#Impulse control lost that's the main reason I drew this

[carbonatedjem]

i really gotta stop being shocked by voice actor trivia.

The bestie @aparticularbandit talked a bit about Mikan's Japanese VA on the latest Junkan post and also linked a very pleasant song and that made me wanna look up what other roles she had.

If it wasn't a Fairy Tail character I wouldn't be thinking that hard on it but it's two obsessions colliding and now I gotta figure out what to do with that knowledge for the rest of my life.

[secretcasanova]

hey, just recently found your blog and i gotta say your writing is nice!

tho idk if ur request box is open but if so, can i have a hc with chuuya, dazai, aku and atsushi with a yandere!s/o ? since its always been those yandere dazai this yandere chuuya that, yandere aku(?) there yadda yadda yadda

im looking forward for your future blogs!

(p.s i cant ask you anonymously for some reasons and im also new </3)

BSD Boys with an GN!S/O who is a Yandere

Characters: Atsushi Nakajima, Osamu Dazai, Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, Chuuya Nakahara

Word Count: 5398K

Warnings: Slight Spoilers about Dazai(Chuuya's Part), Manipulation, Gaslighting, Slight Descriptive Gore(?), Guilt Trip, Possessiveness, Physical Abuse, Stalking, Toxic Relationship technically, Slightly Suggestive(Aku's Part)

Author's Note: Hello there! glad to see that you enjoyed the fic that I made yesterday and of course my ask box is open! I was supposed to send it early but my dum dum forgor and ended up being on my drafts for a long while(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

Again, I apologize if some of them may be OOC, and I also tried to spice things up on the readers part by making them "act differently" towards to them- and all... If you know what I mean. Anyways I hope you enjoy this HC!

Atsushi Nakajima

You were an uninteresting individual, you rather not waste anything in the name of feelings and love. You were devoted to the Guild and nothing else till one day, the Weretiger came in which he hesitated to fight you at first but ended up engaging so, all due to your pierce nature? No that's not the point.

After the Guild was lost, Lucy took you in with her in the Cafe Uzumaki unknowingly that it's also part of the ADA, just as you think, fate has given you another chance to interact with this boy and you should not fuck things up.

All those blank expressions, all those dull eyes of yours, and your unexpressive gestures — all came crashing down, now tainted with vibrant colors and warmth thanks to him, now you felt more alive than ever as you decided that you need this light, all for yourself, and only for you.

You were much more outgoing and bright than your OLD self, you learned how to blend in within the crowds, you learned how to fake a smile - a little conversation of you and him made something sparked on his heart and eventually drew closer and close to you.

Atsushi is rather... Naïve. That's what makes it so easy for you to keep him around you- even stopping his impulsive moments? Oh, please! You can just boost his confidence whenever you can in any way possible. While he only fought you, never did anything and that's it, but to you he saved your whole uneventful life. You were willing to do so much more for him the moment he gets to be with you

You even fell faster for him than the lightning could even strike on the ground, his determination... You sure do love that sight of a moment!

To anyone else, you two were such a lovely couple and to you, as it should be. Atsushi was such a lovely doll for you.

Kyouka however, doesn't entirely likes you and your behavior towards to him. That excessive obsession- she even caught you once that Atsushi was at the verge of his limit, saying that 'maybe if you tried hard enough to not let one of the others lives slip again, this wouldn't happen my love.'

Dazai already knew this, him and Kyouka were the main obstacles, the main course the moment they got your intentions all figured out, while the rest of the others remained oblivious to this tense situation happening around you.

Which Kyouka attempted to convince Atsushi that you shouldn't be with YOU. Thats unacceptable right? Dazai wouldn't directly act on this situation not until it's getting too dire for Atsushi's own good. Which he is now doing so

Atsushi does think that your controlling nature is a little bit too much, which of course you tried to reason with him that you only wanted the best for him, but you did try to tone it down or otherwise you might accidentally break your own darling, to the point he's not longer expressive to anything else.

Oh! There was even a woman who has an intention to flirt with your man? Like a awkward wreck he was, he tried to say that he's already with someone else's while the other didn't bought that reasoning. Being a responsible and endearing lover you are to him you had stepped right into the scenario, with an underlying threats on your light hearted statement while wrapping your arms around his shoulder, now patting it. Though the wan had scurried away after and checked up on him if he was still uncomfortable and tense about it, which you decided to take him out by taking on a stroll or buy him something, just for him to enjoy the things and even cherish every moment that you do for him. (After work that is)

...?

The moment he arrived in the Agency, Kyouka wasn't there and so is Dazai, and the controversy was heard within the agency office with Kunikida talking about this problem with his other colleagues, as he came in asking what was going on, only to be greeted with a dreadful news about Kyouka going missing and Dazai has been now confined in their Agency's infirmary, has been ambushed by some professionals.

He didn't take this ever so lightly, the poor boy had a break down thinking he wasn't there to protect him, he wasn't there early to look after for his superior or even Kyouka as he remained silent throughout the entire day until both of your works are now done, you already knew the reason why he was so silent but you still shot a question, you two were left uninterrupted for now. No more obstacles to come and ruin your plans.

While the two of you were walking home altogether with your hand squeezing his, now rubbing his knuckles as a little sigh escaped from your lips, maybe doing these kinds of scenarios would be risky and even made him sad- it made your heart ache. But again, it was for the best of him.

"Do... you want to talk about it once we get back, love?" Your voice coo'ed, you were aware that he was so saddened by the news of this while he temporarily stayed silent for a brief second before nodding his head, with that weak energy, all he can do is to do that while couldn't be able to muster up a courage to speak as of now. "Don't worry, I'll make you a hot cocoa if that's what you want as well, stay with eachother and cuddle all night- I'm sure they're strong enough, so have some hope."

Those sweet little lies of yours, has an poisonous meaning underneath that one certain word of yours, all you wanted was for him to be happy for now, at least you don't have anything else to worry as of now. Hiring a professional gang to inflict harm on Dazai, then take Kyouka to somewhere else where or even give her back to the Port Mafia on a meantime, something that Kouyou would enjoy even if both factions had already made a deal regarding to her. And that lady that talked to Atsushi? absolutely unforgivable. To think that she can just walk away after HARASSING your precious light of your life? She was found six feet under somewhere else, but not in the cemetery because she does not deserve to have a goddamn coffin with both of her arms cutted off, just for the safety measure she wouldn't broke out or anything(not that she could anyway). You were nice enough to spare his superior and that little because he was attached to them right to the extent, but he doesn't have the same attachment to them as yours, you were clearly the first one to be prioritized before those two.

But you didn't want him to entirely break either, he was the sunshine to anyones life despite being scolded on and on, you even wished to put a duct tape on Kunikida's mouth regarding to the stories that Atsushi told you about, but all what matter is that you can have Atsushi by your side, all undisturbed by their commotion.

"Sounds good...! I just want to cuddle with you- for now at least..." That... Little smile on his face, you definitely knew that he was lucky to have someone like you, there was no other girls like you to be this caring as you are.

You are a moth, and he was the light. But you'd do anything even if it's taking too far, even if he could burn you on accident you will always love him unconditionally.

Osamu Dazai

Knowing what he is for- a flirtatious suicidal mummy who is a gravely whole nightmare to the enemies, but has a good beneficial to the allies. The last thing you'd want is to get caught by this cunning man, ever.

But that doesn't mean you aren't sly enough to step up your games, anything for your darling. There was a lot of times where you nearly got caught by him, but saved yourself by those vicious cover up lies.

To be more specific, the only reason why he was over the heels for you is that, YOU pretended to be the type of person who is hard to get, he took this bait of yours and thought of it as a challenge unknowingly, because you were unpredictable from that time- he wanted to know MORE about you as you kept on reeling him with your mysterious tendencies. And you are aware that this man isn't that vulnerable either so you took the other route for extra precautions, after all you only wanted him to be all yours, and nobody else's despite his damned nature.

There was definitely a time where he flirted with one of the clients just to make you jealous, needless to say your facade almost slipped, almost revealed your true nature- it's possessiveness. As much as you hate seeing him with the other girls or people even, you still had the will to hold yourself back. But do not worry, you had something else up on your sleeves. If he only sees you as a overprotective little one he will let this slip because he thinks that it's cute, yet once he knows your true nature, it's all over for you.

You don't want your beloved to go away, right? You don't want him to flirt with any girls other than yourself, right?

All you were ever known for was a hard to get type of person- a reliable one. But his suspicions were arising when the moment with those ladies who he usually flirts around in the cafe or the clients of the ADA(to get a reaction from you, but it ended worse.) had actively flat out ignored him right on the spot, and those waitresses in the cafe uzumaki?

Pure Silence. Dazai decided to take a peek on you- the same as the others? numb and actively ignoring him as well? or were you just pretending so you can necessarily avoid him finding out your schemes? He tried all of his best to get your attention in any way he could, because we all know how clingy and touched starved this man could get, but your reaction is just the same as the others.

He had a whole suspicion that it was you who did it, but when you two got back home(with the whole entire walk just a silent one which it internally kills him on the inside) you tugged on his coat before you came in, crushing right into his arms, silently sniffling.

"I'm sorry." You apologized to him for what circumstances? To his eyes, you were are a perplexed individual but this doesn't makes things clearer- but you were trembling on his arms while not being able to bring yourself look over to him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry- you we're put in danger because of me..."

(you are not sorry)

And this is the part where the guilt kicks in, for ever doubting you that you were the one who did it — he is not completely numb to emotions either when in fact he understands it, he didn't think twice to take you to your shared bedroom, stowing you down on the mattress while having you close to his chest.

This one, was your personal favorite part, where you few him with your perfect lies about an unknown person threatening every woman that Dazai interacted- not convinced? worry not, you had gathered a fake evidence that you have been receiving a death threats or even a piece of cutted fingers, with it's dried blood on the box that you only hid it somewhere because you claimed that you didn't want your beloved to see it or even worry for you.

And as for him? he rather felt GUILTY for doubting his loved one doing such a things like this while he murmured nothing but a sweet, little comfort words while trying to lighten things up

The two of you cuddled eachother close- embracing one another's embrace on this cold night, laying down on your shared bedroom while Dazai was stroking your hair through and through to soothe yourself from this ordeal

"My love, you have nothing else to worry about for now- you're in my arms now, it's alright." He said as he played with one of your hair strand, still kept one of his arms wrapped around your body as you did the same to him yet however... He couldn't get this suspicion off you, he already felt bad for assuming that it was you who done it, but does he have a proof to it? He doesn't... But the way you showed those evidences to him made him feel slightly off too. Again, he will never be sure whether it's actually you who done it. After all, it WAS you. Anonymously searching one of their contacts if they have ones if not you'd still send them an anonymous letter of a death threat if they ever try to interact with your Darling once more, Yosano and Ranpo definitely was looking out on your behavior and nearly got caught. If it wasn't for you bribing Ranpo away with some snacks seperatedly, then as for Yosano'e case you had to convince her that you were in the same line as the other clients and all. — then those dead corpses you threw on the river and kept one of their fingers to send it to the others?

You were aware, that you are trying to keep this former executive mafia all to yourself- who have condoned a lot of manipulation and all. You were ready to give everything what he wanted with a price of him only paying attention to you, only YOU. This would not happen if he only gives all of his attention to you and not waste it by flirting with those clients or other girls.

One can play a guilt trip for sure, a sly vixen you are.

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Out of all PM members, you chose to take a liking to this one ruthless 'Black Dog' of the pm, a victorian e—

That aside, you probably got transferred to the Port Mafia after your Boss and Mori had a deal to one another where you will be kept permanently by the PM, while they receive something else. It's not that you were interested because of how LOW they were paying some exceptionally skilled assassin like you. And, of course you cannot tolerate that at all so you weren't complaining about this whole thing.

Another assassin? In the Port Mafia? Gin wouldn't admit it nor she would ever will, but she's rather excited about you with how excellent your skills are, or that's what at least rumor she had heard about regarding to the underlings who was talking about you. You are quite the talk of the headquarters for now.

This doesn't amaze Akutagawa, not at all. It would take him a LOT because you are not the first one who's that good with their abilities, even if Chuuya took you as his subordinate and still trained you and your mobility. It's best to say that both of you started with a rocky path where you despises each others back. With those venomous insults(and if it wasn't for Chuuya who had to step in every time, you two might've had slitted eachother's throat by now) in all actual. Though this part of him was rather unintentional, maybe he sees his old self in you, covered up by some tough facade? It took both of you a good, ggooood while before you eventually had him wrapped around your finger.

The history repeats itself, where Akutagawa craves attention from Dazai- you are giving him the same treatment like from what his old superior does to him, you may never know him but all you know is that it's such a sore subject to talk about to him. He doesn't know what you did to him to make him feel this way and wanted to get more validation off you everytime — but of course you two don't show this side to anybody else, both of you are known as a ruthless couples and that was it. But(you may or may not intentionally become the typical duo of sadist and masochist) for Akutagawa he still kept on coming back to you after hitting him, sure he could've just fought you back with his sharp mouth but, maybe it's not himself that he gets reminded of, maybe he sees Dazai in you. But of course you wouldn't let your darling love you for not who you are, you had yet to drill into his senses that only you can love him for all eternity, and nobody else can do the same- even if you are harsh to him he cannot find somebody caring as you are.

Despite all of these harsh treatments that you gave to him, he still deserve all and every bit of your love, those little kisses and bites from you- well anything you'd do just to make him plea and on his knees. The two of you had your fair and share of the arguments but at the end, you always knew that he'd still come back home- come back home to you. He thought that it's unfair for you to pull that kind of treatment when he thought he's finally getting you, as you turn the tables around, it's him who'd be silently begging.

Gin isn't aware of this situation nor the other's, Hirotsu is somewhat suspicious and so is Kouyou.

Higuchi.

She cannot get the fact that the two of you are together now, yet still tried to pry sometimes because she definitely sees what you are doing to her Akutagawa-senpai. She want to speak about this to anyone else but ended up being silenced by you everytime, so to put this from the top, you are an enemies that always exchanges a death glare to one another. Some may tell Higuchi that she should just let go of Akutagawa because he's ALREADY with you. Of course she couldn't be able to tell the actual reason why you two kept on exchanging death glares, even if she's the misfit of the Port Mafia, you will still drove her away no matter how valuable she is to Mori's assets.

You had enough with her, sure even if you do such a thing to Akutagawa most of the times with those 'Dazai Treatment' you still give him those kisses and cuddles, those soft moments he deserved to earn from you and YOU ONLY. NOT. HER. NOT. H I G U C H I. Not anybody else. A little set up frame wouldn't hurt him, of course based on his actions towards to Higuchi you definitely think that it was a right choice, he shouldn't care about her other than you, you are his love, someone he should look up to.

On the following day where the two of you headed to the Headquarters, Gin immediately informed you two that Higuchi has been temporarily suspended due to the accusations that is actually true, that she has been making some shady deals to some other organisation but all thanks to you, the deal has been revoked- Mori decided not to punish Higuchi with those severe brutal methods for now, and for some reasons.

You had a short talk with Gin for a short bit, you wouldn't want his little sister to suspect anything about you two, do you? She even said that maybe you were the one who can thaw his frozen lakes on his heart or even have him to learn and love such a things, and she was even grateful that you did get to be with him after going a few trial that Gin attempted to put you through of course.

After Gin had went away, Akutagawa stood silent before you while only staring at you, who was bidding your goodbye at her as you eventually caught his gaze - the two of you agreed to not display a affections on the public because the two of you had some reputation. Only few of the others know that you are officially together, though Akutagawa was bothered by... Something, there is something unsettling about you for a odd reasons and why he's all acting this way towards to y—

"Yoohoo? You've been staring at me for a long time now. Is there something on my face?" You spoke with a low- soft voice since it was just the two of you in the lounge at the moment, as he abruptly looked away and scoffed.

"Always been so casual when it comes to these kind." Or so he commented while beginning to walk away, with you catching up to his side while chuckling. "That's you, not me. Who wouldn't worry about Higuchi disappearing? I know she doesn't like me but can't you at least show some concern?"

