#If you unfollow me don't worry I will just quietly unfollow you back

[sonysakura]

Perpetually furious

Anyway, this is a vent post containing Internet "friendship" drama, swearing and discussion of death. Replying is okay, ignoring is okay, reblogs are disabled, I just figured I can throw one of my old 2020 reaction images in here as well since I never did and I'm not sure I'd ever find a better post to illustrate with it (originally, it was made for something long since irrelevant).

*looks at his empty wrist* As of right now, it's been 5 days of me being furious because I saw one (1) mention of a few nicknames I never-ever want to see again. This is after I blocked the people, added their nicknames to filtered post content and tags and then also enabled "Hide filtered posts entirely" in XKit (yes, I don't want to see even someone else's posts reblogged from them and to even know my mutuals are still following them). If I can't disappear them off the face of the planet with my mind, I will at least disappear them off my dash. The thing I had to find out 5 days ago... if a filtered word is in the middle of a tag it won't get filtered out. And my habit of reading my mutuals' tags made it so I read a forbidden nickname and has been in a state of fury ever since.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

And before anyone tries to say the word "therapy"?.. Yes, I am doing that. It's been, mind you, 6 sessions already of me retelling these 3 seasons of a dramatic soap opera these people involved me in (fyi I have never been a participant of a fandom/Internet drama until meeting them). And my plan has been to only think about the drama during therapy so it doesn't plague my life the way it did for the past 8 months. My therapist also agreed it's better we do it at my own pace, and actually despite the previous session being the one I was supposed to reach the end of the story on, I felt I don't want to talk about them, about the worst that happened, and we didn't. Apparently, talking about my guilt over me being unable to support my best friend when her mum died and how much the reminder of my parents dying in the future hit me is easier than talking about the way my "friends" behaved.

Shitty two-faced bitches, and I wish I knew worse words to describe them. The one who backstabbed me twice, told someone I loved I don't have emotions, don't love anyone and is just a manipulator, lied to them that they know me well (we talked twice, I literally only wished them happy birthday), then talked to me like nothing happened and only admitted to lying to my face and playing with me (or "joking around" in their own words when nothing really has been a laughing matter in that situation) when they needed my help. They watched me defend them, waited it out and only came clean and apologised because they didn't want to be on the bad side of someone in higher position than them. And then claimed I harassed them and blatantly lied about how often we talk a few months later to get me out of the way.

The other one who didn't reach out despite knowing me for almost a year just because someone else mentioned they had a fight with me, and they decided they better leave it be and just ignore something happened (in hindsight, no wonder, since they believed immediately when someone else started to whisper things about me into their ear later) but then only started talking to me because I guess I'm an easy person to vent to or something. True, I also vented to them because they claimed they're my friend. I didn't realise their friendly attitude is fake, and as I was later told they "wear a mask", and apparently I was just supposed to know it instead of thinking them to be my friend. They used my skills for their needs and then became cold to me when it turned out my character (which they considered aggressive when I was saying things as they are, snarkily replied to rude remarks or just wasn't using emoji) outweighs my usefulness... and got angry at me when I asked them not to speak to me like a child. I was supposed to just take it according to them. And when I decided being under them is too much after they tried to force me to unblock a person who triggered me, they discouraged other people from contacting me, condoned another person to share my private information (some of it taken from a vent even) and lied to people we both know they were saying things to me in DMs which they never did (i.e. "I told them I'd love them back" when they said "I never wanted you to feel upset" and never invited me back or even apologised, then blocked, told me I'm manipulating the events and refused to talk to me afterwards). And all of that while they and their friend continued to misgender me in the space where they thought I wouldn't see it!

