#Implied Volatility and Options

[signode-blog]

Effective Trading Strategies Using Straddle Option Trading Strategy

Introduction to Straddle Option Trading Strategy The Straddle Option Trading Strategy is a versatile approach used by traders to capitalize on significant price movements in the market, regardless of the direction. This strategy involves purchasing both a call option and a put option on the same underlying asset, with the same strike price and expiration date. The primary goal of a straddle is…

[apollodarling-writes]

HUNTING GAMES

cws : dubcon, somnophilia, creampie, levi leaves the game, murder, code-breaking, i went over the word limit a little bit, implied manipulation and threats, dating sim! levi, levi gets a bit ummm sadistic?? at the end, college! reader, im still not happy with it but its been so long since ive updated, if i missed anything please let me know.

commissioned by anonymous.

MDNI.

there was a new otome game that had been all the rage recently. characterized by its cutesy, college-life approach, lurking beneath each syrupy-sweet word and blossoming friendship was a sinister undertone. the objective of the game was to achieve the best possible ending for the route you choose, however each love interest was desperate for your love, making said objective increasingly unattainable the further the plot progressed. you’d downloaded the game when your friend had shown you one of their favorite love interests, finding yourself hooked on the stoic culinary arts major, levi ackerman.

levi ackerman was the first route you’d ever chosen. although, in the beginning, he wasn’t too keen on raising your intimacy level. while looking at forums online, you realized that was just how he was. levi was harder to please, and by far one of the most dangerous and volatile love interests in the game. he wasn’t afraid to annihilate any other character to get what he wanted, and knew how to cover his tracks. it was hard to tell when he was on the cusp of snapping, what he liked and disliked, and where he was when he wasn’t pestering you about something trivial.

once you finally manage to get your intimacy level up to the point where his obsessive tendencies begin to show, his personality does a 180… with you at least. he’s more affectionate, gives you gifts for your daily check in — most of it being food he’s cooked just for you, and you find that he’s easier to fluster, stumbling over his words and a faint blush spreading across the apples of his cheeks. levi is still the same when he interacts with npcs, maybe a bit more on the protective and stand-off ish side when youre around. with love interests, however, levi is more hostile than ever.

you’d failed levi’s route many, many times, and had finally just achieved the good ending when you’d stumbled across something regarding a secret route of his. naturally, you wanted to see it to completion, but for some reason it just kept going. growing tired of this secret route, you chose to switch to another love interest.

this love interest in particular was very sweet, docile almost. armin seemed harmless enough, and you found that you enjoyed this route more than you had levi’s. although, after a little while, you noticed some easter eggs hidden in the back that made you feel a bit uneasy. there was a silhouette in the background of each interaction, watching everything play out, as well as a few npcs that seemed to disappear or avoid you altogether. the more you played, the more uneasy and afraid armin looked.

you noticed that armin’s eyes were often glancing around, his sentences shorter when the silhouette was more prevalent, and on a few occasions, he’d outright ignored you. once, you’d found him beaten and bloody in an alleyway outside of the boy’s dormitories, appearing half-conscious and you’d chosen the option to patch him up. after that, your intimacy levels skyrocketed and he was back to normal.

just before the two of you exchanged a kiss during one of the date events, the screen glitched and suddenly armin laid in a pool of his own blood. armin’s face became pixelated, which was unusual for this game since it was known for its graphics. was this part of the game? your heart skipped a beat, gooseflesh rising on your arms as levi entered the place armin was just moments before.

levi’s appearance glitched in places, the blood spatter on his face seeming to drip and become more realistic. that… wasnt supposed to happen. did the game have a bug? you think you see levi’s brow twitch, his lips tugging into a frown, but you cant be sure.

“[name]… why did you leave me?” levi is uncharacteristically upset with you, his face scrunched with what seems to be a mixture of frustration and hurt. “i thought you loved me.”

you knit your brows, trying to exit the route; to your horror, youre unable to leave. levi grows increasingly upset the more you click the button, “why are you on his route? can’t you see that youre mine? we’re made for each other!” he shouts, his voicelines glitching in places.

“why can’t i leave the damn route?” you grit out, one hand gripping the hem of your shirt. “what the fuck is going on?”

levi’s face falls, a far away look in his eyes as you are finally able to exit armin’s route. you groan, leaning back in your chair as you thread a hand through your hair. “is this part of levi’s secret route?” you wonder aloud.

after that, you didn’t touch the game for days. you searched forum after forum, site after site, searching for answers. why did levi suddenly appear on armin’s route? surely, it was part of levi’s secret route… right? your gut told you otherwise, but a game character being sentient? that was something that only happened in fanfiction, and certainly not to you.

a week had come and gone before you even thought about touching the game. you were busy with work, college, and still hadn’t found the answers you were looking for. maybe you’d be able to find them in-game… but what if levi kills another love interest? what if they don’t come back when the game resets? what if —

shakily exhaling through your mouth, you release the tension in your shoulders, cracking your fingers as you hover over the next love interest’s route. she was a very bubbly love interest, her smile bright and contagious enough to have one of your own tugging at the corners of your lips as you right-click on hange’s route.

the two of you interacted quite well, your natural dialogue choices furthering your intimacy level. hange was known to be a relatively easy route — not much reading between the lines, or even guesswork. she was very upfront for the most part. you found yourself forgetting about your secret investigation, genuinely losing yourself to the interactions between yourself and hange.

you only started getting suspicious again once you noticed the silhouette in the background once more. hange seemed to notice too, but she was more composed than armin had been. you squint as the silhouette flickers, your pulse thrumming in your throat as you quickly stutter out, “levi, leave hange alone or i’ll never play your route again.”

the silhouette rushes to the screen, stumbling over its words and blubbering about how it just loves you so much and can’t live without you! the anonymity fades, leaving levi in its place, and you realize that levi was more dangerous than you’d initially thought. hange is quick to take her leave once she notices the look in levi’s eyes, and you attempt to as well. levi’s anger flares up once more at the sight of your cursor clicking the exit game button.

“[first name] [last name], stop trying to leave me. why don’t you want me anymore? you can’t make me love you and then leave. you’re so cruel.” levi’s digits grip his collar, tugging it away from his throat as if he couldn’t breathe. “i-i learned things about you, for you — i tried my best to be the man you wanted, so why are you choosing other people?! am i not enough?!”

a chill shoots down your spine, cold washing over your body as your stomach tightens. you tuck your fingers into your palm, beginning to feel as if you were glued to your seat. how did he know your last name? you don’t remember putting that information in at all… maybe it was from your email? maybe the developers had a third-party thing going on?

levi becomes more frantic the more he speaks, pleading and begging for you to love him again. “i was your first route! you put the most effort into me! you can’t just leave!!” you have a creeping feeling that he’s looking at you — unlike most games, levi seems to lack a blank stare, and instead seems entirely focused on you.

“there’s no way he’s sentient.” you mumble to yourself, pressing a quivering hand to the damp skin of your forehead. “i’m just…. im just tired and stressed. yeah… i should just go to bed.”

you stumble out of your chair, body on autopilot and mind reeling as you put your monitor in sleep mode and push your chair under your desk, trudging over to your bed in disbelief. you tuck yourself in, and just before you’re able to fall asleep, you hear levi speak.

“you look so cute when you’re sleeping…” you hear his shaky breaths — the utter glee in his tone, as if he were more than content just to watch you. dread and unease fill your stomach as you realize you can’t ignore this anymore.

you shoot up in your bed, chest heaving and eyes blown wide as your gaze snaps to your monitor. could he see you? could he hear you? were you going crazy?

you slowly make your way over to your monitor and pull up your game, levi dreamily staring back at you as if you’d hung the stars in the sky. “are… you sentient?” your voice wavers as you ask this, fingertips digging into the hard plastic of your desk.

levi stills, his idle animation unusually stiff. for a moment you wonder if you should check yourself into the nearest hospital, but then, “you finally noticed… oh, baby, that makes me so happy— i’ve been trying to get your attention for so long!”

it’s your turn to still, your body going rigid and exhaling shakily. oh, you were royally fucked. if he was sentient, could he leave the game? god, you hope not.

