#It originally had 6 fingers and no thumbs as well because I am AI or something and I can't count

[goodlucktownsend]

Hands continue to be the bane of my existence

[freedom-of-writing]

You’re all I want, all I need

Chapter 1 - I’m ready now

Chapter 2 - The 13th clan

Chapter 3 - Soulmates

Chapter 4 - Your enemy is our enemy

Chapter 5 - Costia

Chapter 6 - The calm before a storm

Chapter 7: Hurts like hell

The entire army is gathered in front of Lexa's tent, where a small dais has been erected for the Commander to give her pre-battle speech on. Clarke is standing in the crowd next to her people as they all patiently wait for Lexa to make her entrance. Clarke is wearing her Wanheda’s armor, and she has two stripes of war paint that go from her nose to her hairline on each side of her face. She's also armed like a true grounder, with a sword and her knife tucked respectively on her back and on her left thigh. The only Skaikru weapon she’s carrying with her is a small gun slipped into her belt on her right side.

Clarke tries to remain calm as she waits for Lexa to come out of the tent. The truth is, she’s impatient to see the other woman, with whom she hasn’t had a single alone moment ever since they left Polis. Of course, they saw each other the night before during the war council, but she really wishes she could have a moment with her girlfriend before moving to battle. Especially considering that the council has decided that it would be best for them to fight on different parts of the battlefield, as their role of commanders makes them two sensible targets. That way Azgeda won't be able to take down both of them at once, or so they hope.

When the Commander finally exits her tent, and makes her way on the dais, the crowd bursts out into loud cheers. But everyone falls silent as soon as Lexa raises her hand asking for attention.

"Gona kom Kongeda, oso laik hir deyon shil Skaikru op, oso brana lukot, kom Azgeda. Geda chon jomp moun op, jomp oso op. Oso throu daun ogeda en oso kik thru ogeda." She pauses for a moment as her warriors start cheering again.

In the meantime, Clarke uses the break to translate Lexa’s words for her people. "Warriors of the Coalition, we are here today to protect the Sky People, our new friends, from the Ice Nation. A clan who attacks another, attacks us all. We fight together, and we survive together."

When the crowd grows quiet again, Lexa moves her gaze over her people, and stops to look briefly at Clarke. The two women exchange a quick nod before Lexa turns her head away to address the whole army again.

"Jus drein jus daun!" She shouts followed in chorus by all the warriors.

Blood must have blood! Clarke doesn't need to translate that: her people have come to know the meaning of those words all too well by now. Just like they know that that is their cue. It's time. There's no going back now, either you fight or you die.

As soon as Lexa comes down from the dais, Clarke rushes towards her. She comes to a stop right in front of her, but she hesitates to close the distance. They both stand still, looking at each other, not sure whether or not they can display any kind of affection in front of their people. Clarke takes a look around them to see if anyone’s watching, and then she decides she simply doesn’t give a damn. There’s no way she’s going into battle without properly saying goodbye to the woman she loves. So, she takes one last step to close the distance between them, and she brings Lexa in for a tight hug. It takes Lexa a mere second of hesitation before she returns the hug just as fiercely. When at last the part from their embrace, they exchange a small smile, and then they lean in for a kiss. It takes them all the self-control they have not to fall into a full make out session in front of everyone. But thankfully, they manage to keep the kiss as sober and quick as possible. When they finally part from air, they stay close with their foreheads pressed together.  

Clarke brings her hand up to caress Lexa's cheek softly as she starts speaking. "Hey, Heda, don't you dare die on me. Do you hear me? You need to promise me you're not gonna die out there. I can't live without you." As she looks straight into Lexa's eyes, she sees a flash of sadness appear in those beautiful green orbs.

"You know I can't promise that." She says as she runs her thumb on Clarke’s cheeks, mirroring her action. "Neither of us can. But what I can promise is that I'm going to do anything in my power to come back to you, ai hodness."

Those words manage to bring a smile to Clarke’s face. "I’ll do anything in my power to come back to you too.”