And yet another one creeped on me in DMs after they read some melancholic tags on one of my posts and encouraged me to vent to them. And when I got surprised, considering I thought they don't like me since they never interacted with me in public and even ignored me multiple times, they said how I seemed so unapproachable to them and they "waited for me to come to them", and how they actually care a lot and they kept behaving extra sympathetically (and I have no idea how I didn't realise how creepy all this sounds, I guess I held them in such high regard not to question their sudden behavior too much). Later, they told me they like to chat to people privately "friendly and civil" to "keep their enemies close". Yeah, I know, embarrassing I didn't realise this is what they were doing to me... But I only realised after they out of nowhere blocked me without saying a single word after I decided not to work with their friend anymore and said friend then used the info against me that was... strangely familiar to something I didn't talk about to them but to their quiet "keep-my-enemies-close" friend instead. Interesting, right? Not even mentioning the screenshots of their private blog I was sent later where they seemed to quip about me and how I ruined their fun. Sure, I should have just stayed to be the butt of the joke for them.

Well, now, should I also talk about the stupid idiot who I had in my Friends because I thought there's no bad blood between us only to one morning discover they unfriended me and are going around shared servers spreading info that I "blocked them"? And they thought so because... Bet you won't guess? Because they claimed the yellow exclamation mark on Discord desktop app is "the blocking indicator". Just so you know: it's "the indicator" that means Discord can't pull up/load the up-to-date info about the person such as their userpic, about or badges, usually if you aren't friends, or simply don't share servers anymore, or haven't talked in a while. This is done for security reasons. It is in no way "the blocking indicator". The only valid way to know someone blocked you is to try adding a reaction to their message – if they blocked you, the screen will "shake off" the reaction on desktop or simply disappear the reaction or tell you it's unable to add the reaction on mobile (they seem to change it back and forth). In any case, it's impossible for your friend to block you and stay a Friend because Discord automatically unfriends people if one of them blocked the other. But that pinnacle of stupidity saw the "indicator" and then unfriended me because they thought I blocked them, and also was vindictive enough to tell it to everyone. Honestly, this is not the worst thing, I actually got a good laugh out of that part... It is the fact that other people believed them without checking in with me. And started blocking and unfriending me, too. *sigh*

Alright. I'm not as bad as before, now it's somewhat calmer fury, and my eyes are wet so I hope I might cry. Maybe it will help to release this heavy feeling.

And one last thing... If you're reading that, if you reached the end of this post, and anything I said makes you feel uncomfortable about me, just unfollow me. If you've been there and saw what went down starting April 2021 and ending July 2022 and you think I was the only one in the wrong, just unfollow me. If you're only being friendly with me because this is what your culture dictates and you want to be polite and nice, just unfollow me. If you're only here to "keep me close", just please, please, unfollow me and leave me alone. If you consider me a friend, tell me so. I can't stand this guessing and pretending anymore.

[emjiroki]

OMG I KEEP PRESSING THE UNFOLLOW BUTTON BY ACCIDENT I PROMISE MY HANDS HATE ME!! Anyway *cough* about asks in the inbox.. im peeping the Sakura pfp so hard.. so what about Sakura playing with you while watching you both in a mirror?

Ive done that so many times!!! No worries!

HARUKA SAKURA MY LOVE 🩷 I've been needing to do a little something for him

You don't know what got into him. The moment you had gotten home Haruka was on you, his body bare as he crowded you back to the bedroom and stripped you of all your clothes.

"Haruka," you whined as he pulled you down into his lap at the end of the bed, "I just got back from the gym I need a shower".

"Nah, you don't," he insisted, his black and white brows furrowed as he pressed his face against the sweaty column of your throat, "smell so good like this."

You huffed a little as he shifted you around until your legs were in the crooks of his arms, the fingers of his right hand trailing down your stomach.

"Th-This is embarrassing," you groaned, a flush burning your cheeks as you looked at yourself in the mirror, Haruka's eyes almost predatory as he stared back into your reflection.

"So pretty" he murmured, the feeling of his slightly pointed canines against your skin sending a shiver running down your back. His fingers moved lower, spreading your lips apart so he could see your entrance before rubbing your clit in a soft tight circle.

"Barely touched you and you're already wet for me baby" he smirked, the combination of your submission and the smell of your sweaty skin making his cock hard between your legs.

You were panting and squirming in his lap by the time he dipped his finger down, the feeling of you leaking against his hand making him moan quietly through a bitten lip, a blush staining his cheeks as he stared at you through the mirror with lidded eyes. You could see everything from this angle. Hole wet and clinching around nothing as he teased you with the tips of his fingers on your clit the head of his cock bumping against your entrance without actually pushing in.

