#I. for context: Shitty teacher. That's not how you spell his fucking name

[potted-cilantro]

If you will not listen to my words jeffrey perhaps you will listen to my FISTS

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Man: Life Story #4 Thoughts Part 1: Doc Ock Disservice

In retrospect issue #1 of this series was a mixed bag, issue #2 was bad, issue #3 was hot trash and now issue #4 is...

 Well...it depends.

See I usually try my best to write these basically as soon as I’ve read an issue. However a trip to my LCS and back is at least a 2 hour round trip and I had to head into work practically immediately after getting back. Consequently I’m writing this several hours later than I would have liked.

My initial gut feeling during and immediately after reading the issue was that this was a mixed bag. But ruminating on it more it’s gone down yet further in my eyes.

Maybe I’m not diving deep enough into it but my gut feelings on this (which is what these posts are, they’re not reviews where I try to be more actively analytical rather than ‘free style’ it) it’s...not AS bad as prior issues; issue #3 being the absolute nadir thus far.

Perhaps that is due to now knowing how messed up this series is I knew what I was getting into and what to expect thus I was less aghast by what I saw. Perhaps it was the fact that this issue, unlike issue #3, didn’t slap my intelligence in the face with asinine historical politics and the most aggressively stupid attempt to homage my fav Spidey tale, KLH.

However some of my...I don’t know the right term...my feeling less disdainfulness, towards this issue might stem from Peter’s age.

See when you do the math canon Peter Parker’s lifespan can be viewed as encompassing the amount of time covered in issues #1-3, that is to say ages 15-mid 30s. Thus there was a certain degree of precedence involved, a certain roadmap for us to compare LF Peter to.

But in this issue Peter is around 48 years old. This is well beyond the age of canon Peter Parker and only AU versions of the character have ever approached that age and being AUs they aren’t great sources for comparison. The closest thing we have is MC2 Peter Parker who was in his early 40s and different in his attitude and outlook to LF Peter. However that could be due to being younger, having his family and being retired for 10+ years thus making him more positive towards the prospect of being Spider-Man.

LF Peter is fed up, tired and wants to stop being Spider-Man. Any of the old enjoyment he ever derived from it is long gone. As is apparently his desire to remain ‘relevent’. Guess he got over that early mid-life crisis he went through in issue #3. You know that mid-life crisis that led to him using an alien performance enhancer that was allegedly addictive.

Actually more than a few of this issue’s problems can be owed to older issues, and specifically issue #3.

First of all...so America is still around. Um...yeah wasn’t there a war with Russia happening last issue? Wasn’t there a nuclear arms race that was hotter than the Cold War ever was in real life?

I suppose given how utterly unrealistic it was that Russia nuked an American town and then nuclear Armageddon didn’t ensue in issue #3, this issue is consistent in it’s boneheaded lack of realism.

And it does offer an explanation. Tony Stark’s weapons ended the war.

...Okay...we need to talk about this again and this time I’m going to spell it out.

So there has been no end of speculative fiction presenting stories revolving around a world where historical events happened differently.

A common example, embodied by the acclaimed show Man in the High Castle, is ‘What if the Axis powers won WWII’.

Life Story has at various turns presented real life historical events but injected superheroes in them whilst also showing them playing out differently.

Iron Man, Giant Man and Captain America went to Vietnam.

Captain America went rogue in Vietnam.

The Vietnam War lasted longer than in real life history.

Russia launched nukes at the USA and destroyed a town resulting in a super hero invasion on Russia and open warfare.

Said war was won by America apparently thanks to Tony Stark’s weapons.

Do you know the difference between Life Story and Man in the High Castle, or indeed most speculative fiction?

It actually explains what happened!

In Man in the High Castle we learn various pieces of the alternate history, among them being that the Axis powers developed atomic weapons before the Allies and nuked Washington DC, eventually winning the war and dividing America between the Third Riech and the Empire of Japan.

In Life Story we find out the Vietnam War lasted longer. Somehow.

In Life Story we find out Tony Stark’s weapons won the war with Russia. Somehow.

WHAT HAPPENED!

At best this is a pointless tease, it’s like sidestory world building. What’s the point of bringing the fact that this world’s history is drastically different but not bothering to elaborate on it at all.

Tony’s weapons won the war. What weapons? How did they win? Give us some details for God’s sake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the story isn’t about the Russian war or the alternate international politics, it’s about Spider-Man. But then...why the fuck is it in the story?

Shit dude, redraft Life Story a little bit and you could more or less exorcise ALL the stuff about international political conflicts and lose nothing. In the case of Kraven’s motivations last issue it’d be an improvement!

Look maybe I’ve got a bug up my butt about this more than most people because I studied history at university, but even putting that aside...it just feels superfluous to this story.

What gets me is that it’s veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery good money the only reason this shit is in the story is to evoke Watchmen (which ‘coincidenally’ is being revisted in Doomsday Clock by DC right now) which was also an example of speculative historical fiction involving superheroes. Which also explained what happened!

Superheroes existed. So they intervened in Vietnam. And they won because of their overwhelming power.

In Life Story we don’t even know who won the Vietnam War or even if it’s over yet!

Moving on a little, so Tony Stark and Peter are at logger heads. Now I dislike Spider-Man’s involvement with Iron Man in recent years but I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand seeing Iron Man not be Peter’s mentor is lovely, but I wonder if Zdarsky was banking on audience familiarity with that dynamic from the films to create a shock moment by portraying a relationship between both men so at odds with what you see in Homecoming.

That wasn’t my first thought though. My first thought was Zdarsky is trading off of the Peter/Tony relationship from JMS’ run...which had nothing to do with the 1990s at all; we’ll talk more about that in a minute.

Finally, not content to write Peter out of character, Zdarsky apparently wanted to write Tony out of character too.

I am no Iron Man expert but by the 1990s...hadn’t he kinda sorta stopped making weapons!