"Heda, taim don kom op." One of Lexa's generals says from behind them. It's time.

At the hearing of those words, Clarke and Lexa jump away from each other. A worried look crosses both of their faces. But if the man is upset in any way by the sight of the two of them holding each other like that, he doesn't let it show.

"Alright. Let's get this over with." Lexa nods before moving to follow her general.

"Wait!" Clarke quickly stops her in her tracks by grabbing her arm and turning her around so that they're facing each other again.

She doesn't exactly know what to say, because she refuses to believe this is goodbye and, at same time, she doesn't want to part from Lexa just yet. She looks down at their hands as she intertwines her fingers with her Lexa’s, because she can't afford to look weak in front of their people, not today. And she knows that, in the moment she’ll look into those big green eyes she loves so much, she won't be able to hold back her tears. When she feels Lexa giving her hand a small squeeze, she finally raises her head again, and what she sees there shocks her. Apparently, she isn't the only one trying not to cry, Lexa’s eyes are just as watery as she imagines her own to be. Clarke realizes this is the first time she's ever seen Lexa shed tears in public. They're surrounded by the fiercest warriors of the Coalition, yet here she is letting all her walls down, and letting herself be vulnerable for the woman she loves. Clarke knows how hard it is for Lexa to show weakness, and her heart melts at the thought of this woman loving her so much to let herself appear weak in public. Without other hesitation she throws herself at her girlfriend to hold her in a tight embrace again. Lexa returns the hug immediately this time.

"I love you." Clarke whispers brokenly in the girl's neck.

"I love you too." Lexa reciprocates before leaning back to place a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll see you when this is all over. Be safe." And with that she turns to catch up with her group of warriors.

"You too." Clarke murmurs to Lexa's back before turning to go join her people waiting for her.

_______________________________________________________________

After hours of fighting, it is clear that the Ice Nation army is a much harder enemy to defeat than they have originally expected. The amount of corpses Clarke has to avoid as she moves around the battlefield, and the strong smell of blood make her feel sick to the stomach. But she keeps striking her sword back and forth, because she can't afford to get distracted, and be killed in the process. She's just run her blade through another Azgeda warrior when she hears a cold voice coming from behind her.

"Well, well, if it isn't the mighty Wanheda."

"Nia." Clarke recognizes immediately the woman standing in front of her, even if she's never met the Ice Queen before.

"Looks like Lexa went to all the trouble to save you for nothing. She can't protect you this time, Sky girl. Your power will be mine, and finally I'll become the only leader worth of the Commander's throne!" With that Nia launches herself forward, drawing her sword at Clarke. But to her surprise, the blonde is quick enough to stop her blow with ease.

The sound of their blades colliding is all Clarke can hear for a long time, until a loud pained scream rises from her side. Clarke immediately turns her head to see if it was one of her people to get wounded, but her distraction gives Nia the time to kick her sword out of her hand, and to send her back first on the ground. The sudden attack catches Clarke off guard, and she doesn't have time to slow her fall and avoid hitting her head. She lies there all dizzy for moment, and Nia uses that time to proceed to another attack. Clarke lies still as she looks at Nia’s sword rising up in the air, and then coming down hard for her chest. For a second, she thinks it’s over, this is how she dies. But all of a sudden, she remembers something. It’s a move she’s seen Lexa teach the Nightbloods in one of their sparring sessions. She raises her left leg slightly so she can reach the knife tucked on her thigh, and right before the blade can run through her chest, she rolls on her side. Surprised by her quick move, Nia stares at her sword stuck on the forest floor, giving Clarke just enough time to roll back with her legs raised to kick the woman straight in the ribs, sending her to the ground. They both get back on their feet quickly, and Nia immediately raises her hand to lay a punch on Clarke's face, expecting the Sky girl to be unarmed just like she is. But Clarke surprises her once more, and right as she’s about to hit her, she feels something sharp penetrating her flesh. Her mouth fills with that taste of metal which is typical of blood, and she moves her eyes down to see Clarke pushing a knife into her chest. When Nia brings her eyes back up to look at Clarke, the blonde turns the knife slightly in her chest sending another shot of pain through her body which is almost enough to take her breath away.

