#IT'S NOT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING SHIPPING PREFERENCES YOU DOLT

[leofrith]

i didn't block you because of your stupid ship, i blocked you because you're a fucking asshole. hope this helps!

[tumblezwei]

Your post about Nuts-and-Dolts being an unexpected angst-ridden tragedy is a good take, and made me realize Ruby and Jaune's friendship is kind of similar.

"Oh, you thought these 2 friends would be normal students? Guess what, mentally-ill Paladins dealing with A Lot."

Honestly, I have been kind of shipping Penny/Ruby/Jaune as an ot3 for a bit.

I prefer platonic Lancaster myself, but I've always loved Ruby and Jaune as parallels. I made a post about it eons ago, I'm sure, but a lot of their personal journeys can be read as inversions of one another.

And in the Ever After, what I'd find interesting is contrasting Ruby's guilt with Jaune's. Ruby is always too late, never able to do enough, never able to fulfill the role that she's placed it. Jaune's self-perceived flaw is pretty much the opposite. He's always doing something, and that something is fucking up.

Ruby wasn't fast enough to stop Pyrrha dying, Jaune had Pyrrha right there but was too weak and too ignorant to help her. Ruby wasn't even there when Penny died on the bridge, Jaune had to kill one of his friends because his semblance just wasn't enough.

It's a bit too late for me to go full analysis, but the themes that follow Ruby and Jaune and how they compare to each other have always been so fascinating to me.

[thuskindlyshescatters]

The magical eye squad of Ruby, Penny and Oscar my good hombre.

Ah, the kids. Love em.

Ruby

Sexuality HC: I like to think she’s ace, but has had crushes of admiration on various girls throughout her life.

Gender HC: A trans girl (mtf) who loves her trans uncle.

A ship: How to choose? Sugar Rush (Ruby x Nora) is a guilty pleasure of mine, as well as Rosegarden (Ruby x Oscar) and Nuts ‘N Dolts (Ruby x Penny). Ultimately, due to the ace HC, I don’t really ship her in canon? These dynamics are just nice to think about, is all.

BROTP: Her and Yang, for sure. I know I already put down Yang and Weiss as a BROTP, but the power of sisterly love is indomitable!

NOTP: Rosewick (Ruby x Roman). Eugh.

Random HC: She doesn’t remember what Summer looks like, which is why the flashbacks in 6x13 and 7x11 look so idealized, and why we can’t see her face when she’s at her grave in the Volume One Opening.

General opinion: She’s such a good protag, I love her <3 I’m kind of sick of her not having a character arc, but at least mastering her Silver Eyes gives her something to do.

Penny

Sexuality HC: Ace homoromantic. Ruby was her first love, but she doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

Gender HC: She assigned herself female at birth and designed her physical form around that. There’s various mix-and-match designs and presentations in storage in case she ever felt like changing it up.

A ship: Nuts ‘N Dolts (Penny x Ruby). I wouldn’t want it to be canon in the show -- I’d prefer Ruby stay single -- but there’s something so Good about the bond of trust between them.

BROTP: I love her and Winter! They inspire each other to be individuals.

NOTP: Idk, just... don’t let your android fetish override your morals. Please.

Random HC: She actually did go through a period of shock and mourning when she came back and learned of what happened to Vale. She just tried to put on a brave face for Ruby.

General opinion: YES THEY BROUGHT HER BACK AHHH!! AND SHE CAN FLY!!!! AND SHE SHOOTS LASERS!!!!!! AND SHE’S THE WINTER MAIDEN FDJSKLGISGNF She deserves that main characters status 100%, and you may fight me on that.

Oscar

Sexuality HC: He has no idea. He has kind of a complex about how being attracted to others is predatory because Oz, but he’ll eventually come to terms with it and just accept that he’s pan and move on.

Gender HC: He was assigned female at birth, then fully transitioned to male, and now is in a sort of demiboy limbo with so many other experiences in his head.

A ship: He totally has a crush on Ruby. Also Jaune, but he’s still figuring that one out. Neither should be canon, but hey, he’s still a teenage boy.

BROTP: Him and Nora are so fun to watch together. Seeing Nora go from “whomst the fuck” to “LITTLE! CUTE! BOY! OZ!!!!” is so pure.

