of him are lovely. Going to sleep and dreaming of him, his hands, his touch, the feeling of occupying the same space; it feels like coming home. He never ages, and the changes that come are small, few and far between. 

He seems to be a combination of both hell and heaven and I am painfully torn between them, the waking hours like hell with the inability to conjure up his image or the feeling of his presence, body pressed up against my own- but at night, whether it be called a dream or heaven, he is there in front of me, and I don't need to see him to know the way me soul yearns for him. 

Lately, he has been coming in flashes- even while I am awake. I can see the the crinkle of skin around the corner of his eyes when he squints. I get hit with whiffs of cologne and the smell of conditioned leather. I feel a cold finger run it's way down the side of my arm, from shoulder to elbow; the whole ordeal making my hair stand on end, goosebumps encapsulating my skin. 

The shrill ringing of the phone manages to pull me from my thoughts, I clear my throat before answering. "Hello, thank you for calling Charred Ambrosia, how can I help you?" I ask over the loud music that is rumbling through the walls.  Seven in the evening on a Thursday night and people are already starting their weekend off at the bar, my bar. 

"Hey, Scooter, is that you?" A smooth voice asks through the crackling of the land line. I grimace at the nickname but a smile still tugs at the corner of my lips. I've always hated the fact that I like the nickname, but I could never tell Scott that I do in fact like it- couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing. 

"Hello, Scott, yeah, it's me. What's up?" I question, pulling the coils of the phone cord through my fingers, letting each one of them bounce carefully through my fingertips. 

"You keeping busy tonight, or do a few friends need to stop by to keep you company?" He jests, I can hear the joy leaking through the line. I roll my eyes, though he can't see. 

"We are plenty busy, thank you very much. But I wouldn't say no to seeing you, or your friends, you know that," I inform him, closing the paperwork in front of me. I slap the pen on top of the files, creating a problem for future me. 

"Happy to hear it, Scooter, because some new work friends and I are on the way over right now. You better be behind the bar when we get there!" The line goes dead and I can't help but laugh before setting down the receiver. I head out of the office and head back behind the bar, attempting to make myself as busy as possible as I wait for Scott and his buddies to get in. 

After a handful of checked ID's and served drinks later, Scott comes barreling into the bar, his throng of friends in tow. They stick out against the regulars, their eyes too trained, movements calculated as they position themselves with their backs to the wall. Maybe old habits die hard, or maybe it's because they've come close to death one too many times not to play it overly safe; it's like their scapula's are drawn to the studs in the walls. 

Scott pushes up to the bar, his mudslide iris's bleeding with light unbridled joy just as they always do. A wide smile adorns his face, cheeks beginning to go red. He slides himself into a barstool, the rest of his friends confining themselves to a booth against the far side of the bar. 

"Hey Scotty, what can I get you?" I ask, running the towel in my hand over the counter in front of him. I try and return the smiles he gives me but I know it doesn't quite crest over my eyes. If Scott notices, he doesn't say anything. 

"A round of tequila shots for the table, so that will be six please, Scooter," He taps his hands against the warn and scratched surface of the bar top as he speaks. I swear I have never seen Scott not fidget. 

"If I counted right when you came in, there is only five of you," I chuckle, pulling the shot glasses out from underneath the bar. I line them up carefully before pulling out the salt to rim each glass. Scott furrows a brow at me before turning back to his group of friends to count. I can't help but laugh as he counts each of them on his fingers. 

"Oh right!" He exclaims, turning back to face me, "Bucky isn't here yet, but he will be, so six shots please." I roll my eyes but rim one more shot glass with salt before putting a wedge of lime on each of them. 

"Go sit with your friends, Scotty, I'll bring these over when they're ready," I inform him, shooing him away with a wave of my hand. He goes to protest but keeps quiet when I raise my eyebrows at him. He knows better than to challenge me, especially after all of our years of  friendship. Scott wanders over to his friends and I pour each shot before placing them carefully on a tray. I pull the tray carefully from the bar before rounding the corner to their table. 

"Good evening, gentleman and Wanda, how are we this evening?" I ask, a smile spreading over my lips. I have met only Wanda, which happened to be by complete accident when she came into the bar with her brother, Pietro, when they were still new in town. She came around a lot after his passing and we became friends somewhere between then and now. 

I know of the men sitting with Scott, being that they are Avengers, but I haven't met them officially. The large blond sitting next to Scott cracks a shy smile, sending a look my way and the older man next to him shoots a knowing glance across the table towards Wanda. He earns a hard elbow to the ribs from the black man sitting on his other side. I pretend not to notice as I place the shots down in front of them. 

"I'm Steve," The blond speaks as he looks up at me from his seat, "We've heard so much about you, from Scott, it's nice to finally meet you," 

"Hello Steve, it's nice to meet you as well. Thank you guys for coming in to visit little ol' me," I chuckle, tucking my tray under my arm. I lean into Scott's shoulder with my hip, bumping him playfully. 

"Scooter, this is Clint, Sam, and you know Wanda," Scott introduces the rest of the group, each of them nodding and offering a kind smile. 

"What brings you guys to this little hole-in-the-wall this evening?" I question, my eyes roaming around the table. 

"Scott says you make the best drinks," Sam answers as he spins his shot carefully on the table.

"And we wanted to meet you! Sometimes it's nice to talk to normal people, you know?" Steve speaks and I can't help but laugh at his choice of words. Scott laughs too, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. 

"Normal people what's that supposed to mean?" I jest, looking Steve dead in the face. A blush beings to form under his collar, spreading up his neck and over his face quickly like a wildfire taking over. 

"You know, civilians, not super people, just normal!" Steve tries to save the interaction but the blond next to him, Clint, shoves an elbow into his ribs again. 

"Quit while you're ahead," He mutters, a grin pulling at the corners of his lips. Steve just slouches down a bit in his seat, trying to make himself disappear into the upholstery. 

