#It's stuck to my head I'm thinking it for every piece of media I love me and this song we have a secret me and this book we have a secret

[illusoryfem]

Russian Ark (2002)

[bengals-barnesbabe]

mrs. burrow blurb…

825 words for anyone wondering

◎ ｡ ﾟ ❁ ﾟ ｡ ◎ * You've been drooling at your phone for hours (10 minutes) just waiting for your stud of a husband to get home from practice.

All your social media has are pictures, videos and gifs of your man just owning his practice look- well his Bengals gear. But no one should look that damn good at work, unless they're getting paid to. And last time you checked he was getting paid to throw a ball and run away.

"Baby!"

You jolt up from the couch to the sound of Joe's voice coming in from the garage.

"Where are you gorgeous?"

"Living room!" You respond with a smile in your voice.

You see him before he sees you, of course considering he's 6 '4 and 220 lbs of fine ass man. He comes in decked out in his "lady killing" gray sweat shorts and a tie dye muscle shirt with his practice bag swung over his tan broad shoulders.

"Well don't you look comfy." He chuckles nodding at your current state of being wrapped in a blanket like a caterpillar in its cocoon.

You smile unwrapping yourself and standing to your much shorter stature, not that it's ever been a problem for him. "You look like you want every woman within 100 miles to start ovulating."

He snorts and rolls his eyes before pulling you into his arms for a strong yet soft, comforting hug.

"I missed you." He mumbles into your 3 day twist out.

"You smell heavenly, oh I missed you too." He pulls back a bit with a blush heating his cheeks.

You chuckle as he composes himself. "I don't know what's going on with you today, but I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

Then dips his head to press his lips to yours. You hum sweetly into the kiss and rise to your tiptoes to reciprocate the gentle motions.

He pecks your lips once more before pulling back and smiling.

"I baked today." You beam.

His brows quirk up. "Oh yeah?" You nod and lead him to the kitchen. He sits at the counter as you place a cake plate in front of him, then lifts the translucent glass to reveal a sweet lemon Bundt cake.

"Wow."

You bite the bottom of your lip while cutting him a piece then handing it to him along with a fork.

"Thank you mamas." He says then takes a bite out of your homemade creation. You watch intently as he closes his eyes and throws his head back with a moan.

"Do you like it?"

"Oh yeah, fantastic. You did your thing baby." He responds, finishing the rest of his cake.

The joy you feel as the man you love cleans his plate is incomparable. Well you could compare it to the lust you feel when his body engulfs yours in any and every way.

Like when he walked in from an 8 hour practice looking like straight sex on legs. You'd never know how sexy a bleached buzz cut could be until he waltzed in that day.

There's nothing better than a man that just gets better with age.

"Babe?"

You shiver at the tone of his voice as he wakes you from your daydream. You lock eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Fuck, get me pregnant."

He steps down from the stool and smirks. "I think we already have that covered."

Still entranced in his beauty, you pout then feel a warmth around your midsection. You look down to see his hands rubbing on your bump, because you're 7 months pregnant. Which is why he said he was glad you were feeling better, because ever since your 3rd trimester started you've had more downs than anything.

"Babygirl must be having a quiet day if you somehow forgot about her." He jokes. You chuckle and place your hands on top of his.

"I didn't forget, I must've fallen asleep after baking. Then you walked in and I couldn't think of anything else." Then as if she was being summoned, your little girl starts to kick against his hands.

Joe kneels down and kisses your stomach. "I guess she was just trying to give her stunning mama a little break. Ain't that right Deya?"

"Deya?" You tilt your head amusingly.

"I've heard 'who dey' so much today, it's stuck in my head. I just wanted to try it out. What do you think?" He rose to his full height.

"Like Adeya Burrow? It's cute, we can put it on the list."

"Yeah?" He smiles. You nod.

"The list is getting pretty long though, we're gonna have to make a decision soon."

Your husband takes your hands in his and brings them up to kiss them. "We have time, but I think we have our two finalists."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

Turns out you didn't have as much time as you thought. At exactly 35 weeks, your twin girls Adeya and Ariel Burrow, were born. A surprise but the most loved and adored surprise they'd ever had.

Main Masterlist

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite QL Lines of 2024 💖✨

Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!

Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do!

��� All the lists can be found here! 💜

There are two things that will make a line or piece of dialogue stand out to me: the words themselves or the delivery. Sometimes it's only one of those things and sometimes it's both. When it's both? That line is going to stick in my brain for all eternity.

♡ From: Unknown

Listen. Listen. This wasn't just my favorite line of the year, it's one of my favorite lines in any piece of media I've consumed ever. EVER. IN MY WHOLE LIFE. It dethroned my former favorite BL line with the devastating force of a thousand suns. The longing and the love and the horniness are unspeakable and immaculate. Qian is going to hear those words echoing in his head for as long as he lives and so am I.

♡ From: Unknown

Another one from Unknown, which started us off so strong this year that it immediately became of one my favorite BLs. Yuan was just so reassuring and comforting in this scene. He's always been Qian's light and he will continue to be and that makes me so happy.

♡ From: Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

I just really liked the delivery of this one. I also appreciate someone who appreciates a good expression. If Ishida wasn't so completely gone for Mitsuya-sensei, I bet Noguchi would show him a good time.

♡ From: Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

*the sound of pained wailing comes from over in the corner*

♡ From: Kidnap

Was Kidnap a deeply unserious cotton candy show? Yes and I'm not here to tell you otherwise. But one thing it handled really well was Q's journey toward healing, which is a rare and lovely thing to see. This line and this moment were a part of that journey. Even though Q may still have nightmares sometimes, he knows he's no longer alone and that he has the tools and the support to help himself through.

♡ From: Love Sea

IT WAS HOT. THAT'S IT THAT'S MY REASONING, IT WAS THE HOTTEST THING MAHASAMUT SAID THE ENTIRE SHOW.

♡ From: Our Youth

*screams into one of those couch pillows*

The second I heard this line I thought to myself "Oh. This show is gonna be one of those." AND IT IS. The way Haruki's voice drops to a raspy whisper? The way the scene is silent except for the very soft sound coming from the TV? The way they're just so aware of each other?

*screams again*

♡ From: The Loyal Pin

This is my favorite line in Anin's confession monologue but the entire thing is beautiful and it's delivered beautifully by Becky. She's expressing so much and there's so much desperation and love and frustration in every little quiver of her voice. It's spectacular.

♡ From: Love Sea

And this was the realest and the pettiest and bitchiest thing he said the entire show, and for that I am deeply grateful. I hope to one day have the opportunity to say this about someone. Character of all time.

♡ From: Cherry Magic (Th)

I think it screams speaks for itself really.

♡ From: Jack & Joker

*more pained wailing comes from over in the corner*

♡ From: High School Frenemy

Yes yes yes, it's technically a bromance whatever but it's a BL to ME and I used up all my restraint not adding them to the couples list.

This is very far from being the most unhinged thing that Saint has ever said to Shin but it was so earnest and there was so much love and he endured so much pain so Shin wouldn't have to and they just have my whole heart. They love each other so much and this hug meant so much.

♡ From: The On1y One

I've written about this line before but it deserves to be talked about again because I still think about it all the time. It's one of those cases where it isn't so much the actual words that stuck in my brain, but the delivery. The cadence and the tone and the emotion. This was a spectacular performance from Liu Dong Qin and he deserves all the praise in the world for it.

I really hope we get that second season 🥲

♡ From: At 25:00 in Akasaka

This is me watching these shows. I feel seen and represented by this line and I've used it very often as a reaction image.

♡ From: The Trainee

I HAVE STILL NOT RECOVERED FROM THE "PHI" I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE "PHI" I WILL SCREAM ABOUT THE "PHI" FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS.

♡ From: Our Youth

I was actually just going to include the kiss line in this list but THEN HARUKI HIT ME WITH THIS STEEL CHAIR AND LEFT ME SCREAMING ON THE GROUND ON A TUESDAY AFTERNOON.

It's the delivery and the words and the utter SILENCE and the tension simmering beneath it all and just--

Exquisite. It's exquisite.

♡ From: Love for Love's Sake

The sheer earnestness of this line. The disarmingly sweet expression on Yeo Woon's face. The very cute, very subtle little pout. I love everything that's happening in this scene. Absolutely everything.

