#I've never actually spoken out loud before

[dreamergraveyard]

Holy shit I'm more British than I thought.

[star-sim]

"is your girlfriend single?" ☆ enha hyungs

☆ youtuber! non-idol! bf! enhypen hyung line x fem! reader ☆ summary: when your youtuber boyfriend finally shows you for the first time to his audience. ☆ genre: fluff, jealous and whipped boys... kinda dumb lol ☆ warning(s)? no! just fluff!! and attempts at humor :( ☆ reblogs and comments are appreciated :D also not proofread lol

maknae ver.

heeseung ☆

i like to think that hee would be a gaming youtuber

posts maybe like once or twice a week, has about 3 million subs

he sometimes likes to stream, just to get to know his fanbase better and to just hang out

normally he texts you to let you know abt it, but today he totally forgot

you came home from work and you saw his office door closed + heard the sound of his loud ass keyboard clicking.... my guy beats that shit UP atp

that was normal tbh

you were probably like "my little keyboard warrior ❤️" and went to go wash up in your shared bathroom and bedroom

you were going to just pop into his office, say hi and maybe give him a kiss

meanwhile... heeseung is taking a break from gaming, just talking to the chat

he definitely didn't notice you coming home... probably bc of that bigass head set that's creating a fucking valley in his skull... (btw have u seen those videos where gamers take off their headphones and they have a dent on their head 😭)

anyways you open the door, ready to say hi, but heeseung is visibly surprised, looking like a deer in headlights

you look at him, then at the back of his monitor, then back at him, then at his monitor

"should i come back another time...?"

hee's already taking off his headphones, leaning back into his gaming chair--

"no no no!" he grins, glancing at the chat, which is now blowing up

"who is that?"

"yooooo"

"HEESEUNG IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?"

"gf reveal?"

"she sounds so pretty"

heeseung pats his lap, "cmere, baby, i wanna introduce you to the stream"

of course you comply <3

you take a seat on his lap, his arms slithering around your waist

it takes you a moment to take in what's on his screen: obv there's your reflections, then the chat boxes and announcement pop-ups

the way that the blue-purple light of his screen reflects onto your skin, casting a glassy gleam over your eyes-- and the way that your pretty eyes look at the monitor so curiously, lips parted ever-so-slightly-- made you look SO beautiful

heeseung himself has to angle his head in a way so that he could see your face properly.... and a soft grin unknowingly began to spread over his lips

he presses a soft kiss to the crook behind your ear, before looking back up at the stream

"hey guys," there's a clear smile in his voice, "this is my girlfriend, [name]."

you take that as your queue to introduce yourself

honestly, you're a little shy and softer-spoken now, bc you're not in front of a camera nearly as often as your boyfriend is, "hi.. i'm [name], and... uhm..." you give the webcam a clumsy, awkward (but very cute) smile, "i'm hee's girlfriend"

the chat blows up immediately

"SHE'S SO CUTE"

"i've never seen heeseung look so soft"

"[name] you're so pretty :)"

"this might actually be one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen im not joking guys"

"chat is she real... bc why is she actually GLOWING oh my lord🧎🧎🧎"

those comments make you a lil shy and bashful, and you feel your cheeks kinda warm

you just giggle reading them, unable to contain your smile

heeseung, on the other hand, is feeling prideful

"that's right, guys," he squeezes your waist, puffing his chest out, "my girlfriend is so beautiful" "i know i'm so lucky to have such a wonderful woman as my girlfriend"

he's overjoyed by all the compliments you're getting... it makes him so happy that he can show you off and that everyone gets to see that YOURE his gf

in fact, he's reading a lot of them aloud, and following it up with "i agree with you"

like he'll read "'[name] is absolutely stunning, like wow..." and heeseung nods and is like "i agree with you, xXdragontittysucker23Xx 🤓☝️"

but then a comment stops him in his tracks...

"heeseung is your girlfriend single by any chance?"

his face drops immediately

"hey... who in the chat asked if [name] is single?!"

he's actually offended, putting a dramatic hand on his chest and scoffing

"how rude!" heeseung pouts against your shoulder when even more of his viewers begin saying similar things

"[name] are you free this weekend"

"hi [name] (i'm 6'2 and drive a lamborghini and save orphans every weekend)"

"heeseung get out i'm trying to have a moment with your girlfriend"

you're actually such a cutie, becuase you're just giggling as more and more comments come trying to rizz you up

"what do you have to say for yourself?" heeseung asks you half-sulkily and half-defensive, pushing his face into your neck and pouting

your eyes glimmer with a little mischief, wanting to tease your boyfriend a little bit

"i mean... " you pretend to think

and then someone named jungkooksleftpinkytoe562 says in chat "please [name] i'll rock your world so hard just one chance"

you laugh

"jungkooksleftpinkytoe562, i'm free tomorrow at 5, you should take me out on a date" and you wink playfully and laugh again

chat blows up like

"WOAHHHH"

"AYOOO????"

but if there's anyone that's scandalized, it's heeseung lee himself

"HEY! HEY! WHAT?!!?!" he's squinting and scrolling so fast in the chat to find jungkooksleftpinkytoe562 that you can hear the scroll-wheel oh my god

"you guys better back off," heeseung says, pulling you even closer. he presses a kiss against your shoulder, then gently clutching your face to kiss your chin, "she's mine!"

