#I've seen him looking like a chimpanzee or something before

[mooshorange]

Since people seemed to enjoy my last posts about Jekyll and Hyde, I thought I would share one of my little head canons for the book. This is that I think Hyde would be conventionally attractive based on physical appearance alone. We don't learn all that much about what he actually looks like because most people are entirely focused on the feeling of repulsion from how evil he is. The majority of the descriptions of him are about his personality rather than anything else. However, Enfield does say that there is nothing wrong with his appearance. If it wasn't for his awful vibes, there wouldn't be anything bad about looking at him.

I like to think of this considering certain beliefs of the time. It was common in the Victorian era to believe that someone's exterior matched their exterior. If they looked nice, they were a good person. If people thought they looked strange or unappealing, they were evil. Characters keep saying Hyde has 'a feeling of deformity' because they think he is so evil that it should physically manifest in some way. They think he should match their view of what an awful person looks like. Hyde doesn't though. I think this effect would be enhanced even more if he matched their beauty standards, and thus their idea of what a good person should look like. They are looking at someone they should like, but they don't. There is nothing they dislike about his physical appearance, so they shouldn't dislike him in such an intense way. That would add to their feeling of distress because he contradicts their ideas in that way. It would make him more unsettling.

It also links to the central idea of the book that there is more to people than meets the eye. Jekyll's appearance is frequently described positively. He is 'handsome' and 'well-made'. They would look at him and assume he was a good person. He matches that idea. However, there is evil within him and this appearance is deceiving. The point of the book is that good and evil are within everyone. Looks don't come into it. It's about something deeper than that. Hyde looking exactly the way people feel he shouldn't conveys this perfectly, I think.

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

Business can change you, and chew you up, and spit you out, and be rid of you, and on to the next thing.

-Alicia Keys

This is the thesis of the movie Nope(2022). A psychological alien thriller on the surface, that also doubles as a critique of exploitation. From animals to Hollywood, we as a society are always looking for the next thing to ogle. But maybe, sometimes, we shouldn't look.

There's a lot to this movie. I've seen quite a few critiques lately that have accused movie's director, Jordan Peele, of going mainstream with this movie and say that there's nothing to this movie but the size and spectacle of it. And while that is important, to say that's all it is would be glazing over a majority of the film.

This movie is about OJ and his sister Em, trying to save their dying horse ranch business after the sudden death of their father. A nearby amusement park, owned by a former child star named Ricky offers to buy them out when strange occurrences start to happen and all three of them realize that there's something strange in the sky.

This is a very basic summary and doesn't even include all of our characters but it helps with context regarding critiques for the movie. Exploitation is first brought up when the movie opens and we meet Gordy, a chimpanzee who used to star on a TV show before going on a rampage. "A wild animal attack no one could've predicted."

More critics like to say this subplot is irrelevant to the main plot but it's actually essential to the movie's thesis. Gordy was being exploited. He was a wild animal, traumatized by being raised by humans and forced to perform to crowds every day of his life. The day he seemingly "snaps" after a balloon pops had been coming for a while. If it wasn't a balloon popping it might've been a phone beeping or someone taking away his favorite toy but afters years of pent up confusion and anger, he was set off and attacked the other actors. But he wasn't the only one being exploited.

Both Ricky and Mary Jo were child actors. Now while not directly stated, it can be inferred that it was just as bad for them. Children should not be put in the spotlight and used for entertainment at such a young age. Mary Jo is attacked by Gordy in his rampage but when he sees Ricky and there's finally a barrier put between them (a table cloth in film), Gordy finally calms down. He's no longer being directly stared at for once in a long, long time. Sadly, he's shot right in front of Ricky and he internalizes this. Years later, Ricky sees this strange alien force as something of a second chance to help Gordy. But he's not actually helping, he's continuing the cycle of exploitation by putting it on display for the crowd to ogle and exploiting the horse he bought to use as bait for the creature. And the film punishes him and everyone else for staring.

The alien does not want to be someone else's entertainment. It gets angry when it realizes Em and OJ are trying to photograph it. There's a running joke of their pictures bring "Oprah Worthy" which while funny, is very intentional. Her show is known to exploit human stories and tragedies for views which is what the siblings are now trying to do. (As for everyone who tries this in movie, it doesn't go well)

The TMZ motorcyclist is also very intentional. Not just paparazzi but TMZ. The trashiest of trashy tabloids that have no qualms about hurting anyone with what they say, do or take pictures of. They have published photos of underage stars in compromising positions repeatedly and continually banked off it. Him crying out for his camera even as he's about to be eaten to get a picture of the creature is representative of the company and others like it that continue to perpetuate the system of exploitation that is fame and Hollywood.

