#It looks like Asteroids but i'm not confident with that answer

[kaitowotd]

Kaito's Word of the Day: Lose

it's okay to lose, as long as you had a good time playing.

[shiny-holographic-star]

Sirene asteroid (1009) observations

Sagittarius Sirene people appeal to others when they're fulfilling their purpose or having a clear direction in their lives. For example, my cousin has this placement, and she's able to appeal to others when she's so sure about being a dancer, believing that she was made for that, following the direction set by her heart/intuition without questioning it.

I have this placement too, and I think people come to me a lot in search for answers, to understand themselves better since Sagittarius is all about expanding ourselves.

Sirene in the 5th house is about mesmerizing people when you're in the spotlight, being confident and letting yourself shine. Also when performing, so this is a good placement for celebrities. My cousin has this, and she grabs everyone's attention when dancing, plus her personality (5H) is very charismatic.

I also have Sirene in the 5th House, and I'm not so comfortable in the spotlight which to me comes from the Capricorn degree (10°, 22°). This brings delays and challenges when it comes to you expressing or getting used to this alluring energy. You have lessons to learn before you're able to own this energy.

A Leo degree shows that you're confident to use this energy, you were born to be seen and to shine under the spotlight! Guess who has this. Yes, my cousin 💃🏻⭐️ It's worth noting though, that she has insecurities and suffers from anxiety, but she still loves the spotlight and wants to shine.

Libra Sirene attracts people when they show a chill attitude, by wanting to make everyone feel comfortable or included, by using a soft voice and having a great sense of aesthetics. My dad, for example, uses a soft voice when he wants to be polite or liked by others, and shows a super chill attitude with my sister and I's friends. A couple of my girl friends simped for him 😷

My sister has this placement too and she's the type to try and include everyone in the conversation, plus she too softens her voice when being polite or wanting to be liked? She also has a great eye for fashion. And with her friends she appears more chill than how she really is (she's crazy, your honor - in a good way).

Jungkook from BTS has Libra Sirene and his singing voice is very soft compared to what I thought it would sound like at first.

He also has Sirene in the 9th House so he might drawn in more foreign fans than korean. This placement could indicate being alluring when you're open to learn from other cultures or expand your understanding of things. Think about ambiences like college, school, foreing countries.

Scorpio Siren could be appealing when they're intense, reserved, observant, alert. Also, when they're being toxic (controlling or uninterested) or give off that aura of bad boy. For example, one of my exes has this, and he pulled me in with little to no effort, he used to take his time replying to my messages and I waited for him, thinking about what he could be doing and wishing for his attention. 🤢

A high school friend has this placement too, and he had this air or mystery when he actually was doing nothing? He has Scorpio Sun conjunct Sirene, and he wasn't easy to get close to at first. It's like he gave off an air of "I'm on my own, don't bother me", and some girls pinned after him.

Virgo Sirene people are alluring when they keep a humble attitude, lending their attention to you and recognizing they can learn something from anyone. My grandma and two friends (a guy and a girl) sometimes would ask me for advice, to explain something to them or to give them my opinion about something, and as I reply they'd look at me with the utmost attention, not wanting to miss any detail. They look at you recognizing the value of your words and that's so wholesome, it makes you feel heard and appreciated.

Sirene in the 1st House might give a great first impression considering it's the house of beginnings. They might be the person people notice or get curious about first in a group, and nobody knows why; it's unconscious. They also might atract people when they take initiative, which movilizes or motivates others. They seem like they would do good in a leadership position, people would be drawn to listening to them (especially when they're in the energy of the sign their Sirene asteroid falls under).

For example, a Virgo Sirene in the 1st House person might drawn people in by taking iniciative and assuming the role of a leader in a humble way, paying attention to everyone's input and striving to reach their ideal.

[gt-jar]

14 please!

You are a narrative genius

I'm going to answer these two together because they kinda fall into the same category.

You see, I don't really have a plot in mind for either of these two. It's not about having a specific idea in mind, it's more about exploring, or rather mixing g/t with a different.... genre? (don't know if that's the right word for it, it probably isn't).

Ah! Why am I even trying to explain it, when I can just say it?!

14 is mer and 15 is alien.

You see what I mean?

Those used to be really popular, nowadays you don't see them as much. But it kinda feels like everyone has at least one of those AUs (again not the right term, but I can't think of something more fitting).

Like I said I don't have much, to be completely honest, I just put them on the list so I'd have all my "ideas" in one place.

For the mer story, I do have a few concepts I want to include (like g going on hunt for t, cause t is unable to catch a single fish), but that's about it, so I don't have much more to say for now.

For alien I have a bit more, like a teeny tiny bit. I have two different set-ups in mind. I could go with the classic "human is abducted and ends up on the alien black market", nothing unique but I still love it, it's a classic for a reason after all.

But here's the other scenario.

The end of earth is approaching (probably another asteroid impact), and the galactic federation (yes this one is from Lilo & Stitch) is discussing if they should intervene or let nature take its course.

1. They intervene:

Maybe there's a programm different alien species can sign up for that allows them to take in a human (or a whole family, couples, best friends, etc.) until they figure out a permanently solution. There, obviously, aren't a whole lot of planets that fit the needs of a human and are uninhabited. Finding one might take a while.

2. They let nature take its course:

A troop of aliens travel to earth shortly after the catastrophe to look for useful resources or something. And one of them finds a human that is miraculously still alive (tho probably not in the best condition) and against their better judgement they take the human with them (curse their soft heart). Can anybody else know about this? Who knows, probably not.

Then there's the aspect of language barrier which I always find interesting and is fun to read (good ol' miscommunication), it also offers potential fearplay.

I don't think I would be confident enough to write that though.

But... a scene where the human finally does get a translator (via surgery because I'm evil) would be awesome.

Think about the fear when they are put under, thinking now the alien finally shows their true colors and does experiments on them, but then the relief and the pure joy when the human wakes up and they can finally understand/talk to each other.

Aaaaand that's all I have :)

With that I posted all the story ideas for the numbers you sent me (but I still have a bunch of other asks), but I still have more.

I was thinking about posting the entire list, that way you could ask about the ideas that interest you, but I don't know yet.

Let me know what you think!

[pubbamoon]

Hi bestie , a bit of a silly ask but is it ok if my Mars is in Pisces wail the guy that i like, his Lust 4386 and Eros 433 is in Pisces -would that make us be a good mach in bed? ( also is that called a conjunct or another name lol i am really bad with astrology terms sorry)? i really like him but FUCK i am SHY !!! i am a Aries Sun and He is an Aqua Sun + Venus and he is so friendly and confident but i am so SHY!!!!! He is a cancer moon ( my lilith is in cancer ) and My taurus moon feels so AMAZING AND PROTECTED BY HIM like never ever before have i felt this way towards anyone BUT again i am so SHY!!! He has this Capricorn Mars presents that makes my knees week - so before i do anything i want to know your thouths becouse i have 8 house Venus + Moon and you know that makes me aproche love super slow becouse i am afraid of getting used but i dont want to be afraid forever . So i guess i come here for a spicy confidense boost lol .Becouse i know that lilith in a mans chart is about what he is attracted to BUT afraid to admit( atlest that what i saw in a blog post) well .... his lilith is in aries and my sun is aries so i dont undestand - would that make him like me but be afraid to admit it? ( he is richer then me so i worry that i am too poor for him ) anwyway thank you for the help and i am sorry for the strange ask

Synastry Chart Tutorial... I guess!?

Hi bestie! Sorry for the late response, it took me some hours to process your questions. I'm ready now to give you an answer and to explain to you how I read the natal chart.

So, before I get into a topic, I wanna clarify something. To see something about someone's partner, the first thing I look up to is the 7th house of partnerships and the Venus placements. Venus is a planet of love and relationships and it represents what we are attracted to, while the 7th house talks about our partner and the life of our partner. I can use the placements of your 1st house ruler and your 7th house ruler to determine the compatibility with your partner. Mars, on the other hand, represents war, aggression, destruction and violence, so its placement is not really great to determine your partner. Mars is a malefic planet and is exalted in Capricorn which is a very dark sign that represents the darkest days in the northern hemisphere.

