#I've never properly written a fic before btw this is my first attempt

[gethoce]

A Knightmare in the Underworld: Friendship

[Prev] - [Next]

[First]

"Galacta, this is a situation similar to that wi' Void aeons ago. We just 'ave to do th' exact identical thing again 'n' everything will be fine." Morpho Knight leads the group of knights to a hall within the castle while motioning to Blood Knight. "We could need yer help too if ye'r well." Sighing the warrior clad in purple nods in agreement. "Fine."

Galacta Knight has a grim expression on his face remembering the battle against Void. He had wished for an outcome different from that which had occurred and isn't willing to let that happen again. Not that Morpho Knight needs to know that yet. The warrior remains silent and equips his shield and lance.

Meanwhile Meta Knight puts Axe Knight aside to give him one final command. "You watch from the outside. If anything goes wrong grab the mirror shard from my cape and summon Dark Meta Knight. He'll know what to do." Saluting him with a hint of concern in his eyes, Axe Knight watches his boss return to his fellow knights.

Morpho Knight gives Necrodeus a signal to confirm they're ready for combat while they equip their sword. In response Necrodeus recalls his second in command. "Skullseer, return to my side." The warriors hear thuds and the flapping of wings coming from above just before Skullseer comes floating down and out of the arena. Seconds later a star-shaped figure comes crashing down in front of them and rises back into the air in a fighting position.

They are shaped like two five pointed stars layered on top of one another. Growing from between these shapes are six odd wings reminiscent of those of Dream, Dark and Soul Matterborn combined. Within the centre of the creature is a single magenta eye opened wide searching for the next target of their destruction. A strange gloomy mist surrounds them as the five points in the back of the creature begin to shift between elements.

Blood Knight swings his weapon and it shifts into battle mode, a fork appearing at the end of the pole with the splash ability already equipped. "We will have to watch one another's backs. That thing can cover an entire battlefield. Keep your eyes open." He pulls his wings from within his cape, which are all tattered and scarred top to bottom, much to Galacta Knight's surprise. He expected them to be the same bright purple colour as his horns. They'd have to talk about this later.

After shifting through elements for a few seconds Dark Nebula settles for the blizzard element and begins to engulf itself in ice. "Stoatin, let me show ye how this wirks, then." Morpho Knight proclaims as they lift off into the air sparks of flame trailing behind them as they light their sizzle magic. In the meantime Dark Nebula spreads its icy wings across the battlefield, one pair covering the ceiling, another the walls and the last the ground. Shivering coldness engulfs the entire arena.

Galacta Knight casts his classical beam swords to bat one pair of wings away that was about to corner them with icy shards from above. Following suit Meta Knight uses his ESP ability to throw the creature's feather projectiles right back at it, while Blood Knight stabs one of the ground level wings and tosses part of it to the other to stun it.

At the same time Morpho Knight charges their Doomblade, triples its size and swings it down at one of Dark Nebula's body's elemental spikes, breaking it off. The sinister entity winces in pain, withdrawing its wings, covering its vulnerable body with them like armour while shifting through elements again to pick something to counter Morpho Knight's flames with.

Upon settling for the splash element the creature once again opens its wings in the same arena covering manner. Galacta Knight dashes into the air, raising his lance to charge his lightning attack. The demon floods the ground and makes it rain within the hall only for the water to get immediately drained again by Blood Knight who draws the water into his pitchfork using his water ability.

Swinging down his lance Galacta Knight summons zap magic spines all across the battlefield that cause immense damage to Dark Nebula in its wet state. It begins to withdraw its wings before it can shield itself, Galacta Knight summons a second and a third wave of lightning spines, breaking off another one of the fiend's spikes.

Once its body is hidden within its wings again it shifts through elements, same as before, settling for the zap element targeting Blood Knight. Seeing his chance the warrior charges ahead, jumps into the air using a water fountain move and as it opens its wings again, hits the sinister entity full force with his pitchfork charged with the foe's own water from its previous attack, breaking off a third spike before it could even begin to set up its next move.

Blood Knight winces in pain as he arrives back on the ground, causing Meta Knight's wing to twitch. Somehow he could feel that those moves hurt. Without questioning it too much for the time being he flies closer to the other warrior to aid him. Meanwhile Dark Nebula shifts between its two remaining elements and settles for sizzle, opening its flaming hot wings which cause the temperature of the entire arena to rise making it feel like an oven.