I could forgive it in the older issues because Tony apparently didn���t get out of the arms business in the comics immediately like in the films, so it wasn’t inaccurate to the time periods. But I’m 90% sure he had stopped making weapons by the 1990s. Tell me if I’m wrong please, but if I am not....holy shit what is Zdarsky doing? How does aging in real time = Iron Man would still be a war profiteer?

Let’s leave Stark and the real life history alone and get into the real meat of this story.

Okay so we have Ben Reil-

Wait what?

*re-reads Life Story #4*

...there is something off with this...

*checks Life Story #2*

...um...Life Story #2 clearly states that Peter and Gwen’s clones took on the names Helen and Ben PARKER not REILLY!

Now Reilly makes a lot more sense from both a practical point of view (a guy who looks like Peter Parker with his last name raises questions) and from a referencing canon POV.

But what the fuck is up with the inconsistency?

Who was asleep at the wheel for that one! Oh...but it won’t be the only inconsistency by the way.

So Ben Reilly (who looks more like Ben Urich) is a photogra-

Wait, wait, wait. What again?

Ben Reilly is a...photographer?

...WHY??????????????????????

Look...Peter does have a certain passion for photojournalism, but he prefers science.

Ben Reilly in canon never even considered photography as a job to my recollection. He worked as a lab assistant, a barrista, a bouncer/body guard, a teacher but never a photographer even though that would’ve been an obvious profession to consider.

When Peter began working that job it was a way for him to earn the money he desperately needed to provide for himself and Aunt May whilst also not having his time eaten up with a 9-5.

Sure Ben is also a superhero (the Red Mask...I hope he didn’t dream that up himself...in the middle of a Cold War...) in this universe, but what is motivating him to do that? He’s got science smarts, he has legal documentation from issue #2 allowing him to hold jobs. Why would he not go into a field he both prefers and one that you’d think in a world where there was a war raging with intangible nukes would be of greater use?

I can think of some No. Prize explanations...but that’s the problem.

I  have to think of those explanations. The story, like so much else in this shitty series, doesn’t elaborate.

This goes beyond the characters being different for the sake of being different from canon.

Ben Reilly is doing something that demands an explanation within the context of this series’ unique continuity as established. It’s not even a matter of established characterization based on canon, it’s a matter of established characterization based upon the last 3 goddam issues.

This lack of thought equally applies to our main villain of the issue, Doctor Octopus.

So in issue #2/1977 Doc Ock had reformed because of a heart attack and all that good tender luvin care he got from a woman at least 20 years his senior; Zdarsky does know most people enjoy the May/Otto relationship ironically right, nobody actually thinks it makes sense or was a good idea, but no here it’s the crux of his whole character.

In issue #3/1984 he was...clearly a villain again because he’s obviously attacking Spider-Man in the double page spread depicting Secret Wars.

In issue #4/1995 we learn that Otto was at May’s funeral and this was the last time Peter saw him. Also according to Peter May left Otto long before she died and that was when he just disappeared, Peter presuming he retired in Florida.

So going by issue #4 alone we have something of a contradiction. If Otto disappeared long before May’s death...how could the last time Peter have seen him been at her funeral.

Maybe that’s just phrased a little badly and I’m nitpicking. Fair enough.

What isn’t fair enough though is either Zdarsky isn’t paying attention to his own writing, Bagley and he are not communicating properly or the editor is severely dropping the ball.

May and Otto were clearly NOT together in issue #3 when Otto was also clearly a villain and Peter clearly was aware of this because Otto was attacking him.

Which means Otto must’ve disappeared before then which means Peter would’ve known he hadn’t retired, he’d returned to villainy.

Now a point of praise, Otto blaming Peter for May leaving him, I think that rings true to Otto’s character, let alone an old aging Otto. This is the guy who often saw what he wanted to see, who infamously once wanted to nuke NYC to prove how he wasn’t to be taken lightly even though it’d also kill him too.

Too bad that point of praise is drowned out by his plan in this story which is all wrapped up in the clones.

Okay, okay, Doc Ock had a important role to play in the 1990s Clone Saga so what’s the problem?

The problem is that...I heavily suspect this isn’t riffing on the 1990s Clone Saga.

I think it’s much more likely that it’s riffing on the Ultimate Clone Saga in which Doc Ock was the mastermind behind the clones; coincidentally Bagley drew all three of the Ock Clone Saga tales which is a nice piece of historical symmetry.

Why...is....Zdarsky....riffing....on....a...Ultimate....Universe....story....?????????????????...from the 2000s!!!!!!!!

And in case the jury doesn’t accept that criticism here is another one. Otto feels he’s dying without accomplishing anything.

Um...wasn’t he working with Reed Richards in issue #2?

Otto working legitimately with a big brain like Reed surely would’ve in like 10 years accomplished SOMETHING! He invented so much crazy tech he really didn’t patent any of it, release it to the public?

Couldn’t his arms alone do wonders for disabled people?

I know this is comics so you should suspend disbelief because if you don’t you have to ask why fossil fuels even still exist.

But that’s the problem with this series.

It wants to have it’s cake and eat it.

It wants to show superheroes having a world changing impact on the world as they realistically would...but not go all the way with it.

It wants to have superheroes go to Vietnam and Russia have and use super powered people and intangible nukes but it also wants to ignore the obvious ramifications when it’s inconvenient.

This gets even stupider when you contextualize it within wider Spider-Man media. In the recent, heavily publicized Spidey PS4 video game (that Marvel is adapting as a comic book right now) Doc Ock creates his arms specifically to help disabled people and uses them because he himself is losing control of his motor functions. And in Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon (for 5 year olds) Doc Ock is disabled from the outset and entirely relies on his arms to move around.

So why the fuck did Otto at no point consider using that tech to help the disabled and thereby accomplish something in his life. It’s an obvious idea Reed, Peter or even May must’ve suggested. It probably could’ve helped someone as frail and infirm as May specifically.