For example, you have Mars in Pisces and I don't think this would be that guy you like, because Mars represents where you have danger and conflict in your life. I can sense that you might be in conflict with the Pisces natives or Pisces-related themes (spirituality and foreign lands) might be harmful for you. Having your natal Mars and his natal Lust (4386) and Eros (433) may indeed indicate experiencing a passionate sex with him. Mind you I don't usually use asteroids, although I mention them in my astrology observations pretty often.

I was reading your message and while mentioning your placements, you somehow forgot to tell something about your Rising sign. By saying that you have Taurus Moon in the 8th house, I can acknowledge that you might be a Libra Rising, because in the whole sign system, Libra Rising means having the 8th house in Taurus. If you have Libra Rising, then his Aquarius Sun and Venus will be placed in your natal 5th house of romance, dating and short-term relationships. It makes sense why you are attracted to him, but I see this relationship as platonic which may not last very long, but you can still try. Your natal Aries Sun forms a sextile aspect with his natal Aquarius Sun, which represents understanding and support between each other, since sextile is a harmonious aspect. Your natal Taurus Moon also forms a sextile aspect with his natal Cancer Moon, which makes sense why you feel protected by him. Same with your natal Pisces Mars and his natal Capricorn Mars, a sextile aspect once again. But, the conjunction aspects between your Cancer Lilith and his Cancer Moon and your Aries Sun and his Aries Lilith might indicate shady and manipulative relationships and it seems kinda scary to me. Maybe this is the reason why you are scared to approach him. Be a little bit careful, because Lilith is a very dark asteroid, although it can be very powerful too.

Your placement of Venus in the 8th house makes sense why he is richer than you. This placement usually indicates attracting and having a rich and powerful partner. 8th house represents death, inheritance and where someone's loss is your gain, so you can inherit money after your partner's death.

Honestly, I'll just start right here, because the answer is too long and too deep. If you want me to deepen further into this topic, you can book a Synastry Chart Reading with me on my Beacons site. The link of my site is in my bio of this Tumblr account. It would be my pleasure to work with you and with this case. I hope it's understandable.

Best regards,

Paky McGee

[esotericfaery]

Intimate Spiritual Diaries, 16 - Celibacy Indicators in Astrology

From my natal chart, here's what I've found so far. I hope it's helpful for you to understand your romantic relationships or those of people you know, if any of you have the same, or similar aspects. Or, just enjoy a bit of a tea spill. I've mostly included only the conjunctions which are exact to the degree, so this isn't too long. This allows for more precision than when we only look at planets and angles. Subsequent diary entries will be on various subjects, covering all aspects, etc.

The names with numbers in brackets are asteroids and hypothetical points, and you can find yours by entering your birthdate, with those numbers separated each by a comma in the extended chart section of astro.com, plus entering the names of the fixed stars the same way. You can find your Arabic Lots at astro-seek.com, by mousing over the free horoscopes section, and choosing various Astrology calculations at the bottom of the menu.

~

1st House, Aries: Core identity and the physical body.

[h22] Priapus - 3° 14' 39" conjunct Arabic Lots, all at 3° 10': Anareta I (Taker of Life) Children, Male II Killing Planet (Anareta) I Luck Violence I Murder

Priapus is the release point of Lilith's pent-up energy. Lilith's rebellion from the patriarchy is taken personally there through the Arabic Lots involved. Men had the perception that I was repressing them in some way, because I wouldn't participate in some of the sexual acts they desired with me.

This energy had caused much discord when I was dating, through the areas of some of the above Arabic Lots. It's due to protective energies elsewhere in my chart (too many to list here; those are for a subsequent article), that I haven't experienced the violent ones (Anareta is a medieval Astrology term which indicates doom and destruction). I did experience some initial luck in harmonious romances, yet "Children, Male II" shows those same men I had attracted, eventually behave like children, and so the relationship ends.

Aries placements can be particularly difficult for women, because Aries and planetary ruler Mars both represent warlike, often abrasive energy. It's easy for men to misunderstand women who are confident leaders as overbearing.

So this is the first indication in my chart that backs up my Virgo placements in showing that I'm ideal for the celibate lifestyle. (Virgo is the sign representing virginity).

~

1st House, Aries: Core identity and the physical body.

[34] Circe - 5° 21' 10" conjunct Arabic Lots: Captivity II for Night Birth - 5° 34' Marriage, Time of - 5° 34'

Solitary existence of enchantment due to not wanting to be in the public eye. Magic misused in my former relationships when I ignored red flags. Now I own my moral boundaries. The search for alternative answers on my personal journey led me to celibacy. If there was a time in my life for marriage again, I would feel like a captive, so I won't marry again.

~

1st House, Aries: Core identity and the physical body.

[136199] Eris - 14° 55' 28" conjunct [1943] Anteros - 14° 45' 40"

Finding the liberation of the answer to loves longing through organizing oneself out of the sense of being forsaken, leading to soulful companionship, through intervention by higher powers, via the scales of justice, through winning battles. In my situation, this companionship is through relationships which are not romantic. I was liberated when I won the battle I was fighting with myself. I fought this battle because I thought that I was meant to have a romance. When I realized that I wasn't, that was just.

~

2nd House, Taurus: Material reality, resourcefulness, marketable talents, grounded security.

[330836] Orius - 25° 32' 1" conjunct FS Algol - 25° 53' conjunct Arabic Lots: Self-Undoing - 25°27’ Labor - 25°40’ Marriage of Women I - 25°40’

Critical °

At a critical degree for Taurus, this is an especially intense stellium. Algol (among other things which don't apply here) protects against witchcraft and Orius represents the possessive, dictatorial behaviours men have thrown at me and / or projected that I was throwing at them when I would defend myself against them. Emotional abuse is a form of toxic witchcraft. I allowed it to undo who I am, and it was laborious, many years ago when I was a married woman.

~

2nd House, Taurus: Material reality, values, resourcefulness, marketable talents, grounded security.

[6] Hebe - 26° 0' 5" conjunct Arabic Lots: Marriage (modern) - 26°32’ Partners - 26° 32’

I was involved in toxic co-dependency, enabling exes to emotionally abuse me, because I didn't value myself. Hebe also represents a service which is abused, and that is the role of a "subhuman" that people like me who experienced emotional abuse take on.

~

3rd House, Gemini - Thoughts & communications, early education, local community, short-term travel.

[211] Isolda - 22° 51' 23" conjunct Uranus - 22° 13' 56"

The shock of infidelity and the innovation of recovery.

~

4th House, Cancer: Nurturing, intense & changeable emotions deep in the psyche, generational curses and other patterns.

[120] Lachesis - 4° 4' 56" conjunct [3267] Glo - 4° 17' 57" conjunct Arabic lots, all at 04°49’: Passion; Emotion & Affection Disappointment II Endings

Lachesis is one of the Greek Fates. She rules over destined lifespan. The lifespans of my romances were destined to go through the meanings of the Arabic Lots above, in order. Asteroid Glo allows me to recover from what I once saw as loss, by holding a lighter vibration as a proudly celibate person. At a critical degree in Cancer, this aspect is one of the stronger.

~

4th House, Cancer: Nurturing, intense & changeable emotions deep in the psyche, generational curses and other patterns.

Fixed Star Sirius - 13° 48' conjunct [1224] Fantasia - 13° 23' 7" conjunct [875] Nymph - 13° 36' 20" conjunct [2365] Interkosmos - 13° 44' 39"

Attracting unwanted attention, leading to "dog bites" by those who seek power. Easily fooled and manipulated. Subjected to accusations, whether just or unjust. Fae, chameleon-like, daydreamy & whimsical. Independent, childlike & playful, with rose-coloured-glasses. Need to ground, and bridge two worlds, leading to honour, faithfulness & wealth. I honoured myself and became faithful to myself when I decided to be celibate and followed through. That makes me wealthy.

