#Imagine having that one member who's devoted to the bone

[reestallized]

Uuuh I think the Survey Corps has one very fucked up member do you agree

Bonus version as a Valentine's card

[dehydration-stati0n]

Yandere!WhiteBeard Pirates x Reader HCs

If you have another member you want me to add, please feel free to ask! These were just the ones I could think of off the top of my head :)

Rules Word Count: 1.4k Spoilers: None TW: Yandere Themes, slight non-con?, abuse

Whitebeard

The ‘overprotective and overbearing parent’ trope

He’s the one who most likely got you roped into him and his sons’ obsessed grasp

convincing you with promises of a loving family and protection from anyone who would ever want to harm you.

He doesn't have any punishments for you and prefers to leave it up to the others (Marco and Ace)

He would refuse to let you leave the ship under any circumstance, and if he does allow you to leave, he makes sure you're within someone's sight

Unlike the others, he doesn't see you in a romantic light, he sees you as one of his children

He recognizes that he likes you in a different way than he feels about the rest of his sons, but he just kinda chalks it up to you being weaker and way more defenseless than the rest of them.

It's how he justifies his possessiveness over you too. You just need more attention because you can't protect yourself

He'll have your biological family killed, whether you were close to them or not

Why would you need them when you're real families right here?

He has everything he could ever want right within his grasp, and he'd gladly give you it all as well, as long as you obey them

Play along and you might even find being with them enjoyable

As intimidating as Whitebeard can be about where you go and who you're with, he’s a fairly laid-back guy

Do whatever you want whenever you want. The main thing is that you're not leaving the crew in any way.

Stay within sight of someone and you’ll be fine.

Marco

Whitebeard got you on board, but he’s who convinced you to stay

he’ll tell you that you have a sickness of some kind and he just so happens to have the cure, although, it’ll take some time to fully take effect so stay a while! Relax! He and the rest of the crew got you covered :)

I imagine him being very easy to talk too

He'll snitch on you if he catches you or you tell him about doing something out of line tho

He's ridiculously manipulative

He'll guilt trip you for literally anything

"We've given you all this and you're just going to leave? Don't you think you're being selfish, yoi?

Marco is really clingy and likes to hold you in some way.

Usually, he’ll wrap his arms around you or hold your hand.

Not afraid to chain or tie you up to keep you still

he also isn't afraid to break a bone in order to get you to stay, although it's more of a last resort for him

Very regular checkups that are definitely not meant to allude to anything sexual at all, it just always seems to happen to go there coincidentally

Works with Thatch a lot to drug your food

He honestly just loves taking care of you. It makes him so happy when he can fill some sort of caretaker role.

Ace

He's the most violent, either to you or others

He has a bit of a jealous temper when it comes to you and sometimes his emotions just get a little out of control

He'll apologize after, surely you understand why he did it.

He just wants your full, undivided attention, and why would you want to pay attention to anything that's not himself?

He’ll probably put a tattoo on you. Whether that be the crew's symbol or some other sign.

He likes that you have that permanent mark on you to show your gratitude and devotion to your new, loving family

Ace can be violent and jealous, but he’s also extremely oblivious?

Like he notices everything and nothing at all

He'd notice someone flirting with you but then wouldn't realize you're trying to leave if he found you halfway out the window with all of your stuff

It's 50/50 whether he catches onto something or not and you have to pray that he doesn't notice

You’ll have little burn marks all over you from when he’s gotten out of control. Thatch hates them and always scolds Ace for doing so. Marco doesn't mind since it lets him spend more time with you in the infirmary.

Your only scapegoat for him is his sporadic sleep habits

If you catch him while he's asleep, you can have a solid 10 minutes by yourself.

He likes throwing little parties for you on the ship, he really does want you to feel comfortable and safe with them and this is how he goes about it

It's always a lot of fun and he makes sure that he's near you so you don't feel nervous or awkward.

Thatch

the sanest?? Least self-aware??

he’s also gonna be the nicest

Unlike Marco, he will not tell Whitebeard about anything 'bad' you did

Refuses to hurt you in any way, it makes his skin crawl just thinking about him causing you pain

He'll even cook for you! Anything you want. Just tell him and he'll do his best to make it perfect :)

Sometimes he'll drug your food so he can admire your sleeping form

He loves taking care of you while you're asleep

He'll bring you a blanket as your head rests on the kitchen table then he'll sit right next to you and watch, occasionally brushing strands of hair out of your face. Sometimes he might even gently style it for you.

He follows you around like a lost dog

Wouldn’t be opposed to you putting a leash on him

He’d honestly do anything you asked of him, even if it meant killing one of the others

He's suffocatingly clingy and always just seems to be nearby. You can rarely leave his sights.

He absolutely adores the size difference between you two and will constantly hold you in his much larger arms

Every once in a while he'll ask if you want to sit in the kitchen with him while he cooks. He likes to talk to you and especially likes it when you ramble on about anything to him

It's great cause you could rant about how you hate being on the ship and would apologize, laugh it off, and not tell anyone

You'll most likely end up being closest with him due to how friendly and peaceful he is to you

Izo

Izo is very loyal and loving until you disobey one of them in some way

He gets almost emotionless when he's mad and it's terrifying if you're on the receiving end of it

He loves showing you off, especially if you're wearing things he gifted you

Those gifts always consist of jewelry he found or bought. No price is too much if it's for you after all.

He expects you to wear at least a couple of gems at any time. If you don't he gets a little upset and insecure.

"Do you not like it, my love? I can get you something better if you'd like. You can even come with me if you'd prefer."

Some of the jewelry he gives you has little trackers so that they could better find you if you ever managed to escape.

He’d buy you kimonos and stuff too

Really likes to introduce you to his Wano culture and also just loves seeing you in more traditional outfits

He's a samurai and as such, he'll act as a sort of bodyguard for you

You can be the respectable ruler and he'll be your fearless protector

Like Thatch, he also would refuse to harm you, but he has no problem getting Ace or Marco to do it for him

He has zero tolerance for others in public and if he thinks their getting too close or sees them as a threat in any way, he'll kill them right there in front of you

He'd do pretty much anything if it meant you were safe

His loyalty lies with you above anyone else and even though he'll get the others to punish you for your actions, he wouldn't punish you for speaking your thoughts on the entire situation. If anything, he's touched you trust him.

He's very strict about that code of his. He will only ever have you punished for your actions and NOT your thoughts.

[faefaye]

Locus Minoris Resistentiae

So I have this WIP fic for Azik and Klein that I don't think I'm ever going to finish and thought it'd be better to post the two snippets I do have here on Tumblr :p.

I haven't really canon-checked it like I do with my posted fics, feel free to leave concrit.

-

Summary:

Sia Palenque Eggers is devoted to the cause. Which is why, no matter how confused "She" is, "She" won’t ask about the man who appears around Death Consul Azik. "She" definitely won’t ask why the Death Consul behaves so– so warmly around him.

(or: the AU where Azik fuses with the other half of his soul after all, Klein is his anchor to humanity and the Numinous Episcopate has no clue what’s going on.)

i.

If one thought back, the first sign of oddity was probably the letter.

Sia remembered it with crystal clarity.

It had been two weeks since Death Consul Azik Eggers had returned. There had been rumours of "His" appearance in the high seas a few months before that, alongside a crazy adventurer, and it was followed by events like the calming of the Berserk Sea and the breakdown of the Artificial Death project, but nothing had come of it.

Then one day, the Death Consul had returned to the Southern Continent.

Even if “He” was a Sequence 2, making “Him” technically on the same level as Sia, “He” was the direct descendant of Death. “He” was the figure around whom the remains of the Balam Empire would rally without question.

Sia didn’t even need to think about giving up “Her” position as the head of the royal family faction. As a mark of “Her” devotion, “She” had even – if somewhat reluctantly, no one else needed to know – handed over the Grade 1 Sealed Artifact in “Her” possession. The Sequence 1 Beyonder characteristic it held would no doubt serve better in the hands of the Consul.

“He” had called for a meeting with the other descendants of their family, to discuss what "He" had missed in “His” millenia away.

They were halfway through their reports when there was a change in the air. Being members of the Death pathway, they had a spiritual intuition even before a fountain of bones had sprung from the ground next to the Consul and arranged itself into the form of a four-metre tall skeleton.

It respectfully knelt and handed over a folded piece of paper.

The Consul took it and, without giving a look to the rest of them, "He" started reading it.

Sia couldn’t see the contents nor would “She” dare to peek, but “She” could clearly see the Consul’s face. The cold emotionless stare flickered with a change that was too subtle to be grasped.

Then “He” took a fountain pen and spare paper, penned down a short note of “His” own–pausing after a few lines with that same flicker of expression again–and handed it over to the messenger who promptly vanished.

None of them asked any questions. The Consul gave no answers.

-

ii.

While that may have been the first sign, the next was undoubtedly the most notable.

Sia knocked on the office door, having a report to make on the handful of rogue factions that still refused to yield to them.

There was a silence that stretched for a dozen seconds before the Consul’s clear voice rang with, “Enter”.

“She” stepped in.

The first thing “She” noticed was that the room was dark. One would imagine that to be the aesthetic of an inverted mausoleum, but they actually had gas lamps in almost all the rooms, and the Consul’s office was no exception. In fact, it probably had a few more than the rest.

The second thing was probably what “She” should have noticed first, but one could forgive "Her" for completely skipping it, because there was no way “She” was actually seeing someone curled up on the couch, right?

“She” opened "Her" mouth on instinct, then forced it shut, instead shifting "Her" gaze to the Consul in wariness of causing offense. “He” had already caught what "She" was looking at – it was impossible not to.

Before “He” could say anything though, the person on the couch sat up and asked with the barest traces of sleepiness, “Mr. Azik?”

Sia startled. Mr. Azik? Who did he think he was talking to, his friend? Did he want to be turned into a corpse? "She" awaited how the Consul would deal with such insolence.

…except “He” didn’t bat an eye at it. In fact, “He”...

Sia wasn’t sure “She” could trust “Her” own eyes. If “She” didn’t know better… the Consul was smiling? It was like watching snow melt under a beam of sunlight or, to be more accurate to the person, a corpse rot under the sudden influence of heat. The Consul was a being only a step below Death. "He" didn’t smile.

“It’s been almost three hours. Have the negative effects dissipated?” “He” asked.

The man nodded. “The effects last just two, actually. I should get going. Thank you for letting me stay.”

The Consul shook "His" head… fondly? “It's nothing. I’ll temporarily lift the protections against the spirit world here.”

The man nodded, then pulled at the air, retrieving a skin-like glove. He wore it and vanished.

Sia was half-tempted to hurt “Herself” and check if “She” had just experienced a dream or an illusion.

“She” didn’t, because the Consul turned “His” gaze on “Her”, back to its usual dispassionate state. “He” lit the lamp on “His” table and asked, “What do you have to say?”

“She” forced herself to put aside all thoughts of what "She" had just seen.

[destroyerofnations92]

“Much had been written about Daemon Targaryen – brother to a king, husband to a queen and father to yet another queen – and even more had been said of him, but none could deny the devotion to his blood.”

Chapter one of my completed five-chaptered House of the Dragon AU/Fix-it has been made public for all readers. Go have a look!

If you like what you read, for only $10/month+VAT you get early access to every single one of my stories, chapters/months in advance to regular (free) members and those on other websites, like AO3.

A short snippet below 👇

*****

Darkness was falling over the isle of seahorses, now overrun by dragons, and the drunkenness had done Aegon no favours.

And yet, when a shadow fell over his narrowed eyes, he managed to heed its glaring warning, “Who goes there? Brother?”

The kick to his legs told him it was not Prince Aemond Targaryen in whose presence he was. No, it was a far more malevolent spirit. It was the very man who haunted his nightmares and his waking hours both—Ser Otto Hightower.

“Get up!” and now the Hand kicked him in the ribs, harshly and excruciatingly expelling the air from his lungs.

It was easier to think of Ser Otto as merely the Hand of the King, rather than his mother’s father—his own grandsire. After all, what kind of grandfather degraded his grandson as he did?

Another kick and yet another stab of sharp pain rang through his body, making his lungs seize and the breath catch in his throat.

“I told you to get up, boy,” Otto hissed at him, “You are a disgrace.”

Aegon was unceremoniously pulled up by the hem of his tunic and blearily stared into his abuser’s eyes.

“You are a disgrace to your house!”

A backhanded strike to his jaw and eye made his vision go blurry.

“Your father is weakening by the day and here you are drinking yourself into a stupor whilst you should be proving as to why you are the only true choice he has for his successor.”

“Rhaenyra is heir,” a defiant Aegon slurred.

If he could have seen through the blurriness of the tears and his intemperance provided, Aegon imagines he would have seen his grandfather bristle as a bull. Nose flaring and eyes bulging, as they tended to do when the Hand of the King set his eyes on his eldest grandson.

“Rhaenyra is a spoiled girl who has no respect for the traditions and customs of our people and our lands. The lords will never accept her as queen. Women are ill fit to rule, besides,” Otto spoke in that same haughty voice of his, still clutching Aegon’s tunic, “You will be king. The lords of the realm will see it no other way. I shall see to it no other way. House Hightower has worked more than a century for this. You will be king.”

“I will not,” and Aegon spat out the blood that had accumulated in his mouth.

He imagined a few drops had hit Ser Otto’s dark tunic, embroidered with golden thread. Even at a funeral, his grandfather had to look as if he was the one who was king, rather than his servant.

Yet another slap to his face was followed by a violent kick to his ribs, causing Aegon’s head to smack against the wall of the outdoor staircase he had been hiding in.

Aegon awaited yet another barrage of kicks and slaps, followed by some disparaging remarks, as had become the norm since his grandfather had returned to the Red Keep to serve as Hand once more.

Where before it had been his mother alone, who may have smacked him across the face once in a while, now she had been strengthened by Ser Otto’s return to the capital, as well as his sister fleeing to Dragonstone.

A loud rustle had Aegon bracing himself for the agony to come but nothing came. Instead, there was a loud yelp, followed by a flurry of punches. The prince would recognize that haunting sound anywhere. The unnatural meeting of flesh over knuckles meeting with the hard bone of a man’s visage.

Yet, it was not Aegon being punched.

*****

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[estevnys]

wip wednesday yippee (WIPpee?)

okay this isn't oc/bg3 stuff like i maybe wanted to but its my person project and i just :) like them and want to share them. i am trying to be More Annoying about my OCs so that maybe i will be feel better about myself.

this is the prologue of my novel in progress.... obviously put it below the cut bc its long.

here is my special girl(tm) cami. imagine if you are god. but also god is right there in front of you. but also you are going to replace him. just the worst gifted kid syndrome you could possible imagine

Prologue

26 years ago.

It was a simple fact that Cami told herself every morning: she knew what it meant when you were told to worship. The steps were simple, carved into her bones at this point, weaved into the lace of her dress. She could recite her prayers and sing along to a thousand different hymnals at this point. Every day of her life, she had paid homage to power greater than her. Every day of her life, she was reminded that she was a vessel of something greater. It was, undeniable then, that she also understood what it meant to be worshiped. After all, she was no ordinary member of their clergy. She had been trained for a greater purpose, born for a greater purpose than any of those around her truly understood. For better or for worse, she was everything their people needed-- the next in line for leadership, the golden child, the focus of their idolatry and the embodiment of their hope for the future.  

In this moment, she was kneeling at the altar, staring up at the eye of their god, and it was alive. Which was particularly upsetting, for a girl of twelve, who had been told her whole life that the aforementioned god was dead, missing, or some combination of both.

Those around her were singing in well-practiced harmony, their voices echoing around the chambers of the Grand Cathedral in a great and lovely cacophony. Even as she sang along with them, she could feel their eyes on the back of her head, tracing the line of the softly glowing halo around her head, the perfect ringlets of her golden hair that Isadora had spent hours curling this morning, the silk of her new dress. There were a hundred pairs of eyes on her at any given moment, stripping her bare with their simultaneous judgment and reverence. She kept her eyes forward. She could bear the weight of their gazes. She had for this long, and she would do it forever if that was what it took to earn their devotion. She was special, just like the Herald said. She could do everything they could do and more. She was given the best meals, the finest dresses, all deserved and all in thanks for the burden of being the one to bring their god home to them. He was waiting, biding his time, and Cami would spring him from his proverbial, or perhaps literal) prison, and they would all be grateful for it. If she had to be a girl of twelve with only one friend, a girl of twelve with a thousand secrets spilling out of her head, a girl of twelve with the weight of heaven upon her back, so be it.

The first time he spoke to her, she had been eight or nine, no more than a babe in the eyes of those around her, but chosen all the same. No one would believe her then, so she had kept her mouth shut. They would have said the Herald was playing favorites, that she was exaggerating and desperate to be the best and brightest of The Herald’s pupils. Even if she was the brightest, which was without a doubt was, it wasn’t their concern. Nothing spread quicker than gossip through the congregation. So she had kept silent. Truthfully, she had thought for the longest time that someone was fooling with her. Mindspeak was forbidden during service. Everything must be laid bare, The Herald always said, we must hide nothing from our god. 