Oh, you already know the answer while feeding him with such a innocent questions, feigning it while it is full of irony and hate, it wasn't hard for you to ask someone who can make a mask that is identical to Higuchi plus it's voice changer, have someone take photos of the imposter and send it to you afterwards after paying them- and your favorite stage play is when you, reporting this to Mori regarding to her behavior which he didn't have to bought it at first because of the loyalty she had, till you showed those photos to him and had it reconsidered.

Nonetheless, Akutagawa only gave you a temporary silence again before speaking; "Why should I? I could finally have some less nuisance to deal with."

He's right, both of you had a less nuisance to deal with. While you take care all of the others who dares to oppose you and your love for your dearest, even if he can be so rash and mean, you will always give him that one treatment to make him all act up again.

Chuuya Nakahara

To start with this, the boss of the Port Mafia- Mori Ougai. He took you in when he found you as the only sole survivor o- no, correction, when one of the thugs held you as a hostage because of your ability. Now he pretty much took you in, introduced you to Kouyou first since the other 'Executives' are busy at the moment, you did not complain.

Despite your condition, you were definitely a troublemaker that already broke something on accident, on your first day too. So to be spared by the scary guys you had to behave around WHENEVER Kouyou is around, despite her assuming about your behavior(although you ended up getting scolded by her at the very end of the day, much to say she will teach you some manners and... antics.) the moment you settled yourself in the Port Mafia.

Day two, Kouyou agave you a tour around in the headquarters yesterday and had led you to your very own apartment(by yours truly, Port Mafia's enterprise.) which you have been asked to meet with her up once more, regarding to the introduction of this two individuals that goes by 'Osamu Dazai' and 'Chuuya Nakahara'. To you, those names didn't mattered to you at first because you'd be working for them in any way. Which, you were wrong. You found both of them to be annoying- yet fun to mess around with, mainly with Chuuya.

Several years after after Dazai's defection, it deeply affected this little pipsqueak right here and it still did, maybe you reminded Dazai a little bit too much so you decided to 'change' your behavior a little bit. Not just a bit, to be honest. All you know is that you were only having fun, not caring anything else aside from works and all - you we're irresponsible little shit that Chuuya always had to babysit as well, you and Dazai to say at least but now you adapted to be more responsible and caring for the poor darling of yours. He doesn't need more headaches now, does he?

Spoiling you rotten with his filthy Executive payments... Those expensive jewelries or items that you wanted, of course there are some times that you refused- he didn't understand why you would but instead you were rather shy about it and wishes that you could do the same(buy those expensive stuffs for him).

"Loving me is already enough."

That. Sentence. Kept on repeating on your head like a broken records that has been forgotten for about centuries? That won't matter, it sounded sweet to your ringing. You could even give the entire galaxy just for him and his happiness it should be just you, only you and him.

He's perfect, in every way. You will become god and reshape everything else in case if he was ever wrong- you'll make it right for him. His backstory, the Arahabaki. He deserves something better which is YOU. You trust him enough to not flirt with some other girls, have him always message you if he's gonna come home late(because of his responsibilities as a Executive) or about the mission, his words were always true and you know that because you kept a hidden tracker somewhere on his hat. Though, there was a time where he forgot to message you, hells was on a loose and you attempted to track him down with those tracking device of yours? You overthinked that he was hanging out with some other people other than yourself yet it was just him handling another mission. Once he returned home, he wasn't exactly in a best mood when you tried to confront him about the whole thing- making you "worried sick" about him as the argument ensues.

It was rather cold for the both of you, and you absolutely despises it. With both of your backs facing eachother's, with the two of you eating some lunch and breakfast either seperated or in silence because none of you are trying to talk about it. At. All. This tension was suffocating you so badly- if the two of you wasn't so stubborn enough this would've been prevented, perhaps another safety precautions should be added to this when he is going out and forgot to tell you.

Well, today is the day that you planned to get your loving darling back in your arms- in your embrace. You were planning to get that one expensive wine, he has a dozen collection of some wines but you were sure that in his penthouse, he didn't had this one brand just yet, maybe get back home early and cook him something he likes while preparing for you apology speec—

All of your thoughts was dropped when you were walking down on this one corridor, saw him talking to one of the people- they dare to make him smile instead of you doing it? It should have been you. We're you not enough? All you did for him was not enough? For your darling? You should've had resorted to doing this one severe method that you had planned on doing so for a very long time ago, anything to oppose that is a threats to your relationships. You stood there for a brief second not realizing that you both if your fists were clenched closed, harshly enough with both of your nails sunken in your skin before you had to cut your line of thoughts here, you didn't want to bother your lovely for now as you retreated back to your respective office, waited for the day before heading home.

You got home early- the others questioned you why? That's because you forgot there's this one "personal" thing you had to deal with back home and you need to have it fixed asap, luckily Mori let you go home early and so. What's the personal problem if you may ask? This one PERSON that took away all of the things you needed to do for Chuuya, your honey- your darling. You wouldn't let them just take away that genuine smile off him without your permission at all, absolutely not and you aren't going to accept it.

These vicious thoughts that flooded your mind isn't very nice of it, but it has been disposed by you, the one and only. You waited for this one particular person to head out of the headquarters that made your man laughed- it was rather a poisonous thought, you don't want to think about it again and now that you took them down, putted a super glue both on his mouth and nostrils while you tied him up— you took this one scoop, without any mercy at all you dugged the scoop inside of his eyes despite the person's screams muffled in agony, have it scooped it out of their system one by one before leaving them from one of the abandoned alleyway.

Oh those scene kept on repeating and repeating as you prepared the dishes, that juicy beef steak with a little bit of gourmets on it and had the wine prepared till you heard a wooden crack coming from the entrance, with both of your eyes lit up upon his prescence. Without any hesitation you headed to the front- you greeted him with a simple "welcome back" while getting the other stuff aside from his, now puzzled by your actions as you led him to the room, feeling a little bit fishy about your behavior for some reasons. But he still didn't gave you any attention or spoke with you at all

Playing hard to get now? You let go of his shoulder before heading to the kitchen, now unable to fully face him with your head looking down to the ground. Letting out a sigh of regret.

"I'm sorry, baby. I know it was an ass of me to push your buttons from that time so I wanted to make things up now." You rose your head up and whirled your whole body to him, with your gaze softened with a solemn regret that pleas for his forgiveness. Though, who is he exactly to decline this now- all of his loved one's set up, all he could do for now was to lower his gaze with both of his brows frowning. "No, I should be the one sorry for yelling." He tried to reason back at you, perfect. You made him say what you wanted him to say now. Even just by apologizing he does it so well, so perfectly.

"Don't be, it's understandable." A weak laughter came out from your mouth before approaching him and gave him a little smooch on his cheeks- you're making him tempted. He definitely missed this kind. "Although, perhaps you should go take a shower first, I already set the bathtub for you there." Again, you snuck another kiss but this time it's on his lips, he returned it back though and all he said was "Alright, I'll be back in the kitchen for about a minute doll" before heading up to the stairs, you your shared bedroom to go ahead and change now.

He still isn't aware. You're willing to do all of the dirty works to keep his image clean.

[xviminds]

Self Control // Jasper Hale

Summary: Jasper decided to take you away on a little rendezvous, unfortunately, it did not end the way you expected.

Warnings: Light smut.

A/N: I haven’t written in awhile, so forgive me if this is shit.

You walked the halls of the school, the thunder outside shook you from the core and made you jump a bit. Ideally, school was supposed to be off today due to the weather, but they never announced it. Although, people did make it a free day for them, except for the few that actually showed up. It was empty and the echo of your footsteps added on to the eerie vibe. You squeezed the psychology books in your hands, glueing them to your body as a shield.

“Fuck,” you murmured at the sound of another thunder, lightning following it right away.

Why did it have to be so dark? You hated darkness, you hated the unknown- it was something you couldn’t control. Your heart was racing, but you were almost at your destination. Your locker. However, the calm didn’t last for long- you heard a different pair of footsteps coming towards you from the other end of the hallway. The lights flickered above you, the few that were still working after the power outage in the morning. You took a few short and panicked breaths as you moved faster. You were not about to be stuck in a dark hallway with some stranger. The fear might’ve seemed irrational, but it stemmed from a previous experience. A faint memory from your childhood that your brain pushed away to the very abandoned corners of it.

The lights flickered a few more times until, not to your surprise or luck, they went out.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

You were going to literally shit your pants.

You held your books in one hand as your other hand tried to find your keys. On your keychain you had a mini flashlight that you attached awhile back. You knew it would be useful one day. Your hand finally got ahold of it deep in the pocket of your jacket. You quickly pulled it out and switched it on, bringing your hand up to shine it in front of you. That’s when you saw him.

His hands were behind his back as he calmly strolled towards you, his golden eyes shone brightly in the dark. His posture was strong and confident, nothing out of the ordinary. Just his presence was enough to settle your nerves down.

“Jasper,” you smiled.

He was standing next to you, a slight smirk on his face as he looked down at your face.

“Hello, Y/N,” he drawled out.

His voice was smooth, your name rolled off his tongue so easily it felt like he’s been saying it for ages. It has only been a few months since you started seeing each other, secretively, of course.

“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming in today,” you asked him and tilted your head up to meet his gaze.

“I wasn’t going to, but I had to see you,” he spoke. “And had to save you from this dull place.”

Jasper’s eyes gleamed mischievously, he had something on his mind and there was no way you could reject anything that was about to come out of his mouth.

“Let me show you something.”

You let out a sigh and rolled your eyes, staring at his for a moment before giving him your answer.

“Am I going to be back home in time?”

Jasper nodded his head and grabbed the books from your hand, carrying them in his own. You turned the flashlight off and intertwined your fingers with his, excitement building up in your stomach and making you anxious for what was to come.

Jasper wasn’t the one to talk much, he always kept to himself which is why it was so hard to read him. You were sitting next to him as he focused his eyes on the road, his hands gripping the wheel making his veins more prominent. You slouched back and stared at him, examining every detail of his face. He was gorgeous, everything about him drew you in more and more. You couldn’t keep away from him no matter how hard you tried, and he knew that. Jasper would never admit it, but he loved the effect he had on you. It was obvious, everyone noticed it.

“You’re staring for too long, darlin’,” his voice was raspy, but that only made you not want to take your eyes off of him ever again.

“I can’t help it.”

The feeling between your thighs was way too familiar at this point and you knew for sure that Jasper could feel it as well. You hoped that wherever he was taking you had a bed because you weren’t up to having a romantic night out.

“We’re almost there,” the vampire announced and turned the car on the small path leading further into the forest.

You looked out of the window and it seemed like he was leading you away from any sign of civilization.

“I want to be fucked, not murdered, Jasper.”

Your remark made him scoff as his eyes traveled up and down your body, only to be brought back to the path in front of him. He was used to your dirty jokes, but again, he said nothing.

The trees started to clear up, but the rain was so hard you couldn’t see anything through it. It looked like there was a place at the end of the path, a small house.

“Where are we, Jazz?”

You questioned and furrowed your eyebrows trying to make out anything beyond those god damn trees.

“You’ll find out.”

You shot him a look of annoyance. This man couldn’t be straight up about anything.

Soon enough the ride came to a stop and Jasper got out of the car, running to your side to open the door for you and shield you from the rain with his jacket. He unlocked the door with a small, silver key he pulled out of his pocket and urged you to come in.

As you stepped inside Jasper turned on the lights and you couldn’t help but smile. The light itself was dim, but the small, white Christmas lights hung all around the room made up for it. Jasper closed the door and grabbed your hand leading you upstairs. The lights flickered in every corner of the house, shadows dancing all throughout making you forget about the thunderstorm outside.

“What is this place?”

You stepped into one of the rooms on the second floor, it looked like the master bedroom. The curtains were shut and the atmosphere of the room was quite a bit different from the rest of the house. A king bed with silky red sheets stood next to the wall in the middle of the room. It took up much space, which made you wonder why it was the main focus considering that Jasper was a vampire.

“I got this bed a few days ago,” Jasper replied, noticing your obvious curiosity. 

“Why?”

Your eyes quickly glanced at him before settling back on the bed. You walked over to its side and ran your hand over the material covering it; it was delicate to the touch.

“So I could do this,” Jasper’s words were the last thing you heard before everything turned into a mess in your head.

You were pushed on the bed so fast you couldn’t understand what was happening, until his lips met yours. Jasper always tried to be gentle with you, he was much stronger than you and was always afraid of hurting you, but this seemed different. You laid on your back with your head on the pillow, his hands were positioned next to it as his lips hungrily kissed yours. You haven’t had sex yet due to what Jasper called “safety issues”, but the few times that you attempted he always stopped himself before it got serious. His lips traveled down your jaw, hesitant to make his next move the vampire decided to leave your neck unattended. It was too tempting and he couldn’t risk losing himself. Jasper was walking the line and you didn’t know what actually pushed him to do so, but after months of thirsting over him this felt like a blessing. Jasper’s vamp speed played to his advantage, he wasted no time taking off your clothes or even remotely being careful about it.

“Jasper..,” you moaned out his name trying to get his attention, but he did not respond. 

His sudden change of behavior was worrying you. What has gotten into him? But, the man was too smart for it, wanting nothing but to get you relaxed and focused on the pleasure. He had his reasons for it. He felt like he was ready to give you what you needed, he thought his self control grew due to the months of being with you.

His lips traced your exposed chest, leaving wet kisses along the way. Although he was ice cold, his touch still burned your skin and imprinted on you. It was hard to be reasonable when you had an attractive him all over you, your mind went blank and there was nothing you could do about it at the moment.

Jasper’s hand cupped your chin, his thumb caressing so lightly. You fluttered your eyes open only to be met by his golden ones, gazing deeply into you.

“Before I do this, I want to know if you’re okay with it. I want to know if you want me to stop,” he whispered and you could sense the uncertainty in his words.

You brought his hand to your cheek, leaning in to his touch and giving him a soft smile.

“I want this, Jasper. I am sure of it.”

Jasper furrowed his eyebrows and searched your eyes for a few more moments before nodding his head and sinking down your body. His lips wrapped around your nipple causing you to arch your back as his tongue swirled graciously. You lost your hands in his hair, tugging it whenever his movements intensified, signaling him how much you were enjoying it.

The vampire repeated his actions with your other breast slowly moving further down your body. His tongue danced around your torso leaving soft kisses throughout. This new sensation made your eyes roll back into your head causing a whimper to escape your mouth. Jasper was your first, in everything, so whenever he tried something new you had a definite reaction to it.

Jasper’s actions became more sloppy, you did not notice it, but he sure felt what was happening. Although, he wanted to have you just as much as you did,the smell of you, the fact that there was blood running through your veins so close to him made him unsure of whether or not he was ready to do it. You moaned when Jasper’s mouth reached your lower abdomen. You were excited to the point where you forgot how impulsive and inexperienced with humans your boyfriend was. It took one more pull of his hair, one more sound of your heart banging against your chest, one more look at the veins running down your arms only covered by a thin layer of skin for the vampire to snap.

Jasper pushed himself off of you as he felt the urge to drain you completely, flying against the wall and shuttering the bookshelf behind him. You jumped up, bewildered by what happened. Your first instinct was to cover your naked body as you watched your lover speed off to who knows where, leaving you all alone. His words and the books scattered all over the floor with a broken shelf hanging from the wall were the only signs of him ever being in the room.

“I’m sorry,” replayed in your head as you stared at the closed curtains not knowing what to do next.

[enchantedbride]

A Flicker of Sable Feathers

Rating: SFW

Warning: Mentions of Attempted Physical Assault

Tagging: @curiousobsession101​​​, @juliannos​​​, as well as @goldenworldsabound​​​ and @foreveryours-mouse​​​

A/N: A Reincarnation AU Lucey Drabble, taking place around Lesson/Chapter 3-4 of the main plot of Obey Me! Joey briefly recalls a memory from a past life, unaware that it’s indeed one of her own memories. 