"Don't worry about it, I'm just fuckin' with you, that's all," I chide. The group erupts into laughter, and I can't help but feel grateful that Scott drug his friends here tonight. All of this is better than trying, and failing, to fill out paperwork. "Scotty told me you have another friend joining you this evening, is that right?" 

"Yeah, Bucky should be here any moment," Sam informs me, checking his watch for good measure. 

"Well, considering the fact that he is late, I think this shot here belongs to me," I pick up the glass carefully, taking the lime off the rim. "Shall we?" I ask and each person grabs a shot. 

"To drinking with normal people!" Scott toasts, shooting a wink in my direction. A chuckle escapes my lips as I tap the bottom of my glass against the table before bringing it to my lips. I lick the salt off the rim quickly before taking the shot. The alcohol isn't as unpleasant as it could have been, but I hastily shove the lime into my mouth anyway. 

"I don't think I'm meant for shots," Wanda grimaces, shaking her heads. Her body vibrates, goosebumps pilling over her skin as she shoves the shot glass away from her on the table. 

"I don't blame you," Sam laughs, the sound full and rich coming from his lips. It makes me smile.

 It's nice having actual joy radiating through the bar. More often than not, there is always someone here drinking away some sort of grief or thought they cannot outrun. Others are here to get into some trouble or someone else's bed for the night. Joy seems to be in short supply and I try and soak it in as Scotty and his friends laugh whole heartedly. 

I let my eyes run around the group once more, the hodgepodge of personalities seem to coexist is a natural nature I've never seen from a group before. Each one seeming to compliment another, the group more tight knit than most I have ever seen. The pure definition of chosen family. When I zone back into the conversation, they are making bets of if their friend Bucky is even going to show.  

"He is definitely coming," Steve assures the group, rubbing at the crease in his forehead. He looks tense, like he is trying to convince himself with his words. 

"I doubt it. You know he never leaves his apartment," Sam counters. 

"Shall I get another round?" I ask, placing each of the empty glasses on the tray. I am looking for an escape from what seems to be a tense conversation forming. 

"Yeah, I'll come with you!" Scott smile, looking a little uneasy about the group conversation. We walk back to the bar, Scott following close behind me until I round the corner.

"Same thing? Shots? Or would you guys like something else?" I question, moving each of the empty glasses over to the sink. He orders beers on tap, the local stuff the team came to try. It's apple forward and sweet, pouring the drinks makes me wish I could have one myself. 

"How have you been Scooter? How's your Dad?" Scott asks, plopping himself down one of the tall stools. He shoots me one of those looks, like he is trying to get into my head and dig around. 

"Are you asking or is it just an opener for the question you really want to ask me?" I set two of the freshly poured drinks on the tray before grabbing another glass. 

"Well, I do want to know how you and your Dad are. But I guess I'm really asking, how have you been lately? Any new dreams?" He doesn't quite meet my eyes at the last part, instead opting to look over my shoulder at the rows of liquor behind me. I curse under my breath, wishing my Father had never told Scott about my dreams in the first place. 

"I am doing fine. Dad is still in prison, just where he was when you got out. You know that. But I do get letters and he assures me that he is doing well. He misses you." I tell him, working on the fifth drink. "I still have dreams. Lately, though, it feels like he is coming in flashes and feelings even while I'm awake. I can't shake the feeling of his fingertips on my skin," I shiver at the thought. My voice comes out somewhere between longing and desperate but Scott doesn't let his face faulter. "But I am all good, Scotty, I promise. I just wish I could figure out if there is something more significant here or if I am meant to be tortured by this phantom my whole life," I place the last drink on the tray, smiling sadly at Scott. 

Scott leans across the bar, taking my hand with his. "You know if there was anything I could do, I would," He reassures me, his thumb running over my knuckles. "I know you don't want to talk about it anymore, and I said I wouldn't, but I'm sure if you came by the facility Bruce would run some tests-" I cut him off with a tight squeeze to his hand. 

"Scott, I know you are concerned, and I really appreciate it, but," I shake my head at him, my hair falling into my face, "I am perfectly okay. I don't want to be poked and prodded just to find nothing. Plus, they are just dreams, very vivid dreams," I say in an attempt to sound convincing and I squeeze his hand for good measure, but I know he doesn't believe me. Hell, I don't believe myself.

He drops the whole thing and I pull my hand from his. "Lets get these over to your friends, huh?" I grab the tray and pull it carefully from the table. Scott nods at me, leading the way back to the corner of the bar where his friends sit. When the table comes into view, there is a large man sitting in the chair Scott was sitting in previously. His hair is dark, cut short around the sides but the top is longer, tousled back away from his face. A well worn leather jacket is slung over the back of his chair. 

Scott scoots into the wrap around booth, sitting himself down next to Wanda. I move next to the mystery man, who no doubt is Bucky, the friend they have been waiting on. Scott is to my right. I Bucky's face is obscured by the tray of beers in my hand. I begin sliding each person at the table a beer, the honey colored liquid sloshing around in each of the glasses as they slide across the table. 

I grab the last drink in my hand before tucking the tray under my arm. I turn to look at Bucky, a smile on my face- one that quickly melts into a look of surprise and absolute bewilderment when his eyes meet mine- no one else seems to notice the glint of recognition that flashes through his eyes and mine. The cool blue of his irises send a volt of electricity through me and the beer in my hand quickly slips from my grip, the glass shattering when it hits the floor. 

That shade of blue- somewhere between cerulean and slate- hits me for the first time outside of my subconscious and the color is beyond entrancing. Everyone around us seems to jump and begin asking if everything is alright, but I am stuck in the depths of his eyes and the way they seem to glimmer in the low amber light of the bar. 

He looks at me too, in a way no one has ever quite looked at me before; like he could see right past the flesh and blood of my being, straight into my soul. A small smile blooms over his lips, dusty rose and plump. I drag my bottom lip between my teeth as my eyes dart back up to his. 