What if your god was what you were hiding?

Her knees were beginning to ache now, the hard marble of the kneeling bench digging into the delicate flesh of her knees. She shifted ever so slightly, a practiced motion since girlhood, though she was not much past that. When no tap to her shoulder or swat to the back of her head came, though, she breathed a sigh of relief as the pressure on her legs lifted ever so slightly. She repeated the correct Verses along with the rest of the crowd from her position beside the Herald, eyes closed and breath shallow. As she pretended not to feel the source of her discomfort looming over her left side, Cami felt the voice of her god creep into her mind.

He never truly spoke, but his messages usually consisted of one of three things: distorted images of forests and other places on the ground that she had never been to, so bright and luscious she was sure they were not real and instead a depiction of paradise. They certainly were nothing like the rigid and organized gardens of her home, where plucked-bare trees grew in straight rows, twisted into great statues by Haven’s many talented gardeners. Sometimes he sent pictures of people, though they were not like her. They were ugly, somewhere between man and beast, with scaly faces and sharp, fin-like ears. Sometimes there were no images, only a strange sense of longing that grew to a pounding headache behind her eyes. She pondered often if perhaps he was speaking some sort of language, and she just had yet to learn it. She had scoured all of the books on the Old Tongue in the library and found nothing that stood out to her.

This time, the picture was of a babe-- it’s round, chubby cheeks pinched and probed by a bodiless hand. She tried to decipher the message but came up with nothing beyond a foreign warmth filling her cold body. She turned the image over and over in her head, trying to piece it together with the other things he had sent her previously.

Are you lonely? Cami sent back to the great shape in front of her-- an ovular shadow blocking out the light from the chandeliers floating above them, the size of man but nothing like one. I’m here. If it is a child you need, I will be so. She figured he must be, after all, what good was a language when no one else could speak it? What good was a family that worshiped and loved you if you could not speak to them? She would be lonely too, if she had no one to talk to. At least she had Isadora to accompany her wherever she went, even if her lady’s maid was forced to be her friend. I’m here, she promised, I’m not going anywhere.

She cracked open her right eye, the one out of view of the Herald, so slowly she was sure no one would notice, glancing to the center of the altar. She repeated her words, sending them floating through the air to him, looking towards the dead-and-missing-god, hoping he could hear. She imagined them piercing the shining surface of his cage, embedding themselves like the arrows the guards fired at their training dummies in the courtyard below her window. She would stare at them for hours, watching and wondering if they knew. If they understood– their god was right here with them–why wasn’t anyone else listening? Perhaps no one else was worthy after all, just as the Herald said. He never lied, even if it was hurtful. It was bad to lie to your family. Every lie was a stone in hand, and eventually they would send you toppling over the edge and falling down to the ground below. 

But she was strong. She would bear this burden, the heaviest rock she had carried. If no one else was worthy, then she must be. For her mentor beside her, for the crowd behind her, and for the source of their faith before her. As service ended and they bowed their heads for a final time, the Herald took her hand, cold palm in cold palm, and guided her out of the Grand Cathedral and back towards home. She sent a final, hurried thought back towards their missing-dead god, a quiet reminder, a ritual all her own. It was the same two reminders each time, a desperate attempt to pierce whatever barrier was holding him, and so he might not forget: I hear you. I love you.

[eqbcny]

Why Boxing?

This is the first question that comes to everyone’s mind when they think about it.

Here are some but not all best physical benefits of Boxing.

A killer cardio workout that burns some serious calories real fast, improves your hand-eye coordination, helps build shoulder boulders, improves Bone Mineral Density, increases the endurance & stamina, enhances cardiovascular health, tones & shapes the body, and improves total body strength. These are few to be mentioned. Anyone involved in boxing knows of its power – particularly among working-class kids – to improve health, education, community cohesion and to lower crime.

You hear it all the time: You need to do cardio to protect yourself from heart disease, burn calories, and lose or maintain your weight. There are not enough promoters of boxing as a sport in the modern world. It’s a stressed-out world out there and boxing training really helps you to decrease stress level. Also, you must exercise to improve body composition out of the sedative lifestyle of young people. Easter Queens boxing club is known for its Athletic Training and Conditioning.

Boding experts have pointed out some important benefits for kids as well in the age group of 5 year to 15 year. Boxing focuses on agility, speed, quickness, balance, and hand-eye coordination, Confidence Building, Health and Proper Fitness, Self-Defense, Good Eating Habits, Higher GPAs, Staying out of Trouble, Humility and Patience.

What do boxing coaches look for in a boxer?

It is difficult to find a good boxing coach that gets the best out of you in the ring through his training out of the ring. If we think about a good boxing coach, he must possess the ability to work with fighters that vary in style, size, age, and experience. They will be able to analyze your strengths and weaknesses, then plan a training strategy. A coach will train you to augment your strengths and develop, improve upon and eventually eradicate your weaknesses.

How important is a boxing coach?

There is a famous saying about boxing “Behind every great boxer, there is a great boxing coach”.

Finding the right boxing trainer for you is essential to improve your boxing ability and to continuously develop as a boxer. In fact, trainers are so important, most professional fighters often have multiple coaches specializing in different expertise.

One more question can pop into your mind in this case, that is, do you need a boxing trainer?

Let me clear it for this sport, one cannot become a pro boxer by self-training with no trainers, You can’t. You must have a trainer to be able to do it right. You must also be able to spar unless you like to fight your imagination.

Something about trainers, what to consider while selecting a trainer. A great trainer must have a mental and emotional connection with the fighter, feeling what his fighter feels, and being able to see what the fighter is seeing. Trainers don’t give up on their boxers, and never let them feel unappreciated and incomplete. Remember one thing, a trainer who is in it for the quick buck is not a good trainer.

Same time you need a great boxing club to train yourself. You will never learn how to box without joining a boxing club/gym. A good, equipped boxing club is as much important as a good, experienced trainer, it can be even a friend who has experience from boxing trainings and fights, so he can correct you on your mistakes on boxing mitts, a lot of sparrings to learn how to react to a moving living target, but alone? No chance. If you want to be a recreational boxer, any gym that has a boxing program will do, but if you really want to devote yourself to the sport, you’ll have to find a good gym. Eastern Queen boxing club is one of the great places in the USA to join and get trained from experienced trainers to transform yourself into a professional boxer.

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[rfaromance]

Could you do an MC who had a bone marrow transplant? I had a bone marrow transplant last year and it would be very comforting imagining the RFA members being there. Thank you! :)

Hello! Quick note from mod here saying I hope all went well and you're feeling alright now! 🥺 The RFA has a way of making the scariest days feel much better, when you think about them loving you across time and space.

I'll put this below the cut in case anyone needs a TW for medical procedures & hospitals!

Yoosung is surprisingly proactive and involved. He wants to learn as much as he can about the procedure, including post-surgical care, because he wants to ensure that his beloved MC is safe and sound! He went to university with the mindset of becoming a veterinarian, but he doesn't know as much about human health (and he hasn't exactly been going to classes). But he knows the pain of losing someone dear to him, and he's going to do everything in his power to take care of MC. He can't be in the room during the procedure, but as soon as he gets the all clear? He's coming in with games to play, with a pillow to rest on, with a home-cooked meal that he researched to try and make something safe! He's going to be like a puppy dog protecting his person.

Zen doesn't always understand the gravamen of serious medical procedures, because he recovers like a monster. But he knows MC needs his support, and he's going to do his best to be supportive. He's like a mother hen when he's worried, doting and nagging and very protective. He's asking every 10 minutes if MC is okay. He's accompanying MC for any and all subsequent transfusions. He doesn't go more than an hour without telling MC "You're so beautiful, so wonderful, so precious to me. If I'm God's mistake, you're God's blessing." Perhaps a little overbearing, but he means well!

Jaehee can and will fight Jumin to adjust her hours so she can devote time to visiting MC. She's also the type to dote on someone who needs care, and she'll probably bring work to the hospital with her, but staying in the same room as MC for company. She'll bring Zen DVDs, too, insisting that his acting can heal one's spirit while the doctors take care of MC's body. She's also going to be proactive in bringing fluids, medicines, and healthy food. She's not accustomed to having friends, and she's not going to slack off when it comes to tending to someone dear to her.

Jumin is keeping all possible tabs on MC. Ideally, he'd want MC in a hospital owned by C&R so that he can access the doctors and know schedules more easily. But he's going to make personal appearances too. He's not the best at comfort, but he has a silent and comforting presence. Something about him just sitting beside MC, even if he's just giving books to occupy their time or brainstorming ideas for another cat-related endeavor that will probably make Jaehee cry, is reassuring. He's the rock of the RFA, the one who keeps calm and provides stability when nobody else can. He doesn't break down until he knows everyone else is accounted for. So if his brows seem furrowed as he's with MC, they should feel safe enough to hold his hand. He needs it. "Don't worry. I want to hear more. Tell me about the security cats." At least he's keeping the doctors accountable and making sure MC's follow-up appointments are at the best possible times.

707 is the one who's going to be joking his way through his anxiety. He's going to make awful puns, hoping to get MC to crack a smile. "You know, this situation is almost humerus! Haha, I'm just ribbing you." But he's definitely sticking cameras in that room. Tiny ones. He's keeping all possible tabs on that room as he can. He knows being out and about in public is risky, but he'd risk it all for MC. Don't be surprised if he brings a little robot for company, too. Think of Meowy, but with a stethoscope. He's a cat guy, but if MC prefers a different animal? Dr. Dalmatian. Nurse Narwhal. Michael Moose, MD. There to check MC's pulse and blood sugar and all the works.

[chubbyduumpling]

Our Days were numbered

SPOILERS FOR CH 138-139

(Y/N’S)’s POV

“Look, the bones are gone. The rumbling has stopped too.”

Jean spoke up “Is Eren..dead?”

Mikasa grunts out in pain.

Falco lands dropping us off. Gabi runs off to reunite with her family. People scream out looking for survivors and their families.

“It’s not like I have regrets but we did the right thing, didn’t we? We stopped the rumbling.” Connie asks

Reiner’s mom came to speak with us, I think her name was Karina. She spoke of how Mister Leonhardht led the people here.

“That shining centipede…” Gabi spoke up

“Reiner..where are they?” Connie said with curiosity

“Armin” Mikasa gasped out.

I look up to see Armin’s colossal titan climbing out of a pit.

“REINER” Gabi screamed out

“He’s okay” Jean mumbles

“Hey look!! Over there.” Connie yells

“What the hell is that thing?” I question

“Who knows, all I know is we can’t let it live.” Connie replies

Another loud explosion goes off in the distance. Another colossal titan appears, but with long hair similar to Eren’s founding titan.

Eren…

“We can’t let that thing get in contact with Eren!There’s no telling what could happen!” Gabi shouts in urgency

“It could start the rumbling again. That thing.” Connie speaks up “WE’VE GOT TO KILL IT!”

“How are we going to kill something that survived an explosion just now?” Levi asks

“We need to go for Eren.” Levi points out

“You all understand by now right? This nightmare won’t end until we take him down.” I add

A mysterious smoke starts enveloping the air around us.

“The smoke is coming from that shiny thing.” Gabi points out

I stick a hand out to hold her back. “Don’t lean that far forward you’re going to fall.”

“Did it die?” Mikasa asks

“No. That’s not the smells of a dead titan.” Connie replies “Isn’t this the same thing they did is Rakago?”

“The gas.. No..they wouldn’t” I question

All of our eyes fill with panic instantly.

“Mikasa! Pieck! Get on Falco! Get away from here!” Levi yells out

Pieck doesn’t move. “What are you saying?”

“Ackermans and anyone with the power of titans are exceptions. You should know that better than anyone.” Levi states

“No.. this is too much for me” Pieck choked

“HURRY UP!” he yells

“I love you.” I whisper out for no one to hear. No goodbye. As I looked into his grey eyes one last time I could tell he didn’t want to do this. I watch him and the other fly away trusting the future of humanity to them.

I pull Connie and Jean under my arms trying to protect them for the world one last time.

“So this is how it ends for us?” Connie contemplates.

“ Guess so.”Jean answers “We’ll entrust them with the rest. That’s what it means to die as a member of the Survey Corps.”

I flick them both on the heads earning a responsive “ow” from the both of them.

“Boys, that is no way to talk.”

“Heh, sorry Squad Leader.” Jean apologies

“Cut the titles. We are all the same now.” I say

“Do you remember, Jean? The night of the entrance ceremony?” Connie asks

“Yeah” Jean answers

“You know this is all your fault, right?” Connie continues “That we ended up stuck with the job of saving humanity.”

I close my eyes taking in my last moments alive. All I hear is explosions.

Levi’s POV

I look back. Titans everywhere. Everyone’s gone.

I’m sorry I had to leave you behind Y/N. I never said goodbye. We didn’t have the time. I wish we did. I already regret my decision.

I saw Reiner tackle that glowing centipede. Is he trying to buy us time? Pieck jumps off transforming to go assist Reiner.

I hear Mikasa grunt out in pain.

“Mikasa! Stay with me here! We’re the only ones who can kill Eren” I yell at her

“Eren’s inside the mouth.” I state out

“I’ll do it.” She admits “Everyone back me up.”

“Understood”

We both jump off. I aim a thunderspear at the mouth of Eren’s titan blowing a whole in the teeth. This gave Mikasa a big opening to go in and kill Eren.

The next thing I remember we were falling to the ground.

(Y/N’S)’s POV

The next thing I know I’m lying on the ground. A different type of smoke is coming off my body.

“ Am I human again?” I question

I sit up. I see Reiner and Jean. Gabi, Connie. They are alive too. So I’m not imagining things..

Levi…

I stand up looking for him.

“LEVI!!” I scream out loud enough to lose my voice

I scream out his name hoping he responds. I didn't even notice tears streaming down my face. I must look so stupid. My voice begins to start sounding raspy. I must be losing my voice.

I finally found him perched up against a rock, legs not able to move.

“Levi! Levi?” I yell out

“Y/N! Oh my god you’re alive. I thought you died back there.”

I cut him off pulling him into a tight embrace making sure not to affect his injuries any further.

“I’m here, you’ll never lose me again.” I let go putting my arm over him and putting my head to his shoulder. He lifts his head up to point to something.

“You see that?” he asks

I look up and see the ghosts of all our fallen comrades. Hange, Erwin, Levi’s Old squad. The rest of the veterans. That’s when I see them. My old squad.

“Guess this is the result of all your devoted hearts.” I hear him say

They all salute. Me and Levi bring up our fists to do the same. The last two veterans of our generation.

I hear him start to cry. I joined in with him.

“I'm sorry I left you back there without a goodbye.” he apologies through his tears.

“I forgive you. You did what was best. But if you pull shit like that again I will not hesitate to punch you.” I say with a hint of amusement in my voice. We sit there just with each other's presence.

If you want to run

To a quiet place

At the end of the world

Just run with me

-Alexandra Vasiliu

[imanonymousfanfic]

How do you think the strawhat would be with a crewmate who has a cat (or like three) ?

I am so sorry this took so long to answer. I've had university deadlines.

Anyway

This is my personal take on the characters. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I had fun writing this. Thank you anon ❤️

Luffy would LOVE to have cats aboard!! Luffy would be giggling childishly after hearing the new crew mate has cats, unless that’s why he asked for them to join in the first place (no surprise there). Since it’s Luffy, and he’s oblivious as hell, he’ll probably do a couple things that would get them feisty, earning him a good cat fight. He’d end up looking like he does after Nami has a go at him. Luffy’s love will go on endlessly, as they’re not part of the StrawHat family. Before the cats can explore the ship, the idea of teaching the fur balls some “cool tricks” will come up, maybe even plotting to sneak some meat behind Sanji’s back. Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t... probably not, knowing Luffy. He’s good company for them, a good partner to play with if he has a feather stick. You will find them resting on his belly as they both nap in the sun on Sunny's head. And without a doubt, ass will be kicked if a single whisker on their faces is touched out of malice.

For a brief second, Zoro will question the cats safety: traveling on water, but at the end of the day it’s not his problem… kinda. Despite his stiff “cool guy” exterior, the swords man would definitely jump in after any of the cuties that have gone over board. He will angrily mutter about their reckless climbing and playfulness as he rushes them out of the water. I mean he does the same for Luffy, so what’s new? He’d give them some small here and there, nothing too special. Their compatibility will really shine when they crawl all over the man during his meditation, they will have fun tapping at his gold earrings, and as much as he would like his silence, the cats company will make him smile. There’s no doubt about it, Zoro loves them, he just expresses his affection to his crew own way. They’re part of the family and their silly antics will make his night shifts a lot more entertaining.