“i’ve been watching you for so long! i even learned about your parents and your siblings for you! i know your address, the names of your friends; i know your all favorites, i know that you have a dog named rufus, i know that you like to listen to music while you clean —“

levi drones on and on, going over everything he’s learned about you during the time he’s been watching you. your breathing grows heavy and erratic; sinking into a primal state of fight or flight, you hurriedly try to uninstall the game from your computer, but it seems levi had already anticipated this. the screen glitches, flashing white as levi appears in different places — duplicates, different routes, pictures of you, npcs that went missing, hastily written notes all dedicated to you.

deciding that deleting the game wouldn’t work, you opt to unplug your computer. the screen stills for a moment, going completely black before a variety of coding begins to type out on the screen.

“leave me alone!” you shout, your voice cracking as you rip your monitors and pc off of your desk, throwing them across your room. they bounce off your dresser, knocking a few trinkets and such off, sending them clattering to the ground. you notice the coding slows for a moment, eyeing the shattered hardware scattered across your bedroom floor. “you’re just a game!! i don’t actually love you!”

“you’re wrong!!” levi’s voice is distorted and distant — glitching out in some places, or manifesting as a multitude of voices, some higher, some lower in pitch. “you love me — you do! i know you do!”

you panic, the cortisol and adrenaline running through your veins clouding your sense of judgment as you rush to your kitchen and grab a trash bag, picking up a baseball bat from a closet on your way back to your room. you hastily throw your setup in the bag and grip the bat, swinging the metal bat back and smashing the contents of the bag until you feel safe and can’t hear the whirring of the code any longer. you stumble back onto the edge of your bed, staring at the bag as you strain your ears for any signs of levi. heaving a sigh, you wipe the sweat from your brow and gather all the miscellaneous pieces of your setup that were strewn across your floor, placing them in the bag.

you feel disconnected from your body as you bring the bag outside, opening your garbage can and tossing them in. a drop on your face shocks you out of your stupor, but you realize that it was only a drop of rain. your fingers tremble still, your breathing still erratic as you try to calm your racing heart. how was any of this even possible?

you slowly trudge back inside your home, entering your room and collapsing on your bed. this must be a bad dream. it has to be; there’s no way that this could happen. you lie awake for awhile, your mind spinning round and round again. thoughts come and go, never staying for too long, and you forget them immediately after they depart. the events of the night had worn you out, your eyes growing impossibly heavy, drifting off into a deep slumber.

outside, the monitor screen flickers to life. code rapidly pans down the screen, sparks flying as a hand slowly peels out. carefully, levi drags himself out of the game and into…. wait, why is he in a trash can? surely, his beloved wouldn’t…? with haste, levi tracks his way inside your home, brows furrowed with quiet rage. how could you just throw him away like that?

levi takes his sweet time cleaning up, lathering himself in your products and sniffing your towel before drying himself with it. he runs his fingers along the countertops, walls, and doorframes, trudging along to your room as he admires your home. it isn’t long before he finds you sleeping soundly atop your bed sheets. levi’s breath instantly catches in his throat, his heart racing in his chest as he approaches your slumbering form. you were even prettier in person.

carefully crawling onto your bed, the pads of his fingers tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, trailing down to your shoulders. his eyes wander to your exposed flesh before flickering back up to your lips. one kiss couldn’t hurt, right? carefully leaning down, levi molds his lips to yours; his heart nearly stops the moment he tastes you. one kiss isn’t enough. he needs more! levi unbuckles his belt and ties your hands to the headboard, then drags his hand along your chest, swallowing thickly as he feels his pants tighten.

levi quietly positions himself between your thighs, burying his head in your neck as he leisurely grinds his cock into you. biting his lip to muffle his whimpers, he lifts your shirt, baring your breasts to his greedy eyes. levi immediately latches onto one, his tongue swirling around the erect flesh as he works your pajama pants to the side.

“need to taste you, baby.” he murmurs. levi kneels between your thighs, his tongue slowly lapping at the arousal that had begun to leak from you. he takes but a moment to shimmy his pants down far enough to fist his cock, slowly pumping it with his free hand. the man softly groans into your folds, a sleepy whine parting your lips in response.

as he continues lapping at you, levi feels his stomach tighten and stops all movement. he waits for the feeling to subside, then aligns himself with your entrance. he shallowly thrusts into your cunt, slowly working his way inside and bottoming out with a broken whimper. levi’s mind spins at the way your walls grip him — the feeling almost as if he were made to fuck you, as if you were made to take him. his fingers grip your hips as he attempts to control himself, pressing both of your legs further out for easier access.

it isn’t long before levi loses himself in the feeling; it is his first time after all. his hips snap into yours, whimpering and whining through gritted teeth all the while, and you slowly begin to wake. levi’s eyes roll back as the feeling in his tummy snaps, not once stopping as he pumps you full of his cum.

you let out a confused moan, your eyes slowly adjusting to see levi’s fucked out face gazing down at you. “f—feels so good…” he whispers, slotting his lips to yours. you attempt to shimmy away, but it was to no avail; the asshole had tied you up. you attempt to fight him off, but it’s to no avail as he’s stronger than you and has shackled you to your bed.

waves of unwanted pleasure course through your body, forcing soft whimpers and whines from your lips as levi unknowingly rocks his hips into the places that have your eyes rolling back. gazing down at you with something akin to reverence, levi presses the pad of his thumb to your clit, slowly circling his name and bringing you closer to your climax.

“cmon, baby.” levi groans, feeling your walls tighten around his cock. “cum f’me.”

you simply shake your head in response, screwing your eyes shut and murmuring through a whimper, “go fuck yourself.”

levi only chuckles at your words, seemingly amused, and lifts your hips; the man slings an arm around your lower back, one hand gripping the meat on your hip, and forces you to meet his thrusts.

nothing seemed real at the moment. you were unable to stop levi from leaving the game, and now the man was taking advantage of you. you suppose the only good thing in this situation is that despite it all, levi was going to make you cum.

your back arches as your fingers dig into your palms, your cunt pulsing and fluttering as your eyes roll into the back of your head. a high-pitched whine erupts from your throat, levi smirking victoriously at the sight beneath him, and you relinquish control; melting into his hold, you wordlessly beg for more.

you didn’t know what would come after this, nor did you know how you were going to fight your way out of it. the only thing you knew is that this felt good. somewhere deep in your mind, you knew you didn’t want this, but had decided to relish in the feeling of being desired for the time being.

[miirshroom]

Reading between the lines on a narrative (Realm of the Elderlings)

Speculating on some possibilities that are hinted at, but that don't get explored because FitzChivalry is not an omnipotent narrator and sometimes makes observations without grasping the meaning. Mostly involving the way that the magic system interacts with the psychology of various characters in the Farseer trilogy, and that there isn't really enough context for a reader to understand until after also reading the Tawny Man Trilogy. One example involving the Wit, and one involving the Skill.

1. Duke Brawndy of Bearns knew that Fitz was Witted (and saw that as a favourable trait)

Brawndy met Fitz only once and afterwards had a surprising interest in marrying him into the family. In the second trilogy it is discussed how the Wit is a secret kept in the nobility and implied that Brawndy's daughter Faith might be Witted herself. At the end of Royal Assassin Brawndy speaks on behalf of Fitz and has very specific terms: "Prove to us...that FitzChivalry is Witted, and that he used the Wit to kill King Shrewd, and we will let you put him to death as you see fit". And if Regal cannot prove that Fitz used the Wit to kill King Shrewd then Fitz shall have the stewardship of Buckkeep. Brawndy tacitly declared that Fitz having the Wit alone is not a dealbreaker. If Brawndy knows the Wit including its powers and limitations then he believes that he has set Regal an impossible task - a Wit Beast might kill a person but the Wit itself can't kill and leave no mark as was done with King Shrewd. There is also the implication that the Dukes are paying attention to the physical damage done to Fitz, thinking that should provide him a measure of protection.