♡ From: Battle of the Writers

Not just this line specifically, but Pie's entire confession, which was one of the best and most earnest confessions we got all year. So much so that it's almost a crime that he and Ozone weren't the main couple. Even though there weren't many people who watched this show, everyone deserves to experience this confession in its entirety so allow me to transcribe it:

"What do you want me to say? You want me to say that...I have inappropriate thoughts about you? That I care about every little thing you do? To say that...I don't know when I started liking you? To say that, in Chiang Mai, I couldn't control my heartbeat when I was with you? Or to say that when you were with Min, I couldn't help but feel jealous? To say that at my nephew's wedding, I couldn't resist stealing a kiss from you? I don't want to complicate things. I don't want to get involved with you. I don't want to love you. But I also want you to stay with me."

[aurorawest]

Reading update

Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out by Ryan Love - 3/5 stars

The Fate of Stars by SD Simper - DNF at pg 32

A Gathering Storm by Joanna Chambers - 4.75/5 stars

I kept getting the Madame Leota room from Haunted Mansion stuck in my head as I was reading this (not a bad thing!). This book has a surprisingly low rating on the Storygraph, and I'm not going to torture myself by looking at the reviews, but I'm assuming it's because of the power discrepancy between Ward and Nick. Clearly it didn't bother me as I really enjoyed the book!

Dionysus in Wisconsin by EH Lupton - 4.75/5 stars

At some point I might get tired of Mid-Century Modern romances, but not this day. This book was super fun, with an interesting world and lovely characters. And a Midwest setting! I've spent a lot of time in Madison, Wisconsin, where this book is set, so I got the added bonus of knowing most of the places pretty well. There was even a shoutout to an obscure piece of Madison history, the Lost City in the Arb. I have to get the second book in the series now!boy

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan - 3.25/5 stars

I gave this book an extra quarter of a star for being written in 2003, when it would have been genuinely pretty groundbreaking. Reading it in 2024, it's very twee and pretty cringey (the queer utopia town would have been a magical fantasy in 2003, not so much now in a lot of places). When Levithan credited Francesca Lia Block's Weetzie Bat books in the acknowledgements, I though, ah. No wonder. Hated those as a teen.

All that said, there's some genuinely lovely writing in this book, and it has its place in the queer canon.

The Greywacke by Nick Davidson - 5/5 stars

Super interesting nonfiction about the discipline of geology and how the early geologic epochs were figured out. Also gave me an idea for a historical romance about gay Victorian geologists.

Home Grown Talent by Joanna Chambers & Sally Malcolm - 5/5 stars

I think I loved this one more than the first in the series. The social media scandal was perfect, in that it was exactly as absurd as every social media scandal is, and thus hilarious, but also chilling in how even something so stupid can ruin people's lives.

The First Bright Thing by JR Dawson - DNF at pg 1

Prince of the Sorrows by Kellen Graves - DNF at pg 30

Reuben's Hot & Cold by M Arbon - 3/5 stars

Slight Foxing Around the Edges by Melissa Polk - DNF at pg 132

Restored by Joanna Chambers - 5/5 stars

Balefire by Jordan L Hawk - 4.75/5 stars

A Rulebook for Restless Rogues by Jess Everlee - 4/5 stars

The Mars House by Natasha Pulley - 5/5 stars

See my brain vomit about this book here. If you've been around here for any amount of time you know all Natasha Pulley's books make me feral. Absolutely no exception here. I cannot believe her first UK publisher dropped her over this book. Idiots! It's wonderful just like everything she's ever written.

In the Case of Heartbreak by Courtney Kaye - DNF at pg 181

The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason - DNF at pg 21

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun - 5/5 stars (reread)

Just as good as the first time I read it!

Exhalation by Ted Chiang - 4.5/5 stars

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic - DNF at pg 84

Crisped + Sere by TJ Klune - 4.75/5 stars

It actually kind of makes me mad that this series isn't Klune's most famous work, because it's real good. At this point it seems kind of unlikely he's going to continue it, but man, I'd love another book.

These Silent Stars by Chani Lynn Feener - DNF at pg 68

Trailer Park Trickster by David R Slayton - 5/5 stars

See below.

Deadbeat Druid by David R Slayton - David R Slayton - 5/5 star

I LOVE this series. Love love love love. Absolute must read. If you're a fan of KD Edwards's The Tarot Sequence, this series is right up your alley. It seems like there will be more after this initial trilogy, and there's also a spinoff book coming soon which I'm super excited for. Read them!!

[lieutenantselnia]

Huh so apparently Austria won the ESC? I didn't watch it myself, I just saw people on social media both celebrating but also wondering how the hell we're going to afford that🤷 Somehow I forget about the whole event every year, like once it's over it's kinda wiped from my memory and always catches me by surprise when it comes back.

Also I was already spending the evening with watching Das Boot (the TV version of the 1981 movie) anyway, I tell you it was one of the most unsettling things I've watched in a while and I mean that as a compliment. I'm not afraid of the ocean in general (I'm aware of the power it has, but it can be really beautiful and I love going to the beach for the holidays when I'm able to), but while watching I was genuinely feeling terrified during some scenes. I think this can be mostly attributed to the amazing work of both the actors and filming crew (camera, lighting, sound design etc), it really pulls you in and makes you feel like you are there too, stuck in a crammed submarine at the bottom of the sea, knowing that either your oxygen supply will eventually run out or you'll be crushed by the immense water pressure. New fear unlocked I guess, and all that while I'm sitting in my room wrapped up in a cozy blanket and supplied with snacks, in a landlocked country nonetheless. I really liked the soundtrack though, in fact I think I've got the leitmotif stuck in my head now.

Also two kinda random points, during this shot that was weirdly focused on that fly crawling around over Karl Dönitz' portrait, for some reason the entire time I was expecting that someone from the crew would suddenly punch him in the face there (like as a metaphor or foreshadowing, and then be like "what are y'all looking at me I just wanted to get rid of the fly"), and I was lowkey disappointed it didn't actually happen:

Also I'm not that well-read on the organisational structure of the Kriegsmarine, but while Dönitz is never mentioned by name throughout the whole film, the "Befehlshaber der U-Boote" ("commander of the submarines") which was the position he held at the time, was brought up multiple times. Especially at one major plot point when the captain of U 96 mentioned he had received a new order from the BdU, it made me wonder the whole time if that meant that he had received an order from Dönitz personally or like if it was just forwarded by someone on his staff. From my understanding he already had quite a high-ranking position at the time and I wasn't sure if it would be realistic that he had the time to personally message one specific boat out of all the ones he was overseeing. I'm not sure how many submarines exactly the Kriegsmarine had in late 1941, but from what I could find on just a very quick search over a hundred for sure?

The other thing is this, and despite the serious tone of the series, there was one part that was kinda hilarious and that was Johann and whatever he had going on with the diesel engines. Does that technically make him canon objectum representation, I mean even the Wikipedia article mentions it?

When I woke up this morning I was actually wondering if there are any Johann x U 96 fanfictions (not even because I want to read them myself, I just wanted to know if they exist), and I was lowkey disappointed to see that at least on Ao3 there's apparently nothing? I expected people to be freakier about this not gonna lie, so often I've already seen posts about how there are probably fanfictions about basically anything imaginable, but maybe some are just harder to find than others.

Anyway I've been rambling too much once again, but you also wouldn't believe how much I got sidetracked while writing this (did you know that sawfish, despite their appearance, are actually a type of rays? I love collecting random pieces of knowledge while I'm actually looking for something completely different). I'm wondering if I should maybe make a custom tag for "reviews" of things I watched or read, because I feel like I've been doing that a couple times now already, even though it probably wasn't that often as my brain makes me want to believe (I think the last time was when I read Alf - I'm still not over that btw).