Galacta Knight and Morpho Knight land close to the other warriors covering their backs. The latter leans towards Blood Knight slightly concerned. "I wis hoping you'd tak' care o' th' fire barrier as well." Flicking his wing at the butterfly he replies with a somewhat shaky voice. "Why don't you just let me do the whole battle alone unprepared at that point. You know I don't have the endurance." Raising their sword to a defensive position Morpho Knight gives up on their plan bracing themself for a difficult final stage of the battle.

Then suddenly Meta Knight raises his sword. "Apply splash to Galaxia. I'll take it from there." Blood Knight looks up in surprise. "Friend Ability?" Then he engulfs Galaxia in water, turning her into a Splash Sword. Watching the whole thing Galacta Knight's eyes light up in delight. "He knows how to use Friend Abilities!"

With a couple flaps of his wings Meta Knight ascends further into the air, into the centre of the battlefield and charges his Splash Mach Tornado. Upon unleashing the attack all six of Dark Nebula's fiery wings extinguish. On swift wings Meta Knight dashes towards its body and with a mighty splash sword slash another spike is destroyed leaving only a single one behind. Dark Nebula has no other choice than to use its last remaining element, bluster.

Without withdrawing its wings again it sends wind flying through its wings tossing the warriors around the arena. Galacta Knight thrusts his lance into the ground and grabs Morpho Knight's foot as they pass by him allowing them to lock themself onto the ground with their sword as well. Attempting the same trick with his pitchfork Blood Knight just barely manages to stick to the ground with an unsteady pained grip.

Meanwhile Meta Knight soars along with the wind until he can find a suitable spot to land on. Feeling a strange sense of urgency he charges Galaxia holding her into the air for a sword beam. Noticing this Galacta Knight summons his beam swords and Morpho Knight charges their own sword beam to send along with Meta Knight's attack. The force of all three attacks combined breaks the final elemental spike off of Dark Nebula's body and it sinks to the chared ground stunned.

Morpho Knight jumps up and points towards the wounded entity while addressing the magenta warrior. "This is our chance, Galacta Knight! Summon a Hert Spear 'n' we kin seal this thing awa' once 'n' for all!" Turning to their ancient friend with an irate glow in his eyes Galacta Knight growls.

"No."

Then he soars into the air with swift flaps of his soft lavender feather wings and holds his hands up in the air, sparks of pink heart magic surrounding them as he summons a Friend Heart. "We will do this my way this time! No more sealing away anyone!" He shouts in anger. It only now dawns on Morpho Knight what kind of thing they just requested.

Of course Galacta Knight wouldn't wish the same fate upon even his worst enemy which he had to suffer through, though they still see no other way to get rid of this problem. What Galacta Knight is attempting has never worked on anything more than a toddler before. This can't possibly be a success.

"I'll need your help with this. Give me your friendship, lend me your strength. I can not do this without you!" Galacta Knight continues to shout, his voice shaking with emotion. Without saying a word Blood Knight summons his own Friend Heart and tosses it onto Galacta Knight's, increasing its strength. Still unconvinced Morpho Knight hisses at them. "We've bin over this! That kind o' magic does not work on an entity so far gone into negativity! Spare yourselves th' energy 'n' use it to summon a Hert Spear instead!"

Unexpectedly Meta Knight raises his hands and summons a third Friend Heart and tosses it into the original, surprising both horned warriors. "He can summon a Friend Heart! Meta Knight can summon a Friend Heart!" Blood Knight shouts while pointing at him. "I just teared up a little… What do you say now, Morpho? Meta Knight can summon Friend Hearts now." Galacta Knight proclaims with pride, leaving Meta Knight confused why this would be such a big deal.

Grumbling aloud Morpho Knight finally raises their hands as well and summons a fourth Friend Heart and adds it onto Galacta Knight's. Immediately afterwards the Aeon Hero tosses the heart onto Dark Nebula's vulnerable core causing a ginormous pink heart magic explosion that blinds both the four warriors and the audience watching.

With bated breaths the bystanders wait for the magic blast to die down. The silhouette of Galacta Knight becomes visible first and within a few more seconds a wee purple puffball is discovered resting exhausted within his arms. Morpho Knight drops their weapon in amazement. "Ye did it, Galacta!" With tears in his eyes Blood Knight follows sniffling. "You're the best warrior."