Scott grabs me around my upper arms, moving me a couple of steps back away from the broken glass that now decorates my floor with sharp slivers. 

"Scooter, what the hell was that?" He asks me, stepping into my field of view, blocking Bucky and I's shared eye contact. "You look like you've seen a ghost!" 

"More like a dream," I whisper, "Maybe a nightmare."

[auuwmk]

PLS READ ORV RIGHT NOW IM BEGGING YOU

I'm not good at explaining, so here's a post on what orv is about:

Tl;dr my reading experience and how orv changed the trajectory of my life (if you even care °^°)

the chokehold this novel has on me is not to be understated, like, this usually doesn't happen often because I'm so picky with what media i consume but...ORV.

Idk what happened to me but i felt like i was possessed while reading orv, like, i would be staying up all night and forgetting to eat or drink. It'd be the only thing I'd do everyday, i didn't open any other app unless I needed to.

I literally even read it at school every time a lesson requires me to bring an electronic device (LIKE KDJ SNEAKING OFF TO THE JANITOR'S CLOSET AND SECRETLY USING HIS COUSIN'S LAPTOP TO READ TWSA OMG)

NOW I CAN'T ESCAPE FROM ORV. ITS STUCK IN MY HEAD SAVE ME!!!!

After neglecting art for almost 2 years, i picked it up again just so i could draw orv. It was also the first time i was confident about sharing my art

All my socmed platforms are used solely to share my love for orv, it was the first time i was ever so open. I write about my thoughts on orv everywhere I go, I listen to music and subconsciously try to figure out if the lyrics remind me of orv, i keep comparing every other piece of fiction to orv (im always convinced orv did it better, orv out here setting the standard)

IM PRETTY SURE I MADE A POWERSCALE CHART OF KDJ'S STORIES AT SOME POINT LMAOOO

Everything is orv to me, i can't stop 😭

Literally everyone that's close to me KNOWS im obsessed with orv. HELL, i made a short film inspired by orv (the relationship between a writer and a reader) (its for a school project)

This was the first time I've ever recommended my dad a piece of fiction, my parents don't usually know my interests (it went: PLS READ IT. NOW. ITS SO GOOD PLS) (he didn't)

I think about orv every waking and sleeping moment i dont wanna stop obsessing over orv PLS I NEVER WANNA FALL OUT OF LOVE. My world revolves around orv, i love all the characters, the story, the message, EVERYTHING.

In conclusion, read orv. I cry myself asleep every night thinking about kimcom. I love them and i love the story to bits I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. I'm sure this isn't just me but a lot of others too.

[airenyah]

QL Wrapped 2023

i was tagged by @nongnaos and @ranchthoughts thank youuu <333

i meant to upload this at the latest by december 31st, but the thing is when i saw the tag i was a little overwhelmed at first bc i didn't know how to fill it out and then once i had it all written out i had a super hard time deciding on what to gif and then it all ended up taking soooo much longer than planned. and now it's already 2024. oops. well, better late then never...

so without further ado:

You watched 12 QLs this year that's about 264 hours!

(i'm counting only qls that started airing 2023 bc i didn't keep track of every single show that i watched and it's a lot easier to count all the 2023 dramas on mdl lmao)

You primarily only watched QLs from Thailand

i blame my bachelor thesis for this which i was writing on the translation strategies of thai to eng and also the fact that i'm learning thai, so any time i watch a series i'm like "do i watch something from a country other than thailand tonight??" only for a little voice in my head to go "yeah but you COULD be spending your evening practicing thai listening skills" so yeah...

You spent way too much time thinking about these characters: Pat Napat Jindapat

listen. LISTEN. i know ok, i know bad buddy is from 2021 not from 2023. however!!!!! bad buddy was part of our skyy 2 and that included my boy pat and so i'm counting it!!!! i'm always thinking about pat napat jindapat ok bye

no for real tho. i am NOT kidding when i say i have spent hours on end thinking about pat in the year of our lord 2023, two full years after the show dropped:

maybe in 2024 i'll finally sit down and write that meta that's been in my head for two years now

Your favorite show was Moonlight Chicken

it's gotta be the chicken show for me. yeah. it just felt so... idk, real in a way. idk how to explain it. i'm not even obsessing over mlc all that much but any time it pops into my head i go all kinds of 😭😭😭 and 🥰🥰🥰

not to mention the firstmix

the heartliming

and most importantly earth and fourth as an uncle/nephew duo??

i am so🥺🥺🥺

special shoutout also to jimbo the cat (left) who looks almost exactly like coco, my family's cat (right):

Another one of your favorites was Last Twilight

just. the way p'aof shows relationships on screen okay. yeah.

i cry

You are still stuck in this hallway:

yeah i've been thinking about the yank-kiss-yeet scene from hidden agenda and joke breaking down afterwards in that very hallway for 19 weeks straight gay. bye.

The soundtracks you listened to the most were:

(according to my spotify wrapped top 5)

Just Friend? (Bad Buddy)

Our Song (Bad Buddy)

น้ำลาย (My School President Cover)

Secret (Bad Buddy)

yeah. i've given up on the "only 2023 media" thing. if we're talking songs only from series released in 2023 then i've got love love love (our skyy 2) on no. 32 and no more empty nights (our skyy 2) on no. 46 on my spotify wrapped

also if you're wondering what the 5th song (on no.3 in reality) from my top 5 was that's missing above where i only mentioned four songs, well, it's none other than tilly birds' same page? which yeah. is also bad buddy related. surprise surprise 🤭

