#IM FEELING EMOTIONAL AGAIN. I LOVE YOU ALL GAHHHH

[frownyalfred]

Hello yes it’s me again 🤠 I’ve decided to continue this little series of “things that have caused me to wake up in the middle of the night and clench my chest and go “GAh” because it is summer, I have too much free time to cry over very good fanfics, and writers deserve to feel noticed (coming from a writer who’s favorite comments are the ridiculously detailed/long/rant ones) So without further ado…

d. the coral room fic tags being like “Omegaverse 🥰 Enemies to Lovers 🥹 Nesting 💖” but then in parenthesis “but Bruce’s ver of nesting is stealing super weapons to assasinate Clark” the first time I saw this tag I spat out my coffee and probably laughed for about three minutes and to this day I randomly wake up and laugh about I don’t know why it resonated so much but it was genius

e. On a less happy note I physically cannot bring myself to ever again open your fic “Silent Running” because the first time I read it I don’t think I slept that night. Definitely a wake up-go “GAH situation there, the absolutely bone chilling way that fic settled with me?? Idek why?? Like it’s definitely not dead dove whatsoever yk, but the way you write this subtle nuanced “something’s-wrong” feel… The way you wrote it? I can’t explain? But I’m not sleeping well if I ever read it again?

f. GAH THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT ALF/MAR/THOMAS I FEEL LIKE A SOLDIER ABOUT TO GO TO THE TRENCHES I FEEL THIRTY YEARS OLDER I FEEL LIKE IM FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE??? BECAUSE YOU DO SUCH GOOD CHARACTERIZATION OF THEIR DYNAMICS BUT THERES THIS UNDERLYING IMMORTAL SADNESS TO EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM BECAUSE LIKE. THE BASIS TRUTH OF DC IS THAT MARTHA AND THOMAS DIE. It’s so ingrained into canon that they are the DEFINITION of doomed by the narrative- and not just Martha and Thomas as characters, but the Alf/Mar/Thomas relationship as well!! SND YOU MAKW ME ABSOLUTELY FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM?? HOW DARE YOU?? Why would you do this to us? Why must you write such good character dynamics?

g. Speaking of characterization, let’s talk about your characterization of Jason Todd. Let’s talk about the absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS way you write him. Because like there is no babygirlification in sight, but there isn’t any of that misogynistic Jason Todd homicidal meathead stuff either- you’ve somehow written him better then half the dc writers out there. Like I FEEL like I’m reading about Jason Todd himself in what I consider to be his purest form (like Under the Red Hood). You don’t push off his grief and trauma, you don’t misinterpret his feelings and emotions, you don’t make excuses for his mistakes and actions, you instead embrace the barebones of his character in its entirety in this??? Breathtaking way??? Like I don’t wake up and go “GAh” when I dream about this, I instead silently levitate from my bed like I’m ascending to the next plane of existence.

h. NGGFFFHHGHHKDHX the way you wrote Clark in “eye in the sky” HELLO MA’AM WHAT WAS THAT WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT-

Because it’s a Injustice AU right! You know what’s happening! You know that it’s so bad, that there is no longer Clark but Kal, that the regime is horrible, and that’s how you start us off, with the glimpses into the inner workings of the Regime and you know it’s just as bad as ever and you think you know what to expect- and then you meet Clark Kent. GAH. GaH. AUTHOR. WHY WIULD YOU DO THAT? IT HURTS!! It hurts to have Duke walk in and see Clark Kent, see him with his plaid shirts and glasses and you are completely taken by surprise because you were expecting Kal! What’s Clark doing here!! He’s supposed to be dead!! And then it hits you how GENIUS it is to write it like that (after you stop crying from pure shock. I’m a bit of a crybaby). Like AUTHOR YOU HORRIBLY BEAUTIFUL WRITER YOU. YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

I. And what’s worse- how it must be for BRUCE!!!! GAH! GAHHHH! WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS? The psychological torment, the emotional damage, the potentials for angst, I’m actually getting all breathy just thinking about oml I start rolling around my bed like a crazed burrito and if anyone saw me they’d probably think I was possessed and/or having seizures. Im realizing maybe this got a bit too long.

I have to do this in increments otherwise I kinda just look crazy… 🌚 I’m just a girl 🎀 (I’m so sorry)

Moral of the story is once again I love your works and you are a good writer 💁‍♀️💐

Oh my goodness, thank you so so much for this lovely ask!!

d. thank you, I love that tag. and it’s accurate for the fic — that’s just Bruce’s way of getting settled!

e. I feel that! It was a dark fic for sure. I’ve been writing too much dark Clark recently, I need to change that.

f. their relationship makes me feel genuinely ill sometimes, not because they’re bad but because of the weight of the future hanging over them. I want to write another fic for them in my room full of coral verse for sure.

g. thank you so much! He’s a hard character to write sometimes but I try to avoid pushing him too far to any extreme. He’s complicated even if it might not seem like it!

h. thank you for mentioning this! It was definitely a deliberate choice to have Duke meet Clark and not Kal. The casual menace of it was just too attractive to me.

i. yeah, Bruce is really going through it in that fic. You know when you’re going through something rough and you just shut down as much as you can? That’s how I view him in this.

Thank you so much again!! This was the best thing to wake up to.

[pinkcowzz]

working a new bakugo fic. and,, it's heavily inspire by the song neptune by sleeping at last. and i just need to ramble about it for a bit because i don't think there is a better bakugo song and i've hit a block in my writing and i want to get back into

"You let me set sail with cheap wood So I patched up every leak that I could 'Til the blame grew too heavy"

so. okay. this is about his mother to me. i think there is so much potential in developing mitsuki's relationship to katsuki. i think, that her way of showing love is so harsh and unforgiving. she expects the best out of him, i don't believe gentle was ever a word that could be used to describe her. i think she could even be described as cruel in a lot of ways. both his superiority complex and his imposter syndrome stem from her. she put him on such a high pedestal growing up. she believed that he was unbeatable, because of course she did. every parent wants their child to be the best the best for their child. and for a long time, katsuki was the best. he was so strong, and talented, and he knew it too. until he got to ua, until deku suddenly had a stronger quirk than him, until he caused all-might to retire, and suddenly it wasn't enough. he wasn't enough.