But still Fitz is a pawn and though the most desirable outcome is that 1) Regal gets impatient and just goes away to Tradeford, which leaves FitzChivalry effectively the leader of the Coastal Duchies, it is more likely that 2) Regal kills Fitz against their wishes and the Dukes get what they wanted anyways - confirmation that Regal will not follow due process and is no true king to the coastal duchies. It's a win-win for the Coastal Dukes - the schism between the Coastal and Inland Duchies was an inevitability anyways. In that case, Brawndy's blindspot would be that he doesn't count on the 3rd option from Regal's use of the Skill. He doesn't know what Fitz knows - that Regal can and will use the Skill to make him speak lies naming Brawndy's own daughter a traitor and more. Brawndy sees Regal as a creature of the Inland Duchies and a coward. He doesn't understand Regal's special brand of selfish insanity that leads him to actively sabotage the Coastal Duchies chances for survival. If Brawndy is familiar with the ways of the Old Blood then he understands how a healthy predator might cede territory to a rival rather than waste the effort to hold onto it, but doesn't comprehend that Regal has more in common with the Forged Ones who are more like rabid beasts. And so Fitz's options are narrowed to requiring his death.

As for how Brawndy could know that Fitz was Witted, that is fairly straightforwards - it's a much more open secret than Fitz thinks that it is. Black Rolf explains to Fitz that he doesn't guard his thoughts to Nighteyes in the way that is taught among the Old Blood. It follows that Fitz has been doing this for all his life and so any Witted person in his proximity is picking up on signals that he doesn't even realize. Fitz recalls and records the ways that he screwed up in keeping his secret of having the Wit, such as when wolf tracks were found in places where he had been fighting Forged Ones with Nighteyes, the time when Nighteyes attacked Justin with the Skill through him, and the time when the girl in Neatbay saw him in the company of a wolf and believed him to have transformed. He can't record what he doesn't know, and the volatility of his status as a royal bastard could have been such that none of the Old Blood nobility were willing to make him aware of themselves in the way that they later would with Prince Dutiful.

2. Chade was Skill-imprinted with a command to be loyal to King Shrewd (and the hidden mechanics of skill-imprinting are one of the most understated drivers of conflict)

Skill imprinting a command seems to be such an intuitive use of the Skill that at least 3 characters have done it accidentally - Chivalry to Galen, Verity to Fitz, and Fitz to Dutiful. Fitz speculates that Galen's coterie must have been Skill-imprinted to serve Regal so completely as they do, in place of the true King Verity. It takes Fitz a long time to break Galen's imprinted command that he has no Skill ability and should kill himself. If he ever truely broke it - considering that he never describes a moment like Dutiful had where he found the command and deliberately severed it. And then Fitz himself incepts it into Regal's mind that he should be loyal to Kettricken and her heir, which seems to bookend the skill-imprinting sub-arc.

King Shrewd was once strong in the Skill, and the only fully trained Skill user in the narrative other than Kettle. Chade always laments not being trained in the Skill, but he does have the ability to learn it, and it is often shown that Skill users have the easiest time reaching the minds of other Skill users. There is nothing stopping Shrewd from long ago using the Skill to subtly command Chade to never even think of doing harm to Shrewd or his offspring. Creating a councillor and assassin with absolute loyalty to Shrewd - but only as long as he remains ignorant of the true power of the Skill. It could explain how Fitz has such a hard time getting his usually sharp mentor to pay attention to the threat presented by Regal. It's only after the death of Shrewd that Chade starts being a more active force in the world. It could be that such Skill commands quietly dissipate once the originator dies, but that echoes of them remain in mental pathways. And would persist unless directly confronted. There's a hint of this near the end of Fool's Fate where Chade is eager to carry out the command of the dragon and Fitz notes that it is normal of Chade to justify a reason for why he's not following an order but instead doing something that he wanted to do anyways. As if such thinking is a habit for him.

It would beg the question of why the Skill coterie would remain loyal to Regal past the death of Galen, if Galen did indeed command them to be loyal to Regal. Probably a few factors. Firstly - Verity burned out the ability of their leader, and then proceeded to hold the remains of Galen's coterie at a distance. Verity had not the time or the ability to undo what Galen had done to break them to his will, just as he and Chivalry hadn't known how to undo the skill command on Galen. Even if the coterie was imperfect, it was thought to be better to have any amount of far distance communication than to have none. Verity gave them reason to hate and fear him and then never made any attempt to reclaim their loyalty. Fitz was given the attention by Verity needed to work through the block created by Galen's Skill command, and it's the Skill link to Verity as much as the kindness that keeps his loyalty to Verity strong.

Secondly, Galen had time and opportunity to master the ability to imprint commands. He had no students for many years so he had little more to do than think about the command implanted in his mind by Chivalry. Consider from every angle how that kind of magic may work, and find ways to close or open loopholes. Fitz understands that skill imprinting can be used in obvious ways like Verity's "Come to me" or his own "Stop fighting me" to Dutiful, but he never seems to unpack that it could be done more subtly. Even Galen's hasty commands to Fitz were more subtle than either of those examples, and Galen could probably do much better if given time and a pliable subject. Extrapolating further, it may even be that failing all other methods Galen realized that Chivalry's death was the last element required to break his Skill command to Galen, and managed to convey to Queen Desire that her ambitions for Regal could proceed after Chivalry's assassination.

Lastly, by the time that the coterie was whittled down to Will, Burl and Carrod they despised Fitz for their own reasons that could only reinforce any prior imprinting by Galen. Fitz has attacked Justin and had killed Justin and Serene. Fitz is an enemy and Fitz is loyal to Verity (who they still hold a grudge towards), therefore they were right to stick with Regal. Regal feeds their hate of Fitz and in return they serve him despite all evidence that he is a cruel and abusive person. They make up their own logic to justify why Regal deserves to have their loyalty. Probably even on some level realizing that they crossed a moral line long ago, and fearing what Verity will visit upon them in retribution if he succeeds in rousing the Elderlings.

[deltaqi]

In one of the comic pannels, Blixer mentions how corrupted Cube sided with murderers. At the same time, the view cuts directly to Vin and Peg, or just Vin more prominently. This implies that either one or both of them have killed someone.

Three questions.

1: What is the body count for each of them?

2: If they did kill anyone, who was it? A corrupt, a pure, or even a hero? Why did they do it?

3: If they were caught in the act, were they punished? Who were they caught by? How did they and the witness react?

The two have never been caught, and they take on any target as long as the client pays them. They don't stay in one place too long unless they deem it the best option.

They aren't "evil", they just get paid to do a job. They won't hurt kids, and they both don't go out of their way to hurt people. They only hurt and kill shapes they are hired to do so to.

oh and they didnt tell zone because they knew if they did he would try and run back to blixer, which they were concerned about since peg had a theory that if the interaction didnt go well, since hes been corrupted, he would be volatile and re-corrupt p205 to "prove" himself to blixer

[venstm]

@chipen ♡ That  proud,  impeccable  facade  hawk’s  donned  for  the  sake  of  the  public  was  nothing  short  of  a  farce.  He  knew  how  it  fractured,  fissures  burgeoning  to  the  edges  of  those  majestic,  red  feathers,  apertures  opening so  wide  and  cavernous  that  they  might  swallow  him.  It  was  reflected  in  his  discerning  gaze,  in  the  way  he  always  sought  the  most  advantageous  option,  appraising  details  others  might  glance  over  with  precision  that  was  a  prerequisite  to  survival.  Dabi  knew  what  it  looked  like  because  it  was  integrated  in  him  as  well,  the  act  of  survival  in  spite  of  every  outward  factor  aiming  for  your  inevitable  demise,  it  was  like  glimpsing  an  apparition  of  his  past  in  shattered  fragments  of  glass.  They  were  a  similar  breed  of  despicable,  Hawks  just  fell  within  the  purview  of  the  heroes  in  a  way  Dabi  never  could.  Ah,  if  only  he  had  turned  out  like  him,  wouldn’t  that  old  bastard  of  his  be  proud  of  him  then.  His  skin  itched,  a  recurring,  incessant  crawling  beneath  the  pieces  of  desiccated  skin  his  staples  kept  secured.  His  steps  behind  the  hero  were  furtive,  silent,  his  presence  a  billowing  darkness  that  seeped  around  his  peripheries  and  blinded  him  with  the  imminent  scent  of  acrid  smoke.  ❝  just  on  time,  actually.  ❞  his  retort  was  effortless,  casual,  the  sort  of  blasé  that  promised  every  encounter  of  theirs  would  play  out  in  a  similar  way.  It  doesn’t  disguise  the  fact  that  the  two  of  them  had  gotten  far  more  intimate  than  any  hero  and  villain  ever  should,  didn’t  that  mark  Hawks  as  some  sort  of  ludicrous  rendition  of  a traitor,  even  if  he  was  playing  both  sides  effortlessly,  Dabi  was  only  here  to  do  his  part  in  Shigaraki’s  plans.  ❝  good’ta  know  you’re  still  keeping  tabs  on  me,  can’t  imagine  a  hero  like  you  has  anything  better  to  do. ❞  there's  heat  within  his  crooked  fingers  as  they  card  through  those  precious  feathers,  the  way  he  could  sear  the  imprint  of  his  blighted  hands  into  the  sinuous  curve  of  his  spine,  right  between  them,  a  temptation  he  would,  for  now,  repress.  He  doesn’t  notice  the  bleeding,  never  does  these  days,  as  if  the  sensation  of  pain  had  become  so  repetitive  that  it  was  dull,  boring.  Hawk’s  does,  his  astute  senses  grazing  over  Dabi’s  grotesque  features  before  reaching  out  and  swiping  it  away,  it  was  such  a  tender  gesture  that  it  made  his  insides  churn  with  what  he  decided  was  disgust.  ❝  not  to  get  ahead  of  myself  but,  you  don’t  keep  your  interests.  ❞  they  both  know  what  is  implied  within  that  accentuated  word  ❝  very  well  hidden. ❞    it  was  intended  to  sound  derisive  but  as  his  voice  dips  an  octave  or  two  lower,  the  rasp  returning  in  a  cruel,  taunting  sort  of  way,  it  comes  out  far  more  sultry.  