heeseung's eyes narrow, "especially you, jungkooksleftpinkytoe562..." your bf gives you a quick peck on the lips, "i'll kick your ass if i see you flirting w my girlfriend again >:("

im gonna be fr... none of his viewers care

in fact they keep flirting with you

and the fact that you keep playfully flirting back adds fuel to heeseung's flames

but he'd never blame you <3

he's pouty after the stream lol (but he knows it's all in good fun) so kiss his cute lil pouty lips

i think this definitely goes viral on twitter

like #[name] or #heesgf trends for a good 48 hours

jay ☆

my guy is a cooking channel

i think jay would try to be more private abt his personal life to his viewers, just given the nature of his content

though, it's no secret that jay has a s/o to his viewers, and i think they'd know your name

but yk how at the end of cooking videos, after the chef cooks, they try the food...

i think in a few of his videos, there's clips of you and him trying his food, but while jay is usually in-frame, you're either behind the camera or just barely in the frame so that most people have really only heard your voice and seen your hands

the comments are usually tame, like

"[name]'s voice is so pretty!"

"i want someone to look at me the way jay looks at [name]"

"my parents!"

but one day

for one of his subscriber milestone specials

let's say 2million subscriber special

jay does a cooking challenge

it's "cooking a meal but BLINDFOLDED"

he starts the video explaining the parameters of the challenge and what he's doing, etc

but then he reveals that you're behind the camera to supervise him

obv bc he's in a kitchen with ovens and knives and he's blindfolded...

throughout the video, you kind of just guide your bf

"omg jay move your hand or you'll cut your fingers off!"

"turn on the stove-- no the other way!!"

at some point, jay is cutting up onions

and normally he's a pro at it, and you never question his abilities

but because he can't see and he's using the knife so quickly, you're freaked out like "babe!!!!!! that doesn't seem safe!!! 😰😰😰"

so then behind the camera, you're heard fussing about it and it's cute lol

then you take it upon yourself to help him

you go behind him, slithering your arms around him so that your hands were places on his

you guide his hands to cut the onions slowly

"babe, i got this," jay says, but tbh he's not complaining because he gets to be close to you :D

"nonono i don't want you to die!!" you say, and it seems like you're more concentrated on cutting the onions than him

this is the first time that your face is in-frame for one of his videos lol

when you're done, jay tries to kiss your head, but he can't find you so you raise yourself on your tippy toes for him

its a quick peck but you giggle and place a kiss behind his ear

when he's done cooking his little dish, it's time to garnish and decorate it with sauce

jay's plan is to use the sauce to write "happy 2 million subscribers" on the dish

but because he's blindfolded, the writing is so fucked up

it's completely unintelligable and just a glob of sauce 😭

and then he tries to draw a dick on it but it's also super fucked 😭😭😭😭

when you see this, you burst out laughing so hard

and this makes jay laugh too

anyways the video goes up, it's very cute and well-received

now.... the youtube comments are still tame

"[name]'s laugh is so cute!"

"i screamed when she popped into frame... she's gorg"

"the way that [name] looks at jay when he's blindfolded is everything"

"[name] looks so beautiful"

but uh

it gets crazy on twitter

as it always does

"jesus fucking christ if a woman like that wrapped her arms around me and kissed me i would fall to my knees and die happily"

"jay CANNOT handle allat.... but i can!!!! me next!!"

"god... when is it my turn to have a pretty woman kiss me"

"[name] i'll treat you so well PLEASE"

i think the clip of you helping jay cut the onions kinda goes viral, just because you look so attractive doing it

like the way you popped into frame as you rolled up your sleeves and the way you smirked at jay's inability to see... ZOOWEE MAMA!!!!!

and i think this eventually makes its way onto tiktok

like pretty standard videos of ppl being like "JAY'S GIRLFRIEND HELLO???" with comments like "she's so beautiful," etc

jay honestly thinks its funny

he knows that people are joking and he sometimes actually plays along with them

he loves that people are appreciating your beauty (but he loves even more that he's the only one that actually gets you)

when you first go viral, you're kinda shy about it, but jay just pulls you close, kisses your cheek, squishing them, and says "my baby is so beautiful"

youre like "jayyyyyy stoopppp"

he only chuckles and starts to pepper your face with more kisses, despite your lil whines for him to stop

but then while you two are cuddling one night, you laying on his chest with your face in his neck

a tiktok appears on his fyp

its just some teenager being like "hi does anyone know if jay's girlfriend is single?" while showing off a black BMW in the background... and then jay's directly tagged in it

he takes this as his opportunity to strike back

he stitches that tiktok, and makes his own tiktok in response

it's just a really short video where jay shows you all snuggled up against him completely silent before he just says "No, she is not single. 😐."

the caption's like "i'm taking [name] out on a date tomorrow shhh don't tell her"

everyone thinks it's really sweet tbh

jake ☆

truthfully i think jake would be into youtube commentary

something like danny gonzalez or jarvis johnson

he looks at troom troom videos and makes fun of them lowk 😭

speaking of, troom troom or troom troom - adjacent content usually has crazy ass lifehacks

so for one of his videos jake is testing out troom troom life hacks

and for one of them, he has to drill a hole in a skateboard or something and put pasta noodles in it idk i'm pulling this out of my ass but its not surprising if this is a legitimate troom troom life hack

unlike heeseung and jay, jake's viewerbase doesn't rlly know about you

again, given the nature of his content, jake never rlly found it necessary to mention his personal relationships

anyways jake is in the middle of your living room floor drilling a hole into a skateboard and putting spaghettie in it when you come home from work and see that shit

jake is in the middle of talking to the camera but the moment the door cracks open he trails off

he gives you that smile-- the one that a puppy gives when their owner catches them doing something they shouldnt aw

when you take in the sight before you, you let out a laugh, not noticing the camera rolling

you place your things down and slink toward your boyfriend

"what's going on here, jakey?" you ask him with a cocked brow, loving the way he chuckles nervously

you crouch down beside him, poking the skateboard-spaghetti abomination with your foot