We’re also told May left Otto due to his anger. Great use of telling not showing there Zdarsky. Remember how angry Otto seemed in his one other speaking appearance before now?

[knightofbalance-13]

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/163233377889/knightofbalance-13

Well Soku, you just made an ass out of your self. Again.

If you’re talking about FMF he never said that like he had respect for monty and multiple people can tell your otherwise but hey you called the entire fandom because they didn’t agree with you idiots.

Not who I was referring to. he doesn’t, but not who I was referring too.

Nope, just the guy who said Monty “unable to write a plot, animate, develop characters, make decent looking characters, or anything vaguely good. If RWBY can be hardcore garbage with no value whatsoever.” And you said “Rip them up!“ and tried to change the subject to a moral one. (https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/163181907124/okay-so - https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/163181906304/okay-so)

Let that soak in people; this “knight” literally just profiled an entire fanbase and then after talking shit about other people using mob mentality tried the same exact thing he berated.

Mind providing proof for that? Trick question, you can’t. I’ve only ever said that about the RWDE tag so either you’re lying or the collective ego of the RWDE tag is so big they only see themselves as fans.

Your opinion of devalue is idiotic; harsh or not criticism is still criticism and if you want to lecture anyone ,how bout taking your own damn advice and not being an ass to everyone to the point they shit talk you and say what a horrid human being you are.

So...asking RWBY to be shunned from the new crossover game is criticism? (https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/163125143024/deadlykillerqueen-can-someone-make-a-not-you) Saying that it is fucked up that RWBY is in the crossover game is criticism? (https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/163068098829/deadlykillerqueen-guilty-gear-and-melty-blood) Saying RWBy ahs never done anything spectacular is criticism? (https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/163068603209/im-laughing-cause-i-sitting-here-thinking-what) Cuz uh, that sounds like devaluing RWBY to me.

(My grandfather a man who fought for your damn freedom, walks in and see’s your post and states: Theres no sadder sight than the pettiness of men like him. Let that sink in a man who fought in war thinks you’re a piece of shit. I’m ashamed to be apart of the human race; reading your post makes me actually sicn to my stomach.)

And I know you didn’t just misrepresent it, lie about it, make something else up or even have a grandfather that was in a war...how? You’ve lied and cheated so many times that without evidence your words mean nothing. And even if it is true: i’m a Nihilist. those insults do nothing to me. Whatever.

The act of assult is a physical attack you fool, a simple google search can prove that to you easily a literaty teacher would look at you like you’re illterate which you have proven with you misspelling it and is a two letter word so I mean you have no right to comment on misspellings.

And you misspelled “assault” “Literary” and “illiterate.” 1 Vs. 4 so far. And a literary teacher would tell you about this thing called “verbal assault.” Sort of what you are attempting here.

Also you when you” Error “The WHite fang” this guy is the one who talks about others spelling when he shoudl adress his own. my 13 year old sister can spell better. “The WHite fang is a racist subplot.” Need I link the miles saying “I don’t want the plot to be overshadowed by faunus racism” and how he talks about the racist subplot. Also stating hints like the white fang title, the underground rail road etc I mean miles would tell you otuerwise *shrug*

And she can spell better than you too, “should” “address” and “otuerwise” And Miles wanting to focus on the main plot and not a subpot is racist...how? ever heard of the trope “What Do You Mean, It’s Not Political.” Look it up. And I’ve noticed you didn’t address how other racial minorities are not finding this subplot racist, you just moved the goalpost to the question of “is the White Fang subplot racist”. Nice try on the logical fallacy.

“Sit by.” Any proof? cause I can source many who would say otherwise; if you want to be chewed to pieces, also let’s not use them as a crutch to support yor shitty behavior this is about you.

So when Mage got called a homophobe you did something and when RWBY-Analysis got called a homophobe you did something? (https://rwby-analysis.tumblr.com/post/162751186437/ejladybug-its-pretty-low-to-accuse-someone-of) because I don’t see you calling them out or anything. And they were called that for not screeching at RT about BMBLB and defending them so...What am I to think?

People? Kob? people? only YOU been called that by Me because of your previous actions many have against people who again have thousands of reciepts; maybe we should have everyone pile them on ya.

And this makes no sense: “many have against”. Are all of them LGBT? oh wait, considering that my three colleagues in team CRTQ are all LGBT, @mageknight14 and @phoenix-theurge are both bi and my best friends and they are not against calling my behavior out as dreams-or-atlantis can attest when I lashed out against her when Dudeblade betrayed me, Which means that I really can’t be a homophobe if I have LGBT friends who I am okay with calling me out on bad behavior and they have done so in the past: It probably means that I am tired of hearing drama surrounding so -called “LGBT problems” and that I’m sick and tired of seeing my friends blow up because of it. It just means I don’t like some people who happen to be LGBT: I’m not selective against them. Hel, I hate Dudeblade and he’s straight.

Also, good luck finding receipts that don’t incriminate you instead or aren’t edited to only show my responses so you take me out of context.

Again only you when you said racist and sexist bullshit.

And Mageknight...who is black, and Tumblezwei...is a female. And you call e that here and in the post I referenced even though neither are about race or sex.

Consider the post you made and the proof we all have against you; the worst I called you was racist and sexist for racist and sexist actions, you literally sent death threats and think that’s an okay action and action you should go to jail for and let’s be real you’ll be talking all types of shit till those bars close then I’ll be the one saying “I told you so.” hubris. I mean I don’t have a name like kkkob and no one actually hates/blocks me so….choose your words carefully.