"Stitch by stitch, I tear apart If brokenness is a form of art I must be a poster child prodigy"

fuck man. i mean, i feel like this line is self explanatory but imma explain anyways. so, end of season three. deku v. kacchan, pt 2. i've talked about how this is probably the best episode out of the entire series before but i need to touch on it again. everything comes to it's boiling point here. bakugo is so truly and utterly broken, at least when it comes to his spirit. all of his insecurities, all of his doubts are proven true when all might has to retire. but even beyond that, when he tells deku that 'hes next'. deku, someone he looked down on his entire life, someone who he was 'inseparable' from, someone who has always been kind and forgiving and understanding, someone who is everything he's not. deku is better than him, and all might is having to retire and todorki is a stronger hero than him so where does that leave him? what is he left with?

"I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how"

god. so. the only times we see bakugo being honest and vulnerable is when the stakes so are incredibly high. and im talking about when he's on the verge of death and also when he finds out that izuku is quirkless and also when he is trying to convince izuku to come back to ua and also when he is talking to all might about protecting izuku and hiding his quirks and also when all might saves him from shigaraki.

i think there is something so meaningful in the way that every time we see bakugo being vulnerable he has the excuse of just saying it was his adrenaline running high or that he wasn't thinking things through all the way. being able to hide his feelings and emotions behind something else, being able to blame his emotions on something else. he doesn't know how to love softly, he doesn't know how to love quietly.

"I wanna love you but I don't know how I wanna love you"

gahhhh. this is the last line in the song and after about 8 runs of 'i dont know how' to end with the fact that you want to despite that lack of knowledge is so. SO. so beautiful, and so true to bakugos character. i think that even through not knowing how to be there for deku and not knowing how to help, what words to comfort him with when he ends up quirkless, he still wants. he wants with everything in him. he wants to fight alongside him, and if he doesn't know how to be soft, if he doesn't know how to be kind, he will be what he does know. he will be strong and he will be the best hero and he will be save money and he will work with hatsume and he will work and he will try.

if you read this far thank you for listening to me ramble bakugo is such a special character to me and this fic im working on is a fucking beast trying to wrangle it and i just really wanna do him justice

[intotheelliwoods]

WAAAAA??? IM IN TEARS?? im in tears. bestie I just got my PILLOW WET. hdfufdnf I am, feeling many happy emotions but also many sad emotions theres lots of emotions here and I am going to need a day to unpack all that theres just SO MUCH HERE TO COVER???? HELLO??? thats it im creating a list and im shoving it under a cut because its A MASSIVE LIST and I dont want my massive text wall to take away the joy people get from reading this 🥺

THE EXPRESSIONS. the expressions. I love them dearly, so so dearly... the FACES you captured them all so well oh my goshhhh

THE MASK PULLING???? the mask pulling 🥺.... he doesnt want to scare off his old man, cutest thing I have seen all week and I just gAH IM GOING TO SOB AGAIN.

FUTURE LEO FEELING EMBARASSED ABOUT CRYING IN FRONT OF HIS YOUNGER SELF the guy tries so hard to put on a strong face for him but thats so hard for him sometimes,,, gahhh GAHHHH OFC HE WOULD FEEL A LITTLE ASHAMED EVEN IF HE KNOWS ITS OK TO CRY SOMETIMES

ouoaghugahaou lil sidenote but I actually did address this idea a bit in comic 1, but that was COMIC 1. When I had no clue what I was doing lmaoooo and I did not even think I would end up creating a whole series out of it, so to see the idea brought up again how loosing his brothers would be inevitable just like the arm??? ARGGG arrggg!! !I LOVE THIS NEW LIGHT ON THE IDEA. And god now with the added perspective of the mindscape situation just sdhdfogfjd, no regrets adding the shared mindscape btw I have fun plans with it :)

HIM LOOKING AT HIS HANDS... AND THEN ONLY GRASPING THE MECHANICAL ONE. WHAT THAT TOOK ME OUT THAT took me outttt :(and just ouughogu you can see how clearly different his normal hand is from the robot one and that got to me alright

HIM JUST??? CLENCHING INTO A LITTLE BALL.🥺 then grabbing his future selfs arm 🥺 and hugging it 🥺and crying into it... thats it thats the bullet point thats just to sweet and im so glad my idea of "what if the leos were mad nice to eachother" is now spreading like a wholesome wildfire, your honor they emotionally support eachother and it SHOWS.

ougfdohug moving on to comic two here they love their family... :( they love them very much

the message of enjoying people while they are still here was super well done.. oh my gosh.

ok im going to cry on my pillow more now I love this. I love this very much. thank you so much this is absolutely incredible beyond my own belief istg this is a dream right about now :( keep being awesome thimbell, keep being awesome.

Some snacks for @intotheelliwoods of their wonderful 2al comics.

Grief counseling flavor because on of the last updates got me TTvTT

lol whoops oh shit. only 30 image per post. part 2 here in a sec.

[aquaticstyles]

hiiii i just read from the dining table and. um. I LOVE. i love the way u painted such a crystal clear picture of love in the first bit and how i could feel the the love and then the bittersweet loss of love.... and THEN the inhale/exhale part!!!!! i like,,,, cried,,,, at the end of exhale bc i thought it was gonna be another happy one!!! and then it. wasn’t. and i HATE (love) how u crammed all that emotion, that entire rollercoaster of thinking it was happy and then plummeting to the realization that it’s over, into that teeny bit abt the cardboard box...... and then the RING and the STORY of the ring and “a time capsule of lost love” and THEN the feathers vs daggers bit PLEASE it’s POETRY and i just can’tttt 😩 and then the “he’s here, and he’s sorry,” and “he’s here, and he loves you,” and my heart is breaking, and i love it,,,,,, AND the holding of the silence during the voice message, the pause, the “two seconds, five seconds, eight,” and THEN the parallel and rhythm of that w the “deep, raspy, tired,” and how you can practically hear how tired he is, and how quiet it is,,,, AND the answers between the quotations marks and the italics AND the knife bit and how horribly (perfectly) it describes all the emotions, and the repetitive POETRY of “and again... and again...” and GAHHHH 😭 and THEN nope not done yet sksjjs i’m so sorry lmao all of the details of the relationship AND this is so random but the whole “beginnings of sentences clashing together” I’ve never??? heard it described like that??? maybe i just don’t read enough skjsjs but it’s PERFECT and paints such a clear image and it’s such a tiny detail but there are SO MANY of those perfect tiny details in this fic and honestly all of your fics and.... um.... i’ve just written entirely too much but i just had to get that out sorry skskksjs. but yeah :) this fic, and all of your fics, are literally amazing.... so thank u for sharing!!!

