#It's just that they got bold because they figured out how to lick the peanut butter without getting snapped

[doberbutts]

I would feel bad for the mice that get caught in my traps if it were not for the fact that I have now killed 3 in the span of 2 hours to the same trap. I feel like if you keep sending members of your family out to forage for food and they keep going "ooo! Yummy peanut butter :)" to the same very obvious trap in the same location, at some point that's kind of on you.

So now my reaction to walking into the room and seeing the exact same trap with yet another mouse inside is "...idiot" instead of "poor thing".

[loulougoingsolo]

Dang, these memes are dank

I'm, yet again, a day late with my GMM comments. I had a very active day yesterday, considering the fact that I never left my home - but more about that in another post. I also admit, I figured since there's no new GMM today, and I was a little tired last night, I'd take advantage of the "free day".

Yesterday's GMM was one recorded during the quarantine, so that topic is unavoidable in this post, but let's not allow that impact the fact that this was a brilliant, hilarious episode, and a prime example of the resoursefulness and creativity of the Mythical team. But now, let's talk about memes!

I should probably tell you from the start that this post will include quite a few memes. Not sure if they qualify as dank. Probably not. I'm not a meme expert, or even a dank dad. I'm just a girl with a questionable sense of humour and too much time on my hands.

But, lucky for us, someone at Mythical came up with the brilliant idea of educating both us, the viewers, and Rhett and Link in the fine art of memes. Stevie introduces the guys with some classic meme images, and asks them to add the texts to these pictures. The funnier dad meme gets the points, which escalate each round. The loser gets a unflattering meme of himself posted all over the internet.

I haven't quite finished the internet yet, despite the quarantine, but I do appreciate a good meme when I see one. But can two middle-aged guys come up with innovative memes, and most importantly, will Stevie find them funny?

In the first round, the blank meme to use is the confession bear. I laughed way too hard on Stevie's version of this, probably because I just watched a Buzzfeed (😬) video where people tried to guess blindfolded, which scented candle was the Gwyneth one.

I actually think Link's confession about vaping his own burps was pretty hilarious, but somehow, the bear's sad face fits so well with the idea Rhett wears a beard not because he wants to, but because he doesn't want to scare the kids. Also, the more I think about it, the more I feel Link's confession was a bit too gross even for a meme.

I wasn't familiar with the This is how I win meme, probably because I haven't seen the movie, and I don't like Adam Sandler. I love how Link feels it necessary to explain that the meme is actually about how you lose, not win. Such a dad thing to do. But his actual meme is funny. You can hear the frustration in Stevie's voice when she says she has experienced Link being late in real life. Rhett putting a nature doc on for Barbara isn't nearly as plausible.

It's actually very educating to hear the background stories of these pictures. The next meme is Me explaining to my mom. Link saying good night to his shoes reminds me of when I talk to the spiders which cohabit my house. They are just as responsive. But Rhett really went sophisticated with his version. I'm sure he got lots of laughs in the wood community for that one.

In the last round, the meme to use is "Change my mind". Now, I had no clue about who Steven Crowder was, but Stevie calling him a piece of s**t send me to google things, and what I found explains the comment. (I haven't watched that video yet, and I may not be able to. I'm also not sure if I want to.)

Anyways, let's talk about how Link actually feels about Adam Driver. Why would he even care about whether Adam Driver is hot or not? (If you ask me, not.) I question sometimes, if Link is actually a teenaged girl, and not a dad (pulling out an American Girl Doll in More didn't help)- why else would he ask Lily for an opinion about Adam Driver's hotness? I love Link and his strange mind.

But, despite Link's unexpected revelation, he fails to impress Stevie by using hair as floss - and let's be real, it's hard to top anything involving Rhett's wenis. Rhett wins the game, and the meme of Link with the snake is already in circulating the world wide web.

In More, we get an excercise session with Emily. Link loses the coin flip, and has to endure Jade licking peanut butter off of his lips (which really isn't that much of a punishment). I love how everyone in this video call finds the sight of Link and Jade adorable. I mean, look at Rhett, and Emily just went aww.

I love watching these video calls, even if this probably wasn't the most effective excercise video I've seen (but it was the most entertaining). I love Emily's Alf plushie, and I'm a little creeped out by the One-Eyed Tammy. I am slightly concerned by how impressed Rhett is by the hand trick he learned on TikTok - and even more convinced that TikTok is not good for people's intelligence.

But it's good to see that everyone is doing ok. This More made me feel warm in the heart region, too. 💗 (At least until Link brought up Tammy's eye-socket.)

I'm planning to post a little story about my diy hair situation together with comments on how R&L did Alex's hair on GMM tomorrow. There will be pictures of my hair. It is pretty bold, not completely bald, and probably the coolest it's ever been. But until then, stay safe!

