#I've reread this to try ensure it all makes sense and is what I was wanting to say but of course you cannot always accurately check your ow

[squiddleknitted]

Based on my experiences in fictive spaces on Tumblr and Discord, combined with what I've witnessed of fictionkin spaces on those same platforms, I don't particularly relate to or understand the strong negative attitudes towards fictionkins from fictives.

There is definitely value in establishing that being a fictive and being fictionkin are different things, with different experiences, but I have found that in general there are more similarities between the two identities than most fictives like to admit. The communities often seem to function very similarly, and the experiences have enough overlap that people frequently misidentify as one or the other. I know the tendency to emphasise the differences is a response to very dangerous and ableist misinformation, but there are ways to correct that misinformation without throwing fictionkins under the bus as less worthy of respect than fictives are.

To be rather blunt about it, I've noticed that a lot of the negativity towards fictionkins reads as plain unkindness, or even something rooted in ableism. There's this idea that fictionkin experiences aren't to be taken seriously or respected, in some cases because they're not tied to a specific diagnosis, and in other cases because they're potentially an indicator of an untreated and undiagnosed disorder.

I've spoken to systems who feel negatively about the fictionkin community based on the assumption that many of them are undiagnosed systems themselves, or perhaps people experiencing psychosis, and that participation in this community impedes the discovery and diagnostic process. I've not found this to be particularly true. The fictionkin community was (and still is) important to our host in figuring out who ne was, feeling comfortable with nis identity, and finding healthy ways to engage with that identity and the source. It was not the right time for nym to become aware of and come to terms with being a system, but the fictionkin community was able to meet nym where ne was at in terms of self discovery, and offer nym support ne otherwise would not have received. And, while fictionkin spaces are not exactly the best resource on system experiences and do not always handle the topics of fictives gracefully, mixed fictionkin/fictive spaces were useful in bridging the gap between the two identities, exposing our host to the concept of systems and plurality so that ne would have resources and supports when ne would make further discoveries about nymself. I believe that the fictionkin community had a positive impact on our healing and self-discovery, rather than impeding it.

I also don't believe that every experience of identifying as or with a fictional character is a symptom of a disorder, nor do I believe that it needs to be one to be respected. I've found that it is safer and kinder to assume someone is telling me the truth when they tell me about themselves, and provided they are not spreading misinformation, I let that be their own business.

I do think there are issues in fictionkin communities with ableism, misinformation, and abusive behaviour. Some amount of wariness is reasonable, but we cannot let negativity be our primary attitude towards these communities. It's dangerous to pretend that our own communities and spaces are not also vulnerable to many of the same issues, and we risk alienating a group of people (and potential allies) with similar experiences who may benefit from the same resources as us. Surely it would be more rewarding to try to remedy these issues than to dismiss all fictionkin spaces as a lost cause?

[bomberqueen17]

well, it goes on

It was my birthday and i celebrated by working. well, i'd had the previous day off, my only day off in the whole two-week stretch, so i spent it lying around and trying to catch up on sleep and also, sort of against my will, writing fanfiction about minor characters from the Patrick O'Brian Aubrey/Maturin series.

I need more people to talk about this fic with, alas, I've been siloed in Witcher stuff so long that I don't know where to turn. I've been hesitant to browse the tags because the thing is I don't care about writing or reading Aubrey/Maturin fic and also I haven't seen the movie since it came out in '03, I specifically want to geek out about the minor characters and the books, LOL. So anyway if anyone is interested in cheer-reading my attempts at slashing Tom Pullings and James Mowett please drop me a line. I was going to just write a couple of drabbles but well, as these things go, it's now 15k long. (Uh, fair warning, they're super underage for the beginning bit and like not in a fun plausibly-deniable way either.)

No, I have no idea if it's any good or makes any sense, but that's a separate consideration. I just. Listen! They should fuck. But I am me and couldn't just have this be a oneshot. No. They have to have a strange circling complex relationship over the course of ten or twenty years that includes Tom's canonical wife. I can't rest unless I make this happen. No, I'm not done with my Witcher stuff either, but I've been blocked on it a bit and decided my birthday present was to let myself write some of this. So that's what I did.

But. At any rate. I listened to the whole series and now I'm going back through it in a desultory sort of fashion for my own amusement. I might liveblog this reread. I don't have time to do anything more interesting or in line with my long-term goals at this moment. But, snippet.