Okay Sokukluxklan (guess that makes you a Klan member by your own logic. Or you can admit that logic is stupid and move on):

What about the proof I have against all of you for lying and cheating: that just means your proof will be held into question a lot more than mine. and take into account the number of times you have been shot down due to basic research and a little fact checking (such as your stalking point). Also take into account how when you do provide links, half of them have nothing to do with the subject at hand and then fall under “slander” thus your creditability will be shot. Also take into account that I have provided proof and evidence against you numerous times now and you have not once debunked my sources so my sources are more believable. Also take into account that I brought up the death threat point and asked for evidence and you didn’t address it at all despite, what you said, having thousands or receipts. So therefore, you cannot provide evidence so why should anyone believe you? And then take into account you have told me to kill myself by drinking bleach so you would probably be the one in jail if I so choose.

Take all of this together and anyone who thinks critically will see that you are just trying to draw attention away from your own flaws.

You want to slander me and apply all your failings onto me but as well all know

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 3

So I dropped off the face of Tumblr for awhile, sorry guys! I also rewatched the entirety of Yuri on Ice with my boyfriend and he now likes ice skating anime so that took some time lol But I am back JUST IN TIME FOR YUMOTO’S BIRTHDAY OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS CHILD. So, have a liveblog/collection of my stupid thoughts about one of the more ridiculous episodes! Yay! 

Also, I apologize in advance- some of this episode’s subtext led to an impromptu dissection of the boys’ sexualities/orientations and there are some brief mentions of unsavory teachers (because what kind of teacher holds a pretty boy contest???) so if any of my terminology/speculation is incorrect or you find any of my discussions potentially triggering or in need of tags PLEASE inbox me and I will tag the post as such/correct any misinformation! I am a literature student- I like to analyze things. Sometimes I get carried away~

I SAW THE PREVIEW IMAGE FOR THIS EP ON CRUNCHYROLL AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT ‘HERE WE GO I REMEMBER THIS EPISODE IT’S GONNA BE A TRASH PARADE AND WTF CITY LET’S GO’

Okay- I always wondered about the pretty boy contest… like why? What purpose does it serve? Why are there posters put up in a fucking BATHHOUSE advertising the local boys’ high school’s PRETTY BOY CONTEST. .3 seconds into the episode and it’s ridiculous. 

What do you mean ‘weight with the ladies’ c’mon man I have a hard time believing you care ANYTHING about ‘the ladies’ -eyebrow waggle-

He’s doing pirouettes in a towel… okay seriously bro I danced ballet for like 10 years and I never pirouetted in a towel OKAY THAT’S PROBABLY A LIE BUT YOU CAN’T PROVE IT OTHERWISE

"EWWWW TEACHER DICK”

Aww Yumoto. So innocent. So naive. So willing to point out he just saw his teacher’s penis-

...well that’s an odd question. Yumoto why would you ask-

Oh, shew, it’s because you’re not ashamed of bodies! How sweet and innocent and refreshi-

WAIT BACK UP NEVERMIND YUMOTO WTF THAT’S CALLED VOUYERISM

Those are the faces of some senpais that just came to the realization that their kouhai has probably been checking them out.

Well he got dressed fast.

How do you hire someone by accident?

Took the words right out of my mouth, Atsushi.

This is disturbing on several levels. Pedo Principal? -shudders-

FEET SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY

GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. AKOYA AS A BALLET DANCER OMG. IMAGINE. HAS THIS BEEN DRAWN? THIS NEEDS TO BE FANART SOMEWHERE. HE’D BE SO PRETTY JUST IMAGINE HIM IN TIGHTS BEING THE PRINCIPAL MALE LEAD IN SWAN LAKE OR FUCK EVEN IN A FUCKING TUTU BECAUSE HE’D BE GORGEOUS IN EITHER ROLE I CAN’T EVEN AWKEJFLASJFASLDJFOSIJFOAJ -Cupkayke Explodes-

Arima speaks truth

Io why do you have an exact copy of the calculator I use at work that’s terrifying.

RYUU YOU ARE LYING YOU GO TO AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL THAT IS APPROXIMATELY 0% WOMEN TRY AGAIN

Io looks so disappointed he can’t talk numbers with Ryuu

THEIR CHEESY CATCHPHRASE AGAIN

Side note I feel like the quirkiness of the school got toned down in later eps but perhaps that’s my faulty memory. Which is why I’m rewatching it lol.

Pretty and savage AF

PINK RIVALRY! I mean seriously, “you can’t seem to take your eyes off of me?” Maybe not even a rivalry but something else ohohohohohoh I’m alone on this ship

Okay this creepy teacher apparently calls all the boys ‘sweet honey’ which is disturbing on its own level but that got cranked up to 11 on the creep scale when he referred to YUMOTO as sweet honey. 

Yumoto is a precious cinnamon roll you freak

Paper airplane contest lololol why do I feel like this happened at my school back in the day?

Wombat sounds like a jealous lover lolol

OH BOY! PUNS!

RYUU AND AKOYA TIED FOR THIRD???

HOW DOES AKOYA NOT WIN IN THE LINEUP OF THE SC???

LIKE SERIOUSLY KINSHIROU????

AKOYA IS TEN TIMES PRETTIER!

This school must have a thing for ice princes I s2g

En's boredom is dangerous. I mean... the face says it all.

Ryuu is all “this is NOT up my alley”

A bit slow on the uptake, Yumoto.

Io that’s so sweet... I guess? Well Ryuu seems to think it is- look at his face!

...nevermind. His expression is all “Thanks... I guess...”

Either Yumoto was hoping his senpais would teach him how to be popular with the ladies, or he’s just confused as to what in the hell it is that older boys want. This entire scene is just a clusterfuck of innuendo BUT I’M GONNA OVER ANALYZE IT ANYWAY.

The surface meaning of En and Atsushi’s statements here- or what the audience is supposed to get- is that being popular with girls will only get you so far. It may get you ‘love’ but having a girlfriend means jack squat if you don’t have guy friends (most likely to brag to). 

It also could be taken that En at least would rather appreciate women than exert his energy into making them lust after him, which is rather sweet if you think about it.