"What if I took you like this?" He whsipered against the shell of your ear, "overpowered and spread just for me".

Your answering moan brought a fresh smirk to his lips, your bucking hips making him nip his teeth against your jawline.

"Don't worry bunny," he teased, "I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon"

I want to be his bunny baby I'm so down bad

[aerodaltonimperial]

I think you're a fantastic writer though I get the feeling you have some insecurity (?) about writing ships other than HOOKhausen. Not insecure in your abilities, but insecure in that you think people won't like it or we'll stop reading your work. I think you should write whatever you like and feel confident about it. There's enough room for every ship in the sea of fandom. Make yourself happy first, always! No matter what ships or genres you write, I'm happy to be in this fandom with you.

Okay, anon, I had to sit with this one. Because youuuuuuu.... just hit the nail on the head here. I am ABSOLUTELY insecure as shit about this. I GUESS THIS IS CONFESSION TIME WITH KATY. I did nothing but Hookhausen for like, what, 6 or 7 months??? Literally was a MACHINE. I have written 13% of the AO3 tag?? My name was HEAVILY CONNECTED to this ship. And noooooooow... now I'm worried that everyone is going to unfollow me when I'm not writing what they came here for anymore.

I don't know if the push-back/disapppintment is all fabricated in my head or not, but at this point it probably doesn't matter, because I feel it regardless. I feel like I am letting people down! Sometimes a lot!! And then I get really guilty. And then fandom becomes less fun for me. And I feel like everything else that I write needs to come with some sort of apology, which you have clearly seen me adding. I am actually really glad that this was picked up on, because I have been quietly (other than with Vamp) getting super nervous and panicky about this for easily over a month now. This has been a source of stress for me haha.

I cannot explain how nice this was to hear that you aren't all going to leave. I'm assuming once Danhausen comes back that I will get some mojo back, but at this point, I am tapped out. There are only so many variations on the same story I can write without new content to inspire, and I've reached that point. And I've been like, actually stressing about this for weeks and weeks. LEGIT STRESSING OVER THIS. I am super pumped to have more stories I am following now and I am EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED to a lot more now, and I just want to write more bullshit LOL so thank you. For prompting my big spilling of my insecure guts all over my blog. Cause this shit been real, I can't even lie. ❤️❤️ I appreciate this more than you may ever know.

[wikiangela]

Hi, I've been noticing you haven't posted Buddie lately, do you no longer ship them? This isn't meant as negative or hate at all! I know some people can send hateful asks and this isn't that at all. But buck and tommy aren't really my cup of tea and with everything going on I want to avoid blogs that no longer ship or support Buddie or are negative about them. I've unfollowed other people quietly but since I've looked up to you ever since I joined the fandom I just wanted to make sure. I don't want to risk unfollowing you only to find out that you still post and love Buddie (Again this isn't meant as hate, I'm really worried that it's seen as negative when I really don't mean any harm and just want to know. My mental healt is a mess so I'm avoiding all the drama and trying to keep what I see positive and normally just avoid posts tagged with bucktommy because I don't mind people liking something I don't like. And now I'm overexplaining and ranting because I'm scared of making people mad 😞 sorry 😅)

Hi! don't worry, it didnt come across as hate haha

I do still ship and love buddie and I always will, but i also ship bucktommy, and the buddie side of the fandom has been pissing me off lately so I haven't really been engaging with it bc im not having fun with it rn 🤷‍♀️ I am still writing buddie and eventually I will be back to posting them, but for now I'm taking a step back (plus, im so inspired for bucktommy lately lol)

thinking back on it and looking at my wips from the past few months, me stepping away from buddie has actually been a long time coming, even before bucktommy showed up so im so glad they did, but that's a whole other rant lol

I totally get not wanting drama, which is why I filtered the buddie tag and I'm staying in the bucktommy corner for now and also unfollowed quite a few people lol

I'll never be negative about buddie, because i do still love them (tho more as a fanon concept than actually wanting them in canon ngl) but I also love bucktommy and I'll be posting about them and writing about them too 💁‍♀️

[kingofthewilderwest]

do you still blog about httyd anymore or should I just give up on this blog now?? I really don't wanna give up on this blog though

Short answer: Helheim YES, you bet Odin’s black eyepatch I’m still blogging a ton of HTTYD! Looking forward to RTTE S6, any of ya’ll?????