NOTP: You know, I get where you’re coming from. The only two boys their age in the entire canon? The potential for romantic confusion providing access to his arc? Mlm representation? All of these are plausible reasons to ship Snowpines (Oscar x Whitley). But I just don’t see it.

Random HC: I used to have a theory that Watts was Oscar’s estranged-and-presumed-dead father. It’s mostly dead now, but I still like to bat it around sometimes. Watts wouldn’t recognize him since he still thinks he’s a girl, and Oscar was too young to remember him. Only after hearing the name “Pine” does he go wait a minute--

General opinion: He’s gone through so much, and his arc has just been GOLD. I wish that we’d actually got to see some character development when he ran off in Volume Six instead of moping about Pyrrha for no reason, but whatever. “I Had a Mental Breakdown in Argus and All I Got Was This T-Shirt.” I hope Volume Eight is kind to him.

[chaoslordjoe]

RWBY - Do I Ship It #2? Ruby Rose

I’ve decided to continue this whole shebang with going over ships for individual characters each time. And for this one, we’re looking at our favorite cooking-deepthroating reaper, Ruby Rose...That may be one of my favorite character descriptions I’ve ever typed.

With introductions outta the way, let’s talk some Ruby ships.

White Rose

kinda leaves me indifferent?

overrated

would read a fic about it

Ideally, White Rose has become one of those ships that half of the FNDM loves to hate. But me, I’m not as triggered by it, let alone nowhere near as angered by it’s presence simply because it’s not Bumbleby.

Unlike BB, in which it’s presence makes me wanna slug my screen every time I see a comment thread screeching high praise about it, I can look at White Rose and just be more like: “Eh. It’s okay.” Simply because I have seen WR content that I enjoy, and that at least many WR shippers know when to shut up when they’re called out unlike Wasps.

Really, a lot of the content has a lot heart put into it to where I really can’t get mad at it. I know it’s a WLW ship. I know that’s become a thing to generally hate among RWBY fans. But I do think that WR is the lesser of two evils between that and BB not because I have a lot of friends who ship it, but because I think folks crap on it way too much compared to the demon that BB has become.

Am I saying there aren’t toxic WR fans still around? Hell no. They need to be called out on it, too. But I’m also generally more relaxed about the ship. Nothing major really.

Ladybug

I SHIP IT

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

underrated

hELL YES

Ladybug has become a recent addition to my ship list a while back. But I’ve fallen head over heels for it in such a short amount of time.

Even many folks I’ve spoken to who tend to gag at the mention of WLW ships in a fandom as egregious as RWBY’s agree that the Bugs are really harmless given soft the content of this ship often is. I’m not saying that Ladybug is all “wee-hee-we’re-a-couple-of-happy-go-lucky-dorks” because that would make it unoriginal and boring to read in many cases.

No, the reason I’ve grown to adore Ladybug so much is because I’m one of those who parrots how much of a missed opportunity (like the show is as a frigging whole) how many interactions there could be between Ruby and Blake.

Why wouldn’t they? They’re both into fantasy stories, both have darkened color schemes, and share some general views on why they fight. Really, Ladybug is just a good way for me to fill the void of just how much Rooster Teeth doesn’t give a fuck about how to organize their characters properly?

Volume 5 gets Freezerburn, and not onwards? Come on, RT.

But before I end up turning this into a rwde post, let’s just move onto the next ship.

Nuts & Dolts

I SHIP IT

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

Soulmates

I WOULD DIE FOR IT OKAY

Yeah this one was pretty obvious. But who cares?! I frigging adore Nuts & Dolts.

Let me just be clear in saying that I can ship it platonically/romantically, simply because I love the bond that Ruby and Penny share. They’re both hyperactive, kindhearted and strong-willed girls with a penchant for bladed weaponry and wanting to make the world a better place for everyone.

This initially made N&D into a guilty pleasure ship for me. But over time, I just couldn’t resist or get mad at it because I love how soft it feels. Same reason as Ladybug for the most part. But overall, I like N&D because of just how much soul there is between two people who were born differently with a set of powers that aren’t what you’d call “ordinary”.

As someone who’s been called “unique” or other labels with the disability I have, I usually find it very pretentious and downright grating to see stories that are supposed to be uplifting about being born in a different manner because that can be really damn annoying after a while.

Yeah, stuff like disability or other stuff is under-represented in pop culture. But often it’s portrayed in a very “Hollywood” fashion even if it’s not a work from that culture and work mindset.