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/9/2023

the best photo i took this week

listening

i have not been keeping up with either the tuesdaypost spreadsheet or the tuesdaypost playlists so there's a strong possibility i have already talked about Joywave's It's A Trip! off the 2017 album Content. spotify

driving ten hours in one day is ideal for listening to albums and i listened to almost every joywave album on my way home from the eclipse. american indie rock band from rochester ny, i have loved them since early college. i think they were made in a lab to get to stuck in my head bc they tend toward lower register synthier tracks that deceptively amble cheerfully along and talk about dealing with fear. songs for a male protagonist to splash water on his face, look at himself in the mirror haunted by what he's seeing, linger in his children's bedroom doorways, and then drive off into the night for the finale.

i think i listened to this song for an hour on loop yesterday bc the chorus so perfectly got stuck in my brain

When you've gotten what you want (Maybe I should start over) There's nothing left to want (Up and at 'em again) You don't know what you want (Yeah, I'm thinking it over) Just tell me what to Want

they have spent a lot of time figuring out how to have longevity as a band: "The record kind of attempts to figure that out but it doesn’t end in a definitive place. For me personally, it’s just to create things that matter as long as I possibly can, and to make things that are going to outlive me that people can hang onto for at least five to six years after I’m dead." they are deeply cranky about virality/content churn, especially in this interview. i appreciate this in an artist.

could not tell you how i first found them. i think i would have to go back to the proto-tuesdayposts of 2018.

-

reading

when you're not sleeping well you can average a book a night!

Uprooted by Naomi Novik destroyed me. (image from here)

“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley. We hear them sometimes, from travelers passing through. They talk as though we were doing human sacrifice, and he were a real dragon. Of course that’s not true: he may be a wizard and immortal, but he’s still a man, and our fathers would band together and kill him if he wanted to eat one of us every ten years. He protects us against the Wood, and we’re grateful, but not that grateful.”

my best friend real-life influenced me into reading this book and i have since managed to convince four other people to read this book bc i won't shut up about it. the descriptions of the physicality of magic and how different kinds of magic and different families of spells Feel was only part of the coolest magical system ive ever read about. this is not a dark romance but it is a little brutal in a brothers grimm/this is how battles shake out sometime kind of way. i think a companion piece of media written from the Dragon's point of view would nicely parallel that post going around about how Howl's Moving Castle the movie is from Howl's point of view and Howl's Moving Castle the book is from Sophie's point of view. i would die for Agnieszka.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (image from here)

Miryem is the daughter and granddaughter of moneylenders… but her father isn’t a very good one. Free to lend and reluctant to collect, he has loaned out most of his wife’s dowry and left the family on the edge of poverty–until Miryem steps in. Hardening her heart against her fellow villagers’ pleas, she sets out to collect what is owed–and finds herself more than up to the task. When her grandfather loans her a pouch of silver pennies, she brings it back full of gold. But having the reputation of being able to change silver to gold can be more trouble than it’s worth–especially when her fate becomes tangled with the cold creatures that haunt the wood, and whose king has learned of her reputation and wants to exploit it for reasons Miryem cannot understand.

i don't know if i've ever read a book with seven points of view before? i think it was well handled, but it required significantly more brainpower than screaming through three of kingfisher's light fantasy/romances in two days and it threw me a little. saying this book is about debts cheapens it a little, i think. it is concerned with debts but also safety, and it is very much about cost in a very fairytale way and in the horrible everyday calculus of survival way.

Swordheart, Paladin's Hope, and Paladin's Strength by T. Kingfisher. god these go down So smooth. kingfisher has a niche and i respect that. i am reading the Saint of Steel tetralogy out of order bc even four library systems can only do so much, and i don't think you particularly need to read them in order.

i'm a bit cranky that the terfs took feminist fantasy from me, bc when the protagonist got her period in Paladin's Strength a little alarm bell went off in my head and i had to put it down and google some stuff (the answer is no btw). there is a way to write female-focused lightly historical fantasy without being terfy and kingfisher does it, but it's so rare that i was genuinely expecting some sort of. weird agenda to be at play.

these were all fun, fast reads and i don't have much else to say about them! not that they are better or worse than novik's books but they will not live in my head quite as long. there are fewer tantalizing hints about systems of magic that make me want to graph things out u kno

-

watching

kanopy has Animation April as their focus this month which is how i saw The King and the Mockingbird (1980, dir. Paul Grimault) which is a longer piece adapted from something he'd been working on since the 40s.

This animated fantasy tale follows the romance between a lovely shepherdess and a handsome chimney sweep. The land's imperious king falls for the beautiful woman and tries to thwart her relationship, but a kind mockingbird assists the lovers in evading the ruler. At the king's command, the chimney sweep and his bird friend are imprisoned, and they must escape in order to rescue the young man's true love.

GOD the animation in this. there are so many references to early animation and silent film. there are so so so many gadgets and methods of conveyance in an absolutely architecturally dizzying castle. there is a ROYAL MECH that plays its own theme music. the backgrounds have a very Chuck Jones quality in that they are exactly as detailed as they need to be for the gag to work. the castle is lush and beautiful but not dizzyingly, overwhelmingly lush. there is a clear vision to every shot and a clear path your eye is meant to travel, which i appreciate very much. i think a lot of technically impressive animation (i am specifically thinking of the Nimh movies) muddies itself by trying to jam too much on the screen. just a fucking delight of a film. a delicious confection

-

playing

nothing specific to say about genshin this week ur welcome

-

making

painted a frame (it was a dead basic michaels frame i got at a yard sale and it was giving little boy's room) and framed a thing. this is a poster that came as a freebie with a 1997 album, and i actually bought this CD case without the CD inside bc i was so delighted with the poster. scuff sanded the frame with 120 grit, i went with a matte black acrylic bc i felt that disguised how the poster did not quite fit the frame a little better? and also bc it was what i had in the house.

i did not bother with a mat, i just used the lining paper with the stock photo and painted the back of that. do not do this with particularly valuable or beloved pieces. i do not think this is necessarily acid free and there is some danger that the paint may transfer to the back of the poster over time.

[jellytheteawolf]

Gonna vent a little on here bc there's less ppl and it won't be pushed anywhere, mostly venting abt feeling some sort of imposter syndrome

I'm so fuckign sad. It's been building up the past month I feel bc I haven't been able to sit down and make original art. I've been really into nezha lately which helps with keeping my creativity a little, but I feel bad bc I haven't made anything original/focused on my original work lately

I have so many wip comics and pieces and in the past ie through highscgool I almost never had multiple wips at once bc I always managed to finish every piece I started. But now I have many ideas limited time/energy bc uni (or I might just be making excuses for myself who fucking knows) and I can't finish any original work at all. I feel like my skill is stagnating

Back in hs I took ap studio art in my junior and senior year, and I made full pieces like every week. Even when I was feeling burnt out I still managed to make something and my skill level shot up. Now I'm like. Fml

It's not the fact that I feel I am "losing relevance" or feel "pressured by the algo" or wtv. I've been sub 1k on all my social media for 6 yrs and I've long made peace with never having a large audience that'll like my original work /gen, I have many talented moots and that's good enough for me. It's the fact that I'm afraid I'm going to die without ever having published/shared my oc story, and my ocs + original stories will die with me

I've been concepting my Heartbreak story + ocs since middle school. They are my true passion project and inspiration and reason why I feel drive to create and be alive. I think of everything, the scope of it all, and I feel it'll never happen.

By scope I mean the complexity of the story and my skills being unable to convey it properly. On one hand I either put too much detail into a page that it isn't sustainable, or I don't do enough and I feel unsatisfied. Maybe all creators feel like this, maybe this is normal. But I want to fuckign bash my head in

I've been repeating to myself that any progress is still progress. And that trying at all is better than not doing anything. But online I see ppl saying things along the line like... no one cares if it's a passion project if it's bad. And usually I'm good abt not gaf but it's been getting under my ski and sometimes I wonder if it's better to just save myself the effort and heartache and just. Not do it

Especially bc I'm not majoring in art/my career won't be in art. When I was applying for colleges my mom told me that if I chose art path she would not pay my tuition nor support me in any way shape or form. "It's your life and I won't interfere" except fucking leave it entirely huh. I get it comes out of a place of care esp since they're first gen immigrants and they know that other paths are more stable but it's just. Idfk man

And I'm a pussy. A fucking coward. I am stuck in a gray area where I don't want to "suffer" like an art student and be forced to make so much art where the joy is sucked out of creation for me. But I love art too much to just let it go. I can't choose one or 5he other completely bc I'm greedy and stupid

And yea art as a hobby exists but then circle back to my ocs and stories and fear that I'll die with nobody ever knowing their story.