OH MY GOD???? IM LITERALLY SPEECHLESS????????? you- i- thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. x a million. i literally don’t know what to say other than this is the best anon message i’ve ever gotten. BRB GONNA GO GET THIS FRAMED 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[tumblunni]

FUCKIN JOE'S CHIPPY JOE'S CHIPPY IS STILL THERE

Fucking fuck fuck why am i getting so emotional over a fish n chips shop

Fuck i had a stupid ptsd flashback to my mum abusing me and i couldbt sleep at all last night but it also left me with the weird vivid memory of the damn takeaway restaurant around the corner from our house. The guy in there was really nice to the lil 8 year old me, he always used to giggle at how obsessed i was with ketchup and i liked having any sort of positive adult figure in my life even if it was just a local shopkeeper who'd give me discounts and extra ketchups sometimes. And i remember how hard it was to reach the counter! And god even the smell of the ketchup. I used to swear that every single brand in the supermarket just didnt taste as good as the nice chef guy's food. And it still doesnt. I sorta just stopped loving ketchup after i left. Its so stupid how just a tiny bit of basic politeness to a child can leave you etched permenantly into their brain as one of the few good things about being alive, and one of the few non terrifying adults.

Anyway because of this i was actually able to finally track down my childhood address! Cos the chip shop is still there!! Cos i forgot every damn thing about that house except Nice Chippy Man! How is it still there!! I bet its not even run by the same people but GAHHHH i still wish i had the courage to go back there someday. It would feel like reclaiming a part of myself if i could walk down those childhood streets again and see how the place has changed and get hipe that i've changed for the better too. And im not just the same kid that my parents broke. But maybe i am still broken, cos im still too scared to go even within 10 miles of where my dad lived, even though i know where that is and its just a short bus ride. :/

Anyway at least now i know so its a possibility i could do it someday. That's the first step!

[noblehope]

Hey! When you get the time/drive, I really want to know what personally draws you to your muse! What is it that inspires you so much? What do you admire in them? What do they mean to you? Just give me a sweet, sweet feelings dump :D

   … ah. No one’s ever really asked me this before, I think??? It actually caught me off guard. I’m still hibernating until my days off again but I really want… to answer this now. Though forgive me cause???? Idk where I’m going with this.

   I… I really don’t know how to answer this, I’m sorry. It’s a very… hm. Idk, I’m actually not that good at describing stuff when it comes to me personally. 

   I’m drawn to… Everything about her. It’s weird how important she’s become to me. I’ve had other favorites, other characters I felt a bond with and adored, but throughout my life Sonia’s just been special. Even new characters in new fandoms I get involved in (karma from c/inderella phenomenon, zeno fro a/katsuki no yona) I really can’t explain it unless you have yourself. She’s been a constant in my every day life and I don’t remember how or why it started.

   She wasn’t one I was drawn to at first. I remember, I did Twog/ami’s and G/undam’s ftes first. Those were my first “I really like them”. I just… I can’t remember, but by the end I really did like her most of all. She was the one who led me to roleplaying on tumblr, not Sakura. I had… roleplayed a little bit with my bf at the time on Skype as her and Peko, but I liked rping Sonia more. Haha, I wonder… how would this all have turned out if I had chosen Peko instead? I plan on rping her at some point so we’ll see how that goes.

   Okay, I looked back on my steam trophies and I see that I completed Sonia’s FTEs on May 6th, 2016. I beat the game on May 12th, and Sonia was the 3rd one I had completed (Gundam first though it would’ve been twogami first if he fucking lived i remember now how i had nyoomed to finish his in island mode, Fuyuhiko second which I remember blazing through during the fun house because of being fucked locked from his ftes and THE 2ND TRIAL UGH I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON IN HIS HEAD,  and the final event revealing that he survives somehow but yes)

    So yes, of the survivors by that point I can definitely see that she had won my attention since I didn’t complete any others during my run in story mode. But… that brings again, why?

   Okay let me ramble on for a second about my other favs of the franchise: Sakura, and Hoshi. They all seem such different characters but I believed it was around mm… this time last year, that I discovered what they all had in common: some kind of self sacrifice.

   Hoshi sacrificing his future for revenge, Sakura sacrificing her life for her friends, and Sonia sacrificing her desires and wants for her country. That is a big thing why I adore her, I would say it is the second thing, but we still haven’t reached the root of her importance to me beyond just “everything”, and I do mean Everything, even her flaws, though that’s a topic for another time.

     “Do you not agree that dismissing a different set of values due to ignorance is foolish?”

   This. This is the driving force behind my interpretation of Sonia, and always will be. This reflects so much in the game. How she’s the one to ask everyone if tying up Komaeda will solve anything, but if it’s what’s everyone agrees to she won’t object. She’s genuinely the only person in game to stop and think about Komaeda even if he is “troublesome” (excluding Chiaki and Hajime), and I spotted that a mile away even when I hated his guts in story mode. It doesn’t matter to her if someone’s ways of thinking is strange, she wants to understand. She wants to know how they think, and this extends to her interest in true crime and serial killers as they shouldn’t be thought of as “mere murderers”, because their reasonings are far more complex than that. It doesn’t mean she will agree with them, but she doesn’t want to dismiss them as just.. unreasonable, because to them they are being reasonable and just have different values. She wants to know the why.

   As well though this is just my headcanon, Sonia’s been stalked with the intention of being murdered. It’s cathartic to her to learn about things like this. Again, that’s a topic for another time tho since this is getting way too long.

   She’s so… often thought as naive, but that shouldn’t be confused as ignorant. The language barrier doesn’t help. Sonia’s one of the smartest in the cast and I will defend that as truth forever??? She’s so so smart, she’s so talented, like holy shit. 30 languages? All these topics that’s required of her to know because of her being apart of this strange and almost fairytale-like land’s royal family? Like, holy shit.