The audience begins to cheer as well, Garlude and Skullseer are clapping while Axe Knight shouts, waving his arms. "You're incredible Galacta!" Even Necrodeus is impressed with his strong will and adds onto the cheers while locking eyes with his own warrior who had so much doubt in their friend. "What an amazing warrior and person." Papi turns around and leaves without a word. Landing on the ground Galacta Knight ruffled his feathers, a warm sensation running down his back. He can't remember the last time he felt this happy. "Wow…"

Placing a paw on his mask the former Dark Nebula opens their bright magenta eyes looking straight into those of Galacta Knight repeating what he just said softly. "Wooow…" He begins to sob, while Meta Knight watches speechless. Did he just turn a negative Matterborn into a positive version of themself? The thing that happened to himself so many years ago? He is stunned by his own thoughts for a moment.

"As much as I'd like to celebrate this whole thing with you all, we gotta make our move out of the Underworld. You've stayed here for way too long already." Blood Knight says sniffling and patting Galacta Knight on the back. "Right… Let's go home… together." The feathered knight nods and begins to move towards the exit with the small puffball snuggled against him.

Necrodeus addresses both of the guest warriors one more time, pleased with their achievements. "You've done us an immense service, Greatest Warriors in the Galaxy… The Skull Gang will consider you and those you hold dear their allies. Call upon us if you're in need and we will come to your aid." Galacta Knight looks up into the oddly familiar eyes of the Skull Gang's leader, still shaking from feelings of euphoria. "It probably won't be necessary, but I'll keep it in mind."

Following close behind is Meta Knight, who collects his cape from Axe Knight and reattaches it to his pauldrons. "I'd ask you to forget whichever feud you once had with Kirby. He is a close friend of mine." Watching the guests leave Necrodeus accepts Meta Knight's request. "It shall be done."

Before stepping onto the stairway Meta Knight turns to Morpho Knight one last time. "I will speak to Magolor soon about the crown for you." Then he begins to move downwards followed by Blood Knight, Axe Knight, Garlude and Galacta Knight, who still carries the new puffball around.

Morpho Knight waves them goodbye watching them go, wishing they could celebrate with them. They almost don't even notice Necrodeus passing by them. "You have done well. Take a break." For a minute they remain frozen in place before breaking down happy that this conflict is finally over, sobbing on the ground. Necrodeus rolls his eyes and scoops them from the ground, carrying them away nested in his palm, while brushing the dust off their wings softly.

[teruthecreator]

(tw for racism, pedophilia, transphobia, child impregnation mention)

yeah idk why y'all read this

i was originally going to just post this and have some tags with my reasonings, but i realized that opens me up to too much bullshit from people who may think i'm being unnecessarily mean or whatever. so i'm going to explain exactly why the screenshots above are something i hold issue with.

firstly, and i just want to get this out of the way, this post is not intended to be a hit piece against the creator. i've seen how she reacts to any mild-mannered or slightly joking criticism, so i know this post is probably going to not land well. but it isn't my intention to make her mad or anything--she's writing a piece of content for the internet, which means she is just as open to criticism as any other poster. and what i intend to go into in this post is criticism. i'm allowed to do this, as that is the nature of the internet. people are allowed to critique whatever they please, and if you don't want critique then you shouldn't post. simple as!

i am also making no attempts to posit myself as better than the creator. i'm not doing this for clout or moral superiority or any of that dumb shit. i simply want to discuss something that's been bothering me for a bit, while simultaneously warning people who haven't read this yet (who may be sensitive to the issues above) to steer clear. if things like casual racism or transphobia aren't properly tagged, then readers who are affected by such things run a risk reading this! same goes with people who are triggered by lewd content involving minors. i wanna make sure people are getting a more critical scope of this work than what has been hoisted up by others.

okay, now that i've gotten that out of the way, i'm going to get into my points.

firstly, the subtle and not-so-subtle racism throughout this fic, especially in relation to serizawa. i'm white, so there is only so much i can speak on without trampling over the words of other fans of color, but some of this feels so blatant it's odd it hasn't been noted earlier. it's important to note before i go into it that serizawa is specifically written as half-black half-japanese for this fic, in case the screenshots don't make it abundantly clear. but there are just too many moments of casual racism in this fic. i'm not talking about the plot point of serizawa being bullied as a kid for being mixed; i'm not mixed, so i can't speak on the accuracy there but it is well-known that black people face a lot of racism in japan. i'm talking about how it seems everyone else has these racist moments that aren't acknowledged by serizawa or the narration as being bad.