I’m not saying N&D is one of those “unique” portrayals, but as something that shows what happens when two saviors who wanted a normal life have someone in each other that they can trust and even love for their shared experiences of being born differently.

Which is why I’ve grown to accept Ruby and Penny as the popular fan portrayal of being girlfriends or platonic friends. They have so much in common, which makes it that much more endearing for me personally.

Okay. Those are some Ruby/Other girl ships outta the way. Now let’s discuss some Ruby/guy ships...Here’s where it gets a little odd.

Lancaster

BROTP

overrated

no thanks

Oh boy. I’m probably gonna get some flak for this entry...

Let me just be clear that this is a post that is NOT meant to attack any particular shippers. This is me stating what I feel about certain ships and me occasionally talking about how I think they would turn out. 

It’s not my headcanon interpretations, per se. But instead it’s more how I picture it based on my experience with viewing relationships in my own life before I started discussing fandom ships.

Now that I have that out of the way, let’s discuss Ruby/Jaune.

When I first started watching RWBY, my first ship, like many others was Arkos (more on that when I cover Jaune). I felt that Pyrrha was just the right fit for a lovable dweeb like him with how it helped kick-start his character development and the framework for how he would improve himself overall.

Granted, I wasn’t really expecting Arkos to be canon since Pyrrha had died in V3. It was a tragic outcome for a ship that had so much buildup. And most of the FNDM agreed that Jaune needed a hug along with his friends to help him through it.

When I started to hear about the fact that Jaune was shipped with other girls in the main cast, I wasn’t really shocked since White Knight was already fairly popular. But when I found out about Lancaster, it was like: “Wait a second, people actually ship him with Ruby?”

Was more confusion than astonishment, to be honest. I didn’t really think that it would’ve been fitting despite how close and similar both team leaders were. But I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try with reading a couple of Lancaster works.

I got bored.

I’m not so much angry whenever I hear about Lancaster as I am just not impressed by how much fanon works recycle many tropes and plot elements.

Ruby is secretly in love with Jaune.

Jaune does something adorkable or manly which attracts Ruby.

Ruby makes/attempts to make a move on him with some crazy or titillating way that, while in-character for her, has been repeated one times too many in this or other ships featuring her.

Jaune is generally being a good boi throughout. I like Jaune, but I feel that he’s put in too many fanfics in which he’s overly good and pure. Again. It’s fitting for him, but sometimes a bit of difference in fan interpretation is nice. Make him angry, have him lash out at his friends at times. Just don’t make him a “perfect” boyfriend.

Both dorks often have to hide their relationship because of the possibility of Pyrrha being jealous, Yang going apeshit, or other characters reacting the way they do which is often buzzwords in a fic like that.

Lancaster shippers, I am not attacking you since this is your thing. If so, fine. But it’s not mine as I am giving an attempt to give constructive criticism about some of the ships listed here while talking about ships I like to make these posts all about even ground.

I prefer to see Ruby and Jaune as besties. Hell. I prefer to see them more like siblings considering how much Jaune acted like a big brother to Ruby on the road to Mistral with how Yang was bedridden with depression in V4. I also think that Jaune needs a friend right now rather than a love interest. The same could be said for a lot of characters right now, but that’s a different topic.

My biggest criticism for LC is that while I understand the similarities that they share, it’s the whole “opposite-gender-leads-fall-in-love” trope. This trope can be done right *coughRENORAcough* but is put in so many works that I’m not one of those fans who’s impressed with it.

The ship isn’t original, but it’s nothing to make me wanna rage-post like I’m Keemstar on Red Bull or the like. And I know people who are into it, to which I tell them: Good for all of you. It’s simply not my cup of tea.

Rosegarden

would read a fic about it

meh

not really my thing

Oh god, how I wish it wasn’t harvest season!

Kidding. Kidding. Rosegarden is legit, and all my friends in the group who ship it are wonderful people.

Another ship that I can’t really get angry at since compared to other ships that cover things like young love or ships of people who were born differently (see my Nuts & Dolts entry), RG is pretty fucking harmless and I can tolerate it more even though I’m not into it.

While I understand why it seems hypocritical of me to share and repost stuff related to RG on occasion, this is simply because I have reason to share it based on how much I’ve interacted with shippers and how I’ve actually had productive discussions with them outside of their ship.