Sanji will ban any cats from the kitchen right away, which is entirely understandable. Cats shed like crazy and don’t think about where their paws have been. They would knock over things carelessly, even on purpose at times when they want attention. That will irk Sanji. Should it ever happen, though, he’d take the opportunity to show off his cool moves in front of Robin and Nami. His envy would melt the man, seeing them curled up in the ladies laps too, but that’s just Sanji being himself. Since are respectable for the most part, and for this reason Sanji wouldn’t treat them any less than he would the rest of the crew. He’ll work hard on their meals, spoiling their little toe beans off.

Chopper will be the CUTEST with cats, he will be befriend them on an emotional level much faster than the others as he’s one himself. He’s in tune with them, and since he’s a doctor, he will be eager to pick up on veterinary studies to care for them. You will find him often studying their anatomy, even physically studying the little fur balls himself. He’d play with them lots, mostly with him originally chasing them, but knowing Chopper, they will turn that around. You’ll catch Chopper reading books with the cats crawling over him and covering his desk. An adorable sight to see.

Franky is definitely more a dog person, but he won’t reject the adorable purring of a cat. He’ll walk around with one or two of them perched on his shoulders, the height and the stability of Franky is a fun place to hang out. They see lots, and he’s a fun person. When not busy, Franky will take a moment to give out some pets, maybe even making some kissy noises at them. He’ll incorporate some kind of play pen or netted area so they can play safely. You’ll definitely catch him blubbering emotionally about them at some point. It’s Franky, after all, he’s a ginormous softie. When maintaining the ship, he’ll keep the cats locked away for their safety, all the heavy materials and tools could be dangerous, and the last thing he wants is them hurt while they get a little too curious. Let’s hope whenever they crawl over him, none of their claws have a scratch at his banana hammock.

100% Robin is a cat mom, calling it immediately. She’s elegant and has that cheekiness that cats posses too. She likes to soak up some sun, explore her surroundings to understand them better, and is intelligent with a talent in sneaking around. Robin confirmed to be a human-cat? All jokes aside, Robin’s companionship with the cats is calm, just like how many of them like it. They’d be spoiled with lap cuddles, and her devil fruit will make sure none of them are left feeling jealous. Her and Chopper will be often spotted hanging together, or helping the vet check ups.

For some reason, I have a hunch Brook is scared of cats and his hair would pop off seeing them. He’d jump behind one of the crew members, his bones rattling loudly as you hear his cheerful voice pronounce his fear. Luckily for him they’re not dogs, his femur would be gone in seconds if they were. He’d be nervous around the little things at first but with time he will open up to them. Seeing how the crew plays and cuddles with them will make him step out of his comfort zone, and next thing you know, they’re huddled around him as he plays the violin. Music, after all, is calming for cats. He will have his own furry fans to give him all of the love, which will warm his heart (if he had one).

Nami will think they’re super cute, but wouldn’t be quite as enthusiastic as some of the other crew members. That’s just Nami though. She’d definitely be cracking some skulls if you hurt any of them, and she’s a very protective cat mom. She might not be the super cuddly type, but she doesn’t care about them any less than the rest of the crew. She’d save a little bit of money on the side for some nicely made collars, which will be a BIG deal coming from her. They’d be gold plated, or something nice along the lines which is definitely her way of showing affection. No matter how cute they are, however, they won’t be caught in her cartography space - their paws are chaotic and Nami needs her maps to be pristine. As cute as inky paw prints are, she rather not have them.

Usopp will talk to the cats a lot, befriending them like they’re any other person. Even though they can’t understand him or his exaggerated stories, they’re entertained by him no matter what. He’s enrapturing, able to hold their gaze as they get lost in his enthusiastic tone. They sure feel playful around him too, his goofy behaviour is exactly what they need, but they might end up chasing him across the ship with how much a coward he can be at times. With his ingenious building skills, he’d take the time to make them some cool toys, a crazy laser, a feather toy, who knows what Usopp has up his sleeve. Oh, the ideas are endless and Usopp’s designs will be spoiling their tails off. If only Sniper King is able to see how adorable they are… *wink-wink, nudge-nudge*

As I’m not fully caught up and his character to me is still quite hard to write about, I will try to capture Jinbe to my best understanding of him.

I imagine him to find great companionship with cats, understanding their free will, but sense of loyalty they have. Unlike dogs, who are loyal to nearly anyone, a cats sense of loyalty is out of a devoted love they choose to share. Jinbe holds a similar integrity with the relationships he choose to be a part of. Naturally their natures of being are opposites, as he’s a fish man, strongest when in water, while cats run from it. They share a wholesome companionship. If it isn’t Zoro first in the water to save them, Jinbe will be the next to be a kitty rescuer.

[killerskillercaptain]

Peace of mind part 2 / 2

pairing : Levi Ackerman x Reader

word count : 3,206 K

summary : you’re the captain of your own squad, and you have a habit to go spend some time alone in a cabin located near the young recruits quarters. One day, you found Levi there who didn’t mind your company.

themes : deep talks, rain, maybe new beginnings, feelings development (on your side at least), slight interest from Levi’s side if you squint hard enough, life choices, fears, insecurities.

warnings : tw astraphobia (extreme fear of thunder), mentions of death.

You can read part 1 / 2 here

“Oi, why are you leaving? Isn’t this the place you come to for some “peace of mind” ? “Yes, but you’re here now” you replied in a quiet yet steady voice. “And i’m ruining the view for you” ? He asked looking at you nonchalantly. His tone was sarcastic, his eyes pressed you for an answer.

«Looks like it’s going to rain »

When the captain let out these words, it wasn’t long before cold droplets started to spill one after the other, soon the cabin was draped in watery curtains, making you and the captain take a step back to avoid getting soaked.

If you wanted to get back to your quarters, it was already too late for that, as the rain intensified rather quickly, both of you have been a bit too slow to react. But then again, who could have anticipated such a heavy rain in this time of the year.

« Dammit, i think it’s best to wait. We’ll get soaked down to the bone if we walk under this downpour»

You let out a small « yes », both startled and worried by the sudden change in weather. You were rather...uncomfortable being trapped in here with Levi Ackerman even though your mind was running with reprehensible scenarios right now .

Let’s face it, you always had a thing for the man, even if your only interactions with him consisted in you admiring him quietly from afar and frankly, you’d imagined you’d be thrilled by the idea of being stuck alone with the captain, but you were in such a state of unease right now because of the weather that you couldn't really care about that right now, because generally, heavy rain also meant-

Your thoughts were cut abruptly by the mention of your name.

You actually heard your name ?

Levi was facing you, and had just called you by your name. Not in a million years would you have thought he has it registered in his mind. He said it again as to carefully confirm he was not mistaking.

« That’s your name right ? »

«Yes » you let out in a breath, a little confused.

As if he was reading your mind, taking notes of your interrogative expression, he answered your inner pondering.

« I asked your superiors for your name not long ago. You may have heard of the initiative by now, Erwin and i are in the process of creating a special squad that i’ll be leading. Details are still confidential, but i can tell you that i have been granted complete freedom in selecting the members. »

He paused before continuing, focusing on you.

« and you might be in it »

For a moment, you forgot how to breathe and your mind went blank with the new information. You did hear something of the sort, but you did not imagine Levi considering, well, you. You'd imagined you need more than just skills to impress him. You did give your heart and soul to the cause, you chose to be a soldier, you didn't get thrown into it, you also made the conscious effort to be better and more effective on the battlefield. And right now you, were having a hard time believing that your efforts were actually paying off. Levi’s devotion and dedication served as a fuel to your own, and here you were, both of you discussing the possibility of working under his direct orders. You felt your stomach flutter, it was impossible to tell if it was from fear, anticipation or anything else.

You ignored the feeling when Levi broke the silence again.

« I’ve seen your ranking and your score since you enrolled in the Survey Corps. A few years ago your skills weren’t the impressive kind, but with time you managed to outgrow yourself. Forty titans taken down solo and more than thirty taken down in team, now that's impressive, so i went and asked for your name. »

The thought of Levi walking up to your superiors and asking specifically to be given informations about you made you feel a certain type of way you couldn’t quite pinpoint at the moment. He must also have asked Keith Shadis you thought then. That man always held you in high regards, and you were grateful for it. You never caused trouble, you were discret but efficient, you started to convince yourself that you were indeed, worthy of Levi’s interest, additionally, he did like quiet and efficient people.

The cabin was getting extremely cold with each passing minute, and you were still stuck with no sign of the downpour stopping any soon.

You started shivering, you were both in uniforms, with only your military jackets to keep you warm, neither of you brought your cloak.

If he had his cloak with him, would he offer it to you to keep you warm ?

A bright dash of light appeared somewhere far away but close enough to brighten the interior of the cabin.

Lightning ?

Your heart started pounding voraciously in your chest, and you were afraid Levi was about to witness a side of you that you were afraid might change his mind about you. Not noticing your hands that already started trembling, anticipating what’s to come, you swallowed a thick lump, trying to ground yourself on the wooden structure.

Levi seemed to notice the change in your demeanor but brushed it off. You stayed quite the whole time, you didn’t say anything at the news he just handed you.

You tried to pin your attention on the captain and what he just said, you tried to compose an answer to give him, or maybe just keep a thread of conversation going, but when you opened your mouth, a blasting sound echoed all around, followed by menacing vibrations in the air. The start of a thunderstorm, the sound was as if the sky got torn in half and soon enough, a harsh light spilled through and painted the entire scenery white for a second.

Instinctively you pressed your eyes shut at the sound. When you opened them, you were one inch away from Levi, gripping at his clothes for dear life, as if you were afraid to drown in the harsh light.

As if you were afraid to die.

Your fingers digged so hard into Levi's shirt beneath his jacket that you were positive you were leaving marks on his skin. When you realized what you were doing, you quickly backed off, body still shaking and lips starting to quiver.

« I’m so sorry Capt- »

Another thunderous blow tore the sky a second time, and this time you ducked on the ground with your two hands covering your ears, your eyes closed so hard that little watery pearls started forming at their corners.

To you, it seemed like it was going on forever, and then, you heard Levi pronounce those words you hated to hear about yourself.

« You’re afraid of the thunder ? »

Yes, yes you were

As horribly embarrassing, childish and pathetic as it was, you were.

Since you were just a child, the sound of the sky tearing up was something that made you unreasonably vulnerable. But you couldn’t help it, such an irrational fear was beyond your control and you were fortunate that a thunder erupting during a storm wasn't a very common event inside the walls.

In the rare occasions where it did happen, you felt your mind losing its grip on your body.

You didn’t answer Levi, you couldn’t focus on him, you just kept the palm of your hands pressed flat on your ears to try and hear the least possible of what was going on outside. You knew nothing was going to happen to you, you knew your body shouldn’t be trembling in this way, but you couldn’t reach your mind in these moments and ask of it to calm down, and this is what scared you the most.

That’s it. You thought

The only thought that emerged in your mind for a moment was how pathetic of a side you were showing levi at this moment. Just after he confessed he was thinking about you joining forces with him in fighting for humanity, here you were, scared out of your skull, and out of your control by the big scary sound in the sky.

He’s probably gonna review his opinion of you.

He's probably reviewing his opinion of you right now.

He probably thinks your not fit to fight under his orders.

You kill titans by the dozen.

But here you were, scared of the weather

Sitting down, you had brought your knees up against your chest now, ears still covered, you moved your hands a little as the sound seemed to have ceased only to put them back on quickly as the sky screamed and shook again. You had opened your eyes just to close them again in terror. In terror how pathetic.

You didn’t here Levi shift or make a move until you felt the hem of his jacket poking at your forehead. For a second, the sound stopped and you opened your eyes to Levi who took off his military jacket and handed it to you.

« Here, put it over your head, it will muffle the sound »

Out of surprise, and still a bit shocked from your tourment, you mechanically took his jacket and covered your head with it, pressing the fabric over your ears as the sky screamed again. It was working, you felt as if you were underwater, you still heard everything, but it sounded so far that you felt somewhat safe, only then did you realize that Levi did what he did.

He didn’t threw an insult at you telling you to get your act together

Instead, he silently offered some comfort, acknowledging your fear,

Validating your fear.

The hellish concert went on for three minutes. Three long minutes during which the sky threw a tantrum with unrealistic vibrations rippling through the air, as a shrieking wind joined in the outburst.

A lot of things happened during those three minutes, Levi coming to sit next to you on the ground, waiting for the storm to pass, and you getting intoxicated by the scent of the inside of his jacket, Levi’s jacket. This is what Levi smells like. You thought.

You were glad your face was covered as you felt it flush. Sure there was a faint note of sweat, but hey, you were soldiers, and soldiers sweat. But you could also recognize different other scents all converging into something you found extremely pleasing, almost soothing to you; a bit musk and something that resembled a type argan oil, you inhaled in silence, taking it all in shamefully. The feeling of being almost afloat under his jacket, the storm seemingly far away, as if you were cut from reality, only being able to breathe Levi's scent, the thought of him soon consumed you, leaving you feeling light-headed.

It was the closest you had been to Levi, since all these years, working together from afar; since you saw him for the first time when he proved to be everything but someone coming from the underground, both in manners and values, since the time you used to watch him ruffle Isabel Magnolia’s hair and feel that ache in your heart that grew more and more hungry.

When you watched him giving the hardest time to the young recruits

When you watched how loyal he was to Erwin, always present by his side watching over their mentees.

When you watched him from a distance, putting his horses in their stables, and staying a little longer to care about them and give them small gestures of affection

When you watched him sitting alone, by himself sipping his tea, holding his cup in his strange little way.

When you watched him accidentally sleep in the stable, on a bench, on a chair, so many times, while hesitant-and scared- subordinates would shake him shyly to wake him up.

When you watched him, from this cabin.

You liked climbing up this cabin, it was quiet, calm, but mostly, you could watch Levi all day long without him even realizing it.

You liked the cabin because watching Levi from a distance was calming to you.

You liked this cabin because observing Levi put your mind at ease.

When you found him up here, you turned heels as quickly as your heart started thumping on your chest, ready to live right away. You knew, soon enough that it wasn’t mere admiration for a comrade, it was more than that. Observing him from this cabin, you realized you wanted to rest a hand on his shoulder and tell him to go rest, the more you looked at him, the more you wanted to touch him, to feel him. There was so many things you wanted to tell him. Thank you for doing so much, you’re killing yourself go have some rest, thank you for bearing the weight of shielding humanity against its terrors, thank you for devoting your life, please take better care of yourself, we need you, we love.

I love you

Just know you have someone who cares so much for you.

Who wants to be by your side.

So badly.

But never did you approach him enough to have this much of him. Sure, you had your exchange of words and your eyes met on more than one occasion, but it was all wrapped in formalities, it didn’t feel human enough.

This

This feels human,

Him handing you his jacket felt human

You crumbling in front of him in all your pathetic glory was also human.

Now all you could think about or feel was Levi, you chewed on your feelings while trying to imprint in your head the only thing you got from him, this memory.

You suddenly felt a forceful tug, his hand was trying to move the jacket, you released your grip as soon as you realized that he wanted to take it off of you. The thunder had stopped for good, there was no roaring, no blasting echoes anymore. Just the quiet sound of the rain now. You loosened up, stretching your legs in a timid relief, your body trying to adjust to the now foreign calmness.

The captain didn’t say a word, and you stayed quiet as well.

The rain was quietly softening and the air was seemingly less cold, you realized your body had stopped shivering at all.

« I’m so embarrassed you had to see me like this Captain» you confessed broking the silence.

« Don’t be. Every fear has its reasons, even irrational ones »

You really thought humanity’s strongest would be repulsed by such a sight, he required people to be always strong or so you thought, but come to think of it, he always acknowledged human unescapable states like fear, regrets and sorrow., especially when those were almost inevitable on a battlefield. You never seen him dismiss any of those emotions when he witnessed comrades and soldiers experiencing them, even outside off the field.

« Do you...have any fears Levi ? »

You called him by his name, your question had a personal undertone to it that it required you to, or so you thought. And you couldn’t believe you actually had the courage to ask the strongest soldier alive if he feared anything.

« Regrets »

You turned to look at him, he was looking down at his jacket, his white shirt slightly wet from the rain it caught, you felt a little guilty witnessing that. You didn’t have a clue what was on his mind right now, but saying that, Levi was thinking about all the soldiers he lost under his commands, his two only companions he lost because of the choices he made, everything he lost, everything he couldn’t get back and everything he have regretted but decided not to, because he feared that if he’d let those regrets slip into the crevices of his mind, he’d never recover from it.

« I think it has been fairly gossiped about, but i lost my two truest and most loyal companions, i let them choose for themselves even though i wasn’t confident with that decision, it ended up horribly, but it was also my choice. It was my first time outside these walls, and also the last time i saw them alive. I feared regretting all of it, i feared the disappointment with myself was going to swallow me whole, but someone...someone who refused to succumb to their demons taught me once how dangerous it is to surrender to regrets, they can make everything loose its meaning in a blink of an eye. I used to fear sleeping on an empty stomach, i used to fear that stealing and killing would be my only reason to live. Now i fear everyday for my soldiers life, but what i fear the most is the regrets i could have, if you let them overpower you, they can make you believe that everything amounts to nothing.

