#If I don't get a pass neither should Sonnett or JJ or any white player who purports to be a role model

[that-soccer-guru]

I liked sonnett when she was in portland but her silence and lack of any useful statement in support of blm and opposition of police brutality (plus her deleting people’s comments way back) just made me feel icky and uncomfortable. I’m a poc and I also have black friends and the thought of supporting someone who is so ignorant about the oppression that my friends face is just... it just doesn’t sit right with me. How did you navigate that whole thing?

(warning this is gonna be a long one)

Hey there, you know what that is a really good question. I obviously can't speak for the black community, seeing as I am paler than freshly fallen snow, but I've tried to educate myself in the issues as much as possible and have done my best to be outspoken whenever possible.

As a private individual that is easy as hell, as a public figure unlearning the toxic shit they've been taught, while being in the public eye can't be easy. I am definitely not excusing her past behavior at all, I agree that it wasnt amazing to see a player I respect knuckling down on the wrong side of an issue and erasing comments calling her out on it. I don't believe anyone should be able to say "well I'm just here to do my job and I'M not the one being racist", and she hasn't said it in so many words but it's a league wide thing that white players have stayed silent, and it's really disappointing.

I believe, however, that a lot of these players are putting in more work than what we can see, and while I don't believe in excusing players for their upbringing, I feel like as a Georgia born player Sonnett has more to unlearn than a lot of her teammates. One of my friends says it takes time to exhale the shit you've been inhaling for years. Obviously she's neither a child nor does she live under a rock, so the belief that "it's hard" shouldn't hold water BUT I do think that by not going against the movement in even the smallest way possibles, she's making strides (unlike another Georgia born player who couldn't even do the bare minimum with the kneeling). And that, even if we can't tell at all times, she has to be asking questions and doing the legwork in private.

BUT this should DEFINITELY not be a consolation prize. Sonnett and other white players should NEVER be given a pass because "they're trying". It's deeply disappointing to me when they're open to Performative activism, or worst they're silent, when people who look up to them need some activism from them. Had she played in the Challenge cup, I don't know that I can say she would've kneeled for the anthems (literally the smallest gesture) and to know that I can't say she would've with certainty is, frankly, disappointing.

However, I want to believe that she's listening to the mature voices of people she looks up to. She's, thankfully, surrounded by players that CAN and HAVE been very active with the BLM movement and have been outspoken about police brutality. I want to think that, because every once in a while I notice her posting links to donations and important information, she's listening to people around her. Despite being a very private person, I want to hope that she'll be more outspoken in the future. I want to think that she will keep following the lead of her black teammates and learn to lead by example when it's her turn to mentor other white players who will have to be better.

It's the least we can expect from the people we look up to that, even if they're just human, they'll be informed about the real life issues that affect everyday human beings. Especially someone surrounded by all kinds of diversity! The league may be predominantly white but, it ain't by much. Sonnett, and others like her, have to make an effort to learn, and I hope we can say we've seen the change soon enough.

All that being said—I had no qualms about being angry and refusing to support Julie Ertz for her Performative bullshit in the challenge cup. I had no problem deciding that Kelley O'Hara no longer gets my support for her refusal to kneel during the anthem or apparently listening to the black women around her calling her on her shit (which especially stings bc she was one of my favorite players, and she's a woman I really looked up to). And if it comes to it, I'll have no problem with not supporting Sonnett anymore even if she's my favorite player at the moment and I admire her game a lot. Hopefully it won't come to it.

TLDR: I think it's inexcusable that white women are silent on these issues, especially white women with a platform. I am very cautious about giving credit for their improvements while remaining critical of their faults. I'd like to believe that Sonnett has come a long way with the guidance of her teammates, and that she will continue to learn and becomes a real advocate for the black community. That being said, I have no qualms about dropping a person, even one I admire, if they demonstrate to be repeatedly problematic, even in the face of the affected people telling them how they're hurting them and the people like them. You're right to feel uncomfortable by her silence and, if it comes to it, you'd be right to not support her anymore. I'd be right there with you.