“I think my virginity’s grown back,” James said glumly, leaning back with his book on his knees. It was a fine day so they were laboring at their mathematics, tucked out of the wind under a grating between two of the midships guns. It was an out of the way spot but they could use the harsh light from the grating to read their figures. “It’s ages since we’ve been into port,” Tom agreed. He was nearly cross-eyed with his sums, and though he’d had the best of intentions about doing extra to practice, he didn’t think he could manage it now. He gave it up and put down his pen, carefully ensuring the inkwell was shut tight. Then he frowned. “It don’t work like that for boys, there’s naught to grow back.” James blinked owlishly at him. “I thought it was universally metaphorical, at any rate,” he said.  “No, I think it’s a real thing, but for girls,” Tom said. The phrase universally metaphorical had so many syllables he hadn’t actually parsed it at all but was operating solely off James’s dubious expression.  “That doesn’t seem right but I don’t know enough about girls to tell otherwise,” James admitted.

[bonny-kookoo]

hi bonny!! i reread lacrymaria olor and was wondering if (esp after the most recent update w the bird) i could request for a drabble where she kind of just asks him why he’s so into her. i know that namjoon already explained why but esp after the bird i’d think to myself like wow- i’m so small and weak and fragile in a world that truly values strength and capability.

but if you don’t have inspo for this pls dont worry or mind this!! hope you have a great day and i lov lov lov ur stories 🥰🥰🤍

"Jungkook?" You wonder, as he walks back to where you sit, large and heavy looking sword in his hand before he points the tip to the ground, resting it there for a moment as he takes a deep breath. He's been taking you to see his training more often than not these days- maybe to show off, who knows.

After all, he did say he'd court you. Prove his capability.

"What is it?" He responds, drinking from the metal cup filled with water.

"Why do.. you want to court me?" You ask. "Like, considering how.. it works here on your planet, why would you be.. interested in me?" You wonder. "I'm weak, and fragile."

"You're definitely physically not impressive." He agrees, nodding as he sets the cup down. "But emotionally, and spiritually- you're more than capable of challenging the most powerful of my kind." He chuckles.

He can see you don't believe him.

"You've got a strong sense of survival." He explains. "Very sharp instincts for a human. A good sense of righteousness. And most of all-" He starts, before his hands leave the handle of his large sword, the heavy metal object almost falling to the ground, even as you reach out to prevent that.

His fingers are helping to hold it up, and even so you struggle to carry the weight. He chuckles.

"-Even if you're aware your actions might be futile-" he purrs, fingers leaving the handle to let you struggle for a moment, though you successfully keep the sword from hitting the ground, even though your arms are trembling. "-You still try, and defy expectations again and again." He smiles amused, finally taking the burden of his weapon away from you again. "That, my love, is strength as well. It is balance that I seek, and balance is what you can give me."

"Balance?" You mumble, rubbing your sore arms.

"I lack in the aspects that you exceed in." He explains, easily placing the sword into it's designated spot on the wall close by. "I tend to act too fast, and sometimes out of blind impulse. But my physical strength can only protect me and my kingdom from so much." He says.

"So you.. need me to be a better king?" You ask, and he chuckles.

"Its a.. fortunate side effect, I'd say." He smirks. "I mostly just want you for myself, as a mate and companion- everything else is simply an added bonus." He tells you.

"But I- you say that as if I've already done something for you other than blindly hiding under your care." You say almost disappointed.

"First of all, it is a very intelligent choice to do as you are, in your position. I will ensure your safety- without me, you're nothing but prey, and I know you know that too." He says, sitting down on the wooden bench where he pulls you to sit on his thigh. "But besides that, you have already begun to impact my behavior. I would have surely pulled the messengers spine out his throat yesterday just for saying the things he did, if it had not been for you being there."

"I... but you said, you have to.. you know, make a point. Like, intimidate the other kings so they don't attack you?" You say.

"That I do." He nods. "And, I don't know if you've forgotten, but I still kicked in his legs to make a statement." He chuckles, amused at the memory. "But letting him live to tell the tale himself had been a better option than blind murder. I'm starting to calculate my actions a lot more since you're at my side." He explains.

"Are you.. not worried I might just say I love you just so I can.. you know, keep being protected?" You ask, and he leans in at that.. licking at your neck?!

"I do not doubt your growing infatuation with me.." he purrs against your throat, hands holding you steady. "I can see the honesty in the way you look at me from time to time, and feel the tenderness in your touch whenever we're close." He offers, nose running under the edge of your jaw. ".. and I can smell your lust every now and then, too." He exposes, chuckling against your neck. "...just like right now."