Putting his palms on the wooden wall behind him, Levi pushed himself up, putting his jacket on, arms sliding slowly into the sleeves you were protecting your ears with just minutes ago.

« That’s why i make the choice, every waking day, not to regret any of my actions »

« So you don’t see me as a weak person ? »

« You killed forty human-eating monsters all by yourself, i don’t call that weak. As long as there is no thunder while you’re killing them i think we’re good »

You chuckled a little, your face already a bit brighter.

« It already happened Captain, and i did just fine, seems like it doesn’t affect me when i’m concentrating on something bigger and more frightening »

He was already heading for the door, your eyes following the black and white wings on the back of his jacket, he stopped just before going down the stairs.

« I’ll see you tomorrow at Erwin’s office for some paperwork regarding your new responsibilities »

You watched his figure disappear like it from your view like it always does, even though you were just been announced you’re gonna be working while being even closer to the threat now, you never felt happier. Yes you will be closer to the danger, but you will also be closer to Levi, hoping you could watch over him and maybe just maybe protect him as a token of your love. Be it from your admiration or your strong feelings, you knew your devotion to him had no boundaries. He wasn’t only humanity’s strongest in spilling blood and cutting flesh, he was also humanity's strongest for having a heart equally as great as his strength, but the world had yet to give him credit for that.

Listening to the creaking of the stairs as he went down, you couldn't help but remember when you found him in the cabin, staring at the sky. “And i’m ruining the view for you” ? He asked

You aren’t ruining the view

You are the view »

[catxsnow]

DREAMING OF YOU D.W.

Request: hiii can i request an angsty older damian fic where he and the reader broke up but are still very much in love? maybe based out of the song "dream a little dream of me"? the ending is totally up to you!

Warning: angst

A/N: Lol I’ve been so preoccupied with the Halloween prompts I keep forgetting I have requested fics in my drafts. Anyways, I don’t know if this was exactly what you wanted but I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 2.2k

Damian Wayne was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Damian came into your life when you were at your lowest. He was the one that helped you to climb out of that never ending pit that you were stuck in. He made you see the good in the world and that you could still find your own happiness. In the end of it all, you found happiness in him.

It was the little things that you found joy in again. Waking up early enough to see the sunrise. Ice cream on hot summer days. A walk in the park with Titus. Fresh produce from a farmers market. It was those things that drove you to see the light again, all because Damian was willing to stick by your side.

You started planning your life again. Finishing your last two years of your university degree. Buying a new apartment that wasn’t in the slums of Gotham. Reconnecting with family members that you hadn't talked with in months - some even years. You wanted a fresh start, and you had created one.

Damian got you back on track without even realizing it. He gave you hope for the future. Life with him was perfect. You couldn't imagine a future without him. He bled his heart and soul into your relationship, just as you did. Damian was the best thing to ever happen to you. 

Until he wasn't.

The secrets, the lies, it caused fights between you. Damian hid part of his life from you and you couldn't understand why he was being so protective of it. You had opened yourself completely to him, and he couldn't be bothered to do the same. He loved you, there was no doubt about that. It was whether or not he devoted himself as much as you ever did.

You began questioning your entire relationship with him. How much of it was built on his lies? What even were his lies? The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you had only scratched to surface of who Damian really was. You didn't know anything about him, and he didn't want to tell you. He couldn’t.

Which led to the hard decision of whether or not you were willing to keep a relationship that was so one sided. How could you love someone when they were only willing to show a certain side of themselves? The answer: you couldn't. You loved Damian, you would forever. But it came down to the ultimatum of showing the real him or leaving.

Apparently Damian never loved you as much as you thought he did. He was gone by morning.

For weeks your dreams were plagued of him, mundane dreams that felt so real. Him waking you up for the sunrise that shone so perfectly into your window. Instead, when you opened your eyes, grey clouds were all that you could see. The days weren't nearly as pretty without Damian there to share it's beauty with you.

The bed was no longer filled with love and warmth. It was cold, you dreaded getting into it. His side was empty, though his smell still lingered no matter how many times you tried washing it away. Titus' fur would be found in your blankets and a random toy stuck under your couch. He probably missed you more than Damian did.

You swore you saw Damian everywhere after your breakup. At the drive through of your favourite fast food place, the park where you used to sit together, hell you thought you saw him at the grocery store. Damian didn't like grocery shopping, he never went. You felt delusional with seeing him everywhere.

At night when you were alone on the streets, you felt an eerily similar presence as him following you. Sometimes at night that same feeling would draw you towards your window and stare out of it in hopes to see his familiar green eyes. You were disappointed every time.

You never wanted to break up with him. You hoped so desperately that you could have worked things out with him. He was perfect for you, and you to him. Being without him was killing you inside. You missed his love, his smile, his touch, even that adorable little tick he had. TT. You hated when you picked it up and continued to use it without him.

You didn't know it, but Damian was a bigger mess without you.

He missed you more than he ever missed anyone or anything in his life. At home he was quiet, only keeping company with his pets. He refused conversation with his father or Alfred. Dick couldn’t even get through to him. Being back in the manor was something he didn't imagine himself doing. Yet, here he was.

His night life became more violent. He didn't have a fear of holding back his punches anymore because you would never find out his secret. His fucking secret. That was the reason that you were out of his life. Knowing that he was Robin? He didn't want to taint your beautiful life with that.

More times than not he would watch over you. Whether it was when you were walking home or at your apartment. He just needed to know that you were okay. Okay and alive were two very different things. Damian learned that very quickly. Without you, he wasn't sure if he would be okay ever again.

Damian craved your kiss. He didn't realize how lucky he was to even have a small peck here and there until it was taken away from him. There was nothing he wanted to do more than to rush to you and tell you how much he missed you. To hold you in his arms one last time and kiss you until your legs gave out.

He  had dreams of you at night. Dreams of you laying in his arms with a smile on your face. You would tell him about your day and how much you loved him. He felt the warmth of you until the moment he woke up. Then, it was nothing but coldness. A dark, lonely room without any sign of you.

You were the best thing to ever happen to him.

It was that moment when he decided that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. If he cared about you enough, he should have been willing to let you decide if you wanted to stay in his life after knowing his secret. If he wanted you to be with him, then you were going to have to learn it one day.

It seemed easier to hurt you now, than it would have to be hurt by you after knowing everything he had done. Damian took the easy way out. He should have fought for you, trusted you with his secrets. He couldn't let you escape him, not while there was still a strand of hope.

Damian launched himself out of bed. It was nearing two in the morning but he didn't care. He needed to see you right now. He raced across the city on his cycle, passing all the streets in a blur. The way from his father's home to yours was etched into his brain. He could have made it there with his eyes closed if he so wanted to.

The kickstand on his bike was barely pulled out and his helmet thrown to the ground. Damian ran to your doorstep and feverishly knocked on your door. He was most likely to wake you, but it was worth it. He was ready to spill his heart and soul out to you and plead for you to take him back.

To his surprise, you opened the door relatively fast. You looked so effortlessly beautiful. A pair of shorts on a bag shirt - his shirt. Your hair was sopping wet and it was clear that you had just gotten out of the shower. Bags were under your eyes and you looked like you hadn't slept since your break up.

You stood there, mouth agape, unsure of what the hell he was doing at your door step at two in the morning on a Wednesday. It was raining out, Damian's hair matched your own. He was soaked to the bone and his clothes clung to him. A desperate look was on his face.

"Damian..." You breathed out. He looked like a wreck. Creases around his eyes that had never been there before were evident. His hands trembled at his sides - though that might have just been from the cold. "What're you doing here?"

"I needed to see you," Damian started. His heart clenched at the sight of you. "I needed to apologize for everything that I did, for keeping things from you. I was so scared that if you knew the truth about me that I would lose you."

"You lost me anyways, Damian," You shook your head. He was the one that decided to walk out on you after you were willing to put in the work. It was Damian that made that decision, he lost you because he choose to. All of this was his fault and only his fault - the secrets he kept, the choices he made.

"Please, please just let me explain everything," Damian begged. He didn't know if he could ever live with himself if you turned him away in this moment. "If you want me to leave after, I will. You'll never have to see or hear from me again, just... I can't go on anymore knowing that there's someway that I can try to fix this. That there’s still a chance of getting you back."

You crossed your arms over your chest, debating whether or not you were willing to be hurt by him again. Damian was the love of your life, he would always be the love of your life. Letting him explain himself too you, that was either going to be the ticket he needed back into your life, or the closure you finally needed. Or something far worse.

So, maybe mistakenly, you opened the door wider to let Damian in. Your home hadn't changed much in the weeks that he was gone. It was messier, but otherwise identical. Several picture frames of the two of you were turned down, but not put away. His hoodie that he left behind was still strewn across the back of the chair.

He thanked you as you handed him a towel. Damian sat on your coffee table directly across from your spot on the couch. He paused for a moment, wondering where to begin and how far back he needed to go. If you were going to take him back after that night, you would deserve to know everything.

For now, he started with his arrival in Gotham City all those years ago.

He told of you his life with his father, his brothers. The teams that he had been on and the struggles that he had been through. Damian told you of his hardships, his dreams, his failures. He told you of the times that he had lost all hope and the times that you had given some back to him.

Damian told you everything there was to know about his life as Robin.

By the end of it, you were in tears. All those times that he lied to you about what he was going or where he was going, his 'business trips' for his father, they were all because he was risking his life to be Robin. Damian was a hero, and you were too oblivious to even notice. You were so focused on his lies that you didn't want to see why he was doing so. Everything he did was to protect you.

Damian reached forward and wiped away your tears. He didn't want to see you upset from his. Your bottom lip trembled. You felt horrible for being cruel to him so many times because you didn't know the truth. Without another thought, you leaped into his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," You sobbed against him. Damian kissed the top of your head. He cupped your cheeks, making you meet his eyes. His gaze flickered down to your lips for a split second before looking back to yours. It was a subtle way of asking if it as okay. You answered by initiating your long awaited kiss.

The weeks apart left a yearning for you both. This kiss was the one thing that both of you craved most. The tenderness of it, the love that fueled it. You felt like you were going to combust from how much you missed his kisses. Your dreams of him kissing you were nothing compared to this.

"I love you," Damian pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. He was petrified to let you go again, scared that you wouldn't come back this time. Dreams of you would never be enough for him. Damian needed you like he needed air. "I can't live without you. I dreamed of you ever night."

"I wished upon the stars every night hoping that you would come back to me," You confessed. "Please don't leave me again."

"Never, beloved."

[dailycharacteroption]

Black Asp (Monk Archetype)

 Normally, the association between monks and poison is their resilience to it. However, for a select few, they instead make use of it.

The Black Asps are a monastic tradition that use their training to kill, rather than achieve enlightenment. Still, they are set aside from the likes of ninja by their focus on their ki and on bare-handed combat.

What’s more, these assassins typically learn forbidden ki techniques that aid in their assassinations, which almost certainly marks them as heretics by the standards of other ascetics.

Very little information is given about the sort of orders these monks belong to, but given they retain their lawful alignments, I’d imagine the majority hail from orders that seek to find balance through order and control of all beneath them and their client leaders, silencing upstarts, rebels, and undesirables. Many may have been started by disgraced students of more benign schools who were more focused on the power that ascetic training could bring rather than the rewards of enlightenment.

Regardless, this archetype is built to be compatible with both the standard and unchained monk without any homebrewing, so that’s also a nice touch.

 Poison is a key part of a black asp’s arsenal, so they learn to apply it carefully to avoid poisoning themselves, and even learn the adder strike technique for applying poison to protected parts of their striking limbs.

They also gain the option to forgo more traditional ki powers in favor of the forbidden techniques associated with their path. The first such technique lets them secrete a supernatural poison made from converted ki, afflicting those they strike.

Another allows them to devote some of their daily ki to making their minds concealed from others.

Magic auras can sometimes give away a hidden assassin, so one of their forbidden techniques helps mask the presence of such magical advantages, and even comes with an improved version that makes them nearly impossible to detect.

Finally, another technique lets them blur their personal image, making it harder to pin them down in a fight.

Interested in a monk that uses poison and sneaks around? This archetype might be for you, but remember that it can be hard to reconcile a non-evil member of the archetype. Stealth is of course your biggest friend here, and you’ll love creeping up on casters and high-profile targets, controlling the flow of combat with them.

 I imagine that these monks are regarded poorly by other monks due to their ways, but I also imagine that while no doubt some pay their ascetic peers no mind, I can imagine that among those black asp schools that were formed by ostracized former students, the student body of those monasteries might inherit quite the chip on their shoulder against their “weak” contemporaries.

  A kobold ambassador was found murdered, beaten to a bloody pulp and bearing clear signs of poisoning. The culprit is an assassin hired by a human supremacy group who have no interest in allowing “lesser” races to mingle with humanity, as well as any excuse to start a war of extermination on the little dragonlings, who demand justice.

 In a faraway land, a clan of large-eyed and wide-mouthed monks are the de-facto leaders of a small coastal village. In truth, the monks are in fact deep one hybrids exploiting the town on behalf of their piscine family, but their ascetic skill is no deception, and they are more than capable of breaking bones and delivering the venom of the most toxic sea creatures with their strikes.

 Despite having been born in their monastery and growing up with their ways, Shaji was horrified the first time he killed in the name of the asp clan. Now, the young acolyte is on the run, desperate for a teacher who can show him a different path.

[ephemerlskies]

constant craving 03 | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

[other members - seokjin]

⇢ genre: drabble series, ANGST, bestfriend!au, unrequited love, the same idiocy just in a different font 

⇢ word count: 4k

⇢ warnings: explicit language, alcohol consumption (drunk jungkook makes his first and final appearance enjoy it while you can), vehicular misdemeanor (drive the speed limit kids), an all out emotional and verbal brawling, a lack of communication on one end and a communicational vomit on the other, seokjin appearance for about .02 seconds, the entirety of this is just.... angst

⇢ summary: your dates with Seokjin had become a somewhat consistent fixture in your schedule, however, jungkook's itinerary seemed to clash with yours when he called you after a night of drinking for reasons you assumed to be him helplessly pleading for a safe return home.

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: whew, okay.... this was probably the most argumentative fic i have ever written so prepare yourself. i hope you all enjoy this god awfully angsty installment of the series! also, yes, jungkook is a sentimental drunk and you all know it

part three: i love you

It's true. It's always the biggest pills that are the most difficult to swallow. And if you could compare someone as elusive as Jungkook to anything, it would be the largest pill imaginable. The kind that hurts the first try, then when you drink half your body weight in water, the Jungkook-emblazoned pill forces down your esophagus no easier than the first gulp. You were still holding it in your mouth, pretending that pill wasn't about to dissolve and stain your mouth forever.

And that was the whole process, just to get over Jungkook. Because getting over him wasn't a one-step program. It was waking up everyday, training and retraining your mind not to think of him first thing in the morning. It was resisting the urge to press the send button on multiple texts and funny videos you knew would make him laugh. It was refusing his calls and every memory that would saunter in your mind and compel you to ask him to watch a movie or order takeout.

It was saying yes to Seokjin when he asked you on a date. And, it was doing your best to sever that instinct of yours to ask Jungkook for advice.

But old habits die hard, and this one still clung onto the bit of breath it wielded. That explained why your idiot of a best friend was sitting on your couch, offering half-hearted nods whenever you would walk out draped in a new outfit.

"Okay, this one?" You twirled around, as if doing so would make you any less skeptical of how you looked. And you were never one to scrutinize your appearance so closely, but this was the date. The one that might light the torch to a brighter romantic future and lead you to someone other than the man who could never be yours to begin with.

"Yeah. Cool." At this point, five outfits in, he wasn't paying any attention at all. He couldn't even bring himself to pretend, his eyes lazily fixed onto your dvd player.

"Jungkook, you didn't even look! Let me guess. You wanna play video games. Is that why you're giving fuck-me-eyes to my T.V. set?" You knew a laugh was far along, but you hoped that would get some sort of reaction out of him. Unfortunately, your words were barely registered for a good ten seconds, though, it felt much longer.

"Hm? Oh, sorry. Just tired, I guess." Jungkook said through barely parted lips. You knew when he couldn't even pronounce his words properly, something he took more seriously than others due to the hauntings of a certain speech impediment, there was definitely something wrong.

Things felt off from the moment he walked into your house. Judging from the way he avoided your hug, that alone suggested a sort of imbalance. It was a casual greeting exchanged between the two of you so often that when you lifted your arms to embrace him, it was born of reflexive association. Like Pavlov's dog, trained to hug him the moment you saw him. But the oddity of him almost discretely walking past you before any contact could be made wasn't where the tension bordered.

Following his arrival, he would have littered a few snarky remarks about how messy your kitchen was, while already scavenging through your fridge, just to get a rouse out of you. And Jungkook wouldn't call himself a connoisseur of all things fabric and fashion, but he surely would have a few thoughts consisting more than two-worded responses. But he just sat on your couch, armed with a face any poker player would commend, and gave you insincere cool's or nice's when need be.