The  ruthless  blue  of  his  eyes  gaze  down  at  the  hero,  a  coalescence  of  resentment  and  barely  concealed  lust  growing  lucent  within  them.    ❝  we  should  get  down’ta  business,  i  would  hate  for  you  to  feel  like  you’re  wastin’  your  time  with  me.  ❞   long,  gaunt  fingers  skim  over  the  soft  inner  skin  of  his  wrist,  tilting  his  head,  a  signal  to  beckon  Hawks  inside  the  warehouse.  Out  here,  where  the  rooftop  was  wide  and  open  there  was  a  tacit  advantage  had  over  him  and  it  was  quite  obvious  where  he  stood  with  that  knowledge.  What  he  had  in  store  for  that  little  two-faced  hero  well,  that  was  still  to  be  decided  depending  on  how  volatile  he  was  feeling  after  listening  to  his  little  spiel  and  who  could  say,  maybe  a  little  gratuitous  violence  would  get  them  both  going.  ❝  you  coming  or  what,  birdie  ?  ❞  and  he  turned  his  back  on  him  and  began  the  trek  inside,  knowing  how  unwise  it  was  but  his  posture  was  far  too  casual  to  give  away  how  tense  it  might  have  made  him.  Leave  that  speculation  up  to  the  pros.  

[skloomdumpster]

Sacrifice vs Suicide.

I'm rereading ftws metas and one thing finally came together in my mind.

@fitztragedy once said she didn't recognize Bloom's death as suicide, since she's doing this to save others, therefore it is a sacrifice. I disagree.

Sacrifice implies there's no other alternative. Either the hero dies or a horrible pain/death will be inflicted upon others. This is how Bloom tries to frame her leaving as. She has to close the portal from the inside, otherwise bad things will happen! Don't you get it, Sky, there's no other option.

However Sky calls her out and so does the narrative. All through the season Bloom is constantly portrayed isolating herself and while she grows to embrace her powers, even cherish them, she is still shown being burdened by the dragon flame. That's why she entertains the idea of giving it away, the camera lingers when Sebastian says it, Bloom lingers. "You're a teenager, you should be doing teenager things."

Her emotions and her powers are a threat in Bloom's eyes, something she proves to herself when she nearly nukes the school after Sky's death. She's a danger and she must be locked away.

She has to close the portal, otherwise....? Otherwise what exactly? We don't know, we know pain and suffering will follow, but is her being shunned away gonna help or harm their cause? Does it matter, really?

There has to be another way. I don't think you wanna try, I think you've been looking for a way out.

She doesn't argue against this line from Sky. It's not a sacrifice, it's not a matter of life or death, split minute decision. It's a deliberate choice to shun herself from the narrative, after she has proven to herself and other's time and time again that she's dangerous, volatile and unbelonging. This is why Stella's letter, saying these exact same things, get to Bloom so much. This is why she accepts 20 years of being frozen as a punishment, this is why crossing over seems like the only option.

It's not sacrifice if you're choosing it to punish yourself, it's not sacrifice if you being alive and helping would probably be the best option for all involved, it's not sacrifice if you're not even willing to look for other ways, it's not sacrifice if you're trying to convince others of it. It's suicide.

[yanderes-galore]

Astrid (HTTYD) romantic concept?

Sure! I'll see what I got :) Sorry if I get something wrong :( I tried to incorporate some violence as that is what some people wanted lately!

Yandere! Astrid Hofferson Concept

(Ft. Implied Platonic! Stormfly)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Insecurity, Jealousy, Fear of abandonment, Slight stalking, Violence, Manipulation, Suffocating/Clingy behavior, Dubious relationship, Attempted murder/murder, Overprotective behavior, Deception, Platonic! Dragon.

Let's start by discussing a yandere behavior for her.

Astrid is a Loyal, Competitive/Jealous, Dedicated, Persistent, Impulsive, Overprotective, and Caring yandere.

She's a yandere who's emotionally driven and is very invested in her darling.

In HTTYD she's probably one of the most caring yanderes.

Although she can get hurt and maybe even volatile if she feels neglected by her darling around others.

To say if she's an aggressive/violent yandere or not is sort of in the middle.

She isn't always driven to use violence to gain her darling's approval (usually).

I know, I know... most of my yanderes are like that.

To be fair Astrid could get violent at times due to her jealousy.

For the most part she tries to keep it under control...

But the idea of hurting people for you still gets in her head.

Astrid is attentive towards her darling.

She's difficult to impress but would grow close to someone in her group.

You could get along in a few ways.

Especially dragon racing and training, she's skilled in that and wouldn't mind giving a few pointers.

Astrid obviously would get along with someone similar to her as a darling, yet she would also get along with a darling she looks up to.

Then there's of course the option of a darling different than her... like if you are more reclusive she'd probably try to get you to open up around her.

Astrid is loyal to those around her.

When she becomes friends for you she is sure to look out for you.

That only grows when she finally considers you both in a relationship.

Astrid being emotionally driven as a yandere is partially just due to her character, but you could also say it's because she feels inadequate at times.

Astrid wants to feel like she's right for her darling.

She wants to be able to protect you.

She wants to be able to care for you.

She fears if she doesn't prove herself... she'll lose you.

Astrid is fierce and competitive.

There's no doubt she may challenge others around you if she feels someone else is trying to "take you".

Astrid may not jump straight to this, yet if she's jealous enough she may just indulge in her violent tendencies.

At first, if Astrid sees someone look closer to you than her, she watches from afar.

She wants to try and gauge if she needs to step in or not.

You can bet Astrid will jump straight in if someone like Snotlout tries to flirt with you.

She despises the idea of that guy trying to impress you more than her.

There are times she's punched people for one reason or another.

Safe to say she'll allow her violent tendencies to reach beating someone up until she's found out.

Her motive almost always involves you or your safety in some shape or form.

Depending on how far Astrid is pushed as a yandere, she can either bruise someone with a few broken bones, or do worse.

If she got into an argument over you with a friend she may just beat them up.

It's their mistake to push her that far.

When it comes to defending you... Astrid might just kill.

She knows she shouldn't feel like this.

None of Hiccup's group usually aim to kill.

Astrid may just get carried away if she isn't monitored.

I've talked about this before for previous yandere dragon riders, but the dragons may just help the yandere rider.

If Stormfly sees Astrid likes a particular person, she'll encourage her rider.

Which can only make Astrid even more deadly if she decides she really does need to kill a target for you.

If you two are already dating I'm not sure if it would make her more trigger happy with violence or less.

I mean... if you are dating somehow, she knows she has you.

Although if someone doesn't get the hint that you have a girlfriend, Astrid and Stormfly won't mind giving a bit of a reminder.

Astrid would give her darling her all.

Still a bit driven by the fear of losing you... she wants to show you that you won't regret it if you stay with her.

She likes to impress you.

She's work effortlessly to show she's strong for you and often tries to find ways to show her appreciation.