reigen hypothesizing over serizawa's exact ethnic background is just strange. yes he's a fairly observant guy (he has to be, with his job), but there is no canonical evidence to suggest he would immediately jump to theorizing whether serizawa is american or not. and the way it's posed in that first quote--"he has darker skin and the kind of hair texture that would likely indicate African ancestry"--is not great. that's an extremely inappropriate way to bring up someone's race. i don't think most people would stare at someone and be like "hmmm well your nose shape and hair texture would suggest you're of this race". it's racial essentialization that is only slightly covered up by the excuse of "oh he tweets in english". there are some other smaller moments of questionable wording, like calling serizawa's afro "sloppy" when it isnt (which btw there's another issue with the creator only referring to an afro as a "fro". it's a hairstyle; you're allowed to use the actual name of it). even if reigen cuts his hair in canon, he never states it's because serizawa's afro looks sloppy. (also there's something to be said about the casual racism baked into making your employee cut his natural hairstyle for a job, as that is a very real issue many black people face when wearing their natural hair or even protective styles in the workplace.)

i'm especially bothered by toichiro's very casual racist remarks. toichiro in this fic is a general bother of mine (most of which can be boiled down to "he would not fucking say that"), but the way she chooses to characterize him in relation to serizawa feels gross. calling a black man a slave should be a very obvious red flag, but also saying serizawa (again, as a black man) has a "brutal masculine appeal" is also extremely stereotypical and racist. and really there is just no need for it; toichiro's actions in canon prove how shitty of a guy he is without the need for him to be racist (along with other things i'll get to in a bit). as my girlfriend put it: he doesn't need to be a member of the fucking kkk to show he's a bad guy.

there's also, again, the very casual racist remark of calling serizawa a "dog". i don't care if that isn't the intent; when you are writing a character of color you need to be aware of your wording, even in insults (unless she intended to make tsuchiya racist, which i don't think she did).

secondly, the eugenics/child pregnancy bit. it is surreal to even have to write this, but i seriously do not understand the purpose of either of these bits in the story. they are so minor yet so jarring you can't help but wonder why they're there. once again, i do not think you need to have toichiro doing esper eugenics just to prove he is an evil guy. he has nuance, and by making him casually reference child pregnancy (like that isn't an INSANE thing to say) reduces that nuance to nothing. that's the only reason i could see why that bit was included: to make toichiro look worse. but, even still, the author is running the risk of potentially triggering victims of csa or people who don't want to see that by not properly tagging the mention of it (or, at the very least, warning readers in the intro notes). the only other explanation for it would maybe be shock factor??? but that's a pretty shitty thing to use for shock factor, if i'm honest. also the fact that the esper eugenics was referenced again in a more recent chapter just has me very disturbed and confused. there isn't a canonical explanation for why we see less espers who are women than espers who are men, but that doesn't mean we need to jump to fucking Eugenics. it's weird!

thirdly (and this is probably one of my biggest problems and the main reason i wanted to make this post), the weirdly lewd/sexual language shou uses constantly, along with referring to reigen as a pedo or a creep at several points. frankly, i think it's pretty fucking gross for someone in their near-40's to be writing a 12-year-old talking so casually about sex like that's normal. which, i'm sorry, but it's not. yes, teens know about sex and like to joke about lewd shit. but a 12-year-old is not about to make references to a grown man's virginity. 12-year-olds draw dicks on their desk bc they think it's funny. 12-year-olds say the word "buttfuck" because it has the words "butt" and "fuck" in it, and those are the two funniest words on earth to a kid that age. i literally do not understand the purpose of having shou be so lewd all the time. for one, it doesn't make sense for his character. shou is shown time and time again to be extremely mature for his age, but that maturity extends to shit like assembling a counter-terrorism unit and extending a hand to his father to allow him to try again. and even then he's still just as naive as any other kid his age! the omake where he's telling his guys to go to the "far right corner" based on ritsu’s advice proves that he still has plenty of blindspots that are indicative of his age. leaning into this raunchy, lewd version of shou is just weird. and, again, i think it is made a bit weirder given the author's age!!! not ageshaming or whatever--i'm 23 and i write fanfic, clearly i cannot judge there--but it is just extremely inappropriate in my opinion. also having shou be more versed in sextalk than serizawa is odd too and speaks to a larger issue of serizawa's infantilzation throughout this fic, but that's something i can get into in another post if people want an explanation.

also, the way she constantly calls reigen a creep and even has him being accused of being a pedophile during the twitter cancellation is extremely inappropriate when, again, there is NO CANONICAL BASIS FOR THIS! everyone just calls him a fraud and a scammer during separation arc; there is never a reference to reigen being seen as a pedophile in that arc. and, yes, while there are versions of mob psycho where reigen is very clearly written as a creep (looking very specifically at the netflix adaptation), that doesn't mean it's good. honestly, the creep mentions all just feel like really poor jokes that do not land in the slightest.