But with fame and Hollywood comes Em. The moment she's introduced, her character trait of trying to advertise and sell herself in Hollywood, is an exploitation of herself. And OJ knows this, trying to keep her level headed but she keeps going for the stars. She keeps looking up. She stares into the abyss that is the alien's gaping maw. Only stopping when it means she can save her brother. Their relationship is the core of this film and the final shot Em gets of the creature dying, she doesn't even look at it. She looks at her brother.

This movie is just, really good man. I seriously reccomend you see it and help support the momentum of a great director.

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

I don't have any specific requests, but something Ladrien-y but with Claude instead? 👀👉🏾👈🏾

anon your wish is my command 😌

Claude wouldn't call himself a private person. He wasn't secretive, not introverted, nor a hermit, but there was just...something about retreating to a quiet rooftop to be alone with his camera and the view.

Well. As alone as you could get when there were hypnotised Parisians running around pretending to be animals. Claude had wriggled on his belly to the edge of the roof, peering down at the chaos, camera strap securely around his wrist, taking the odd snap of the action. There were some of his friends down in the street below, Max and Kim climbing on lampposts and shrieking like chimpanzees. Claude laughed quietly to himself, snapping a picture. It wasn't everyday that the Akuma caused a problem that was funnier than it was dangerous, and he knew for a fact Kim would have a good laugh at the photo.

The Akuma had come from the zoo nearby, or at least that's what Claude guessed from the way they were crying something about a tiger. It might nearly have been the soft toy tiger the kid cradled in his arms, looking a little worse for wear and shooting hypnotising lasers from its eyes. Claude had gotten a few good photos of the poor kid, all dressed up in tiger themed footie pyjamas, wailing his lungs out at a hapless Ladybug and Chat Noir.

The battle, if it could really be called that, seemed to be almost over. Ladybug had shifted to kneel on the ground, offering the kid an open hand and a gentle smile. The kid, slowly, hesitantly placed his hand and the soft tiger in Ladybug's waiting hand. Claude took a photo of the moment, a little awestruck. It was an amazing example of Ladybug's kindness and compassion for the people of Paris.

Together they released the corrupted butterfly from the toy tiger. After that it was only moments before the city was awash with pink light, the kid's parents rushing in with teary eyes to scoop him and the soft toy up and smother them with hugs and kisses.

Claude shuffled away from the edge of the building, and sat up to watch Ladybug and Chat Noir bid the parents and kid goodbye. Once they were alone, Chat Noir rubbed the back of his head, waved at Ladybug and disappeared, probably to transform. Ladybug waved at her partner and threw her yoyo out zipping past Claude with a whistle. Claude followed the path of the yoyo on instinct, it was anchored tight to the rooftop lamppost, just beside the little garden gazebo. Claude hadn't even manage to turn his head back to the street before Ladybug was on the roof. She cast a glance at him, beneath her fringe, and attached her yoyo back to her hip. Ladybug turned and jumped stiffly.

"A-ha!" Ladybug said with very exaggerated surprise. "Civilian Claude! What a uh...surprise! To see you, uh, here. On..." she paused, drifting. Claude took the opportunity to stand and approach Ladybug, a small smile growing on his face. "...on your roof. Where you live. Right." Ladybug flushed a dark shade of red, averting her eyes. Oddly enough, Ladybug reminded him of Marinette like this.

"You were-" Claude's voice cracked. It startled a giggle out of him and Ladybug both. It seemed to relax Ladybug, as she lifted her eyes to meet his. Claude cleared his throat and continued, "you were amazing today, Ladybug. The way you got that kid to calm down, that was...it was so kind of you. And I took some pictures! Not weird ones, obviously..." Claude trailed off quietly. His face grew hot. Ladybug had this...strange wobbly expression on her face. Claude was in this deep. He blundered on. "I was going to give them to the LadyBlog, but I won't if you don't want me to. I don't know if you've seen any of my other pictures on the LadyBlog but-"

"I've seen them," Ladybug interrupted. She still had that strange wobbly expression. "They're beautiful. And..." she twisted her hands together in a familiar gesture, offering Claude a shy smile. "I'd love to see more of your pictures. If you'd like to show me, that is."

Claude beamed at Ladybug. "I'd love to."

[thecoleopterawithana]

Hello, I'm the last anon you answered to. I'm sorry if I came out as defensive because it wasn't my intention. In fact I've always thought that John was bisexual until I started questioning everything. ( I'm a bisexual guy myself and I'm perfectly happy with the way I am ! ) It's just that I feel like Yoko would just say whatever she wants on John to suit her agenda. John's sexuality had always been an interesting topic and dropping something like that would gaib her publicity this is why I --

I question the authenticity of her claims. She could have lied about it just to attract attention… And I’d be disappointed because John was in fact my idol and he gave me the strength to come out as bi to my family. But there’s so many anecdotes about him being homophobic that it just makes me sad and this is why I hardly doubt that he was a bisexual man…As for the Cynthia quote I heard her say something like “ John was afraid of homosexuality just like everyone ) in a video on Youtube –

