#It perfectly loops too. you literally cannot tell where the gif starts and ends and I love that.

[sophiapathic]

Sk8: The Infinity - A Take on Love

Because my six unfinished assignments can wait until I throw this into the void, scream for five hours and after my voice gets hoarse, I resort to watching the beach episode on loop until next Saturday.

This was entirely sparked by the recap episode, which really pressed the reak havoc and theorize button in my brain. I am truly losing my grip on reality. Help. I apologize in advance, creatures of Tumblr. 

Me right now:

Anyways... 

I saw people mention here and there screaming that “we need canon relationships and they will get trust issues if a romance isn’t confirmed by the end of the series”. I think that mindset is harmful to have in this case. You can’t really avoid being disappointed if you get into the series expecting it to deliver on your wishes of gay romances. So, this might be controversial, but stay with me please. The anime and manga are both confirmed to be based primarily about the characters themselves and of course the sport -skating. I was hoping to take a closer look at what the series intends to do with certain dynamics and relationships according to yours truly. I also want explain my reasoning behind it not being queerbaiting, though it being inherently queer-coded, through the current lense of the canon.

Sk8: The Infinity is unquestionably a love story.

We need to state the genres this series is in, because some of us tend to forget. It is in fact not a shounen-ai, not a yaoi, not a romance, not even a josei. Say it with me it is a series in: COMEDY and SPORTS.

(Source is the official US Sk8 website.) The spotlight is udoubtedly on skating and what it means. Another important highlight of the show is how the definition of the sport relates to the characters, and how vastly different they are from what we expect. For example, when we see Shadow first, we pigeonhole him into this vulgar indecent rock and roll persona, only to find out later that he is actually a stweetheart at a flower shop. Joe is another very good case study. When we first see him we think of him as a womanizer muscle-head, later we find out he has a heart of gold and is very emotionally intelligent. We’re also quick to judge Miya as the cold, unfeeling prodigy then we discover how lonely and normal he is on the inside. And so on and so on. 

The show continues to defy our expectations of what each character should be like. In a way it is about breaking the conventional stereotypical roles we subconsciously assign to certain looks. We see that even in anime, multifaceted characters can exist without distrupting or damaging the delicate dynamics of a traditional sports anime. We successfully established the second focal point of the series as disproving stereotypes and presenting strong, diverse and unexpected personalities.

How about the defition of skating? What does it mean in the context of Sk8: The Infinity then? Where does a love story come into the picture? Skating is repeatedly described as a ritual of love within the anime, an idea that our villian, Ad*m, is obessed with. In a sense skating is a language of love canonically.

Then skating itself is love. Throughout the series we see varied styles of skating therefore different ways of expressing love, affection. We get to experience several metaphorical ways of “being in love” through characters skating with each other. Each dynamic shows us a type of love. Healthy, disfunctional, outright abusive. 

The way Reiki teaches Langa to skate can be interpreted as a direct metaphor for someone learning to love again after losing a person close to them. Langa’s father has died and Reiki literally brings him out of his shell again. It can also be interpreted as a queer kid’s experience of a world of romance that feels similar to his previous one, that being snowboarding, yet it still being new and different. Skateboarding. When due to Reiki Langa’s potential is discovered and his hunger for more and more develops, especially next to Ad*m, Reiki’s main frustration stems from them not being well-matched or on equal footing anymore. He feels like he cannot give Langa what he needs anymore. Which would obviously go againts the literal description of a healthy romance. Two people with mutual respect who both bring equal assets to the table. He feels like he needs to catch-up to be with Langa again. The only thing he doesn’t consider is Langa’s deep appreciation of him and the fact that literally he was the one who helped Langa experince the feeling of love again.

Kojiro and Kaoru’s relationships, to me, is very much representative of two people  wanting to be in each other’s presence, but due to their different language of love, miscommunicating horribly. Them bantering and insulting each other is the only way they know what to do with the other. The only way they can ensure the other’s attention and eyes are on them. This has worked so far. They are literal opposites, but both have a very clear definition of their form of love. To Joe skating, or love itself, is about the feeling and going with the flow. Being spontaneous. Whereas for Cherry, every move needs to be calculated and executed perfectly in order to be “efficient”. Their frustration comes from both wanting different things from the other, but not communicating their need properly. Despite this, they stick together due to a magnetic pull they obviously feel towards the other. The attraction is there, the trust is there, they are even well-matched in skill as we see them neck-to-neck constantly. They could give each other what the other wants. Only if they could express themselves well... This is why Joe pushes Reiki towards reconciling with Langa. he wants them to not fall into the same trap of not stating their  needs and thoughts properly.