finally, the transphobia (aka WHY IS SHIMAZAKI A CHASER). i literally do not know what else to say other than: why? why is this a thing? why is he a chaser? what is the purpose of this? is it a joke? i feel like it's supposed to be, but seeing as the author is cis i don't think that's a joke she should really be making. it not only comes out of left field, but it's just kind of a weird thing to ascribe to a character for no reason. not to mention, it's uncomfortable! trans women deal with enough creepy antics from cis men in real life--why must they be accosted by this guy too? it's just weird and uncomfortable.

i wanna round out this post by saying, once again, that i'm not trying to attack anyone with this post. but i do hope people come away from this with a new perspective on this work, and maybe think twice before recommending it uncritically to someone. to the author specifically, i hope you can read my post without rage or indignance blinding you. i might be a little blunt or rude in parts, but it's only because i'm passionate and i don't mince my words when it comes to things i'm passionate about. to the readers, understand i am not judging you for reading this fic without noticing these things. your own life experiences will give you certain blindspots and there's nothing wrong with that. i have plenty of blindspots of my own! it's what makes us human.

there is more i could say, but this post is long enough. i ask that if you come to me in my inbox or in dms about this that you treat me with respect, as i will do that for you. writing something like this took a lot out of me, as i'm usually not so open about my opinion on shit like this.

have a good day :-)

[alliterative-albatross]

So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

~

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again. 

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise! 

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory. 

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs, 

~ Jay

[mostthingskenobi]

Hellooo! So, I have a question for you I've been wondering about for ages now... What do you imagine Obi-Wan and Satines first kiss in the clone wars series would've been like if they'd done it? Would Satine kiss Obi-Wan or would he kiss her? And what would the situation be for them to finally do it? If you're not sure then maybe some ideas? Btw I love your blog and hope you'll stay much longer. I'm sorry about what's happened to you. I hope you're getting better because you're just amazing

Hello there, my friend! This ask gave me a jolt of pure joy!! What a fun and pleasant thing to think about… and I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that I’ve given this quite a bit of thought. So here’s what I imagine (I’ll try not to be too wordy and take up too much of your time… who am I kidding…. this is going to be the longest thing I’ve ever written):

OBI-WAN AND SATINE’S CLONE WARS KISS THAT NEVER HAPPENED BUT SHOULD HAVE… **QUIETLY SOBS IN THE CORNER**

OK, to start, I understand why Obi-Wan and Satine never kiss in the Clone Wars. George Lucas believed that Kenobi was the embodiment of the perfect Jedi, even to Obi-Wan’s own detriment. It’s why Lucas never allowed Obi-Wan to kiss Satine, or respond to her dying “I love you.” It’s why Obi-Wan didn’t fight Maul during The Lawless, and George Lucas certainly shot down Dave Filoni’s idea that Korkie was Obi-Wan and Satine’s child. Obi-Wan Kenobi was a pure Jedi Knight.

My problem with that: it’s boring.

It’s not boring that Obi-Wan is pure, it’s boring that he never slips. As a writer, I believe it’s more interesting when a character’s standards are challenged and they are forced to break their status quo. It’s more gratifying for the audience to see a character change and grow, to struggle, give in to temptation, relent, and ultimately succeed (Luke Skywalker anyone???). This is ESPECIALLY important when you brutalize a character. Star Wars is very hard on Obi-Wan Kenobi and he receives very little validation. For the audience’s sake, Obi-Wan Kenobi deserves just one moment where he follows his heart FOR HIMSELF.

(This is all rhetorical, of course. If it isn’t obvious by the fact that I run an Obi-Wan Kenobi blog, Instagram, and AO3 account, let me say that I love Obi-Wan just as he is. Though as a storyteller, I may have changed a few plot points on his timeline.)

That being said, there are 2 places I can picture a kiss between Obi-Wan and Satine.

THE SLOW BURN

The first scenario is a slow burn that builds through the Mandalorian Arc in season 2. I imagine Obi-Wan would be doing his best to ignore his feelings for Satine and keep things “strictly professional.” But after the multiple assassination attempts made by Death Watch, and the Duchess wrongly being accused of murder, I would say Kenobi’s guard on his feelings would gradually begin to drop. Satine is one of the few characters Obi-Wan reaches out and physically touches in The Clone Wars, and he touches her a lot. To me, that indicates a certain level of familiarity that is not present between Kenobi and other characters.