~

4th House, Cancer: Nurturing, intense & changeable emotions deep in the psyche, generational curses and other patterns.

Fixed Star Canopus - 14° 42' conjunct [1042] Amazone - 14° 51' 45"

Educational journeys within widely comprehensive knowledge, leading to conservatism and piety as regards martial beliefs and / or behaviours in about men, which can lead to fame or infamy. Leads to the ability to change evil into good.

~

5th House, Cancer: Nurturing, intense & changeable emotions deep in the psyche, dating and young-at-heart creativity.

[1866] Sisyphus - 20° 44' 46" conjunct [151] Abundantia - 20° 30' 48"

An abundance of situations where I tried to force something that doesn't work to feel right, and end up having to go back to the beginning and restart my search for a romantic partner.

~

5th House, Cancer: Nurturing, intense & changeable emotions deep in the psyche, dating and young-at-heart creativity.

[7066] Nessus - 23° 6' 13" conjunct [66] Maja - 23° 21' 30" sextile Moon - 23° 43' 40"

Easy harmony and nurturing, grounded growth in healing issues of sexual or emotional abuse and understanding the emotional mirroring involved. Includes in altercations about money and ending relationships. Respect of boundaries. Generous compassion.

~

5th House, Cancer: Nurturing, intense & changeable emotions deep in the psyche, dating and young-at-heart creativity.

[1930] Lucifer - 25° 10' 57" conjunct [1387] Kama - 25° 40' 27" conjunct [902] Probitas - 25° 42' 15" conjunct Fixed Star Procyon - 25° 30'

Trigger warning…

*

*

*

*

*

An honest, appropriate response to a prideful and egotistical man pushing unwanted lust at me, resulting in malevolent intentions and the desire for violence towards me.

There are several occasions in which I have sensed violence that particular men wanted to commit against me, without them having given me any overt indication of it. As I energy heal and protect, I was able to block this energy.

~

5th House, Cancer: Nurturing, intense & changeable emotions deep in the psyche, dating and young-at-heart creativity.

[61] Danae - 26° 3' 2" conjunct [87] Sylvia - 26° 54' 30" conjunct Arabic Lot: Eros - 26°03’

Judgementalism leading to fateful vindication. Safety and freedom in relation to situations involving eros, forced purity, virginity, and guilt.

~

5th House, Leo: Confident and dramatic flare, dating and young-at-heart creativity.

[10370] Hylonome - 0° 12' 36" conjunct [3561] Devine - 0° 59' 23" conjunct [627] Charis - 0° 32' 22"

A charismatic, cosmic, magical connection with another which feels like it has a higher purpose, and grief at the loss of a mate through adversity. From self destruction to strong sense of self with or without romance.

~

5th House, Leo: Confident and dramatic flare, dating and young-at-heart creativity.

[25290] Vibhuti - 2° 15' 21" conjunct Venus - 2° 21' 32"

Empowerment in what's valuable, in the areas of love relationships, in concentration on something outside the self.

This empowers my Venus, along with it's sextiles (aspect of harmony with very little effort) with Saturn (limitations & responsibilities), Mercury (communications), Vertex (fate), & Descendant (what type of person you want a long term relationship with).

This sense of my own empowerment and harmonic ease was in a pattern of men feeling intimidated by me, through nothing I was doing.

~

7th House, Libra: One-on-one relationships, conflicts.

[9] Metis - 6° 12' 56" conjunct [85] Io - 6° 25' 57" conjunct [19] Fortuna - 6° 47' 44" conjunct [672] Astarte - 6° 52' 42" conjunct Arabic Lot: Needs & Desires, Realization of - 06° 08’

Luck & fate of creative emotional evolution, and prudent, insightful cunning within protectiveness & fierce or sexual femininity, leading to realization of ones needs and desires.

~

7th House, Libra: One-on-one relationships, conflicts.

[96] Aegle - 7° 22' 41" conjunct [36] Atlante - 7° 46' 7"

Critical °

From abandonment to empowerment, good fortune & nobility of natural beauty, intellect, amiability & talent.

~

7th House, Libra: One-on-one relationships, conflicts.

[17942] White Rabbit - 13° 24' 9" conjunct Fixed Star Algorab - 13° 10' conjunct Arabic Lots, both at 13° 01’: Enmity II Enemies, Private

Being chased after, as regards feelings of enmity. Delay, restraint, & loss through handling matters wrong. The power to turn weariness into protection from malice.

~

7th House, Libra: One-on-one relationships, conflicts.

[30] Urania - 14° 55' 20" conjunct [88] Thisbe - 15° 20' 12" conjunct [275] Sapienta - 15° 44' 24"

Refined skills of discernment within Astrology and psychism, particularly in the area of tragic or forbidden romance. As I'm doing right now :).

~

7th House, Libra: One-on-one relationships, conflicts.

[157] Dejanira - 16° 27' 15" conjunct [2063] Bacchus - 16° 24' 4" conjunct Arabic Lots, all at - 16° 27’: Weddings Ritual Ceremonies Legality, Legalizing

Taking the victim complex pattern which had become overindulgent, into the "underworld" within, to resurrect proper self-leadership.

~

7th House, Libra: One-on-one relationships, conflicts.

[1388] Aphrodite - 16° 49' 16" conjunct Mean Black Moon Lilith - 17° 34' 34" conjunct [h13] True / Oscillating Black Moon Lilith - 17° 24' conjunct [433] Eros - 17° 39' 5" conjunct [17] Thetis - 18° 4' 29" conjunct [2101] Adonis - 19° 57' 40" conjunct Pluto - 20° 21' 46" conjunct [157] Sirene - 20° 30' 2" conjunct [3811] Karma - 22° 36' 55"

This is about magnetic men being attracted to my beauty & shadow feminine energy, then misunderstanding me as someone who is energetically projecting it at them through transformational Pluto.

They convince themselves that I feel Eros for them, and that we have karmic destiny together.

Then they fear that I'm an energetic siren sent to lead sailers (them) to their deaths.

I felt weak in those situations

Their hidden flaw was their desire to control me. There are also strong divinatory abilities for me here, to promote a metamorphosis.

~

8th House, Scorpio: Fear & fearlessness, endings, shadow work, crime, taxes, sex, mysticism.

[4386] Lust - 26° 20' 5" conjunct [432971] Loving - 26° 54' 4"

Represents a person who experiences lust in a loving way; desiring love-making, not fucking. This is one reason for why I've never done casual entanglements.

~

8th House, Scorpio: Fear & fearlessness, endings, shadow work, crime, taxes, sex, mysticism.

[71] Klytia - 28° 3' 36" conjunct [256] Walpurga - 28° 17' 56"

Strong devotion & divination. Protection against chaos, desperation & resentment.

~

9th House, Sagittarius: Continuing education on the journey for the meaning of life, teaching and publishing.

Galactic Center - 26° 34' 47" conjunct [38] Leda - 26° 59' 20" conjunct Arabic Lots: Genius - 26°57’ Imprisonment - 26°57’

Abundant, delightful connection with divine consciousness. Luck in trauma release within situations of feeling or being imprisoned, to make way for new path.

I'd felt stuck / imprisoned in some past romances, thinking that I owed my partner karma.

~

10th House, Capricorn: Discipline, lifetime achievements, structures of authority.

[4341] Poseidon - 3° 22' 31" conjunct Arabic Lots: Insincerity - 03°15’ Revelation - 03°15’

Psychic sensitivity revealing insincerity, within the areas of persuasion, ideology, clarity, receptivity, and enlightenment.

I grew to recognize red flags and also to listen to my gut, so that I would more easily understand when a man was being insincere about desiring an emotional connection with me. Knowing that men only wanted my body allowed me to waste a lot less time in my later years of when I was dating.

~

10th House, Capricorn: Discipline, lifetime achievements, structures of authority.