"i'm testing out troom troom life hacks" he sounds defeated lol

anyways you give him a kiss on his cheek and leave him to his own devices

in the final video, your little interruption is only like 15 seconds bc jake cut it down-- but he def keeps the part where you kiss him

HOWEVER.

because jake's audience didn't know he had a girlfriend

they were all like WOAH WHO IS THAT GORGEOUS WOMAN

a few of his fans look at who he's following on instagram, and they find your account

your ig is public, but it's definitely small and personal

they find pictures of you and jake doing cute couple things, a lot of mirror selfies, matching costumes, and cute pictures that you take of jake

but...

they also find your own personal pictures

ones of you in a bikini at the beach, ones of you with the golden sun on your face, ones showing off your outfit and hair, ones of you in the morning, ones of you being a baddie

and lets not mention jake in the ig comment sections hyping you up like a teenage boy like "YOURE SO HOT [NAME] 🔥🔥🔥🔥"

jake and you see all the comments and tweets about you

so jake decides to take it upon himself to clarify everything

he posts a picture on instagram of you and him with the caption "yes, that's my girlfriend"

safe to say that it becomes his top post LMAOAAO

his ig comments are flooded with support

"you guys are so cute"

"i'm glad to see jake have someone that he loves"

etc

YOUR ig comment section on the other hand?

flooded with support

and thirst

HELP

his fans are respectful but they REALLY love to compliment you

"woahhh you look so good in this one!"

"gorgeous 😍"

"[name] will you marry me?"

but i do think a few are outright insane omg

"[name] you're my sunshine in the ran, the tylenol when i'm in pain, when it's burning hot on summer days you're exactly what i need"

i think they pull out poetic shit omg

like shit like

"the memory of you is a tapestry I had decided to wrap myself in until it suffocated me, to such extent that in the morning, people will not find my body, but a new silhouette woven within its threads"

"there is a city in my heart where you are its only population"

"if i could remake universe, i would replace you as the moon amongst the stars after your time, so i may gaze upon you every night"

jake is NEVER escaping

you appreciate the hype

but jakey?

he loves that you're being appreciate but YOU'RE HIS

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY THINK THEY HAVE A CHANCE W U

"jakey they're just being nice"

"no they're trying to STEAL YOU"

like a day later he posts a picture of you on his instagram with the caption "she's mine btw"

his comments DO NOT CARE 😭😭😭

when someone comments

"jake is your gf single and can i take her out on a date"

jake straight up responds

"NO."

what a cutie

sunghoon ☆

i actually don't think sunghoon would be a YOUTUBER youtuber

instead i think he'd be a famous ice skater, but he has YOUTUBE interviews and is active on social media

definitely the type of athlete that's very personable

like sunghoon is def in touch with his fanbase and interacts with them on twt and stuff

his fanbase knows that he has a gf, but that's basically the limit

anyways sunghoon is doing one of those "WIRED answered the web's most searched questions"

you're actually in the studio with him during the interview, kinda there for support

the questions are tame like

"sunghoon park height" "sunghoon park winter olympics 2018" "where was sunghoon park born" etc

sunghoon's killing it

until one of the last questions on the board is "does sunghoon park have a girlfriend?"

he immediately lights up

"i do have a girlfriend!" he says, looking off-set at you, "her name's [name] and she's the most beautiful woman i've ever met"

you chuckle quietly at his comment, flashing him a pretty smile

sunghoon continues- "she's actually here with me today" and he points to you, making the cameraman pan over to you, who is sitting off the set

you just give the camera a thumbs up

you thought that would be the end, but sunghoon asks, "baby, do you want to do this interview with me?"

ofc you agree

he makes u sit on his lap lol even when the camera crew is bringing another chair for you

instead of answer more questions sunghoon just talks about your relationship the entire time

he's giving an entire history lecture about your relationship

you don't say much, but you listen to him intently

when this interview goes up

a lot of his fans make edits of it

sunghoon is already known as a quiet typa guy, but when he talks for like 2 minutes straight about your relationship everyones like "oh god this guy really likes his girlfriend 😭"

in fact

the official interview cuts down sunghoon's tangent about you to 2 minutes, when the original clip was actually 10 minutes

i like to believe that WIRED released an uncut version of his tangent 😭

his fans make short edit videos like "sunghoon being whipped for [name]" or "sunghoon really likes his gf"

i think his fans also make edits of YOU

even though you're honestly in a very short clip of his interview

the way you look at him and listen so intently is SO GOOD

like you were definitely giving him 'the look' as he talked abt your relationship yk?

that once-over, maybe a little lip bite, MMMMM SO GOOD

now....

ik i said that heeseung was the keyboard warrior but like... i think sunghoon is the real one

he's out here fighting BATTLES with his keyboard oml

when stan twitter sees this.... sunghoon starts to fight them

there's tweets like

"the more i listen to sunghoon talk about his gf i more i feel like i'm falling for her"

"the woman that you are, [name]..."