Joey sighed heavily with relief when she saw that Lucifer had come to her roommate’s rescue. A human who’d barely learned to use the borrowed magic she’d be given was definitely no match for someone as ancient and powerful as a demon like Leviathan, especially when fueled by an envious rage. Joey herself was no more experienced and could have done little to help, she realized, even if she’d been seconds away from throwing herself in front of Kat in an attempt to protect her. At the very least, she had hoped to give Kat enough time to run across the room to Mammon who was already on his way to her. 

But Lucifer had appeared in an instant to halt his younger brother’s attack. They locked eyes, Lucifer glaring at Leviathan and telling him he was out of control. Leviathan hesitated, backing down immediately. Lucifer then ordered him to go back to his room.  Leviathan was slow to make his way from the room, but with a little extra prodding from Diavolo he was soon gone. Everyone in the room started talking- both about what had just happened and what to do from here. 

They had all gathered because Kat had challenged Leviathan to a game of trivia about his favorite fictional series. But with him gone, there was a question of how a victor would be called. 

But Joey herself offered nothing to the conversation. In fact her mind wasn’t on the topic at hand at all once she saw that Kat was safe. Actually, once Lucifer had appeared, she could barely take her eyes off him. 

It was already bothersome enough to her that he seemed so familiar to her despite the fact they’d never met before she came to the Devildom. Well, that and the fact she strangely found him immediately alluring and attractive despite almost everything about him being things that she found repulsive in another. He was arrogant, impatient, and had an inclination towards cruelty. And she just didn’t become immediately and powerfully drawn to someone like that, ever. That’s not how her attraction worked. 

He was now in his true demonic form, having transformed in order to intimidate his brother into backing down.  His clothes had changed, horns jutted and curled out from above his ears, and a small black gem adorned his forehead. But what drew her eyes the most were his large, feathery black wings. There was something about those wings, something about the way he looked now that once again struck an unsettling cord of familiarity with Joey. 

There’s absolutely no way I should find this familiar, she thought. 

As the others continued to talk, they hardly noticed at first she hadn’t said anything. Her mind did well to block everything else out. But then suddenly she heard someone’s voice sharp and clear.

“Wait! Please don’t run away. I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean for you to find out like this…”

Huh? It was Lucifer’s voice. She looked around, trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about. But suddenly, she wasn’t in the same room as before, and everyone had vanished. 

Well, everyone except Lucifer. 

“I had no intention of keeping this from you. But I had yet to find the best way to explain,” he said. Joey squinted. His clothes had changed again. The room they were in was much smaller, and daylight was beginning to fall from the window to the floor. But there’s no sun in the Devildom… Where are we? “I am no longer the angel you once knew. I have been cast out of the Celestial Realm. As a result I’ve become… a demon.”

He was also holding something. A comb? Or it looked like a comb, from what she could tell. She also recognized furniture around the room. It looked like a bedroom. 

I feel like I know this room. But why?

“But even if I’ve changed, there is something in me that hasn’t,” he said, tilting his head and frowning. There was something in his eyes that was… soft. Gentle. Pleading. She’d never seen Lucifer with an expression like that.

He looked vulnerable. And yet it somehow didn’t seem out of place. In fact, it felt… right? Like this version of Lucifer was somehow more authentic, like somehow the way she’d seen him behave before felt off. But there’s no way I would be able to know that. She was shit at reading people and it wasn’t like they were all that close. They hardly knew each other.

“I love you. Truly.” His words and the desperation in his voice made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end and her cheeks flush slightly. What? Who? “Angel or devil, I will always love you with everything I am. But if I frighten you and you wish me gone, say the word and I will leave you be-”

She heard someone cut him off in reply. 

“Please don’t say that! Don’t say you’ll leave me … Please.” 

Joey felt like she could almost recognize the voice. She was on the cusp of realizing the answer, and yet for some reason she couldn’t figure it out. 

But wait. Should the voice even be recognizable to me? She questioned herself. What is going on here?

“Joey?” The room began to blur and both Lucifer’s voice and the person he was speaking with grew faint. But another voice became clear above them. “Hey Joey! What are you talking about? Snap out of it, will ya?”

She blinked and suddenly she was back. She was in the room she was in before, and everyone was there again. But now everyone was looking right at her. Also, Mammon was right next to her, shaking her shoulder.

“Wh-” She shook her head, rubbing her temples as she tried to get her bearings. “Did I… Did I fall asleep in the middle of the conversation?”

“Not so much asleep,” Satan answered with a frown, coming to her side. “More like you were in a trance of some sort. Are you feeling alright?”

“Not really. I’m a little freaked out to be honest.” Seriously. I mean what the hell was that? ...Should I tell them what I saw and heard? 

“Yeah, that goes for us too,” Mammon remarked, “You weren’t just out of it. You were also talking! But none of what you said made any sense. You were begging someone not to leave. Have any idea what that was about?”

What? I was begging someone not to leave? … Hold on. Wait a minute, if I was begging someone not to leave was I… saying some of what I was hearing in that vision?

“I don’t know. But for a moment it felt like I was in some sort of dream.” 

She was about to elaborate, when Lucifer suddenly swooped in front of Satan. The sudden close proximity to him, especially after the scene she just witnessed involving him, made her feel flustered. A light pink colored her cheeks for a moment and she quickly turned her head away from Lucifer so he wouldn’t see. Not that he would have any idea of what it meant, she argued with herself. And he obviously wasn’t talking to me in that vision, right? So why am I feeling flustered over this?

He spoke, his voice indicating concern. And yet the words were dismissive.

“It sounds like a traumatic reaction to seeing your fellow human about to be mauled by a demon. Nothing you should fret too much over. What would be best right now if for you to get some rest.” he said. Joey blinked in surprise when he offered out his hand. “Here, Let me escort you back to your room. You can take my hand if you feel unwell.”

“You’re offering to escort her back? Well that’s an interesting choice.” Satan smirked. “And here I thought you were going out of your way to foist care of your human charges on someone else as much as possible.”

“Enough, Satan,” Lucifer rebuked him. “As I said earlier, as the eldest it’s my duty to clean up my younger brother’s messes. I will not have anyone else making the mess here worse.” His eyes flitted away and back to Joey. “The sooner you rest, the better.”

“I…” she hesitated. “Are you sure? I mean... are you sure you want to escort me and not have Satan do it? You did appoint him as my guardian while here in the Devildom after all.”

Lucifer paused. His expression was unreadable to her. 

“Indulge me,” he answered finally after a moment of silence hung in the air. Satan visibly raised an eyebrow at those words, but said nothing as Lucifer continued. “Satan will have plenty of time to prove himself as your guardian. But I will take a more direct hand with you for this once.”

Joey sighed softly and rubbed her head once more. “Alright. Lead the way then.” She took his offered hand. She didn’t exactly feel unwell, but perhaps something physical would ground her. His hands had felt notably cold even though he wore gloves, both when he’d first presented her D.D.D. to her when they first met and when he’d returned the device to her after she’d left it in the student council room after that same fateful meeting. It was still true now, and yet something felt different now. 

It felt… 

“Joey,” he spoke her name firmly, his words breaking in before she could finish her thought. She realized that he’d already started walking and she’d gotten lost in her own head. She shook her head and followed along to keep pace, their hands interlocked. 

The two didn’t speak to each other until they were quite a distance from the others. But then, Lucifer was the first to speak up.

“There’s something I wish to speak to you about, but I didn’t want to talk about it in front of the others,” he said. “Right before I stepped in to stop Leviathan, I noticed you moving as though you intended to intervene yourself.”

“Mammon had tripped on his way to get Kat away from him. I was frightened that he wouldn’t make it in time! And I didn’t know if anyone else would step in. I had to do something to protect my roommate, I thought.”

Lucifer huffed.

“It was a very foolish impulse,” he scolded her, “Had you followed it, both of you would have potentially been killed.” Lucifer’s tone was sharp, barely restrained anger behind it. “Don’t be so quick to throw your life away.”

Joey sighed. “Because if anything happened to me and Kat it would hurt the exchange program?”

He seemed to pause longer than expected before he responded. “Well that, certainly. But as both you and Kat were entrusted to me by Diavolo, responsibility would fall on my shoulders, and my failure would reflect badly on Diavolo as well as myself.”

“I see.” Somehow I feel disappointed by that answer. But I didn’t really expect any different, so why is that? More questions. Always more questions when it came to him, and some of the others here. But especially him. 

“Listen, Joey, and listen well.” He dictated. “You promised to help your fellow human escape this place, did you not? That you both would see the human world again? You can’t keep that promise if you’re dead.” Joey blinked, surprised by what she heard. “If you wish to honor your word, then guard your life well here.”

“I…” she hesitated. “I suppose you have a point. Alright, I’ll be more careful.”

“Good.” He nodded, satisfied with her answer. “Alright, we’re almost to your room. Do you need anything from me before we arrive?”

“...No. No, I don’t think so,” she answered. “Thank you, Lucifer.”

She could have sworn he almost smiled at that. But the expression change was so brief she worried she mistook it from a simple twitch of the face. 

“Rest well, then. I will send Satan later to check on you.”

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Oppa Knows Best | Part 2

Word Count: 4.3k Genre: Smut, Angst Summary:  If there is anything a lot of people can agree on when it comes to college, it’s that college is about much more than just education; it’s a whole transformative experience.  The person you were before college is not the same person you will be after college, and no one knows the truth of that statement quite like you do. You just didn’t expect to change so much so fast. Chapter Plot: You go back on your promise to Jaehyun, or at least you try to, only to you find out just what he’s willing to do to stop you from sleeping around.  Warnings: This story contains a very unbalanced power dynamic between the two main characters that is unhealthy and shouldn’t be tolerated irl. If someone treats you this way irl please run. This is a fictional story and the plot is basically just a vehicle for the smut. Contains slutshaming and controlling behavior. Also the dirty talk is painfully corny and pornolike so be warned lol. Oppa kink if it wasn’t obvious. Not as edited as it should be rip me  Part 1 and the rest of my masterlist are in my bio bec tumblr is a dick

It’s been a month since your drunken tryst with Jaehyun. You never got the chance to confront him about it, not really anyway. After that chastity agreement he had roped you into, any hope you might’ve had about finally coming clean to him about your feelings was completely dashed to the ground. Unlike the fanciful dreams that dominated your hours of your sleep that night—few but seeming to stretch on forever in your dreamscape of rainbow love and fairy dust—Jaehyun wasn’t interested in a relationship with you—not romantic, not sexual. You had stood there that morning in your new room, after all your stuff had been moved there, with your face cradled between Jaehyun���s hands and his body almost flush with your own, as he sucked you into another one-sided conversation. “Listen, I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have acted out that way. I should be protecting you, not the one hurting you. Please forgive me.” He had entreated, looking glum and downtrodden, thoroughly disappointed in himself. You wanted to tell him that there was nothing to forgive—on the contrary, last night was one of the happiest moments in your life. To touch him, to be one with him, was your longest-lasting dream, and he had given you that last night. You wanted to tell him that you didn’t regret it, but you’d only be exposing yourself to the man who obviously wasn’t on the same page as you.