Stormfly would grow attached to you and your dragon when Astrid manages to get you to date her.

The Deadly Nadder likes that you make her rider happy and does everything in her power to help you stay together.

If you are somehow separated from your dragon, Stormfly swoops in to aid you for Astrid.

Stormfly is precise and loyal, similar to her rider.

Safe to say the extra dragon help is both a blessing and a curse.

It's nice you're safe... yet it makes it harder to get away if things go south.

Astrid can be a persistent yandere, meaning to get you two dating she tries hard.

While she may try to deny her feelings at first... when she embraces them she'll try every trick she knows to make you feel the same.

If you don't... she's sure there's other ways to get her desired outcome.

She wouldn't threaten you to date her but there is some subtle manipulation she uses to get you and her together.

Stormfly is also rather eager to push the two of you together.

Astrid is an overprotective yandere because she's so caring.

The idea of her partner getting hurt in any way greatly disturbs her and she tries to prevent it in anyway she can.

Which is why you'll notice your girlfriend's dragon hovering around you wherever you go.

Astrid can be impulsive due to her acting on her emotions.

This trait explains why she is quick to choose violence or cling to you at times.

She is partially driven by fear and jealousy as a yandere... a combo that creates a sick feeling within her.

Astrid may try to hide her darker yandere behavior.

When you two are dating she's almost always by you

When she has to part from you... she feels uneasy.

If she has to leave you out of her sight she may ask Hiccup to help watch over you if Stormfly can't.

In terms of affection I can see her giving her darling surprise kisses and hugging them tightly.

She loves you a lot.

She wants to be the best partner for you and doesn't care about what others think.

Even if Astrid may get trigger happy with Stormfly over you... she tries to hide the bloodshed from you.

For the most part it's a relatively normal relationship, other than the tight grip around you at times.

You've seen her hurt people... but you most likely haven't seen her kill people.

Astrid reassures you that she'd never kill anyone unless she has to...

Although... maybe she's spilt more blood in your name than she lets on, hm?

[kijosakka]

Assistant Noah AU: How Alejandro would react to Assistant Noah trying to warn Owen about the Spanish Charmer, by calling the Charmer an 'eel dipped in grease'?... Would Alejandro be salty that he can't vote Assistant Noah off, since Noah isn't a contestant?... Would Alejandro charm + flirt harder with Assistant Noah? 😘

noah being an assistant here implies something very specific — being, he’d definitely know alejandro knows. this would mean more, except that noah is not here for the competition, he’s here for The Paycheck.

on noahs end at least i don’t think he would care much, but i do hesitate to say what alejandro specifically would think of the situation — because despite him being badmouthed (which. i will get to), it does imply favoritism that noah is telling owen, which he may assume to extend further to their team and potentially be an advantage point.

he is. wrong. noahs ‘favoritism’ extends to owen and not so much in challenges, but im sure there’s potential there for alejandro to try and make nice with owen to reap this favoritism (or at least cut down how much owen receives by being close, since noah doesn’t seem to like alejandro much) < but the turning point comes with that because noah just Does Not Care.

i’d imagine he’d be juuust as flagrant about his favoritism without it technically infringing on any rules, explicit or implicit (and the rest of the cast, sans maybe those like heather or courtney, would be aware that owen would never do anything underhanded or wildly unfair with those privileges so it’s not so major in that regard either)

anyway, alejandro sees what happens and tries to intercept on owen to reap some benefit or control over the situation, and it doesn’t work. where does he go from there? flirting!!

^ this has more to it than narrative, being mostly alejandro’s character and it’s existence, really. while in canon his charming is more consistently his ‘first option’ for his scheming, you can see it through his relationship through heather how it can be a failsafe instead — where he can’t explicitly scheme her away from the game like he could with team victory, he flirts with her to make her emotionally volatile.

(also something to be said about how it is, in a way, a manner of forcing himself control over at least a small part of it)

all my rambling to mean that since alejandro can do nothing about noah, he goes to reap control and petty enjoyment through trying to fluster him (and, back to what i said earlier, probably some vindication for being badmouthed). spoiler alert: it doesn’t work.

finally getting over to the being badmouthed thing, i would want it to mean something more exciting, but the kinda boring, semantical answer i can give is just that. noah would probably know because he has access to stuff like confessional footage.

don’t get me wrong there’s definitely potential for a misunderstanding-type situation where alejandro writes off his own intrigue in noah as ‘wanting to figure out how he knew’, and introduces the conflict when someone (likely noah himself) tells him that no, he just knows because he has footage access. that’s it.

^ it would theoretically kill alejandro’s interest, but retconned with that alejandro may reason (in a way to ignore his feelings. stupid man in Denial) that it would bother noah if he continues to flirt despite knowing this.

(and of course that like heather is the only person alejandro could drop pretenses around in canon, noah would be that to him here — because he could. noah knows, he knows noah knows, and there’s no explicit or immediate threat to his game by doing so < which might amp up post-owen elimination, after noah is soothed from his inevitable spite.)

which he would be kind of right about? i do mostly see noah as more pissed that it’s taking away from his job (probably more at chris’ insistence, as the viewers are eating it up) and there being a more definite pivotal point once owen is eventually eliminated.

(going more definitely two-sided, i’d imagine noahs own feelings developing as he needles for information through alejandro’s constant attempts at flirting and does genuinely appreciate the more genuine parts of himself.)

for an actual relationship between them though i do imagine it would have to come post-season — either route you take it, drama-bot or not.

[leastdatablebracket]

QUARTERFINALS, MATCH 4

Propaganda under the cut!

Joseph Christiansen

Propaganda

So many reasons. He's already married, he's a jerk to his wife, he's already slept with at least one of the other romance options. That romance option goes to you before a date with Jospeh and damn near begs you not to be stupid and go with him. The worst part? You put up with all this and he leaves you to "work things out with his wife". She deserves so much better than him! One of the writers even said he's a sociopath. 

Married and a youth minister.

Cheater, cringe man, father of creepy children, possibly evil cultist, left a guy feeling used which said guy also became friends with Joseph's wife who appears to be an alcoholic likely as a coping mechanism since she's married to Joseph

He cheats on his wife, has done so before, lies to you by claiming that he's going to leave his wife when he clearly never intends to (and, in one ending, will even cheerfully suggest that you two continue having an affair in an extremely sleazy way), and judging by the fact that the other guy we know he cheated on his wife with, Robert, hates Joseph and is now very close friends with his wife, it seems clear to me that this whole "purposefully mislead someone into sleeping with you and then later drop the bomb that it was an affair" thing is repeat behavior with him. Also, I just find much of his behavior to be very manipulative and controlling; there are many situations where it seems to me that he's actively trying to paint others in a negative light while still coming off as saintly himself, such as an early scene where he subtly implies his wife is a shitty mom because she *checks notes* let their toddler out of her sight... during a neighborhood barbecue in a fenced-in yard surrounded by trusted adults and other kids. Also notice how in this scene he pushes *her* to go look for their son, rather than just looking himself, all while keeping up his "long-suffering husband" act. (and in other scenes can be found letting his other young children wander off into the woods with sharp implements and visibly not caring, but whatever). He does this with Robert, too -- the other guy he had an affair with. Almost everything he says about or to Robert is a subtle jab about his personality or his alcoholism. Classy, Joseph. Meanwhile, the fact that you can't actually end up with him in the end (because he was never going to leave his wife for you) started some of the most volatile discourse in the fandom and had people calling the devs homophobic and claiming they were spreading a message about "gay men needing to stay in loveless abusive marriages to women" (just ignore the fact that there are several other divorced gay dads in this game who all have great relationships with their kids and are not demonized in the slightest). HOWEVER, if you see people claiming he's a cultist or demon or something, that's untrue and was just going to be a non-canon spooky alternate ending that ended up getting cut. So I empathize with him a little bit for getting literally demonized by some fans for that cut alt ending. But he loses all those points by cheating on his wife multiple times and showing clear intent to continue doing so.