   But, we learn through the little tidbits she gives us Novoselic is far from perfect. You can read in between the lines (um hello? Weapons everywhere despite it being a peaceful nation? Basically raising children soldiers with them knowing how to drive tanks in grade school? An underground blackmarket for creatures we only know are a nobility status and required for courting, and grow/shrink when angered and scared or whatever I think that’s it tho?), and see how unhappy she is with her country with certain things. (Sonia mentions how consuming a Skong is her country’s ritual for her to be recognized as an adult but she refuses to do it) She wants to change her country for the better. It’s time to move forward and Sonia wants to be the one to start it.

    There’s also so much she’s hiding from everyone. Her final FTE is her breaking down in front of Hajime, collapsing and sobbing in his arms as she cries out how she wants to go home. How he thinks she’s finally letting herself act like a normal girl, and how before he had thought “of course she’s scared”, when he sees her hands shaking and that being her only betrayal. It’s just…. gahhhh… I could talk about her for hours.

   She’s just so… so, so amazing. There’s a fire inside her and just this overwhelming kindness to everyone and she’s so strong. She inspires me. She’s so fun to explore and crack at because I want her to experience everything, and imagining her in alternate universes like siren sonia or serial killer sonia (which um I’ll start up again someday) is so fun, because I always make sure she is still Sonia at her core. I want her to feel, I want her to break, get angry, fall in love, develop both positively and negatively and see how it changes her.    I’ve said it before but always kinda jokingly… idk, the best answer to “what does she mean to you” is… Idk, she’s my daughter. Not my waifu, not my lover, not my whatever. A daughter. I love her. She makes me happy. I have a little nendoroid of her??? And I kiss her little head for good luck when I’m going out and feeling nervous, and it’s my favorite thing in this world, I about cried when I got her as it was random chance. I’m… IDK IM CRYING RIGHT NOW. There’s so much to say about her but I can’t say it properly just how much she means to me and why she inspires me so. She just does, she’s not perfect but she’s so wonderfully important to me, not only for my creativity, but like. She’s my rock.

   It’s… really something, when you learn so much both about the world and yourself through roleplaying and researching a muse. And, just what I’ve been through, it’s all because of her. I don’t think things would’ve been the same if I had chosen someone ese to roleplay first…  I’ve had people compare Sonia to me, and gosh is that a delightful feeling that makes me smile. She’s radiant and makes people feel at ease, and it’s a blessing to know I evoke the same emotions and people feel strongly enough to make a comparison. That I’m doing something right. I don’t think she is me, I’d never use the word kin, its just… idk? Being compared to someone you really care about is an amazing feeling. It makes me want to keep doing what I’m doing.

    But ahh… I’m, rambling so much and Idek if I’M MAKING SENSE? I love her, I really love her, and nothing comes close to what ideas she’s given to me and what peace she brings as well. Like okay, Ik it’s fun to shit on ko/daka a lot but I’m so thankful for him bringing her into existence.     Ughhhh I’m crying and CANT SEE ANYMORE so maybe this is where it should end. Please just know I absolutely adore this character and I am honored that I bring her to life for people through roleplay and invoking emotions (being proud of her, being scared for her, etc, not only just cause Sonia but gosh is it powerful when you know people are moved by your writing) through that, that I can bring others to appreciate her (even Sonia haters to liking her, which is such a feat) and love her too. To make people understand her a bit more and how many layers, some even contradictory, she has.   I really really hope this makes things a bit clearer even if it’s a mess of emotions, and that it’s the sweet sweet feels dump that you wanted.

   there’s so much more i can say but i figure this is enough

[booksong]

Fic Writers Week 2017: Day 1

Prompt: Words of Validation

First off, let me state what will be obvious to most fellow writers--I love literally each and every comment I get, knowing that someone was moved or excited enough about what I wrote to put that effort in.  Seeing that comment notification always makes my day brighter, whether it’s on my most popular fics or one with only a handful of hits.  If you are someone who’s ever commented on a fic of mine, know that I read it and loved it and appreciated it so, so much!

That said, there are definitely a few comments that go that extra mile, and become the ones that inspire you, comfort you, and that you reread so often you basically memorize them.  I’ve copied a few here below the Read More.

-There are few better moments in the fanfic writing life than when you participate in a fandom gift exchange, and your recipient leaves you a comment with their reaction.  From my Akisae fic Hazard Label:

i can die happily now thank you SO MUCH for writing this for me, this is so perfect and nbd but im gonna like, liveblog this while i read bc you deserve a long ass comment about how good this is. u deserve everything in the world for this fic, tbh

"Akiteru couldn’t imagine anyone being in charge of Tanaka Saeko" ok but same.... i love this line so much it's so in character im dead

WTF IM SO....... I CANT DEAL....... “You know, when Kei-kun blocked Ushijima’s spike that first time, I thought you were going to fall over the railing. I was seriously preparing to grab your jacket and save your life.” AND RHE NWXT PART??????

IM.... IM SO EMOTIONAL I LOVE SHY FLIRTING “And the first thing I thought, after I was sure you weren’t going to die, was that I really, really wanted to kiss you.”

also i love how akiteru is practicing with karasuno and playing with his brother... tbh that means a lot to me, and their relationship... god this is so good

“I keep telling you, I kinda like dating a girl who can kick my ass.” me too akiteru, me too. i love girls like that. they could kill me and i'd say thank u, honestly. saeko is rly high up on that list...

also YES I LOVE THE 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU type, omg saeko actually reminds me of kat a bit, tbh... i can totally see it. i wanted to cringe at the pet names but it was so cute that i couldnt do it. its just. im dead now... i love u for this thank you so much i appreciate this

RIP Mairin (1997-2016) Cause of Death: this fucking fic

- I’ve been absolutely blown away by the positive reception to my first Daisuga fic, Add New Contact over the past couple years.  Here are just a couple of the many fantastic comments it’s gotten:

I have been grinning at my phone for the past ten minutes because this is so CUTE omg! Possibly the cutest thing I've read all year. Daichi is such a lovesick NERD and I love how he keeps trying to rationalize what he's doing. (In his defense though, I would break my phone to see Suga too.) And Suga sneaking into Daichi's phone may have made me laugh. I would say I want more of this, but it ended so perfectly! Thanks for sharing!