"when she looks at the camera i feel shy"

"omg SHE WANTS ME"

sunghoon gets petty OH MY GOD

he responds to all the tweets about you

like

"she does not want you 😐." "you have no chance with her. 😐." "too bad she's mine 😇"

it's def in a playful joking way and it's really funny, but sunghoon is out here defending your honor

i think at some point sunghoon stops responding with words and just begins responding with pictures

someone tweets "sunghoon is your gf single"

and he straight up just responds with a picture of him staring blankly at the camera

LIKE HE'S DRILLING HOLES THROUGH THE CAMERA WITH HIS EYES

an absolute cutie if i do say so myself

on valentines day he posts a picture of him holding your hand to be extra petty lol

maknae ver.

[kaiyunsim]

just a boy —

pairing : fuckboy!jay x gn!reader

summary : you meet jay at a party where you reject him after making a move… he likes it when they play hard to get.

warnings : angst, fluff, more angst than fluff tbh, uni au, reader is a freshman, jay is older, featuring heeseung + jake, jisung from nct, and minju from illit

a/n : omg fun to write is actually an understatement. i hope it turned out fun to read :) also for my pookie @writhyv

queueing : just a boy - alaina castillo,

— wc : 6.6 — not proof read —

you don't really care about parties. they're loud, crowded, and always filled with people trying too hard. but minju drags you along anyway, insisting that you need to "experience the university nightlife" at least once.

"come on, it'll be fun," she says, looping her arm through yours. "plus, jisung bailed on me, and i am not third-wheeling jake and his situationship all night."

so now you're here, standing awkwardly in the corner of a frat house, gripping a red solo cup filled with something that smells suspiciously like gasoline. minju is already off somewhere, talking to a girl from her english class, and you're left to watch as people dance, drink, and make questionable decisions.

"you look miserable," a voice says from beside you.

you turn and come face to face with park jongseong, jay, as everyone calls him. you know his name, even if you've never spoken before. he's older, popular, and has a reputation that follows him everywhere he goes.

flirt. player. fuckboy.

minju has warned you about him. "he's hot, yeah, but he's the kind of guy who doesn't do relationships. he flirts, hooks up, and moves on. trust me, i've seen it happen."

but none of that matters, because you have no plans to entertain him.

jay grins at you, leaning against the wall like he owns the place. he's got that easy confidence, the kind that comes with knowing he's attractive and that people want him.

"not a fan of parties?" he asks, tilting his head.

you shrug. "not really."

he chuckles. "then why are you here?"

"minju."

his eyebrows raise slightly. "you know minju?"

"from high school." you say, keeping your answers short.

"interesting," he muses, eyes scanning your face like he's trying to place you somewhere in his memory. he doesn't seem to recognize you, though, which isn't surprising. you've never exactly run in the same circles.

"so," he says, shifting closer. "wanna dance?"

it's not a question, not really. it's the kind of offer people don't usually refuse, not when it comes from him. jay park doesn't get turned down.

but you just blink at him and say, "no, thanks."

his smile falters, just for a second, before he recovers. "really? you sure? i promise i'm a good dancer."

"i'm sure." you say with a fake smile, giving off the vibe that you’re annoyed

he lets out a soft laugh, like he can't believe you're actually rejecting him. his ego must be bruised, but he hides it well, still looking at you with interest.

"alright," he says, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "then how about a drink? i can get you something better than… whatever that is." he nods at your cup.

"i'm good."

"wow," he murmurs, shaking his head in amusement. "you're really not making this easy for me, huh?"

"should i?"

he grins, running a hand through his dark hair. "most people do."

"well, i'm not most people."

jay studies you for a moment, like he's trying to figure out why you're different. why you're not reacting the way everyone else does. you don't bat your lashes at him, don't giggle or play into his flirting. and for some reason, instead of turning him away, it only seems to intrigue him more.

"i like you," he says suddenly.

you roll your eyes. "you don't even know me."

"not yet," he agrees, "but i’d like to."

there's something almost playful in his voice, but you know better. jay isn’t interested in getting to know people. he's interested in chasing, in winning. and right now, you’re just another game to him.

"keep liking me from a distance," you say, brushing past him.

you don’t look back, but you feel his eyes on you as you walk away.

for the first time in his life, park jongseong has been rejected. and somehow, you think that only makes him more determined.

—

you don't think much about your encounter with jay. to you, it was just another conversation at a party, one you barely wanted to be at in the first place.

but apparently, jay thinks otherwise.

it starts with small things.

you see him at the campus café, where he just so happens to show up right behind you in line.

"oh, hey," he says casually, as if running into you is pure coincidence.

you glance at him, unimpressed. "hey."

"what are you getting?"

you turn back to the menu. "haven't decided."

"let me guess," he hums, tapping a finger against his chin like he's solving some great mystery. "you seem like a caramel macchiato kind of person."

you raise a brow. "what does that even mean?"

jay grins, leaning in slightly. "sweet, but a little bitter if you get on their bad side."

"so basically, you're guessing."

"i call it an educated guess," he says, nodding at the cashier. "get one. my treat."

"no, thanks."

he lets out a dramatic sigh. "you really don't like accepting things from me, huh?"

"nope."

instead of looking discouraged, jay just watches as you place your order, an iced americano, completely different from what he guessed.

he chuckles. "so i was way off."

"yup."

you take your drink and leave without another word. jay doesn’t follow, but you swear you feel his stare on your back as you walk away.

it keeps happening.

and then, one afternoon, you’re sitting under a tree, trying to get through an assignment, when someone drops into the grass beside you.