[4197] Morpheus - 13° 2' 4" conjunct [89] Julia - 13° 7' 35" conjunct [1221] Amor - 13° 23' 50"

Pure, idealistic, unconditional, faithful love that can turn self-sacrificing due to limiting belief systems. I was able to change the form of my actions through abstract exploration and divine intervention.

My belief system had been limited, when I believed that men were able to be trustworthy in a romance with me. I sacrificed my energy because I thought that I had to love unconditionally.

~

11th House, Capricorn: Discipline, ambition, innovation, eccentricity, social situations.

[88611] Teharonhiawako - 27° 45' 25" Conjunct Arabic Lots, both at 27° 14’: Sudden Luck Bequest

Legacy of sudden luck in removing the negative, prayers of cellular healing, innovative inspiration, mediation. Must be careful to not trust the untrustworthy, or be otherwise naive.

~

11th House, Aquarius: Public organizations, the masses, humanitarianism, international awareness, political situations & protests.

[52] Europa - 2° 35' 12" conjunct Arabic Lots: Security - 01° 58’ Treasure - 01° 58’ Divorce I - 02° 21’

Desires and magnetism of earthly triumphs and wealth, and ability to create and cultivate abundance through communing, passionate, attractive and commanding nature, in the perceived treasure (object) men have perceived me to be, after my divorce, leading to my emotional security.

~

11th House, Aquarius: Public organizations, the masses, humanitarianism, international awareness, political situations & protests.

[37117] Narcissus - 11° 44' 15" conjunct Arabic Lots: Condition of Males - 11°44’ Controversy - 11°44’ Discord; Controversy - 11°44’ Discord; Lawsuits - 11°44’ Lawsuits, Discord & Controversy - 11° 44’ Waste & Extravagance - 11° 44’ Love & Marriage II - 11° 47’ Marriage & Love II - 11° 47’ Praise & Acceptance - 11° 47’ Sentiment - 11° 47’

At a critical degree for Aquarius, this is my most important stellium in this house. It speaks to mens vanity of themselves, which led to their narcissistic-style abuse of me, though I neither pretend to know, nor desire to understand their psychosis'.

The two lots involved in lawsuits refer to Karmic Law.

~

11th House, Aquarius: Public organizations, the masses, humanitarianism, international awareness, political situations & protests.

[22] Calliope / Kalliope - 14° 51' 21" conjunct Arabic Lots, both at 14° 23’: Trickery & Deception of Men & Women Venus (Love)

The muse of epic poetry and eloquence helps me write this article on trickery and deception.

[everythingthemoontouches]

💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙

Hola!

Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕

You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.

For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.

For jupiter in the first there's KRS.

🌻As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.

😬If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..

😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :

spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.

���With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.

In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?

���Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)

Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.

I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.

In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?

Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.

With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.

All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.

Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?

Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?

Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.

There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.

With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .

Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.

The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.

With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.

Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.

Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..

🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..

Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.

Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?

Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.

Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.

Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.

Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.

So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.

Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.

Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.

Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?

This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.

Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements

Toodles

Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊

Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.

[saturniandevil]

hi! what kind of astrology do you practice? natal astrology? electional astrology? horary? mundane astrology? modern or traditional astrology? sidereal or tropical? what house system do you use? are you studying different types of astrology? if you do, do you try to combine the practices or separate them for ex: "i follow a different set of rules for each practice" or "i'm going to use some esoteric theory in natal astrology"?

wow that's a lot of questions! i think some of these answers are pretty apparent from my recent posts so i'll talk a bit about my philosophy of astrology here too ;)

i think anyone who studies astrology runs into natal first so i really can't help pulling up birth charts when i'm curious, although during the last year or so i think we've all gotten a crash course in mundane astrology. i think to be proficient in the former you need to know people and psychology well, and for the latter you need a strong understanding of the different factors involved in current events, so for that reason i'd say i'm more a student or enthusiast than practitioner.

i don't cast electional charts myself (since i don't actually have any software like solarfire 🤪) but i do pay attention to them when other astrologers bring them up. if you're doing astrological magic or something that's very important, though. as for horary readings i've done a couple but i'd need to look into it more before i speak on them with confidence. not gonna lie i'm kind of suspicious of some medieval techniques since they come from a point where the western tradition was really fragmented and all the europeans were like mistranslating the arabic texts... i think horary is the most spontaneous kind of divination you can do with astrology so i'd be tempted to combine it with tarot or something else chance-based.

i'm currently reading astrology and the authentic self by demetra george, which is basically a guidebook where she walks readers through her own synthesis of traditional and modern techniques. i'm very into hellenistic techniques specifically right now (i use traditional planetary rulerships, whole sign houses, sect, weighing sign over degree with aspects, etc), but i do consider outer planets' positions (but not as sign rulers or dispositors of other planets) and, well, demetra might be winning me over on the major asteroids--if there's a really tight orb.

i always use the tropical zodiac as i believe the intersection of the ecliptic with earth's equator is conceptually fundamental to western astrology. i get that it has a place in indian astrology, a practice which has both overlaps and significant conceptual and technical differences from both current and centruies-old western traditions.

so as for traditional or modern techniques i'd say i lean more "traditional" because almost every rule comes back to observable astronomical phenomena. for example, the 8th and 4th houses are associated with death because a planet in the 8th is setting on the western horizon--entering the underworld, and the 4th house is just about as deep below the ground as you can get. i wrote a post on the thema mundi awhile back, but the gist of it is that the traditional rulership scheme lines up with how far each planet is from the sun. and of course older techniques tend to emphasize outer events (although there is some place for the native’s feelings and aspirations), which in some ways i prefer over a very 70s attitude where any distress you feel from difficult placements just means you haven't "evolved" them yet. in other words i think that some things will feel crappy to you no matter how enlightened you are, but you don't bring all your problems on yourself, you can prepare for them in the future, and you can get an idea of when they will pass.

i don't think it's impossible to combine astrology with, say, jungian psychoanalysis, but i do think you have to have a strong understanding of each practice independently before you combine them. i am actually quite interested in analytic psychology as well so you may see me synthesize them one day. but it won't be as simple as "the 7th house is always your shadow and the moon is your mother wound." i think any approach emphasizing someone's subjective inner world has to be completely tailored to the client and where they're at, so it's hard to generalize.

well i hope this answered your questions! i'm always happy to talk about my developing conceptual framework for astrology and i can explain some of the more basic or intermediate techniques with some confidence if you have any other questions~

[chibiranmaruchan]

Fruit ask from @kemplet I don't know why it didn't come up in my ask box, but I'm still going to answer anyway.

Lemon: Do you have any pets? What are their names?

I have a male Presweiler (Rottweiler and Presa Canario mix) named Benny.

Passion fruit: How would you describe your style?

I guess by style, it's how I present myself. To be honest, I wear t-shirts and leggings most of the time, for one it's comfy and simplistic, and secondly, I can't afford to have a 'style' beyond that. I don't ever wear make up, I've had numerous people beg to put it on me and one person did manage to put it on. I prefer a natural look, so I never learned to apply it and I have no idea what some stuff is for. My hair naturally is in a Jerry curl style, but I usually keep it tied up. Sometimes I'll leave it down and I think I look great like that, I feel way more confident and think I look better that way personally.

Kiwi: What's something that fascinates you?

Space, I've always been intrigued by it since young. Everything, planets, stars, moons, asteroids, comets, nebula clouds you name it. I'm particularly interested in star gazing and I hope one day I can go to the royal observatory in Greenwich to go into the planetarium and to one day star gaze in a big, isolated field.

Papaya: What song describes your aesthetic?