I reread this fic for the third time and honestly idk why but this time it makes me cry (r u even serious) it has been a while since i read haikyuu and them fics or doujin (since the Yuri on ice fever) and i've kind of forgotten how much i love these two. Think i cried just because now i remembered how cute those two are and GAHHHH I LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE SO SO SO MUCH i can't even express how much i love this fic in words???? Like it wouldn't ever be enough to say how much i adore this fic gdi, yes daisuga has been my fav otp since who knows when, but this fic makes me fell A LOT MORE for daisuga than i have ever been. They're so in characters and all of the dialogues and inner thoughts are so sweet and just, reALLY REALLY THEM. your characterization is perfect and honestly if i should ask for more, then i really want more daisuga from you, 'cause really, your writing style. Geez. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. You make me ship them even more and ghhhhhhh this is surely one of my all time favorite fics in the universe. And no i'm not exaggerating at all. Please never stop writing stuffs. Thank u for existing and for making this fic exists love u bless u 

I've been having a really rough time, but this fic made me smile so big and so much, I could barely stand it, ahaha. Thank you so much for brightening my day with this adorable fic. You wrote every character so well, and it just solidified for me just how much I love DaiSuga. <3

Thanks again!

- Finally, comments that are given to my works that are more about character-study than shipping, or that I put a lot of personal feelings into, hold a special place for me.  I wrote Things We Forged in the Fire as a celebration of Morgiana, one of my favorite ladies, and reading that my characterization resonated with people really touched me:

This is absolutely perfect, you really capture the ferocity and gentleness of Mor, I'm a bit jealous of you. Also the alimor was divine, subtle and sweet, mutual respect is such a key component of their relationship, yet it's left out a lot.

Anyway this is going down under one of my favorite Magi fics (don't have ao3 account) Keep up the good work!

I love this story! I really don't leave comments in archive of our own because of the need to leave an email address but, this story just needed to be commented on how fantastic it is. I have just been reading Magi and I also believe that Morgiana is one of the most bad-ass character ever! And, you are also correct that there are not many stories that are dedicated to Mor (or to Mor and Alibaba as a pair) which is quite sad.

I like the way that you described Mor and Alibaba's relationship. It was not forced and I really appreciate that because even if AliMor (is this correct?) is my "ship", sometimes some stories just fail to capture the mutual respect that Alibaba and Morgiana have for each other. Also, grammatically, I did not find any mistakes (though I'm not an expert in that particular area) and your use of words was simple and understandable yet it also captures what you want to convey to your readers.

I really hope that you would be making more stories about Morgiana (she's such an under-appreciated character!) or about her and Alibaba (since this is my ship after all. Hahaha). Are you considering making a multi-chaptered story for them? (*blinks at you with puppy eyes). I would definitely read them. More power to you and may you write more stories for Magi! And, happy new year! :)

So basically, comments help keep us writers going, and we love your enthusiasm and excitement.  Never worry that your comments are annoying, too long or short, too full of caps lock, too ramble-y, or not detailed enough.  We love them all!  

[infnthoya]

Hello my favorite Howon stan!!

he really needs all the love he can get from inspirits Also I would like to thank you veeeeeery much for that sweet reply I got from you in June!!!! I never got the chance to properly express my gratefulness, so I am doing it now ^^. I was feeling pretty sad at that time and your words were exactly what I needed to hear, they made me smile and gave me courage to believe in my boys and their choices Also, please remember that you deserve all the pretty things in the world and if you ever feel like life is hard on you, just know that I am sending all my positive thoughts towards you and that you are never alone

GAHHHH MY FAVORITE ANON!!!! I HAVE BEEN IN A WONDERFUL MOOD THANKS TO YOUR EXTREMELY SWEET MESSAGES 💜💜💜 IM SO SO SO THANKFUL TO YOU AND ITS ME WHO DOESNT KNOW THE REASON WHY AN ANGEL LIKE YOU HAS FOUND ME!!! Your words ALWAYS lift me up! You give me strength, you make me smile, you warm my heart everytime you send me a message so i cant thank you enough seriously, no words could be enough to tell you how much i appreciate your presence 😍😍About Howon’s departure, i somehow had prepared myself for it. Maybe becuz i always expect the worst scenarios, i had always thought about him leaving. Even before those ‘everyone renewed contract except one member’ news came out. And… im actually happy because like you said, he is capable of so many things so im just very excited to see him show us more than he could ever done as a part of a group, under the control and restrictions of a company.I have been writing him almost everyday for a while. Becuz his silence was making me feel worried. i was also going thru a pretty bad time back then (as you already knew and supported me greatly💜) that i didnt even want to go on tumblr so i thought that him staying silent might have meant he was going thru a hard time as well. I was guessing he would read our messages but i guess yesterday he wanted to make some of us cheer up a little becuz he thought he hurt us 😭😭😭 you know he is the type who always carries huge burdens on his shoulders so it must have been too hard for him. Im glad he got rid of that burden now. And im also verg proud of the Inspirit fandom for receiving the news in such a nice way. I was scared they would bash him and had i seen sth like that, id teach them a lesson or two! (Tho a friend of mine told me there were some stupid comments but i havent seen any personally)I totally understand why you and everyone else feel in despair tho. It really isnt easy to see OT7 become OT6. We all thought they would at least reach a decade together. But i wouldnt blame the boys even if they disbanded. Because i want them to do what they wanna do the most.You know what honey, i really believe that he will go to Poland very soon! I mean after some time passes and all this hype slowly dies down, im sure he will go on a vacation to take his time to relax and Poland would definitely be in his list of places to go 👍 And YES please tell him a little about me when you get to have a long talk with him 😁😁😁 you are always so sweet to me also very funny i just wanna squish your cheeks and hug you till you hate me hahahhaa 💜💜💜💜You really dont ever have to thank me baby! I LOVE talking to you and im glad that i could make you feel better! You can talk to me/ask me about anything, please dont ever hesitate to write to me. And PLEASE PLEASE STOP TELLING ME ALL THOSE THINGS THAT I DONT EVEN DESERVE 😭😭😭 im not that nice PLEASE JUST… ahhh im speechless when you write such extremely sweet things to me. You express yourself very nicely but here i am saying the same things over and over again 😭😭 i really dont know what i did to deserve you and your wonderful wishes! You are the true angel here for being so nice and i hope that all your nice wishes and prays will find you even more 💜💜💜💜💜 i truly think of you often and hoping that you are okay. Whatever the things are that keeping you busy, i hope they are the things that you enjoy doing. Dont stress yourself over anything okay? Whatever you are going through, i know you can do it perfectly so dont ever rush things and be easy on yourself *hugs you tight* 😍😍