"you always look so serious," jay muses.

you don’t even glance up. "because i'm trying to focus."

"right, right." he leans back on his hands. "but don't you ever take a break?"

"nope."

"come on," he nudges your knee with his. "five minutes won't kill you."

you sigh, finally looking at him. "do you need something?"

jay flashes you that same easy grin, the one that probably gets him whatever he wants. "just your company."

"i think you’ll survive without it."

he clutches his chest dramatically. "ouch. you wound me."

"you’ll live."

jay just laughs, shaking his head. "you know, you’re making this really difficult."

"making what difficult?"

"getting to know you."

"who said i wanted you to?"

he stares at you for a moment, eyes glinting with something unreadable. then, instead of answering, he stands up and dusts himself off.

"alright," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "guess i’ll try again tomorrow."

before you can process his words, he's already walking away.

"okay, what is going on?" minju asks a few days later, sliding into the seat across from you in the dining hall.

"what do you mean?"

she gestures dramatically. "you and jay. he keeps staring at you. he keeps showing up wherever you are."

"it's just a coincidence."

"coincidence my ass," she huffs. "he’s interested."

"interested in what? flirting with someone who doesn’t want to flirt back?"

"exactly!" minju exclaims. "he's never been rejected before! you’re like. like. his first loss."

"not a loss," you correct. "just… not a win."

"same thing in his mind." she leans in, eyes narrowing. "be honest. do you like him?"

you snort. "no."

"not even a little?"

"minju, he flirts with anything that breathes."

"true," she concedes, stabbing a piece of her salad. "but he’s never tried this hard before."

you roll your eyes. "and that’s exactly why i’m not interested. he only wants what he can’t have."

"so you think if you gave in, he’d lose interest?"

"obviously. but it’s not like i want him to be interested in the first place,”

but what you don’t see is jay, sitting at another table with jake and heeseung, watching you from across the room.

"so," heeseung says, "still trying?"

jay sips his drink, not looking away. "yup."

jake shakes his head, laughing. "dude, you're obsessed."

"i'm not obsessed," jay scoffs. "i'm just… interested."

heeseung raises a brow. "in what? winning?"

jay pauses. that should be the answer. that’s how it always is. he flirts, he wins, he moves on. but this time, it feels different.

"i dunno," he mutters, eyes still locked on you. "but i wanna find out."

and just like that, park jongseong makes it his mission to make you fall for him.

whether you want to or not.

—

you’re starting to think the universe has a cruel sense of humor.

there’s no other explanation for why jay park keeps showing up everywhere you go.

first, it’s the café… again. you stop by for your usual iced americano, and there he is, leaning against the counter like he has all the time in the world. when he sees you, his lips curl into a smirk.

"you stalking me now?" he teases.

you blink at him. "this is literally my usual spot."

"yeah?" he muses, stepping aside so you can order. "funny. seems like it’s mine now too."

you ignore him and pay for your drink, but as you turn to leave, he suddenly holds out a muffin. "here."

you frown. "what is this?"

"peace offering," he says. "for annoying you so much."

"i don't want it."

jay tuts, shaking his head. "harsh. you don’t like sweets?"

"i don’t like you."

he laughs, completely unbothered. "that’s not true. you just won’t admit you think i’m funny."

you roll your eyes and walk past him, but not before he calls out, "see you around!"

unfortunately, he’s right.

the second time, it’s the library.

you’re sitting at a table, halfway through an essay, when someone slides into the seat across from you.

you don’t need to look up. "seriously?"

jay rests his chin on his palm, grinning. "seriously."

"do you even study?"

"i do now." he gestures to his laptop, which, sure enough, is open.

you sigh and turn back to your work, ignoring him completely. for the first ten minutes, he’s quiet, and you start to think maybe—just maybe—he’s actually here to study.

but then he leans forward. "you always this focused?"

"yes."

"cute," he murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear.

you finally look at him, unimpressed. "why are you here?"

"what, a guy can’t expand his knowledge?"

"you haven’t typed a single word."

jay glances at his screen, where his essay is blank. he shrugs. "i’m thinking."

"about what?"

"about how long it’s gonna take for you to admit you like having me around."

you let out a slow breath, standing up and gathering your things. "good luck with that."

"where you going?"

"somewhere quiet."

jay watches you leave, the smirk never leaving his face.

you think that’s the end of it.

until your professor assigns a group project.

"you’ll be working in pairs," she says. "check the list for your partner."

you scan the names, looking for yours, and freeze.

park jongseong.

"you’ve got to be kidding me," you mutter.

"what?" minju asks, peering over your shoulder. then she snorts. "oh. wow. the universe really has it out for you."

you groan, dropping your head onto the desk.

"who’d you get?"

you glance up to see jisung standing beside you, holding his own paper.

"jay," minju answers for you.

jisung grimaces. "yikes."

"yep."

before you can say anything else, someone taps your shoulder.

"guess we’re partners," jay says, voice far too amused.

you sigh. "don’t remind me.”

—

working with jay is… not as painful as you expected.

you still don’t like him. obviously. but he’s not completely useless.

turns out, he’s actually smart. and organized. he doesn’t slack off or make you do all the work. and—annoyingly—he’s kind of funny.

you realize this when you’re both at the library, bouncing ideas off each other.