[ladyamandapanda12]

The King and I Chap.3

Thanks for patience everyone! Im officially settled and have my writing office set up!

Woohoo!

Warnings: Adult Content

Chap. 2 Here

Chapter 3

Rehearsals had run late that night. Like past dinner and well into the night late. Tia didn’t return to the palace until 1am. She felt terrible for missing dinner, especially since it was her first night back in the palace. However, with a semi new crew, and a new soundboard for her techs to master, rehearsal didn’t run as smooth as anticipated. As Tia made her way inside the palace and towards the stairs. She pondered if she had the strength to make it up all 32 steps. Luckily her hunger was rising, and she knew that there were always leftovers in the kitchen. So she waved a passing hand at the taunting steps and made her way to the kitchen.

To her surprise, she was not the only one looking for a late-night snack. Maurice the chef from Cancun, Mexico was also in the kitchen, rummaging over the left overs. Maurice hadn’t noticed that Tia had come in, but she was too tired to scare him. Instead she took a seat at the counter, and waited for him to turn around and acknowledge her.

“Buena Noches lady Tia.” He spoke as he continued drying the dishes.

“Don’t you mean Buenos Dias? It is technically morning.”

“You are right Buenos Dias, Como estas?”

“I’m sleepy and hungry as fuck.” Tia stated with an unapologetic giggle.

“Well I made spaghetti for dinner. I can heat some up for you.” Maurice offered, Tia gave him a quizzical look.

“Neh no thanks.”

“The usual then?”

“Yes please.”

As Maurice moved to grab the box of graham crackers. He snatched the peanut butter up along the way, last stop was for the honey.  Maurice then remembered that he had given it to Sebastian while they did arts and crafts earlier and the little one never brought it back. As he explained to Tia the reason for the lack of honey, someone else was listening outside of the hallway. Whom was also having a tough time sleeping. Maurice poured Tia a glass of warm milk, and giggled as she drooled over the simple snack.

“Yep that’s my little one. He’s creative as fuck. We may not ever see that honey again.” She smiled as she stuffed the topped graham cracker in her mouth.

“He misses you so much when your gone T. Sometimes I make his favorite dessert 4 to 5 times a week just to cheer him up.”

“I don’t know how he has time to miss me. We talk on the phone damn near every day!”

Maurice busted out in a laugh. In the midst of calming he noticed a familiar figure in the hallway that startled him. However, as he was about to offer them to join them, they motioned for him not to say anything.

“I kid you not! Like when I am at my daytime job, everyone knows to leave me alone between certain times. But I love it. We always talk about different stuff, he’s always so warm, and I miss these two boys all the time. They have become my world.”

“So here’s a more important question… How are you going to explain missing first night’s dinner? Hmm?”

Tia rolled her eyes and started massage her temples.

“That new sound board is a BITCH!” Maurice couldn’t bite back another gut bursting laugh. “I mean a true bitch from the beginning to the end. It did not like me, or the sound techs. Praise god that the manual wasn’t thrown out! SO my techs will be going over it the next few days. The damn machine is smarter then all of us college degreed heathens put together. But it’s okay I’m too tired, and the milk is getting to me. So if you will excuse me, I will see you in the manana.”

“Wait I have a question. When are you and Chris going to get your feelings together and get together.” Tia just looked at Maurice.

“Ha, yeah okay, considering he despises me, and I’m not too keen on him yeah…. Good Night Maurice.” Tia stepped out and didn’t even notice the figure standing merely 5ft away behind her. Or so the figure thought. “Go to bed Sebastian, you should be in bed too Chris.”

Sebastian was puzzled turning around he realized his father was behind him listening as well. Maurice knew Sebastian was there, but Chris was news to him. Once Chris stepped out Sebastian said good night to both men and ran upstairs. Once the little one was out of sight Maurice bowed his head and acknowledged the king, and began to clean up the kitchen again. Chris moved to the fridge to grab a beer. Maurice pulled out the pop top opener and handed it to him. Chris popped the cap off and caught it before it could hit the floor. He leaned against the fridge and took a long draw from the glass bottle. With a breath and some liquid courage, he spoke.

“If she only knew.”

Maurice turned to look at him, he was taking another swig of his beer. “Pardon me your majesty?”

“If only she knew. I don’t despise her at all. It’s just… I can’t not right now. I have to look out for my boys. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who.” Chris began counting on his fingers. “One has no title, two lives on the other side of the world, and three wont love me. I just can’t.”

“In her defense your majesty you haven’t made it easy for her to love you.” Chris looked at Maurice he wanted to be upset with him but he knew he was right. “Secondly you know if you married her she would move here for you and the boys. Now the title thing I can’t solve, but if you make her your wife. Wouldn’t she become a duchess or something like that?”

“Yeah something like that.”