Your overall bl mood was P'Aof

You created 15 gifsets (of which "only" 1/3 were about making other shows about bad buddy)

you can find them here

You shazammed 295 royalty free background music pieces/songs from thai dramas

fun fact: i haven't mentioned this publically yet but since thai dramas keep using the same music over and over again in various series i've actually started collecting the different songs/pieces and i'm planning on making a side blog about it. i just want to go through some more dramas first before i publish anything. so this is something you can look forward to in 2024 dkjfkfdj

currently shazamming my way through bad buddy (you may have seen my blorbo breakdown about pran in the ep4 sleepover scene the other week that was triggered by me shazamming all of ep4). next on the list: theory of love and the eclipse. it takes ages tho, so don't expect it any time soon

Your favorite acting pair was JoongDunk

(is anyone even surprised by this lol)

no but for real whatever these two have going on, i'm intrigued:

i just. i love their energy ok. they're fun. and they're clearly having fun

i couldn't decide on what to gif so here's a little compilation bc fuck it, this is my post and i get to do whatever the fuck i want

(actually there's more that i could have put in there but i didn't wanna waste any more time with posting this tag game and also i was trying to keep the compilation somewhat short lmao)

they are such silly little idiot boys ("little" says the 155cm tall short person about the 180+cm giants 🤭) and i adore them &lt;3

their energy is essentially this meme and i'm so here for it:

and they just communicate so well when they're performing and you never feel like either of them is "alone" on stage (doing his own thing in his own little bubble), it's SUCH a joy to watch!!!! once again plugging two of my all time fave performances that i've been rewatching over and over again for the last 3 months:

also dunk is just SO little brother-shaped to me idek!! looking at his face just makes me go into big sister mode. it doesn't help that he's only like a month or so older than my actual little brother. AND he reminds me a lot of one of my fave kids from my youth group that i used to go to for years. dunk natachai has klein-andi energy and you all don't know what that means but i know what that means as does my mom and she agrees. so.

tagging:

i feel so ashamed for not making it in time before 2023 ended so i'm not gonna tag anyone but if you see this and you really wanna do it bc you haven't done it yet then please do so and tag me because i say so!!

and mutuals, send me yours bc i'm not sure i saw everyone else's!!!! (@celestial-sapphicss @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @telomeke @waitmyturtles @dribs-and-drabbles did you guys do this already and if yes, send me yours? i must have missed it 🥺🥺🥺)

[cannibalcoyote]

David Bowie: The Actress

Imagine David Bowie being interviewed, and the conversation suddenly focuses on you:

David Bowie's POV:

"So David, in the newest music video you had a lovely woman beside you. Would you mind telling us about her?" The question caught me off guard, we had previously been talking about advice for younger artists, so this was a drastic change.

I find myself tilting my head in confusion, Y/N was a well kept secret. She is beloved by all of America, yet somehow managed to stay hidden away from all of Europe; but I never thought she was so niche that the British media couldn't find any information on her.

The interviewer noticed my change in mood, deciding to reword her rather blunt question.

"I don't mean that in a rude way, we know that she is the lovely actress Y/N L/N. I was simply wondering how it was that you stumbled upon her... Over here many haven't even heard of her." She leans forward, eagerly awaiting my response.

"Of course, what would you like to know?" I don't really know what to expect, Y/N is quite the spectacular woman, and the questions are sure to be spectacular as well.

"Well... How did you two meet? Did her people contact you? Was it pure chance?" The interviewer clasps her hands together as she awaits my answer. I start thinking about how I got in contact with her, having to stifle a smirk at the memory of her manager's surprise when he learned that David Bowie wanted Y/N in his newest music video.

"I reached out to her." I state calmly as I imagine her serene voice, smiling slightly as I replay her moments of stubbornness during filming. She wasn't a rude sort of stubborn, but she stuck firm to her beliefs, and always knew how to win my approval.

"You did!?" She's clearly taken aback at hearing I specifically wanted such an 'unknown' actress starring with me. I can't help but want to sigh in annoyance, Y/N deserves much more recognition for her amazing skill. Her acting is stunning, and I learned over filming that her musical talent is just as brilliant, if not better. That reminds me, I'll have to ask her about a possible future collaboration.

"Yes... I had seen her in the film 'Poem to a Murderer,' and had subsequently written a song in admiration of her. Then when the song was chosen from my album to get a music video, I simply couldn't pass up on the chance to meet the wonderful actress herself." She was breathtaking in that film, gaining both my admiration and attention in the psychological thriller. The interviewer nods in thought, mulling my answer before opening her mouth to respond.

"Can you tell us anything about her role that caught your attention?" There's so much I could say, so much I want to say, but I don't want to spoil the amazing movie. How do I word this into a short sentence whilst still exclaiming my admiration for Y/N?

"Well, the movie itself was a beautifully written and produced piece of art in itself, disturbingly surreal in a way with the imagery they created. I don't want to spoil too much, but I can tell you that every second of that film keeps you on your toes, and Y/N's character kept me on the edge of my seat every scene she was in." I can't help but praise everything about her. She was exceptional in the film, and started me on a search to find and watch everything that she starred in.

"Ever since the music video, theories about you have been flying all through England. Any chance there might be some truth to them?" She asked the question so bluntly that I'm almost stunned. I'll never get used to interviewers being borderline rude while asking intrusive questions.

"Well it really depends on what's being said. I always have rumors circulating about me." I chuckle slightly, both in humor as well as hidden disdain at the truth of my statement. I am slightly intrigued about what she is talking about specifically, what theories have formed about me this time?

"I have sources who claim to have been on set during filming. They said you two were incredibly flirty with one another. They reckon a romantic fling occurred behind closed doors?" Her question isn't said cruelly, she genuinely seems curious; as does the audience from the looks of it. I hate these questions, why does everyone always have to spread rumors?

"Sorry to disappoint you, but there was no 'romantic fling'. Y/N was a very polite and professional person, so much so that I actually thought she didn't like me at first." I laugh through the latter part of my sentence, but I also cringe faintly at the feeling of dejection I had during that time.

"Really! She didn't like you at all?" This is becoming vaguely annoying, I tell them something, then they restate it wrong.