I want to make a oc comic so bad. But I'm too cowardly to commit to the effort and tears it'd take to make it good. I'm too cowardly to be on my own and get cut off, too cowardly to be an art student, too cowardly to do fucking anything except feel bad about myself. And I could write it. Except I'm shit at writing and it doesn't scratch the same itch drawing does.

And all of that combined with the idea that it doesn't deserve to be seen/shouldn't be seen if it isn't "good." Makes me feel I should give up

I won't though, at least not completely. Because I genuinely would not be able to forgive myself if I gave up. Idek know what I'm doing I'm scattered everywhere I can't think of anything. I have no vision for my future in a world that demands a clear vision to survive.

I tire myself too. I'm just like a cockroach who wants to die but can't commit and do it. If I feel horrible everyday, at least I'll try for my friends. If I can make my friends happy at least a few more days in the infinite future I think I could. Forgive myself a little. 老娘 is fucking tired

[inventedfangirling]

BEST of BL's in 2023 [Thai edition]

(more accurately my favourites from 2023, so that i have something to show for the 100s of hours i spent watching them lmao)

I Feel You Linger In The Air - Head & Shoulders above (almost) every single piece of queer media i've ever watched. Khun Yai and Jom will be forever icons. That drunk poem confession will NEVER be topped. Also LESBIANS AHHHHHH also the way the show explored intimacy AHHH just end meeee

2. Moonlight Chicken - Aof strikes again. Gave me Uncle Jim, Heart, Li Ming and my baby boy Gaipa- the music, the cinematography, the writing, the found fckin family - i will recommend it to EVERY one on the planet if i could.

3. Be My Favourite- I did not expect to enjoy this show as much as i did. I loved what they were tryna say. I LOVED the queer undertones in EVERYTHING. if not for the asexual erasure and Not being an absolute asshole this would have been quite the perfect show. And man is Gawin so darn sculpted perfection, LOOK AT THAT FACE, how to not admire!? Also Pearmai my beloved. AND THAT POEM in episode 11 ARGHHH

4. Bed Friend - I know this was a polarizing series in a lot of ways and I agree to some of the complaints raised BUTTTTTT NET MY FRENZ NET! How am i supposed to not melt into a complete puddle watching King pretend to not be absolutely in love with Uea, and treating him like the babygirl he is, when he looks like THAT. I'm but a mere mortal.

5. La Pluie - I kinda liked the show and disliked it in equal amounts. Saengtai annoyed me quite a LOT towards the end BUT his brother Sangtien - Suar Kritsanaphong had me in the palm of his hand. Him and his kiss with Lomfon is etched firmly in my brain. It HAD to be on this list.

6. Only Friends - Gawd. The Promise. The Promise of it all. Thats what maddens me THE MOST. There was just SO MUCH that they could have done. Even if they stuck with a lot of their similar choices i would have still put it higher up on the list if they hadn't undone all the good work they did in the final episode. I couldnt even bring myself to rewatch anything from this one cos of how disappointingly it ended. That being said - FirstKhao KILLED it as usual, i CANNOT wait for their next one, BOSTON deserved better and my MVP- Mark Pakin AHHH i NEED him on EVERY SHOW EVER but also in ways concerning to me GAWD WHAT A TALENT AND WHAT A FACE.

7. Laws of Attraction - Charn you guys. Charn and his utterly deranged expressions and his even more deranged ex. And ofc everything else the show offered. The drama. The mystery. The family. The romance. THE LESBIANS!!!!? Few things not to love. Especially the finale with all the domestic husbanding going on. Precious af.

8. Hidden Agenda - Far too much nonsensical plotlessness going on here for this to claim this position BUT i'm just a girl watching Joong swoon over his man and losing it in the corridor and proceeding to do that myself cos man he's so damn good in these kinda scenes. I think he'd be good in more serious ones too but I would much prefer it if it was with somebody who could offer more than Dunk (no shade he very cute himself)

POTENTIAL FAVS

The following is a list of shows i loved/liked it a LOT but still watching/running so I can't fully judge

(in no particular order except the first one cos who am i to put an aof show not at the top of any list)

Last Twilight [BEST THING EVER I AM WHOLLY AND IRRETRIEVABLY IN LOVE IM GONNA REWATCH IT LIKE ITS MY JOB PLS I NEED IT TO STICK THE LANDING SO BAD]

Love in Translation - episode 4 what a beauty, one of my fav episodes of any BL in 2023 ever- just LOVED the whole fake date thing - it was EVERYTHING

Wedding Plan - Leads are cute. Lesbians are cuter. Made me laugh. Also CUTENESS hello

Night Dream - Who doesn't love a long unrequited but actually totally requited love story?

The Sign - nothing i can ever say is gonna be enough to encompass just how mind-blowing this series is from concept to execution to CGI to costumes to the gorgeous leads with fckin electric chemistry AND the PINING and the will they won't they arhhhh- TOP TIER STUFF

Cooking Crush - i went into this with minimal expectations, the trailer didnt do much for me BUT oh my gawd i had SO MUCH FUN with each episode, i laughed SO much and i am very much looking forward to the rest of it

Cherry Magic - TayNew back again together. Karan and his gorgeous existence. Loved the og. The trope where one believes they are hard to love & someone who loves them like it’s breathing- its literally made for this show and i am SUPER excited where it goes. PLS PLS PLS let them keep the aroace character aroace PLEASE!?!?!?

[mrmustachious]

Header image and questions from @ficwip! You can find the list of questions here <3

How many fics have you worked on since January?

157 total fics, including one shot collections posted into one ao3 work.

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

Writing 100 Drabbles! I've never attempted to write drabbles before, and this was a fun and interesting challenge.

What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

Definitely Thunderbirds as always.

How many fandoms did you write for this year?

2 (Thunderbirds and 9-1-1: Lone Star)

What ships captured your heart?

Pen&Ink was the one I wrote the most for, but I probably spent more time thinking about Tarlos.

What characters captured your heart?

Gordon Tracy (ofc <3) and Carlos Reyes.

Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

Nope

What fic meant the most to you to write?

there’s no one I can trust, I used to think there was

I put a lot of love and care into that fic. It's one of my favourites I've ever written. I loved every second I spent writing it and I'm still so proud of it.

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

two hearts that beat in the rhythm of one

This fic is just a load of love and sweetness and it just made me so happy to write. I would love to write more for this universe.

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

Whump 100

I was chipping away at this fic all year determined to finish it by the end of the year, so it was very satisfying to finish all 100 drabbles.

What fic was the most difficult to write?

aAsWlAeKeEp

This fic went through several rewrites until I got it to a place I wanted it to be. It was really difficult to try and portray what I was picturing in my head, but eventually I was happy with it and I love the finished product.

What fic was the easiest to write?

This is hard to pick just one, a lot of them were pretty easy actually, especially the shorter ones.

What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

Shortest are probably the drabbles I wrote at 100 words each, the longest is there’s no one I can trust, I used to think there was at 13k words.

What were your go-to writing songs?

Anything by Citizen Soldier. I listened to them a lot this year.

What was the hardest fic to title?

Some of my Whumptober fics were hard to title, hense why they're just named after the prompts XD

What's your favorite title of the year?

aAsWlAeKeEp

I have yet to see anyone comment on it though... XD

Share your favorite opening line

Penelope stood at the edge of the sea.

(AU (Elementals))

Share your favorite ending line

Hopefully, he wouldn’t dream this time.

(aAsWlAeKeEp)

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

“I think that you two have an unbreakable bond, but without realising it, you’ve been putting too much strain on it over the years. It’s not going to snap, it never will, but it will weaken. I think it already has.”

(there’s no one I can trust, I used to think there was)

Share your funniest line

It must have been a sight. Gordon and Virgil bleeding, John white as a sheet, Scott looking haggard and on the verge of tears, and Alan-

“Alan’s stuck in the tree,” was the first thing he said to her.

“Right,” she said, with a single nod.

(Babysitting)

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

I didn't expect there’s no one I can trust, I used to think there was to get as dark as it did, but adding the darker themes of Gordon's past just added to the story and explained much better why he was the way he was and the way he acted.