It’s the community which I like more than the ship because of how much more chill they are. But there’s also a big reason why I know that some people crap on this one.

Ozpin.

Dude, if I had a Dollar for every “RG-is-pedophilia-because-Oscar-is-Ozpin’s-puppet” fallacy that was posted I wouldn’t be needing a stimulus check. Let me explain to y’all why that’s bullshit.

(RWDE mode online)

Is Ozpin eons of years old? Yes. He’s from Humanity 1.0 and was thrown into the bodies of men in the modern world in his war against Salem. It’s a rough situation with a lot of baggage to any relationship he puts up or wishes to even build-up and I don’t think it should be swept under the rug because there’s a lot of stuff that should be brought up about the guy.

Is Ozpin intervening on any potential interaction between Ruby and Oscar? No. Canon or no, Oz has been a neutral party in whatever interactions the two kids have because it’s not really his business. Do you honestly believe that if Ozpin would be the kind to boss his host around that he would attempt to butt in on their friendship?

As an Oz critic, I can say that while I understand both interactions, I draw the line at this ship being considered pedophilia.

I mean, come on! The FNDM ships Ruby with villains like Roman, Cinder and Salem, who are adults when she’s a teenager! And suddenly it’s okay to claim pedophilia just because Ozpin is present?! ARE YOU HIGH?

If we’re going with that logic, fine, just have Ozpin ascend from his brain after Salem is 86′d, THEN we can have a development in RG’s friendship whether it’s romantic or not. But leave the fans of this pairing out of it!

(RWDE mode offline)

The reason I don’t ship Rosegarden is because I’m not a fan of the whole “young love” trope either. I wouldn’t mind it so much if Oscar wasn’t relegated to a support role due to being an Oz host and he had more screen time rather than the old wizard.

Maybe I’m just too cynical about stuff like this to really care. But the point is, I can’t get mad at this ship either and I’m willing to read up on it in small doses.

Strawbana

I ship it

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

the sexiest pair

we need more of it

underrated

Sun Wukong, you magnificent monkey bastard! You always seem to brighten my day whenever I’m looking through critical discussions related to this show.

Much as I love BlackSun, I’m definietly curious to learn more about other ships involving my homeboy here. Solar Flare, I also like. But Sun/Ruby? Thank you sir, may I have another!

Ugh. Can’t believe I just quoted Animal House to describe my love for this painfully underrated ship. Somebody get me some soap...

Other than their VAs being married in real life, I like Strawbana/Red Sun the same reason as Nuts & Dolts with this being a ship that features two extremely upbeat characters finding love in one another with just how much they kick ass for the reasons of just being good people.

Kinda/sorta the only straight Ruby ship I’m into just because of how much they could rub off on one another, and how much I’d love to see them interact more in canon material. Not just the show but any other tie-in stuff.

Next time, we cover Weissu.

[sxpiosexualx]

GoT Preferences

I was tagged by @tiny-little-bird​ tq for the tag <3

Do you watch the episodes when they air?

Unfortunately they air at 9AM for me, so I catch them online once I have the time. I woke up to watch the finale last season live though just so I could live tweet my reaction along with everyone else!

How often do you rewatch it?

I was on my second rewatch but I sort of forgot where I stopped so I’m definitely going to have to rewatch it one last time before S8. But there are certain episodes I’ve rewatched like four times, namely the final two of Season 6 because I was between flights a lot that year and they had those two showing. I love love love those episodes.

Do you rewatch the previous episode before the next one airs?

Nope! Not unless I plan to really absorb what happened for meta purposes.

One character that everyone seems to like that you don’t care much for:

Tyrion Lannister, I’ve dated someone like him and it put a sour taste in my mouth. Since I watched before I read, I admired him as much as anybody but after meeting him in the books I’ve since been disillusioned. Daenerys too, for obvious reasons that I’m sure I’ve made clear.

Your 3 favorite pairings:

Jonsa

Gendrya - I know people think they’re just a cute shippy pair, I did too but there’s more substance there than people give credit for.

Robb x Sansa - this is crack but I am a sucker for pre-asoiaf works on this pairing. Sansa grew up believing in knights and gallant men of valour because she had Ned and Robb to look to and it  k i l l s  me. There’s not much platonic works out there on this pairing but I don’t mind either way. Anything to fuel my Robb x Sansa depression hours are great lol. We love crack.

also Ned x Cat because it’s practically the only healthy ship we’ve seen on screen.