Long answer: Thank you for asking and seeing what I intend, you sweet friend! It’s very thoughtful of you to check with me rather than assuming something about my intentions and accidentally unfollowing someone who’s still going to blog plenty of HTTYD. If it’s okay for me to say, sending you nothing but kindness… perhaps in the future consider avoiding words like “give up on this blog” - those words can come across unintentionally unkindly. I know you’re expressing your own emotional worries, and I understand that, though unfortunately this can come across as hurting since it seems to suggest others’ interests are a disappointment to give up on. But don’t worry, it didn’t hurt me one bit, I’m thankful you think my blog is worth holding onto… and thankfully, you have a happy answer awaiting you.

I ***absolutely*** do blog about HTTYD. HTTYD’s still the bulk of what I talk about and what I plan to keep talking about. I know that that’s what my follower base wants and I’m never going to ignore that, so this is a HTTYD blog to stay forever. I can’t escape ya’ll, nor do I want to. ;) If you take a peek, even just yesterday, I posted another HTTYD analysis about Hiccup and Astrid influencing one another in incidences like Blindsided! In the last few hours I have answered two asks about my opinion of HTTYD characters. Within the last week, I’ve also talked about topics such as Heather’s dragon lens and reblogged a number of fandom art, images, and links about DreamWorks Dragons. And tomorrow I have in queue another HTTYD-focused analysis. So I’m mostly definitely blogging about HTTYD still!

What’s awesome is you also have got a lot of power within you to help direct my blogging habits, too! ^.^ Lots of my blogging is based upon the questions people field me. Feel free to send me ask prompts about anything HTTYD if anything comes to mind! Interacting with other dragons fans is something that helps keep me stimulated, excited, and active, too! I’m not saying on you, of course, to keep me blogging, because that’s not true… but it’s definitely a fun and energizing way for us all to participate in fandom to our fullest together. It makes us all in the community more active. I can only say so much without bouncing off others who share my same love.

If you’re wondering why I’m a little quiet about HTTYD right now, it’s because I’m waiting for RTTE S6. Because of the long hiatuses between content, it means that sometimes I’m going to be a little quieter about this fandom than other times. There’s a nice, natural ebb and flow to fandom. Sometimes I’m quieter, but never hibernating; sometimes I’m blogging four analyses a day about HTTYD, sometimes blogging HTTYD analyses twice a week. I know some people newer to fandoms get worried when fandoms enter their quieter phases, but that doesn’t mean the fandom is falling apart… in truth it’s probably just a happy, healthy, hearty fandom as always. I’m definitely not drifting away from HTTYD. Even in the quiet times, I never fully stop blogging HTTYD, and frankly I’m much more consistent blogging HTTYD than many fandom blogs are during hiatuses. And since RTTE S6 is coming really, really soon, you’re frankly about to be inundated with HTTYD. Inundated.

For you can bet your boots that the second RTTE S6 hits Netflix, that’s all I’m going to be raving about, and I’m going to be raving about it hard.

Now, it’s true that I’m someone who does like multiple fandoms, and I’m not going to restrict myself from blogging about the other things I love. I mean, that’s the point of us having recreational fun on this website, right? To interact with that which we love and care about? There’s freedom in us expressing what we love, and so I shouldn’t be restricted, either! ^.^ That said, knowing some people don’t want to see everything I’m interested in, I’ve separated some of my non-httyd content out onto another blog. I have a side blog for video games, space, aliens, and the like. 