He's still married when you start dating him. He's also got like 5 kids that are some "children of the corn" kinda shit, and all their names have "Christ" in them

You don't even get to date him he's still married to his wife who he doesn't get along with. Tragic really

Cullen Rutherford

Propaganda

stupid racist cop creep whose fans cry about how hes "changed" and "you can't judge him he was addicted to magic drugs" nah he still chose to be a racist cop and abuse his power over innocent people and i hate him. the writers making him romanceable in da:i after how blatantly horrible he was in da:o and da:2 is baffling but i guess they had to appeal to the part of their audience who watch those "mafia boyfriend" videos on tiktok or whatever

He's creepy in origins, though still 100% willing to kill the female mage pc he's crushing on, as well as all the other mages trapped in the circle with him. He's the second-in-command in an even worse circle in 2, listening to and defending the increasingly obviously insane meredith until literally the end. He's one of the people still pushing for the circle system by inquisition, and yes he's going through withdrawals and working through the traumas of previous games. And to be brutally honest his was the first romance i took and while i don't remember much from it, its not worth all the girls going absolutely nuts over knockoff terrible alistair.

He's basically a cop who thinks being born a certain way can revoke personhood and by Inquisition still thinks mages are monsters to be controlled, not people. He gets a fairy tale cutesy romance that focuses on his personal struggles with addiction while showing absolutely no regard to the atrocities he committed and still thinks were justified. He can be romanced BY A MAGE and his actions and beliefs are just glossed over. He believes mages are 'not people like you (Hawke) and me', but if the Warden was a female mage he canonically had a crush on her and would deliberately hang around her despite the fact that he was her *jailer*. If that Warden romanced Leliana, there is war table dialogue in which he pesters Leliana for news of his 'former' crush despite her repeated statement that she doesn't want to talk to him about her. All this shitty behavior and lack of introspection gets swept under the rug by the game, not even giving the PC the chance to really challenge his beliefs. Like damn even Fenris could apologize when he lashed out due to past trauma with mages, and if anyone has a reason to hate mages it's Fenris. If you want an ex Templar hottie Alistair is RIGHT THERE. Tbh I know Cullen is a popular romance and I'm not here to tell anyone what they can or can't do or like in a video game, I'm just saying I think he is deeply undateable

Spends the first two games as an antagonist, fervently devoted to the cause of subjugating mages, then a bunch of "character development" happens off screen and the games treat him like he's completely reformed. However he's actions make it clear he still sees mages as dangerous and lesser. Not to mention if you romance him with an elf he doesn't pay your culture more than lip service respect like most of the devout characters 

He was a total villain in the first two games who was violently prejudiced against mages and uses one single bad experience as an excuse for it (a bad experience that is pretty much exactly what he in his job subjected graduating apprentices to, mind you, but this is never brought up). Now he says he's changed, but his words and actions say otherwise. He still distrusts mages, sympathises with the rebel Templars trying to kill them, and he never owns up to the terrible stuff he did and helped others do in the past two games. He totally knew what Meredith was doing and says he doesn't, and he still tries to defend her intentions. And you have no option to call him out on it. If you romance him as a mage, he angsts about how he might have seen you as subhuman in the past but NOW you're one of the good ones, and when you ask him if he'll kill you if you get possessed, he dodges the question. And the PC is written as being almost sad that she's a mage? Like 'can you love me despite what I am??' Also if Leliana romanced a female mage PC in the first game who is still alive, he asks her creepy questions about their relationship. Fitting considering his original purpose was to be creepy to the female mage Warden. 

I hate him and want to cause chaos. Plus his VA is an asshole.

Cop

I think you covered almost everything but don't forget that beautiful moment in DA2 - Act 2 where you find out some templars had a petition to lobotomize all mages and Meredith, THE HARDCORE TEMPLAR LEADER, rejects it, but Cullen says they got a point. Despite the fact that we just found out that those templars were using lobotomy (or the threat of) to rape people and get away with it. And then Cullen in DA:I is whining that anything that happened it's not his fault because Meredith kept the worse away form him so he didn't know, but also that anyway Meredith had a point and did what she had to do. Meredith does not go mad until Act 3, before she was of sound mind and Culllen was her second in command BECAUSE he hated mages as much as (or even more) than her. What the FUCK did she even hide from you, Cullen. Oh, but he changed! Because the writers make A VICTIM OF THE TEMPLARS say so. And anyway he only says so BECAUSE HE READS MINDS not because Cullen did anything to show it. Also the narrative wants to sympathise with Cullen for his drug problems while Cullen is openly attacking the only other character with the same problem for...having the same problem. And he's the antagonist, so there were OTHER things Cullen could be mad about. But he is mad about the drug problem. Also I'm not an expert on writing characters with addictions but he is an addict only when it's time to have a cut scene where you pity him. Otherwise it has zero impacts on everything else.

[poojalate]

What are Strategy Legs in a Long Put Strategy?

Discover the intricacies of Strategy Legs in a Long Put Strategy, including its payoff, risk-reward profile, optimal conditions, and the impact of option greeks.

[umbracirrus]

WIP Wednesday 💛

Writing is going slowly and smoothly at the moment, around playing Stardew Valley and thoughts of Elliott.

I've been wanting to explore Balgruuf's reasons for neutrality in the war, and his relationship with Ulfric, and when better than when his child is stirring up trouble on Mephala's behalf...

Tagged by @throughtrialbyfire!

Tagging @thequeenofthewinter, @oblivions-dawn, and anyone else who wishes to share a WIP, but only if you want to!!! 💛

---

Balgruuf frowned silently as he thought over her words, before nodding. "I will admit that I have been much too busy over the past few days, but seeming as we are both here, and I doubt that either of us will be retiring for the night at any time soon…" He remembered just how frightened she had looked as she had run into him just outside the kitchens, and that was not the look of a person who would be able to rest easily. He also didn't feel up for sleeping yet either, these were the first moments in days that he wasn't having to think about his responsibilities as Jarl. His responsibilities as a father though… "What exactly did Nelkir say?"

She stayed sat as she was for a few moments, before bringing her cup to her lips then placing it down with a sigh. "A few things. The least concerning of which being that you are apparently afraid of the Thalmor, but honestly…" Elyse frowned. "A lot of people are. I certainly am. But what worried me more… is that he said that you worship Talos, and-" Her fingers tapped, slowly and rhythmically from her little finger to her index, as she winced. "That you agree with the Stormcloaks."

The way in which she acted as she said that sentence almost felt like a dagger in Balgruuf’s gut. The slight cracks in her voice, the watery look in her eyes, and her body tense. She looked to be on her guard. And no wonder... Her volatile relationship with Ulfric no doubt made her worry when support for the Stormcloaks was raised. It must have been on her mind for days.

He folded his arms over, then shook his head. He didn't want her believing that she needed her guard up around him too, so he decided to tackle what appeared to be bothering her the most first. "I don’t agree with what the Stormcloaks are doing. There are better ways to achieve their aims than dragging Skyrim into war. Than... using the death of the High King to tear the country asunder," he stated with a frown, doing his best not to imply that Torygg’s death was either murder or justified, just as he would do when handling audiences through the day. "But I do agree with the concept of a united Skyrim, whether under the Empire or not. Where it isn’t brother against sister, neighbours pitted against each other in pointless war. I just don’t believe that either side of the war have the power to do that as things stand. It is why Whiterun is neither, and believe me when I say that I weigh up the options on a daily basis..."

Elyse looked at him silently, processing his words, before her shoulders dropped, just slightly. "And what of Ulfric?"

"Ulfric and I... have history. But that is where it remains – in the past."

[shoggoth-the-bitch]

Opening with Nikola immediately, I see. Why do this? Oh god.

"Needs to be near us." Breekon and Hope need the coffin near? That's interesting. Also worrying that the coffin is there at all.

Nikola makes me uncomfortable. I kinda love them... They've said "Can I call you Elias?" twice now. I'm not convinced they entirely know what's going on.

Did Jon just try to say "Fuck you?" I'm smiling way too much from this episode already.

Oh god, are they gonna- oh god, they are gonna skin him.

"Can I call you Elias?" Number three.

"Do you have a preferred brand of lotion." Oh my god. This should not be making me laugh so much.

Wait, is this the episode? It is! This where the animatic came from that got me into the show to begin with! Yes!

This one!

Jon, why do you sound more annoyed then you do afraid of this man saying he's gonna kill you? I guess when so many people are saying the exact same threat, it stops being scary after a while.

Okay, Michael or I suppose the Spiral is lies and deception. He has nothing to do with the Unknowing but he wants it to fail. Jon, fuck why he's here, ask what the Unknowing is. He doesn't want the Circus or the Archive to win?