The blonde stares at her for another moment before uttering in her lowest, and most menacing voice: "I am Wanheda, Commander of Death! I don't need Lexa to fight for me: non na throu daun gon ai!" No one fights for me. And with that she pulls the knife out of the Nia’s flesh, letting her drop down dead.

"This is for Costia." She whispers as the victory horns fill the battlefield with their sound.

_______________________________________________________________

After hours of fighting, it is clear that the Ice Nation army is a much harder enemy to defeat than they have originally expected. The amount of corpses Clarke has to avoid as she moves around the battlefield, and the strong smell of blood make her feel sick to the stomach. But she keeps striking her sword back and forth, because she can't afford to get distracted, and be killed in the process. She's just run her blade through another Azgeda warrior when she hears a cold voice coming from behind her.

"Well, well, if it isn't the mighty Wanheda."

"Nia." Clarke recognizes immediately the woman standing in front of her, even if she's never met the Ice Queen before.

"Looks like Lexa went to all the trouble to save you for nothing. She can't protect you this time, Sky girl. Your power will be mine, and finally I'll become the only leader worth of the Commander's throne!" With that Nia launches herself forward, drawing her sword at Clarke. But to her surprise, the blonde is quick enough to stop her blow with ease.

The sound of their blades colliding is all Clarke can hear for a long time, until a loud pained scream rises from her side. Clarke immediately turns her head to see if it was one of her people to get wounded, but her distraction gives Nia the time to kick her sword out of her hand, and to send her back first on the ground. The sudden attack catches Clarke off guard, and she doesn't have time to slow her fall and avoid hitting her head. She lies there all dizzy for moment, and Nia uses that time to proceed to another attack. Clarke lies still as she looks at Nia’s sword rising up in the air, and then coming down hard for her chest. For a

The moment Clarke enters the gates of Arkadia, she finds herself being pulled in a strong embrace by her mother.

"Clarke! Oh my God, are you okay?" Abby leans back so she can take a proper look at her daughter, searching for any visible injuries.

"Mom. I'm okay, I promise. I'm okay." Clarke doesn't need to ask her mom if she’s ok, because Abby was inside the walls of Arkadia with Jackson all the time. Their role was to tend to the injured warriors who were going to be brought in.

"Is Lexa here?" Clarke asks moving her gaze around, hoping to see her girlfriend walking among the crowd of warriors returning from battle.

"No, she still hasn’t come back.” Abby sees Clarke starting to panic, so she immediately adds: “The battle just ended... I'm sure she'll be here soon."

"Yeah..." Clarke doesn’t sound very convinced, but she does appreciate her mother's effort to calm her down.

"Clarke!" Someone shouts from behind them. Clarke turns quickly to see a familiar face.

"Octavia!" She exclaims as she runs to her friend, relieved to see her friend is safe and sound.

They have lost sight of each other at some point during the battle, and Clarke was honestly worried the girl might have been dead. "You're ok?" She asks, mirroring her mother's actions from before. "Wait, where's Lincoln? Is he..."

"No, he's fine. He'll be here soon." Octavia reassures her quickly, although something in her voice doesn't sound quite right. It's like there's something she's holding back. Something that’s definitely bad news.

Clarke doesn’t seem to notice it, though, as she replies with a sincere smile on her face. "Good. I'm glad you're both okay."

"Clarke, there's something I ne-" Octavia starts just to be interrupted by Clarke, who is suddenly reminded that she was looking for Lexa right before her friend showed up.

"Hey, you don't happen to have seen Lexa, do you? She has yet to come back from battle and..." Clarke trails off when she sees her friend turning her head away as if to avoid her gaze. She's definitely hiding something, and this time Clarke sees it.

"What is it? Have you seen her? Is she okay?!"