Atsushi’s point also draws attention to the fact that stereotypical displays of machismo are much more well-received by other men than women- ie outward displays of strength, aggression, bragging about sexual encounters... er- yeah. No need to go on, there.

So. In order to be a well-rounded man, a man needs to be popular/be admired by other men! So you aren’t a lonely loser the rest of your days.

Buuut... because I’m me... LET’S LOOK AT THE SUBTEXT IN RELATIONSHIP TO THEIR SPECULATED SEXUALITIES 8D

En basically says straight up it’s more beneficial to be admired by men. Putting aside the above statements about admiring women... En’s likely gay. Fosho.

And the top screencap of Yumoto, instead of just clarifying his senpai’s intentions, that could mean that he’s more interested in girls. HOWEVER-

With a c: face, Yumoto admits his heart flutters watching rugged young men!

Bi Yumoto anyone? (He also unironically uses the word ‘flicks’ but that’s either a translator thing or another example of a mysterious dialect but ON TOPIC-)

At least within the context of this scene, Yumoto implies he’d be interested in being popular with girls and he is attracted to at very least a certain type of man. Buuut the rest of this episode (which I will get to later) potentially directly contradicts this implication as to Yumoto’s romantic and/or otherwise attraction.

It’s too bad that we don’t get Ryuu or Atsushi’s opinions on the matter- although Ryuu makes his attractions pretty clear just from his character (and then the subtext with Io). Atsushi is a bit of a mystery, for now. 

As for Io, we get this  exchange-

Le sigh. Io is moneysexual. Anyway...

Wombat so salty- I guess helping Ryuu win a contest is more entertaining than being superheroes.

Me about halfway through this post

En's expressions in this scene are great.

Tho does anyone else now headcanon En as really into athletics when he isn’t being lazy?

Like him really liking competition just fits so well but without a goal he’s just like ‘why bother’

Atsushi sounds so awkward calling him Yufuin

“I can’t just announce him as Enchan that’s weird but I don’t think I’ve ever said his last name ughhhhhhhhh”

Io is NOT playing by the unspoken one urinal in between rule

ALSO I JUST NOTICED YOU CAN SEE THE GUY ON THE LEFT ACTUALLY PEEING WTF

Water go swoosh swoosh

Also their bathrooms are fancy AF

GDI why does Io make the best seduction face

Even tho it’s more predatory here still...

THEY WERE REALLY HEAVY HANDED WITH THE INNUENDO IN S1

The triplets WHY ARE THEIR EYES SO WEIRD

WHAT IS IT WITH THIS SHOW AND SIDE CHARACTERS WITH WEIRD EYES

Ryuu so destructive lol

I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT EN BEING ATHLETIC RYUU DOES FUCKING KARATE

Sparkles

Ibushi is still savage AF

I had to giggle and cap his character card because the image of Atsushi doing gigantic jigsaw puzzles was adorable

YOU’RE A TEACHER WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A PRETTY BOY?

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE VALIDATED BY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS

Did he get scorned and that’s why his self esteem is in the toilet???

1579th pretty boy contest??? Damn Pedo Principal is thirsty AF I am still shuddering at the implications

Tho seriously that’s -does math- ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY ONE YEARS OF PRETTY BOY CONTESTS WHAT THE FUCK

And that isn’t taking into account there would probably be a month or two where school isn’t in session on the 27th to have the pretty boy contest. Like December wouldn’t they be on break? And don’t they have a summer holiday at some point?

IT ISN’T JUST ONE PEDO PRINCIPAL IT’S A DYNASTY

EWWWWWWWWW.

YUMOTO AND RYUU BROTHER RELATIONSHIP I FRIENDSHIP IT LOOK RYUU IS BLUSHING

Yumoto knows he’s a lil shit

What the fuck kind of sound effect is swan swan???

I’m suddenly reminded of Kronk doing his own theme music-

Ryuu so salty he wanted to know the winner

Yumoto that writhing mob of students is pretty gross I agree

SO ZUNDAR WANTS THE ENTIRE WORLD TO BE GAY

THAT’S HIS EVIL PLAN TURN EVERYONE GAY

HE SOUNDS LIKE A SHITTY GROSS POLITICIAN

With that shot angle I was just waiting for him to lay a fucking egg but thankfully that didn’t happen

The subtitle is inaccurate- he actually said ‘GIMME HUG’ which is slightly more unsettling.

EN YOU WANT TO MARRY IT WTF

Yumoto still just like c: “I have no idea what’s going on”

I NOW PRESENT TO YOU THE BEST BOUEIBU SCREENCAPS IN THE HISTORY OF SCREENCAPS 

ATSUSHI SO GRACEFUL

SO ROMANTIC

EN IS JEALOUS

THEY’RE ALL RIDICULOUS

Speaks for itself

And here is where Yumoto contradicts his earlier implications. Okay. 1) Writers make up your minds, although 2) ...shades of gray here.

Perhaps Kurotori’s feather spell represents sexual love (Eros for all you YOI fans~) and Yumoto is either a) too young/innocent to understand or b) somewhere on the ace spectrum. The others were affected because they are either simply older than Yumoto/past puberty or allosexual to the point where the spell could manipulate their feelings despite their existing attractions whatever those may be.

Yumoto’s earlier comments, then, could be taken to mean simply romantic attraction, even though his wording of his “heart fluttering” thanks to Yakuza men is a bit misleading in that respect. (Disclaimer: I am not on the ace spectrum so perhaps I am misrepresenting/misinterpreting here- please correct me if I have made a mistake in my understanding of asexuality- I definitely do not want to offend anyone! Just analyzing~) 

Though to play the other side, En’s comment about marriage, even though he’s under the influence of a spell, also indicates that the spell has romantic components as well as potentially sexual ones. If the spell plays to BOTH- wouldn’t Yumoto be affected as well, based on his earlier assertions?