I am very conflicted because I’ve watched videos of John ( interviews etc ) and many comments said that he was very skilled at manipulating people and wasn’t as honest as he appeared to be, which is why I doubt. John had always been the rebellious type and I started thinking that he was using the bisexuality topic to shock and make people talk about it which is disappointing. Was he dropping hints that he was bi to piss off people and make publicity ? This is what I believe : (There is also -

Something he said to Alaister Taylor where he said that he was trying to spread the rumor that he was gay or bi just for fun and he told him that he would never shag a man because just the thought of it turned him off… Yet he also told him that he adored Brian so much that he would have done anything with him ( he contradict himself here. ) So yeah I didn’t want to be rude. I apologize. I think I need reassurance. Could you please analyse everything I said if u don’t mind please ? : (

-

Anon 2

At the very least all these years later isn’t it circumstantially suggested that John had very private gay encounters, and was uncomfortable making them public, yet wanted to hint at them so he could deal with this matter int he future? He was protecting his privacy and his ego, and perhaps wasn’t yet ready to reveal either his encounters or mixed feelings of bisexuality. His encounters have been protected by those with whom he was involved, people thameant a lot to him, no?

-

Anon 3

hey! by any chance, do you have knowledge of the quotes where john said “sex with girls felt like a performance after the first time” and “i was never sexually attracted to women before yoko”? i am SURE i’ve seen the first one somewhere on tumblr, though the second one is more of a quote of a quote so i’m not sure if it’s real or not dfkdjk thanks, anyway!

-

Anon 4

Hello! Is it true that John used to be very attracted to the drag scene in St Pauli ( I guess that was the town I read about ) and that basically the drag / gay scene made him feel comfortable and at home? Says a lot about him!

-

@tbhmarjj

I adore you, thank u for this blog and ur beautiful mind. i doubt johns bisexuality at times tbh considering he went to great lengths for publicity and he wanted to be an LGBT ally, be cool and outspoken and as he himself said it was trendy to be bi. but then again he was obsessed with Paul in so many ways and he was the embodiment of John’s ideal man. beautiful, talented, intellectual. I’ll be patiently awaiting ur posts exploring Paul’s views on johns sexuality.Thank u

-

Hello again, anon! 

I want to begin by thanking you for getting back to me after I answered your ask and for clarifying where you were coming from when you wrote it. It really is quite hard to fully get the tone of a written message, especially one that is so short that you have no context to draw from to get the emotional meaning behind it. It really appeared to me when I read it that the concern was not who was saying it (Yoko) but about what was being said (John was bisexual). I can now see that was not the case and I appreciate that you’ve made that clear. 

I also hope you don’t mind, but I’ve taken the opportunity to include in this answer all of the other asks I’ve been receiving regarding John’s sexuality. It’s clearly a topic of great interest in this community. So I’ll be attempting to address all the points raised here. Again, this is nothing definitive; only my personal readings of the situation as I find it at the moment.

Before I do answer, though, I’d just like everyone to take a deep breath and a step back. Let’s try to examine this topic a bit more objectively. 

I understand that sex is kind of major in our society. Our notion of identity is tightly bound to our classified sexuality and gender. Sexual relationships (or amorous relationships) are seen as the epitome of human connection and the ideal everyone should be striving for. And people fundamentally want to be loved and not alone, so it makes sense that figuring out who is a potential companion (and if that companion is interested back) is such a big deal.

But despite these layers of meaning and societal pressures, we should keep in mind what sex represents, essentially, from an evolutionary point of view. 

For social animals who derive pleasure from sexual stimulation, sexual intercourse is – like all the other kinds of affection – a way to build connections. 

If you want to find examples in nature, just look at our ape cousins, the bonobos. The also called pygmy chimpanzee lives in a matriarchal society where sexual behaviour plays an essential role in strengthening social bonds, lowering tension and keeping the peace. Bonobos don’t discriminate between gender or age (except between mothers copulating with their own adult sons, so as to prevent cross-breeding). It’s the true “free love” society; evolution took “make love, not war” and ran with it. 

Our own culture seems more similar to that of bonobos’ northern neighbours, the common chimp. Their patriarchy is more conservative regarding sexual intercourse, which is mainly used for reproduction purposes, and their power structure is based around intricate political games, where males form alliances and try to get public support in order to overthrow the ruling party.

I find it endlessly curious to look at these two species, whose physical separation by the Congo river made them diverge so starkly in their social organization, and compare them to the struggle between these same two natures that we find in our own society. 

All this to say that, from a simply biological point of view, I have to agree with John and Yoko when they say that everyone must be bisexual. If sexual intercourse as a social behaviour is, inherently, all about establishing bonds and connections, the extent to which those connections are “allowed” to be built depends entirely on the hierarchal structure that same society is trying to preserve. In other words, what is classified as morally right or wrong is more reflective of the rules in place to keep that society working as it is, than it is of what is naturally present as a drive. 