Your legs squeeze shut at that, and he laughs openly, kissing your cheek before he stands up with you.

"Dont worry, my love." He chuckles, taking your hand in his as he leads you down the halls. "I will wait for you to come to me to satiate that growing hunger one day. And I'm a patient man." He tells you, making you shyly nod, walking next to him.

Because that's all you can do, as you realize he's right with everything. Not only the part about your growing lust-

But your growing love as well.

You're falling for him.

[librarycards]

Hi! I've really appreciated reading your views on the education system and higher education in general, and I don't exactly have a question about that but I guess I am asking for some tips on reading dense academic text. basically I desperately want to consume this book called Authoring Autism, by Melanie Yegeau published in 2018 but it feels so inaccessible to me as someone who hasn't attended college and learned how to read shit like that. it's about neuroqueerness and neurodivergence as an---

identity presented in a queer theory framework and seems like something that would really be up my alley as a queer/trans autistic person and I guess I'm just pissed that it feels hard. do you have any tips on learning how to read academic text and actually stay interested and enjoy it while readily absorbing the knowledge therein? maybe this is a big ask and not something you really have an answer to, but I'm still curious as to your thoughts on it! thx for reading!

hey! this is a really good question, and you’re right that i don’t have one right answer for you, but i can try to give some of the advice that worked for me.

first off, on academic texts and specifically on the yergeau, which i’ve read & adore –– they’re often hard, and authoring autism is dense; this stuff is harder when you aren’t practiced in engaging these type of texts. this is actually my first recommendation –– practice! the *only* reason i feel accustomed to spending time with dense scholarly work is because i’ve done it a ton of times before and i have a plan. there are definitely different degrees of difficulty in various texts, too; you, for example, might want to start with liat ben-moshe or margaret price in terms of Mad/critical ND studies, as i think both are easier accesspoints than yergeau’s highly specific (and also largely unfamiliar to me) rhetoric studies language.

but, yeah. practice! it’s helpful on several levels to start with the seminal texts, not least because there’s also a ton of work by other people elucidating them, and often study guides and questions to help you figure out what’s going on. for example, i’m in a reading group tackling the entirety of Capital this term, which is incredibly challenging for someone (me) unfamiliar with economic theory -- luckily, there are a ton of study guides out there, lectures, videos, and more experienced people in the group to explain terms to me, and i find myself better and better able to understand Marx through all these different interlocutors. even “in my field,” like, you’d best believe i’m reading derrida with at least 3 other tabs open at any given time to cross-check and make sure i’m Getting It. 

also, there’s the fact that yergeau themself is building on multiple traditions, but especially w/in queer theory –– these are way easier to get and get through quickly having built up knowledge of heavy hitters like butler, foucault, sedgwick, halberstam (who is cancelled but unfortunately still important in the field), and others. i know some professors of queer studies/gender studies have syllabi up online for intro courses, i’d check out some of those, as well as the bibliography of Authoring Autism, for an idea of who you can read with before turning back to yergeau.

reading shorter chapters, essays, and articles feels more doable in one go than a whole book, and you have a better sense early on of what an argument is going to be (check the abstract and the end of the intro for a “roadmap”). from here, it might be easier to work up to an entire work. with whole books, especially if the topic is unfamiliar, spend a lot of time with the intro, take notes on the structure and organization of the book, the methodology, the examples the author notes from the jump, the terminology they lead with -- taking notes in general is CRUCIAL imo, and having a little base of keywords and ideas to move through the rest of the chapters with is so helpful. also, the intro will have a little summary of every chapter as well as the main argument of the text, which is helpful if you feel lost anywhere in the middle. remember that most of these academic books are composites: they’re built out of dissertations and collections of papers and presentations first given separately. they’re bound for a reason, but can usually be read as standalones.

so we have practicing, chunking, and note-taking so far. i’d also go a step further with the note-taking: a helpful assignment i’ve had in the past is to write a precís, or a general summation of what a text is about, what is it doing, what arguments the author is making, etc, for a given book. these are no more than a paragraph or two. i believe in the saying that “if you can teach it, then you really know it,” and that principle also works for the precís -- if you can get a book down to its bare necessities, it means you really know what it’s doing. think after each chapter you read, could i write a precís on this? can i use 5-7 sentences to sum up what the author is doing? if it feels jumbled, go back to your notes, go back to your highlighted sections, and try again –– and remember that every time you re-read is NOT (NOT!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!) a sign of incompetence, but rather a dedication to the author’s work and a respect for their time and knowledge. 