"okay, so we could go with this topic," you say, scrolling through the research.

jay hums. "or we could pick something that won’t make me want to throw myself off a building."

you bite back a smile. "dramatic much?"

"you’re underestimating my ability to get bored."

"i think that’s just your problem."

jay gasps, placing a hand over his chest. "ouch. i thought we were bonding."

"we’re working."

"same thing."

you shake your head, but you don’t argue.

slowly, things shift.

you still tell yourself that jay is just playing a game. but sometimes, you catch him looking at you—really looking—and for a moment, it doesn’t feel like one.

like when you’re at the library, and you yawn without thinking.

"tired?" he asks.

"obviously."

without a word, he slides his drink toward you.

you blink. "what—"

"it’s an americano," he says simply.

you hesitate, then take a sip. "it’s sweet."

jay shrugs. "i like sugar."

you give him a look. "so you were way off when you guessed my order last time."

he grins. "guess so."

you shake your head, but you don’t push the drink back.

—

"okay, so he’s not the worst person alive," you admit later.

minju stares at you. "who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

"i’m serious," you say. "he’s… fine. actually kind of helpful."

minju sighs. "that’s how it starts."

"how what starts?"

"you start thinking he’s not that bad. then, before you know it, you’re catching feelings."

"i’m not catching anything."

she gives you a look. "just be careful, okay? he’s only this persistent because you’re the first person to say no."

you nod, but her words stick in your head.

you tell yourself you don’t care.

but then one night, you’re leaving the library, and jay is waiting outside.

"walking alone at this hour?" he muses. "dangerous."

you raise an eyebrow. "and you’re what? my bodyguard?"

jay smirks. "i could be."

"no thanks."

"still," he says, falling into step beside you. "i’ll walk you back."

"you don’t have to."

"i know."

you sigh, but you let him.

the walk is quiet, save for the sound of your footsteps. when you reach your building, you stop.

"this is me," you say.

jay nods. "guess i’ll see you tomorrow."

"guess so."

he hesitates, then lifts a hand, ruffling your hair before you can react.

you blink. "what the—"

he just grins. "goodnight."

then he’s gone, leaving you standing there, heart doing something it definitely shouldn’t be doing.

this is bad.

really bad.

—

the next party is loud, too loud. music shakes the floor, conversations overlap, and the air is thick with the scent of alcohol and sweat. you don’t even know why you’re here.

well. you do.

minju dragged you out, saying you’ve been too cooped up with schoolwork and your stupid group project (which, unfortunately, includes jay park). jisung backed her up, insisting you needed to “socialize like a normal human being.”

so now you’re here, standing in the corner of someone’s crowded apartment, gripping a half-empty cup of soda because you don’t drink, and pretending you’re interested in whatever minju is talking about.

until you see him.

jay.

you tell yourself you shouldn’t be surprised. parties are his thing, after all. loud music, dim lighting, a sea of people who’d fall into his arms without hesitation.

he fits right in.

too well.

you spot him across the room, leaning against the wall, that lazy smirk on his lips. there’s a girl beside him, standing too close, laughing at something he just said. she tilts her head, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. jay doesn’t move away.

he says something else, something that makes her giggle, and then he leans in,,, just a little.

your stomach twists.

it’s stupid. so, so stupid.

this is what he does. this is who he is. he flirts with everyone. you’ve seen it before. you knew this about him before he even knew your name.

but tonight, it bothers you.

you don’t know why, and you don’t want to think about it.

"you okay?" minju asks, nudging your arm.

"yeah," you say too quickly. "just… tired."

she eyes you but doesn’t press. "wanna leave soon?"

you nod. "yeah."

but before you can say anything else, you feel a presence beside you.

"hey," a familiar voice says.

you turn, and there he is.

jay.

his smirk is gone.

"what do you want?" you ask, not in the mood for whatever game he’s playing tonight.

he hesitates, glancing at minju, then back at you. "can we talk?"

"no."

he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "please?"

minju looks between the two of you, then slowly backs away. "i’ll be over there," she says, pointing to jisung.

you cross your arms. "what?"

jay doesn’t answer right away. instead, he exhales, then jerks his head toward the door. "outside?"

you should say no. you should walk away. but there’s something in his eyes, something that makes your chest feel too tight, so you follow him out.

the cool night air is a relief against your heated skin. outside, the noise is muffled, distant, like the party belongs to a different world.

you stop a few steps away from the door, crossing your arms. "well?"

jay shoves his hands into his pockets. "you looked upset."

you scoff. "why do you care?"

"because," he says, stepping closer, "i do."

you laugh, but it’s humorless. "you flirt with someone else, then come running after me? what is this, jay?"

his jaw tightens. "it’s not like that."

"really? because it sure as hell looked like it."

"you think i do this with everyone?" his voice is sharper now, frustration leaking through. "yeah, i flirt, but this,whatever this is, is different, and you know it."

your breath catches.

different.

he said it first.

but that doesn’t change anything.

"do i?" you challenge. "because it looks exactly the same to me."

jay groans, running a hand through his hair. "i didn’t even realize what i was doing."

"that’s not making this better."

"i know!" he snaps. "i just—fuck."

he exhales, tilting his head back like he’s trying to find the right words in the sky. then, softer, he says, "it’s a habit, okay? flirting, keeping things surface-level. that’s just how i’ve always been."

you swallow, suddenly unsure. "then why are you here?"

jay takes another step forward, close enough that you can see the tension in his shoulders, the crease in his brows.