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aaaa im getting stupidly inspired to work again on my old Dating Sim Ghost Tragedy Game since I had that dumb idea today about a new Dating Sim Ghost Tragedy Game I’ve had like five separate ideas for different tragic undead datey games :P Lets talk about this particular one!! I’m pretty tired so I cant really write it a big post like i did with today’s new idea, but I’ll try my best ^_^

The idea is that it’d be sort of a traditional medieval fantasy setting but its more like a slice of life tale of the regular citizens in these sorts of worlds, rather than a big destined hero thing. Sorta like the appeal of the Atelier series? I’m thinking the protagonist could maybe be a blacksmith or a gardener or some other down-to-earth job? I just feel like he’s a hardworking chill sort of dude, sometimes kinda comes off as emotionless to others, kinda depressed but devoting himself to his work helps him smile again. He’s really passionate about whatever he does! And i think deciding his job would be a big step towards developing this idea, because having it as a minigame would help add structure to the plot and some relief from the sadness. I dont wanna make it too similar to Atelier though... So yeah, the protagonist is this cute mid-twenties relateable fella who’s just trying to do his job. I think I wanna give his outfit dungarees or something? I feel like he’d always look a bit work-uniform-style even when he’s off duty, he’s kinda too lazy to change clothes. A perpetually bored and disinterested guy. Or, at least that’s the impression he gives off to people who don’t know him, he only brightens up around the few friends he has. AND HE PUTS 100% INTO THAT SMILE, GODDAMMIT

And then his childhood friend is someone who actually was sort of a ‘standard rpg hero’, but a really sad subversion of it. At the moment he’s currently the main love interest, and he’s still sorta the catalyst for the plot and the mysteries and all, even if you don’t pick him. or I dunno, maybe I’ll just make it only one love interest but many multiple endings, but I think this character would be happy if his love interest was happy with somebody else in the endings where they dont get together. He’d be crying but happy. Anyway, my mental image for him now is this really weary chronically shy cinnamon roll who’s like a big ol tall beanpole knight with long rapunzel hair that he hides behind. Maybe white hair cos that’d fit thematically with his plot, but is that too sephirothy? When they were children, knight-guy used to be this bright and uplifting figure who always protected protagonist and had such great dreams of being a hero who could save everyone! And he went off to join the army at a young age, and then he just... shattered. He came back disgraced as a deserter, the decade of loyal service ignored by all his former neighbours just because he’d quit in the end. He had a complete breakdown and just couldnt take the violence anymore, now he’s barely 23 years old and already retired. And completely alone. No family, just trying in vain to take care of his fragile self as he locks himself away in his house and everybody gossips about him. And the thematic thing is that his biggest fear is spiders. The moment he snapped was when he was left injured on the battlefield unable to move for hours, trapped under a pile of bodies of his fellow soldiers, trying to play dead to survive. He just remembers seeing a spider crawling across the face of the man next to him, the man in pieces... So everyone horrid in the village likes to mock him by scaring him with spiders, and I havent decided on his name yet but he probably has a spider-based nickname. He’s unlucky enough to even look spidery :P

Ooooooohhhhhh and for extra irony, the village is next to a magic forest populated by demon spiders. WHOOPS, FATE HATES YOU! They’re kinda like both the gods and demons of this village, they’re seen as morally bankrupt dangerous trickster spirits that’ll do whatever they want regardless of good and evil. Everybody talks about how horrible they are and warns that anyone who does [insert sin according to our religion] will be cursed by them, but they also make offerings to them and consider them entirely responsible for the success of the harvest, etc. Its like if you knew your gods were unpredictable dicks but you still tried to placate them with gifts! (like most old european pantheons I guess) And even though this setting is indeed a magical one, the existance of the spider spirits is kind of an unknown mystery similar to real life gods. People very rarely see them in times of need, and nobody can ever prove it really happened. The forest is indeed the ‘forest of spiders’ but the only proven fact is that it has a lot of (as far as we know) completely ordinary spiders in it. Nobody knows why so many spiders cluster in this one area, so making up a legend about gods seems like a possible thing that could happen. or maybe this one area really is the centre of the world where the One True Spiders weave the webs that tell the future, and these are their mortal followers praying in worship much like the humans do... Anyway, its just a cool aesthetic thing of a cobweb-encrusted forest where entire trees get coccooned annually as the seasons come and go~ And a cool civilization that has a lot of trade in silk and weaving! Kinda based on the old ps1 game Jade Cocoon, though that revolved around magical spirit silkworms instead.

At the time the story starts, best friend knight guy has been back home for a fair few years now. Him and protagonist met again, and protagonist is goddamn determined to take care of his ill friend and somehow manage to convince the town to take him back! Its basically two depressed people holding on to each other as their lifeline, and helping each other compensate for the things they’ve each been robbed of. Protagonist struggles with expressing emotion and being a complete pushover who can never tell anyone what he really wants, so its helping him a lot that for once he’s determined and won’t just mindlessly obey his parents. You cant tell me to cast aside my best friend! Plus best friend just generally thinks the goddamn world of him and helps him be happy! And best friend suffers from seeing himself as worthless and being anxious about disaster at every turn, feeling that nobody loves him and nobody SHOULD love him. And not being capable of taking care of his more mundane day-to-day needs because he doesnt believe he deserves to like.. eat, sleep, leave the house, etc. Poor guy... I’m so glad I invented a protagonist character that can be there for him! And seriously they both just renew each other’s self worth and I’m getting so emotional about this pairing before I’ve even developed it... GAHHHH