Favorite scene:

A tie between the Jon x Sansa reunion glomp, Sansa riding in with the KoTV when all hope was lost, and the forehead kiss. BUT, I very much love the entire wildfire sequence during Cersei’s prosecution, the music and cinematography is amazing! Sam seeing the Citadel library with Maester playing in the background was stunning too. Basically, the final two episodes of season 6 were packed with well-shot scenes, no thanks to Miguel Sapochnik. (I really couldn’t choose just one huh)

One character you wish got more appreciation:

Sansa Stark. I don’t blame people, when she’s first introduced to us there’s this bias because we’re seeing her through Arya’s eyes and we all know how Arya views her. But throughout the series I’ve had enough of people complaining that she’s done nothing, and yet come season 6 and 7 once she’s really standing up for herself and making decisions she thinks are right - people call her bratty and “out for herself” like can you give her a break?

Also as much as I adore her on the show, and agree that had she been put through the Ramsay plot, it’s only natural she come to this progression: I very much wish people would have a read of her POV chapters. She’s not some “cold” power hungry bitch, she’s never been and never will be. Sansa’s a sweet young girl that got caught up in everything and yet despite it all, she’s still going. I admire her a lot and hope she survives and proves important to the endgame so all the disgusting victim blaming misogynistic haters can suck it once and for all.

Fanfic or nah?

I fuck with that. I’m still waiting on my AO3 account tho wyd AO3 lemme in I’m finna spread love to all the fanfic writers.

Favorite quote:

lol one quote? here are a few:

“Power resides where men believe it resides… It’s a trick, a shadow on the wall.” - Varys.

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” - Jojen Reed.

”We look up at the same stars and see such different things.” - Jon Snow.

“Their dreams were full of songs and stories, the way hers had been before Joffrey cut her father’s head off. Sansa pitied them. Sansa envied them.” - Sansa Stark.

”When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.” - Tyrion Lannister.

“Words are like arrows, Arianne. Once loosed, you cannot call them back.” - Doran Martell.

Do you avoid spoilers?

Depends. If it’s brought to the Jonsa community for speculation then I consider giving it a look, otherwise I stay clear of YouTube suggestions because they’re always so... final? It’s like “Jon Snow’s death CONFIRMED,” or “BLACK WEDDING S8 CONFIRMED,” like shut up lol. Also the reddit script leaks... I don’t know? Sometimes they just seem completely like fanfiction, and not the good kind.

Favorite house words:

“Growing Strong.” - House Tyrell. It’s flowery, easy to be overlooked and underestimated and yet even roses have their thorns. Scheming, but with grace. Not allowing themselves to appear threatening so that they may make friends, and yet all together, the very words of “Growing Strong” alludes to a growing threat.

One character you’d bring back from the dead:

Robb Stark, definitely. He’s a powerful military man, he showed promise as a ruler and he’s not a total dolt. I remember reading somewhere that George had to kill him off because he wouldn’t have fit into the natural progression of the story, he’s made him too invincible. And look how many factors had to come to play to bring the Young Wolf down. He’d be a valuable asset, though that would mean sacrificing Jonsa. But I love him so <3

One character you’d kill, or kill sooner than they were killed:

Daenerys Targaryen, but even I understand she has a part to play in all of this as they all do so there’s really no point in this. It’d only disrupt the plot and I wouldn’t have it any other way(than what GRRM intended, not D&D).

Direwolves or dragons?

Direwolves, they’re loyal. Dragons can’t be tamed and are a threat.

Which was more satisfying: Ramsay dying or Joffrey dying?

Ramsay. They gave a satisfying wrap up by Sansa’s hands. Each punch Jon gave him felt so good too.

Wildlings or the dothraki?

Wildlings, but only because they follow no king and I can respect that. Their way of life, seeing each individual as a free man - I fuck with that.

Favorite Lannister?