"Okay, what's up? Is it Irene?" You sat down since taking a break to figure out what Jungkook was thinking felt better than continuing your self-absorbed fashion show.

"Kinda... We broke up. Well, she broke up with me or... I don't know. It was weird." It bothered you a bit too much that he didn't even look at you. But if he had, then you would have seen a film of red dousing his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Kook. Is there anything I can do? Anything at all? Want me to egg her house?" This time, he did laugh. You felt relieved he could at least ease slightly back into his expressive self, even if it was just a fraction of what he usually was. A fraction of Jungkook was more than enough for you.

"Nah, no need to go to jail for me. It's not like I didn't see it coming, and apparently she felt the same. Whatever." He let out a sigh that sounded trapped in for a while, then sat up. "We have more important things to worry about."

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe that. Jungkook, literally a week ago you told me she was the love of your life! And now you're just like 'yeah, whatever, I saw it coming.'" You used your notorious 'man voice', which was just yours lowered a few octaves, knowing it would crack another smile along Jungkook's lips. "Come on, I know you love her. This must hurt a lot. I wish... I wish there was something I could do."

You knew exactly what you were doing. Self-sabotage under the guise of consoling your friend. Clearly, it was selfish and regressive to use Jungkook's heartbreak as a means to avoid doing what you could never do before, what you knew deep down you probably would never be able to do: swallow that pill. And what felt even more pathetic than that was the stale, yet persisting hope that he would ask you to stay.

And that's when reality gave you the most gutting and obvious sign. Jungkook was your best friend, the man you had to lug home when he was too drunk to drive, let alone speak coherently or stand. He was the person that buys you ice cream when you're sad, but just as quick to cancel plans with you when Irene needed him. He was just a friend. You'd never be the person he chose, and it nearly made you angry at him for not seeing it all this time.

So, what he said next made everything he was most likely unaware of all too clear to you.

"No, you go have fun. I'll just... chill here?" It was his avoidant way of asking to stay the night, because you knew him to never sleep alone when he had an ache in his heart. "Maybe raid your pantry and use your Netflix account to binge some shows?"

"Fine. Only 'cause I can't say no to you when you're like this." His smile was reimbursement enough for all the food you'd have to restock and the electricity bill that would be higher than usual.

But what he did next, you could almost never forgive him for. It was so subtle, as though it could have passed as an accident or an act he was trying to perform secretly, without any intention of you even noticing. And how could you not notice? The far too temporary and entirely disarming linger of his hand on yours.

Now, you were always one to decipher his most subtle mannerisms, but this one felt beyond the reins of your perceptiveness. It could have been a small gesture of a thank you, but the gentle, and what one could even describe as sentimental, way his skin pressed against yours bore no semblance of a mere expression of gratitude. And it wasn't possible this was a caress of love, because he was already low on currency in that field, spending it completely on Irene.

So, what was it?

How would you describe the way he rested his hand on yours, as if asking you to stay without words, yet punctuating it quick enough to justify it a coincidental form of contact, that your hand just happened to be where his hand was?

"Well, I'm gonna go eat through my problems." Jungkook stood up before you could bat away the wetness in your eyes from your momentary refusal to blink, as if that would somehow help you visualize the meaning of what just happened.

"Oh- Okay. I, um... I should get going." So you did. You walked out your door, and made a decision beyond the demands of your devotion to Jungkook.

Because it probably meant nothing, and he was your best friend, after all.

---

It was easy with Seokjin. And surprisingly enough, that wasn't a bad thing.

You had come to realize everyone craves that passionate kind of love because, in the movies, that's the blueprint for what love should feel like. But that's all it is, something pretty and shiny enough to work into a film. Make believe. And it could never extend beyond the realm of silver screens, where best friends don't magically fall in love and passion awarded more broken hearts than you could count.

Besides, your heart was worn.

See, your heart is a muscle. It works itself to the bone keeping you alive, willing your lungs to breathe, administering blood to each vein and so on. To strain it for someone who was already in love was functionally inefficient. The heart, like any other muscle, grows tired. It can exhaust itself the same way your hand aches after writing for too long.

You needed a break from the gripping emotional aerobics that is and was loving Jeon Jungkook. So, it sufficed that Seokjin was easy. No more overexertion, no more aches and pains and residual soreness occupying your chest, no more of any of that. Because you knew Seokjin liked you, which was safe and easy knowing there was no point mapping out the possible meanings of every inflected word or shrug or smile. They were simply words and shrugs and smiles with him.

And yet, the thing about giving your heart a 'break' is the period succeeding it. When you were finished resting, you knew who would be waiting for you. Who you would always wait for.

"___! Hello?! I can't hear you! It's too loud!" It wasn't really that loud, your idiot of a best friend was just that drunk. You couldn't tell what concerned you more, the fact that his hearing degenerated when he was, from the sound of it, seven shots deep or that this was the third of alcohol-induced call for this week.

"Where are you?" You asked through a sigh, eyes trained on your Twitter feed and ears occupied with the urgent voice blaring through the speaker phone.

And since it was the third time this week, you were not even half-amused by the repetitive stunt he was pulling.

"I don't know... I walked out and now I'm out and I don't know." The hiccup following his messy sentence was comically textbook 'too drunk'. “Hey, we should take a trip! We should, like, go somewhere!”

“The only place you should be going is home.”

“See, I would totally do that, but I have no idea where I am. Why are these street signs so hard to read?” The end and beginning of each word blended together, rendering that sentence one long, slurred word.

By now, the step by step plan synthesized by you had been memorized. And even though you labored your brain to rewire any feelings leaving you at his beck and call, it clearly hadn't been proficient since your keys had already been gathered and his whereabouts programmed in your GPS via his location services.

"You're so annoying." It might have been rude of you to want him to feel guilty, but it was just as rude of him to interrupt your one night off, which was supposed to be spent with Seokjin, with his intoxicated antics. "I'm coming to pick you up."

"Yo- u are? I love you sooo much. You're the best friend ever, ya know that?" Overly emotional professions was your que to drive fifteen miles over the speed limit so he didn't do something stupid enough to land himself in an ICU.

"Okay, I'm almost there. I think I see you. Wave for me?"

The slumped silhouette you were squinting at began to frantically throw its arms side to side, making you both laugh and pull over so he could drag himself into your passenger seat. And, if you were being honest, he looked better as the blackened shadow of himself.

Jungkook, in all his glory, had his shirt almost fully turned backwards, hair ruffled into a mess, and face as red as the time you and him laid on the beach until your skin punished you with a second degree burn. And all those factors didn't amount to how he smelled like he bathed for hours inside a hand sanitizer bottle.

"God, you're a mess, Jungkook." You said that as jokingly as possible, but meant the sternness embedded in each word. Jungkook was a mess, physically and mentally.

"Hey! You're judging me! Stop being th-o mean, ___." Whenever he was this drunk, his lisp made more appearances in his speech than when he wasn't.

You hated how easily it reminded you of when you were in middle school and he was still navigating and rehearsing through his speech patterns. In middle school, when he was the sweet boy with his only fault being his lisp, who gave you his hoodie and a compassionate smile upon meeting you because your current bully plotted the embarrassment of a lifetime with that piece of chocolate on your seat. In middle school, when Jungkook was the only person in your grade who was kind enough to be kind and true to his word when he pledged his loyalty as your best friend. Forever.

With just one word, you were that timid little middle schooler again, helplessly and unconditionally in love with Jungkook.

Hauling Jungkook, who was more muscle than bone and flesh, over to his door was an art form you had trained, practiced, and mastered about thirty or so times before this one. He weighed about twice as much as you could normally carry, and nonetheless, he was out of your car and in his house in no time.

After you locked the door, you turned around to meet Jungkook, rendering the door frame into a crutch and effectively detaining you between his body and the solid wood behind you.

If you weren't so reminiscent in the car seconds before this, then the vodka-scented souvenir on his breath would have gagged you. However, being this close to him, feeling the warmth of his body consuming and overpowering yours, just made you want to sink into him even more and give him everything you had to offer.

His head was hung so when you looked up, you were greeted with Jungkook's lazy smile that gave his lips a boyish asymmetry and draped his eyelids halfway down his irises. And he had you spooled around him so tightly, this look just made him all the more appetizing.

"Kook, we gotta get you to bed, buddy." You tried to ward him off by weaponizing the most strictly platonic nickname you could think of, partnered with a neighborly pat on the back.

It was mostly to remind yourself that this man, who was an inch too close to your face, was your friend, and that in less than ten minutes you were expected to see Seokjin, but from the way he was looking at you, as if he reached into the depths of your heart to devour all your feelings for him and make them his own, you had to remind him of the universally accepted best friend boundaries.

No deep, romantic gazing into each other's eyes. No intimate activity that could be a precursor to anything more affectionate than a hug. No doing exactly what you two were doing as of now.

"Don't call me that." You hoped his aggression against what you said was merely his inebriated irrationally talking, and as always, his emotions were far beyond his control.

And, shamefully, you also hoped it was because he actually did feel the way you felt. What if he wanted the date that Seokjin was going to get tonight and he wanted all the hand holding and none of the back patting, a 'baby' instead of a 'buddy'?

"What? You're drunk-"

"Don't." Before you could drag him by the arm to his bed, a firm palm settled on your torso and closed the gap between you and the door while widening the gap an inch further between Jungkook and his bed, where he would fall asleep without the warmth of the only person he wanted. "___, please."

His voice was strangled with desperation and Jungkook was depleted of all resistance. He just needed to drink you up. To fill himself with the nourishments of your lips, your body, you.

"What-" He could have silenced you easily with a 'shh' or a finger to your lips. Or anything to your lips except his lips.

His lips. They were greedy and giving all at once. Making soft and intimate ministrations against yours as he kissed you before you had the chance to register what was going on. And even when you did, you let his tongue slide into your mouth. This moment was brimming with all the spontaneity you could ever be prepared for, and though it was new, there was no denying that kissing him felt like finally coming home just from the amount of times you had played this moment out in your daydreams. Plus, Jungkook seemed to ease his tongue along yours a bit too confidently for this to be the first time the idea of kissing you has ran through his mind. 

You're being stupid, you told yourself and Jungkook, but that didn't matter when you were finally allowed a taste of what it felt like to be kissed and touched and possibly even loved by Jungkook.

Your shirt was bunched halfway up your torso, his body pressed to your front a reprisal for the chill of the door against your back. Jungkook was, admittedly, a phenomenal kisser even when the lens of sobriety wasn't available to him. The way he ran his hands along the bare of your back like some desperate pilgrimage to discover the undiscovered parts of your body and took your bottom lip between his teeth like it was his to begin with was nearly enough to undress you from all your defenses, from all your clothing, from every single barrier that kept you from Jungkook for the past twelve years and let him have you. And finally have him. It was nearly enough.

Your hands divorced his body from yours before your lips and heart were ready to let go. It was painful, but the heartbroken look wringing his face into a tearful frown was even more so.

"No." You pushed him away further only to walk past him and seek refuge in the open space of his living room. "You don't get to do this."

"What? What does-"

"You don't get to drunkenly kiss me, Jungkook. You don't get to hold me and kiss me like you love me. It's not fair."

"Hey-"

"Because you don't. You don't love me..." If you weren't too busy finally permissing the hot words to boil over from pure anger, then you would have felt the even hotter tears wetting the expanse of your cheek.

"Well, how the hell would you know that?" His voice drowned out the loud pumps of blood beating in your ears like a drum.

"Because it would have happened ten years ago, Jungkook! Jesus, it would have been obvious from the beginning. So if you love me, if you really love me, then it wouldn't be happening now, like this. When you were drunk out of your mind and still vulnerable from Irene."

"You don't know anything." If that were the case, then Jungkook somehow knew even less than you.

"Yeah, clearly. I didn't know you'd stoop this low. I thought I was a lot of things to you. But I never thought I'd be some rebound."

"A rebound? You think that's what this is?" Jungkook seemed upset, but to your knowledge he had absolutely no reason to be angry with you.

He was, as always, displacing the burdens he didn't feel like dealing with on you, moderating you into an emotional punching bag. But what hurt more than those scrapes and bruises, was the aftermath of letting him fuck his worries away which would have consisted of him telling you the next morning that it meant nothing, expecting you to nod demurely, maybe even console him, and act like your chest hadn't been emptied and filled with his baggage in the most murderous way.

"Fuck you."

"Wow. You're really being like this? You really wanna talk about this now?

"You know what? Yeah I wanna talk about it. I wanna talk about the years. The years, Jungkook, that I've spent loving you! I- I wanna talk about the amount of times I've spent thinking about you when you were with her, and I probably didn't even cross your mind. Or how about the fucking thousands of times I've spent crying over you because I knew I was never going to be the one you'd want to wake up next to! And I had to watch! I had to fucking watch you fall in love over and over and probably wonder why I didn't fall in love either. It was you. It was always you, Jungkook."

"___, I-"

"No." His attempt to intervene was quickly denied. You were too angry to let him speak, too tired to carry these grievances any longer. "You don't get to talk. It's all out there. I loved you. I still love you! Fuck, I'm trying to get over you. And it's like you know. It's like you can read my mind or something and strike right when I'm about to recover from the last wound."

Your breathing was as heavy as Jungkook's was shallow. He could only stand, breathlessly, only curse himself for ever being so blind and regret taking advantage of your love even if it were entirely unknowingly, just to let his heart sink deeper until it fell completely out of his chest while his tears fell just as heavily.

"I'm done, Jungkook. I'm tired of trying to outrun you in this race that you're not even competing in. I'm tired of loving you. So, I'm done."

All the words Jungkook wanted to say, the words pleading for sound, carving deep gashes in his throat and leaving him vocally impaired, could never amount to the apology you deserved. Maybe this once, he wouldn't leave you wounded. He would gather the nobility to shut up and let you move on from him. Because you wouldn't know from his lapse of silence that he was empathizing with every bit of pain he caused you, and he hated himself more than you did right now for allowing such a pain to ever fall in your hands. But, where you knew you could someday forgive him for it, he knew he would never forgive himself.

He could scrounge for a few things to respond with, pour the weight of his emotions into the scarcity of his words, but he needed to let you leave and be selfless for once in his life.

"I should go. Drink some water before bed, okay?" You mumbled to choke back your tears, though it wouldn't matter letting a few more tears escape since you were previously sob-ranting and he'd seen you cry like this a hundred times before. He was the shoulder you never thought you'd have to miss leaning on, but walking out of his door punctured a hole in you. An empty space in your heart designed for the one person who had crushed the rest of it.

If this were a movie, with star-crossed lovers and a fiery infatuation blooming into what everyone secretly wants: true love, then Jungkook would have ran out of his door and held you close, professing his undying love for you. He would have won you back, reassembled your broken heart into fullness, kissed you beneath the brilliance of the moon, and lived happily ever after.

But this wasn't a movie, and he did none of those things.

Instead, he stumbled his way into his kitchen. He poured himself that cup of water you advised. He thought about how even when you swore to him you were done, you spared a bit of compassion to remind him to take care of himself. He wondered how deserving he was of everything you are. He touched his lips, searching for the echo of yours. He fell into his queen-sized bed meant for two, alone, and whispered the words that were ever eclipsing to the space beside him where he longed for you to lay so you could hear them for yourself.

"I love you."

a/n: sorry to put you through that, but the idea was born and i am but a humble vessel to bring it to life <3 hehe thank you all so much for reading and like i said, don't worry there will be a happy ending!!! (and possibly a longer-than-drabble final chapter to this series)

[slythergirlimagines]

Just Us With Some Hugging -Part One

Prompt: Prompt #1- Fake dating with Prince Zuko!

@darthsokaaa thank you for your request! I hope I did it justice! Who doesn’t love some Prince Zuko;) Masterlist

Just Us With Some Hugging- Part 1

You and Zuko had been close since birth. Your mothers had been best friends and the closest of confidantes, and because of this you had spent nearly every moment of your life with Zuko. As you grew up, Zuko became a trained fire bender and you became a trained warrior. Even during his exile, you were checking up on him through letters.

It had been nothing to pick his side over Ozai’s, and easier still to join forces with him against Azula to place the rightful Fire Lord on the throne. As soon as Zuko was crowned, he named you a member of his personal council. For three years, everything had remained somewhat peaceful, and Zuko and you had fallen right back into your friendship as if you’d never spent any time apart.

That’s why when Zuko had all but manhandled you into this conference room, you didn’t expect anything unusual. Maybe an important meeting, or just some time to catch up and talk. Never in your wildest dreams could you have predicted that he would ask you to pretend to be his girlfriend.

“What?” You say, blinking in shock.

“Y/N, it would just be for the duration of the Peace Celebration. Just a short little weekend, nothing much.” His face is a little flushed, his cheeks a light pink. Zuko has always struggled to ask for help, particularly anything dealing with emotions. Anxiously, he starts rubbing the back of his neck.