OR PERHAPS- if it is both, Yumoto is ALSO potentially aromantic and his comments were purely of an aesthetic nature or self projection (that is, he wants to be a dashing Yakuza heartthrob, not necessarily date one). Or he was simply trying to relate to his senpais and was bluffing the entire time.

Damn, this episode can seem REALLY deep if you squint hard enough. Headcanons, abound!

Moving on- WHEN IN DOUBT, HUG THE ENEMY!

Now I’m starting to see some cleverness on the part of the writers- hear me out below- but first- MORE CUDDLES

With this, Yumoto can be read several different ways. 

On the surface and probably most importantly, regardless of what Yumoto’s personal attraction/orientation is (if he’s even figured it out at this point), he knows love at its purest form. He loves his brother. He loves his senpais (even though at this point they barely know each other- Yumoto probably latches on quickly). But more importantly, he is so in tune with his own feelings he realizes that self love is at the core of any type of love. That if you aren’t secure in yourself, if you don’t care about yourself on some level, how can anyone else care about you either?

This is another reason why I love Yumoto even though he can get a bit heavy-handed at times and seem like a one-note character; HE ISN’T.

Yumoto is incredibly introspective and even though his senapis make comments about how he just kind of shoves everything together to fit the situation he really does understand the monster-ified characters’ insecurities.

(Which can lead to some sad headcanons about how Yumoto has probably felt all of these things at one point or another... oh no...)

But back to my over-analysis of Yumoto’s orientation- with this... it’s really up to interpretation.

He can be read as a young character who hasn’t figured things out yet, he can be read as interested in romantic relationships of any variety but not necessarily anything else, he can be read as only interested in platonic relationships- anything. And while the inconsistency in his portrayal can be a bit maddening- it’s GREAT headcanon opportunity.

Thus, unless s3 gives Yumoto a canon interest- he’s whatever you think he is. Which is AWESOME! DO YOU SEE WHY I LOVE THIS SMOL CINNAMON ROLL?

Aaaand some closing, not very deep thoughts to wrap up-

SO BLUSHY. MUCH ANGELIC. WOW.

En you’re always tired

Kinchan... why do you want people to grovel at your feet...?

That’s certainly a random question, En- but for shits and giggles; these are their responses if I’m hearing their voices right:

Atsushi - My neck, I guess?

Yumoto - My arms

Ryuu - Armpits

Io - The nape of the neck.

My brain hurts so I have NO idea what these could mean but I highly doubt they’re throwaway lines- SO YOU GUYS TELL ME. Over-analyze what parts they wash first LOL

OKAY WOW THAT WAS LONG AS FUCK AND I GOT TOO DEEP. Again, let me know if I fucked anything up or need to add tags~ And let me know what you think/what your headcanons are/if there’s something from another canon source that could add to this!

I’ll try to get ep 4 up today as well since it took me forever to get back to this but this shit takes longer than I thought. I watch the ep first and take notes, then go back and re-watch and screencap and take more notes, then copy/pasta everything into tumblr and add more thoughts and make it readable. Shew.

[stop-yanderedev-archive]

damn ari, back at it again with dem rants

Okay, first off, hello again! It’s Ari, the one who had to rant about the person who commented on my post about the faults of YanSim. I’m back again to rant about YandereDev’s current “clearing up misunderstandings” post because that idiot really makes me wanna fight something!

Warning, this post might be long and there won’t a TL;DR at the end, so I apologize in advance!

So first off, if you have to make fucking SEVEN POSTS about clearing “misunderstandings”, then there’s something wrong with you. If you do so much shit that it causes you to make multiple posts about clearing your name, then you’re doing something wrong.

Now, onto some of the points that he made in his nasty-ass post that REALLY pissed me off.

“YandereDev said that pedophilia is just another sexual orientation!”

That’s not what I said. I said that nobody chooses to be a pedophile, just like nobody gets to choose their sexual orientation. I used the words “orientation” and “pedophilia” in separate sentences of the same paragraph, but I did not say that pedophilia IS a sexual orientation

No, just stop right there. Pedophilia and sexual/romantic orientations have ZERO THINGS IN COMMON.

Sexual/romantic orientations are a part of being a person. It changes, it’s fluid. Some people need some time until they are definitely sure they are gay/trans/bi/aro-ace/etc, and some don’t. It’s a normal thing that’s a part of life, such as puberty.

Pedophilia is not a normal thing, nor should it be normalized. It harms others, mainly impressionable minors that don’t know better because they are not as informed as those older than them. Those who act upon these “desires” to pursue romantic relationships with minors are nasty people that need to just go. People choose to be pedophiles because they’re disgusting like that.

You cannot compare the two. It’s as simple as that.

“YandereDev treatened to dox someone into silence!”

That’s not how it went down. I said something I didn’t mean while I was fired up up in the middle of an angry rant about someone who had been harassing me for several months. Obviously, it shouldn’t have been taken seriously. It was an “in the heat of the moment” statement, not a genuine threat.

Firstly, he spelled “threatened” wrong. Sorry, but I get a little nit-picky about spelling. :P

But anyways, what the hell.

I may not know much about this incident, but what I DO know is that the person (they are the original owner of this blog, right?) YandereDev threatened to dox did not harass him in any way. They did nothing of the sort.

And, (again from what I’ve heard) describing a person’s house in detail while you’re threatening to doxx someone is not a heat of the moment thing. You really got to think about stuff like that. Heat of the moment thing is not thinking about what you’re going to say while getting real emotional, and then feeling really guilty about it afterwards. YandereDev, you don’t sound guilty about what had happened. In fact, you sound like you think you’re innocent and didn’t absolutely wrong.

Oh wait, YOU DO THINK THAT YOU’RE NOT THE ONE TO BLAME HERE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN UNSEEMLY ASSHOLE.

“One of the rivals in Yandere Simulator is a pedophile!”