If I had to choose a song that best describes my aesthetic, I'd say twilight by Yuiko Tsubokura (Japanese version: https://youtu.be/eNSMO5Jfw_Q) and Annabelle Clifton (English version: https://youtu.be/ioAyMOS9m-M) from the 4th OVA 'revenge road' of bubblegum crisis. The song feels like it's set in the city (which makes sense since bubblegum crisis is set in a city and I relate as a suburban city dweller), it feels quite vast and bright, as many cities are presented. However, it's like a façade, because of the content of the song being about a negative version of love; one that's either one sided or one that isn't working, because rejection, loneliness, weakness and hurt is talked about in the song and therefore the city feels empty and cripplingly lonely, a reflection of how it feels inside. I feel this relates back to my feelings, I don't feel connected to the city, even though I live in one, it's too claustrophobic and conforming here. I feel isolated, despite many people living here and the promises of a great life, with a good job and prospect is just a farce, there is no certainty. Even the idea that this city is just an illusion, "Alone in the twilight, always wandering on these empty streets. The rain has stopped falling now, the pavement glitters at me." Being alone, in the darkest part of the day with rain pouring over creates such a depressing atmosphere.

Cranberry: Favourite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk or night?

Ooh this is a more difficult one, if I had to choose my most favourite time of day, I'd say morning purely for the dawn/sunrise. Sometimes if my sleeping pattern is fine, I can get up about 5am to watch the sunrise at 6am. It's a very personal experience, I feel really good, like my whole day will be nice. The air is cold, but not too cold, so it's refreshing and the sky's colours are really nice, I like how it's blue, purple and pink. It's also more empty in the streets and in the town since everyone is either still sleeping or in school or at work, so it feels good to not be caught in a crowd.

[rhnuzlocke]

Episode 15

Scene 6:

[Ren is lying on her back in the grass with Tāraki laying next to her and the rest of her pokemon scattered around nearby. Kai and Wally are off somewhere else at the moment and Ren seems to be enjoying her nap. Her nav buzzes and she grasps for it blindly and brings it up to her eye. The screen informs her that Steven is video calling her. She snaps upright, staring at the screen, heart suddenly pounding.]

Ren: [muttering quietly to herself] It’s probably no big deal. He’s probably calling you because of Magma stuff. If he was in imminent danger he wouldn’t bother with video. Just breathe.

[Ren takes a deep breath, pushes her hair behind her ear and answers the call.]

Steven: Hi Ren.

[Steven appears to be sitting in the grass leaning against a stone wall. He looks far more disheveled than usual and there are dark circles under his eyes.]

Ren: [concerned] Hey Steven. Is everything okay?

Steven: Hmm. How to answer that? Yes and no, I suppose. [seeing her look of panic] Nothing life-threatening! No Magma or Groudon or asteroids involved. I just wanted to talk to you about something and I can’t talk to Rire, so…

Ren: No, go ahead, what’s up?

Steven: [rambling] Well, we had a League meeting this morning. I stayed up the night before working on the agenda because of—you know—and I admit I looked like crap because I forgot my concealer and I was tired, but that can’t be the reason. It doesn’t make sense. They obviously planned this ahead of time. This was not a spur of the moment thing.

Ren: Steven, back up a minute. You’re not making sense.

Steven: Oh. Sorry. [clears throat] So, we went through the whole agenda and I was about to call the meeting but then it turned into like… an intervention… for me.

Ren: [confused] What?

Steven: They all said that I was taking too much on myself and had to delegate. And they wanted me to get more sleep and keep them updated and coordinate stuff with them. Not just regular League things, the Magma stuff too. They obviously talked it all out beforehand. All of them! I didn’t think they knew about… I don’t know. But who started it? I would say it Wallace, but…  

Ren: You know, maybe ambushing you like that was a little much, but all of that stuff sounds good. It’s nice that they care about you and want to be more proactive.

Steven: You don’t understand. It’s like a conspiracy. Everyone is in on it! Wallace talked to Bes and now they have the rest of my pokemon in on it too. I’m supposed to take the rest of the day off. Damascus won’t fly me anywhere and Anthy insists on keeping house now and is trying to learn how to cook. I have Ptilometra in there making sure she doesn’t burn the place down. Alwyn and Komatsu are planting a garden—Oh, Alwyn likes her gift very much and wanted me to tell your sandslash thank you. I think she may be working on something to send back? I’m not sure. Anyway, she roped my excadrill into into helping her plant all of those seeds.

Ren: That’s good. I’m sure Kōtai will be happy.

Steven: But you see what I mean, right?

Ren: That does sound like a lot, but maybe it’s for the best?

Steven: I know. What’s really been driving me crazy is how this all started. Wattson was sort of the ringleader, but I don’t think it was his idea. I’ve hardly seen him at all lately and he’s such a workaholic himself. He’s usually the one that tells Wallace to get off my case. It doesn’t add up. But I know it wasn’t Wallace because I grilled him already. Wattson called him. But who called Wattson? You know them a little right? Got any idea who it might have been?

Ren: [Her face twitches because by this point she actually does have a pretty good idea.] Um, no. I can’t say that I do.

Steven: Dammit.

Ren: Steven, I think you should take a deep breath and try to relax a little. Otherwise all of this effort is for nothing. And I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually. Maybe you’re overthinking this. And I do know how you feel. I hate being forced to do things, even stuff I like doing. But you do need to take better care of yourself, like we talked about. And the more people working on the Magma thing the better. They are all League members, right? They are not going to blab and they can all handle themselves if something happens.

Steven: [sighing] You’re right. I know you’re right. And I know I’m being a baby about this. Today has just been very surreal. Thank you for listening. It helps a lot. I feel a little calmer now.

Ren: That’s good. That’s really good.

[He rests his head back against the stone wall and while he is looking away, Ren smiles fondly at him. She rests her head on her free hand and her eyes go soft and her expression dreamy. There is stomping on his end and Ren snaps out of her reverie. He looks over at the source of the noise.]

Steven: Yeah, I’m okay now… No, Bes, I’m not working, I’m just talking to Ren.

[A huge metal leg edges into the corner of the screen and pushes gently up against Steven. He leans away.]

Steven: Whatever. You are still on thin ice. I know perfectly well this is all your fault somehow.

[Ren chuckles as Bessemer continues to nudge Steven both physically and mentally until he gives in and leans against his pokemon. Steven readjusts himself so that more of Bessemer is in the frame.]

Steven: Sorry about that. Bes says hello.

Ren: Hi Bessemer.

[She can hear them rumble. Steven leans back against them, looking almost peaceful when something occurs to him and he starts.]

Steven: It was you.

Ren: What?

Steven: Bes talked to you and you must have told Senri, he’s your father. So it was Senri who called Wattson and all of this was really your doing.

Ren: [guilty] All I said was I was worried!

Steven: [loud and theatrical] Here I was, confiding in you, and you were at the root of my problems all along!

Ren: [defensive] That’s hardly fair. And I didn’t plan any of this, I swear.

Steven: I know. It’s just funny. I just—

[He starts laughing and covers his face with his free hand. Ren laughs a little too. Steven stops himself abruptly and tries to look stern, but he is still smiling underneath.]

Steven: No. This is serious. [a stray chuckle] How dare you. [stifled snort] I'm—I’m disappointed. Don't you trust me?

Ren: [trying not to laugh] With most things…

Steven: Well I hope you're happy because now, thanks to you, the Hoenn League Champion has a strictly enforced bedtime.

[Ren loses it and starts laughing really hard, almost dropping her nav. Steven laughs too but tries to fight it.]

Steven: This is my life, Ren! It’s not funny!

[Ren just laughs harder. She falls over and drops her nav so that all Steven can see is the sky. Ren can still hear him laughing on the other end before he quiets a little, distracted by something.]

Steven: [still laughing intermittently] No, Bes! I'm not going to say that! You can tell her yourself when you see her. No! Get off me!

[Ren rolls over onto her stomach and grabs her nav to see what is happening. The camera on the other end is going a bit haywire as Steven flails around, but it seems as though Bes has him on the ground. From the strangled giggles it also seems likely that they are tickling him.]

Steven: No please! [snort] Ahh! [giggles] Stop! [wheezy laugh] Okay! Alright!

[Steven pops back up and swats the hair out of his face, aiming the camera at himself again. He takes a moment to catch his breath, then sighs.]