“I know it’s a lot, but think about it! We’d get to have a fun trip to Ba Sing Se. And it’ll be a fun party! We’ll get to see everyone again, they’re all coming this time.” He gestures with his hands. It’s almost endearing.

You’d be lying if you said the idea didn’t have any appeal. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen any of the Gaang. After the war, everyone had spread out and getting together had been nearly impossible. This would be the first Peace Celebration that everyone would be able to come to.

If you were extra honest with yourself, the idea was appealing for another reason entirely. Somewhere along the endless years of friendship, you had fallen in love with Zuko. Maybe it was seeing his growth as a person, or maybe it was his devotion to Fire Nation and righting Ozai’s mistakes. Maybe it was just that he was the single most attractive man you’d ever seen.

Regardless, you were in deep. And that was really the reason that you couldn’t say yes, as much as you might want to. You knew if you let yourself get that close to Zuko, it might ruin everything. Your friendship with Zuko was one of the most important aspects of your life, and you would never forgive yourself if you let your own feelings ruin what you all had.

“Zuko, I really don’t think...”

“You know, I’m kind of the Fire Lord, I could command you.” He says quietly. His voice is huskier than normal, and heat instantly floods your face.

Why was he doing this to you? It wasn’t fair that he was able to do...well to do that! He had no idea how much power he held over you, how you would do anything for him. And now that he had asked like that, there was no way you could say no.

Something in your expression must have given away your broken resolve, because Zuko’s face breaks into a huge grin.

“Thank you!” He exclaims, jumping up and happily running around the table to throw his arms around you. He’s warm, like all fire benders are, and hesitantly you hug him back and tuck your head under his chin. You’ve never been particularly affectionate friends, but the embrace doesn’t feel as unnatural as it probably should.

“I haven’t even said yes yet.” You grouch. You can feel the reverberations of Zuko’s low laugh in his chest. It’s too much, being in his arms like this.

“I know you.” Is all he says in reply. His words send warm tingles down your spine. With a final sigh, you pull away from Zuko, breaking the hug.

“Why do you need me to do this again?” You ask. Your eyes trace over his face, memorizing the contours and lingering on his scar. He used to act so ashamed of it, the scar he never asked for. Now he wears it like a badge of honor. You knew his troubles stemmed from his perceived lack of honor, but you can’t help but feel he was wearing his honor the entire time, right here on his face.

“I told you. Uncle drives me crazy with his matchmaking. He keeps telling me that ‘A single tea leaf makes the worst tea.’ Or something like that. I don’t even know what he means!” Zuko throws his hands up in defeat, breaking your trance. You snort, but don’t comment. Frustrated as he may be, Zuko loves Iroh.

Zuko had briefly mentioned the matchmaking to you before, but he had always played it off as a joke. You had no idea that Iroh was being so serious about it, or that it bothered Zuko so much.

“Why don’t you just tell him that you’re too young to settle down? You have a Nation to run, after all.” You interject.

Zuko looks at you and rolls his eyes.

“You know Uncle. He never listens when it comes to this stuff. I told you about the girl in Ba Sing Se he made me date!”

You force down the irrational swell of anger that builds in your chest. Zuko had mentioned the date in one of his letters, and it had bothered you for reasons you never wanted to think about.

“We need to talk logistics here.” You recross your arms. “What’s our story? How are we going to pull this off in front of our friends and your uncle?”

Zuko begins rubbing the back of his neck. The sleeves of his red robe fall down a few inches, and you quickly avert your eyes before you’re caught staring.

“I don’t think it will be too hard.” Zuko says. He’s too nonchalant about it all, which is mildly infuriating. He sees the irritated look on your face and hurries to explain. “I mean, we’ve been friends forever and we’re always around each other. It was bound to happen right?”

Your heart stutters and nearly stops. Did you hear him right?

Zuko clears his throat.

“I mean for story purposes that is.”

“Right.” You say. There’s a long awkward pause. You’ve never been comfortable with silence, so you hurry to break it.

“So one day we just decided ‘This is it.’ And I jumped your bones?”

The sarcasm lightens the mood, and Zuko laughs. His amber eyes twinkle in the light, like they’re shining.

“How come you jumped my bones?” He teases.

“We both know I’d have to make the first move, you’d never do it.” You challenge him.

A weird static energy settles in the room, reminding you of Azula’s lightning. Zuko has never looked at you so intensely. You swear the air is crackling.

“Right.” He says, and is it your imagination or are his eyes flickering to your lips?

The spell is broken by one of Zuko’s men opening the door.

“My Lord, I’m sorry to interrupt...” He trails off, looking between the two of you.

You and Zuko both notice the lack of space between you, and jump apart.

“Right, no it’s fine.” Zuko says, clearing his throat and gesturing for the man to come in.

You take the opportunity to leave while you still have some dignity left.

“Oh, and y/n?” Zuko says before you’re out the door.

“Yes, Zuko?” You ask. You hope the blush isn’t too noticeable on your face.

“I’m glad you said yes, because I already told Uncle last week.” His face splits into a cocky grin, and his scar crinkles.

Your infuriated scream echoes through the whole palace, mingling with his delighted laugh.

_____________________________

You’re already reconsidering this arrangement by the time you reach Ba Sing Se. Zuko looks astoundingly good when he’s more relaxed, and there’s no way you’ll be able to control yourself like this. Today he wears the clothing of a fire nation commoner. The deep red is striking against his skin and dark hair. It also highlights his scar and the amber of his eyes.

Ba Sing Se is gloriously overdecorated. There are flowers and banners covering every visible inch of the city, and they blend together in a colorful blur as the train moves through the city. Zuko smiles, face turned toward the glass, eyes taking in all the festivities. It’s been too long since you’ve seen him look so peaceful.

He turns from the window and catches your expression.

“What?” He asks, self-consciously.

Your voice is too soft when you answer him.

“Nothing. Ba Sing Se looks good on you.”

You have no idea where your boldness comes from, as Zuko shifts uncomfortably under the complement. Before you can tease him about it, he switches topics.

“Ok, so we’re really going to have to sell this thing, aren’t we?” He starts, making you roll your eyes.

It’s a typical Zuko move to save the panicking until right before. You had already done your fair share of freaking out, and had already done your meditation. You were a lot calmer about it all than you expected to be.

Of course, you knew that would probably change the moment you had to start pretending, but for now you were ok.

“Meditate Zuko. Deep breaths.” You tell him, giving him a gentle kick to the shin. He rolls his eyes, but takes the advice anyways.

“It’s going to be okay.” You tell him. “We just have to be us with some hugging. Or handholding. They know us and they know how we behave normally. We just have to act natural.”

Zuko nods, and a strand of black hair falls in front of his eyes. He flicks it away, and then settles deeper into his seat.

“Just us.” He says.

“With some hugging.” You amend.

He cracks an amber eye open and you shrug at his expression.

“It’ll be weird if we don’t touch each other at all.” You say.

“I didn’t know you had such a deep desire to touch me.” He says, with extra emphasis on the word “touch.”

Your body begins to tingle again. This has been happening more and more frequently with Zuko, where one of you says something with a double meaning. The electricity settles in again, but is broken by the abrupt stop of the train.

An enthusiastic stewardess comes to escort the two of you off the train. She’s pretty and she notices Zuko immediately.

“Welcome to Ba Sing Se!” She chirps happily, more at Zuko than you. You can’t help your irrantional flare of jealousy.

Zuko, noticing your aggravation, slings an arm over your shoulders and smirks.

“Yes, sweetheart. Welcome to Ba Sing Se.”

You give him a hard elbow to the ribs, and laugh at his grunt of pain.

Iroh is waiting with open arms when you get off of the train. He immediately takes Zuko off of your hands, and tries to smoosh Zuko as close to his body as he can. Zuko does a very un-Zuko thing and hugs back with as just as much force. It warms your heart to see them interact. Iroh breaks the embrace and hugs you next.

“It’s so good to see you both again!” He says. “And with such happy news.” Iroh wiggles his eyebrows and winks at the two of you.

“Uncle!” Zuko groans, throwing his hands up exasperatedly.

“Sorry, Sorry. Couldn’t help myself, y/n.” Iroh chuckles.

“It’s ok!” You try to say brightly, but it comes out breathy. If you don’t get it together, you’ll expose your own lie before anyone else can.

Zuko takes your hand in his, and shoulders both of your bags on his other arm. You do everything you can not to think about the fact that Zuko’s incredibly warm hand is wrapped around yours. You definitely don’t think about what this hand has done before, or what it could do if it wanted.

“Uncle, where are we staying?” Zuko asks.

For once you’re grateful to the heat of Ba Sing Se, for it camouflages the fact that you’ve started to sweat.

“We’ve set up a lovely house for you two and all of your friends! You’ll all be together.” Iroh says, bouncing around.

“Is anyone here yet?” You ask him. You can fight the excitement bubbling up inside you. You hadn’t seen your friends in a long time, and soon they’d all be here!

“Everyone but Aang and Miss Katara.” Iroh says. “They’ll be here later.”

You have an extra pep to your step as you wind through the streets of Ba Sing Se. Zuko laughs at your enthusiasm, and squeezes your hand. Iroh notices and practically starts glowing. A stab of something goes through you as you think about the lie you’re telling, but it all fades away as you let yourself enjoy the moment and the warmth of Zuko’s hand.

_________________________________________

In an effort to keep peace and spread good will, Ba Sing Se had been selected to host the annual Peace Celebration- a celebration honoring the peace ushered in by the Avatar, the end of the war, and the continuing efforts to preserve it. Ba Sing Se had been the natural choice to host the whole affair. Not only was it the biggest city, but it was the most neutral. And Ba Sing Se certainly knew how to throw a party.

You and the group were currently sandwiched tightly around a table. The whole Gaang was here. When you had arrived at the house, it had been a nonstop hug fest. Everyone had been so glad to see each other. Toph had taken you to your room across from hers, while Sokka had taken Zuko to his. You had fully expected the shakedown from Toph about your relationship, but she had said nothing. That scared you more than anything, because it could only mean she was waiting for the right time.

Zuko had told you about Toph’s ability to sense lies, and you had been privileged enough to see it first hand. If anyone was going to figure out your secret it was Toph.

You had wanted to get Zuko alone and tell him about your fears, but there hadn’t been time. Aang and Katara had arrived and then everyone had to get ready for the party. Now you were all here, and it was basically life as usual. Except for the fact that you were anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Katara and Aang were making eyes at each other, Sokka and Toph were competing to see who could hold their liquor better (Toph of course was winning), Zuko and Iroh were engaged in a discussion of the rebuilding of Ba Sing Se, and that left you and Suki to make awkward conversation.

You admired Suki a lot, but you hadn’t really gotten to know her well. Both of you had been sitting in silence. Suki takes a slow sip of her drink, and twirls the edges of her short brown hair.

“So you and Zuko?” She asks, nodding her head at the arm Zuko had wrapped around your shoulders.

You take a long sip of your drink, and then nod.

“Yeah.” You say quietly.

You had been waiting on pins and needles all night for this. Toph had yet to spring her trap, and Suki’s question seemed to catch the attention of the entire table.

“Yeah! Tell us how that happened!” Sokka says, half of his drink spilling over the rim of his mug. Like Zuko, Sokka has grown into a man since the war, well a childish man but a man none the less.

“Well...” You start.

“It just happened.” Zuko interjects, saving you. You start to take another sip to finish your drink. “And then y/n jumped my bones.” He laughs.

The surprise of his statement chokes you, and you start coughing. Zuko breaks into carefree laughter, and starts patting your back. The Gaang quickly joins in laughing, except for Toph, who cocks her head and stares with unseeing eyes at Zuko.

“I’m...going...to....murder....you.” You tell him, as you try to catch your breath. Zuko smiles warmly at you, and reaches up to smooth a piece of hair behind your ear. Your heart skips a beat, as he catches your eyes with his.

Toph and Sokka resume their contest, and you sigh with relief. Maybe she’ll be too drunk to tell or care if you’re lying. Zuko catches your eyes again, and it’s all you need to know that you guys are on the same page. Crisis momentarily averted.

“Come on, let’s dance.” Zuko says, pulling you away from the table.

“Zuko? Dance?” You hear someone mutter behind you.

“Zuko, if we act too different they’ll find out!” You hiss at him when you’re a distance away from the table. You try desperately to wiggle out of his grip.

He ignores you, and seamlessly incorporates you with the other dancers.

“I just want to dance with my girlfriend.” He bends his head down, whispering in your ear. “Is that too much to ask?”

He has a wicked grin on his face when he pulls away, and you would give anything to be able to bend him across the room.

“It is when you never do that! You never danced with Mai.” You point out, and then instantly regret it. Mai was a sore spot with Zuko. You watch as Zuko freezes, losing his buoyancy from earlier.

“I would’ve. She always said no.”

You shuffle closer in your embrace trying to offer him some comfort. You always put your foot in your mouth.

Zuko and Mai’s breakup had been awful. The relationship had been bad for a year, but when it finally came to a head, it had been explosive. Zuko had been positively horrid to deal with for weeks.

“Oh.” You say like a genius, but it isn’t really your fault that you can’t speak in coherent sentences with him holding you like this.

“Yeah.” Zuko says, and you know that if you don’t act now he’ll brood for the rest of the night.

“Well I’m a hell of a better dancer than Mai, so you’ve definitely upgraded.” You say flippantly.

Zuko smiles at you and pulls you closer.

“I certainly did.” He says.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, your close proximity, or the fact that Zuko has just told you that you are an upgrade from your biggest rival, but something in you snaps. Without warning, you find yourself leaning up and pressing a kiss to Zuko’s lips.

(A/N: I’m doing a part 2! This just seemed like a story that needed to be broken into two parts! Let me know if you enjoyed it and don’t forget to submit a request if you want me to write something! I do write for multiple fandoms! I’m currently working on my other requests so keep an eye out for those this week! You should be able to see all the fanfiction I’ve written by clicking on my tag slythergirlimagines)

[damselofblueroses]

The Children of Paradise

Summary: Set three years after the Rumbling, a young captain of Paradise Island, Anna Doukaina suddenly learned that her husband alive during the Paradisian Revolution.

Warnings: MANGA SPOILERS AND ESPECIALLY CHAPTER 139, Descriptions of Depression and Grief, Mentions of Death, Emotional Hurt. Progress of the fiction contains nsfw / Smut, minors please do not.

Note: The idea of Paradisian Revolution and the transformation of Historia Reiss are the offspring of my imagination, I would like to think about how would Levi's aftermath of the Rumbling be in my head after I read chapter 139 :)

Word Count: 6.7k

Chapter 1: Misery of the Sea

The sky on the horizon was not dark at all.

It was shot with crimson, like a splash of blood.

And the ashes blew towards us with the salt wind from the sea.

“Just a retired one.” I said to myself in quietly. “Just like you.”

It did not help to inflate my ego and bolstering my self-confidence. I looked at to my hands, were they still in crimson, after I have been washing them over and over again?

They were pale as the moonlight, there were no single spot which was dirty on my body. I have been scrubbing my skin like wanting to tear myself from my mortal and sinner flesh since years, being a clean freak was just a default feature of my contract.

I made that deal long time ago.

When there was no white in my hair.

I could still recall the memories of selling my life. If Commander Smith could hear one of us, he would correct our words as devoting ourselves, our hearts to the salvation of humanity, however, even he knew that all of us were lying. Those high hopes, from the morons who wanted to serve humanity to the daydreamers who thought the war could be ended were buried under six feet, their remains already had to be become manures.

All of them became tools of nutrition; some of them for titans, some of them for animals, some of them for plants.

But in the end, the circle of life just continues.

And there we go. Again.

I was rubbing my hands to each other. I hate the weight of weapon, after I had to use them against humans. Against my team members, against my squad, against my friends.

In the end, the circle of war just continues.

I did not sign the deal for killing my comrades, my friends, my family. I was taught to destroy the fucking titans, not my kind.

How was I ended up in Military Police?

That was the biggest mystery of my life. I was ranking around 13th, I did not want to be in MP, therefore, I chose to wear the cape by myself. That was my bloody agreement.

I wanted to have my own wings.

When I remember that 14 years old girl, I could not help but smile at her naiveness. Her hopes. Her desires. Her dreams and loses.

I was a fool who believed humanity could be saved from the fate pending on it. Sometimes I could hear that girl’s voice in my head, lecturing me on how I could help the others, how I could be useful for humanity.

Humanity can go and fuck themselves.

I had no debt for people, I had already given to them everything I have.

So why the heck you are here, holding a rifle and targeting a high ranked commander of Yeagerist Unit?

My answer was so simple. I did not have anything to prove to those rats over the streets, but I hated to live in a new war. My war was ended when Eren Yeager and his rumbling were defeated, my war was ended when I saw that girl, Mikasa Ackerman’s endless longing for Eren Yeager, poor girl was spending her days and nights just for being with a ghost, a memory.