Now Ad*m and Langa are obviously problematic and I don’t really want to have to explain, honestly guys. I really don’t  (since I have trauma regarding this subject), but I need to go into this a little bit. This is a textbook toxic predatory relationship. Where the older, twisted, damaged person, has an obsession with a young, outstading child. He wants to lead him into “Paradise” and show his “Eve” what love is really about. (Ain’t that disgusting you guys...) His form of love is inflicting pain, so I really can’t imagine a scenario where he and his “Eve” live happily ever after and everything is fine and dandy. He needs someone who he can torture. He literally is looking for someone who can handle his way of expressing affection, his “love hug”, who has the same type of crazy eyes for adrenaline and danger. His Eve. In his distorted mind, this all makes sense and Langa is that someone he was looking for thoughout the years. The problem is, he disregards Langa’s side where the relationship becomes problematic.

Cherry and Ad*m during their younger years seems to be a very innocent infatuation on Kaoru’s end. It is a one-sided relationship where someone is in love with the idea of a person long gone. They were discovering the world of skating, or the world of love together with Ad*m taking the lead. Cherry immediately became infatuated with him, wanted to learn his love language, wanted to be at the same level he was. It probably started very innocent. At first, Ad*m being gentle, because that’s how Tadashi was with him too, then after whatever happened between those two, Ad*m, disappointed in the way of love, or skating, Tadashi showed him, returned to what his aunts taught him. Maybe after injuring Kaoru with the “love hug”, therefore eliminating him from being his potential partner, started looking for his “Eve”, gradually became more agressive in love as in skating. Kaoru was distraught and wanted the Ad*m he originally learned love from back. Holding out some hope even years after. Trained to get used to his “love hug”, to literally condition himself to be able to get close to him. Ad*m, however showed Cherry brutally that he truly cannot handle his way of love.

Ad*m and Tadashi. *sighs* As of this post, I don’t really have enough information to give you a good overview of what I see this relationship representing. As far as I can tell Ad*m was abused horribly and to ease the pain and make him forget, Tadashi showed his another way of expressing affection. Skating or love. Basically a first love gone horrible bad, scarring an already abused child and turning them into a monster. Tadashi himself reinstates this during one of the episodes. It was his fault that Ad*m turned out the way he did. Their love slowly became strongly abusive throughout the years. Tadashi is stuck in it because he feels like he deserves it. This is a metaphor for  dangers of an emotionally and physically abusive relationship, where one person feels responsible and the other is using power. Tadashi’s guilt keeps him next to his master and he even endures abuse, now he is trying to break out and show Ad*m he messed up and I think this could potentially be a good representation of how difficult that process truly is. 

As far as Reiki’s, Miya’s, Shadow’s skating goes. Their main arc relating to love is first and foremost learning to accept themselves and aprecciating their uniqe way and style of skating. Only after can they become people who can truly be accomplished in love/skating (in Miya’s case I’m obviously talking about platonic feelings). Each of them had a preconception of their persona in love/skating, which gets questioned heavily throughout the series. Miya gets defeated, Shadow’s soft side gets discovered, Reiki... well. I get sad. :c Even though he taught someone to love again, to appreciate life again, he ended up discovering how dissatisfied he truly is with himself... These three all need to learn to love every aspect of themselves to reach fulfillment and to really experience healthy human relationships.

Sk8: The Infinity is unquestionably a love story, without explicitly being a romance, meaning that it is a tale about love, both romantic, platonic and everything inbetween through a queer-coded lens, showing both dysfunctional, abusive and healthy relationships, ways to express emotions and even delves into self-love and the idea of nature versus nurture in the villian’s case.

That is why I, personally don’t scream for a canon couple. To me, the show gets its main point about affection and love across, without making any of these relationships explicitly stated. Not to mention that it does justice to both of its assigned genres. Comedy and Sports as well. Yeah sure, I wouldn’t complain, but I think these dynamics are more than satisfying to watch, and much deeper than bishounens wanting to bang each other, which is, in my opinion, inherently sexualized. If they want, yeah they can confirm, make it canon without forcing it to be a center storyline. Hell, I would even be happy about it. I would clap with all of us. BUT, as the series currently is, I really see it taking the other route because of the above. This way audiences who want a yaoi or ikemen going at it, won’t be disappointed with the series when they find doesn’t revolve around that, straight viewers will just find it flamboyant, and people who look for subtext and want to read between the lines will certainly do that with the amount of crumbs and hints the writers gave us. 