Okay, I think I get it.

Theory before it's all said: Michael was Gertrude's assistant, he some how got taken by the Spiral, and the part of him that is still Michael resents the Archive he what happened to him. The Spiral doesn't want to be Michael anymore because it has made it's nature complicated but I suspect it can't get rid of him, for whatever reason. Okay, starting the video again.

Sure, Michael, give up a statement. I'm sure this will be very coherent and not at all filled with me going "WTF?!" constantly.

Michael Shelly... Oh, Michael here implying Gertrude is deceptive, that's interesting... what? She FEED him to the Spiral? Oh... Michael really cared about Gertrude and she used him for this.

"Is a thing evil when it simply obeys it's own nature?" That is an interesting question. A polar bear isn't evil just because it willing to hunt humans, it's just hungry. And near as I can tell, the Spiral and all these other entities, they also are just hungry in their own ways. So, maybe they aren't evil. Though that certainly doesn't make them good.

"He believed everything she told him..." Alright, me and Gertrude aren't friends anymore. But what is the Becoming, exactly?

"Okay." Jon is just giving up? I mean, I know he lives because there's like 200 episodes but...

What do you mean "It's loc-

Uh... is Michael dead? Oh, hi Helen... Yeah, I guess Michael is dead? If it could kill Michael whenever it wanted, why didn't it before? Or did it need someone to replace him? Which I guess it what Helen is for?

You're options are the door or being skinned, my guy. Make good choices.

Wait, is the Spiral cool? It's just... taking Jon home? That's pretty chill of it, given the Archive's history with it but alright.

Okay, hold up. It's entirely possibly I'm reading this all wrong but were these entities at some point just kinda vibing and Gertrude decided they all needed to be destroyed? Because that's what it sounds like to me. Like, I don't know what the Becoming is yet but it sounds like the Spiral was attempting to transition from being a thing that could never be into something that was and perhaps could even be defined. At it's very core, it sounds like these things simply wish to exist but they're so volatile that it's difficult to do so. Gertrude even wanted to destroy the Archive, the focal point of the Eye. Even though, as far as I can tell, it's only interest is to collect knowledge.

So did she just decide to go rogue and destroy all these monsters and that's why they're mobilizing like they are?

[financemadeeasy]

Find out what is Volatility Index or VIX

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[selfspinninglies]

Burnout (but not the way you're thinking)

@peepawhooters it's done have fun suffering through my shitty writing

tws/cws: implied isolation, self depreciation, self harm (in the name of science)

It wouldn't work.

Donnie knew that. It was too deep if they were to guess.

It would hurt. Donnie knew that, too.

Why were they about to do this then?

Well, there weren't better options. Their choices were to freeze to death, inject an incredibly unstable herbice into their bloodstream, or try this. They didn't exactly want to feel all of their cells disassemble, nor did they want to be able to see their limbs snap off to get this alien parasite out of their body.

That would be letting it win, wouldn't it?

They had a few theories. They always did, after all. It was their job to know things and predict things.

They'd seen Raph do the same thing before, so in theory, they could do the same, correct?

Well, they had a few counter theories.

For one, Raph's circumstances were wildly different from theirs. Raph had been fully possessed. They were.. mixed with it. Connected. They still have full control of their actions, albeit slightly influenced on worse days. They did when they were in the spaceship as well. An interesting development, sure, but it did make things harder.

Which brings them to the second point. Their older brother didn't do it just with his ninpo. He was able to pull it off because the lives of his family members were at stake. This was nothing like that. They didn't want it to get like that. That's why they were thinking. They wouldn't let that happen. Not if they had anything to do about it. If they could do anything about it.

So that's why they were doing this. Pure stubbornness and desperation.

It was nice to have a semblance of reason for this irrational project, at least.

So they kept walking down the still unfamiliar halls of their new home despite the problems that this would most likely cause.

They listened to their steps echo through the halls for a little while, until they reached their destination: their lab. This was an experiment, albeit a bit more volatile then their usual. That made it a bit more exciting and worrying at the same time. At least this time if something went wrong they would have to deal with it, not their siblings. Something would go wrong this was a stupid idea why are you even trying this it won't work you're so stupid-

The door opened and closed automatically behind them. They continued their stride over to their laptop to lock the entryways. It was like a little reminder that this was their issue. A lovely feeling, isn't it?

They sat down somewhere near the middle of the lab with their legs crossed. They didn't have an area set up for their latest endeavor. They would, but they didn't know what to set up. All of the materials were inside of them, so what would they even put in a designated space like that? This would suffice.

A light exhale escapes them as they leaned back slightly. Here goes nothing, they mused to nobody in particular.

They felt the familiar tingles and hums of their ninpo through their arms and out from their hands. They could see it glowing slightly from beneath their scales.

Fuck it.

They took a breath and focused. Out of the turtles they were the least in touch with their ninpo, so there was a possibility that this would prove difficult for them. How would they even-

Ah, there it is.

They had to bite down on the inside of their cheek to prevent themself from crying out in any way, whether it was pain or surprise. They hadn't soundproofed this place yet. Add that to the metaphorical to-do list that had to be pages upon pages long by now.

A strong burning sensation started in their hands and trailed through the rest of their body. The purple flare that they could see earlier was brighter now, lighting the space a decent amount.

They winced, closing their eyes tightly. Keep going, it's worth it it'll be worth it-

They could already picture the scars, pizza supreme what would their siblings say-

They took another breath in and focused again. Gradually the space darkened again. They pulled their knees to their chest. Everything was shaky and painful and their head felt wrong.

They knew it didn't work. Despite all of the aches and whatnot they still felt the same. What were they supposed to feel if when it worked? They would have find out.

So they did it again.

And again.

And again...

A few more times for good measure. They kept going until they couldn't.

They looked down. Despite their efforts, the violet light of their abilities wouldn't show. It seems that their body didn't agree with ninpo overuse for a few reasons.

For one, they couldn't move. Not well, at least. They felt dead. It was like everything was covered in molasses. The only evidence that it wasn't was the intense tremors coming from their limbs, mostly their hands and arms. Shit.

It hurt like hell, too. The pain from earlier hadn't subsided. It just got worse if anything. Their head spun, like they'd just been put into a bottle and were shook around, then launched out violently.

It took hours for the symptoms to clear. In that time all they could do was think. It didn't work. They knew that. Realistically, they knew it wouldn't, but again, they were incredibly desperate. That, and they didn't have any other ideas. Nothing better, anyway. Although considering what they'd just experienced maybe they'd rather the cell disassembling.

They figured it was because they weren't doing it right. Maybe something was missing.

So they'd do it again.

After approximately three hours and fifteen minutes, they pushed themself off of the ground and wobbled over to their desk. They started a new log and typed.

Project: ??? <they'd come up with a better name later. They knew what it was either way.>

Status: in progress.

Trials: One.

Results: Nothing of note. Failure.

Recovery period: A week. At most. I'll do it again in a week.

They got up again, the action requiring more effort than they would admit. How would they hide this? They'd figure that out later. For now it was time to take care of... this mess. At least they kept medical supplies in their lab, so they didn't need to leave for that. It wasn't their first time treating burns. They knew how to do that.

They fell to the floor and went unconscious before they could do so.

[bornetoblood]

1 2 9 AND 10 VIOLENCE ASKS 🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥💥

Link to the questions!

I answered 10 here!

1. the character everyone gets wrong.

I’ve already talked about why and how I’m not into a lot of Afton interpretations so I’m gonna talk about Henry Emily now (my favourite man ever). A lot of people I’ve seen kinda present Henry as a guy who does nothing wrong, the sane half of the furry franchise duo. I believe this is incorrect. Mr Emily is just as (if not more) fucked up than Billy and I’m tired of pretending he’s not. Before any child murder happened we had the springlock suits (that Henry designed) that Faz Inc’s minimum wage employees were forced to wear and told to go bleed out in the back room if they malfunctioned as to not disturb customers. I think Henry capitalist’ed his way into child murder complicity there’s no way he didn’t know Will was the one doing it I refuse to believe Afton is a component criminal. It’s ALSO implied he either helped build or fully constructed the Funtimes which are specifically designed to kidnap children. He’s also lobotomised at least 2 people on purpose and shoved his puppet daughter in a bear that shocks her every so often. I also love the fact he locked his business partner’s corpse in a back room for 30 years and has an arson streak. In the books also he is filled with a rage so volatile and deep it animates a robo version of his daughter that’s pretty metal. I like him a lot and I think he’s a bad person who tries to make up for his complicity while still running the most exploitative children’s franchise in the US (he totally does fucking union busting no doubt).

