#It's just that nighttime sets in a terrible existential dread for me.
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I really hope I can find some ability to fall asleep easily before winter, because untold horrors will emerge if I wake up at 4pm when it is already dark outside.
#Absolute unparalleled suicidality when this occurs.#Half of the insomnia is purely psychological.#So I am able to fall asleep at 4am in summer because that is when it gets light again.#It's not really about some fear of the dark... I am comfortable in near or pure darkness.#It's just that nighttime sets in a terrible existential dread for me.#It's rather caveman-esque if you think about it.#Ah whatever...#It is not that serious. I just don't enjoy winter.#delete later.#It's a nighttime thing not a darkness thing so having a light on at night will not help me. I don't actually like that kind of thing...#The most I accept is the miscellaneous light from outside so I don't mind having a curtain open. It's pleasant.
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