"That's not what I said, I said I thought she didn't like me. During the beginning of filming she was very closed off and focused, but even when the cameras were off she was professional to the point I thought she didn't like me." I explain with a sigh, remembering those moments where I shyly would try talking to her, only to be met with what I perceived as a closed off response.

"Oh, but... did she like you?"

"Luckily she did. It was funny, I remember the specific moment I realized that she didn't hate me. We were filming the fight scene, and the person I was sparring with, Jeffrey Callos, actually caught me in the jaw." I explained before she burst forward in astonishment.

"You were punched? Bet he got the sack." Her eyes are wide open as she surveys me, the crowd laughing lightly at the second half of her sentence.

"Ha ha, not quite. You see, my crew plotted this because they said I was being daft thinking she hated me. I had bet that she would stay in character and play it off, maybe even laugh. Practically everyone else bet that she might kill Jeff."

"Well! What did she do!"

"Funny enough, she nearly killed Jeff... " The audience burst out laughing at my statement, the interviewer and I were chuckling as well. I waited for everyone to settle before continuing my story.

"No no, she didn't kill him. She did run right over, fretting over me and asking if I was okay before running off IN HEELS to get me an ice pack and towel. I can't tell you the relief I felt at that moment. I was worried that she really hated me, but deep down she was incredibly caring and very sweet." I feel embarrassed in a way, describing how caring this reserved woman became when she saw me topple over from the punch.

"So... Does she know? The truth I mean?" Her question is quick to follow my explanation, so quick I don't understand it completely.

"What's that now?"

"Does she know the truth? Did she find out it was a set up?"

"Ah, yes well, it is kind of hard to miss when everyone is smirking at us as she helped me up. I had to explain the situation, and she got awfully flustered." A warm smile spreads across my face at the memory of her with a deep blush across her cheeks.

"I almost thought she would punch me as well, but she just kissed my cheek before saying she could never hate me."

"Aww." The crowd 'oohs' and 'awwws' at the story, I admit that the memory has me blushing slightly as well.

"She seems like quite the memorable lady." She smiles at me, raising her eyebrows slightly.

"Oh, she was great... I only wish I could've gotten to know her better, but her manager was getting calls for her every second of filming. She's probably much too busy to even remember me." I drop my smile slightly, I hope she remembers me, because I'll always remember her.

"I wouldn't say that David." Her response caught me off guard, what's she talking about?

"What do you mean?" My tone shows a little confusion, but I try to keep a check on my emotions.

"You know we invited you here to not only talk about this album, but also your future role in the film Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence?" She's grinning widely now, but I just want to know what she's building up to already.

"Yes... But what does that have to do with Y/N?" I squint my eyes slightly as I watch her sit up sharply.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the lovely Y/N L/N, who will be starring alongside David Bowie in Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence." The shock on my face must have been priceless as I turned and watched as Y/N gracefully walked towards us, the crowd's cheers quickly shifting into a mixture of giggles and laughter.

I stand up quickly, wanting to be polite as well as impress her. I may have neglected to tell the interviewer, but I did develop a slight attraction towards Y/N during filming.

"Hello Jonesey." Her sweet voice has me ignoring the name, a wide smile erupting across my face. She leans forward to hug me, kissing my cheek softly in greeting before shaking hands with our interviewer. I wait for her to sit before following suit, nervously glancing sideways to see her smiling at me already.

The crowd cheers for a few more moments, gradually beginning to quiet down.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Jonesey?" I blush at the nickname, remembering when she first started calling me it. I don't even know how it started, but she first called me 'Jonesey' to make me laugh when I was filming a serious scene in the video, and laugh I did. From then on, 'Jonesey' was her go to nickname whenever she saw me.

"It's only been a few weeks, love." I grin, patting her hand gently as it rests on the armrest. Surprise gripping me as she lifts up my hand to her lips, gently kissing it before speaking.

"Too long for me." She smirks playfully to me, and I offer her a warm smile in reply before nervously glancing away.

The crowd has quieted down enough now, hopefully not noticing the intimate moment that passed between us.

"What was that? Seems like a lot more than costars catching up." Of course, the interviewer is sadly never one to miss a possible question. My mind stutters as I try to think of what to say, luckily not having to.

"I just love making Jonesey blush, surely he's told you that."

"What do you mean miss L/N?" Oh no, why do interviewers always manage to dig up embarrassing personal things. I'm usually okay with this, but being so near Y/N just has my mind fried.

"I mean, hasn't David told you of all the times I purposely just tried to make him blush during filming? I have a wonderful amount of memories where he couldn't even get a word out with how flustered he was." She giggles at the end of her sentence, lightly shoving my shoulder humorously as a blush dusts my cheeks again.

"David? You've been holding back on me?" The interviewer looks at me in a jokingly accusing way, crossing her arms as she looks at me.

"Nooooo... I've just been.. Selectively sharing?" My voice is uneven, I couldn't even form a proper sentence when she was near me. I glance to Y/N as I practically ask my sentence, waiting for her to nod in confirmation before shifting back to the interviewer a little more confident.

However, that confidence was a little damaged when the audience laughed at the interaction.

"Well, I think we know who wears the pants in the relationship. Anyways... " The interviewer continues on as I struggle to try and find my words to argue with her, but I'm quickly silenced by Y/N's gentle tug on my sleeve. She pulls me back in my seat, quietly whispering in my ears,

"You can show me who's the boss after... " Her words are delicate, no longer exuding the confidence from earlier, clearly unsure of how I'll respond.

The interviewer continues rambling, but I simply gaze deeply into her eyes, calmly kissing her hand in response before we both turn our attention back to the interviewer. But we aren't really paying attention, our minds wandering to scenarios of what might play out when this interview finishes.