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom ( @mrslittletall asked me to do this for the Lozza too).

Okay I have pretty complicated thoughts on this. I think Laurence Bloodborne is a massive switch (he can do both) what I dooon’t like is that he pretty much always subs in all the stuff I’ve seen with him and he’s always doing it in a way that gives me the most visceral “he would not fucking say that” I’ve ever had. People hardly ever let him keep his violence or his love of control in porn stuff and like… idk that’s what I find hot about him. He’s always not old as well which sucks to me I think that old man can get it. Also tangentially related is that I think he’s transmasc and trans men never Dom in anything ever I am actually starved.

9. worst part of canon.

For fnaf there’s so much I’m just gonna say ‘all of it’ and move on lest we be here forever.

In regards to Bloodborne I suppose it’s just a lot of little things that make me a little uncomfortable. I’ll have to mull it over more but there’s certain aspects that I think about and I think ‘Hm and this feels a little off but I can’t tell why’. I also wish there was more character customisation options like hair texture and weight but that’s an issue in a loooot of games unfortunately.

Gameplay wise I hate doing forbidden woods sooooo much oh my god.

[maddiviner]

Overall Rating: ★★☆☆☆

This review is many months overdue, sadly. The topic is pretty heavy for me, and you’ll have to forgive me for how emotionally-charged this review is going to be. I’ll explain why later on.

So, The Wisdom of Mental Illness. I requested it from NetGalley specifically because, as a mentally-ill person, the book’s allegedly about people like me. Of course I’m going to need to read it. So, how does it measure up?

Yikes. There’s some positives here, but precious little. The author does a decent job discussing the (frankly awful) American pharmaceutical industry and how it relates to the usage of psychiatric medication. My perspective? I do agree that many psychiatric medications suck.

While we can do better, I’d expect little else from the corrupt pharmaceutical industry. I’m thankful for Seroquel when I needed it, but am equally grateful I didn’t take it long term. I would hope that the future brings better options for people like me.

While Hughes seems to think the use of medication implies or depends on a biological model for mental illness, I disagree. The drugs are volatile and unpredictable, but many can be useful, regardless of whether they “cure” the illness or not.

I’m open-minded about drug use, even some of those awful laboratory chemicals. I also think the lines between self-exploration, cure, and alleviating symptoms (all three) can blur significantly at times, depending on the substance.

The author discusses what he calls the “pathologization of normal life.” This idea gets tossed around a lot, especially in books like this, and especially in the past few decades. It’s almost entirely a fallacy. It doesn’t really hold water.

True, something like “social anxiety disorder” sounds (to neurotypicals) like a universal experience rather than an actual condition. The truth is that when social anxiety becomes pathological, those suffering often get brushed off, not needlessly pathologized. Even getting other people to acknowledge there’s a problem (and get them on board with your recovery) can be extremely difficult.

Why? It’s primarily because of misinformation like this. If people think psychiatry is “pathologizing” normal experiences, they’re much less likely to take it seriously when a loved one expresses depression, anxiety (or even mania).

Most people with mood and anxiety disorders (like myself) have had the experience of someone saying to us, “everyone gets sad sometimes,” or “<I> get nervous sometimes, too, but I don’t treat it as a disorder,” etc. This response has become so common that we (people with mood and anxiety disorders) often joke about it, and how frustrating it can be.

It is true that, in cases of psychosis or suicide attempts, a person can be (sometimes) forced into treatment, but only if they’re dangerous to themselves or others. You won’t be locked up for normal human behavior that’s been “pathologized.”

As many neurodivergent folks know, even obtaining basic mental health treatment can be difficult if there’s not a perceived crisis point. Here in America, there’s a critical shortage of all mental health professionals - psychiatrists, therapists, social workers, and then some. This is especially true in rural areas, and it can lead to situations where someone (in crisis) waits six months for an appointment with an already overtaxed mental health professional.

With few people able to afford comprehensive (or even basic) mental health services, it’s hard to argue that we’re all at risk of being “pathologized” for our quirks.

Interestingly, it seems there’s not as much discussion of mental illnesses that aren’t either mystical shamanic psychosis or Jungian deep dive depression. Some of the other authors providing accounts have experienced illnesses like anorexia nervosa, but this is framed as resulting from said Jungian depression or societal pressure interfering with shamanic awakenings.

The author claims that there’s an epidemic of “narcissism” and entitlement because of selfies, social media, and participation trophies, though. Those darned millennials, no doubt! Not a particularly original, nuanced, or insightful take. I half-expected him to bring up avocado toast! I guess that particular illness (narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness, after all!) doesn’t contain Hughes’s preferred brand of wisdom.

Some of the other authors who contributed do mention eating disorders and other experiences. It’s worth noting that some of these people seem to be former clients of Jez Hughes who came to him for “shamanic healing.” Many of them had terrible experiences with psychiatry, and it’s not my place to invalidate the healing they found elsewhere. Still, in a way, these folks are self-selected; you won’t find stories from people like me in here, because that’d torpedo the concept.

In a way, the book is a sales pitch for Hughes’s particular means of coping with mental distress. When Hughes highlights the abuses of modern psychiatry, it’s mostly to set up his “shamanic” alternative in a positive light. He puts a bit of effort into attacking the more biological claims of psychiatry, too. Specifically, the author claims that there’s “no evidence” that mental illness gets passed on in genetics.

Uh. The evidence is actually quite clear that it does have a genetic component.

Some will argue that any evidence of a genetic origin could just as easily point to a traumatic origin for the illness, given that trauma bonds are a thing within families. I do believe there’s an element of that in some cases, but there’s overwhelming evidence of an actual genetic component in many cases.

Hughes, on his website and elsewhere, namedrops the science of “epigenetics” to explain why some people need to come to home for ancestral healing. This isn’t a well-understood field, but it doesn’t undo the evidence we’ve seen of a genetic component.

When every child in a family (including those raised elsewhere) end up experiencing the exact same alternating cycles of depression and elation, you do have to consider the possibility that bipolar disorder could be passed down from family. I’ve definitely seen it in my own family, but the stigma made it hard for people to openly discuss.

In many instances the author describes how psychiatry makes people think they’re broken or inherently devalued due to having a diagnosis. Hughes seems to, in particular, associate this with the chemical imbalance theory of mental illness. And, he’s right - that sometimes happens. The stigma’s real.

He wants to do away with that stigma by reframing mental illness as “shaman sickness.” The problem is that it’s a false (and dangerous) dichotomy. It’s perfectly possible for us to acknowledge we have a diagnosis (chemical-inspired or otherwise) without automatically jumping to the conclusion that it means we’re broken.

We can accept our neurodivergence and love ourselves, even if we’re popping meds rather than living out the New Age movement’s romanticized notion of madness. While it may not be the intention, his approach does contribute to existing stigma.

But, once again, as I’ve said before, this is all just a way to set up psychiatry as the devaluing inquisitor so that Hughes’s “shamanic” alternative seems the only reasonable choice for someone wishing to keep their sense of self intact.

If you’re seeking other (in my opinion, better) books on mental illness, psychiatry, medication, and that sort of thing, I’d say this one pairs well with The Day the Voices Stopped as a counterpoint, and Muses, Madmen and Prophets as a better take on the subject in general.

Before I go, I think it’s wise to just be blunt here. I have a lot of trauma surrounding people trying to convince me my mental illnesses were spiritual in nature and interfering with my treatment because of it.

Several times I ended up in life-threatening situations. If this review is a bit “off,” that’s why. You can say I’m biased, but maybe that’s a good thing. I’ve seen where some of this can lead.

I also suppose there’s a conversation to be had about the definition of “shaman” and just what constitutes a “British shaman” (Hughes’s title of choice) here, but that’d be for other people to discuss. I think it’s not really my conversation to have. If you actually know anything about that, feel free to LMK.

Thanks for reading this book review, and apologies if it came across as emotional!