“I was just so angry and drunk and I tried to prove my point in a really fucked up way. I crossed a line I never dreamed of crossing. I laid my hands on you, my little angel. I hurt you.” He had almost sobbed, clearly distressed and regretful. It broke your heart, because it hurt seeing him in pain, but more so because of the reason for it. In his inconsiderate view that you’re a child and it’s wrong for him to desire you, he deprives you of your own capacity to be a sexual being and have desires of your own for him.   “When you said that thing about not coming here if you had known I would act that way… fuck, that killed me. I couldn’t sleep. It’s all I can about, that I was so stupid that I let my anger put us in danger. I would never forgive myself if I was the reason I lost you. I’m so sorry.” He leaned down even closer to you, eyes boring into your soul and breath gently fanning over your lips in what would’ve been a thrilling prelude to a fiery kiss, if it weren’t for the fact that he was crushing your hopes at ever getting a kiss from him again at this very moment. “All I ever did was for you. Please understand that.” You felt like crying. This wasn’t the fairytale confession you’ve been dreaming of. It seemed foolishly asinine now, but last night you had actually got yourself to thinking you might have a chance with your childhood love. You convinced yourself that the reason he was so riled up was because he felt the same way about you and he got so jealous he couldn’t control himself, like the Tsundere male lead of a cringey drama. But there were no hidden motives behind his protectiveness, and you were left having to continue the scene alone and pretend that the tears that were now streaming down your face were the result of his brash actions last night and not the words he said trying to take them back now as he waited breathlessly for your response, hanging his life on your next words.   “Of course, oppa. I understand.”                                   •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• That had been the start and end of your romance with Jaehyun, a pitiful thing that died even before it was born—or so it had seemed. For a while, Jaehyun seemed truly remorseful about how he acted that night, and he was back to the old Jaehyun you knew, patient and gentle; the furious and impulsive man you had seen that night nowhere to be seen… until you drew him out of hiding, unintentionally this time. “What the hell, Jaehyun? Did you like send out a memo to all the guys on campus to stay away from me or something? You’re ridiculous!” You shout as you burst through the door, your fury preceding you to lash at the unsuspecting man sitting on the living room couch. “I didn’t. You can talk to whoever you want to.” He answers noncommittally, pretending to be oblivious to your actual meaning, but you could see the understanding in his eyes.   A couple of months had passed since then; it made you forget the fearsome side of Jaehyun that he’d shown you for the first time that night, or maybe you were gullible enough to believe you’d seen the end of it, so you innocently make the mistake of confusing his current evasiveness for guilt. But that side of him was still here, perhaps it always was, and it wasn’t guilt he was feeling.   “Stop with the bullshit, Jaehyun. You know that’s not what I meant. Did you warn people not to hook up with me?” You stand in front of him, towering over his seated form and glowering down at him with all your might. By all means, you should be the intimidating party in this situation but Jaehyun doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t even bother standing up in order to be level with you. He just glares back at you in a way that makes you feel like a student being given a timeout by their teacher. You had no doubt he’d done it, there was no other explanation as to why you suddenly couldn’t get hookup when you had no trouble finding one before, and all the guys you tried to talk to would try to get away from you as fast as possible as if you had some kind of new, highly contagious, highly incurable STD. Jaehyun is a popular guy, friends with all the guys and crushed on by all the girls. He’s a guy’s guy and the definition of boyfriend material. Not to mention that he is a member of the biggest fraternity on campus. He can be extremely intimidating when he wants to, something you had been aware of ever since you were a kid but had never experienced directly before that night; no one ever dared bully you and when Jaehyun decided that someone was bad news, they weren’t allowed near you again. In short, Jaehyun had both the motive and the means to pull something like this off. You’re not usually one to care what people think of you, but the knowledge that essentially everyone on campus now knows that you’re being cockblocked by your overbearing brother figure is fucking mortifying. “Why were you trying to hook up with someone in the first place?” His voice was calm, but of the deceptive kind, the kind where all the anger had reached a singularity, lulling you into thinking it’s not there, only for it to eat you up when you get closer. “T-that’s not the point!” You falter, somehow feeling like you’re the one who had things to answer for.  “Did you or did you not—“ “Yes, it is.” He spit out, shutting you up. “We had a deal.” “Fuck your deal. This whole thing is dumb anyway. I don’t need you to parental control me. I’m a grown woman and I want sex.” You curse at him, but it sounds insolent and whiny in your shrill and jittery voice, like a sixteen year old petulantly declaring to her dad that she’s not a child anymore. “You can have sex when you’re in a long term committed relationship.” He says with finality as if he was already done discussing this, not the least bit convinced or amused by your act. His words didn’t upset you so much as his dismissiveness of the need for your input on your own sex life had. Jaehyun was never this unreasonable. Yes, he always had strong opinions when it came to you, but he made sure to explain clearly and patiently why he thought what he thought and, almost always, that was enough to convince you that he was right. There were some instances when you weren’t completely convinced by his reasoning, but those were few and far between and he had shown you time and time again that he only wanted the best for you so you always ended up listening to him anyway. You were forever his good girl, but that was because he was a good oppa. Now he was acting more like an overbearing parent than a protective older brother, and it frustrated you. “That could be years from now. I’m horny. I need to have sex now!” “Don’t speak that way. Are you an animal that you can’t control your urges?” He hisses, and you flinch back at the clear distaste in his voice, making tears start to bubble up behind your eyelids. You were entirely out of your depth dealing with a Jaehyun that was on the offensive, let alone a Jaehyun who was looking at you like you disgusted him. Does the thought of you having sexual needs like anyone else repulse him that much? You get that you’re like a sister to him, but you’re not actually related and the fact that the man you love, and have sexual thoughts about, finds the idea of you being sexual so revolting makes you want to cry. But you can’t cry. Because then Jaehyun would try to do anything to stop you from crying, even if he has to go as far as to lie and claim that he does want you. You have a theory that if you ever come to confess your love to him, he might just pretend that he loves you too just so he wouldn’t hurt you. He’d date you, marry you, be with you forever, if that would make you happy even if it came at the cost of his own happiness. No, you’d rather face the truth than live a lie. You don’t want to cry, so you get angry. “I’ll talk however the hell I want. I’m horny and I want to be fucked. I want a dick in my pussy. I want a dick in my mouth. Hell, I’d even take a dick in my ass at this point.” “___.” He growls in warning, but you couldn’t stop now if you wanted to. “Oh, you know what? Why don’t I have all those at once. I should just go to a bar and have a group of guys gangbang me—“   “Shut up!” He bellows suddenly, making you almost jump out of your skin. You stand shaking like a leaf in front of his full wrath. Suddenly, crying doesn’t seem like a bad idea. Jaehyun would soften immediately, scooping you up in his arms and whispering sweet lies into your ear until you’re smiling again. It’s a jarring thing, him being the source of your anxiety yet the only one who can ease it. He frightens you yet you want to fall into his arms and be safe within them.   Jaehyun closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath. You think he’s trying to calm himself down but when he opens them again, you’re hit with a nauseating sense of dejavu—there in his eyes is the same look he had that night, a furious ravenousness, like he could just eat you whole. The chill that shoots down your spine curiously embeds itself in your lower stomach then spreads out, leaving a warm, tingling ache in its place that you knew too well, and that Jaehyun was frequently the cause of. Maybe you were fucked up, but the dangerous air that curled and slithered around him right now swallowed all the meager defiance you had mustered within you, and dragged out the pathetic submissiveness you have towards the man in front of you by the teeth. Your eyes were glued to his, like a small animal hypnotized, and you see them going down your body as if to size you up, only to stop midway and fixate on something, his jaw clenching. Following where his gaze had settled, you realize with horror that you’ve unconsciously been rubbing your thighs together in a pitiful attempt to ease the ache burning between them. For an immeasurable amount of time, Jaehyun’s looks as if he’s in pain as conflicting emotions flit over his face, none of them readable to you which only makes you all the more distressed. Will he send you off in anger? In disgust? God, please anything but that.   All at once, his face is wiped clean, and you watch as he leans back on the couch, his frame affecting a stance of relaxation and calm that leaves you breathless and anticipating the worst. “Come here.” He orders, running a hand over one of his thighs deliberately. “Oppa?” You hesitate, not comprehending what he wanted from you, or not daring to. “Don’t make me repeat myself now, angel.” He warns, tapping his thigh impatiently. You don’t want to disobey him, yet you still hover where you are, buzzing with uncertainty and making little jerky half-movements to follow his order only to yank yourself back right away. You were scared that you were misunderstanding his intention, and even more scared that you weren’t. Suddenly, a hand wraps around your waist and yanks you down, Jaehyun propping you up where he wants you to be. Startled at the sudden drop, your body attempts to steady itself; your hands fly out to clutch at his shirt and your legs clench around his thigh that you were now straddling. Bad move, because now you could feel his toned torso underneath your palms, and your sensitive core was flush against his thick, muscular thigh.   “I’ve got you, angel.” He reassures you, but his husky voice so close to your ears only arouses you more, making you involuntarily buck your hips against him, your heat pushing down against his firm thigh and tearing a choked moan from your throat. Jaehyun stares at you, gaze calculating and trying to catch your own elusive one, “What’s the problem, angel?” “Nothing.” You bite your lip, avoiding his eyes, so he tangles a hand in your hair and tugs on it roughly, forcing you to look at him. “You will look at me when I’m talking to you. Is that understood?” His gaze is so sharp it could cut, and you can do nothing but nod meekly. That seems to appease him because he starts stroking your hair softly. But instead of being soothing, his touch burns you, building up your desire with every gentle stroke of his nails against your scalp, pleasurable but cautionary. “Now tell me.” You shake your head, scared to utter a word. You still didn’t know what he wanted. All you knew is what you wanted, and that is for him to keep touching you. There were so many ways for you to mess this up so you keep quiet. But Jaehyun didn’t like that. “It’s like you’re trying to piss me off.” He scoffs. His hands fall down to your hips and push them down, rubbing you against his thigh and making you cry out again, your hands fisting at his shirt and your eyes open wide. “Nothing, huh?” He goads you. Without intending to, you find yourself uttering out a small, “Please.” But it wasn’t enough for him, he wanted more. “What is it, angel? What do you want?” Why is he doing this to you? Is this a trick to get you to spill out your desire for him just so he could turn you away in disgust? No, Jaehyun would never hurt you like that. But that leaves only one other option… that he actually wants you. But that didn’t make any sense. He had told you himself that he regrets what he did that night. He seemed so sincere in his apologies too, much to your dismay. Yet, here he is, stone cold sober and trying to get you to tell him that you want him. Why?   Jaehyun didn’t like that you were taking this long to answer him. He props his thigh up, pushing it harder against your heat and increases his pace. “Didn’t you say something about being horny?” He prods, starting you off. Your brain starts to shut down, not caring if this was a trick or not anymore, too high off the maddening pleasure that was too little yet too much. “Yes.” You squeak, “I’m so, so horny.” “I can tell. Everyone can. Look at the way you’re dressed.” He tsks, eyeing your skimpy outfit consisting of a plunging tank top and ultra short skirt with disapproval. His hands run up your body, finger slipping under the thin straps and pulling at them, only to make them snap back against your skin, stinging you. “You might as well have gone out naked with ‘fuck me’ spray painted across your tits.” So there it is; this is what he wanted. All of this was just to make a point. You feel sick, the contents of your stomach turning over as you prepare for the ruthless rejection that is to come. But it never does. Instead, he engulfs your breasts in his large hands, kneading them over your paper-thin top. Your nipples instantly harden under his fingers and he pulls at them punishingly, but the pain and the pleasure are nothing but a dangerous cocktail to your touch deprived body, making you arch into his hands and whine. “Fuck, you’re not even wearing a bra.” He growls, pulling your tank top down under your breasts. “Didn’t we agree that you’d be a good girl? Is it too much to ask you to control yourself? Are you incapable of shutting your legs?” “I can.” You insisted, feeling his thumbs circle around your nipple teasingly and pulling away every time you try to push your breasts against his hands.   He scoffs at your answer, and pinches your nipples again. “You’re dripping on my leg.” Your eyes fly down, and sure enough, there is a big wet patch where your crotch met his thigh, your arousal having drenched through your panties and onto his sweatpants, making a mess. “You’re hopeless.”  He mutters as he leans down towards your breasts. His tongue swirls around a nipple, and you arch your back again, trying to push more of it into his mouth. He gives you what you want, but not without a price. He opens his mouth wide, engulfing your areola and sucking harshly on it, then he pulls on the nipple with his teeth, just hard enough to sting but not to actually hurt you. You whimper and moan under the assault, sharp pleasure stabbing through you as you desperately rut against his thigh trying to find some relief. “That’s right, baby girl. Hump oppa’s leg like the little slut you are.” He pops your nipple out of his mouth and starts moving to the other one, laying kisses between your breasts on his way. Taking your other nipple into his mouth, he gives it the same treatment while his fingers flick the one he just left and his hand kneads your breast. Your eyes roll back and you moan loudly, his wet, bruising kisses making you lose your mind. “Fuck, oppa, I’m wanna cum.” You cry, your hand dropping to your crotch and trying to slip underneath your shorts so you can finish yourself, but Jaehyun catches it quickly, he glaring at you. “Did you ask permission to do that?” “No oppa.” You whimper, your wrist frail in comparison to his large hand and the vice grip he has around you. “Are you so turned on by your oppa that you forgot your manners?” “I’m sorry, oppa.” You wail, “I just need to cum, please.” He regards you with cold eyes for a moment, looking displeased. Suddenly, he scoops you up and hauls you to his room. Once inside, he makes quick work of your clothes then pulls you to the floor, seating you on his lap facing his full length mirror with your back is to his chest. He pulls your legs wide apart, planting your feet on the ground and ordering you to keep them there.   “Look in the mirror.” He orders, fondling your breasts with one hand as he kisses your neck, tongue darting out to lick a trail down your neck. His other hand travels down to your pussy, fingers skimming over your slit teasingly. You screw your eyes shut and shake your head, embarrassed to see yourself so exposed, especially when he himself was still fully clothed. Jaehyun bites down on your neck and gives your breast a punishing squeeze, growling at you, “I said look.”   When you open your eyes, the sight of yourself reflected in the mirror flushes your face with a red, bursting heat that spreads down your neck and over chest. “Do you see what you look like?” Jaehyun breathes in your ear, his fingers spreading your pussy lips wide open. “You look like a whore, cheap and easy. This is how everyone sees you when you insist on going out dressed like that, searching for a dick to sit on. Is this what you want?” You shake your head vehemently, and answer in a small voice. “No.” “Then why do you insist on being a whore?” He snarls, frustrated. “I’m just horny.” You mouth, sound barely leaving your mouth. “Then you come to me. I said I’d take care of you, didn’t I?” His fingers swirl around your clit, making you dizzy, and murmurs into your hair like a promise. “Always.” When he starts rubbing the pads of his fingers firmly and incessantly against your clit and sucking bruises onto your neck, your minds fogs over, causing you blurt to out, “But you’re not my boyfriend.” “Hmm, so what?” He spits out and suddenly plunges two of his fingers into your dripping hole. Startled by the sudden stretch, your legs spasm, trying to close shut, but Jaehyun hooks his ankles over yours and keeps you spread wide. “You said I shouldn’t have sex with anyone who isn’t my boyfriend.”   “I said you shouldn’t fuck around. But you’re a woman now and you have needs like you said. I can help you take care of that and protect you from what’s out there. I can keep you safe until he comes.” He cajoles, kissing the sensitive skin under your ear and curling his fingers inside of you. “Do you want that, baby?” “Yes,” Later, you’d try to tell yourself that the word that came out of you so readily was a mere reaction to his fingers finding that sweet spot inside of you, but it would be useless. “That means keeping your legs shut around everyone but oppa. Think you can do that?” He dumbs it down for you. “Yes, oppa.” Your voice quivers as you feel your high building up. Pumping his fingers faster in and out of you, he angles it just right to hit that sweet spot every time. The pleasure inside you was reaching critical mass; you just needed a trigger, which he grants you when he turns your head back towards him, humming a ‘good girl’ against your lips then kissing you. You pant and moan against his mouth as you climax, making it easy for him to push his tongue inside your mouth. When you instinctively wrap your lips around his tongue and suck lightly, you’re rewarded with the sexiest moan that has ever graced your ears. You never want this to stop, and he’s kind enough to stay like that for a few minutes, fingers wedged deep in your pussy and his mouth and tongue locked with your own in a messy makeout session. Eventually though, Jaehyun slips his fingers out of you and presses a last peck against your saliva coated lips before pulling back to look at you, eyes clouded over and lids drooping. “You’ll be good, won’t you, angel?” He implores you in his sweet husky voice, and how can anyone expect you to say no?   “I will.” He smiles at you, not a toothy smile but still warm and happy and it makes your heart swell. Heart bursting at the seams and eager to please him more, you turn around in his embrace and direct your attention to his hard length that’s been poking against your back for some time now, intending to return the favor. But when you reach out for it, his hand shoots out to stop you and the smile falls from his face. You feel uneasy at the sudden change in his demeanor, but you courageously power though anyway. “Let me take care of you too, oppa.” “There is no need. I can take care of it myself.” He says emotionlessly. “I know but wouldn’t it feel better if I helped you?” You croak, feeling your heart pounding erratically against your rib age. “I said no.” He barks, and you shrink back. He sighs in annoyance at your reaction and rakes a hand through his hair. “Just… I don’t need you to touch me, ok?” “Of course. It’s no problem.” You choke back your tears, “Can you, um, let go of me?” Jaehyun was still holding your wrist in his hand, staring at you and looking as if he doesn’t have any intention of releasing you soon. You know he can see the tears brimming in your eyes, and you start preparing yourself mentally for the forced coddling that is to come, knowing it will only make you feel worse. But for the first time ever, Jaehyun pretends that he doesn’t see your tears, and lets you go.                                     •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• A/N: Is this story falling apart yet? I’m nervous, please donate some feedback to this starving artist.

[darkzorua100]

So I’ve gone through the new opening a few times now and I’m ready to dissect it. Hopefully they will continue to update this one, unlike the last one, because it looks like some of this stuff might be happening in a few episodes based on what we know from the summaries while other bits look like they can be continuous elements/themes throughout this season.

Also just a quick note. I’m not going in complete order of what was shown since some shots later down the line overlap with previous ones that look like they could be happening in the same scene.

So two of the beginning and ending shots are of Yusaku’s empty duel disk. Since it looks like Ai (who isn’t even shown in his Ignis form at all in this opening) is going to be the main villain of the season, it really does bring home the point that Yusaku really is finally alone during this season. Because lets be real here, once we get to the season 3 finale, everyone is going to get killed off again while Playmaker is going to be the last one standing to beat the bad guy. Only difference this time around is that the big bad is Ai, Playmaker’s partner, meaning that Playmaker isn’t going to have anyone to stand next to him and to help him beat his old partner.

We have these two shots of our main cast of characters in the real world and in Link Vrains. The thing I like to note is that when we get the transition Spectre, Emma, Akira, Go, and Kengo disappear, leaving just Playmaker, Blue Maiden, Soulburner, Revolver, and Kusanagi. Our main fighters from last season aren’t much of a surprise since I figured they would continue to be the main focus but this makes me wonder now if Kusanagi will start to go into Link Vrains more if they included him in the shot of the Link Vrains characters and will start playing more of a role there instead of the real world side of things.

On a unrelated note, I love Takeru’s pose in the real life shot XD

Yusaku and Ai (I’m just going to continue to call this guy Ai until they show tells me it isn’t him) standing in the rain, both of them looking miserable. Yusaku missing his partner probably while Ai is probably missing his kin and probably Yusaku as well for having to leave him when he did.

However you can tell there’s a difference in their tone once they shift. Once Yusaku looks up, he still looks sad but when Ai turns and is now facing forward, he now looks determined, like he’s putting his doubts, his human friendships to the side in order to complete his goal of getting the other Ignis back. The moment he has his resolve to do whatever he has to to bring them back even if it means he has to go against Yusaku. 

These two shots look to be taking place in the same area so I’m grouping them together. It looks like Blue Maiden is trying to talk someone out of something (maybe her brother or another character that’s not in the shot) which looks like it is going to lead into a Akira and Blue Maiden tag duel. First off FINALLY we get a tag duel in Vrains and FINALLY we get to see Akira duel again since freaking the beginning of season 1. I’m interested to see how this is going to play out and I’m curious to see if Aoi is still going to be playing Marincess or will she go back to using Trickstars now that Aqua is gone?

We see that Go has gone back to playing Goukis so Aoi could go back to her original archetype as well. Speaking of Go, I’m curious to know what kind of role he’s going to be playing this season if he’s important enough to be in the opening with the other characters. Hopefully he’s in better health this time around and will finally just get over himself.