Pedophiles are attracted to pre-pubescent children (younger than 14), and Mida Rana is attracted to boys that are older than 14, so this statement isn’t accurate, but that’s beside the point. Sometimes, video games have antagonists who do bad things, and allow you to punish the antagonists for their evil ways. Some villains kill, some villains kidnap, some villains are sexual predators. If you don’t like Mida Rana, just punish her however you see fit, like any other villain in any other video game.

Say it with me now, kids: MIDA RANA IS A PEDOPHILE BECAUSE SHE IS ATTRACTED TO MINORS. MIDA RANA IS A PEDOPHILE BECAUSE PEDOPHILIA MEANS THAT YOU DESIRE TO HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS WITH MINORS. MINORS ARE THOSE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 OR 21, IF WE’RE PUTTING THIS INTO USA LAW CONTEXT. TARO YAMADA/SENPAI IS A MINOR, IF YOU WANT TO CONSIDER MINORS BEING UNDER 21.

Just because Mida Rana is an antagonist, doesn’t mean you get to brush aside the fact that she’s a pedophile. Villains are villains because you don’t brush aside the reasons that they are in the wrong. Getting the to get rid of Mida in the game still doesn’t make it okay. She SHOULDN’T have been a TEACHER in the first place. She SHOULDN’T have been a RIVAL in the first place.

“YandereDev said that pedophilia is ‘forbidden love’!”

That’s not what I said. I was referring to love between a student and a teacher as forbidden love. Student/teacher relationships are forbidden, irrespective of the age gap between the student and teacher.

LMAO, what the honest fuck is wrong with this dude.

Teachers shouldn’t be interested in having romantic relationships with their students because it is against the law and wrong at the same time. The reason it’s “forbidden” is because teachers hold so much more control over students. They can do things to students because they have more power over them due to their seniority over the student. Plus, relationships with huge age gaps (such as the student/teacher romantic relationship) are very problematic and can turn ugly without a doubt.

Forbidden love is like a royal/noble falling for a peasant; they know they can never be together due to the standards set by their society, but they don’t care because their love for one another is that strong. Forbidden love projects the idea that love conquers all, even if their situation is hopeless. The student/teacher thing is not forbidden love and it will never be. It’s harmful, disgusting, and abusive. Forbidden love is not that, not at all.

“YandereDev reads lolicon manga!”

There was a thread on 4chan where people were editing this image by putting different things in the bag. It was a meme. I could tell that the image had been taken from a sexual manga, but I didn’t care. To me, it was like any other “reaction image” featuring a character making a silly face. The meme was about putting something funny in the bag, not the character’s age or situation. I edited the image and used it in a blog post. Just because I posted a “reaction face” that came from a manga, this doesn’t mean that I read the manga, or enjoy the content. Reaction faces are reaction faces. Memes are memes.

“Reaction faces are reaction face. Memes are meme.”

*inhales deeply* BOI.

Just because you “don’t read it” or “don’t enjoy the content”, doesn’t mean you should use the material as if it were some copypasta. The content is still gross and wrong. Using it to be “funny” just adds onto the problem.

“YandereDev liked a pornographic image of one of his underage characters!”

I give “likes” to almost all of the fan art I see on Tumblr, because I am happy and flattered to see people producing artwork based on my creations. This doesn’t mean that I’m aroused by everything that I give a “like” to, or expressing approval of the subject matter of every post that I give a “like” to.

To quote one of your nice anons:

“Does he actually read the shit he writes out?”

Liking a post on Tumblr means you approve of it, idiot! That’s the definition of approval.

“YandereDev made fun of suicidal people!”

In 2015, someone asked me if it would be possible to drive girls to suicide in Yandere Simulator. I answered, “Yes.” Then, they asked me if girls would commit suicide for silly reasons, or serious reasons. I explained that I did not want people to commit suicide for petty reasons in Yandere Simulator. As an example, I posted a screenshot of a news report about a teenage boy in Russia who committed suicide because his favorite anime character had died. This was not me “making fun of suicidal people”, but providing an example of something that should not cause enough emotional distress to cause a suicide.

Hey, how about fuck off???

You don’t know what that kid’s been going through. You have no right to determine how much emotional distress makes the suicide valid. Unless you know the kid on a personal level, you can’t say shit about him.

“YandereDev wrote rape stories!”

Game of Thrones has rape scenes. Is Game of Thrones a “rape show”? No, it is a TV show that has very dark subject matter, and characters who are put through traumatic and perilous situations. I have written stories with dark subject matter. Some of my stories involved sexual assault. The sexual assaults were never meant to be “sexy”. A more elaborate answer can be found here.

Okay, no one but kiwifarms has really talked about your shitty fanfics.

Also, rape isn’t the main focus of Game of Thrones. Just because something like a TV show has a scene that depicted something like rape, it doesn’t automatically make it a “rape show”. It just means it’s a show that has rape in it. Your fanfics are focusing on rape, putting it in the spotlight. Therefore, your fanfics are “rape stories” because you focus on it.

“YandereDev refuses to add dark-skinned characters to the game!”

That’s not true. I want the ethnicity ratio in Yandere-chan’s school to match Japan’s ethnicity ratio in the real world. In the real world, 98.5% of the population of Japan are ethnic Japanese. This means that if you went to Japan and encountered 200 people, only 3 would not be ethnic Japanese. If you go to a high school in Japan, you are simply not going to encounter dozens of dark-skinned students. With all of that said, I do plan to include a dark-skinned character in Yandere Simulator’s school in the future.

Shut the fuck up. No, literally, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

You know jack shit about Asian cultures, YandereDev. You literally don’t know what it means to be an “ethnic Japanese” or an “ethnic Asian”. You are a white man, so you have NO RIGHT to decide who’s “ethnically” Asian and who’s not.

All Asians (from the Middle East to East Asia) can have dark/brown skin, just like how they can have light/peachy skin. We are not white, we are POC. Because of your fucking ignorance YandereDev, you’re contributing to the problem Asians like me face.

