#It's been too long and it causes me such genuine bodily anguish just thinking about how many people I've lied to
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#How is it the end of pride month.#I haven't done anything I haven't celebrated I haven't been outside I haven't drawn anything special#I haven't really drawn anything#I wanted to do animated icon comms for artfight but that's not going to happen#I can't draw anything until I finish last year's commissions but I literally can't do it they don't look good#It's been too long and it causes me such genuine bodily anguish just thinking about how many people I've lied to#This is unprofessional but I've been so candid today for some reason#Ppl wanted to support me financially while I was struggling but I didn't even have the good sense to do their art like I was supposed to#Still struggling btw much much much poorer than ever can't afford food lucky I have a secret trick to help with that called not eating#Most commissioners didn't give me the money yet but the verbal agreement is still there in the æther#What is wrong with me today. I was trying to have a sober day but I think#I forgot how mean and weird and aggressive and overthinking and overwhelming my brain is :(#Anyway tho. I got admitted to a crisis center before I could finish those commissions.#And that was in December? I think I think I think it would be better for everyone to refund/cancel those? :( ?#I swear send me another message pretending it's a new commission and I will do it!! :)#My brain will think it is new and will be excited to start it :)#I'm so sorry everyone :(
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