What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

Mainly Google Docs and Fighter's Block.

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Completing Whumptober for the 6th year.

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Start a new one XD

How did you recharge between fics?

Either watching a show, playing a game, or reading.

Did you create fanworks other than fic?

No

How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

Whumptober, 12 Days of Christmas, and 100 Drabble Collection: Whump Edition

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

ME. jk, probably my fandom friends and readers <3

What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

Maybe some more winter themed fics. I have a few I have yet to post, but it would be nice to try and write more!

What would you like to write next year?

I want to reach my 200th ao3 work! I have a fic I have been working on for a little while now and I want to finally get on with writing it and finish it, and post it for number 200.

[airenyah]

QL Wrapped 2023

i was tagged by @nongnaos and @ranchthoughts thank youuu <333

i meant to upload this at the latest by december 31st, but the thing is when i saw the tag i was a little overwhelmed at first bc i didn't know how to fill it out and then once i had it all written out i had a super hard time deciding on what to gif and then it all ended up taking soooo much longer than planned. and now it's already 2024. oops. well, better late then never...

so without further ado:

You watched 12 QLs this year that's about 264 hours!

(i'm counting only qls that started airing 2023 bc i didn't keep track of every single show that i watched and it's a lot easier to count all the 2023 dramas on mdl lmao)

You primarily only watched QLs from Thailand

i blame my bachelor thesis for this which i was writing on the translation strategies of thai to eng and also the fact that i'm learning thai, so any time i watch a series i'm like "do i watch something from a country other than thailand tonight??" only for a little voice in my head to go "yeah but you COULD be spending your evening practicing thai listening skills" so yeah...

You spent way too much time thinking about these characters: Pat Napat Jindapat

listen. LISTEN. i know ok, i know bad buddy is from 2021 not from 2023. however!!!!! bad buddy was part of our skyy 2 and that included my boy pat and so i'm counting it!!!! i'm always thinking about pat napat jindapat ok bye

no for real tho. i am NOT kidding when i say i have spent hours on end thinking about pat in the year of our lord 2023, two full years after the show dropped:

maybe in 2024 i'll finally sit down and write that meta that's been in my head for two years now

Your favorite show was Moonlight Chicken

it's gotta be the chicken show for me. yeah. it just felt so... idk, real in a way. idk how to explain it. i'm not even obsessing over mlc all that much but any time it pops into my head i go all kinds of 😭😭😭 and 🥰🥰🥰

not to mention the firstmix

the heartliming

and most importantly earth and fourth as an uncle/nephew duo??

i am so🥺🥺🥺

special shoutout also to jimbo the cat (left) who looks almost exactly like coco, my family's cat (right):

Another one of your favorites was Last Twilight

just. the way p'aof shows relationships on screen okay. yeah.

i cry

You are still stuck in this hallway:

yeah i've been thinking about the yank-kiss-yeet scene from hidden agenda and joke breaking down afterwards in that very hallway for 19 weeks straight gay. bye.

The soundtracks you listened to the most were:

(according to my spotify wrapped top 5)

Just Friend? (Bad Buddy)

Our Song (Bad Buddy)

น้ำลาย (My School President Cover)

Secret (Bad Buddy)

yeah. i've given up on the "only 2023 media" thing. if we're talking songs only from series released in 2023 then i've got love love love (our skyy 2) on no. 32 and no more empty nights (our skyy 2) on no. 46 on my spotify wrapped

also if you're wondering what the 5th song (on no.3 in reality) from my top 5 was that's missing above where i only mentioned four songs, well, it's none other than tilly birds' same page? which yeah. is also bad buddy related. surprise surprise 🤭

Your overall bl mood was P'Aof

You created 15 gifsets (of which "only" 1/3 were about making other shows about bad buddy)

you can find them here

You shazammed 295 royalty free background music pieces/songs from thai dramas

fun fact: i haven't mentioned this publically yet but since thai dramas keep using the same music over and over again in various series i've actually started collecting the different songs/pieces and i'm planning on making a side blog about it. i just want to go through some more dramas first before i publish anything. so this is something you can look forward to in 2024 dkjfkfdj

currently shazamming my way through bad buddy (you may have seen my blorbo breakdown about pran in the ep4 sleepover scene the other week that was triggered by me shazamming all of ep4). next on the list: theory of love and the eclipse. it takes ages tho, so don't expect it any time soon

Your favorite acting pair was JoongDunk

(is anyone even surprised by this lol)

no but for real whatever these two have going on, i'm intrigued:

i just. i love their energy ok. they're fun. and they're clearly having fun

i couldn't decide on what to gif so here's a little compilation bc fuck it, this is my post and i get to do whatever the fuck i want

(actually there's more that i could have put in there but i didn't wanna waste any more time with posting this tag game and also i was trying to keep the compilation somewhat short lmao)

they are such silly little idiot boys ("little" says the 155cm tall short person about the 180+cm giants 🤭) and i adore them &lt;3

their energy is essentially this meme and i'm so here for it:

and they just communicate so well when they're performing and you never feel like either of them is "alone" on stage (doing his own thing in his own little bubble), it's SUCH a joy to watch!!!! once again plugging two of my all time fave performances that i've been rewatching over and over again for the last 3 months:

also dunk is just SO little brother-shaped to me idek!! looking at his face just makes me go into big sister mode. it doesn't help that he's only like a month or so older than my actual little brother. AND he reminds me a lot of one of my fave kids from my youth group that i used to go to for years. dunk natachai has klein-andi energy and you all don't know what that means but i know what that means as does my mom and she agrees. so.

tagging:

i feel so ashamed for not making it in time before 2023 ended so i'm not gonna tag anyone but if you see this and you really wanna do it bc you haven't done it yet then please do so and tag me because i say so!!

and mutuals, send me yours bc i'm not sure i saw everyone else's!!!! (@celestial-sapphicss @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @telomeke @waitmyturtles @dribs-and-drabbles did you guys do this already and if yes, send me yours? i must have missed it 🥺🥺🥺)

[kundel-bury]

I think that I genuinely don't want to be here anymore. Each time I have a slight bit of hope that maybe, MAYBE things will work out, something or someone will stomp that hope into the dirt. Most of the time it's my mom. How is it that the one person who is supposed to love and support you unconditionally is the one who hurts you the most? Almost every piece of media we consume as children tells us that our mom's will always be there for us, that we will always be their babies and yet here we are, faces stained with tears and heads full of hateful words spoken by the voice that used to sing us to sleep after we had a nightmare when we were little. But despite it all, she's still my mom. I love her and I hate her, I never want to leave her side and I want to be as far away from her as I can, I want her to hold me in her arms forever and I never want to feel her touch again, I want to talk with her all day and night and I don't want to speak a word to her until I die. I hate that everytime I get angry I can see her in my reflection, it feels like she passed her uncontrollable fury onto me, as if I spend those 9 months soaking in it. I am a part of her and she is a part of me. I can't run away from this, from her. And a piece of me doesn't want to run, it wants to stay, because it's familiar, I know what to expect from living with her, it's like a security blanket that is also trying to suffocate you. The course of my life depends on her mood, stay quiet, don't complain too much, do as she tolds, don't have opinions and DON'T go against her. It's a secure foundation that I can stand on, if I leave I will have nothing. It's like I'm set up for failure either way. I think I'm slowly dying in here, stuck in my room and rotting away.

[thespoonisvictory]

Happy New Year! Here's everything I watched and read in 2023

And also some misc. thoughts on the things that made an especially good, bad, or striking impression. If the thing is in purple, it was a rewatch! books are all rated out of five because there was a reasonable number of them. top five from each category are in the bottom for funsies.

*not including podcasts/dropout content. I'm up to date on make some noise, gamechanger, wbn, and d20 (mostly). I also watched the emily axford guest episodes and chapter 2 of candela obscura on CR

Movies

The Menu

Glass Onion

Romeo and Juliet (1996) (this is one of my fav movies of all time, I'll never get sick of it. just gorgeous top to bottom)

Rosaline (I went into this knowing I wouldn't like it and came out thinking it was just alright. lead actress is good, but I hate derivative Shakespeare works that don't understand the original story)

Hamilton

Tangled

Secret World of Arrietty

Honor Among Thieves (just a damn good movie, love the practical effects)

Mamma Mia!