SO YEAH LETS GET DOWN TO THE ACTUAL PLOT It was kinda necessary to establish the history leading up to it, because that’s why it’s so tragic :(

Last year, the protagonist’s best friend vanished overnight and never came back. Everyone says he just ran away again like a coward, nobody even looked for him except you. They say he was last seen walking into the forest, and nobody will listen when you say that’s IMPOSSIBLE! His biggest fear was the spiders! The protagonist frantically tried to find him.. tried to find his body... tried to at least investigate this murder mystery and find some closure... tried to at least convince people that it WAS a murder mystery.... With the loss of the person he cared about most, the protagonist has slunk back into his own shell again, and starts to give up hope on life. Facing the same pariah treatment they gave his spider-fearing friend, he eventually learns to stop asking questions, to stop searching, to just do whatever his parents said. And his parents said he has to have an arranged marriage, to restore their reputation, after his STUPID STUNT of causing so much FUSS over the death of some stupid deserter... Each day blends into the next, as life becomes once again just going through the motions of being a ‘proper man’. Then... One day... He comes back. The spider-haired best friend comes walking though your door like nothing had happened! But.. he isn’t quite right. Your joy starts fading to a growing dread. He doesn’t remember what happened? He walks straight past the people heckling him? He seems more peaceful than he’s ever been, he’s fearless again and he keeps answering your questions with exactly what you’re desperate to hear. Sometimes you swear you see him talking to spiders whenever you turn your back... So you have to adjust to having him back, and try and figure out the mystery of his dissappearance while worrying whether you can trust him or not. You even entertain irrational thoughts that the legends are true, and maybe you’ve invited a forest spirit into your home because it mimicked the voice of the man you loved. And... what will you do about that love? For the first time ever he’s recipricating your feelings, he knows all those words that went unspoken, as if he could hear you every night as you wished you’d confessed while you had the chance. Is this really him holding you close, or is it a cruel trick to offer you everything you wanted, so the forest can claim you just like it claimed him?

So yeah, gameplay would be like exploring around each day searching for clues, doing a certain job-based minigame, and having chances to either go down the dating sim path or mistrust this man that may or may not be the one you knew. Even options perhaps to develop a romance with other characters instead? But will there be consequences for instilling jealousy in something otherworldly...? I think maybe if you just jump right into romancing possibly-friend-possibly-doppelganger, then you get a bit of a bad ending. Agreeing with him 100% and never solving the mystery is bad, regardless of whether he’s actually trustworthy or not. Either way it ends tragically, but there might be possibly a way to get a true romance ending with him if you actually do keep on top of resolving the main plot as well as just smooching. I... won’t say whether his romance is good or bad though :P And there’d be one not-romance route, where its kinda like you have to work hard to avoid romance! The protagonist’s arranged marriage is a big problem, he’d resigned himself to that fate but now he’s starting to hope he can confess to the one he really loves instead. But he’s gotta go against the whole damn world trying to force him into this ‘destiny’... Oh and I wanna make the most of the spider aesthetic! I was thinking that ‘fate threads’ could be a big gameplay element, with the possibility of getting these out-of-context flashforwards and clues that can help you avoid a bad ending. (Like in Until Dawn!) And romance meters would be a silk thread connecting the two of you, because pretty interface elements are awesome :)

POINTLESS RANDOM DEVELOPMENT TRIVIA This is actually a super old idea that’s remained undeveloped for many years! Back when i was a lil teen I originally imagined sort of a similar thing but with mermaids/water spirits instead of spider ones. And a lake instead of a forest, naturally. Also it kept flip-flopping on the genders of the characters. Ultimately i decided delicate spider aesthetic would fit better with a m/m couple and terrifying swamp creatures of fierceness would be better as sapphic. And the het idea died quickly cos it was based on dumb gender roles that the shy one has to be the girl, blablabla :P Oh and for some reason the whole spider idea came from reading one particular case in the manga adaptation of Ace Attourney. Weird, huh?

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also wtf who designed rune factory 4 this way THIS IS MY ONLY COMPLAINT IN AN AMAZING GAME why are all the romance routes entirely random?? even after youve reached the relationship milestones its COMPLETELY RANDOM whether the event will start every day same for every friendship event and town event and even some plot events you just have to sit there at your bed constantly skipping days for multiple years til the random number god gives you the marriage scene you did EVERYTHING to earn this marriage scene and you have nothing left to do but wait and youll never see any new events with that character until it happens, and you have a very limited amount of dates to go on while youre waiting, and they all do NOTHING except raise the relationship bar over maximum which does nothing. doesnt even increase the chance of the random event?? why even LET me increase it over maximum if it does nothing? thats just tricking me into thinking i havent unlocked the marriage event yet! when I HAVE and i just need to WAIT A BAZILLION YEARS OF RANDOM

anyway i finally got Leon’s random marriage quest and it was Awesome and So Many Tears and now im even more conflicted on who to marry gahhhhh its such a shame you cant resolve everyone’s plot unless you date them, i feel so bad dating all these people when im not able to marry them all, just cos i wanna fix their lives and make them happy but then theyre gon be sad that we didnt get married aaaa