Jaime, definitely. I quite like his chapters. He’s never been the quickest and I truly hate whenever that’s been used to snub him. I’ve heard it been said he can be considered as Jon’s foil, and I agree(actually I’d go as far as to compare him to Sansa’s romanticised ideas of the world, though Jon is the better fit in this case). They both started out naive, and Jaime never struck me as innately cruel. For instance, he thought he was being honoured by King Aerys with a white cloak only to later find out that it was to snub his father and rip him of his heir. He believed Cersei truly loved him, only to realise that’s not the case(Cersei’s infatuation with him is a tale of Narcisus falling in love with his own reflection, or rather what Cersei wishes she was). He saved the city, only for people to dub him “Kingslayer.” His tale thus far has been tragic, and out of all the three Lannister siblings, I think he’s most worthy of a redemption arc especially considering how Tyrion is headed to a darker path and Cersei is, well, Cersei. He’s quite the anti-hero. 

To be completely honest I’m not sure I read his arc as a “redemption story” either, it’s more like finally getting a POV for us to better understand how he came to be so jaded.

And me, that boy I was... when did he die, I wonder? When I donned the white cloak? When I opened Aerys’s throat? That boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Knight instead.

- Jaime, ASOS.

His chapters to me, serve to humanise him, and I’ve decided I like Jaime Lannister.

Favorite stark?

Sansa, obviously, but I admired Robb and will always weep at how we lost him too soon, a boy who showed so much promise. Also, Bran is my baby boy and I love him dearly.

Would you rather be able to be resurrected anytime, but gain scars and all like Beric, or become a faceless man?

If I had to choose, I suppose resurrection though I don’t think I’d be fond of it at all. I don’t fuck with the faceless men because I don’t fuck with this idea of living life in servitude. I suppose we all do, but I’d hate for it to be that direct.

Would you rather have the rebellion tv show or the conquest tv show?

You’re asking me to choose between seeing the younger versions of Ned’s generation on screen vs. more Targaryen propaganda? Robert’s rebellion, anytime.

I tag @nutellaninja0001 @lilbreck @starkkingss @vivilove-jonsa @occupyvenus @lostlittlesatellites @riahchan @asilentfrenzy @hbicstark @twilight-sparx @qinaliel @fedonciadale @ladywolfmd @myrish-lace-love @viking-hel @trinuviel @itwasmycroftbbc @jonsasnow @thatfictionalgal @eximperial @thewindsofwolves @thecrowandthelittlebird @visenyastargaryen

and anyone that wants a go, really! Tell me I’ve tagged you either way because I’d love reading just about anyone’s preferences haha x

[cuccofarmer]

I’VE FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT.

The present differences between One Piece pre- and post-timeskip – A One Piece Essay.

With One Piece’s Dressrosa arc finally wrapping up last year, there has been a collective sigh of relief as the longest running story has ended. The complaints, from what I saw, stemmed from the fact that pacing was a dramatic issue during Dressrosa and its overall length led to a huge loss of interest. Personally, I loved Dressrosa’s story, but I wholeheartedly agree that it was a total struggle to stick out. This was the arc that broke me. I saw the light and switched to reading the manga which is a million miles better, by the way. Despite all the superiorities in the manga, it still suffered from a multitude of similar problems as the anime.

This drove me to try and find out why I still felt a whole inside my heart even while reading One Piece. I had to think long and hard, and dug through the internet to find a lot of other opinions on the matter. I came to the conclusion that, since the timeskip, the overall thematic feel for our favourite pirate anime/manga has just changed drastically. I know this isn’t anything new, quite the contrary and don’t get me wrong I love One Piece a lot and still find joy in following the story.  

Search your mind and think back. Can you remember the good ol’ days when five intrepid kids (yes kids) got on a dingy little ship with dreams and ambitions that they could only wish to achieve? Good, because for many that is what made them fall in love with One Piece. I remember when I started watching all I wanted was to be on that ship with them. It made you feel part of something, like you were really on deck with the crew as they made their way from East Blue to the dreaded and mysterious Grand Line. Even following that, the crusade through to Alabasta, trying to save their very own princess. The diabolical Sir Crocodile, with his hook made of gold and his fearsome sand abilities. Remember as the crew faced off with Baroque Works and found the reason for their fighting.

Oh boy, and even Skypeia. I hated Skypeia for a long time because it was hard to get through, but I can tell you the second time I watched it I found a lot of reasons why it was good. The intrigue, the exploration, the mystery behind the missing island, and by far the best part of that arc, the Almighty Eneru (or Enel for those who prefer). Man was he as good villain. You could argue he was horrible, but just think of his motivation. How evil and power-mad can one man get? All it took was Luffy’s perfect counter to put him in his place.