More proof this new guy is Ai? Evil Decode Talker (btw his monsters look awesome). And apparently these two are going to be dueling in freaking space. I’m so looking forward to this duel because one Ai looks like he’s going to go crazy in it and two I very much want to know if Yusaku will know this is Ai when this duel happens. It is hard to tell with Playmaker if he recognizes this as Ai in the preview. If he does find out, then this is going to hit hard for him and if he doesn’t know this is Ai at this point, he’s might just fight this like any other fight. I’m also curious to know how he’s going to find out if this is Ai. If Yusaku will put the pieces together himself or if Ai will just tell him that this is him.

I’m very much hoping this means we are finally going to be getting more real life scenes and not just the writers trying to throw in Angelmakershipping out of nowhere. Seriously don’t do this to Aoi’s character. She does NOT need to fall for him. This is what ALWAYS leads to the females going to sh*t. I mean I have my own personal problems with Aoi’s writing but don’t make it worse.

I’m very curious to know what Roboppy’s role in all of this is going to be. Ai is probably going to be trying to get the other Ignises back but why is Roboppy along for the ride? Honestly it is probably just to be with her “big brother” which is honestly just adorable in its own right. It looks like she’s going to be dueling as well which judging by her monsters looks like her duels are just going to be fun in a Yuya sense. I wouldn’t say an entertainment style of dueling but something like that is how I see her duels playing out.

It looks like we are getting all of the brother sister team ups this season because it looks like Blood Shepherd and Ghost Girl are also getting a tag duel together. Judging by the fact they we see Roboppy in a Speed Duel and these two are also in a Speed Duel, maybe we might get a Speed Tag Duel between Ai and Roboppy against Blood Shepherd and Ghost Girl. And if that’s the case, well these two are dead. Also Blood Shepherd can also say “I told you so!” to everyone along with Revolver. 

Speaking of Revolver, it looks like him and Soulburner are actually getting a rematch! HELL YES! Finally have these two flat out murder each other!

No seriously, after this death glare Takeru gave Ryoken in today’s episode, I want Takeru to punch Ryoken so badly. I will be so disappointed if we go this whole show without Takeru punching Ryoken in the face. Takeru lost his impulse control in Flame, he might actually punch him and honestly I’m expecting Takeru to get into so much crap now because of the fact that Flame is gone to keep his temper in check. Yusaku, you might want to keep Takeru under constant supervision, especially considering Ai might actually go after him in order to bring back Flame. Takeru really is not in a good position right now, is he? 

But back to the Revolver vs Soulburner rematch, I’m still willing to bet that Revolver is going to win this only because of three reasons (damn you Yusaku)

Revolver wasn’t even trying the first time around and with the opening hand he drew, he could have easily destroyed Soulburner on his first turn. If the writers go the route with how everything at the beginning of the duel will be the exactly same as their last one, Revolver is easily going to be able to overpower him in seconds.

I’m pretty sure this duel will air around the time the Revolver Structure Deck will be out and you all know how it works when it comes to new products. The anime has to advertise the hell out of them to get them to sell. And considering the fact that Salamangreats are meta and the OCG is probably sick of them by now, they are going to make this duel seem like “hey Salamangreats are so last format! Here try Rokkets!”

Takeru no longer has Flame who again was 100% his impulse control but was also a big reason why Soulburner won 99% of his duels. Flame gave him advice and the encourage for Soulburner to keep on fighting to win. Without Flame, I’m 100% sure Soulburner’s dueling is going to take a big hit from it. If Soulburner does lose this duel from this reason alone, I think it will be a good driving force for him to legitimately try and get his partner back. 

And speaking of Flame and the other Ignis, the opening and today’s episode really was hitting it home that the rest of the Ignis are gone. Now I don’t think Flame, Aqua, Windy, Earth, and Lightning are going to stay permanently dead. That just doesn’t seem like something a Yu-Gi-Oh series will do (since it is extremely rare for anyone to stay permanently dead in this franchise) but I do think these five are going to be staying dead for quite a while from the looks of things and won’t actually return until the middle, middle end, or the end of the season/show if season 3 is the final season of Vrains. 

We get this quick screenshot of what looks to be a new female-like android character and it appears to me that she is in the Knights of Hanoi’s base. Since we know that SOL created these androids, is this the spy Ryoken has been hinting at from within? On one hand, that’s pretty freaking smart but on the other, Ryoken, if this is your spy, you are a giant freaking hypocrite. You don’t trust Ai (which I mean at this point might be justified) but you have a freaking android working for you as a spy in SOL? I seriously can’t even with this boy.

It looks like these androids might be playing a significant role this season if they are showing them in the opening. Since I think some of these shots might be actual future shots, this could be the moment before Ai and Roboppy appear and upload their data into two of these androids and that’s how they both have human forms. 

And one final thing I like to note is...when the summaries talked about SOL having a ship, I was thinking along the lines of a pirate ship, not a freaking space ship! Are you kidding me right now?! Playmaker and Ai might actually be dueling in space, like actual space. We are going full on Zexal now. Season 3 isn’t messing around apparently. 

There were a few other shots but these were the ones that interested me the most. Over all, I’m very much looking forward to season 3 and I just hope it doesn’t play out like season 2 in certain scenarios and seriously hoping it doesn’t end like a certain series if this is the final season. 

[sushisama]

Stolen Moments

a bakudeku smut one shot

as promised, the fantasy au smut one shot.  i wrote this like, july of last year?  not sure why i didn’t post this.  using the lemon tag to get around the weird tagging system.

consider that a warning.

Bakugou Katsuki had been leading his captive around for a couple of weeks now.  He had looted the village, plundering more than just gold and relics.  He had stolen another treasure, one he had thought about taking since he first made eyes on the small but productive town.

Midoriya Izuku was valuable.  He had his hand in so many things, befriending higher ups of many towns and kingdoms.  He had comrades in industry and the military, and even a prince after him. He always came back to his village after an adventure, and that was how Katsuki knew where to get him.

He had come willingly after Katsuki had burned down some farm land.  He had started with plundering, but when it didn't get the reaction he wanted, he decided to raze the land.  He came out quickly after that.

And Katsuki took him.  Katsuki took the treasure known as Izuku (or Deku, as he called the worthless whelp), and dragged him along the path back to his makeshift kingdom. 

Izuku asked him the whole way why.  Why did the self-proclaimed king take someone like him?  What benefit could he possibly get from stealing him away?

Bounty, was the first thought.  Izuku was wanted.  By many people, by many kingdoms.  Specifically, the Heaven's Fire kingdom, where the prince was actively courting him.

What would he offer for the safe return of his future groom?

Disruption of the status quo was another thing.  Without Izuku, the reliance on him would upstart many a place that 'needed' him.  Katsuki enjoyed the idea of watching the world fall apart.  He looked forward to hearing what would come of his thieving of someone so dearly loved.

Katsuki didn't tell Izuku any of this, though.  He hardly spoke to him outside of barked orders.  Izuku kept trying to get him to talk, to explain anything, but he remained tight-lipped.

The trip back to his kingdom was long.  He hadn't brought Kirishima, knowing the dragon wold give away his presence.  When Katsuki snuck away to the village, he had done it under subterfuge.  He wanted to cause chaos, but he didn't want it known by whom yet.

Heaven's Fire and Dragon's Ire weren't at war, but they were at odds.  He had to keep his deeds hidden until he was home and able to protect his land.  Everything he did was to hide himself, even foregoing his usual garb for a heavy cloak that he could hide under.  He had brought another one for Izuku, keeping it on him at all times.

They kept to the paths in the woods and mountains, away from the main roads and anyone that would see them.  This wouldn't have been so bad if he still had the horse he brought with him.

The horse that Izuku had freed and scared away their first night on the way back to Dragon's Ire.

He had made it clear why he had done it: even bound in irons, he was not going to make the trip easy.  And he certainly had been doing everything to cause some level of difficulty.

Izuku did everything to stale their travels.  At some point, he didn't eat, making himself so weak he couldn't walk or keep up.  Katsuki had to pick him up and walk with him on his back for hours before Izuku's hunger forced him into eating some rabbit he caught.

He purposely ate bad vegetation, forcing them to stop for his digestive system for more than half a day.  He moved their camps at night, dragging Katsuki back down the path or out of the path while he was asleep to disorient him when he woke up.

Izuku was not stolen easily.  He was cunning and attentive to Katsuki, trying to mislead him where he could.  If he couldn't get him to stray from his path, he would slow him down and inconvenience him where he could.  Katsuki assumed he was trying to annoy him into letting him go.

It was impressive.  Katsuki had found something appealing in his cleverness.  He understood why so many people were after him.  And after being around him for so long, he could tell why the prince was pursuing him.  He exuded a welcoming aura, something that drew people to him, even Katsuki in this situation.

It didn't help that Izuku was attractive.

Katsuki had to ignore his own growing reactions to his presence.  Izuku lent himself to one embarrassing daydreams that he had to push aside.  It wasn't the time for it. He had to keep it aside until they got to Dragon's Ire where he could find someone willing to help him with relief.

Izuku would try so hard to engage him in conversation almost every day and night.  When he wasn't trying to escape, he was trying to chat him up.  As if that was going to change things, as if it would get him to free him.  The situation wasn't going to change so easily.

All it did was lead Katsuki to confusing and wandering thoughts.

Izuku tended to stare when he thought Katsuki wasn't looking.  When he was fishing with his bare hands and bare chest, he was staring.  When he had to lift trees out of their way or hack through foliage, he was staring.  When it was raining, and his hair fell and hung in his face, he was staring.  When the fire was the only thing illuminating him, he was staring.

Katsuki was staring, too.  He watched the way he chewed his thumb when he was thinking.  He watched how lost he got in the stars at night.  He was watching him on the nights Izuku fell asleep before he did.

There was a difference between Katsuki watching him and Izuku's wandering eyes.  A confusing difference, but a difference nonetheless.

Eventually, Katsuki started talking back.  He still didn't tell him his plans, but he spoke of other things.  He talked about Dragon's Ire and some of the more innocuous parts of his past.  Izuku joined in the conversation, and they learned about each other.

It only led to more confusion from Katsuki when he found himself enjoying Izuku's company.  More things for him to push down and ignore.

It was through these conversations that Katsuki learned the prince's affections were one-sided.  Though he liked him enough, Izuku had no intent on responding to the courtship from Heaven's Fire.  He actually wanted the whole thing to go away.

More confusing thoughts.  More unwelcomed daydreams.

It was weeks in by the fireside one night that Izuku made his own attraction clear.  His wandering eyes had a reason behind them, not just looking for a way out.  He had announced his appreciation for Katsuki's body in a conversation that lent itself to such a comment.

And Katsuki had found himself with no control after the admission.  He was always impulsive and here was no different.

Katsuki kissed him without regard.  He had almost enough time to regret it, when Izuku was pushing back, his lips sure.  It was rough and almost violent as they clashed with lips, teeth, and tongue.

Katsuki put his arms around him, pulling him close as the heat grew between them.  Izuku's bound hands got trapped between their bodies, fidgeting as they continued.

Katsuki's teeth moved along his jawline and neck.  Izuku tilted and moved, letting him where he wanted.  He gave in so easily, he thought as fingers gripped onto his shirt.

Had he been thinking the same thing?

Katsuki wanted more.  Katsuki wanted more of Izuku.  He had stolen him, why shouldn't he claim him fully?

And how delicious was it that Izuku showed more interest in him than the crowned prince of Heaven's Fire?

He pushed Izuku's hands down while he marked him, putting his palm over his growing hardness.  Izuku groaned at a particularly hard bite, his fingers wrapping around him an almost subconscious gesture.  He grinned against his flesh, enjoying the way Izuku was responding to him.

Katsuki grunted when he found himself suddenly on his back.  He started to sit back up, but he was halted when Izuku moved to straddle his shoulders.  He looked up at him, brow raised, only to find Izuku looking back down, his eyes lidded and his face etched with desire.

It stilled Katsuki.  Something about it was probably the most alluring thing he had ever seen.  So focused on the expression, it was a long moment before he realised Izuku was taking his member out, his wrists still together.

They clanged together as he held the base, angling himself as he raised his hips to get closer to Katsuki.  There was a moment where he did nothing, staring between it and Izuku's face.

Katsuki wasn't used to this.  The men he slept with back home gave themselves willingly.  They would get on all fours and present to him, asking for nothing beyond what he took from their backsides.

Izuku was demanding something of him.  What would he get in return for this?  He wanted to fuck him, he knew.  Was this just his foreplay?

It didn't matter.  He wanted him, after all.  He wanted him fully.  So he took his length in his mouth, only so much at first.  He watched Izuku's face as he did, finding the blush on his cheeks inspiring.  He closed his eyes and groaned as Katsuki took more of him in.

Izuku leaned forward, shifting enough where it was less awkward to try and devour him.  His body was almost leaning over him, as he put his hands above his head.  He moved his hips slowly, matching Katsuki's beginning pace.  He had more leverage to move his body than Katsuki could move his head.

Katsuki reached down and took out his own erection and started to stroke it as he continued to bob along Izuku.  He put his hand on his hip, his fingers digging in.  Izuku continued to moan and say small things as they moved in time with each other.

There was a moment Katsuki lifted his hand, seeking out Izuku's lips.  When he found them, he prodded them, and Izuku opened his mouth, taking the digits in.  He swirled his tongue around them, all while Katsuki bobbed his head and stroked himself.  Izuku moaned loudly around his fingers when Katsuki took most of his length in one long swallow.

His fingers wetted, he slipped his hand into the backside of his pants.  He found the cleft between his cheeks and ran his fingers in between.  He prodded at his entrance, eliciting a deep sound from Izuku.  He made no motion to stop him as he sunk a finger inside of him.

For what seemed a long time, they remained like that: Katsuki deep throttling Izuku while he pumped his fingers in and out of him.  Izuku's sounds spurred him on, and he ran his hand up and down his own member while he pleasured him.

Izuku made soft pleas, asking him to keep going, don't stop.  Katsuki curled in his fingers, stroking him deep inside, eliciting more and more sounds from the man over him.

He sat up just a bit, curling his fingers into blond spikes as he cried out with his release.  Katsuki only had the briefest of warning, allowing him to pull back so just the head was in his mouth.  He swallowed what came, though some of it still dribbled out of the corner of his mouth.

Izuku curled in, his hands still in his hair.  He could hear him breathing hard as he came down from his climax.  Katsuki had stilled on himself, but with the last of his semen sliding down his throat, his attention came back to his still hard erection.

It wasn't enough for Katsuki.  He needed more.

He brought his hands up on his hips as he pushed him back off him.  He kept Izuku on top of him, making it clear what he wanted.  Izuku's face was red and he almost seemed bashful at the idea.

Katsuki rolled his eyes and called him on it; that he couldn't get shy now.  Izuku nodded and he moved further down his body so he straddled his hips.  Katsuki spat in his hand twice: once to run along his backside, the next to run up his phallus.

Izuku raised and sat himself slowly on his length.  Katsuki wanted to do it faster - he needed the relief - but when he was sheathing himself, he had to agree with the speed.  Izuku was tight. 

As he sat fully onto him, he mentioned it had been a while for him.  The explanation made sense, but he didn't want it.  He wanted him. 

Izuku set the pace at first.  He put his hands on his chest, the metal clinking as he rose and fell onto him.  The moment he looked comfortable, though, Katsuki started to move his hips, thrusting into him.

He'd make it more memorable another time.  Because he would fuck him another time.  For now, he'd finish.

Katsuki sat up, changing their positions.  He put him on his back, resting his legs on one shoulder as he moved into him.  Izuku's sounds were exquisite as he ploughed into his wiling body.

It wasn't long before it was too much for Katsuki.  He pushed deep into him, calling him by his nickname as he spilled his seed inside.  Izuku moaned, arcing his back and taking it without any argument.

It was a few more minutes before Katsuki pulled out.  He liked the feeling around him, but found little point as he grew flaccid.  He rolled off of him after putting his legs down.  He tried to gain some distance, not sure what he would be like post euphoria.

But Izuku rolled into his side, smile on his lips.  Katsuki hesitantly put an arm around him, receiving a contented sigh in return.  Izuku tucked himself into him further, and asked to stay for the night.  Katsuki agreed and found sleep came easy.  He forgot about the tethering rail, opting to hold Izuku instead.