i really want to stress that. struggle, reengagement, rereading, changing perspective....these are very, very good things. necessary. it is completely normal and healthy to have a hard time with scholarly work, even work about one’s own experience. contrary to what a lot of people assume, just because a book is in [ x ] studies doesn’t mean [ x ] is going to understand it; this often comes as a rude awakening when people enter queer studies classes believing it to be an easy A simply because they also happen to be queer. these fields are built on decades / centuries of intellectual tradition that no one inherently Knows, any more than being part of a lineage means you know every single person in your family. what really matters here is a curiosity and dedication to take up a text day after day with the same critical, compassionate eye with which you took up the project of neuroqueer self-determination that brought you here.

lastly, relatedly (and most challengingly for me): accept that you’re never going to understand 100% of anything, ever. as a professor of mine says, give up the patriarchal, colonial desire to “master” a text, to make it submit to you its full, transparent meaning. not only is it not going to happen, but it’s a violent relationship to have with knowledge, both to yourself and your “object.” learning is a lifelong process (hence the importance of re-reading) and Authoring Autism, etc. will stick around regardless of when you’re able to tackle it and in what capacity. i definitely relate to the anger and frustration at feeling “incompetent” in the face of a difficult text, but i try to reframe it as an opportunity to learn, like i’m on a new date and listening to someone tell me about their life for the first time. i won’t get it all on the first try but if it catches my interest, i’ll stick around.

idk if any of this was helpful, and please feel free to message with any other qs, i’m really really really really passionate about ensuring scholarly work is available to those outside the academy & that everyone has the opportunity to engage with it so please consider me a resource in all regards!!

[facelessxchurch]

I don't think the Faceless Ones literally "eat" souls in the sense of using a mouth to chew and swallow the soul like a cookie, I think they absorb the soul as nourishment exactly the same way Abyssinia does. A more transfer-of-energy process. Of course we never see a Faceless One devour a soul, so who knows? But yeah, it hadn't occurred to me about Abby's descendant getting kithed making 0 sense now that we know who Caisson's children are. Maybe Fregoli slipped one past the goalie~

You don't understand, when I say 'eat souls' it just means there will be nothing left of the person to pass into the afterlife. And I don't recall Abyssinia doing that. By what I've heard she only drains their life energy, so they die but there is still a soul left to pass into the afterlife.

I don't think Skulduggery knew his ex-partner was his grandkid. There is a very real possibility that by the time Landy had been writing 'Bedlam' he had not yet decided that those two would be related.

Also, if it was Fregoli's kid, wouldn't he have at least mentioned it considering how obsessed he was with getting his siblings back. Family seems to matter to him even though he hates his parents.

And if it was a one-night-stand, how on earth would Skul know about this and not Fregoli? How did Skul even know in the first place? The only way I could explain it if China kept tabs on her grandchildren since she knew where Caisson and Solace where when she essentially betrayed them, she very likely knew about her grandkids and kept more an eye on them to ensure they would be no danger to her than to protect them. And she lost track of Fregoli after he had changed his name/identity a few times. China told Skul when he asked. Can't explain that any other way tbh.

But like I've said earlier, since the 20 were raised to obey and were locked away or something like that (yeah, I didn't read that plotline fully bc it's stupid) for a long time I don't see how any of them could have produced offspring.

Also bc of the ask I was rereading the part where the grandkids are mentioned.

[SP 'Bedlam' Chapter 107]

This whole thing about Skul saying that Abyssinia has no special blood is proven wrong in the Grimoire where her family is stated to be one of the six FO bloodlines. And Landy usually writes Skul to be right, so yeah, I think Landy was flip-flopping on that.

And then there is the thing that the Unnamed can only be killed by the Obsidian Blade even though the FO themselves can be killed by all Godkillers, which would make him more powerful than the FO. I have three theories on that:

Only Abyssinia's mother is the descendant of the FOs while the Unnamed unknowingly descended from another race of Gods. This other race had been more powerful than the FO and thus were immune to the ordinary Godkiller Weapons. That's why they were harder to kill than the FO. Abyssinia's blood got watered down by her mother so she's weaker than her father. Also explains why her grandchildren couldn't become Children of the Faceless Ones, bc the genes of another race of gods is more potent in their veins.

The Unnamed can be killed by other Godkiller Weapons but the prophecy just said that the Obsidian Blade would be the one to finish him off. And since failing to kill the Unnamed would mean a slow and painful death for Mev he wasn't taking his chances trying another Godkiller so didn't even bother trying to find them.