Barbie and the Three Musketeers

The Three Musketeers (1993)

Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse

The Last Unicorn (rewatched this for the first time in at least a decade, what a gorgeous vibey fantasy film. something about the dark scenery and tone really sticks with me)

Nimona (thought Ballister was a great character and enjoyed the design choices for the world, a good piece of Knight (tm) media. however, I thought the animation was lacking and didn't think it deserved a best picture nom like a lot of people did. it was cute, not lifechanging)

The Green Knight (watch it)

80 for Brady (a request from my mom, surprisingly funny)

The Visit

Sweet Home Alabama (bad)

Barbie!

Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Pride and Prejudice 2005 (another one of my all time favs)

Sleeping Beauty

The Aristocats

La La Land

Red White and Royal Blue

The Princess and the Pauper

Barbie and the Three Musketeers (again)

Howl's Moving Castle

Girl Vs. Monster

10 Things I Hate About You

500 Days of Summer (made me cry, which I didn't expect. can you tell I had a joseph gordon levitt moment lol)

Get Out

Twilight

The Conjuring (I watch this every year, one of my fav horror movies)

Scooby Doo: The Witches Ghost

Kiki's Delivery Service

Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Love, Actually

Honor Among Thieves (again, but with my DnD party)

The Holiday (I mean. it's Jude Law)

The Boy and the Heron (holy fucking shit this was so good)

Asteroid City

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

In The Tall Grass

Books

Harrow the Ninth by Tamryn Muir: good! I fucking struggled at the beginning getting through but it paid off. (3.5/5)

The Falls by Joyce Carol Oates: a fun gothic romance/tragedy set in Niagra Falls which took an environmentalist angle I was not expecting at all. Picked it up at a Goodwill and enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. (4/5)

A Game of Thrones by GRRM: I mean, it's a classic. The way the plot unfolds at the end really is incredible, but from the first chapter it grips you. (4/5)

The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas: HOLY SHIT if you read one book because of me let it be this one, it is criminally underrated for how well known it is. It is thee action-adventure novel of all time, hysterically funny and easy to read. (5/5)

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern: I took a little dip into YA to bring some autumn vibes to my summer internship. Plot was bad, vibes came through. (2.5/5)

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte: fucking slaps!! anyone who thinks it isn't romantic is dead wrong, I found it much more engaging than Jane Eyre, the other Bronte novel I've read. (4.5/5)

Just Above My Head by James Baldwin: a gripping account of two black families before and during the civil rights movement, of which one son becomes a famous gospel singer. Julia, one of the daughters and a child evangelist, stuck with me long after I finished it (5/5)

Nona the Ninth by Tamryn Muir: enjoyed it more than HTN, Nona asking about her birthday present made me cry, as did Campal :( (4.5/5)

That Summer In Paris by Morley Callaghan: put me in a massive reading slump over a silly little Goodwill read, never have I been less entertained by what was essentially a book of entirely gossip about 1920s writers. (2/5)

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins: read it immediately after ABOSAS, holds up in its entirety, particularly in the environmental descriptions (4/5)

A Clash of Kings by GRRM: I've already posted about this a ton but holy shit, it's slow getting there but the payoff is incredible. really excited to keep reading bc George absolutely sold me on this web of political and personal relationships. (4.5/5)

A Place Bewitched and Other Stories by Nikolai Gogol: the cap for the year, bleak Russian short stories about weird little tales. would hit harder during fall. (3/5)

Shows

The Last of Us (as good as people said it was. sold me on zombie media as someone who does not like zombie media)

TLOVM S2

You S4 (a decent ending, parts with Love Quinn were the best lolol)

Succession S4

Shadow and Bone S2

Partner Track (CUTE. wish netflix didn't cancel it)

Marvelous Mrs Maisel S5 (a letdown tbh)

Game of Thrones S1

BBC Musketeers (I had a big three musketeers phase this year; this was my fav adaptation I watched. a lot of heart and a lot of silly, I am very biased about it)

BC Strike

Bridgerton - Queen Charlotte (I watched this in French, had a miserable time)

The Terror

The Bear (twice)

The Summer I Turned Pretty S2 (steven and taylor!!!!!)

Legends of Tomorrow S1-5 (rewatching with Roommate)

Yellowjackets S1

Over The Garden Wall (I watch this every autumn)

Gilmore Girls, Seinfeld (continuously)

The X Files S1-2

Blue Eye Samurai (shockingly blunt and visceral in everything from it's depiction of racism to fully committing to animating a boner).

Unfinished: Fionna and Cake, the Fall of the House of Usher. we're working on it.

Top Five Movies (no rewatches):

5. 500 Days of Summer

4. Get Out

3. The Green Knight

2. La La Land

The Boy and The Heron

Top Five Books:

5. Wuthering Heights

4. Nona the Ninth

3. A Clash of Kings

2. Just Above My Head

The Three Musketeers

Top Five Shows:

5. The Last of Us

4. Yellowjackets

3. BBC's The Musketeers

2. Blue Eye Samurai

The X Files

If you made it this far send me an ask telling me what ur favs were this year or thoughts you have on mine :)

[bitchgray]

How would you best describe each of your selfships? What aesthetic, things or colors do you remind each of them of? - meggs’s toothless anon

OH GOSH okay uhhhhhh....

Okay, full disclosure, if you're from the server then you are probably vaguely aware from the number I have put as server roles, I have like.....a lot of self ships. So to avoid this being a mile long post, I'm just gonna meander through a handful off the top of my head, many of whom are mentioned only briefly on the server, if at all (most of whom aren't even in my roles). If you had any ship(s) in mind that weren't covered here, please feel free to send a separate ask. Readmore-ing now.

Tim Stoker

Fire, for....reasons > - > (Most of these reasons are nice, but there are also sadder reasons)

In terms of colors....sorta pale yellow, for reasons I can't put my finger on, but. It's how he makes me feel.

Wolf memes/pictures. This isn't necessarily like. Aesthetic. But like. Okay, there's this one meme that's circulating around here--I have it somewhere--and Lili (touyaspeach) agreed that that's just. Him.

Additionally, in that same vein, The Bigfin Squid (Magnapinna). Another one where we just tagged him as a random animal and it stuck.

Almonds. Candied almonds. I'm throwing them at him from across the Archives break room and missing almost every time.

Holding hands, touching hands--like--that sounds weird out of context, but he's an exceptionally touchy person, and for me (touchstarved) that just. That being something just makes me soggy.

He's an autumn ship! So a lot of that gets wrapped up around him. Makes sense, too, given how he's from Spooky Media.

Clavis Lelouch

Well, easy/simple answer--pale lavender and blue grey for colors, because those are his canon colors.

His emblem animal is a leopard, but whenever I think about him, I just feel like I'm getting picked up and swung around like a housecat. And I'm even being nice about it, not even scratching or biting him, though he deserves it.

Lilacs for flower.

Gloved hands--because he almost always wears gloves and I almost always wear gloves, the contrast between that and skin contact is like.....powerful. Big stuff. If that makes sense.

Fancy ring on a necklace chain--that's how I keep my engagement ring safe, given that I don't want to risk it getting any sorta damaged while I work or train (knight).

Tea--it's one of the things he's really good at making--can't make food that seems normal for the life of him, but his tea I really love.

Swords. Easy answer, but in my defense, I *am* a knight in this, and he *is* a practiced fighter.

He's a spring ship.

Gale Dekarios

Purple for color. Easy answer, I know, but.

Also another easy answer--books. Books of all kinds with any kind of thing marking places--scraps of paper, ribbons, proper marks, feathers, gloves.

Stars! Like, constellations and shit. My self-insert is a sailor, so stars are a pretty important thing.

Embroidery in gloves and scarves. During my first winter in Waterdeep, he gets me a pretty scarf embroidered with flowers that matches his, and gloves enchanted to stay warm. I pretend to have forgotten them at home when I just wanna hold his hand when we're out at the market.

Swords. I like swords, in case you can't tell.

There's a lot of really pretty Magic that can fit into an aesthetic, he's so easy to be pretty.