We don’t need outright, written in black and white gay representation in Sk8 to experience very real types of love. The queer theme is secondary to me, just like queerness is, in most people’s lives. Yeah sure, it is a big thing, but not the only attribute a person has. My life doesn’t revolve around my queerness. I rarely talk about it. If I was a main character this would be a side-arc. Just like Sk8 doesn’t revolve around the characters coming out. It’s just them living their lives and possibly being queer while doing so. If you look at it this way, it is almost normalizing attraction between same-sex people by just showing it as regular love. If you can, why not interpret it this way, so it can be a liberating experience instead of a disappointing one.

Please don’t attack me! I am fragile and this is only my opinion. c:  *crawls back into her hole*

[lostysworld]

My dar(k)ling – The Darkling x reader

Part 2

Masterlist

Pairing: The Darkling x reader

Warning: none

Summary: You find new friends and try not to earn some enemies, but things become complicated, when you find someone in strong need of rescuing

After a dozen of attempts to find you a proper costume, Genya gave up and got you a black shirt, pants and a pair of boots, but insisted on another couple of shirts just in case.

In the end you decide not to take yourself as a prisoner and have a walk, giving that Kirigan left the castle a day ago and you cannot feel this pressure around you. That kind that made you stay in your room for three days in a row.

Your adventures start the moment you come out of your room and bump into a man in a red kefta. His black hair lays perfectly, and dreamy expression makes you think of the real reason for your collision.

– Oh, I'm sorry-

– It's fine. I should have looked my way.

Instantly, you recognize the grisha heartrender, who was in Kirigan's guard when he found you in the forest.

– Wait, I remember you, - the man smiles to you, when you wrinkle your nose in displeasure. – But I don't remember your name, sorry.

– Fedyor. Fedyor Kaminsky.

– Sure, - you extend your hand for him, and the heartrender shakes it slightly. – Could you show me around, if you are not in hurry?

You would not ask, if it was someone, but not Fedyor. His friendly expression, that always plays on his face, makes you feel safe or sort of.

The man nods and leads you down the corridor, when at the last turn you two almost bump into Kirigan.

Is he not supposed to be here, but with the army? Your disappointed face draws his attention, and he nods to his heartrender to leave you two. Fedyor smirks to you apologizing and goes away.

– Do you always need to spoil all the fun? - Kirigan arches a brow at your bold words, but only shows you a way outside following next to you.

– Always? Did I spoil your fun back in the forest?

You don't answer and roll your eyes not noticing his wide smirk while he's looking at you.

– So, what did you want from my heartrender?

You look more presentable now, than before, and the general's gaze every time slips to your side. He can't help but notice, how well black color suits you, as his eyes are roaming across your slim figure.

– I can't sit in my room all days long, - you follow him as you both go outside, where the man leads you to the training ground. – I need a distraction.

Kirigan nods you towards a group of grisha who are fighting with each other, looked after by a tall man, surely their trainer.

The sight of you wrinkling your nose makes him smirk. Everyone in the Palace are always tiptoeing around Kirigan. He hasn't seen a person, who behaved like that with him, for a long time.

– Not a fighter, actually. At least not in close combat.

– And what do you want to try then?

You look him closely. General seems sincerely interested in you and you can't understand why. But maybe you need to try to see the reason.

You lean your head to the side looking up to him.

– Archery.

– Archery? - he scans you with the critical glance and your brows arch at this, as you throw arms to the sides.

– What? Do I not look like an acher?

Kirigan chuckles amd shakes his head.

– You can do anything you want, Y/N. Tell Fedyor, he will find you something.

For a moment you are walking silently, and surprisingly this silence isn't uncomfortable, giving that some days ago you couldn't tolerate him next to yourself. But the next second you recall one thing.

– You told me I would meet the king, general. Though there was nothing of it mentioned for the last two days.

– Do you want to meet him? - his sly gaze switches on your face, and you instantly feel being too close to him, as you are almost the same height as he is.

– I don't think I have a choice, right?