The Unnamed's blood made him stronger than ordinary mages but he only grew into demi-god powers once he somehow managed to remove his true name (and perhaps the other two too). Like Valkyrie, he is using source magic, but a corrupted form of it.

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: Sofi and the Bone Song by Adrienne Tooley

Order:

Add to Goodreads:

Publication Date: April 19, 2022

Synopsis:

In this gorgeous, queer standalone fantasy, a young musician sets out to expose her rival for illegal use of magic only to discover the deception goes deeper than she could have imagined—perfect for fans of An Enchantment of Ravens! Music runs in Sofi’s blood. Her father is a Musik, one of only five musicians in the country licensed to compose and perform original songs. In the kingdom of Aell, where winter is endless and magic is accessible to all, there are strict anti-magic laws ensuring music remains the last untouched art. Sofi has spent her entire life training to inherit her father’s title. But on the day of the auditions, she is presented with unexpected competition in the form of Lara, a girl who has never before played the lute. Yet somehow, to Sofi’s horror, Lara puts on a performance that thoroughly enchants the judges. Almost like magic. The same day Lara wins the title of Musik, Sofi’s father dies, and a grieving Sofi sets out to prove Lara is using illegal magic in her performances. But the more time she spends with Lara, the more Sofi begins to doubt everything she knows about her family, her music, and the girl she thought was her enemy. As Sofi works to reclaim her rightful place as a Musik, she is forced to face the dark secrets of her past and the magic she was trained to avoid—all while trying not to fall for the girl who stole her future.

My Rating: ★★★★★

**My Review and Favorite Quotes beneath the cut:

My Review:

This book was EVERYTHING. Gorgeous slow-burn enemies-to-friends-to-lovers f/f romance? check. Magic? check. Music? check. Beautiful, lyrical writing? check. This book reminded me of An Enchantment of Ravens (which is probably why it's listed as a comp title on goodreads). They both have magic swirling through the story but also a deep and abiding love of art (painting in Enchantment of Ravens and music in this case) that underpins and transforms everything. Also similar is the journey and slow blossoming of love, and the writing of each is utterly gorgeous. The story has music and magic and mystery in spades and combined with the gorgeous writing, it's catapulted instantly onto my favorites list. It's SO atmospheric and you can really feel the music and the magic as the journey and mystery unspools before Sofi and Lara. I FELT things. So many things. The way Sofi slowly came to realize that her father's methods of teaching her were actually abuse--and that she took that abuse further upon herself--was painful but also cathartic. Her discovery that she wasn't as alone as she thought was beautiful. I would definitely recommend this to fans of Margaret Rogerson and Maggie Steifvater. This is definitely one of my favorite books I've read this year and after reading the arc I will immediately be purchasing my own copy because I can't not own this and I will absolutely be rereading it. *Thanks to NetGalley and Margaret K. McElderry Books for providing an e-arc for review.

Favorite Quotes

What was art if it did not come from hard work and devotion? If it was not tended to and grown in the careful pockets of one’s heart?

---

It was eerie how casually people donned the level of polish the Papers offered. Where others fawned over the results of Paper-made glamours, that level of calculated, pristine perfection made Sofi uncomfortable. Humans were messy and complex. It pained her that magic disguised that potential for failure with a fleeting sense of flawlessness.

---

This girl looked like magic, but for the first time in her life, Sofi didn’t care.

---

“That’s…” Laura looked unbearably sad. “Sofi, that’s not what makes you a good songwriter. You don’t have to suffer in order to create.”

---

“Sofi, you don’t have to hurt yourself to be worthy of pursuing your dream. You don’t have to deny pieces of yourself in order to be good. Your songs are never better than when you let yourself go. You’re a different girl when you offer yourself the freedom to merely play. No grimaces, no frostbitten toes. Just your love for the music.”

---

She wanted this girl and all of her sounds. Every swish of her skirt, every clearing of her throat, every noise that proved she was right there beside Sofi. She never wanted a chance to forget, wanted to ride out the rhythm of Lara’s breathing, the clack of her nails against a tabletop. Sofi wanted every single note Lara’s existence created. She was a song Sofi couldn’t wait to learn.

---

“I can’t be a saint,” she moaned, raking a hand through her hair, which had begun to dry in a frizzy pouf. “I’m barely adept at being a person.”

---

And she had. After all, it was a sixth day. And sixth days—like every breath Sofi had ever taken, like every dream she’d ever dreamed, like every future she’d ever imagined—had always been for music.