If your brain is primed to seek pleasure and sexual intercourse brings you pleasure independently of the partner’s gender, then the partner’s gender should be inconsequential.

But unlike bonobos, humans are kind of touchy about touching. So there are other levels of information influencing behaviour. The processes of socialization – of internalizing the norms and ideologies of society – and enculturation – by which people learn the dynamics of their surrounding culture and acquire values and norms appropriate or necessary in that culture and worldviews – are as determinant as the genetic factors influencing behaviour. In fact, this added education can be so effective in curbing your “primal instincts”, that one might forget they have them in the first place. 

Thus, the concepts of gender identity and sexual orientation are a constantly shifting construct based on the various interactions between your genetic makeup and social influences. 

I just think that, in order to have this discussion, it’s important to separate the various levels of it and be clear about which we are referring to.

There is the basic evolutionary drive to seek pleasure and form connections.

There is the social education about that same drive and how it is allowed to manifest itself.

And integrating all these different signals and information – various potentials which manifested as attraction – there finally is a behaviour, a choice.

And finally, there’s the external point of view of other members of society looking in and trying to discern other people’s drives and how they relate to their choices (that’s us now). The problem is, we often throw our own drives and choices into the mix, especially with regards to something as personally defining as sexual orientation. 

So we have to make very clear in our minds what is the end goal here. Why are we interested in discussing this topic? Are we looking to discern as much of the truth as we can get it, objectively trying to understand these human beings? Or are we trying to confirm our own projections on them? And please, don’t take me wrong. All these are valid reasons to be interested in a subject. Often how it resonates with us, so personally, is vitally important to reaching a greater understanding about ourselves and learning how to communicate that to others. 

But in the same way a piece of music can make you have a transformative emotional experience that the artist didn’t necessarily go through, it’s important to remember that our own inner-life might be affecting how we examine others. Better be mindful of what we project, lest we think are finally seeing inside another person when in fact we are only looking at our own reflection. (And honestly, I believe getting to truly know ourselves in this processes can be a hundred times more valuable than knowing the other. By learning to recognize ourselves we can better understand other people and vice-versa.) 

So if it is important to you that John is bisexual, my honest opinion is that all the information can be read in a way that confirms it. We’ll hardly ever know for sure, and based on what we do know, that can certainly be the takeaway. 

But if we want to objectively examine John’s sexuality, we shouldn’t bring in a confirmation bias. Meaning that we should be emotionally detached from the outcome, as long as it is as close to the truth as we can get. But this is only where I’m coming from, and I’m a bit of a scientist. It’s totally fair if you’re not in it for the same reasons. Though again, working under the assumption that you want to know my stance on it, let’s proceed.

I understand your reservations regarding Yoko as an unreliable narrator. To analyse Yoko’s motivations would be an interesting topic, but one which I will not go in at the moment as I don’t feel sufficiently informed about Yoko as a person to give an extensive examination.  

But in my opinion, there is a whole lot of other information available from which to draw from other than Yoko’s statements. 

I also get your and @tbhmarjj‘s concerns about John’s declarations during the 70s. But it’s the same question I posed in the previous post: Was the “bisexual chic” fad of the 1970s merely a publicity stunt for those involved? Even if it was, did it make the experimentations undertaken any less true? Were they just faking it for the press or were they finally allowed to try and be open about it? 

Because I come from the biological background that places sex as a positive social interaction like any other, meaning that its purpose is to create bonds and the pleasure is our “reward” for doing it, I tend to believe that the behaviours were genuine. The drive there is real. As real as the internal constraints that would act on them as a result of societies shifting expectations and permissions. And this socialization is as determinant in the creation of sexual attraction as anything. So based on our definition of sexual orientation, all those bi rockstars of the 70s could have effectively stopped identifying as bi once the new social norm overrun their own internal drives and the previous less conservative status quo. That didn’t make them less bi when they were. 

It’s funny, but in terms of gender and sexuality, nothing is real so everything is. 

So yeah, I think that John could have been bisexual the second he felt he was. But because the social tide was likely to shift, it was better to also maintain a measure of deniability: it was just for show, it’s not serious, I was just taking the mickey out of you and you fell for it! Of course John was smart enough to leave space there to retract. He and Paul had mastered the art as communicators through song. They could claim them to mean everything and nothing as it suited them. As Anon 2 says, it’s a protective measure. 

So I think that at some point in time, John genuinely identified as bisexual. Now whether he acted on it or not is another questioned entirely. As Anon 2 points out, there are various circumstantial accounts, but these are always tougher to verify. 

I tend to believe Yoko when she says:

So did Lennon ever have sex with men?

“No, I don’t think so,” says Ono. “The beginning of the year he was killed, he said to me, ‘I could have done it, but I can’t because I just never found somebody that was that attractive.’ Both John and I were into attractiveness—you know—beauty.”

I ask what she makes of the people outside the building, the crowds still at Strawberry Fields.

