#It's hard to feel fanny and Elinor's pain and not get mad

[bethanydelleman]

Do no harm

It is kind of shocking how much harm is done in Jane Austen novels by people who have no freaking idea that they are causing damage. You might say “unconsciously done”

Marianne in Sense & Sensibility thinks that Edward loves Elinor and is maybe prevented by his mom from proposing, she has no idea that Edward is actually engaged to Lucy because Elinor hides her pain. She has no idea how awful this speech is, but we do:

“Do you call me happy, Marianne? Ah! if you knew!—And can you believe me to be so, while I see you so wretched!”

“Forgive me, forgive me,” throwing her arms round her sister’s neck; “I know you feel for me; I know what a heart you have; but yet you are—you must be happy; Edward loves you—what, oh what, can do away such happiness as that?”

“Many, many circumstances,” said Elinor, solemnly.

“No, no, no,” cried Marianne wildly, “he loves you, and only you. You can have no grief.”

Similarly, in Mansfield Park, Mary and Edmund have no idea that Fanny loves Edmund, which twists a perpetual knife in Fanny’s heart. I think for her it’s even worse than what Aunt Norris does. Like this seemingly innocuous reference to Mary when Edmund compliments Fanny’s gown:

“Your gown seems very pretty. I like these glossy spots. Has not Miss Crawford a gown something the same?”

And then we have Mr. Bennet in Pride & Prejudice joking about Mr. Collins’s letter and destroying Elizabeth, completely unaware:

Elizabeth tried to join in her father’s pleasantry, but could only force one most reluctant smile. Never had his wit been directed in a manner so little agreeable to her… It was necessary to laugh, when she would rather have cried. Her father had most cruelly mortified her

In Persuasion, Mary Musgrove, who probably did intend to hurt Anne a little, but had no idea just how terrible it was that Wentworth insulted Anne’s looks, because Mary had no idea they were once engaged:

“Captain Wentworth is not very gallant by you, Anne, though he was so attentive to me. Henrietta asked him what he thought of you, when they went away, and he said, ‘You were so altered he should not have known you again.’”

Mary had no feelings to make her respect her sister’s in a common way, but she was perfectly unsuspicious of being inflicting any peculiar wound.

This is such an interesting thing for Austen to point out. So much pain caused by other people is not done maliciously or even purposely. How do you even prevent doing something like that? I feel like in some ways, this is just a part of life. Which may be another reason why Austen’s novels are so realistic and poignant.