I also like the idea of like....engraving runes or something on metalwork--because I end up taking up enchantment as a hobby and work source after Canon Events and Personal Story Events, so I think that counts as aesthetic.

I'm stealing Tara. Less a matter of aesthetic, just me saying things again.

He's kinda an end-of-autumn, start-of-winter ship.

Azul Ashengrotto

Well, he *is* part of the origin of Bitch Gray. His hair color is kinda like, emblematic of him, alongside purple and black and blue.

He kind of has his own distinct aesthetic, a sorta mob thing, but I'm trying to piece together something distinct from that, at least sorta.

Ink stains on hands. Can't separate from that image.

The dawn--I can't understand why, just. It seems like him.

Simple, delicate and elegant jewelry. Mostly golden.

He's another gloves ship. This one's more about touch/not touch again, because he's also touchstarved, so when we finally get together it's like...dams are open.

Water-dappled light. The sounds of the waves.

Love letters, filled with clumsy, frustrated poetry, sealed and never sent.

He's a spring ship--water getting warmer, the skies getting lighter, kind of just. Hope.

Anders

You know that iridescent green that black feathers can have? Yeah. That green and the black it's on.

He's another one who loves housecats. He gets a big cuddly orange boy, and I will die on this hill.

Dried plants--medicinal, mostly, but also things like pressing flowers in books.

Swords again, but this time with the image in particular of sharpening blades--of work and pride put into who we are, what we do.

Hand-written words. We both do writing, him for his work for mages, mine for simple pleasure.

He's another mage--so you can get Aesthetic Magic shots.

Also, hands. So much of his healing is based around touch, around helping create poultices and tinctures, or around using his magic. So I want to give him a tender touch, too, if he'd let me.

Secrets--hard to put into aesthetic form, I suppose, but. There's a level of trust with each other with secrets afterwards.

He's a winter ship. So he's fireplaces and warm cloaks and ensuring that the other remembered to bring gloves, bundling scarves a little closer.

[zehecatl]

2025 media thread, part April

5th April: The West Canal by Jesse Hajicek

really good piece of short fiction! the romance is a bit hurried, but considering the length, i think it's fine, and, for me at least, the most outstanding part of this one is the world building. like. there is something really cool here, and i can't believe the author didn't expand on it. and by that i mean i would very much have liked to read that

primarily, i read this because i wanted to buy the author's longer work, The God Eaters, and i figured, hey- should probably check i like their work first. and i do now own that book, so, like

it has a very specific vibe that i love, which is basically 'slash fiction from the early 2000s'. which. gestures at the time stamp. i don't know what it is, but works from that era hits different. it's why i was so interested in their book (and the fact that it was originally posted to livejournal..), it's like crack to me. i always, always, want more, and Jesse Hajicek is delivering

can't wait to read The God Eaters, i'm foreseeing some Real Normal hours about that one in the future

(and! you can actually read it all online! i'm just weird!)

11th April: Still Wakes The Deep

so i'm a huge fan of not just the ocean, but also of the mechanical stuff we put on (and in) it- submarines, ships, oil rigs.. they are my beautiful wives who wish me dead, and this game was soooooo tailor made for me

like, straight up, i was having such a great time just being on the rig that the horror passed me by entirely. this fucker wanted me to be experiencing the horror of a cramped, claustrophobic, space falling apart at the seams, and i was joyfully looking at everything like 'omg 😍 look at those bits! and bobs! 🥰'

there is so much detail put into the rig. and i'm maybe not knowledgeable enough to appreciate them to their full extend, but i CAN make heart eyes at every corner. and i did so very much do that

(also i adoooore the way the sea is done here. this great big Thing you're stuck on, all frothy waves and misty expanse. it's great)

all that aside, Still Wakes the Deep is so very much made with love. the authentic accents, the story, the characters- even as i didn't get every little detail, i felt the time and effort poured into this game. it's the kind of layered story that says something, and i'm sure plenty of people have made deep and knowledge essays about it, and i do, really, need to go listen to some of them, but i'm also just a simple gal, who likes the horror at it's presented

it's a story about being eaten alive, both metaphorically, and literally. it's about unleashing something, and working to put it back, and ough, even just writing this out now, i realise how well done this game is, as both a piece of horror, and as a metaphor. it works! it works so well! go play it!!

14th April: Mouthwashing

yeah okay, Mouthwashing's great

genuine masterpiece of a horror game- tightly wound, well-written and put together, a visual treat. love the cinematic energy of the whole thing, made it a real joy to play, and it's got layers, too. definitely the kind of game that deserves a replay

but. honestly? didn't click with me as hard as it probably deserves. not in the sense that i had a bad time playing it, because i did very much do this in one setting, but... idk. it's just not quite There, for me

also, as much as this is very much a story about Anya, the fact that we spend so much time in Jimmy's 'Anya who?' head does make her fall through the cracks for me. just a little 🤏

i love her, she's absolutely my second favourite, but i also just find myself waaaay more fascinated with Jimmy, and the weirdo freak thing him and Curly got going on. like. what if you were so obsessed with one guy you both deify and desecrate him? what if you wanted so badly to be worth something you kept on breaking everything around you? what if you were SO misogynistic??? i want to skin him alive. for study

19th April: CAPTAIN YAJIMA

look. it's Worthikids. do i actually really need to say anything except that? it's great. it's hilarious. i had a blast. go watch it

(also, okay, i will add- obsessed with the way this one is done. the retro vibes!! the way it all looks like puppets/claymation!!! THE JAPANESE VOICE ACTING..! i want a full series so bad, because i think it would be the Actual Best Thing Ever)

25th April: The Gaslight District

unsurprisingly, the new GLITCH show fucking slaps. absolute banger, the most stylish thing they've ever put out. there is something so visceral about this show's style, the almost claymation/doll style of it. like, this is so cool, all the way down, and it's a treat to watch

even better still, it's not just all style, no substance- there is plot, here, and obviously we're just barely seeing the glimpse of it, but ooooh, if that isn't a fucking beast. the lore, the world-building... it's delicious. it's so genuinely creative and imaginative and grimy, and i am so charmed. it's just so cool!! i want to see more very much immediately!!!

AND, EVEN BETTER STILL, SOMEHOW- THE WRITING! IS GOOD!!! it's still very much in its set up stage, as above, but ough, that's some good shit. the subversion of Jack just being Mel's friend, the strained father-daughter bond between Mel and Ken, Ken's very obviously (but still mysterious) past... even just the way the dynamic between the family is being set up, i'm love them. it's so good

also the Virtues are so hot. and i want Temperance back. and Diligence to be a main villain. and i need episode two, and i need it so bad

[bigfatmusicblog]

The Blah Keys: Have the Black Keys ever released anything interesting?

I won’t lie, The Black Keys were a big part of my life during my early teen years. I was borderline obsessed after hearing Brothers for the first time, finding that album as well as Catch & Release at my local library. Which - they don’t have CD’s and DVD’s at any libraries near me and that’s a damn shame. I miss the nostalgic feeling of obtaining literally hundreds of dollars in library late fees after losing every piece of media I ever got from there, ah the good ole days! I was locked in there for a second and when the album roll-out for their true breakthrough record El Camino started I made it my whole personality. El Camino’s became my dream car, at least the El Camino on the front of the album which isn’t really an El Camino and I wish I had known better at the time. I even bought a graphic tee just because it had El Caminos (the real version) on the front and said El Camino. Telling all my friends that “this is basically Black Keys merch” (I think this is also around the time I sharpied “Oi punk isn’t dead” on the back of a white shirt, god I was so cool back then) and them feigning interest and hitting me with a “oh, sure, awesome dude.” My love for them fell off a little due to both me, alternative radios, and car commercials severely overplaying every single song of theirs, but still when I saw Turn Blue, after it came out, at a Target (indie record store alert!!!)  I said to myself “hey, new Black Keys, why the fuck not?” Proving ultimate fan-ship, the ability to set aside past differences and still purchase an album of theirs on a whim.