Ono misunderstands, or mishears (or is simply focused on the last strand of our conversation), and continues to talk about sex.

“I don’t make anything out of it. When you’re not really interested in that sort of sex, you don’t think about it. Both John and I surprisingly were very passive people. Unless somebody made a thing out of it, if they made a move, I wouldn’t even think about it.”

— in Yoko Ono: I Still Fear John’s Killer by Tim Teeman for the Daily Beast (13 October 2015).

At least I believe he at least never “fully” did it, in the sense of full-blown anal sex. I think there might have been “milder” homosexual interactions, such as handjobs, that could be rationalized as not entirely gay (the thing with Brian in Spain being one of them.)

Regarding the drag scene in Hamburg Anon 4 was asking about, I agree that it also provides information about John. Though I think it’s mainly about his gender identity rather than his sexual orientation (though the two are invariably linked in the construct as well).

Here are some quotes about it:

With his four months’ greater experience, Sheridan was an ideal guide to the Reeperbahn’s more exotic diversions, like the Schwülen laden. Stu Sutcliffe later wrote home in amazement that the transvestites were ‘all harmless and very young’ and it was actually possible to speak to one ‘without shuddering’. Though raised amid the same homophobia as his companions, John seemed totally unshocked by St Pauli’s abundant drag scene; indeed, he often seemed actively to seek it out. ‘There was one particular club he used to like,’ Tony Sheridan remembers, ‘full of these big guys with hairy hands, deep voices—and breasts. But they used to make an effort to talk English. There was something about the place that seemed to make John feel at home.’

— In John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman (2008).

And according to Horst Fascher (bouncer at the Indra Club and the Kaiserkeller):

It wasn’t just girls that were on offer to young english rockers. Monica’s Bar was Hamburg’s notorious transvestite club. For one or two English musicians, Monica’s was just another part of the Hamburg experience.

HORST FASCHER: One night Monica said, “Come, come and look. One of your boys is in the séparé.” “And who is it?” And she said, “One of the Beatles.” “Let me look”. She said, “Be careful. Look only sneaky-like.” But I did. I grabbed the curtain, pulled it aside and there was sitting John in… in a position with that girl, and you know. He felt really ashamed and I said, “John, don’t worry man. I did that all before.”

— In The Beatles Biggest Secrets. [Transcription is my own and I’m not too certain of it.]

Though there certainly might have been an aspect of sexual interest to it, I think John’s fascination with the drag scene was also the kinship with the queerness he felt inside himself; mainly in regards to him wanting to express his more sensitive side, which is coded as feminine in our society. So I think seeing men indulging in femininity and nonnormative behaviour resonated with him.

Also, I think it’s even more important to understand John’s relationship with sex in general, regardless of the partner. 

To that end, the quote mentioned by Anon 3 is of special relevance:

When I was a kid, I wanted to shag every attractive woman I saw. I used to dream that it would be great if you could just click your fingers and they would strip off and be ready for me. I would spend most of my teenager years fantasising about having this kind of power over women. The weird thing is, when the fantasies came true they were not nearly so much fun. One of my most frequent dreams was seducing two girls together, or even a mother and a daughter. That happened in Hamburg a couple of times and the first time it was sensational. The second time it got to feel like I was giving a performance. You know how when you make love to a woman that the moment you come, you get a buzz of relief and just for a moment you don’t need anyone or anything. The more women I had, the more the buzz would turn into a horrible feeling of rejection and revulsion at what I’d been doing. As soon as I’d been with a woman, I wanted to get the hell out.

— John Lennon to Alistair Taylor (Brian Epstein’s assistant), 1965. In his autobiography With the Beatles: A Stunning Insight by The Man who was with the Band Every Step of the Way (2003).

And another important passage is in reference to Janov’s Primal Scream Therapy:

Well, his thing is to feel the pain that’s accumulated inside you ever since your childhood. […] The worst pain is that of not being wanted, of realising your parents do not need you in the way you need them. When I was a child I experienced moments of not wanting to see the ugliness, not wanting to see not being wanted. This lack of love went into my eyes and into my mind. […] Most people channel their pain into God or masturbation or some dream of making it. […] But for me at any rate it was all part of dissolving the Godtrip or father-figure trip. Facing up to reality instead of always looking for some kind of heaven.

— John Lennon, interviewed by Robin Blackburn and Tariq Ali for Red Mole (8-22 March 1971). [I really can’t stop pointing to this quote as one of the most important in order to understand John Lennon.]

As he reiterates in ‘I Found Out’ (1970): Some of you sitting there with yer cock in yer hand / Don’t get you nowhere don’t make you a man

To me, John’s pursuit of sex is, like most things in his life, essentially about filling this black-hole of emotional pain. He internalized the lack of love from his parents, which went into his eyes and mind, until he himself believed he was unlovable. This lack of self-esteem translates into a lot of pain and the need for an external solution for that pain. 