I am a young Asian girl with brown skin, who comes from a Filipino family. When I was young, I didn’t considered myself as an Asian because people expect Asians to be pale and beautiful. I never proudly showed off my Asian roots until I got older and got a better understanding of my culture.

There’s this little thing called colorism, and it’s a big problem in Asian countries like Japan. In Asia, white skin = rich and dark skin = poor. That’s why most characters in anime are light skinned. Thanks to the romanticizing of pale skin and the promotion of whiteness, white skin is seen as more appealing than dark skin because Asians don’t want to be seen as “poor”. It’s sickening and saddening. Dark-skinned Asians are just as beautiful as light-skinned ones. We’re still Asians, we’re still from the same country.

Saying that you’ll never see dark-skinned students in a Japanese school is very inaccurate and ignorant. Like I said, YandereDev doesn’t know a thing about Asian cultures and should stay in his fucking lane. If he wanted to be realistic, then he would’ve had already added dark-skinned characters by now. But no, he’s a prick that doesn’t seem to understand that colorism is an issue and his game is just an inaccurate piece of shit.

“YandereDev used a transphobic slur!”

I have used the term “trap”. However, this term has nothing to do with transgender people. The term “trap” refers to a male who dresses as a female and attempts to trick people into thinking he is a female, as a prank. This word describes someone who is attempting to trick others, not someone who genuinely identifies as another gender.

I have used the term “tranny”. This is because I was directly quoting someone else’s statement word-for-word. This is not because I was using the word to demean anyone.

I have expressed a dislike for “dickgirls”. Dickgirls - or “futanari” - are a type of Japanese fetish porn. Dickgirls are female anime characters who acquire a dick through a magic potion or some other fantastical reason; the term is not used to describe males who identify as female.

YandereDev, you have no right to use any of the slurs you have said in the past. The only ones who can are the people that the slur insults because they are reclaiming the slur.

Trap is associated with transgender people because people have used it to describe transgender people before.

Just because you are quoting someone, doesn’t mean you can use the slur they used as if it was just some normal word. You need to recognize that it’s a slur and that you can’t use it in a casual way.

Say it with me: IF SOMEONE IDENTIFIES AS A FEMALE, THEN THEY ARE A FEMALE. DON’T CALL THEM MALE BECAUSE YOU’RE MISGENDERING THEM. IT’S TRANSPHOBIC.

That aside, I’m pretty sure futanari are mocking transfolk? I could be wrong, so correct me if I am!

“YandereDev steals 3D models and textures!”

I sometimes put temporary placeholder assets into the game, with the intention of replacing them with original assets as soon as possible. This is not an uncommon practice for early prototypes of video games. Yandere Simulator is no longer in an “early prototype” stage, but some temporary placeholder assets are still lingering in Yandere Simulator from its earlier days. I am still in the process of removing these assets from the game. “Theft” and “stealing” are very disingenuous ways of describing the situation. It should go without saying that I have no intention to ship the final game with models or images that I don’t have permission to use.

Even if you’re using them temporarily, you still need to ask the original creator for permission. It’s their content, so they are the ones that get to decide where their creations will go and who can use them. The sandbox of Yandere Simulator is open to the public, therefore people can still see them. YandereDev, you haven’t said that the placeholders aren’t yours, so people are going to assume that you or your volunteers made these assets. You are stealing from the creators because you aren’t stating that the assets aren’t yours and that you’re using them for a sandbox build that’s anyone can see/download.

“YandereDev used the word ‘autistic’ as an insult!”

A strange person had been harassing me for several months. Eventually, I learned that they were actually an autistic child. This helped me to understand the behavior that I had been observing from them. I proceeded to tell them that I had identified their autism, but also firmly stated that their autism wasn’t any excuse for the behavior that they had been demonstrating for the past several months. This was interpreted as some kind of attack on their autism. It wasn’t.

Oh my fucking god, I cannot believe people can be this ignorant.

Unless you’ve got some kind of extensive knowledge about autism, you have no right to assume if someone is autistic or not. You can’t assume someone has a certain disorder by observing their behavior. It’s like saying you think someone is depressed if they don’t constantly smile or look happy. It’s wrong and gross.

Also, I doubt this “strange person” was harassing you. You’re the one that constantly bitches about getting too many emails or blow up at people for saying some harmless/innocent.

His whole conclusion is a mess of bullshit, but one thing I’m going to mention is this:

So, why do they do this? It’s very easy to explain. The reason is simple; they do this because it’s fun.

It’s fun to hate. It’s fun to shame. It’s fun to ridicule. It’s fun to make other people look bad. It’s fun to talk trash about others. It’s fun to “expose” other people. It’s fun to ruin someone’s life. It’s fun to ruin someone’s career. All of these things are super fun…if you’re a sadistic scumbag who takes pleasure in harming others.

To keep having fun, all they have to do is keep brainwashing themselves to believe that I’m a horrible monster, and dismiss everything I say when I attempt to explain myself. As long as they follow those two simple little rules, they can have unlimited fun. And, as long as they can keep having fun, why would they ever stop?

We haters aren’t doing this because it is “fun”. We are doing this because we want to inform others of the nasty shit you have done/are doing. I could do so many other things that are more fun than dealing with your nonsense, but your “game” has attracted the attention of younger kids. These kids don’t understand what you’re is bad and they need someone to steer them in the right direction.

Every time you explain yourself YandereDev, you just add onto the list of reasons why you’re a bad person. The fact that you have the audacity to act so high and mighty and then bitch about the “triggered SJWs” that are “harassing” you shows what kind of person you are.

In conclusion, YandereDev is just giving me more reasons why I should not support him or his gross game.

I hope I didn’t say anything wrong, but if I have please tell me! Thanks for reading and I hope all of you have a lovely day/night!

Cheers!

~ Ari

#tw: pedophilia mention #tw: abuse mention #tw: rape mention #long post