Izuku was gone in the morning.  Katsuki was disappointed, but not angry.  He had to hand it to him: he was clever.

The only thing left of him was a note left behind:

See you soon.

[queenofcats17]

Dimensional Shenanigans

I’ve written stories about @insane-control-room‘s Johan meeting my Joey, Freckle, but I thought it would be cool to write one of my main BATIM oc’s meeting dear Johan

Although it did turn into Freckle and Johan having a heart to heart because Control and I ended up rping. 

Cordelia was lost. Not literally, but figuratively. She’d fallen asleep in the break room, only to wake up to a man she didn’t recognize standing over her. He had Joey’s voice, but the man in front of her was absolutely not the Joey Drew she knew. He was tall and dark skinned, with hair so dark black it was almost blue, and pink glasses covering eyes that she was quite certain were red. He looked confused by her presence, and she could see some apprehension in his posture and expression. He reminded her a little of her brother if she was being honest. But that was beside the point. She didn’t recognize this man. And, looking around, she found she didn’t recognize the breakroom either. It looked different than the one she was used to.

“Miss?” The tall man’s voice was quiet and polite as she stumbled to her feet, looking frantically around the room. “Do you know where you are?”

“I...This is the studio, isn’t it?” She asked, her heart beginning to race. “This is Joey Drew Studios, right?” She was starting to hyperventilate a little. This wasn’t the studio she was familiar with. She was certain of it now. It had a similar layout, but the little details were different. The dartboard Joey had put in was gone. Recently some of the other employees had started putting a crude drawing of Joey up to throw darts at. It had been there when she’d fallen asleep. And where was her coffee tray? She’d left it near the coffee maker. Even the coffee maker was different. But there were still Bendy cutouts around the room and a punch station in the corner.

“This...Where am I?” She looked back at the tall man. “This isn’t the studio. This isn’t my studio!” Her voice got higher as her panic increased. 

“Why don’t you come with me?” The tall man suggested. There was a tenderness in his voice that she’d never heard in her own Joey’s voice. He had such sad eyes. Eyes like hers. Eyes like her brother’s. She was calmed a bit by his presence. However, her anxiety remained at a low hum. 

“I’ll get you some tea.” The tall man gestured for her to follow him.

“I-I don’t want to be a bother.” She mumbled, feeling her cheeks beginning to warm. God, she felt stupid. This was probably his studio. She was a trespasser here. She’d just shown up and had a panic attack. 

“It’s no trouble.” The man assured her, stopping at the top of the stairs. “Please.” She hesitated, playing with the hem of her skirt.

“Thank you.” She said, stopping next to him.

“You’re welcome.” He gave her a soft smile. 

He led her out of the break room and through the studio halls. Cordelia tried to keep as close to him as she could while still observing the studio and noting the differences between this one and the one she was used to. It was pretty early, judging from the clocks, which explained the lack of other employees. Although she did see a few milling about, the man kept her out of their sight. She knew why he was doing it, he couldn’t have people finding out that she was from a different dimension, but it still hurt for some reason. As though she was doing something wrong. She was being silly. She knew that. 

The man took her to what she assumed was his living area. He gestured for her to sit down on the couch, ducking into the kitchen. 

“What type of tea do you like?” He asked. 

“O-Oh, you don’t need to make tea.” She got up, lingering nervously in the doorway to the kitchen. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re a guest.” He didn’t even glance back at her, already getting out some teabags. “It would be rude of me not to give you something.”

“Well...Okay.” She didn’t particularly want to argue with him, so she went back and sat down on the couch, playing with her skirt again. She hadn’t had time to go home and change before falling asleep, so her clothes were still rather dirty. Her blouse still felt a little damp from sweat and there were ink stains on her sleeves and skirt. 

It was a few minutes before the man returned with two cups of tea. He set one down in front of her before sitting on a chair nearby. 

“I hope you don’t mind chamomile.” He said. “It was all I had.”

“No no, it’s fine.” She smiled, picking up the cup and inhaling deeply. “I like chamomile.”

“Oh, good.” He brightened. “Would you like some honey?”

“Yes, please.”

He got up once more to retrieve some honey for her. She thanked him quietly once he returned, stirring the honey into her tea. She was feeling much calmer now, which was probably the point. 

“Thank you.” She said as she sipped at her tea. “The tea is very good.”

“You’re welcome.” He replied, holding his own cup in his lap. “I’m glad you like it.”

They lapsed into silence for a bit, just drinking their tea. Cordelia had never been all that good at talking to people she didn’t know. She was also extra nervous because she’d shown up in this man’s studio and she didn’t know how she’d gotten there. She was definitely trespassing and being a nuisance, two things she hated doing. She started to shift uncomfortably, unsure of what to do. She didn’t like sitting here like this, not saying anything. She looked back at the man. He was sipping at his tea, seemingly watching her out of the corner of his eye. He had such sad eyes. She couldn’t imagine what he’d been through to make his eyes so sad.

“You have sad eyes.” She suddenly blurted out. Immediately, she slapped her hand over her mouth, cursing her impulsivity. The man’s smile faded a bit but immediately popped back up. 

“It’s just the pink glasses that make a contrast.” He laughed, tapping the glasses. She could tell he was deflecting though. Almost immediately, she reached out and touched his hand. 

“It’s okay to be sad, you know,” She said, smiling gently. “I’m sad a lot too. You don’t have to bottle up your feelings.” 

“I’m fine, Miss. No need for you to worry.” He quickly withdrew his hand, setting it in his lap. There was a change in his eyes. She could see his walls going up, his posture stiffening. He was withdrawing. 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” She put her hands up. “I shouldn’t have overstepped your boundaries like that.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry.” He insisted, laughing nervously. “You must think I’m a terrible host.”

“But I overstepped your boundaries.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m being an awful host.”

The next few minutes were spent in a cycle of apologizing. Each of them was getting progressively more upset. Johan was nervous, not understanding why this girl was apologizing to him. Surely it was his fault. Cordelia was just plain upset. She had an ingrained need to be liked and to not upset people and she was certain she’d upset this man. The more she apologized, though, the more confused Johan became. 

Finally, Cordelia stopped.

“Let’s, um, let’s start over.” She suggested, sticking out her hand. “My name is Cordelia Bell.” He fumbled for a moment, being that he was left-handed, but he managed to shake her hand. 

“Joey Drew.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Drew.” She gave him a big smile. She’d already sort of figured out that this man was another Joey from the sign above the office and his voice. But still, it wouldn’t do to be impolite. He smiled back awkwardly.

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, both unsure what to say or how to proceed with this situation. 

“I should probably find a way home.” Cordelia finally said. 

"I’d be happy to help in any way I can.” The other Joey collected the teacups, taking them to the kitchen before returning to her in the living room.

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” She said. 

“Alright.” The other Joey pulled out a strange machine she didn’t recognize, setting it on the table. “Tell me about your Joey.”

Cordelia inhaled through her teeth. “Well, um, he’s a little taller than me. More than a little taller really. He’s probably average height I guess. He’s got dark hair, about the same length as mine actually. He’s white and kind of skinny. He usually wears dress pants, a dress shirt, grey vest, red bowtie.” She paused for a moment, then her eyes lit up. “Oh! And he’s got a ton of freckles!”

The other Joey stared at her for a moment. He blinked. He took off his glasses.

“And you have no idea how you got here?”

“I’m sorry, but I really don’t.” She nodded. “I was running around all night before I fell asleep in the break room. We had a big deadline to meet and everyone was pretty stressed.”

“Did you see your Joey before you fell asleep?” He asked. 

“Yeah. I dropped off some papers before I went to the break room.” She replied. “He was hunched over some book muttering to himself. I don’t think he really noticed me.” The other Joey shrugged a bit. 

“Let him know JR would like a word.” He said before pressing some buttons on his machine. What appeared to be a door made of light appeared in front of them. Cordelia blinked, getting up and walking over to it. She’d never seen anything quite like this before. 

“Um, thank you.” She turned back to the other Joey, curtseying awkwardly. “I’m sorry again for intruding. I’ll tell him what you said.” Then she stepped through. She found herself right outside Joey’s office. Her Joey’s office. She breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Miss Bell!” She looked up to see Grant coming toward her. “There you are! Mr. Lawrence has been looking everywhere for you!” 

“Sorry, Mr. Cohen.” She said. “I’ll be right there.”

She was kept busy for the next few hours, darting around delivering papers and coffee. But she did eventually make her way back to her Joey’s office. He looked about as cranky as he had the last time she’d seen him. There were dark circles under his eyes and he had a large cup of coffee. 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Drew.” She said brightly. Joey gave her a vague grunt of acknowledgment, taking a big swig of his coffee. Cordelia sighed, putting the papers from Sammy on his desk. 

“I met a man this morning who had a message he wanted to me to give to you.” 

“If it’s the man from the church group, tell him I think he knows where he can put his pamphlet,” Joey allowed himself a smug smile. 

“No, he wasn’t from any church group,” Cordelia said. “He said to tell you JR would like a word.” Joey inhaled sharply, which led to a coughing fit as he’d inhaled some coffee.

“Mr. Drew! Are you alright?” Cordelia moved to go around the desk, but Joey put up a hand. 

“I’m fine.” He gasped out between coughs. He’d gone paler than usual.

“Are you sure?” She asked, brow knitted with worry.

“I’m sure.” Joey nodded. “You should get back to work now. Sammy’s probably looking for you.”

“Yes, sir.” Cordelia collected the papers left out for Sammy and departed, still worried.

.

An hour later, the Joey Drew colloquially known as Freckle was stepping into the universe of Johan Ramirez. 

“Do you want to talk?” Johan asked as Freckle entered the room. 

“No, I don't want to talk.” Freckle snapped. “What the Hell did that mean?!” Johan looked Freckle over. He could immediately tell the other man hadn’t slept in a bit, judging from the dark circles under his eyes. He stood up, crossing the room and putting his hands on Freckle’s shoulders. 

“You need to rest.” He said, gently guiding Freckle to the couch. 

“I do not!” Freckle protested, sounding very much like a petulant child. He tried to fight it, but Johan did eventually get him to lay down and sleep for a bit. Johan went and prepared some hot chocolate, setting it out for when Freckle awoke before snuggling up next to the smaller man.

Once Freckle had awoken, Johan asked again if he wanted to talk. He wanted to know what was wrong. 

“It’s...been a rough week,” Freckle admitted. “Bertie and I have been fighting like cats and dogs, Grant says the studio is hemorrhaging money.” He sighed heavily, shoulders shaking. “I thought...Maybe if I could open up some portals I could get some advice from other Joey’s. But...I guess I messed up since I was tired. I didn’t think Miss Bell would get caught up in it.” Johan, head resting on Freckle’s chest, was silent. 

“My honest advice?” He finally said. “Stop. It’s hard, but...give in. It’s okay to admit defeat, and you can rise again at a better opportunity." Freckle also went quiet. For a moment, it seemed like he might consider Johan’s words. Then his face twisted and he stood up, pushing Johan off of him. 

“You’re just like everyone else.” He snapped. “You don't think I can do it. Well I can! I'll show you! I'll show all of you!" He tried to storm out, but Johan grabbed him by the wrist.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you can do it,” he said. “I’m just saying you should take a break.”

“Let me go!” Freckle tried to pull away again. Johan pulled him closer, enfolding Freckle’s hand in his. 

“Please, think about it.” His voice was soft and gentle. Slowly, Freckle’s anger began to ebb. He got very quiet, staring at Johan’s hand. 

“I have to be able to do this.” He whispered. “I have to succeed.” His voice broke a little. He took a deep breath, willing the tears to go away. He couldn’t be weak. He had to be able to do this. 

“I believe in you,” Johan said. “But you should take a breath and look at the big picture.” Freckle didn’t say anything for a long time, just staring at Johan’s hands. 

“I don’t know how.” He’d never been good at looking at the big picture. Esther had always teased him about how single-minded he could be, never quite thinking through the consequences of his plans. All he ever thought about was the end goal. 

Johan followed Freckle’s gaze down to his own hands, wondering if the other man was staring at the numerous scars crisscrossing the skin. He tapped a few with his free hand, saying, “These who it’s okay to start over. To take a break. To Change.”

“I think I’m in too deep.” Freckle replied, running his thumbs over Johan’s scars. Johan looked him up and down, sighing softly. He enfolded Freckle in a hug, gently patting his back. 

“It’s okay.” He murmured. Freckle practically melted into Johan’s arms, letting out an instinctual sob. He clung to the taller man, taking deep breaths to will himself not to cry. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t. 

It was a few minutes before he finally pulled away. He muttered some words of thanks to Johan and departed back to his own studio through a portal. Johan turned his gaze to someone that no one else could see, frowning a little. He sighed. 

"He's not gonna listen, is he?"

He will. Eventually. A young woman’s voice replied. Only Johan could hear it at this point. 

"In what, thirty years? When it's all done and over?" Johan went over to his couch, laying down with his legs hanging off the edge. 

It's hard to change his mind. It's the way Joey's are

"Point taken."

But he will learn. There will be a happy ending

"Sure."

There will be. For him, at least. You, I have no control over

"Wonderful."

"Is there anything else I can help you with, your majesty?"

No, but thank you for your help. I hope you find your happy ending

He got quiet and turned to face the cushions of the couch, curling up. 

Goodbye Johan

"...Au revoir." Then the presence was gone and he was alone. 

[transtech-zine]

Page 04:

CHARACTER BIOS

Cheetor – Supreme Commander

Not that long ago, Cheetor was an impulsive, speed-obsessed punk.  Then he was forced to step up as a squad leader during the Battle of the Sparks.  Now, for what he feels was merely being in the right place at the right time, Cheetor must face his most challenging role yet: leader of Cybertron.  He doesn’t doubt that he’s still the fastest cat on two or four wheels; it’s the responsibility of running a planet that weighs heavy on his shoulders.  After all, why should he and his team lead Cybertron just because they were the ones to liberate it?

Optimus Prime senses great potential in Cheetor, and has taken him on as a mentee – tutelage for which Cheetor is grateful.  While he chafes when Optimus oversteps his bounds and starts giving his team orders, on some level he’d like to be that cocksure rookie again.

Under Optimus, Cheetor has honed his Transcendence ability.  He no longer needs to dream to see a prophetic vision of the future; now his Transcendence allows him a flash of foresight.  Combined with his super speed, this makes Cheetor a dangerous and evasive adversary in any combat situation.

Optimus Prime – Mentor

The legendary leader of the Autobots.  Once, he singlehandedly ended the Great War by trapping himself and Decepticon High Command in the Millennia Dome, ensuring they would be suspended in time for all eternity… barring accidents.  Now, Optimus Prime finds himself on an unfamiliar Cybertron, surrounded by new faces and old enemies.  Allying himself with Cheetor’s squad of former Maximals, Optimus is committed to ensuring that Megatron’s forces do not shatter the peace that he has fought so long to establish.

After initial teething troubles, Optimus Prime has stepped out of the spotlight and into an advisory role, counselling Cheetor and the younger Autobots.  In this capacity, Optimus is a veritable fount of wisdom, with four million years’ worth of battle experience under his belt.  However, his charges sometimes find that his insight is more applicable to times of all-out warfare rather than the relative peace of Cybertropolis.

When called upon to battle, Optimus Prime is a force to be reckoned with.  Upgrades during the Great War have maxed out his abilities, giving him above average strength, speed, and firepower.  His Transcendence allows him to manifest hard light energy weapons, including his signature axe.

Transcendence

The Battle for the Sparks was the Maximals’ darkest hour.  Optimus Primal and his team had managed to seize control of the Grand Mal, the Vehicon Megatron’s stronghold, and with it the lost sparks of every civilian on Cybertron.  But they were outnumbered and outgunned, besieged by the Vehicons from all angles.  Primal retreated to the sparks’ chamber, where the spiritualist beseeched the Oracle – the supercomputer at the heart of Cybertron – to grant him the wisdom and strength needed to defeat Megatron and bring balance to Cybertron.  Speaking as one, the captive sparks granted the Maximals phenomenally boosted power and speed.  For a time, this allowed them to have the upper hand over their Vehicon enemies, but their newfound abilities faded when Megatron cut their connection to the Oracle.