I don’t think Satine would make the first move. I think she would encourage it subtly, but she would not kiss Obi-Wan first and here’s why:

1. She cannot be the one to break the Jedi Code. If Satine forces Obi-Wan to betray his oath before he’s ready, then she is the villain, the temptress, the distraction. She has no wish to change him or undermine his achievements. I wrote this in my first piece of fan fiction, A Jedi’s Resolve, and I still think it’s true of Satine:

“How could I ask you to give up the Order that you loved so much?… Don’t you see that you are a paradox? I loved you as you were, and forcing you to leave the Jedi would have made you a different man.”

2. Satine already told Obi-Wan her feelings in Voyage of Temptation. She laid her heart bare. If something is going to happen between them, it needs to be because Obi-Wan wants her enough to break his Code. He needs to want her in a “we’re soul mates and the Force will not let us be apart” sort of way, not be tempted to break his Jedi vow for lust.

I know this sounds all boring and moralistic, but as discussed earlier, Obi-Wan is a pure knight, and, in my opinion, this is how he would stay in character and kiss Satine. The act has to tie back to honor.

How would it happen? Well, Obi-Wan would have to be pushed to his limit by, let’s say, the pain of losing Satine again… or by not getting to tell her how he feels before she returns to Mandalore… or by overwhelming memories of their young love… Once he’s at his limit, they need to conveniently end up alone together where they can finally say what needs to be said without the risk of being overheard. I’m building up to this in my fic The Jedi and His Duchess. Or if you want something short and sweet, A Jedi’s Resolve is a one-off I needed to write to give myself closure. These fics detail exactly how I think this situation would unfold.

As much as I love this scenario, Star Wars would never go for it in canon. It’s too hypocritical to give Obi-Wan a love interest, especially when they portray Anakin’s love for Padme as a betrayal.

HOWEVER!!!! There is a line, I think it’s in the episode Corruption, where Satine reveals to Padme that Obi-Wan has told her all about Padme’s adventurous spirit. This implies that Obitine has remained in touch during the Clone Wars.

THE ULTIMATE TEMPTATION

The second scenario would take place during The Lawless. I have serious issues with this episode, for many reasons. I cannot watch it without sobbing… because I’m a huge emotional baby. BUT I also feel like the episode is extremely rushed. Maul spends an excruciating amount of time building up his underground crime syndicate and spends all of 10 minutes exacting revenge on Obi-Wan.

As an audience member, I’m far more fascinated by the interpersonal relationships: the conflict between Maul and Obi-Wan, the love between Satine and Obi-Wan, the betrayal between Maul and Sidious. This is more interesting than 2 full episodes of crime mongering. And I’m sorry, but Satine dies in Obi-Wan’s arms and like 5 seconds later cracks a joke with Bo-Katan. WTF, Kenobi?

What we should have gotten:

1. Much more time spent between Obi-Wan, Maul, and Satine, like at least 2 episodes.

2. Obi-Wan needed to tell Satine something while she lay dying. This woman died for him, lost her home, her planet, her family, her life’s work for this Jedi. She was used as a means to an end. The least Obi-Wan could have done was kiss her properly when he rescued her or said he loved her while he held her in his arms. She died not knowing how he felt about her. (I’m suddenly feeling inspired to write a ficlet of Obi-Wan rescuing Satine properly  0_0  )

3. A moment of real Dark Side temptation for Obi-Wan. It didn’t have to be as extreme as my series, The Dark Side of Obi-Wan Kenobi, but there should have been something more significant in that moment. Or at least more visible grieving into the next episode arc. Obi-Wan gets over Satine really fast and it really pisses me off. He’s such a perfect Jedi that it almost makes him seem heartless. I’ll say it again: GRATIFY YOUR AUDIENCE!!

OK, sorry… this is a little less about a kissing scenario and a little more about asking for a moment where Obi-Wan reveals his feelings to Satine… But that’s OK… right??????

I’m so very sorry, Anon!!!! This is the longest thing I’ve ever written and I’m afraid I may not even have answered your question!!! This is probably way more than you bargained for. I apologize for rambling on and on. But thank you for the lovely ask. I honestly really appreciated thinking about something other than my own awful life :) Thank you for your kind words! And thank you so much for following my blog!!!!!!! It warms my heart that you enjoy my stuff. Please keep in touch!!