"because i don’t want this to be surface-level," he admits. "not with you."

the words knock the air out of your lungs.

for a moment, neither of you speak.

then you say, "so what? you want me to believe that you’re suddenly different?"

"i don’t know," he admits. "but i know i don’t want to fuck this up."

you stare at him, at the raw honesty in his expression.

this is dangerous territory.

you should walk away.

you don’t.

but then you think about that girl inside, the way he leaned in so easily, the way it took him this long to come after you.

"you say that," you murmur, voice quieter now, "but you still went back to your usual thing the second i wasn’t around."

jay flinches.

"it didn’t mean anything," he says, quickly, desperately. "i wasn’t even thinking about her."

"exactly," you say bitterly. "you weren’t thinking at all."

jay opens his mouth, then closes it.

"you don’t even realize what you’re doing," you continue, voice tight. "you don’t realize how easily you slip into old habits. you say this is different, but are you sure?"

"yes," jay says, without hesitation.

you laugh, but it’s broken. "then why do i feel like i’m just setting myself up to get hurt?"

he doesn’t have an answer for that.

silence stretches between you, heavy and suffocating.

jay looks like he wants to say something, to fix this somehow, but what is there to fix? he’s still the same jay park who flirts with everyone, who doesn’t think before he acts, who only realizes too late that he might actually care.

"you’re not ready for this," you whisper.

"i am," he insists, but there’s something fragile in his voice, something that tells you even he isn’t sure if he’s telling the truth.

you shake your head. "i don’t think you are."

jay reaches out, just a little, like he wants to touch you, like he wants you to stay.

but you step back.

his hand drops.

and with that, you turn around and walk away.

jay doesn’t call after you.

he doesn’t chase you this time.

and maybe that tells you everything you need to know.

—

you avoid him.

it’s not hard at first. you’re in different years, different circles. you stop going to the café where you know he likes to hang out between classes, ignore the parties minju tries to drag you to, and duck your head whenever you spot him on campus.

the only problem is that jay notices.

you’re not sure when it happens, but at some point, jay park—fuckboy, campus heartbreaker, the guy who shouldn’t care—is suddenly watching you.

you feel it in the way his eyes linger too long when you pass by in the hallway, in the way his conversations falter when you’re around, in the way his whole demeanor shifts whenever you deliberately turn away.

he doesn’t chase after you.

but he’s not ignoring it, either.

and that’s what makes it worse.

it would be easier if he didn’t care, if he went right back to flirting with someone else like nothing ever happened. but he doesn’t.

and that terrifies you.

so you run faster.

"okay, what is wrong with you?"

jay exhales sharply, gripping the pool cue tighter. "nothing."

"bullshit."

heeseung snatches the stick out of his hands before he can even attempt a shot. jay scowls, reaching for it, but heeseung just leans away.

"bro, you’ve been in the worst mood for, like, a week," jake says, spinning an unmarked beer bottle between his fingers. "just admit it."

jay glares. "admit what?"

heeseung rolls his eyes. "that you’re being a little bitch about this whole thing."

jay scoffs. "about what?"

"oh my god," jake groans. "are you in denial, or just stupid?"

jay clenches his jaw. "neither."

heeseung and jake share a look, and jay hates that they’re silently communicating in that annoying, knowing way that only best friends do.

"listen," heeseung starts, "you don’t do feelings. we get it. but this? whatever’s happening between you and—"

"don’t say their name," jay mutters, looking away.

heeseung smirks. "oh, so you do care?"

jay exhales, tilting his head back against the worn leather of the booth.

fuck.

he doesn’t know what this is.

he just knows that it sucks.

he didn’t think avoiding them would be a big deal. people walk away from him all the time, sometimes before he can even do it first.

but this?

this feels different.

it feels like something is missing. like something is slipping through his fingers and he’s too fucking slow to catch it.

"you don’t even like people," jake points out.

jay sighs. "i like you guys."

"yeah, but we don’t count," heeseung snorts. "we’re basically required to deal with your bullshit."

jay scoffs, shoving his shoulder, but heeseung just grins.

then, quieter, he says, "this is the first time you’ve actually looked miserable over someone."

jay doesn’t answer.

"so what are you gonna do about it?" jake asks.

jay exhales, drumming his fingers against the table.

he doesn’t know.

but he knows he can’t keep pretending this is nothing.

not anymore.

—

you don’t know why you look.

it’s just a normal afternoon. you’re heading toward the library, minju walking beside you, talking about something jisung said earlier.

and then you see him.

jay is standing near the campus courtyard, golden light catching the sharp edges of his jawline. he’s not alone.

there’s a girl with him. she’s standing close—too close. her hand is on his arm, fingers curling lightly around the sleeve of his jacket. she laughs at something he says, head tilting, eyes locked on his.

and jay?

jay just smiles.

it’s the same smile you’ve seen before, the same effortless charm, the same easy confidence that has made him a campus legend. he leans in slightly, talking low, his posture relaxed like he’s done this a thousand times.

because he has.

your chest tightens.

"hey, you okay?" minju asks beside you, nudging your arm.

you snap your gaze away, pulse quickening. you shouldn’t care. you knew what he was like before you even met him. you knew he flirted with anyone he found attractive, that he never had to try, that he never faced rejection.

you knew he was never meant to be serious.

so why does it feel like something inside you is caving in?