However, part of the Oracle’s power still lingers within Cheetor’s team, beginning to manifest in ways they cannot control.  Optimus Prime recognises the effects; the ancient hero was similarly touched by the Oracle during the final phase of the Autobots’ war with the Decepticons.  Under Optimus Prime’s tutelage, each of the former Maximals can begin to harness that power and channel it into a unique special ability.

I wanted to bring some of Beast Machines’ sense of graphic design to the page layouts in this zine.  The font used for the headers is Neuropolitical, a wide font that screams 90s graphic design.  Rounded rectangles are used in this section, as they are on Beast Machines’s cardbacks.  The dotted and dashed lines in later pages are also from BM toy packages.

We start with a potted history of Cheetor.  Following Beast Machines’ finale, which feels like a definitive ending, the question is, what happens next?  The answer is: Cheetor gets anxiety.  It’s easy to write a story where the hero wins and becomes the king of the land, but to me there’s always the lingering doubt that swashbuckling heroism is transferable experience to governing.  Cheetor’s impostor syndrome is deliberately evocative of the G1 cartoon’s version of Rodimus Prime, including an episode where he gets to be young and reckless again.

There isn’t much of a close-up look at Cheetor’s head in extant Transtech concepts.  Notoriously, pictures of his toy prototype lack his finished robot mode.  As I’d intended to digibash said toy back into existence, I had to pick a pre-existing head to model his appearance on, so I chose his relatively obscure Titanium Series toy.  It’s not made clear in the credits, but I drew all the character profile art.

With Cheetor in the main hero role, Optimus Prime has to become a mentor.  This is patterned after the Robots in Disguise 2015 cartoon, where Optimus returns to life and finds himself at odds with Bumblebee’s leadership.

“Barring accidents” is a Doctor Who quote, for some reason.

At once stage I was committed to referring to the character as “Optimus Prime”, never “Optimus” nor “Prime” alone.  I’m glad I dropped that.

Look at me, retconning both Cheetor’s prophetic dreams and Optimus’ energo-axe into manifestations of the same ability.  It’s like poetry, it rhymes.

When my brother proofread an earlier draft of this zine, he fed back that Transcendence was quickly glossed over in the overview without ever being clearly explained what it was and who could use it.  I added this additional section in here; while not strictly a character bio, it does allow me a consistent three profiles per page.

EDIT: Just over a year later, the fan-run unofficial continuation of Ask Vector Prime here on tumblr would retcon Transcendence as a variant of Masterforce’s Chōkon Power, giving it the name Kijūchōkon, roughly meaning “Machine Beast Super Soul Power”.  Transtech is shonen now

[snowbellewells]

“Still Breathing”

Whumptober Prompts 2018 ///  Day #4: “No Stop!”

Okay, since I signed up for the OuaT Winter Whump event in November, I’m trying to get the juices flowing - especially since I have not written tons of fic in this genre yet.  I figured if I attempted some of the Whump-tober Prompts that I’ve seen floating around, that might serve as good practice.  This is more mental/emotional whump (hopefully it qualifies), set in the season six finale and changing events just a bit in one place, if only slightly, but mainly just allowing us to see and feel it from Killian’s point of view. It’s just what came to my mind when I read the prompt.  I’m not really sure who to tag, so maybe just a few folks.  Let me know if you’d like to be added when I try others over the next days…

Tagging: @kmomof4 @spartanguard @hollyethecurious @jennjenn615 @winterbaby89 @laschatzi @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @therooksshiningknight

“Still Breathing”

By: @snowbellewells

“Emma, wait Love!” the desperate cry was out of his mouth, slipping past his lips even before he’d fully realized the thought.  Already moving forward, the impulse again automatic, to be at her side when she faced any foe, he was brought up short by Dave’s arm flung out to block him and fought against his father-in-law blindly, unable to comprehend the action.

“No, stop!” he pled vainly, his voice wheedling in a way he hated; the weakness for a second reminding him of a 10-year-old on a ship, afraid of the dark and waking up to find the lantern snuffed out and his father gone, he and his brother left to be buffeted by the cruel hands of Fate. He would not be the victim of some prophesied vision, some possible future plan beyond his control, not when his Swan would pay the price to see it realized. He couldn’t understand why any of them were willing to let her take this risk, why she herself would do so after the doubts and tremors and weeks haunted by the way she had seen this face-off end. Still, no matter how he threw himself against the Prince’s larger, bulkier frame, the other man wouldn’t let him past.  Murmuring some drivel about “letting her achieve her destiny” and “our only hope” and “everyone’s best chance”, Killian very nearly hauled off to punch the bloody royal on the nose, pleading in last ditch abandon, “Swan, You don’t have to do this!”

He understood that Emma was the Savior - of the town, of Happy Endings, of her family, and of the realm.  Still she was also his personal savior and True Love.  Though she was a hero through and through, and would give all she had for those she loved, Killian could not stand by and watch her give her very life. He wouldn’t survive it - not this time.  Broken in a way he never had been before, impossible to recover from, he would shatter into a thousand pieces if she were gone.  There simply had to be another way...if he could only get to her.

However, to his abject horror, right before his eyes, Emma tossed her sword aside, facing the hooded figure weaponless with a brave resolve he thrilled to see, even as his mouth went dry in terror. She spread her arms wide, inviting the strike she knew was coming, and he couldn’t hold back the cry of agony that escaped him unbidden.  He felt the plunging strike to her gut that they had dreaded together for months now as if it were sinking into his own skin and sinew.  He would throw himself in front of her before the blade, if only he could get past her bloody father still holding him back.

The hooded figure struck hard and fast; the last words his love offered in challenge not even registering as Killian was felled by the nightmarish sight before him.  Light burst from the point of impact - white, blinding, and enveloping Emma, her attacker, and the entire area around them.  Until the blaze began to dim, he couldn’t see what had become of his wife.  Sparks drifted up, and then slowly Main Street returned to the darkness of night, lit only by streetlights. Thankfully, the hooded figure was gone, presumably blasted from existence for all he knew or cared, but Emma lay prone on the street before them, lifeless and still.

Dave’s muscular arms finally released him, as the prince himself slumped in stunned disbelief, and without that steadying force, Killian crumbled to the pavement on his knees.  His heart seized in his chest - ancient, gnarled, and scarred, he knew it would now finally cease to beat, its reason for doing so gone.  Only an hour married, he had already lost her, failed her, proven himself the worst kind of husband who could not even keep his wife by his side.

The ring on his hand, placed there so recently in the most exquisitely joyful moment he had ever experienced, now seemed to cut into his flesh, burning and mocking him with how fragile and fleeting their perfect moment had been.

He half-staggered and half-crawled to her side, not sure how he still drew breath, where he gathered her awkwardly in his arms, her upper body resting across his lap, and he stared tearfully down into her motionless face, his single, shaking hand brushing flyaway strands of her golden hair off her cheeks and neck, praying for some sign of life. ‘Please, Love, please, come back to me…’ his mind echoed hollowly, hopeless of any such chance but unable to fathom survival without her.

He was unconsciously almost rocking with her in his arms when Henry dropped down beside them.  The brave lad met his eyes for a second, pleading and a dauntless sort of faith in his expression that Killian had not possessed since he was a young lieutenant embarking on a hero’s quest with his brother long ago. Hating to see the young boy he had come to love as his own lose that same optimism he had once held, Killian still nodded and made room for the young man to draw near his mother, to bend over her and press a kiss to her forehead. The rainbow ripple of magic light that poured outward from the point of contact brought Emma gasping to back them again, green eyes blinking in confused wakefulness and jolting his heart’s beat back into rhythm.  

She found his gaze unerringly, a small, sad little smile that knew what he had just suffered on her lips. It seemed he would keep breathing yet a while longer.

[imagine-mix-fandoms]

Exposed

For @that-was-not-supposed-to-happen Favourite Things Writing Challenge

Pairing: In this one shot will only see Arthur x Reader first, the rest will follow suit

Words: 1831

Warning: Mild language usage

Fandom: Peaky Blinders x Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

Prompt: Supernatural (Witches)

A/N: i hope i can do more of this crossover. i actually have a few written for these two

-

Being both a Blinder (or part of it) and a witch trying to lay low was not easy. Erika and her siblings, twin Kenny and Toshi, and Emi were raised in Small Heath, but went to Hogwarts. At first, they kept the magic from their family friend – the Shelby. The patriarch, Erika’s dad, Dr Mikael James had a great strategy until his impulsive son, Toshi accidentally cast a spell.

Erika, despite being a Slytherin, had a hard time to express herself. This was due to the fact, being the first born and after her mother was murdered, she was busy to take care of her siblings than herself to the point she didn’t really care much of her feelings. She had loved Tommy since they knew as children, but she was afraid of what he would think about her magical side.

Kenny was the brain in the family and Tommy often relied on his strategies. A Ravenclaw, Kenny would always devise more than two plans to ensure everything went smoothly. In his mind, he wanted everyone, even his enemies, to get home safe and sound. Too many blood has been shed for another man’s selfishness. There are times Kenny disagreed with Tommy, but he made a point to not argue much with the Alpha Shelby. Even a genius, Kenny will never win with Tommy.

Toshi, on the other hand, was the impulsive twin. True, he was a Gryffindor – brave and courageous, but there were times when his two older siblings wished he had used his head more often. Being the muscles, he would often resort to his brute strength. If anyone as much as saying shit about his family or the Shelbys, they would find themselves beneath Toshi’s boots.

Emi, the youngest, was the kind and caring sibling – like a true Hufflepuff. She always wanted to be a nurse and would often nurse the boys, especially Arthur. She and Arthur were close, even before the war. When he returned to her, broken, Emi was saddened, but was determined to get Arthur back to his feet. Even when Arthur became more volatile, Emi stayed strong for the man she loved.

One day, Emi and Ada Shelby headed out to town for girls’ day out. Erika was busy at The Garrison and their father at the hospital. Kenny was with Tommy that day while Toshi was shadowing the girls as per Tommy’s order. Suddenly, the girls were no longer in his sight.

After searching, he heard a familiar scream. Toshi ran towards the sound to an alley. The girls were cornered and about to be assaulted. Toshi didn’t think it through and immediately drew his wand and cast the stunning spell. Ada was awed while Emi was concerned.

As the spell emitted, Erika and Kenny, who were at the betting house with the rest of the Shelby, sensed the spell. Tommy looked at them, curiously.

“Toshi”, Kenny muttered before running out and followed by Erika and the rest of the Shelby.

They didn’t run that far when the girls came home with Toshi behind them, head bowed down. He fucked up badly this time. It wouldn’t be long before the Ministry of Magic will find out about it. Ada confronted Toshi immediately after everyone went into the betting shop.

“What the fuck was that?! What are you, a witch or something?!”, Ada yelled.

Toshi was gripping his wand tightly before laying it down on the table. Kenny, for the first time, was at lost on what to do. So, he turned to Erika for guidance. Suddenly, Mikael burst through the door. He must’ve felt it too.

“Why, son? Why didn’t you think it through?”, said Mikael.

“I’m sorry father. I didn’t have much choice. Y’know me, I’m not like Ken”, said Toshi.

“Well, sooner or later, we gotta explain to them, father”, said Erika.

“Explain what?”, asked Tommy.

Everyone laid out their wand on the table, even Emi as reluctant as she was. “We’re magical people, Tommy. Wizards, warlocks, witches; whatever you wanna call it. That’s who we are”, said Mikael.

“Why didn’t you say it from the start?”, asked Polly.

“You must understand, Pol, it’s not easy to explain to people like you – non-magical people. It is stated in the statute, clause 73 that each wizarding governing body will be responsible for the concealment, care and control of all magical beasts, beings, and spirits dwelling within its territory’s borders. Should any such creature cause harm to, or draw the notice of, the Muggle community, that nation’s wizarding governing body will be subject to discipline by the International Confederation of Wizards”, said Kenny.

“Short of it?”, said Polly.

“We will receive disciplinary action soon enough”, said Mikael, sighing as he feared for what they might do to his son.

“They can’t send him away! It was my fault! I told Ada to sneak out with me!! I should’ve told Ken or Tommy that we’re going out”, said Emi.

“S’alright, Em, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, aye?”, said Toshi.

“What will happen to him?”, asked John.

On cue, a knock came to the door. Kenny walked and let the Ministry of Magic himself, Archer Evermonde in. Kenny returned to stand by his family’s side.

“James”, Minister Evermonde greeted Mikael.

“Evermonde”, Mikael replied with a curtsey nod.

“I understand your boy here is quite the impulsive type, even when Professor Dumbledore tried to dissuade me from coming here”, said Evermonde. As he finished his words, Emi stood in front of Toshi, followed by Arthur and John.

“Please, it was an accident. It was my fault”, said Emi.

“But he was the one who casted the spell, in front of a muggle no less”, said Evermonde.

“He was trying to protect his sister and ours”, said Arthur. Evermonde assessed his surroundings and the occupants who weren’t the James’s.

“Do these Muggles know what you are?”, asked Evermonde.

“I told them the basic”, said Mikael, earning a chuckle from Evermonde.

“You do understand what will happen if you break that statute, don’t you Dr James?”, asked Evermonde.

This time, Tommy stepped in front, standing tall and almighty as he always did. “No, we certainly do not understand. You can try, sir, but I will not allow you to hurt my family”, he said.

“He has broken a law, Mr. Shelby”, said Evermonde, catching the Shelbys’ by surprise. “I know all about you Peaky Blinders. I’m surprised you let your children mingle with these…, Muggles”, said Evermonde again.

“I’m sure we can come up with some arrangements, sir”, said Kenny, already trying to devise a plan to get his twin out.

“No! I’m the one responsible, I should receive my just punishment. You’ve always cleaned up my mess, Ken. Let me do this on my own for once”, said Toshi.

“No! It was my fault! Don’t you take him!”, said Emi.

Erika hauled her wand and stood prepare for battle. “Tommy’s right. I won’t let you take him away, minister sir”, she said.

Evermonde sighed. He’s not going to get around these Muggles alright. “I will inform the International Confederation of Wizards that I’ve already solved this problem. I understand you know what to do”, said Evermonde before disapparating from the betting house.

Everyone sat down. Emi refused to let go of her brother and refused to meet Arthur’s eyes. Kenny was sitting in between John and Arthur on the side while on the main table, facing each other – Tommy, Polly, Erika and Mikael.

“Start explaining”, said Tommy.

“We’re magical people, Thomas. We have to keep them a secret, especially after the whole Salem Witch trial fiasco”, said Erika.

“I wanted to tell you, but after my wife died, I couldn’t. Too many was already at risks”, said Mikael.

“The murderer, was he a wizard too?”, asked Polly.

“He was someone close to us – Gellert Grindelwald. I used to be an ambitious young fool, trying to create a revolution to dissolve the statute of secrecy. We triumphed, Thomas and how glorious it was at that time…, but it didn’t last long. Dumbledore’s young sister, Ariana, who had to repress her magic, got caught in the cross-fire. Dumbledore and Grindelwald wanted to press forward and they were stopped by Dumbledore’s brother, Aberforth. Seeing how Ariana needed constant care to stabilize her magic, Grindelwald said she must followed with them. My wife and Aberforth refused to let her go. I took side with them, after finally knew what Grindelwald had planned and tried to stop them from taking her with them. Dumbledore changed side, causing Grindelwald to be angry and cast a spell to torture Aberforth. They duelled and Ariana was killed. I tried to save her, I really did. My wife and I…, we didn’t speak for a few months after Ariana’s death. Polly thought I was cheating on her. I knew Grindelwald had feelings for my wife, that’s why he kept me close and perhaps one day, he would dispose of me as he sees it fit and then, take her as his own”, Mikael explained.

“And when he couldn’t, he killed her”, said Tommy.