The external solution is not wanting to feel so vulnerable any more. This can be achieved either by trying to seize control, by exerting it over others or having them look up to you (e.g. “fantasising about having this kind of power over women”; “some dream of making it”). Or it can be achieved by handing control over and being taken care of (e.g. “people channel their pain into God”, “I’ve seen religion from Jesus to Paul”.)

Sex as an activity can play into these various dynamics: it can be used to feel power over others, as John started out; it can be used as an escapist distraction, like a drug (e.g. “you get a buzz of relief and just for a moment you don’t need anyone or anything”); and it can be used as giving yourself over and being loved, looking to receive that which you can’t get from yourself. 

As time passed and the first two solutions stopped working, I think John focused on the third: sex in the context of an emotionally close relationship as the ultimate intimacy and proof that he was loved. And because he wanted to absolve himself of responsibility, to be taken care of, his partner needed to be someone on the other end, someone who had control. In our culture, this reads as a masculine figure (e.g. “father-figure trip”). 

This may be from a female, whose masculine qualities were what attracted John in the first place:

In this intense, intimate and revealing original cassette recording of a private conversation in 1969 between John Lennon and Yoko Ono, the couple speaks primarily about Yoko’s past relationships, her music and art, and their random views on sex, love, promiscuity, and homosexuality. […] [Lennon] adds that he had never met an attractive woman that had sexually aroused him to any great degree.

— Description of the 45-minute audiotape auctioned in 2009 by Alexander Autographs.

I used to say to him, ‘I think you’re a closet fag, you know.’ Because after we started to live together, John would say to me, ‘Do you know why I like you? Because you look like a bloke in drag. You’re like a mate.’

— Yoko Ono, interviewed for New York Magazine (25 May 1981).

Or the partner he was looking for could be found in the (often dominant) person he was most emotionally invested in his whole life. 

All I want is you / Everything has got to be just like you want it to

And in a society that establishes that the closest two people can be, the greatest intimacy they can share, the ultimate declaration of love is to live in a monogamous amorous relationship, is it any wonder that John felt he could only believe in their relationship if they were together like that? Is it any wonder that he would doubt Paul’s affections because Paul apparently wasn’t willing to express them like that? 

JOHN: It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

SHEVEY: But Yoko is a very independent person. Isn’t it— [inaudible]

JOHN: Sure, and so were the men I worked with. The only difference is she’s female.

SHEVEY: But you didn’t find it difficult to make that transition?

JOHN: Oh yeah. I mean, it took me four years. I’m still not – I’m still only coming through it, you know.

— Interview with Sandra Shevey (June 1972).

I know I keep posting this quote, but I don’t think he can make it more obvious than that: it’s not about the sex. Or rather, the sex is not the primary thing. 

He didn’t push all those years because he was uncontrollably horny for Paul. John just wants a physical manifestation, a more tangible “proof”, of his emotional connections. He wants to be able to hold hands, be held and perhaps also have sex with his best friend; he needs those proofs of love through the means of physical affection because he won’t believe Paul’s love for him is there otherwise (or that it’s as great as John’s).

Would society normalizing other kinds of relationships – such as friendships – to be as important or on the same level as amorous (romantic/sexual) ones, have helped John and Paul? Most likely. 

Would society normalizing same-sex amorous relationships have helped John and Paul? Perhaps. (For this one we would have to look more closely at Paul’s needs and desires.)

All this to say that John’s idea of sexuality was extremely influenced by society, and in his case, the rule “amorous relationships are the normative ones” outweighed the “heterosexual relationships are the normative ones”. 

The conflict occurred when from Paul’s perspective, the priority of the rules was the other way around. I think Paul was ready to ignore society’s norm and live his life with his friendship with John as the most important relationship. But he also wanted a heterosexual one. (But more on that on a post of its own.)

For now, I hope I have more or less managed to express my thoughts on the matter of John’s sexuality. 

Thank you so much for reading through all that and for reaching out in the first place! I truly appreciate it!

[the-firebird69]