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

Hi! You always reblog really nice posts about mental health and writing, and I wanted to ask for advice! I’m struggling to focus on my writing. I spend the day thinking about scenes I want to improve etc, and when I can finally write I start doing something else, and then I waste my time with stupid shit on social media instead of doing what I wanted so badly! Do you have any tips that help concentrating? I turn off my Wi-Fi at times but my brain just keeps telling me to go check twitter or whatever, and I fall for it every time. :/ I write so slowly I lose a lot of nice stuff I make up in my head, I really wanted to get better at this. I love your blog, hope I’m not being annoying!!! Xxx

I am so sorry for the late response to this. I've been wrapped up in offline things and wanted to give you the proper consideration you deserve. You are absolutely not annoying - I'm sorry I've left you hanging for so long!

In terms of concentration, I don't know that I'm the best person to ask. I have an ADHD diagnosis and my meds help me focus. That's the simple answer, which I don't think is what you're hoping for.

BUT that being said, even with my meds, I also do the social-media-instead-of-writing thing and I completely understand how frustrating it is. I have ideas! They're good ones! But they evaporate the second I open the document, and to console myself, I seek out the instant dopamine of tumblr and pinterest, feeling guilty the entire time.

My question for you: are you trying to write everything in a straight line, or are you making notes for whichever scene is currently in your head? If I love a scene but I'm not there yet in terms of the overall story arc, I'll write that as it comes. I think of it as quilting: I come up with scenes like fabric squares, and then I can arrange and stitch them together as the narrative dictates. Sometimes they don't fit, and that's okay. Not all the fabric gets used in the quilt, but the simple act of writing benefits the whole. No writing is wasted.

There was a post here on tumblr that changed my entire outlook on living with ADHD, and it also applies to writing. I can't find the post right now, but it had to do with "junebugging": instead of forcing yourself to do a specific task, ie the dishes, you put yourself in the vicinity of the task, ie the kitchen, and putter around until you eventually get your hands in the sink. In the past, I would have been vicious to myself, cursing myself for my failure to just do the fucking thing, but if I'm a junebug - big and striped and a little dumb - I can bob around the lightbulb, occasionally harmlessly bonking against the glass in my single-minded pursuit of light. It's not my fault my executive function is fucked. It's just the way my brain is wired. Might as well embrace it.

It works for my writing too. If I'm not feeling particularly linear, I'll open the document and poke at what I've already written, or I'll brainstorm new stuff, or stitch some scenes together. I'd love to say I do this without judgement, because my therapist would be proud of me, but although I've gotten much better, I am still working on the whole "radical acceptance" thing.

And radical acceptance: it's hard. It's really hard, but it's so, so necessary. It can be true that you desperately want to write while also being true that you would much rather check twitter. These are not mutually exclusive. I want you to let go of that guilt, if you can. Like we say in my support group, if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now.

Look at your writing. Ask yourself what is stopping you, what's got you snagged like a sleeve on a doorknob. Are you not sure how to proceed? Does the scene in your head not fit with what you've already written? A piece of advice I got years ago: if you're having a hard time writing a scene, the problem doesn't exist with the scene itself, it exists three pages back. It's like trying to solve a maze: sometimes if you get stuck in a corner, you have to backtrack and find a new path. This might mean getting rid of something you've written - don't delete it. Don't delete anything. Open a blank document and copy/paste it in there. Label this document "bits and pieces". You might be able to use those bits - those quilt squares - later. Another piece of advice: what exactly is the story you're trying to tell? I'm having issues with my novel. It's ostensibly a murder mystery, but the mystery part wasn't coming together until I admitted it wasn't really a murder mystery, but a love story between the protagonists. Admitting that let me change my focus from the whodunit - which I hadn't connected with and felt forced to continue - to the developing relationship, with the whodunit as the vehicle. Now it's working a lot better.

The last thing I'll say is that you might be burnt out. That's okay. Muscles can push against a weight for only so long, and creativity is the same. Are you dreading opening that document? Take a break from it. Junebug. Work on something else. Take a shower. Clean the sink. Read something else you've written. Read something written by someone else. A farmer can't work the same field all the time without the soil getting depleted. It needs some fallow time and maybe a nice cover crop to recover. This is part of the process.

Be kind to yourself, my friend. I hear a lot of pain in your voice and I want you to know that it's all right. It's going to be all right. Even if you're not writing right at this second, you are still a writer. You will always be. Every writer that ever lived has gone through what you're going through. You're never, ever alone.

Take care, and let me know how it goes.

[hypnag0g]

Do you have examples of your web/graphic design-ish art on hand? I've caught glimpses and it's some REALLY excellent stuff

howdy! thank you so much for this wonderful ask, i very rarely get the chance to talk about my web/graphic design stuff, so seize any chance i can get! you'll have to forgive me for how scattered this everything is, my graphic design stuff normally ends up as a smaller part of illustrations, so a lot of it is gonna be cropped, haha.

my hypnagog header is probably the thing i'm most proud of, it was the first custom font i ever made that felt like i captured what i saw in my head. kind of a clunky way to put it but before this i'd change my header logo and general "branding" like once every three months, yet this one has stuck around for like 2ish years!! here it is in my classic colorway and my new green/orange one.

here are a couple of my older logos for a bunch of random projects (a comic about evil horses, a defunct community project, a bunch of little glyphs for hypnagog before i settled on my current aesthetic, and one for story about evil clones)

here are three posters i did for a couple of classes, they're more illustrative than graphic design but there's still elements that feel close enough to gd for me to post lol (a pitch poster for ANOTHER comic i was working on, an editorial piece about the recent HPAI surge, and a quick zine about my experiences with internet horror)

and FINALLY. here's my web design stuff. full disclaimer, i learned how to code on neopets, and i've never been able to break free of it's pull, so p much everything i've ever done for web design has all been on neopets, or on clone sites that emulate it pre-2007.

i'd love to link you these two but they're unfortunately behind a login screen on my current petsim of choice, so i hope the screenshots will do! these two are pet lookups coded from the ground up to look like social media profile pages (fun sidenote: Butch has a normal profile, Ransom is a silly hacker stereotype, and he had no choice but to "customize" his profile when faced with the insanely unsecured back-end of LUNET.)

aside from that, my other most recent web project was developing a really sleek character directory for my toyhou.se. i made all the graphics on this page and i'm super proud of it, haha.

oh i almost forgot. i also have a bunch of really dumb banners that my friends and i use in discord in tandem with a bot that posts them on command - most of them are intentionally designed to look bad, but some of em (especially the data "webba" banner) were made with a lot of care, haha.

i think i might be forgetting some things, but that's pretty much it! my next big project is building out my neocities - i'll definitely post about it when its finished because i wanna use it as a secondary posting location for all my stuff :o]

thank you again!!!!