"Clarke..."

Maybe it's the sad tone in Octavia’s voice, or the way her friend’s eyes water as she looks back at her, or maybe it's just the fact that everyone is back from battle but her girlfriend. But suddenly, something clicks inside of Clarke, and she starts to panic again.

"What? You… you know where is she? Octavia?” When Octavia avoids her gaze once again, Clarke starts yelling. "Octavia, what happened?! Where the hell is she?! Where’s Lexa?!"

"I'm so sorry, Clarke..." Octavia says in a small voice before raising her eyes to look at Clarke slowly.

"What…?" Clarke whispers, terrified of what might come next.

"We did everything we could, Clarke. But... She'd lost too much blood. I'm so sorry." Octavia is now full-on crying as she looks at somewhere past Clarke's shoulder. The blonde follows her eyes until her gaze falls on Lincoln.

"No..." She shakes her head at the sight of him approaching them with a lifeless Lexa in his arms.

"Oh my God." She cries. This can't be happening. Please, let it be just her worst nightmare. There's no way Lexa's dead, she can't be dead. They were supposed to find each other once the battle was over and, and hug each other, and kiss and, and-

Clarke is hyperventilating by the time Lincoln reaches her. "I'm sorry, Clarke..." He interrupts her trail of thoughts as he comes to a stop in front of her.

"Lincoln. Put her down." Octavia says gently as she places a hand on her boyfriend's upper arm, encouraging him to do as she says.

She knows he has orders to bring the Commander's body to the medical center with the other dead warriors, as the ones who have survived prepare the pyre for a proper funeral ceremony. But she also knows that Clarke needs to say goodbye. And they have to let her hold Lexa one last time before they burn her body. Lincoln hesitates for a moment. As a warrior he’s supposed to follow his orders, but as Clarke’s friend he cannot deny her one last moment with the woman she loves. Finally, he gives up with a small nod of agreement, and he crouches down to place Lexa's body on the ground.

As soon as Lincoln gets back up, Clarke lets herself drop heavily on her knees, not even bothering the pain that shoots through her bones as she impacts with the ground. Nothing will ever come close to the pain she's feeling right now. It's like her heart has been shattered into a million pieces, and her lungs have been emptied of all of the air they used to hold inside. She's not even sure if her heart is still beating, it might as well have stopped in the moment she saw Lexa slumped lifelessly in Lincoln's arms. Now that she's kneeling beside her, she can make out two bullet holes on the Lexa’s abdomen. Her shirt is soaked in her own dark blood, and there's a trail of dried blood that goes from the side of Lexa's mouth to her chin. As Clarke takes it all in, tears start streaming down her cheeks. She holds a hand on her chest, trying vainly to alleviate the pain that fills heart, and that won’t let her breathe. Her other hand goes to her mouth when she lets out the first sob. She shakes her head fiercely as she cries over Lexa’s dead body. Her tears fall on Lexa’s chest as she leans forward to pull her lifeless figure onto her lap. Clarke embraces her girlfriend tightly as she sobs in her the crook of her neck, seeking for the warmth that she used to find there.

All Clarke can see is Lexa, and she can hear are her own broken sobs. She doesn't notice the small crowd of people that's gathered around them. She doesn't see Octavia and Lincoln crying in each other's arms at the sight of that heart-wrenching scene. She doesn't see Kane holding his arm securely around Abby's shoulders as her mother cries too, finally understanding the depth of Clarke's feelings for Lexa. She doesn't see her people’s shocked, surprised, and sad faces as they find out while she's sobbing desperately in her dead girlfriend's chest, that Clarke and Lexa were much more than just the Commander of the 13th clans and the Ambassador of the Sky People to one another. Clarke doesn't notice. But in that moment, everyone knows she and Lexa loved each other with all of their hearts, even if the cruel world they live in has tried to tear them apart time and time again.

Finally, they don’t have to hide their love anymore. But there is no more… 

Chapter 8 - Shouldn’t be a good in goodbye