#I've noticed that I feel like this often after I finish a project 🤔

[toucansafari]

Been a while but I need to vent a little

(tw suicide mention)

Ughhhh I can't stop thinking about wanting to die. It's illogical and I'm pretty sure I'll feel better soon enough but right now all I can think of is just not existing anymore.

I just can't see my life going anywhere good. Worthwhile. I wish i could come to terms with my mediocrity but idk how. Feels like I'm being a constant burden.

Yeah it's all illogical and people DO genuinely care for me. I know. I also think they can do better lol. There's a part of me that always feels like ultimately it's for everyone's good if i didnt exist. Even if they disagree.

I'm tired of being useless and just... There. Everyone's life with or without me won't change significantly. It's not like I earn a lot of money or work at a job that makes a difference. It's not like I'm irreplaceable.

Everything is so unfulfilling.

(now watch me wake up tomorrow and feel very embarrassed about writing all this)