His gentle smirk makes your heart beating faster, and you try to collect all your strength not to fall under his spell. You already saw several girl, gossiping about the man, and it even sounded pathetic.

– I asked the king to let you rest for a bit.

– Oh, what have I done for being asked a day off by the Black General himself?

Your sarcasm hits him not that much as does your addressing. The man stops and casts a grim glance at you. All of his previous friendly demeanor vanishes away.

– You have heard about me? - it is half question half statement, and you don't know what to do.

– I have indeed.

– And you are not afraid?

You arch a brow in a silent question.

– Of what?

– Of me.

You did hear about General Kirigan and all these rumors went much further amongst your people, of those still alive. Now you believe them, there is more in that men, then he shows to others. But despite whispers, you still have your own opinion to make.

Suddenly you notice like air around you becomes thicker and a bit darker. One-sided careless grin shows up on your lips, as you make a step closer to the man, leaving literally no space between you.

– I've spent my entire adult life living alone. Do you think, I am afraid of the darkness, General Kirigan?

Your shushed voice does give him a slight chill and he can't catch why. There is something behind your eyes, somewhere deeper, that doesn't let him tear his glance off you.

– Why? - his sudden question buffles you.

– What 'why'?

– Why living alone? Where's your family, Y/N?

Your once brave expression drops as you furrow and turn away from the man, continuing your walk.

– You don't want to tell about it? - he doesn't leave you, following behind. This time you get to bring your mischievous grin back on your face.

– You haven’t shared your secret yet, General, so I could share mine with you.

His smile doesn't last long, as someone behind you both calls him. On one brief moment he seems to roll his eyes in irritation, that makes you give up a short laugher.

– You will meet the king tomorrow. Now you'd better have a rest, Y/N.

You don't know what hits you exactly, but when the man turns around it's your turn to call him.

– Have a good day, General Kirigan, - he looks over you with a strange expression in his features and just nods, leaving you behind.

Not knowing what else can occupy you here, you walk away back to the palace.

Everyone seems so busy with whatever they have to do, that you simply feel yourself out of place. You don't know most of the people here, but already start recognizing some of the faces.

And when you catch Fedyor out of the crowd along with another heartrender, you flash him a bright smile.

Coming closer he loops his arm around your elbow dragging you with them, starting chatting immediately. Another man next to Fedyor is familiar to you too.

– I remember you, mister, - you point at him with your finger, leaning slightly forward to look at him. The man just gives you a displeased glance.

– It's Ivan, - Kaminsky looks at him with such love and adoration, that your heart clenches at the sight of them. – He can be a bit grumpy, but truly he's my better half.

Watching Ivan's face twitches slightly at these words gives you a faint smirk.

– Better? - you decide to cling to words as can hardly imagine this man being better than Fedyor, who is literally shining like a sun. – I would say just...other half.

Fedyor chuckles, but when you are about to turn to the wing, where your room is, Ivan immediately drugs you two back, out of the empty corridor.

– What's wrong? - you see nothing behind their broad backs, giving that you are tall enough. – Guys?

Ivan gives you a sign to shut up, and you finally hear someone's muffles voice. Two voices.

Slowly crawling from behind Fedyor you peer around the corner seeing the scene, that makes your blood slowly boiling.

Here in the opposite corner stands Genya and a man, that you believe, is the king, you should have met with, according to his attire. Not that he impresses you much.

Watching them you realize, that the king stands too close to the tailor and the girl definitely doesn't want to be there, but can't do anything to escape.

– Is that your king? - you look over your shoulder back on heartrenders, but lower your tone when Ivan shushes you. – Won't you do something with it?

– We can't. He's a king, Y/N.

You see sympathetic helpless glance of Fedyor, and just shrugs your shoulders, taking a step forward. Just at the same time, when Ivan drags you back.

– What the hell are you doing? - his abashed gaze is burning holes inside of your skull.

– Exactly what none of you here can.

You shake his arm off yours and move forward, coming out of the corner. No one of two people in front of you still doesn't notice your presence.

– Your Majesty! - the man flinches from your loud voice, and you seem to hear faint swearing of Ivan behind you. The frightened glance of Genya flies to you. – General Kirigan demands the presence of miss Safin in the map room...It's urgent.

You don't know, how this nonsense appears in your mind, but you try not to let the grin show on your lips. Something inside of you makes you feel proud.