Steven: Bes says thank you.

Ren: [stifling giggles] Is that all?

Steven: And a lot more besides that they will tell you [directed at Bessemer through gritted teeth] when they see you.

Ren: [chuckling] Okay. You're welcome, Bessemer.

[Bessemer rumbles happily. Steven shoves them away and sits back against the wall.]

Steven: You know, I would never have pegged Senri as the instigator.

Ren: Well, he may not be the best dad, but he is still a dad.

Steven: At least the mystery is solved.

Ren: I wish I could say I was sorry for accidentally siccing the League on you, but I’m kinda not.

Steven: Well, at least you’re honest. I forgive you.

Ren: That's very generous of you.

Steven: It is.

Ren: [chuckling] Yeah, just go ahead and pat yourself on the back.

Steven: Will do. [He lets out a long sigh and readjusts himself against the wall.] So, we already talked about me. What have you been up to lately?

Ren: Pretty much training non-stop. I got my sixth badge.

Steven: Very good.

Ren: Oh, and my taillow decided to stay and train with Winona. Do you, uh, know her very well? I asked otōsan about her already, but he's not always great about… personality. He pretty much just talked about what kind of trainer she is, which was helpful but… I mean, I'm not too worried. She promised to let Māia stay a taillow and keep the stones you gave her and everything. I just, yeah, I can't help it.

Steven: No, I get that. Hmm, where to start with Winona? Is it safe to assume you know about the whole amnesia thing?

Ren: Yeah.

Steven: Well, I think that is a big part of the reason she doesn’t always give the best first impression. As I understand it, she spent a lot of time after the accident trying to be the person she was before and please all of these people who, for all intents and purposes, she didn’t actually know. So, at some point, she abandoned her old self and became someone new. I think the whole thing made her very uninterested in what anyone thinks of her. And losing all of one’s formative memories definitely shows, though it’s a little hard to pinpoint how exactly. It’s made her a singularly present person. She can’t dwell on the past and it makes her throw everything into whatever she is doing at the moment. She’s incredibly focused and tenacious, just maybe not the best people person.

Ren: She actually sounds like a good fit for Māia. Thank you, Steven. That helps a lot.

Steven: Happy to be of service.

[He smiles and yawns. He slumps against the wall and blinks slowly.]

Ren: Maybe you should take a nap.

Steven: I haven’t napped since college.

Ren: Well, you’re already falling asleep. I’m just saying maybe it should be on a couch or a bed.

Steven: I am not.

Ren: At least lie down in the grass. I know you love rocks, but that wall can’t be comfortable.

Steven: Alright.

[He edges away from the wall and out into the full sun. He lies down on his side in the grass and turns his nav so that he is still upright in the frame. Ren rolls onto her side and follows suit.]

Ren: Better, no?

Steven: [sleepy] Hmm.

[They smile at each other for a moment and his eyelids drift shut. Her face fills with warmth as she watches him fall asleep. It isn’t long before Kai and Wally can be heard returning, but it doesn’t really register until]

Kai: We’re back!

[Ren starts and looks up to see them approaching.]

Ren: Bye Bessemer, if you’re still there!

[There is a rumble on the other end.]

Ren: [quiet] Goodbye Steven.

[She snaps her nav shut just as Kai and Wally reach her.]

Wally: Who were you talking to?

Ren: Uh… my parents?

Kai: Ren, you’re red as a slugma.

[She rolls over onto her face and whines.]

Wally: [bouncing up and down, hands hovering near his mouth] Was it Steven?! Oh my goodness! What was he calling about? What did you talk about? What did he say?!

[Kai can’t help but smile a little at Wally’s excitement. Ren tries to melt into the turf.]

[abbhorase]

The Pale Horror

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Ms. Hohlstein

Creative Writing

6 November 2017

You never think about this kind of stuff. Not the hundreds of thousands of bodies lined up in the cargo hold, not the families waiting to see them, nor the morticians, greedily rubbing their hands at the sheer volume of demand soon to follow. What Abby never thought about, sleeping soundly in a cryopod with the rest of the crew of the Aramanthe, was the possibility that something was never right in space. Perhaps it was a rogue asteroid that had found its way into the hull and through a score of war casualties. Perhaps it was the ship's automatic response system, SKyLaR, waking them up barely six years after they had left drydock at Konštrukta M-14-A/112, the station in low orbit around planet F-2-A5-R.

She felt too lucid to be home. Too...sound of mind. It was yet to feel like her dreams had eaten themselves more than thrice, as was common with the Safe Stasis models onboard. With an annoyed groan, Abby sat up, swung her legs wide, and stood to see the white, sterile walls of the Stasis room.

Who was she? She wondered to herself; wakeup had a habit of clouding memory for the hour after it occurred. I am Carmin Abigail; Abby for short.

Why was she standing naked in a white room surrounded by people more than likely wondering the same thing? She again asked herself. The answers were simple: She was a technician for a cargo ship taking bodies recovered from the Camin insurgence on F-2-A5-R, and she was naked because the continued exposure to the sensation of clothing often led people in stasis to wake up thinking they were a shirt and their shirt, them.

She looked left, she looked right. Stella and Claus, respectively.

"Stella? Stella?" she asked the woman to her left. There she sat, clutching her head in her hands in an expression of pain.

"Stella… I'm… I'm Stella." she managed out in response before wrenching clear fluid onto the grated metal floor.

"Oh my god!" Abby exclaimed, running over and clutching her dear friend. Was she dear? How long had she - it didn't matter; something was wrong and Abby was the only person who seemed to care. Still with an arm around Stella, Abby took off jogging towards the nearest door. She needed to get blood flowing so she could remember where the infirmary was, and that was the fastest way. A crop of white robes, hanging from hooks nearest one exit, that was where she ran first; one for her, one for Stella, before running off down a gunmetal hall. The hiss of pressure regulators, the echo of feet slapping on the ground, noises so familiar as she ran she let her mind wander.

Stella was...26. Abby thought to herself. She was coming back to herself. To her right, still in her arm, Stella looked on the brink of tears as she slipped on her Robe. Abby followed suit shortly after. Why was she crying? Abby wondered to herself; now wasn't the time to ask, as she had in the days before their mission began and knew the answer was in some crevice of her mind. The way to the infirmary snapped itself into her thoughts; left, right, straight, right, left, first door.

"It's gonna be alright, okay?" she said, helping Stella to sit down on the examination table.

"Okay...Okaaaay…" Stella wheezed out, passing out and falling to her side on the table.

"Condition." inquired the onboard computer SKyLaR, possessing the spider-like machine that hovered over the table.

"Unknown," Abby responded, arranging Stella onto the table so that everything was on the table. "Perform exploratory testing procedures please."

"Understood." the machine responded, whirring to life above Stella's face.

A thin line and a wavering frequency of sound burst from one of its spidery legs, sweeping over Stella's body. It was looking for deformities, sicknesses, something wrong, but after a minute, stops.

"No abnormalities detected. Recommending DeepScan of Brain tissue." the A.I. reported. Abby knew the process; the same kind that would detect cancer in the brain and mental instabilities, but only with sufficient time. 6 hours, to be precise, given that this was one of the earlier models to employ such technology.

"Acknowledged," Abby responded. They were still a lifetime from Home; everyone could wait.

"Initiating scan." the machine confirmed. "You are dismissed for the process."

"Dismissed?" Abby asked.

"You are required in the briefing room; medical assistance deemed secondary directive for Crewman: Abigail."

Nodding, confused as she might be, Abby took slow, turning steps for the door before a hasty march to the room not far to her right.

There everyone was, sitting in rolling chairs while Claus, their acting leader at the time, stood in front with a dry-erase marker and a large wall-mounted whiteboard. Abby took a seat nearest the back, a seat separating her from two of her more 'immature' colleagues.