[thespoonisvictory]

Happy New Year! Here's everything I watched and read in 2023

And also some misc. thoughts on the things that made an especially good, bad, or striking impression. If the thing is in purple, it was a rewatch! books are all rated out of five because there was a reasonable number of them. top five from each category are in the bottom for funsies.

*not including podcasts/dropout content. I'm up to date on make some noise, gamechanger, wbn, and d20 (mostly). I also watched the emily axford guest episodes and chapter 2 of candela obscura on CR

Movies

The Menu

Glass Onion

Romeo and Juliet (1996) (this is one of my fav movies of all time, I'll never get sick of it. just gorgeous top to bottom)

Rosaline (I went into this knowing I wouldn't like it and came out thinking it was just alright. lead actress is good, but I hate derivative Shakespeare works that don't understand the original story)

Hamilton

Tangled

Secret World of Arrietty

Honor Among Thieves (just a damn good movie, love the practical effects)

Mamma Mia!

Barbie and the Three Musketeers

The Three Musketeers (1993)

Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse

The Last Unicorn (rewatched this for the first time in at least a decade, what a gorgeous vibey fantasy film. something about the dark scenery and tone really sticks with me)

Nimona (thought Ballister was a great character and enjoyed the design choices for the world, a good piece of Knight (tm) media. however, I thought the animation was lacking and didn't think it deserved a best picture nom like a lot of people did. it was cute, not lifechanging)

The Green Knight (watch it)

80 for Brady (a request from my mom, surprisingly funny)

The Visit

Sweet Home Alabama (bad)

Barbie!

Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Pride and Prejudice 2005 (another one of my all time favs)

Sleeping Beauty

The Aristocats

La La Land

Red White and Royal Blue

The Princess and the Pauper

Barbie and the Three Musketeers (again)

Howl's Moving Castle

Girl Vs. Monster

10 Things I Hate About You

500 Days of Summer (made me cry, which I didn't expect. can you tell I had a joseph gordon levitt moment lol)

Get Out

Twilight

The Conjuring (I watch this every year, one of my fav horror movies)

Scooby Doo: The Witches Ghost

Kiki's Delivery Service

Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Love, Actually

Honor Among Thieves (again, but with my DnD party)

The Holiday (I mean. it's Jude Law)

The Boy and the Heron (holy fucking shit this was so good)

Asteroid City

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

In The Tall Grass

Books

Harrow the Ninth by Tamryn Muir: good! I fucking struggled at the beginning getting through but it paid off. (3.5/5)

The Falls by Joyce Carol Oates: a fun gothic romance/tragedy set in Niagra Falls which took an environmentalist angle I was not expecting at all. Picked it up at a Goodwill and enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. (4/5)

A Game of Thrones by GRRM: I mean, it's a classic. The way the plot unfolds at the end really is incredible, but from the first chapter it grips you. (4/5)

The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas: HOLY SHIT if you read one book because of me let it be this one, it is criminally underrated for how well known it is. It is thee action-adventure novel of all time, hysterically funny and easy to read. (5/5)

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern: I took a little dip into YA to bring some autumn vibes to my summer internship. Plot was bad, vibes came through. (2.5/5)

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte: fucking slaps!! anyone who thinks it isn't romantic is dead wrong, I found it much more engaging than Jane Eyre, the other Bronte novel I've read. (4.5/5)

Just Above My Head by James Baldwin: a gripping account of two black families before and during the civil rights movement, of which one son becomes a famous gospel singer. Julia, one of the daughters and a child evangelist, stuck with me long after I finished it (5/5)

Nona the Ninth by Tamryn Muir: enjoyed it more than HTN, Nona asking about her birthday present made me cry, as did Campal :( (4.5/5)

That Summer In Paris by Morley Callaghan: put me in a massive reading slump over a silly little Goodwill read, never have I been less entertained by what was essentially a book of entirely gossip about 1920s writers. (2/5)

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins: read it immediately after ABOSAS, holds up in its entirety, particularly in the environmental descriptions (4/5)

A Clash of Kings by GRRM: I've already posted about this a ton but holy shit, it's slow getting there but the payoff is incredible. really excited to keep reading bc George absolutely sold me on this web of political and personal relationships. (4.5/5)

A Place Bewitched and Other Stories by Nikolai Gogol: the cap for the year, bleak Russian short stories about weird little tales. would hit harder during fall. (3/5)

Shows

The Last of Us (as good as people said it was. sold me on zombie media as someone who does not like zombie media)

TLOVM S2

You S4 (a decent ending, parts with Love Quinn were the best lolol)

Succession S4

Shadow and Bone S2

Partner Track (CUTE. wish netflix didn't cancel it)

Marvelous Mrs Maisel S5 (a letdown tbh)

Game of Thrones S1

BBC Musketeers (I had a big three musketeers phase this year; this was my fav adaptation I watched. a lot of heart and a lot of silly, I am very biased about it)

BC Strike

Bridgerton - Queen Charlotte (I watched this in French, had a miserable time)

The Terror

The Bear (twice)

The Summer I Turned Pretty S2 (steven and taylor!!!!!)