The king hesitates for a moment, stunned by the fact, that he's caught in such situation. But you don't flinch wearing the same cold demeanor as before. Taking a step back, he nods and shows Genya the way out towards you.

– Of course.

If Genya can run in that moment, she surely will. The readhead girl walks the other half of the corridor to you as if it is an escape route from her death.

As soon as she reaches you, her expression falls only on a second, but when both of you turn around the corner and see Ivan and Fedyor, who tries not to smile to much.

Genya furrows, but when she opens her mouth to ask, what's going on, Ivan cuts her off addressing you.

– What you've done was foolish-

– Foolish?! - now you can't hold back your irritation. – Would you better watch the king putting his hands on what doesn't belong to him?

With that you go on with your way towards the entrance of the castle, dragging the tailor with you. Behind your back you can hear Fedyor's voice trying to calm his lover down.

But then Genya stops you, still too frightened and disoriented. You believe this isn't the first time, but no one can get used to such things no matter how often it happens.

– Y/N, wait. Where are we going?

– Out of here, I guess. Garden, training grounds, main hall, whenever.

A faint smile touches her lips, and the girl lays her hand on your forearm.

– You really shouldn't do this, he's the king-

– Then I don't want a king like this one!

Your voice echoes around the half empty hallway, and it does draw some unnecessary attention to you. But you don't give a damn now.

You don't know Genya much, but these several days with her show, that she surely deserves more than all of this. Confident, stubborn and brave. Genya Safin is definitely brave. This is all about her, and how can't you defend her after this?

But you know, that there in Little Palace, you have only one true king. General Kirigan.

And he's exactly the one, who is coming to your group at the moment.

You see Ivan and Fedyor straighten and Genya casts a look behind your back. It's not necessary for you to turn back to know about the man's presence. Even birds stop singing, when Kirigan is around.

– What's going on here? - this demanding strict voice shakes your a bit. Ivan throws a brief mocking glance to your side, and you only roll your eyes at him. You turn rapidly to the general.

From the only look at him, you can swear, that he already knows everything. God only knows how.

– Miss Y/N, - not getting any answer from others, Kirigan switches his glance to you. His silky voice makes you nervous, cause it means nothing good. He nods aside indicating to talk with you privately, but then comes back to his heartrenders. – I will talk with you two later.

You don't like his mood, in the end all of this was your idea and yours only.

– You won't, - general switches his attention on you. One way or another, your boldness will backfire.

– Excuse me?

– You won't talk with them, it's not their fault, - you keep eyeing the man in front of you. – It was my decision, and it's not for them to suffer for this.

Ivan and Fedyor don't even flinch, as Kirigan's gaze goes to them and then back to you. He waves them off, dismissing, and all three of grisha vanish from the hall.

He drags you out of the palace, gripping onto your forearm.

– What the hell where you thinking, when went against the king? - his hissing rings in your ears.

– You are speaking as I am a traitor, general. But I just did the thing no one of you wanted to deal with.

– He is the king, - you try to shake Kirigan's hand off you, but he's holding for dear life. Finally you just relax, not resisting the man. – And who are you here? Nothing.

– He is not my king, as you are not my general. But if I needed to do this again, I would and not once.

Kirigan does insult you with his words, and you should admit it isn't the nice thing to hear. This mixed feeling towards the general leads you astray, cause feeling displeasure, irritation, anger and that strange pull towards the man at the same time is something you can't handle now.

You move closer only for him to hear your words.

– You lead your army to the war, General. Talk about grisha safety at every corner, but hardly can defend those in the palace. Or just don't want to. Isn't it pathetic?

– Watch your language, Y/N-

– Watch your actions, Kirigan! I'm not a little girl, that you brought from the woods as a present like Genya. I'm not interested in court intrigues, - he looks at you with both anger and surprise. No one here allows to reprimand him like this. Yet you are standing in front of him. – I will not follow your stupid rules, where superiors are allowed everything they want to do.

His gaze, roaming across your features, halts on your eyes. His dark intense glare somehow betrays his own thoughts, as if he's partly agree with you.

– Unlike you, General, I have no limits to get what I want.

You go past him inside the hall, slightly brushing his shoulder with yours. A slight smirk touches his lips.

You can be bold and wild, wayward or stubborn. But you surely hold a spark inside of you, and this spark can't be shadowed with his powers nor with people around you.

Kirigan looks over his shoulder only to see, that you already dissapper in the crowd.