“And you know you don’t have to worry about the boys. They love her to pieces. She would fit right into this little routine you guys have going on. And she would make a lovely acting queen. But that’s my opinion, and I’m biased sooo do what you feel in your heart and gut is best. Good night your majesty.” Maurice gave another little bow and started to exit the room. He had made it to the door when Chris pipped out.

“I do love her.” Finishing off the bottle.

Maurice turned around, and walked back up to where he was standing. “Then tell her. Show her, she thinks quite the opposite of you right now. But she’s too open minded to stay that way. Play on that, show her that you want to be with her. She will come around.”

“How do you know?” Chris looked at the man with heavy eyes.

“Because she loves your kids. And she respects what you do as a king. She thinks you’re a handsome douche.” Maurice then winced that wasn’t supposed to come out. “But like I said show her how you feel and she will come around.” Maurice turned and this time tried to leave a little more hastily before he word vomited again.

Chris placed his bottle in the sink and made his way from the kitchen back to his chambers. On the way back he thought about how he could convey his feelings to Tia. A short walk later and he was passing her bedroom. A part of him told him to keep walking, the other part told him to go in there and exactly show her how he felt.  As he stood there and pondered his choices he decided he would knock and gauge her reaction. He knocked 3 times quietly trying not to alert the palace of his plans.

Tia was in her robe after a quick shower. Her body still a little damp not realizing her breast were on partial display she opened the door, expecting a little one for a good night kiss. To her surprise, it wasn’t a little one at all.

She was in awe really. His face flushed, and the smell of alcohol coming off his breath was slightly making Tia wet.

“Yes sir? What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to make sure you got the pictures the boys made.”

“I did. They are great thank you. I love all the little arts and crafts projects. I keep them in a scrap book at home. So when they get older and start to date I have embarrassing photo ammo.”

Chris couldn’t stand it anymore. The natural scent of Tia’s body and the smell of shower gel was intoxicating Chris. Tia noticed that his pupils had gone dark. Also that an erection was growing under his pajama pants. As much as she would like to ride that ride she couldn’t. She shouldn’t, ‘too much on the line’ she thought to herself.

“Well if that is all I think I will turn in. I’m going to have to answer for my absence at last night’s dinner to our mini parliament in the morning. Ill need my sleep for that.” Tia let out a nervous giggle. Chris moved his hands across his pants rubbing his erection. Not breaking eye contact with Tia he took a step closer and placed his arms around her waist. Tia was very much caught off guard, but she wasn’t going to pull away. She had always been curious about Chris. Chris licked his lips, and moved one hand up to Tia’s breast. Massaging it wanting to expose it to the cool crisp air to get its reaction. He wanted her mouth on his. He rubbed for her nipple through the thick fabric of the robe. And even through the thickness he could feel her nipple hardening. Tia made a bold move and moved her hand to his erection. Tracing the length of it with two fingers.

As she looked back up into Chris eyes she knew what was going to happen and she welcomed it. She placed her other hand on his face to move him closer to hers. So close they could feel the heat pass from one mouth to the other. As Chris moved his head, for his mouth to take hers she opened slightly for him. He crashed his mouth on hers, pulling her closer to him. The kiss was different, fireworks is not a grand enough word. Tia broke the kiss for air. She tried to step back, but Chris grip was still firm. She smiled at him and as she motioned for him to join her, an unsuspecting voice broke through the silence. They released each other immediately and looked to see where the voice came from. It was Henry, half asleep and on his way to the restroom. He didn’t even notice them really, just counting his steps.

“I better go make sure he makes it.” Chris spoke surveying Tia’s face searching for something he wasn’t sure of.

“Of course we don’t want any accidents in the hall. Good night your majesty.”

“Chris. And I plan on finishing this conversation.”

“Chris, I would love that. Good night, and kiss the little one for me.”

As Tia stepped back and motioned to close her door, Chris stepped in and pulled her forward taking another passionate kiss from her. His tongue danced with hers, she moved her hands to his face to get a grip on her situation. She broke the kiss and looked at him.

“Yes I would certainly love to finish this convo. Good night Chris.”

Tia playfully and gently pushed him out of the room with two of her fingers. Once he was fully out she shut and locked the door. Taking her first deep inhale since he had knocked. She stumbled to bed on a passion high and fell straight to sleep. After Chris made sure Henry made it back to his room. He was again faced with the same dilemma as earlier. ‘Do I knock and see what happens? I want her, Its just… Maybe… not yet.’ As Chris began walking back to his chambers he had a devilish grin on his face.

‘Not yet but soon.’

@sergeantmistress @myluvislikewow @devikafernando @daisykane535 @theycallmebecca @toc1985 @smilexcaptainx @thaniya82 @emilyevanston @evansscruff

If I missed you it wasnt on purpose send me a message and I’ll add you to the tag!