Legends of Tomorrow S1-5 (rewatching with Roommate)

Yellowjackets S1

Over The Garden Wall (I watch this every autumn)

Gilmore Girls, Seinfeld (continuously)

The X Files S1-2

Blue Eye Samurai (shockingly blunt and visceral in everything from it's depiction of racism to fully committing to animating a boner).

Unfinished: Fionna and Cake, the Fall of the House of Usher. we're working on it.

Top Five Movies (no rewatches):

5. 500 Days of Summer

4. Get Out

3. The Green Knight

2. La La Land

The Boy and The Heron

Top Five Books:

5. Wuthering Heights

4. Nona the Ninth

3. A Clash of Kings

2. Just Above My Head

The Three Musketeers

Top Five Shows:

5. The Last of Us

4. Yellowjackets

3. BBC's The Musketeers

2. Blue Eye Samurai

The X Files

If you made it this far send me an ask telling me what ur favs were this year or thoughts you have on mine :)

[bitchgray]

How would you best describe each of your selfships? What aesthetic, things or colors do you remind each of them of? - meggs’s toothless anon

OH GOSH okay uhhhhhh....

Okay, full disclosure, if you're from the server then you are probably vaguely aware from the number I have put as server roles, I have like.....a lot of self ships. So to avoid this being a mile long post, I'm just gonna meander through a handful off the top of my head, many of whom are mentioned only briefly on the server, if at all (most of whom aren't even in my roles). If you had any ship(s) in mind that weren't covered here, please feel free to send a separate ask. Readmore-ing now.

Tim Stoker

Fire, for....reasons > - > (Most of these reasons are nice, but there are also sadder reasons)

In terms of colors....sorta pale yellow, for reasons I can't put my finger on, but. It's how he makes me feel.

Wolf memes/pictures. This isn't necessarily like. Aesthetic. But like. Okay, there's this one meme that's circulating around here--I have it somewhere--and Lili (touyaspeach) agreed that that's just. Him.

Additionally, in that same vein, The Bigfin Squid (Magnapinna). Another one where we just tagged him as a random animal and it stuck.

Almonds. Candied almonds. I'm throwing them at him from across the Archives break room and missing almost every time.

Holding hands, touching hands--like--that sounds weird out of context, but he's an exceptionally touchy person, and for me (touchstarved) that just. That being something just makes me soggy.

He's an autumn ship! So a lot of that gets wrapped up around him. Makes sense, too, given how he's from Spooky Media.

Clavis Lelouch

Well, easy/simple answer--pale lavender and blue grey for colors, because those are his canon colors.

His emblem animal is a leopard, but whenever I think about him, I just feel like I'm getting picked up and swung around like a housecat. And I'm even being nice about it, not even scratching or biting him, though he deserves it.

Lilacs for flower.

Gloved hands--because he almost always wears gloves and I almost always wear gloves, the contrast between that and skin contact is like.....powerful. Big stuff. If that makes sense.

Fancy ring on a necklace chain--that's how I keep my engagement ring safe, given that I don't want to risk it getting any sorta damaged while I work or train (knight).

Tea--it's one of the things he's really good at making--can't make food that seems normal for the life of him, but his tea I really love.

Swords. Easy answer, but in my defense, I *am* a knight in this, and he *is* a practiced fighter.

He's a spring ship.

Gale Dekarios

Purple for color. Easy answer, I know, but.

Also another easy answer--books. Books of all kinds with any kind of thing marking places--scraps of paper, ribbons, proper marks, feathers, gloves.

Stars! Like, constellations and shit. My self-insert is a sailor, so stars are a pretty important thing.

Embroidery in gloves and scarves. During my first winter in Waterdeep, he gets me a pretty scarf embroidered with flowers that matches his, and gloves enchanted to stay warm. I pretend to have forgotten them at home when I just wanna hold his hand when we're out at the market.

Swords. I like swords, in case you can't tell.

There's a lot of really pretty Magic that can fit into an aesthetic, he's so easy to be pretty.

I also like the idea of like....engraving runes or something on metalwork--because I end up taking up enchantment as a hobby and work source after Canon Events and Personal Story Events, so I think that counts as aesthetic.

I'm stealing Tara. Less a matter of aesthetic, just me saying things again.

He's kinda an end-of-autumn, start-of-winter ship.

Azul Ashengrotto

Well, he *is* part of the origin of Bitch Gray. His hair color is kinda like, emblematic of him, alongside purple and black and blue.

He kind of has his own distinct aesthetic, a sorta mob thing, but I'm trying to piece together something distinct from that, at least sorta.

Ink stains on hands. Can't separate from that image.

The dawn--I can't understand why, just. It seems like him.

Simple, delicate and elegant jewelry. Mostly golden.

He's another gloves ship. This one's more about touch/not touch again, because he's also touchstarved, so when we finally get together it's like...dams are open.

Water-dappled light. The sounds of the waves.

Love letters, filled with clumsy, frustrated poetry, sealed and never sent.

He's a spring ship--water getting warmer, the skies getting lighter, kind of just. Hope.

Anders

You know that iridescent green that black feathers can have? Yeah. That green and the black it's on.

He's another one who loves housecats. He gets a big cuddly orange boy, and I will die on this hill.

Dried plants--medicinal, mostly, but also things like pressing flowers in books.

Swords again, but this time with the image in particular of sharpening blades--of work and pride put into who we are, what we do.

Hand-written words. We both do writing, him for his work for mages, mine for simple pleasure.

He's another mage--so you can get Aesthetic Magic shots.

Also, hands. So much of his healing is based around touch, around helping create poultices and tinctures, or around using his magic. So I want to give him a tender touch, too, if he'd let me.

Secrets--hard to put into aesthetic form, I suppose, but. There's a level of trust with each other with secrets afterwards.

He's a winter ship. So he's fireplaces and warm cloaks and ensuring that the other remembered to bring gloves, bundling scarves a little closer.