and Leon is especially saddddd

now cos his whole plot is that he had a depressing scenario with a friend as a kid. She loved him but he saw her as just a little sister, and he jokingly promised to marry her once when they were too young to understand. And he didnt know she took it seriously until after he DIED and reincarnated as a fox monster person centuries later too late to do anything about it. And he’s crushed full of guilt that he somehow led her on, and he was never able to apologise, and he’s scared she spent her whole life waiting for him to come back. and then you get this very cool series of sidequests thatre a realistic look at translating languages, and its really motivational how leon is able to help bring knowledge of a dead language back to life and preserve the ancient culture that people thought was lost BUT THEN ENDLESS FUCKIN TRAGEDY kiel accidentally finds an old diary of leon’s friend (WHAT ARE THE ODDS) and he has frickin detailed anxiety attacks unable to even hold the damn paper cos he’s shaking so much and you go on a big treasure hunt to find all the pages and he’s just CRYING SO MUCH mr playboy man! mr flirty asshole! mr stoic! he’s fuckin crying and he cant hold a book without your help and aaaa and his whole story is about how he isnt really the negative stereotypes of a flirty character, he really REALLY values love and he feels depressed he cant love everyone who loves him, so he tries to fake it. And he tries to push people away whenever it seems genuine, but also like... entertain them enough that they dont feel he doesnt love them, i guess? and no matter how promiscuous a person is, they still cant love EVERYONE, you cant just force a relationship on them and say they must be asking for it cos they date other people and enjoy sex. its so depressing that he considers his biggest flaw that he wasnt able to force himself to love someone he didnt, especially when he did care about her, just as a best friend instead! if theyd just talked about it, it would have saved all this heartache for both of them! so then we start piecing together this book and it looks like his worst fears are confirmed, she spent her whole life waiting for him and hating him and its really fucking EXPLODINGLY SAD and then the quest is a bit confusing so i spent several days stuck on this point not knowing who to talk to next, going through random dungeons in case that somehow helped. turned out i did find the right spot but the quest just doesnt progress until you talk to the right person first GAH! stuck for five days on crying leon scene!! NOOOOOO but I finally got past it and CLIMACTIC HAPPY END or bittersweet end more like we find out we mistranslated one bit which was actually PAGE NUMBERS, and we were missing a page all along! and then the final page reveals that she actually moved on and found a new love and had a happy family and grew old together, and her only frustration with leon was imagining that he couldnt find the same thing, worrying that she’d betrayed him. So this wasnt a diary, it was actually a letter she wrote for him to find, having confidence he’d wake up someday and have another chance at happiness! She just wanted him to know that she kept his memory alive and she’s sorry and she was happy and AAAAAAUUUGH im tearing up again the bit that really got me was that we find out that leon’s favourite romance novel was actually written by her. It was so popular it survived into the modern day as a literature classic, and it convinces him that she really was happy with her new boyfriend if she could write something as beautiful as this. And he wants to embody the spirit of the book with you, and keep his new promise to her to have a happy family of his own :) ... AGHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHH why cant i marry everyone why do so many of them have plots where it seems like they wont be happy unless i love them... even now i dont really think the leon pairing is my favourite, i wish i could have had this plot as a friendship route! i think it would have resonated just as much since the whole backstory is about him being friends with someone who had unrequited love for him. i wanna be leon’s bestie and ultimate wingman! I like him a lot but I dont really think i wanna marry him! IM SO SORRY LEON AAAA he’s such a soulful beefcake dammit I’m sure he’d find a bazillion better lovers! I’m sure a lot of players did marry him! WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY AAAAA its not fair, aaaa arthur was the first one i dated and i also really care about him but in his case his way of acting in the romance isnt very different to when youre just friends so i dont think i wanna commit to that relationship maybe? it might change when i see his final random event but i dont get much ‘he’ll be happy with you’ vibes, its just strengthening their powerful brotp that they had from the start of the game. he feels like someone protagonist would indeed date, but theyd part again on friendly terms after it didnt work out, and then be amicable exes who still care a lot about each other. and I just feel like I wanna marry dylas even though he’s had the least tragic events so far. gahhhh! he just seems SO HAPPY dating you, and has loads of character development since it started, unlike the other two ive seen the dates for. he feels like he’s actually getting something out of this that he wouldnt if we were just friends? its so hard trying to weigh up the pros and cons of romance options in games when im inacapble of actually being attracted to anyone, its just ‘i care about you all and i wanna give you the best possible ending’. I haaaaate when games have it so that romance is always the best possible ending for every single character and they all suffer forever if you dont pick them :P and I havent even seen the romances with the other three dudes yet! GAHHHHH!! Theyre all the ones I wasnt immediately interested in dating, but that opinion could totally change, i could end up with a six way tie :P ... ALSO RANDOM BUT is anyone else really uncomfortable with the queerbaiting in this game? there is a LOt, a LOT of ‘lol maybe gay’, sometimes so clear that it seems the game is outright canonically stating this character is gay or bisexual yet you have no option to marry them unless youre the opposite sex. It gets REALLY uncomfortable with Dylas, he just,,, does not express any interest in women at all unless the player pursues him. And his mutual crush with doug is CONSTANTLY REFERENCED, and called out very clearly for what it is. IOf the game didnt keep pointing it out i would have been able to shrug it off as just accidental chemistry from a failed rivalry plotline or something, but we have EVERYONE saying ‘oh a lover’s quarrel’ and ‘be honest about your feelings’ and ‘i bet you wanna see doug in a swimsuit’ and ‘gee i really wanna see doug in a swimsuit’ and IT CANT BE ANY MORE CANON THAN THIS. And.. like.. Dylas even says he DOESNT wanna see women in swimsuits, he’s just here at the beach cos Doug might come along. He does not express any interest in women at all except the protagonist! It makes me feel SO uncomfortable! it feels like he’s actually gay, when with most other characters they seem bisexual?? I dunno how to explain it, thats just how it comes off to me. Why is there no option for him and doug to date, why cant i date him as the male protagonist?? His romance route is so totally gender neutral, i did the postgame protagonist swap cheat and it just feels more in-character for him this way. if im gonna steal him away from Doug i dont want it to be a weird gay conversion therapy type thing, it just feels so WEIRD. The one and ONLY stated crush he has on another character, and its gay, and theres NO OPTION FOR IT TO HAPPEN and then he suddenly becomes 100% straight and never talks about doug again if a fem protagonist dates him. SO WEEEEEIRD... I’m just gonna sit here on the non-canon bonus feature dylas x male protag train and never leave. If you cant have doug you shall have the transitioned me! Its funny cos he’s like the only batchelor i very vehemently cannot ship with fem protag, yet do with male protag :P but GAHHH leon deserves a family and i could give him a child and aaaaa SO HARD TO CHOOSE also i am sad that the postgame cheatmode lets you switch to any character but if its not one of the two protags its only your overworld model and not your face portraits. Its weird because every batchelor and batchelorette has the exact same full set of emotions and costumes, so why cant i access that?? its also a shame cos it means i cant roleplay my doug and dylas marriage properly :P CMON MAN WHY U EVEN TELL ME THEY IN LOVE IF THEY CANT BE IN LOVE :P they have the best portmanteau ship name too! douglas! :P