Then to my favourite ever story arc in all of One Piece. It is so hard to beat Water 7. It had so much good shit crammed into it. Even more surprising if you combine Water 7 and Enies Lobby together as the saga it comes close to the length of Dressrosa. So why is it so much better? For many damn good reasons. Remember when the crew lost Robin, only to find her supposed betrayal? Good Lord was that heartbreaking, even though you knew she would come back there was a tiny part of you that was still secretly worried. There was that deep-rooted connection to each crew member that you didn’t want tainted. For me the defining moment of this saga was when the Strawhat pirates stood at the gates of hell (or Justice if you like), and stared death in the face when they were toe to toe with Cipher Pol 9. Enemies who could swat them like flies and yet they found the strength to beat them against all the odds, even if it meant sacrificing their humanity. Goddamn motherfucking Sniper King. That’s all I have to say.

Thriller Bark had that stink of adventure all over, however slow it was, so you could put up with the crew being duped by an idiot, Moria’s god-awful laugh, and the cringiest moments of Perv-salom. There was a mystery to be solved and a treasure to be found. There was something lacking though. How come Zoro and Sanji were missing for so long? Surely our two favourite hot-heads weren’t captured by the enemy? Well they were, and for one good reason: they needed to make room for the rest of the crew. At this point in the story we had eight crew members with the ninth one being introduced. How much time can you devote to NINE main characters? Five is perfect, six is fine, seven is manageable, eight is pushing it, but nine? It’s one hard task to make sure nine dang Strawhats have the same amount of development.

Luckily the plot went elsewhere at this point, we saw the crew split up and the focus was all on our meat-loving captain. Ace in danger? We better get going! So we couldn’t dwell on the fact that suddenly we were seeing so much less of our favourite nakama even when the crew was all together.

Then you hit the timeskip. Finally our Strawhats are all back together again! This should be a cause for celebration. Except something wasn’t quite right. Who’s this fishman poser? Why is he just a copy/paste Arlong? Luffy’s super duper strong now! Can’t he just squash him? Why do I care about a goddamn goldfish lady? Shira-who? Show me more nakama adventure! Wait what? Sanji’s decommissioned? You’re telling me I waited all the way through Amazon Lily to Marineford and now my favourite goddamn cook is in a fucking coma? I say nay!

Do you remember when Zoro used to smile because he was happy, not because he was sadistically going to cut someone to ribbons? Do you remember when Nami’s character was something more than fan service? Do you remember when Usopp fought through all his fears to look his enemy in the eye and stand his ground? Now he’s just played for laughs. Do you remember when Sanji was suave and collected and not a quivering heap in front of every lady he met? Do you remember when Chopper could ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOME DOCTORIN’. Now he’s just a squeaky merchandising ploy. Do you remember when Robin, my favourite Strawhat, would ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOMETHING – LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. Do you remember when Franky didn’t completely look and act like an abomination? Me either, Franky never got that much screen time did he? And Brook, poor skeletal Brook, I hope you get some sort of development, man. It looks promising in Whole Cake Island, you might actually get some real badass action.

Above all, Monkey D. Luffy, when did you become such an idiot. Sure he was always a dolt, but now he just meanders through the story, punching anything in his way. The stakes aren’t as high anymore. Who knows what training the Dark King gave Luffy for two whole years? Hody Jones was a scrub. Caesar Clown was a scrub. Doflamingo was a Hannibal Lecter level badass mo-fo. I bet you he owns that Pulp Fiction wallet, but jfc a build up of close to 200 episodes? Like I said, I am trash for One Piece and the storytelling is still fucking prime. So I’ll keep going, especially since Whole Cake Island has given us a lot of promising material, maybe the first bit we’ve had in the New World.

Here endeth my essay on One Piece. Conclusion? We have become detached from our favourite characters. Through some fault in the story, a by-product of having to fit so much in each segment, we have lost a lot of what made us fall in love with it in the first place. We used to be so lucky we had heroes who we could identify with, who we could journey with. Nowadays we have these super-cool, super-badass pirates, but they’re untouchable. I just wish we had some semblance of the good ol’ days. Maybe I’m just being spoilt.

Also the animation is shit now.

Peace out, I love y’all. TLDR: Pre-Timeskip was better because the characters had more development and were more relatable whereas now they are super-powered infallibles.

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