"What we have here," started Claus, "Is a ruptured bulkhead in the cargo deck. Somewhere in the region of E-7 to F-8 and the blocks they encompass. So, we are - yes, Tracy" Tracy, one of their technical workers, raised her hand almost like a schoolgirl.

"Yes, sir. Do we have any idea what triggered the alarms?" she asked, standing.

"At this moment we are fairly confident it to be an asteroid that penetrated the outer hold and dented the inner casemate, causing distortion to the inner structure of the cargo hold."

"And our plan of repair?"

"Yes, yes." Claus continued. He motioned for her to sit down whilst turning back to the whiteboard. "The plan at this moment is, given the wide area necessary to search, is for everyone present here to fan out in search of the rupture. By the way - where is Stella?"

"She's...in the infirmary," Abby spoke up, thinking of her laying half dead in that cold, white room. "She was experiencing unusual cryo-sickness and I thought it'd be a good idea to take her down there."

"Good to know. Okay!" he clicked the cap back onto the marker and looked out onto the crowd of five.

"We're down a member. That means double duty for someone-IVAN!" he called out. Ivan, sitting next to Adam and swapping dirty jokes, looked up sharply.

"What?" he looked like a lost dog.

"All who vote Ivan take Stella's route say aye."

A chorus of 'ayes' came out. With a betrayed, angry glare in his eyes, Ivan shook his head and, somehow, simultaneously glared at everyone in the room.

Claus, uncapping the marker, laid out the routes he wanted from everyone in the room, calling out again for Ivan who was, naturally, talking again with Adam. in less than 10 minutes, they were getting dressed in actual clothes, and within 20 they were out in the hold.

Caskets, quickly put together, lay stacked neatly on every shelf within sight with shelves extending almost farther than the eyes could see. most had nametags, some didn't. It was an older cargo train they took out to the cargo block, creaking and rattling with every grain-of-sand-sized piece of debris in the tracks.

Abby, sitting next to the Innocent Tracy, and Connor, couldn't help but feel self-conscious as she felt Ivan and Adam staring down the crack of her pants. She had to remember to sit in the back next time. She was almost lonely; besides her, the short-fused Connor sat with Tracy's hand in a loving grip. He barely moved, she leaned on his shoulder.

Abby could never stand it, the violent outbursts Connor was prone to in aggrivating situations. Yet their love for one another was clear; not once had he done Tracy harm as much as he had done to everything and everyone around him.

Behind her, Ivan cracked the can on what she presumed to be beer, snuck in from god knows what little hidey-hole he'd kept.

"Bus is leavin', folks," Claus stated, pulling the tram to a stop. With the clang of steel-tipped boots, the six of them piled out and onto wherever they were ordained to go.

Nothing. There was nothing. After close to half an hour circling her path, covering every piece of ground she could, all she saw were caskets, caskets, and more caskets. No dents, nothing particularly interesting, just-

"I think I found it!" came the radio on her belt. It was from Adam, the raunchy bastard who'd tried putting cameras in the vessel's showers an embarrassing number of times. "E-8, subsection F-130. 'Looks like the entire column exploded from the bottom up. There are bodies everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE."

"You heard the man. Connor, Tracy, E-8 F-130 with your tools." came Claus' voice from the radio.

"Over and out." in unison, Tracy and Connor responded, accompanied by the echoing sound of metal boots.

"Does that mean I get t- WHAT THE F-" Adam, far to her right, was screaming for help, sounding almost like he'd been set on fire.

Within a minute, everyone present had converged on Adam's location. Abby had out a pocket flashlight and was crouching to Adam, laying on the ground and gasping.

"Adam, Adam!" she shouted. His eyes darted about like he didn't know his own name. With her flashlight, Abby checked his eyes. They dilated, they followed, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"This doesn't change what need be done," Claus stated. "Abby, take him to the infirmary. Connor, Tracy, you still gotta fix… this." he motioned for the twisted, creaking cargo tower. "And Ivan-" he was standing there, a string of three beer cans hung by their pop tabs around his waist and another already in his hands. "Just….go back to the lobby. We'll talk later." With Adam in arms, Abby, Claus, and Ivan found themselves heading back to the tram, not yet out of earshot of Connor's rage.

"Oh yeah. Everything's fine. It's not like we're already DOWN TWO PEOPLE with a giant dent in this tin can!"

"Please, Conny. Calm down." Tracy, in a soothing voice, said.

"No! This is bullshit! Fuckin' Jackass fakes a fall and he gets to run off with half the team and WHERE ARE WE? ALONE, SURROUNDED BY DEAD PEOPLE." The group of four boarded the tram and got away as fast as possible. Behind them, the sound of rivet guns going off resounded.

"Stella!" Abby called in glee. There she sat, still wrapped in a wake-up robe and weakly waving to her. "What happened?"

"There was a bit of SNAFU with last preparations I guess," Stella answered. "The cromaStasis fluid they put in me was apparently contaminated with….Mercury, was it?"

"Affirmative," SKyLaR affirmed. "2.1 parts-per-million mercury contamination within intravenous Cryostasis preparation induced a form of seizure in the cerebellum, decreasing the already slowed rate at which oxygenated blood flowed through the body among other deformities."

"I'm lucky I woke up when I did." Stella continued. "Another 16 years of that and I….Probably wouldn't have woken up. Hey, what's up with Adam?"

"Oh, dipshit two faked a fall in cargo and Claus had me take him here," Abby Answered, shaking Adam playfully in her arms. He was still gasping, a listless look in his eyes."

"Listen." Stella started, standing up from the examination table and walking towards the pair, standing by the door as they were. "I've caused you a lot of trouble today and it's the least I can do."

"Are you sure?" Abby asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm feeling a lot better. Just go on to the lounge. You deserve it."

With a smooth motion, the two girls swapped Ivan off, Stella quickly carrying him to the examination table while Abby smiled back.

"Hey, Stella?" Abby called out.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're okay."

And with that, Abby was out the door and walking into the lounge.

Crew compartments weren't necessarily that small, but weren't designed for extended use; as in, it was believed that the crew would be in cryo for the majority of the time aboard. For all intents and purposes, there were two hallways for the main deck and a veritable maze for engine functions far back in the ship. The lounge the farthest from the Lobby where Abby heard Claus and Ivan mid-argument. Abby was quick in the door and onto the nearest pinball machine.

It was an hour later. She was onto a random shooting game. The lights were dimming, ever so slowly, to indicate as the relative time at, "home," to be about 10:30 PM.

A Scream. Stella's.

From the Infirmary.

A wet, ripping sound, not dissimilar to the sound of a knife through a booklet of wet paper.

Abby lept from the console and out the door, running down the hall and around a corner to come face to face with

An open door, clawed open, bent metal and streaks of blood abound. She raced inside, praying that Stella - SOMEONE was alive.

She wasn't. She was in the room, though; all over the walls and floor, a strange covering of hair and blood over the report screen on the examination table. Were it not for the bright red, flashing anomaly sign, she never would have moved it all away.

Adam's outline, displayed against the blue screen, something coiled, something wrong.

It was thin, but noticeable against the X-ray before flashing to what she presumed to be an MRI scan.

Abby nearly vomited, the sight of his chest melting on the screen to show not organs, but a long, tendril-covered form, a long and bony tail trailing from it's spurred body and terminating in a set of claws and long, jagged beak. Throughout Adam's body lay tendrils, spread like nerves through his arms, his legs, his mind,

His heart.

"SKYLAR!" she called out, adrenaline pulsing through her body with every heaving breath. "SKYLAAR!"

"Abby. Please remain calm." it started, the spider-like scanner peaked on the examination table to reveal it's single blue 'eye.' "Stella is gone and there is very little to be done."

"SKyLaR, please. What happened? What was inside Adam?"

"Scanner report: Unknown Parasite present within Crewman Adam. Kingdom: animal. Phylum: unknown. Class: unknown. Order: unknown. Family: unknown. Genus: unknown. Species: unknown. Diagnoses: Due to present procedures, it was judged that no action was necessary due to evidence that no physiological changes in the negative spectrum were detected. Conclusion: observe closely for as long as possible, gather biological data, perform an autopsy upon status: Deceased."