My war was ended when the Titan Curse was broken.

I was mourning for the people I lost since I was 10 years old. Losing my beloved ones started before I joined into the army when my entire town was smashed by an unexpected titan attack. They reported the incident like this, unexpected, if someone could expect a titan attack. I still had nightmares which composed by the screams of my friends and my family.

Worst… My little sister’s.

There were a few of survivors, a cousin of mine, me, two neighbours and a father, a grandma, four kids, a baby, and my grandpa.

We moved to Shiganshina before its doom before that those shit-faces Reiner and Berthold attacked to there. My grandpa died after one year when we started a life in the suburbs of Shiganshina.

I was all by myself.

There was two options ahead of me, join the army or work as a maiden. There was a shortage of jobs where I could work as a handmaid, so I went to the registration. I had to find a shelter for myself, there was no one who could take care of me, I had no one who I could trust on. I had to join into military if I wanted to live even for couple of days more.

Commander Smith would be rolled on the other side in his grave, but I never devote my heart to a fucking noble aim or shitty high hope.

I just did what I had to do in order to survive.

But survivingcosted me everything I had.

I was around 11 years old when they took me into the training and since then my heart became a graveyard of my beloved ones.

To my dismay, I had a perfect memory. I remember almost every day of my life, beyond, even the little details that were given to me, Hange and I were not very close for nothing.

Hange…

I was mourning for my friends. My comrades. My companions. My lover.

Nonchalantly I touched my left ring finger and rubbed it before pulled the trigger.

Why I am here and continuing to fight?

My war had not been ended yet. I was mourning but I refused to mourn for those people who died for their purposes. That’s why I was pulling the trigger, putting my life at risk again and killing that bastard with a single bullet.

I knew that my comrades were still watching me above, I would do everything to make them proud. That’s why I was still fighting back with a world where it was extremely cruel.

I used the bricks as a natural shield for myself and disassembled the rifle as fast as possible.

“That was for Hange, you bastards.” I murmured to myself. “She did not die to see Paradis under the yoke of your crazy queen.”

I could feel that Hange was nodding at my words just like she was standing next to me. I knew that no one from my comrades could approve this world where Historia Reiss ruled and transformed it to another planet only to fight.

Tatakae, was our motto. Tatakae, was our national anthem. Tatakae, tatakae, tatakae.

I remembered once I have heard this from Eren Yeager when they kept him into the prison, when Hange went to see him.

He was repeating tatakae like a chant, but I was sure he did not sacrifice everything he had just to see a mad queen on the throne of Paradis, or the army that was named as Yeagerists and divided into new units.

What did it mean? Being a Yeagerist?

Supporting mass genocide or sacrificing yourself for a plan?

For me both options were not the best ones, but if I had to prefer, I would sacrifice myself for a plan like breaking the titan curse.

But in my understanding, there was no place to the toleration of a control freak queen and her decisions to start another endless war.

That’s why I was walking around my second destination today. I was very famous of my quietness, speed and logic especially when it came to assassinate someone.

I learned every trick and move from a retired criminal.

I was like a sculpture on his hands, and he craved me till I became exactly what he wanted.

I sat on the edge of roof and started to count.

Revolution, we call this. Revolution.

I pulled my trigger again and did not bother to see the result. I knew that I killed two important commanders, and I was going to kill the last name for today. The headmaster of the palace, Edward Strauss, then I could go back to the home.

Liberty, we call our aim. Liberty.

Have we ever got a proper taste of liberty?

Have we ever got close to be free?

Have we ever reached a point where we could live far away from the sounds of broken bones, the smell of blood?

Have we ever just enjoyed our lives and let ourselves to live freely?

“That was for Levi.” I whispered before started to walk again. As always, saying his name was the hardest one. I had any idea about his life, I even did not know if he was living or not after the explosion, but I always made sure that naming him among my beloved ones.

He was.

“Please, join me, Captain Doukaina.”

I smiled to the young, energetic blonde boy who was sitting on the bench by himself in the middle of night. His ocean blue eyes were not as same as the time we met.

“You are grown up, huh, Armin?” I bestowed my hand to him. His face was brightened. “I have heard your stories enough for a life-time.”

“I tried to do my best.” he was modest as he was a trainer. “But my best was not enough to save everyone.”

Poor kid. He was still in pain of losing his friends. Eren and Mikasa were the closest thing to a family for him. His shelters. I remembered the day when they went under the yoke of Shadis. Armin was really tiny to be compared with a lot of boys instead of Eren, Jean or even Connie.

“It was not about your efforts.” I was very honest. “All of you did your best, but you cannot challenge to some paths. You knew better than me.”

“Yeah.” he beamed. “I learn the paths with all my heart, Captain.”

I remembered this kid was one of the nines…

“Armin,” I raised one hand. “Can you stop calling me as captain? I already dropped the titles I had once. Call me Anna. Just Anna.”

“Okey, Anna.” he tried my name on his tongue just like my name was tangy. “It is a little bit hard; you know.”

“Old habit never dies.” I beamed to him, enough to made him blush a little bit more. “So, how was your day before I bumped into you?”

“Extreme.” he smiled. “I am trying to deal with two lieutenants who do not want to cooperate with us, however they already joined into the resistance. I cannot let them go as they know so much.”

“What do you think to do?”

“I am going to persuade them.” he burrowed his eyebrows. “I wish the things could be different, but we are still in war.”

“Who are these two lieutenants?” I murmured. “If they will not change their minds after your speech, maybe we have to go for different tricks.”

“One of them is Lieutenant Arya Springer, a distant cousin of Connie; the other one is Lieutenant Johann Willenburg.”

“I know Willenburg.” I sighed. “A total blockhead.”

“Well, he is one of the best shooters.” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “There was nothing I could do when he wanted to join since he has a strong reputation.”

“Yeah, these guys are so stubborn when it comes to fucking reputation.” I exhaled. “They want all the heroes in their team.”

“I could kill someone to have Captain Levi in my team.” Armin laughed. “But he rejected to come back with us.

I stared at Armin like I could not see him anymore. His words were echoing in my mind like a severe, horrendous, and horrific chant that had given hope to the audience, hoping that everything was going to be okey at the end.

“Cap- Anna?” he reached to me. “Anna, are you okey? Shit, you look like on the verge of fainti-

“Armin.” I grabbed his hand with all my strength. “Armin, tell me, is Levi alive?”

“Yes, he is.” he gave me a weird look. “He is in Marley, living with Gabi and Falco, do you remember those two Marleyan kids?”

Levi is alive.

“He did not contact with me.” I murmured to myself. I was not seeing Armin for real, I felt dizzy, my heart was pounding, my breathing pace was quickening, my blood was rushing in my veins. “Why did he not alert me?”

“How much you know about Captain?” Armin carefully interrogated. “I mean after the Titans war?”

“I only know the explosion because of that fucking monkey.” I hissed. I cannot feel my legs. “My knowledge is little, I could not learn anything, there was no one to tell me.”

“Do you want to learn?”

“What kind of question is that Armin?” I yelled without control. “I want to learn what the fuck happened to that bastard!”

“He does not want to be back, because he is not the Captain Levi Ackerman anymore. At least he thinks like that.”

“Ha?”

“After the explosion, Captain Hange found him, actually saved him from Floch and Yelena. To sum up, he was healed, he was still fighting when we ended the war, but his all body is covered with scars, he lost one eye and two fingers, in addition he has some problems with his legs. He uses a wheelchair time to time.”

My chin was dropped into the ground while my soul was leaving my body.

“So?” I heard my voice. “But he is alive, right?”

“Yes, he is.”

“And he thinks we do not need him anymore.” my brain started to function again. “Son of a bitch, he believes that we could not need him.”

“Exactly.” Armin approved. “At least this is what I believe also. I mean, I tried to have a civilized conversation with Captain, but you know how he is. He just sent me off.”

“You cannot have civilized conversations with Levi Ackerman.” I looked at him by gaining my self-control again. “Armin, you are the leader of this resistance. I want to go and drag him back.”

“Ha?” I knew I caught him guard off, but I really had no fucks to give.

“I am going to Marley.” I stood up. “If he thinks he can save his ass from this hell, he is wrong.”

“He does not want to s-

“He is going to see me.” I cut the shit off. Although his words, Armin was watching me with an admiration. “He owes me, you do not know how much he owes me.”

“How much he owes you?” he asked diligently. This was something about Armin, he was always so careful catching the nuances.

“A life.” I was not a sweet talker; I have never been till now. I suddenly scrubbed the wraps on two of my fingers like I have been doing every time I had talked about Levi. “If you will not let me to go, I have no choice but break some bones of your body, so you cannot prevent me.”

“You cannot across the sea without the documents in need, money and protection.” Armin raised his hands. “I do not object you, if you think you can bring Captain Levi back, I fully approve that. But you ne-

“I already have everything you mentioned. I have money, I can protect myself better than anyone can do for me, and I possess the documents, my identification card, my health report and insurance. Marley wants to see them, right?”

“Yes.” Armin nod but it was very clear he was surprised. “Since when you prepared all of these?”

“Do not make a wrong deduction.” I inhaled. “I did not prepare them in order to flee if I have to. My brother is one of the soldiers who chose to stay in Marley, I keep those documents because I wanted to be organized.”

“Well…” Armin stood up. “I guess there is no way to stop you, you will do what you decide on. I give you my consent, no better than this, I command you as the leader of resistance. Go and escort Captain Levi back to Paradise.”

“Your wish is my command.” I groaned and shook his hand. He was a little bit confused, he hesitated to send me over, but he exactly knew that he could not halt me.

Nothing can avert me from my way at this point.

My blood was boiling, I felt like someone was choking me. I could not believe that Levi was still alive and to my dismay he let me to think he was dead.

I spent last three years to mourn for him, and he did not bother himself to let me he is alive.

I rushed back to my little flat where the memories really became a burden. Every night was another nightmare in this place, every piece of the area carried something belonged to Levi.

I really cannot recall every minute I whimper his name, crying and longing for him.

And he did not let me know.

Since when he became a selfish bastard like this?

How could he?

I grabbed some clothes, the basic requirements in need, some food, and beverages into my luggage. Even this fucking luggage belonged to Levi once. I angrily wiped the tears off, I was definitely frustrated, mad and horrified by his extremely self-centred decision.

So, he is living, and he let me to believe that he is dead?

Unbelievable.

How could he do that to me?

I even did not bother to check how could I reach to Marley. I only know that I had to go to the ports, that was going to what I do. I left the home and started to my new journey.

When I will find you, Ackerman, you will pray to be dead.

Marley.

I was sitting on the benches of the boat by watching the notorious walls of Heaven, at least, what had been left from that. Paradise made sure its destruction, but some parts of the walls were still visible if you knew where to look.

That was my biggest problem, I always knew where to look and follow what I saw.

Even now, my biggest problem is connected my ultimate problem: Levi Ackerman.

He was always what I saw, whose I followed without even a single hesitation. Wherever Levi goes, I go, that’s my deal.

For a moment, 18 years old version of me appeared in front of my blurry eyes. I still could see her arms tangled around her chest with a determined face expression, standing before Commander Erwin, being examined by curious eyes.

“Captain Levi wanted you into his squad.” Commander slightly raised his eyebrow. He was more than curious; it was very obvious that he could not see a logical reason behind Captain’s request. “Before approving your promotion, I would like to ask you one question.”

“All ears, Commander.”

“You devoted your heart, no discussion on that.” he stood up and took his steps towards me. I was suffocating because of the power his glare. “But to what? I always wonder that.”

“To whom, you mean?” I questioned his question, for a second, a ghost of smirk formed around his lips but as usual he controlled himself so swiftly. He approved me with his head, I knew that today or tomorrow I had to answer this question.

I was too tired to hold it back.

I was too naïve to try to disguise my true colours.

“I devoted my heart to Captain Levi.” I said. Plain and clear.

Commander did not reply to me. He just looked at me for a minute then smiled. I was afraid of seeing his smile, with all my respect to him, when he smiled, I always felt the goosebumps all over my body, his smile was irking my self-defence system. I felt like I was trapped and dragged into something I should have not want to do, but I was supposed to perform.

When Commander smiled, I felt like I was a puppet in his hands like every cadet in the Scouts.

I had been questioning every incident, decision, and stage of my life since that day. Was I really acknowledged of my words when I blatantly stated my devotion to Levi?

What had I gained in return of my devotion?

A journey to Marley by myself, countless corpses on my conscious and permanent blood traces on my hands.

A myriad of sleepless nights.

Longing for someone who never comes back.

I clenched my fists over the fabric of my skirt. I hated wearing skirts, but Levi persuaded me to wear them when we had to peel ourselves out of uniforms.

I always suspected Levi had something with the skirts, those soft and pastel ones.

What the fuck you are thinking right now?

I could feel my nails digging into my palms, they were going to leave some marks for sure. Maybe a little bit blood too.

Maybe I should have kept myself in Paradise, with my duty. I could distract myself with new missions, new plans, and decisions. Maybe it was not the best option for me, maybe I really had to respect his decision and never went on board to drag him back.

Back to hell.

To the hell he lost everyone whose were very dear to him.

I was cruel and reckless, he had been losing more than anyone else, he had been in such a hell even before people labelled him as the humanity’s strongest. Just once he told me how sick and tired he was of that humanity’s strongest shit.

How much he wanted to leave all these behind himself.

And now, I was on my way to drag him back.

I could feel the panic started to invade my body and affected my limbs; I immediately bit my lower lip in order to keep my mind straight.

Even this little trick, you learned from Levi.

A strong smell of salt rushed all over me with the promising sound of waves. I lifted my head up, my hands automatically turned into the fists.

He already dared to break his promise, why should I care for his thoughts and desires? He did not think of mine, he decided all by himself. Why should I be upset for him?

I could easily forgive him, to be honest, I have already forgiven him for leaving his hell behind. What I have been not going easy on was his decision to leave mebehind like I was a part of his personal abyss. He was the last one who could break a promise, and he never choose a path which could make him to regret of his selection. I knew his way of thinking to the bits, in these circumstances more than I could wish for, if he concluded on the way to follow, he made sure that he would not be regretful. Needless to say, if he chose to leave me behind, it was the solid proof of his view of me.

I mourned for him every second of my life since the end of war, my feelings were always so complicated towards Levi, but I was always certain on my love for him.

My feelings were not reciprocated. I could understand my one-sided affection and its heartbreak if he did not give me a promise for lifetime.

While the boat was arriving the shores of Marley, I was definitely not in my best mood. I could not name all the frustration, fear, anxiety, anger I felt, but at the same time I was so excited. The silence of my mind was sudden and was not like it normally was, it was a total, dead silence, laden with an uncomfortable tension that cut me like the edge of dull blades. There were words on the very tip of my tongue that every inch of myself burned to scream, but my lips were like sealed. My posture was changed by our arriving to the port of Marley, I stood up and took a deep breathe. The air was so thick, I could not deny but I remained bound by unspoken thoughts and empty promises. When the doors were opened to the passengers, I grabbed my luggage and stepped into the foreign lands.

I have been in Marley before for educational reasons. After the war, I was one of the soldiers or civilians who were selected as the students go abroad, I spent two years here by attending college. After graduation, the government of Paradise assigned me as the head of royal library because I denied giving courses to the students.

I could work as a librarian. I could not work as a teacher, not again, I could not bound myself to the pupils. Even thinking about having students around me causing a lump in the middle of my throat. I was not made for mentoring kids, as my own history could vouch for that.

I still hear those screams.

Memories were stuck in my head and for the life of me, I could not erase them from my thoughts. Every little step I took, the labyrinth of my memory has been providing me with a new reason of pain. Anger. Frustration. Sadness.

Loneliness.

I have been always by myself. I fought for my life, my troop, my battalion, my people, my country, and there was no end of the shitty list. Dedicate your heart, we have been trained, dedicate your hearts. My eyes were masked in sheer layer of moisture, I knew, my tears of anger because the world was being nothing but cruel to me. I knew this way of thinking was not being entirely rational, I wanted to hear that it was not my fault, I wanted someone to praise my efforts.

And that someone has been living the best of his life in a little shop where it occupied a very good, visible spot of one of the main streets of city, where I was standing just in front of the door.

I had been losing the understanding of time, but when I found myself in front of the ivory-coloured door, of course Levi would kill someone who can even propose choosing another colour, I checked my clock.

Should I go inside?

I did not know why he did not send a message to me, and I did not fully recall all the circumstances of our shared past, either. I was so determined to see and drag him back, but now, all I remembered was the feeling of falling, crumbling, crawling, and seething pains before blackness. There were blurry bits and pieces, but when I tried to reassemble them, there were just the colour red. Red again, crimson red.

What should I say if I go inside?

What will happen if he is inside?

What if he would be disappointed to see me?

I reached to the knub of door, however all power I had till now was leaving me. Emptiness was what I felt, there was no driving force, there was even no anger against his crimes.