Can we know what he's saying about stashes and Cassius and houses they're all over the place here in Port Charlotte and punta Gorda every house that you worked on or were near has something in it and you say something is in the apartment there isn't but you keep trying to get in there cuz people said they checked and they didn't really check that much but they checked and checked at some points and so people are checking because you keep saying there's nothing there and you're an a****** and an idiot for revealing it over and over and over and over and over and over like some sort of idiotic chimpanzee. Let's see sound like and look like no one disgusted by your attitude and your behavior and we're going to get you out of there you have a big date with destiny it's now 7:00 a.m. in London and it is and it's too late for the show however we have records that indicate you already had the show and you lost your arm and you had it sewed back on and you tried to get over there to show me your arms back on it happened after the mail incident you moron. Was it worth it all out there but there's more recordings on other people's phones like Stan and he put his out there and he put it out there on the website where his friends look at it and his friends are Max and they're going to come get you because they've heard these threats before and I've seen you try and seen you do things to people when you send them and it's their nest egg too to have their son there you don't know what he's going to do now you do so you just say the stuff and you lose cuz you're a weakling I didn't see it in your psychotic so we're going to kill you I'm sitting in people and teams to go get you it says send them now please I can't stand him what comes after John remillard versus Van Helsing I was trying to see something you're right about something this guy has been done for a long time what a piece of garbage too nasty and insulting nobody would put up with it matter of fact all of the world they said I can't stand the sound of this voice what he's saying what he's acting like and he's a gay boy so it's seeking your trumpsters out to beat on you and BJ's getting killed because of it cuz he's heard these people say these things. Now the sheriff in the police are embarrassed because it says you're going to go after them and they did have incidents where police and sheriffs are getting hurt something pretty badly and it was you doing it so they're coming after yours and they're coming after you and it's not going to go away it's just getting bigger and bigger and bigger pretty soon all the cops on Earth are going to have it and this is how you get banished and how you got the job done of getting rid of your idiotic race and people have a similar race it's cuz you suck and yeah garth can't help himself he said it right in the movie this close your eyes and imagine a beautiful waterfall that you're going to go over and know that it's nice cool crisp water and a brilliant sun and the mist is rising, so my friend here and nephew won't defeat Mac that's what he's doing it for and he's right

Thor Freya

Oh s*** he's yelling at me what do I do call my friend make a stupid circle jerk to get us done anyways

Garth

Lol. What a loose you are Trump the guy has the right idea he knows he's leaking and weak and that you're worse you're a complete absolute detriment to your race and kind and I know it I heard why you went after us and what was the point was and if there's evidence everywhere and I want you arrested and put on trial for it will do too there's a lot of people discovering tons of evidence about what years are doing even bja sees it everywhere this huge wanted posters on you huge warrants and APB and man you just sit here annoying me dating and day out asking for it I sent out your videos and the tapes of you and people are coming here to the house to see if you're here cops drove by five times so they're down here and punta Gorda I mean the idiot is had to show me his arm was reattached after his own guy there cut it off well BG that's another winner here have my wife no I don't think so... I can't tell what it is it's just I don't say it every 5 minutes cuz you still won't shut up.

Ken CAA said that last line

[notanotherbookreview]