This all changed one day when I got a notification for an article about some sort of beef that had started between their drummer, the loveable douche, Patrick Carney and some other alternative artist of the same era whose name I can’t remember for the life of me. The thing that stuck with me the most from this article was a phrasing that the other artist used to refer to them, calling them The Blah Keys. I know a lot of folks in this camp’s main critique is that they are a band who claims to be Blues Rock and they are just… not? I guess, I don’t know a ton about blues rock but I’m willing to learn! But I think because I respected the opinion of this second artist I can’t fucking remember the name of, it made me think back on the overplayed nature of their previous release. Was I tired of these songs because they’re overplayed? Or are they so boring or blah that relistenability is inherently a dredge, trudging through the fuzzy slush just to make it to the end. 

Anyways I don’t think I ever listened to another Black Keys album again. However, due to the nature of the world right now, nostalgia is more powerful than ever. It has a stronghold on me! I have to force myself to listen to new music or else I would just listen to the same emo playlist I made when I was 18. Because of the aforementioned nostalgia thing, I’ve been doing a lot of deep dives on my favorite artists growing up and so naturally eventually I would make my way to the Black Keys. And, what’s even more exciting, they’ve released four new albums since I cut off contact with them! Sounds like a home run! Until I hear this little voice in my head, from some unknown musician that I’m too lazy to try and figure out the name of, whispering The Blah Keys, the Blaaaaaah Keys, like a fucking Scooby-Doo ghost. 

In order to not be embarrassed by my choice of artist to deep dive, I thought what a better time to test this Blah Keys theory and answer the question - Have the Black Keys ever released anything interesting?

Since they have twelve albums I will be separating this article into three parts - in a kind of an insane order to listen to a bands music but whatever. It is nice of them to have twelve albums by the time I'm writing this, ahhh a beautiful 4-4-4, we love natural aesthetics.

First off: The new stuff. Diving into the four new albums they’ve released Post-Hiatus that I know absolutely nothing about. Starting from their most recent release I will work my way down their catalogue till I get to “Let’s Rock” (eyeroll).

In the second part I’m going back to the basics starting from The Big Come Up to Magic Potion. I am a bit more familiar with this side of them though I think mostly through rappers I know using their songs as samples to beats.

Lastly I will delve into the part of their discography I, and probably a lot of you, am most familiar with - the Danger Mouse years. Hitting up this one last not only because I am so familiar with it but also I believe this section has the greatest likelihood of having something interesting in it. So who knows? It might be the buzzer beater the Black Keys need to beat the Blah Keys allegations.

Note: I’m not spending any time on any of the EP’s or anything they’ve released, if you are a diehard and after all of this think I am truly missing out on something please let me know!

So yeah, whether you love or hate this band I hope you like what I have to say and I would love to hear from all of y’all your opinions on this band. See ya soon :)

[itsventika]

What's the Vibe? 2.14.25

January is OFFICIALLY over. and god did it feel like it took forever. Now that we're halfway through February, lets see what the vibe has been!

What I've Been Up To:

Aside from trying to literally SURVIVE this insanely hellish place that is Earth, I've also been trying to at least make some time for things that bring me joy. I know times are extremely scary right now with everything going in the states, and while yes, we should be scared right now, we have to remember to try to take care of ourselves, both physically and mentally. I've been trying to make sure I'm still staying informed with the atrocities that are going on, but also still limiting how much time I dwell or doomscroll, making sure I make time for my loved ones and doing fun things. Now is the time to build community and rely on each other for support and a shoulder to lean on. And I just want any and all of my mutuals to know, that I am always going to be a safe space and I am forever giving you guys hugs from way over here.

Updated Selfie - I'm cute, I know. :P

Improv Class - Next week is my final class for Improv 1, and it's been SOOOOOO much fun. The art of thinking on your feet, and not thinking as hard as I usually have to has been something I've grown to love. Also, just doing the ugly things and not caring if you look silly or what other people are going think has been great. I'm definitely looking forward to going further with improv and acting overall.

Workspace Vibes - I've been thrifting hardcore to make my space feel exactly how I want it to. And so far, we're looking phenomenal! My movie collection is growing rapidly and my plants are thriving, so I have nothing to complain about!

& 5. Current designs I'm working on to add to the shop - I've been wanting to do more NSFW designs, fangirly stuff and then of course more designs geared towards my fellow black girls! I haven't been feeling very wrestly lately, so I'm not sure how much deathmatch or wrestling related stuff I'll be adding to shop, but you never know!

Music

Omar Apollo: If Omar isn't my top played artist for the first quarter of the year, something is terribly terribly wrong. Because he's been on repeat since the end of last year and I still just can't get enough. My obsession started when I heard Hit Me Up with him, Dominic Fike and Kenny Beats. And then it just spiraled from there. Spite is probably my forever favorite, along with Ice Slippin and Live For Me.

Abra: Okay, so I've been a fan of Abra for yearsssss. And it's been a minute since I listened to her music. I was watching Assassination Nation the other day when I remembered that I still followed her on instagram and decided to take a trip down memory lane. Goddddd she is amazing. Her entire album Rose is such a vibey experience. I think my faves are U Kno, Pride and $hot.

Lola Young: I will forever love how authentically herself Lola is. When I first heard Don't Hate Me, I was like 'Okay, this is cool' and then I moved on. And then of course the social media rulers kept throwing Messy in my face, and yep. I loved it. It's definitely in my rotation heavily. So I finally decided to give the entire album "This Wasn't Meant For You Anyway" a listen and Conceited?! Chokehold. That's what that song has had me in. It makes me think of a movie scene where there's a car chase and it's all dark and moody, and the driver is speeding down the highway in the rain constantly looking back to see if they've lost the person chasing them. Idk.. that's just the vibe I get cause the song is to simply put it cool. And then I listened to You Noticed, and I died. That song hit every piece of my heart and I actually cried because it really resonated with some life situations I've had going on. Lola is just so great. Thanks for listening to my rant lol.

Pet Shop Boys: West End Girls has been stuck in my head for over a month if I'm being 1000% honest. I really wish I was a teen in the 80s because they just had some of the best music, movies and overall aesthetics. They were just so fucking cool. And Pet Shop Boys proved that with West End Girls.

TV/Movies

Arcane: I was bullied (not really lol) by my coworkers to watch this show. Usually I don't watch a lot of animated things, and if I do, it's more like 80s-90s cartoons because that's the kinda art that I enjoy. But I gave in and gave Arcane a shot, AND I GOT MY HEART BROKEN!!! I can't think of another show that has broken me (other than Sons of Anarchy) the way this show has. Powder just wanted to help and literally everyone died and GOD was it one of the saddest moments I've ever seen. Vi never meant to leave her sister, and watching them have to work so fucking hard to get some sort of a bond back? Crushed me. Also, I know I know.. Silco is a "villian" but he really loved Jinx, 100% as she was, and that meant so much to me. To have someone love you wholeheartedly with all of your flaws or imperfections is so rare, and he really loved her as his own. They can never make me hate him, and I absolutely shed a tear when he died. Vi is hot. She's my favorite lol. We're just going to ignore the fact that she fell in love with a cop and joined forces with them and focus solely on how badass of a character she was. She wasn't afraid to throw hands and always fought for what she loved. There's so much about this show I can rant on about. From how everything could have been prevented if Jace had just listened to Viktor from the beginning, to how literally Viktor went on to try and create a hive mind and how TERRIFYING that is, or how it was honestly so cruel of that scientist guy to have kept Vander alive all that time and turn him into a monster and when we thought he would be saved again, we were left crushed. He didn't deserve that. The girls didn't deserve that. How dare they! Anyway.. I will never recover from this show. And this is exactly why I don't watch new things lol.

Honorable Mentions:

Sing Street: This movie was cute! It wasn't at all what I was expecting, but I loved it and it was a fun watch. I'm pretty sure I only put it on cause the guy from Wayne was in it and I needed background noise, but I ended up giving it my full attention lol.

Erin Brockovich: I kept seeing clips of this on TikTok, so I finally gave it a chance since it was on Tubi. Julia Roberts is just so great. Her performance of a single mom of three who basically goes in and demands a job at this law firm place and then goes on to uncover this crazy contaminated water scandal was phenomenal! And her outfits (which her coworkers tried to judge her for) were so hot. To find out this was a true story is even better! I LOVE badass women who don't take no for an answer and stand up for things they believe in.

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