And within this own blog, if you watch the tags, I’m quite vigilant about tagging everything and anything. I’ve tried to make my tagging system a valuable resource for anyone who wants to control what content they wish to see from me. I know not everyone does blacklisting, but I’ve set my tagging up to make it easy to blacklist. If you don’t want to see non-httyd content from me, I’ve created a personal tag for all material that isn’t about DreamWorks Dragons! That tag is #non-dragons. If you blacklist #non-dragons, you won’t see a single post from me that isn’t about the How to Train Your Dragon franchise. I also have tags marking all my fandoms - be it #vld, #lotr, #mcu, or anything else I enjoy that isn’t DreamWorks Dragons. You’ve probably noticed I’ve got a bit of Voltron stuff I blog about. That’ll still happen - consider when Season 5 comes out at the start of March - but that doesn’t mean I’m abandoning HTTYD, or have quit blogging about HTTYD during the premieres of other shows I lot. I’m never not blogging about HTTYD. So if you are someone who does a tag blocker, feel free to block out Voltron, and you should be all set to go to see lots of RTTE stuff without anything else.

There will of course be some periods that makes my life busy and mean I’m blogging less than average original content. That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped blogging or that I intend to slow down long-term. We can’t decide that a recent blogger’s trend means that they’ve forever abandoned you, because we often don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes influencing their blogging habits. Oftentimes, it’s the blogger dealing with temporary irl situations. Once the blogger deals with that temporary event, they’re going to be back on track. That’s definitely the way it is with me. I can’t control all my life circumstances and sometimes things come up. Like, well, now, for instance. In the last few weeks I’ve been fighting to get enough money to pay rent. Thankfully that trial is coming to an end and I’m ready to jump back and pound things out on tumblr again. But whenever I get into irl situations like those, I use a queue and reblog fanart from any fandom. It’s not as HTTYD-centric, but it quietly shares with people that I’m still kicking and haven’t left this blog behind. ^.^

And yes, there will be asks I receive that aren’t about How to Train Your Dragon (and I fully welcome those asks, by the way! Please send anything about anything I love!). But it’s definitely the case that the majority of the people I interact with are in the HTTYD fandom, the majority of my internet friends are in the HTTYD fandom, the majority of the content I search for on tumblr is HTTYD, and the majority of my analyses past and present and future are going to be HTTYD.

I’ve explained in posts months back that I do have to balance my time online writing analyses (which can take a very long time to write). Several years ago, circa 2015, I had more free time. Now I have to balance my blogging life with a financially strained position where I have to focus on making a living for myself and paying rent. I mean, I’m twenty-five, I’m an independent adult, I have to take care of myself, it eats hoards of free time. Adulting sucks. But because How to Train Your Dragon is so important to me, and interacting with the HTTYD fandom is so important to me, I’m always trying to make the effort to keep my blogging active. I’ve been slightly quiet in the last week because I’ve had a bit of irl circumstances hit me hard, but they’re alleviating again. Hence why I can guarantee there’s going to be another HTTYD analysis on the blog tomorrow, 9 AM MST, and more to come thereafter!

And really… guys… the HTTYD fandom means so much to me. I’m sad someone thought I’d stepped away from this fandom because I’m always wanting to be here as a forever friend to the HTTYD community. It’s my forever home. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it: you guys have made a difference in my life. I’m so thankful to be in a community like this. It’s very important to me and you all are reasons why this is such a great place to be.

I hope this helps thoroughly explain what you’ve been seeing in my recent blogging habits, friend. I hope it assures you that I’m still heartily blogging HTTYD (and that even more concentrated HTTYD is on the way). I mean, I posted an analysis yesterday on HTTYD. Pretty sure it’s still something I talk about! XD

Now, sending you best wishes, and have a wonderful day! Take care and stay awesome!

[heelmaryse]

People like that really piss me off, like why can't they just mind their own business and step off from other people's lives, I'm sure you did nothing wrong to even deserve the hate but nonetheless don't worry lovely we've all got your back and we all think you're amazing, kindhearted and a genuine person - much love ❤️❤️

literally! if i dislike someone's blog content i'm just gonna quietly unfollow, not risk hurting their feelings by making posts and talking about them and sending them anon hate.. thank you tho❤️❤️