"So you left it in him!?" Abby screamed. "Are you kidding-"

The sound of screaming from the Lobby, but without the wet, tearing sound. Abby found herself bolting away, down the hall and around the corner in the hope against hope that Stella was alive, somewhere.

"IVAN!" She screamed, stumbling into the lounge to see Ivan huddled in the corner, a fire ax clutched in hand, beer spilled on the floor and still dripping from an unfinished can.

"What the hell was that?" Ivan asked. In a moment, Abby realized what was wrong with the picture.

"Ivan, Where's Clause?"

"Whatever that thing was, it got Claus," he replied, standing up, hefting the ax onto one shoulder mid step towards Abby.

"Well then where the hell did it go?"

"Crew quarters. Must be looking for more people."

"And why'd it leave you alone?"

"This thing," he replied pompously, hefting the ax back into two hands. "I did a nasty number on that thing. It's weak now; I bet if we can catch it, we can kill it."

With a shaky nod, Abby turned and walked for the hall to Crew Quarters, Ivan in hot pursuit.

"You got a key, right?" Ivan asked, padding the area around his thigh with a sheepish grin. Abby unclipped the magnetic card from her belt and, squatting in front of the door, slid it in. it was a process that took roughly 7 seconds for full affirmation, almost 7 seconds too late.

From behind Abby came the sound of bones breaking, of pain and of torment in it's purest form. She turned around to see Ivan, split across the stomach with his head and arms hanging limp behind. From within his popped chest cavity came a white form, pale like a corpse and bony like a starving child. Its jagged beak had ripped through the remainder of Ivan's chest, tearing tendrils from his chest with a grotesque sccchpop sound. In hunger, it stretched claws and tendrils to its next host, Abby, huddled against the door and unable to make a sound. It was silent but for the wet, organic sounds of it tearing itself away, the almost clinical silence of a hospital full of those with incurable diseases. Abby shuddered, closing her eyes to the nightmare in front of her; maybe it would dull the pain, not to know when it would strike

The door opened to a spray of rivets, her salvation, puncturing and staying within the thing before it broke itself into Ivan's broken body and leaped through the ceiling's grating, scurrying off to god knows where.

She turned around, the glow of fluorescent lights casting an angelic glow onto Claus' vindictive form, heavy rivet gun braced in both hands.

"Oh god, CLAUS!" Abby cried in glee, leaping up and pulling him into a thankful embrace.

"Oh god, Abby," Claus responded, returning the embrace. "What was that thing?"

"Hell if I know," she responded, pulling away and looking into his teary eyes with her own tearful eyes. "It killed Stella, it's killed Adam, and it took Ivan. that's three crew we're down."

"We need to regroup." was Claus' answer. "If we're all in one place, it'll have a hard time singling the rest of us out." he relayed the order through the ship's speakers for everyone to regroup in the lobby due to an uncontained biological hazard.

Tracy and Connor came running into the lobby, Tracy noticeably lagging behind, roughly ten minutes of tense waiting later.

"Where were you guys?" Abby asked harshly.

"I was in the bathroom. Sorry." Tracy answered, a slight blush on her face.

"And what, you didn't go in with her?" Abby screamed at Connor.

"Why the hell would I want to?!" Connor shouted back, matching Abby's anger.

"Because we're dealing with an unknown parasitic hazard and it's already killed three of this crew!" Claus shot in. "we need to stick together."

"What we NEED to do is find this thing and Burn it Alive!" Connor said. He was growing red in the face, neck pounding with produced veins.

During the chaos of the boys' continuing argument, Abby moved her way to Tracy, hiding behind her hair near the door.

"Hey." was Abby's opener.

"Hey," Tracy responded. "What happened? Have you been crying?"

"It….it got Stella," Abby responded at the thought of her dead friend. "She's just…. Gone."

"It's gonna be alright, okay?" Tracy offered, pulling Abby into an embrace. "We're gonna kill this thing and that'll be the end of it. Okay?"

"….Okay." Abby agreed, sniffling.

That was when Tracy started hacking.

A deep, wet cough mixed with the sound of choking, the sound of her inability to breathe and need to vomit at the same time.

Claus and Connor stopped their argument and turned around, Tracy doubled over and clutching her stomach as a slurry of impacted rivets, hair, and fabric strips came gushing out of her mouth.

There was a moment of silence as what just happened slowly set in.

Connor looked at Claus, then back to Tracy, then repeated the cycle as he said "Rivets, Huh? Bunch'a rivets in its chest?"

"Y-yeah." Claus answered backing away. Abby followed suit, skirting the edge of the room to hide behind Claus. There sat Tracy at the far end of the room, shaking, weeping

"Is that you, Tracy?" Claus asked, crouching and picking up a rivet from the pile.

"IS THAT YOU?!" he shoved the rivet in her face

"DON'T LIE TO ME YOU FUCKING-" he said, slapping her across the face. Claus, in unison with Abby, gasped, not just from the display of uncharacteristic violence, but the sight of Tracy's face splitting apart to reveal a slew of tendrils headed by a jagged beak. It wrapped itself around Connor's hand, the beak biting in and leaving a large chunk missing from his hand. That was when Connor started screaming, that was when Claus and Abby started running. Their directions were separate, but both went the way to the engine's maze. Trying to escape the echo of the screaming, trying to escape the sight of Tracy devouring her lover.

The screaming stopped.

Abby was alone, surrounded by brass pipes and industrial lighting.

"Claus?" she called out after a minute. She had no idea where he was, nor where she really was in this mess of access tunnels. "CLAUS?!"

"Abby!" came his echoing voice, ever so quietly.

"CLAUS!" She called back, walking towards the voice. In a matter of minutes, they had met in the maze of brass pipes.

But something was wrong.

That thing was still out there.

Claus had been alone.

Abby had trusted Tracy, just as she had trusted Ivan. she wasn't going to be fooled again.

"You….YOU MONSTER!"

"Abby! ABBY!" Claus called back. He was backing up at the sight of Abby taking a brass pipe from the wall, the scalding hot steam mattering not to her as she tore it from the wall.

"YOU KILLED STELLA!" Abby scream, swinging and missing Claus. He was backing up, all to aware of the dead end behind him

"YOU KILLED TRACY!" she swung again, this time hitting the side of his face. Claus was on the ground, clutching the side of his face where the pipe had struck and broken the majority of his left molars.

"YOU KILLED CLAUS!" Abby shouted in fury, savagely swinging down on Claus' stolen body. Every swing reduces his movement until, finally, he was not but a sobbing heap on the ground.

"JUST DIE DIE DIE!" she said in final, stabbing the hollow brass tube through the center of his chest in hopes of killing the parasite within.

But there was no scream.

There was no monster.

Claus was human, but Abby was the monster.

There sat Abby, sobbing, over her dear friend's corpse.

There collapsed Abby, passing out on top of his corpse.

"Preparatory serum injection successful." SKyLaR reported. Abby had awakened 10 minutes earlier to the sight of her greatest sin. Whatever it was, it didn't want her. It wanted to torture her. To tear her apart.

"SKyLaR, please prepare the examination table as a cryostasis chamber. I'm….I'm not gonna be able to sleep next to empty pods.

"Affirmative." Abby stood up and backed away from the table, watching metal casings slide out from the floor and meet with the table in a satisfying click. A triad of glass, asymmetrically aligned on the metal, would show her face to anyone who found her, and she hoped someone found her. She dropped her robe and lay in the cryopod, letting the great metal jaws close over her.

She was losing consciousness slowly. Above her, the old A.I. ran one last scan through the glass. She could see the screen from her position, oh so clearly.

The flashing red unknown entity detected warning flashed just as she fell to her deepest slumber.

Just a little thing I wrote for my Creative writing class.

it’s actually about 3 times longer than it should have been as per the rubric.

but whatever.

Sincerely,

Abborase