My heart was pounding on my throat, my sight was blurry, then I let the knub of door and turned my back to the shop. I did not want to see what was inside of that little tea shop, even thought it was one of the smallest shops I have ever seen, it was certain that that shop was bigger than my life and more valuable than me in the eyes of Levi Ackerman.

Although I was full of retaliation feelings, I could feel anything but my love for him.

Why should I step back into his life again, when his decision keeping me away from him is clear as fuck?

The city lights peeked through the cracks of the pavement, creating a jagged patch of gold in the way as I took it as a sign for me in order to keep going by myself. I just looked at the door once more, then I inhaled.

I have to write an explanation to Armin as formally. He loves me, but he is not the type of letting the issue go.

“Excuse me?” I heard a young but strong boy voice. “Captain Doukaina?”

I closed my eyes, because I recognized the owner of this voice like hearing it just one yesterday. I kept remain to walk, acting like I did not hear my name but just in one second, a cheerful, energetic face jumped into me.

“YOU ARE RIGHT, FALCO!” Gabi screamed all the air out of her lungs. “SHE IS CAPTAIN DOUKAINA!”

“Ah.” this was only thing I could said. “Hi, Gabi.”

She hesitantly looking at me, her arms were reaching to me, but she knew that I had been refusing to talk with her for long time until that night I had to keep both of them between my arms, protecting them as the frightened kids who survived.

“You can.” I approved her attempt. “We are not enemies, and I am sure both of us changed a lot.”

She did not wait to hear the end of my words; she just hug me like I was the miracle of life. Falco, always kinder than Gabi, patiently waited for his line.

More like waited for Gabi not being extra.

“How are you?” he asked me politely, I could laugh his disgusted face towards Gabi who was circling around me by murmuring an inaudible song.

“I am very well.” Liar. “I hope you are doing well, either.”

“Yes, we are living with Uncle Onyankopon and helping to Mr. Ackerman for running tea shop.” Gabi shared this two information with everyone on the street.

My heart was hammering in my chest to hear that Mr. Ackerman, I hated myself for my reaction, but the kids were unaware of the glossiness glazing over my eyes.

“Did you come to visit us?” Gabi asked. “Why it took this much, we have been waiting for you since the end of war?”

“Gabi, please have some manners.” Falco murmured to her. “Captain Doukaina has her own life, you knew that.”

“Ah.” Gabi stopped and looked at me in the face. “I am sorry, I did not want to be rude, but I thought you would have come very long time ago. We missed you.”

“I did not know where you are.” I spilled the beans without thinking. “No one told me.”

“Uncle Onyankopon said tha-

“She means that maybe there was a problem between Marley and Paradise communication ways.” Falco made a heroic attempt to save a secret from me, but I was playing the game even before he was born. I gave him my signed deathly glare and turned back to Gabi.

“What he says?”

“Mr. Ackerman insisted on you have to live your own life.” Gabi grumbled. “Falco and I tried to persuade him to call you here, but Uncle said he could not dare to play against to Mr. Ackerman.”

“Mr. Ackerman can go to hell.” I cursed beneath my breath. Falco heard me for sure, but Gabi was so busy giving me a detailed story of almost 5 years after the war. Mostly I did not listen her, but I caught two important details.

She knew that I attended college here in Marley.

She knew that I was the head of royal library in Paradise.

Are you still watching me Levi, or she knows these because of another reason?

“Would like to come inside?” Falco interrupted Gabi’s endless stories. “I strongly believe that you came here today, we have fresh bakery and tea, and we happily serve them to you, Captain.”

“Call me Anna.” I smiled to him. What is these kids’ fault? They wanted me with them, they were trying to call me back. How could I remain angry towards them? “Thank you for your kind inv- Gabi, what are you doing?!”

“You have to taste blueberry spongy cake!” she yelled at me. Maybe I can exactly remain angry towards Gabi? “And we have a delicious Earl Grey which came to the shop just a few hours ago. You like Earl Grey, right? Plain, strong and harmonious.”

“How do you know that?” I could not help but ask.

“Mr. Ackerman.” she gave me a weird look like it was very usual, talking about my preferences between the folk of this fucking tea shop. “When he orders Earl Grey, he always check the quality of tea according to the rule of Doukaina.”

“What the fuck?” I tossed my head back, my feet tapping on the pavement. “Gabi, I am really sorry, and I have no intention making you upset but seriously I understand anything you say.”

“The rule of Doukaina is our standards in order to value everything around us.” I heard a baritone voice which I was fucking familiar with. “Welcome to Marley, Captain.”

“Onyankopon.” I pressed my lips into each other. I could not help but felt the irritation against him. He smiled to me by raising his hands.

“I have nothing.” He remained his posture. “Can I join you?”

“We will serve to Captain.” Falco explained. “She just came to Marley today; she has to be thirsty and hungry.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I am very well, but tired. If you could allow me to go back to my flat, it would-

“No!” Gabi just sticked into my arm like a gummy. “We will not, right Falco?”

“What are you doing there, brats?” I heard another voice. Baritone. Strong. Grumpy. Familiar to giving orders. “Did you take a hostage in a blink of eye?”

“She is Captain Doukaina!” Gabi screamed like she was sharing the most wonderful miracle of this bloody world. “How can we take her as a hostage, Mr. Ackerman? She is the cleverest as you always say!”

“Captain Doukaina?” I heard his voice again, full of nothing but disbelief. “JesusfuckingChrist, do you lose your mind?”

“I am here.” I choked out loudly enough for him to hear my voice. “Anna Doukaina.”

There was silence like our walls circling Paradise before we crumbled them down.

“Anna Doukaina.” the voice repeated my name again. Would he be crueller to me, still staying in the shadows?

“Yes.” I lifted my chin and let all emotions filled me up. Did I really unload these 5 years on him, in front of everyone here? I knew I was not going to, but God, if I had the courage, I would. I would ruin his life; I would set everything he did on fire and leave here as the happiest woman.

He came out of that fucking ivory door, and I forgot how to breathe.

No one told me how he was.

No one told me how bad he was hurt.

No one told me how horrible his scars were.

Onyankopon grabbed the kids due to rapidly increasing tension, even though Gabi’s rejections, and left Levi and me by all alone in front of the tea shop. We were staring each other like enemies, we could be enemies, I wondered if I had ever felt like this before in my life.

“Anna Doukaina.” he sighed at me. I clenched my fists and took a really long, refreshing, and deep breath. “You are not Anna Doukaina.”

“Ah.” I barely held myself back from making a scene. “I guess I know my identity better than you, Captain Ackerman.”

“It seems you forget.” he took one step towards me. I could see all of his face, all the stitches, all the lines and his eyes. Goddamnit, his Aegean eyes. “Your name was changed, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” I raised my left hand and showed him the little bandage which I always wrapped on my finger.

“Why did you wrap your finger?” he dared to ask to me by furrowing his eyebrows.

“What should I do?” I nicely asked but I could feel the taste of blood inside of my mouth. “Should I unwrap the bandage? What is the point of it?”

“Since when married woman keeps their marriage rings under cover?” he grunted, but he was careful as always not causing any unwarranted events. I could easily see he was fuming inside; he was calculating but I could not understand the rest of his feelings.

He was upset, that was so clear.

He did not want to see me, that was another clear point.

“They do.” I forced myself to smile. Do not let him to see your feelings. “If their wedded husband are not with them.”

“So, were you covering your ring since the last 5 years?”

“Every day of it, and I enjoyed that a lot.”

“Why you did not take it off, Godfuckingdamnit, if you were so upset by wearing it?!”

“Protection.” I chuckled. Make him mad. Give nothing but only pain to him if you can. “You know, if I will financially collapse, I can always sell this. It is 24k gold. A luxury for Paradise.”

“You are not changed even a bit.” he leaned back on the heels of his feet. “Still a witch.”

“I changed a lot.” I said. Back in the Corps, I was loud and commanding, I was a leader, one of the cleverest. Now, I was timid and tired, I may be broken down because of his absence. “I am not a witch anymore; I became a bitch.”

“Yes, I can see that.” he nod. Very sweet of Levi. “Why you are here?”

“I came because I am looking for my husband.” I said.

“Why?”

“To ruin his life.” I smiled. “I want ruin that bastard for letting me down, for letting me mourn for him every fucking day, for everything he did to me.”

Levi glared at me with a deadpanned face. I unwrapped my bandage and showed my hand to him.

“I have been waiting for this since I learned you are alive.” I murmured. “I want a divorce.”

“What?” his face was entirely blank.

“I always thought you were dead, but since you are unfortunately in flesh and soul, I want a fucking divorce.” I grinned. “Do you think I across the sea in order to see you? No, Levi. No. We are going to divorce, so you have to come back with me to Paradise, then you can go to even hell if you want.”

“Thinking I was dead did not prevent you to live your life fully, huh?” he raised one eyebrow. “Why do you want a divorce right now, all of sudden? Why did you show yourself at the door of my teashop? Are you run out of money?”

“You cannot hit me with these, Captain.” I chuckled and took the ring out of my finger. “See? I came for giving this back to you.”

I directly went to him, in front of him, my mind did not catch any of my moves or decisions. I never felt like this in my life, I was like captured by another soul, I was watching myself out of my body. I grabbed his hand, opened his palm and placed the ring.

“You can do whatever you want with your fucking ring.” I hissed at him. My voice was keeping all the pain as a secret. Even now, even I am full of pain, the only thing I want is hugging and kissing him, staying at his side forever! “I came to say this.”

I turned back to him immediately, but before my first step, he grabbed my wrist and forced me to walk with him inside of his tea shop. He literally dragged me into the next table and held my hand with all force.

“You are my wife.” he dropped his voice to lowest version. Damnit, how he dare to give me that voice, he uses when I was a cadet?! “You are mine.”

“Ah, really?” I pushed him back. “Where were you if I am your wife?”

“Where were you?” he questioned my question. “If I am your husband, why you were not with your husband? Why did you not come to find me after the war?”

“MR. ACKERMAN!” Someone yelled by entering from the door, and both of us turned to the boy. “I NE- wow.”

The little blond kid just stared at Levi, looking like a revengeful god and me, pressed on the table as a suspected witch. His little mouth shaped as an O.

“What happened?” he asked.

“No- nothing. We did not know you have visitors. Hi, lady!”

“I do not have a visitor, Paul.” Levi gave me a piercing look. Do not fall. Do not fall. “She is my wife, Mrs. Ackerman.”

“DO YOU HAVE A WIFE?!” The little kid screamed for his dear life.

“No, I am not h-

“Yes, I have.” Levi said. “And she is going to live with me from now on.”

[but-thats-its-own-love-story]

Hi there. Intro and Character List below the cut.

I recognize that I’m an incredibly niche member of what is already a somewhat niche community.

I’m male, gray ace, and all my F/O’s are OC’s.

I don’t even fully consider my F/O’s actual F/O’s half the time, because it still feels weird to me to have feelings for characters I designed myself, and my S/I has his own feelings which may or may not bleed over to/from me.

But I did design them with my particular tastes in aesthetics and personalities in mind, and for better or worse I have some kind of feelings for them, whether they be sensual/aesthetic or romantic-ish or just the plain urge to take care of someone and be cared for in return, which I experience far too sparingly in my actual life.

Either way I can say with certainty that I’ve always loved them, even outside the context of self-shipping.

I’m a frequently touch-starved occasionally lonely person with very few people I consider friends, and daydreaming about my characters has long been one form of escapism I’ve used to fill the void.

I do draw them, but I pretty much never post my work online, and for the most part that isn’t going to change here, so most of my original content will be imagines that are incredibly specific to my tastes.

I will tag my posts according to the OC F/O’s they pertain to, and I’ll do the same for any selfship content I reblog for a specific F/O, so if anybody happens to see this and somehow relates to a specific character, check her tag for more.

(All of my OC F/O’s are technically nonbinary, but they all use she/her pronouns for now, and collectively I still think of them as “my girls”/may occasionally refer to them as such. Also they’re largely mineral based? Probably closer to Houseki no Kuni characters than Steven Universe characters in this regard, although I’ve seen the latter and not the former, so take that with a grain of salt. Also they’re at least partially based on marine life and simultaneously vaguely magical girls? Edit: Having recently watched Houseki no Kuni I can confirm that my thought process on this was correct. Aesthetically they’re closer to the Admirabilis, but in terms of having stone bodies and crystaline eyes/hair/innards they’re like HnK gems. They’re not HnK OC’s but some of them would pass as such.)

Anyway meet the team:

#OC F/O Sam aka Gossamer is the first of her kind, and is somewhat of a cross beween a lion’s mane jellyfish and a lava lamp in the body of a tightrope walker. Coily, friendly Medusa-style snake hair applies. Also floaty skirt/umbrella aesthetic. She’s overprotective and occasionally incandescent. Blows lava bubble kisses.

#OC F/O Rina aka Marina is a Calavera-esque (i.e. sugar skull body paint) Mermaid Bride (Bride-Maid?). She wears a black wedding dress at all times, and her bones (and hair!) glow a pretty shade of neon aqua in the dark. Devoted to the point of obsession, if the black wedding dress wasn’t already indicative of this. Fun fact she came to me in a dream, so she’s literally my Dream Girl.

#OC F/O Nettie aka Amunet is the least humanoid of them all, and in fact is closer to an Ammolite/Ammonite pretending to be a person. She’s shy (her name means ‘hidden’) and as athletic as she can manage to be with a body that is actually her hair, and also her limbs? But’s she’s always ready to lend a hand. Also she’s sorta made of red hot ferrofluid. It’s complicated.

#OC F/O My Pearl aka Margot is smol and also shy (this is a trend for OC’s with literal shells to hide in) and can’t move her legs very well, but my S/I will protect her from anything that would harm her. And so will Melanie, her effectively mute handmaiden who exists solely to care for her. Fortunately Margot has two hands.

There are more, but these are the main OC’s I technically consider F/O’s. If I post/reblog about someone else I’ll add her here.

Update(!):

#OC F/O Sal aka SLR, Sally, Skidbladnir and several other variants is the axolotl-shaped fire elemental (i.e. Salamander) that inhabits/powers my S/I’s Sword/Car (It’s a convertible). She’s a tsundere with gill-shaped twintails to match, and is frustrated at my S/I for not acknowledging her as sapient sooner. When she ‘s personified, she’s fond of the roller derby/skater girl aesthetic.

Update(!!):

#OC F/O Sophie aka Sophia, Galatea, Adamantin(-e, -é, -a), or possibly all of the above is... a bit of a complicated mess to explain. She’s not really a New F/O(!!) so much as an “I (finally!) figured out how to fit this character from a different storyline I’ve been working on into this ‘verse” F/O. She’s literally statuesque, as if she was carved from some cold, unyielding, as of yet unspecified stone, because in all likelihood she was. Debating on making her literal diamond, for practical as well as symbolic purposes. Also debating whether or not this makes her seem too much like a Twilight vampire, and whether or not I feel like being too self-indulgent with her design to care. She’s cold and unyielding(/firm/stubborn) as her statue body suggests, but also smooth, calm, and steadfast. Still need to figure out her affiliated sea creature, but I’m oh-so happy she exists, Sam’s been standing in for her but isn’t quite the same character type so she’s been missed awhile now. Update: If I do go the vampire route, she’ll probably end up being based on a vampire squid.

Update: Alrighty here’s one more. She hasn’t technically come up directly yet, but I mentioned her in the notes once I think so I’ll list her here anyway.

OC F/O: Talking To The Moon aka 10.0.4/10:04 and maybe sometimes Ctena/Tina if I feel like I can get away with it is, unlike all the others, my S/I’s love interest, rather than one of his and therefore my F/O’s. She’s an F/O for me, but to him she’s like a soulmate, and pretty much all of his/my other F/O’s (except Sal) share his feelings for her. She’s still not very much of an actual person; rather she’s a space ctenophore (pretty comb jelly~) with a fairly transparent but otherwise person-shaped upper body attached. She speaks only in vowel sounds and gives off much the same sense of lonliness and aimless drifting that my S/I does. In-story she talks to him soul-to-soul while she happens to be drifting close by, but then she floats away and he spends the next arc trying to contact her again. She’s out there somewhere, and my S/I pines over her until she finds a way back to him.

(A related aside: When I wrote my almost-novel a long time ago, I had never heard of the Chinese moon goddess Chang’e, but if I had, I probably would have been obsessed with her story. Between mutually pining lovers separated by impassable distance (or some other barrier), and the feeling that looking up at the moon evokes, it really speaks to me (and the gaining immortality part doesn’t hurt; these three concepts happened to feature prominantly in my almost-novel’s story). So when I did finally learn about Chang’e, I knew I wanted to design a character with her archetype, but my current ‘verse already has a lot of moons/moon-based characters, and I had been meaning to do something with an alien ctenophore (because deep sea creatures really do look alien) so this character was the result.)

Also I’ll eventually shove this long post under a readmore, but it’s currently like the only thing on this blog, and also I’m on mobile rn so I’ll fix it later. Fixed.