“He must’ve caught her by surprised. I was at the hospital and you kids were out playing by the docks that day, remember?”, said Mikael.

“What happens if you stop yourself from using magic?”, asked Arthur.

“You’ll turn just as Ariana had been – an Obscurus. Something dangerous and horrible and deadly. That’s why she needed to be kept in check. That’s the reason why I often fear for my children. I let them use magic in the house, but never outside and until they have learned and understand about the responsibilities of safe magic, only then I allow them to take their wands with them. I was so stupid. If there’s anyone to blame, it has to be me”, said Mikael.

“No, father. Everyone’s action is their own doing”, said Toshi.

“You were young, just as we are now”, said Erika.

“We hope you understand why now it must be kept a secret”, said Mikael.

Emi reluctantly met Arthur’s eyes. Arthur stood up and pulled her in his arms, kissing her hair and held on to her tight, feared of losing the only grace of his life. At this point, he didn’t care. Emi had accepted him…, all of him and his demons. She loved him unconditionally, so why should he think her any different?

“I don’t really care what you are. You are family to me and I’ll cut anyone who dares to harm you lot”, said John. He was close to both Kenny and Toshi and had considered the twin like his real brothers.

“I agree with John. You James have always been for us through thick or thin, especially in France. It would be foolish if we would just let them hurt you like that”, said Tommy.

“Thank you, Tommy”, said Erika, smiling, despite her tears. To Erika, it was a relief, but to Tommy, perhaps…, an advantage.

[sasukeuchiha-eternalmangekyou]

~Curse Mark~

(Part 6) - (Part 7) - (Part 8)

Contents: -Return of the Morning Mist (Sasuke Vs Itachi)

Return of the Morning Mist

“The ritual is over and all is covered in a somber mist. And silence from out of the mist, a shadow emerges. And from out of the shadow, a sharpened fang. It rips the years away and awakens childhood memories of disappointment, anger, and a fateful decision. The wheel of destiny begins to turn.” – Kakashi (Episode 80: The Third Hokage Forever (coming attractions for 81)

I found this interesting. It’s indicating Sasuke’s future struggle, his childhood clashing with the present, and his bestowed choice. A crucial reunion with Itachi is coming which is what ultimately makes him pick sides. The wheel of destiny begins to turn, marking Naruto as a target of the Akatsuki, and Sasuke gripping onto the little stability he has before he comes undone by this confrontation. Naruto was always a factor, but this right here, his brother, is what causes anger and regret to push him to his limits.

“Father and Mother didn’t have to die. It didn’t have to happen. If only I had been strong enough all of them would still be alive. My clan is destroyed.” Throws kunai to break the illusion. “Damn it all.” – Sasuke (Episode 81: Return of the Morning Mist)

Here Sasuke is once again having the same type of ‘nightmare’ he originally experienced when he first acquired the curse mark. I believe that overtime these visions occur even when he’s awake. It’s a tactic the mark uses to constantly remind him of his weaknesses, his faults, and his failures to such a degree that he’s constantly fighting the reminder.

As common knowledge, Sasuke is continuing to feel intimidated by Naruto’s rapid development in strength. He faced and took down opponents that Sasuke could handle, but not fully defeat on his own. He didn’t realize his own power was still continuously increasing, but not in succession due to being a fast learner and quick to master techniques. Next to Naruto, who’s suddenly advancing quickly, he feels like his progress is at halt in comparison. He’s usually the one ahead. Understandably he expects more from himself, weighing his progress against those around him.

This most likely prompts additional liability towards outside sources, but he keeps himself in check. Sasuke might waver from time to time by reason of mental clashes of morality and his goals, yet he’s able to block the hold the curse mark would need to have in order to contaminate his mind more than it already has since the struggle is a psychological fight. Before Itachi’s interference, despite gnawing inadequacy, he can shove aside the desire to use something that harms him.

The lack of information and Sasuke’s issues pertaining to the curse mark are limited at best. There’s restriction based on pretense of usage because the enticing aspect of the influx of power is not clearly given. He’s told simply not to use it, not to fall prey to its influence without fully understanding what purpose it serves. We don’t get an opportunity to witness his struggle with it outside of battles where his dependence falters. The mental/emotional barricades he has to instill to keep himself in check would prove just as difficult. The seal may hold well, but that doesn’t mean his will is always keeping the intrusion of negativity at bay. We know he’s not exactly talented in that department.

“I’ll grant you, we didn’t bring down the village, but let us not forget our other objective. Sasuke. You’ve done it. Your leash is around his neck.” – Kabuto (Episode 81: Return of the Morning Mist)

Orochimaru retorts with a rather sour reply about his arms and losing his jutsu as the price, but the way Kabuto speaks about the matter, they appear to be confident in Sasuke’s eventual betrayal of the village. Orochimaru also mentions if he was able to have Itachi, he wouldn’t have been in the current situation. There was a price in going after Itachi, one he wasn’t willing to gamble. He’d sooner be killed by the Uchiha than escape with only a hand at the cost.

Sasuke’s eventual descend to craving power only begins to increase, become prominent, when he questioning himself instead of taking his training and strength level as what it is. His comparison to Naruto is what sets the thoughts in motion, but what truly causes him to inwardly scold his weaknesses. It’s not fully based on the potential Naruto displays or being unable to protect his friends, but it’s having the core insecurities he keeps buried deep exposed. No matter how old Sasuke was, he’s always combated the need to be strong, to prove himself. It’s instinctual, a habitual survival mechanism he needs to have in order to verify he was meant to be left alive. Otherwise, he’d question why his existence held meaning outside of being a survivor who tries daily to keep going.

After the massacre, Sasuke’s grades in the Academy were kept high, but his cooperation in teamwork and assertiveness dropped to the bottom of the class. He still tussles with thinking it’s alright to grip onto other means of living if it meant relying on others who could be taken from him again and if he could maintain the confidence in himself to face the fear of loss, either to prevent it or move on. His mind is molded perfectly for the curse mark's advantage, which is why his laboring battle against its convenience and sway is such a resilient obstacle to overcome. The amount of will it must take for him to suppress it is immeasurable when control is solely on him alone. Kakashi appeases the idea that Sauske is absolutely fine without interference, but honestly the lack of concern aids little in the effort. He has no one to talk to, express his doubts to, and even if he did, he’d refuse to open up. If his sensei offered, nothing would come of it. Sasuke is rather determined to keep everything he’s dealing with to himself, including an issue this important. Maybe if pressed enough, he’d eventually come around, but not without that added pressure.

All in all, Orochimaru, despite being a bit bitter at the time, is well aware of Sasuke’s gradual compliance to power. It’s a seductive pull for those who desire revenge, which was his main initiative earlier when speaking to Kakashi. At that point though, he’s looking for alternatives to fix/heal his arms by seeking out Tsunade, still wanting to wait for Sasuke to be older and better trained before considering the transference too early on.

I will note, however, that Sasuke didn’t even attempt to use the curse mark against his brother. Perhaps if the fight drew out longer, the inclination would have been there. But since it was concluded in a brief manner, not a single second was given to considering it. Sasuke was brutally beaten after an impulsive attack with the chidori, not bearing in mind that the technique is a jab, a direct and easily stopped jutsu with someone bearing the sharingan and perceptive skills. He acted in rage, not tactic, discernible by the skin flaking off his hand from overpowering the chidori in the first place.

Itachi showed no interest in fighting, let alone speaking to Sasuke, which clearly enraged him. This reunion was about more than just revenge (when originally him racing all that way was to ensure Naruto’s safety) it was about validation. Even if he couldn’t kill his brother, he’d in the very least know where he stood. But found out he was no match. Itachi held nothing back, relentlessly attacking the second Sasuke became defenseless, after breaking his wrist no less. Clearly we all know now that this confrontation was mentally staggering for Itachi, having to harm his little brother, but he still managed to keep his facade, unaware that his tampering caused Sasuke to reconsider and take an alternative path.

Sasuke lost consciousness after being trapped under the Tsukuyomi. This genjutsu placed him under a fake reality of reliving the massacre (something he also had to endure when he was seven to cruelly witness the slaughter of his family). After screaming, he was out of it, placed into the same state Kakashi was after undergoing a different version the same genjutsu. Only Tsunade’s medical expertise could wake him, giving Naruto more purpose in tracking her down with Jiraiya after Guy got Sasuke back to Konoha so he could rest in the hospital until their return.

[bewareofchris]

Triath-anon: exactly, the female characters in sass are just so amazing. I have so many questions about Phyllis? Like, where do I even start? I get that she had a really bad life and that (miscarriages and cheating husband), but why is she so evil to everyone except Altair? Why was she so mean to Federico? What would Lucy have thought of her if they had met? Why did she dominate Altair's life so much that he did not consider his father as a real parent? I could probably go on. (1)

+ If Lucy had met Phyllis, she would have thought the same thing she thought when she hadn’t met her.  Phyllis was basically the devil.  The reverse is not true though, I think Phyllis would have really appreciated Lucy on a few different, important levels: 1. Lucy did not let her parents/her gender determine her position and path in life.  2.  Lucy takes care of Desmond but she’s still the clear dominant half of the relationship, and if either of them needed to have bread-winning jobs, it would be Lucy, not Desmond.  3. Lucy would be/is a good Mother to her child.  (And that is very important to Phyllis.)

there’s more:

+ It is important to remember that all Phyllis wanted was a child.  In regards to why she’s evil to everyone except Altair (and if you consider she purposefully let his Father die after she had already stolen his child from him, you could make the case she was evil to him as well) that’s a bit complicated. 

+  See, Phyllis had older, almost fully grown brothers that died during the flu epidemic.  Those older sons were her Father’s beloved heirs, the ones that were set to inherit the name/family/everything.  When they died, her Father kind of flipped his shit but also was a miserable, old fat man.  He remarried a very young, pretty girl and impregnated her (and she probably enjoyed 0 things about being married to him, except maybe the money) and as he was an old, fat man, he either didn’t or could not try twice.  So he ended up with Phyllis.  Now he didn’t want a female because he needed an heir and he wanted his sons back.

+ I’m not saying Phyllis was hated by her father but he simultaneously prepared her for a life she couldn’t inherit and kept her from learning what she needed to know to inherit said life.  He didn’t educate her about anything important but he kept her with him so she always saw how he handled business.  Being an old, miserable, fat guy he was basically hateful to everyone.  

+ Phyllis was the sole heir to an enormous fortune, she always got everything she wanted.  She even got Calvin, which she shouldn’t have.

+  so lets talk about what kind of pervert Calvin is.  Phyllis fell in love with Calvin on the spot because he was a handsome guy and she was a stupid kid.  And she decided that since she wanted him, she was going to get him.  Now she was an easy target because she was LITERALLY A CHILD and Calvin wanted her Daddy’s money.  (He even went to war to get it.)  But Calvin is like one step removed from being an actual god-damn pedophile.  

+ It’s not shown in Peach because Mrs. Finch wouldn’t have been there to see it, but Calvin definitely took his time about grooming/reinforcing Phyllis’ childish infatuation with him so he could marry her.  He led her right along to the idea that they would be so happy together, he promised he loved her and since he started doing this WHILE SHE WAS A CHILD, and since he went off to war and almost died and came home a war hero (to pick up grooming her where he left off), Phyllis was entirely 100% stupidly devoted to him.  She had to have him.

+  Calvin, however, was down to fuck whatever teenage lady he could get his hands on.  He was fucking around on Phyllis long before he started knocking women up.  In fact, he probably has a lot of children scattered across the globe, just check the cities he was in for traumatized/conned teenager ladies and you’ll find his children. 

+ Fuck Calvin

+ Back to Phyllis, remembering that all she wanted was a child, and remembering she’d just survived a childhood of being raised as an heir apparent with no actual throne to inherit (and no actual education either), and survived motherfucking Calvin, the fact that she keeps having miscarriages and is constantly belittled by having grief over the lost babies by her husband (who she thought loved her) is EXTREMELY DAMAGING.

+ In fact, Phyllis figured out what kind of thing Calvin was but she protected him because she’d been raised around the idea that he was hers and she was his.  This could have carried on indefinitely if his love children hadn’t shown up.

+ because our pal, Phyllis is entirely made up of sheer power of will.  Phyllis had never been told she couldn’t have something she wanted and she had never wanted something she didn’t get (except a child).  Unlike Altair who ended up being a rather fragile ego sort of man, Phyllis really was that kind of person that is 100% capable and 100% determined and nobody saw that about her except Mrs. Finch and those two rabid lawyers, Walters and Ferdinand.

+  So, Phyllis figures out she’d been had, (in a lot of ways) and cannot rationalize the things that Calvin had done/continued to do any longer.  She had to deal with the idea that she’d been conned, used and allowed it to happen to others.  This was a pivotal moment in Phyllis life because she could have either become a great force of good in the world: full of kindness and giving, taking the shit lot she drew but overcoming it and making sure it didn’t happen to others.

+  ok, yes but Phyllis was furious and she was powerless.  From the very first moment she finally decided she couldn’t sit quietly and watch these things happen until the day she died, Phyllis could not tolerate any form of weakness in anyone for any reason.  Not herself, not the children, not anyone.  For an itemized list of why she hates everyone:

1. William Miles: he was a whiny, troublesome child that looked like his father.  He had a child just because he heard he’d get money out of it.  (AND THAT USELESS MOTHERFUCKER THEN HURT HIS SON)1a. anyone who supported/sided with William over Desmond.  This one is obvious.  Anyone who sides against the welfare of a child basically deserves to die (in Phyllis’ very skewed, biased opinion).2. Mama Maria: she was a leech, and she was a (obnoxiously) strict Mother.3. Edward’s Mother (who has a name now): impulse control issues/no self-esteem.4. Edward: he loved his mother, and I know that seems like a stupid reason but Edward is the only child besides ALtair that would have given Phyllis what she wanted.  Except Edward loved his Mother despite the fact that she abused/neglected him and Phyllis couldn’t have ever truly had him as her child.  He already had a Mother.5.  Federico: well, he’s a shit.  He was an insolent child that was raised to put a smile on his face but he bullied his brother, he tattled on people and he thought he was better than everyone around him.  Federico took a beating when he was owed one though, and Phyllis did admire that about him.  

+  (I mean, Phyllis didn’t like anyone, but the time she got Altair I don’t think she was capable of empathy or attachment.  I think she loved Altair as best she could but that doesn’t mean it would have counted as love by any other person’s definition.)

+  Now, Altair’s unique position made him perfect for Phyllis.  He had no Mother.  This was vastly more important than any other factor in how he ended up being Phyllis’ child.  She also did like Maud; (she genuinely did like Maud, enough to try to send her away to protect her.)  He did have a biological father standing around looking all shell-shocked and ill-prepared.  Since Phyllis had, at that time, faced off against all kinds of megalomaniacs and slapped dictators in the face and taken over her own company, and developed a habit of regularly belittling and psychologically torturing her husband (who she arguably kept as a prisoner for the last, long years of his life) taking care of one man caught in the throes of very sudden grief was no big.  

+  I mean, Phyllis probably should have just hired a dude to shank Omar but then the adoption process might have been a little bit muddied.

+  The main point here is, Phyllis spent her entire life wanting a child.  She had a lot of them and none of the worked for her because every single child that she took in/tried to care for ALREADY HAD A MOTHER.  Enter Altair, a perfect infant, with absolutely no mother to speak of.

+ Omar never stood a chance.  If he hadn’t died of natural causes, Phyllis probably would have actively killed or deported him.  He was never even a slight thought.  As to why he allowed it, he probably wasn’t given a choice.  Or his choice was, at best, to go along or lose all connection with his child.  For that matter, since Phyllis was always nice to and nice around Maud, Altair’s own mother probably asked Omar to trust Phyllis.

+ THINK ABOUT THAT ONE A MINUTE.

+ But Altair genuinely loved his Grandmother.  And she tried to be fair, as far as she was capable of being at that point in her life, and the only way she could do that was to make sure he didn’t call her Mother.  I mean she let his Dad die, but she preserved the idea that his (deceased) Mother deserved his love and respect.

+  seriously, fuck Calvin.