Did you ever want to go “Off Planet?” Excerpt shows what your experience might be like, with an Alien living on Earth, who’s a friend--showing you his technology. And it’s based on real tech evolving now. Excerpt: E.T. Marshall's CONFESSIONS OF AN ALIEN: A Mythology for the Third Milennium Book 1. Red Coaster Press. Some years ago, Harold Pebbles introduced me to one of his Philadelphia classmates. Rita Goldblatt and I found that we had a mutual interest in dream interpretation. Rita introduced me to the Nova Dreamer. It looks like a sleeping mask that covers your eyes. Batteries operate small sensors that detect rapid eye movements, REM, that indicate a dream state. The machine can be programmed to have its sound and lights activate when a REM state is detected. The sleeper is gently awakened, to be lucidly aware of his dream state. This machine helped me remember my dreams, which, after I had fully awakened, I wrote down on a legal tablet kept on my nightstand. The machine later facilitated my ability to create my own dreams and to be an active participant. Rita took a great interest in my dreams and their meaning over the years. I related this to Vlad, who listened keenly. “Then you know,” he said, “when you are in a dream state, it is often difficult to know that you are dreaming and not actually experiencing the real world. That is what I want you to do, before you go to sleep, simply say aloud that you would like me to come visit you in your lucid dream and show you the alien world I live in. At any time, you can ask me to awaken you, bring you back, and that you want to vividly remember your entire dream after you awaken. What do you have to lose, Donald— a good night’s sleep?” I decided to give up my efforts to get Vlad off his alien theme and go with the flow. “It seems harmless enough. Are you going to hypnotize me or give me some suggestions on what to dream about?” “No, none of that.”   “Well, Dr. Comsky, I am comfortable right here in this lounge chair. What if I just leaned back, put my feet up and dozed off right here?” “That would be fine, just say the things I've asked you to and off you go,” Vlad said reassuringly. I thought this might be something good, or at least new. There was not a thought in my head that Vladimir would do anything to injure me, nothing to even upset me. I believed that he would have some sort of suggestive power to influence my dream state. I was definitely up for something new. I felt a little sporty, as if I were a trout being pulled in on a very light line. Whatever was on the other side of the line, I decided to allow myself to be reeled in. I leaned back in the chair, kicked off my shoes, loosened my belt buckle two notches and unbuttoned my top shirt button.” I murmured, “I want Vlad to visit me in my lucid dreaming state. I want him to bring me back at my request. I want to remember this lucid dream vividly when I awaken.” I added as a joke, “I want him to show me his planet.” With that I closed my eyes, let out a sigh and repeated my last words silently, and could not help thinking of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz saying, “I want to go home” and clicking the heels of her red magical shoes. CLICK When I opened my eyes Vlad was still seated in the chair next to me. “What happened?” I murmured. “I don't remember a thing.” “Oh ye of little faith.” He smiled as he said this; I looked around the room. The walls were disappearing. It was dark out and the sky was full of stars. I felt a chill and started to shake a little. Then, as if someone had once more pushed a button on a remote control and changed channels, the stars in the sky were different, and there was no ground below us. We were still in our chairs and the chairs were still on the floor, but that's all there was. I was wondering how we could breathe, but I remembered this is a dream and I am letting Vlad control it. Mercifully, the wine and cheese were still between us. I popped a large black olive in my mouth. So far, the dream was damned good. Looking at the black sky around me and the pinpoints of the stars that were both above and below, I felt like I was in a planetarium. I sat up from my reclining position and asked, “Why did you bring me here?” “I thought you might like to see another planet,” he said, pointing his thumb behind him, as a hitchhiker would. I turned to look, and the chairs and floor, or what was left of it, swiveled around so that we were gazing down on the top of an enormous blue-and-white sphere. The view reminded me of Earth as seen from the space station. Slowly the view changed so that I was looking straight at the planet and no longer down on it. Like my experience on the roller coaster, this made me feel as if any moment I would fall out of my seat and down to my death on the planet’s surface. I could see large landmasses and oceans, but knew that this planet was considerably larger than Earth and had entirely different-shaped continents. I finally said, “It’s awesome.” “Yes, I thought you'd like it. Its name is Paucri. Can you see it clearly? And do the stars look like pinpoints? And does my voice sound natural?” “Yes, of course, why?” I asked. “You know this is a simulation. It is not real. But does it seem real to you?” “Indeed it does.” Except for the disappearing walls, it seemed totally real. I sat there for a while trying to take it all in: Paucri, the stars, my alien friend and the non-reality of this reality. I thought of a chimpanzee looking at a television set. I thought of an alien looking at a chimpanzee. I thought of an alien looking at me. I don't know if it was the height, the new experience, or the chimpanzee, but I felt strange and uncomfortable. Vlad, sensing my discomfort, asked, “Would you like to go someplace else? Somewhere more familiar to you?” Gratefully I assented, then added, anxious not to give the impression that I didn’t trust him, “What do you have in mind, Vlad?” “Where would you like to be right now if you could pick anywhere on Earth, at any time, and while we are at it, you can pick the weather, too.” I thought for a few moments of the pleasant times of my life. The movie City of Angels, with its vivid sunset scenes, flashed into my mind. More than once at sunset time I would find myself at a beach— Malibu, Santa Monica, Huntington, Redondo— but it was Venice Beach that called to me now. A place of warm memories of ice cream cones, hot dogs, cotton candy, roller skating and watching the sun go down with the woman I loved. “How about Venice Beach today an hour before sunset and 80 degrees?” He nodded and somewhere, a button was pushed on a remote control. CLICK we were sitting on beach chairs facing the Pacific Ocean. There were many clouds in the sky but no sign of rain, and it had all the makings of a beautiful sunset. I watched the bright reds, reflected on the clouds above the glow, softly and slowly transform into a deep purple. A dozen squawking seagulls were flying overhead; sandpipers were darting in and out of the surf line. I took my shoes and socks off and rubbed my feet in the warm sand. I thought how easily my mind could be fooled. One minute in space and the next at Venice Beach. As I looked around, it sounded and felt so real. I could hear the waves breaking gently on the beach, the tender wind moving through the palm trees behind me. Vlad refilled my wine glass. “But Vlad, where are the people?” I asked. “Venice Beach at this time of day is full of people.” CLICK As if a thunderclap blasted behind my head, my body uncontrollably jumped back into the beach chair. In an instant, the sound of hundreds of people surrounded me, as if someone had turned on the speakers of a stereo system. All the people were moving as if they had always been there. I looked around from my beach chair at the sidewalk behind me and saw dozens walking, a few roller skaters gliding between them, and of course, cyclists. There were children playing in the sand on the beach, people eating pizza and hot dogs, and lovers sitting on blankets looking dreamily in each other's eyes, arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders. Then I noticed the smells of those hot dogs, and somewhere down the beach, someone was barbecuing pork ribs and hamburgers, and everywhere there was the smell of suntan lotion. I inhaled deeply, trying to see if this was real or not. I put my hand in the warm sand, rubbed the fine grains between my fingers, and sniffed it. The simulation was outstanding, and the thought shook me. What if we went back to Van Nuys, and it’s actually a simulation? I believed I wouldn’t know the difference now that I could feel the sand on my fingers. But Vlad did promise to take me back at my request, and I did believe him. After all, he was the man who cured Ann. I trusted him then, I had faith in him, so why should that change now? I questioned my own judgment and reality. I admitted to myself that I was afraid.