"yeah," you mumble. "just remembered something i have to do."

minju frowns, but you don’t give her a chance to question it. before she can say anything, you turn and walk the other way, ignoring the burning feeling in your chest.

you don’t look back.

and jay doesn’t notice you leaving.

yet, jay can tell something’s wrong.

he doesn’t know what it is, but he can feel it.

it’s in the way you won’t look at him, the way you walk past him like he’s just another face in the crowd.

at first, he thinks he’s imagining it. you were never friends to begin with—maybe you were just busy, maybe this is normal.

but the shift is undeniable.

before, you’d at least acknowledge him. you’d give him a polite nod, a passing glance, sometimes even a subtle eyeroll when you caught him flirting.

now?

nothing.

he sees you on campus, and you don’t even flinch.

he walks past your usual café, and you’re not there.

he catches you in the library and for a second. just a second. he swears you meet his gaze.

but then you turn away.

like he’s not even there.

he doesn’t plan to confront you.

but after a week of this, of whatever this is, he finds himself standing outside your dorm, hands shoved in his pockets, frustration bubbling under his skin.

he doesn’t even know why he’s here.

it’s not like you owe him anything.

but still, he knocks.

no answer.

he exhales sharply, rocking back on his heels, debating whether to try again.

then, he hears footsteps.

"what are you doing here?"

jay turns, finding jisung standing a few feet away, arms crossed.

"looking for y/n," jay says. "they’ve been… acting weird."

jisung raises an eyebrow. "and you just noticed?"

jay frowns. "what’s that supposed to mean?"

jisung exhales, shaking his head. "they saw you," he says simply.

jay’s stomach tightens. "...what?"

"the other day. in the courtyard. with that girl."

jay blinks, the memory slotting into place. shit.

"they saw you smiling at her," jisung continues, his voice even but firm. "letting her touch you. looking at her the way they thought—" he stops himself, sighing. "never mind."

jay’s pulse kicks up. "you think they—"

"they think they were stupid for believing you might actually be different with them," jisung cuts in, sharper now. "they think they almost fell for the same bullshit you pull on everyone else."

jay clenches his jaw.

fuck.

he wasn’t thinking. he didn’t even realize.

but now, remembering the moment, the way the girl had laughed, the way she had leaned in, the way he hadn’t pulled away—

he understands.

and it feels like he just lost something important without even knowing he had it.

"if you’re gonna say something, make it worth their time," jisung says. "because right now? they don’t want anything to do with you."

jay doesn’t answer.

because for the first time in his life, he’s the one who got it wrong.

he’s the one who let something real slip through his fingers.

and he has no idea how to fix it.

but he knows one thing—

he has to try.

—

you don’t expect him to be waiting for you.

it’s late. you just finished a study session with minju, and all you want is to go back to your dorm, crawl under the covers, and forget about everything—forget about him.

but as soon as you step into the dimly lit hallway leading to your room, you see him.

jay.

leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, jaw tight, eyes dark with something unreadable.

your heart stutters.

you hesitate, debating whether to turn around, pretend you didn’t see him. but then he looks up—really looks at you—and you know there’s no escape.

"we need to talk," he says, pushing off the wall.

fuck jisung for letting him in.

"i don’t think we do," you mutter, stepping past him, reaching for your door.

but before you can, jay moves, his hand catching your wrist—gently, cautiously, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away.

"please," he says.

you freeze.

he’s never said please before. at least, not like this. not as desperate as this.

slowly, you turn to face him, sighing. "jay—"

"just let me say this," he cuts in, eyes burning with something raw, something you’ve never seen on him before. desperation.

you press your lips together but nod.

jay exhales, running a hand through his hair. "i—fuck, i don’t know how to do this," he mutters, shaking his head. "i’m not good at this."

"then don’t," you say, voice sharper than you intended. "don’t stand here and feed me some excuse about how you 'don’t do relationships' or 'didn’t mean to hurt me.' i don’t want to hear it."

jay flinches. "that’s not what i was gonna say."

you cross your arms. "then what?"

he swallows hard, eyes flickering to the floor before meeting yours again. "i—i don’t know how to do this, because i’ve never felt like this before."

your breath catches.

"i didn’t even realize what i was doing," jay continues, voice quieter now. "i didn’t think. i’ve never had to. flirting, messing around—it’s just… easy. but you—" he exhales sharply. "you make things different."

you shake your head. "jay—"

"i don’t want anyone else," he interrupts, stepping closer, voice steady. "just you."

your chest tightens.

"and when you get bored?" you ask, voice barely above a whisper. "when someone new comes along?"

jay shakes his head immediately. "i don’t think i could ever get bored of you."

it’s too much.

too much to believe, too much to trust, too much to risk.

"how am i supposed to believe that?" you ask, eyes searching his face. "how am i supposed to believe you won’t wake up one day and decide i was just another name on your list?"

jay exhales, stepping even closer, until there’s barely any space between you. "because no one’s ever made me feel like this before."

your pulse is loud in your ears.

"i don’t know how to do relationships," he admits, voice low, honest. "i don’t know how to be what you deserve. but i want to try. i want to figure it out—with you."

he’s so close now. close enough that you can smell the faint scent of his cologne, close enough that you can see the hesitation in his eyes, the fear of being rejected, of losing you.

you shouldn’t.

you should walk away.

you should protect yourself, guard your heart, not fall for the one person who could break you the easiest.

but then jay reaches up, fingers brushing against your cheek, his touch hesitant, almost trembling.

"please," he murmurs, his voice almost breaking.

jay park—unshakable, confident, the fuckboy—is breaking in front of you.

and against all logic, all reason—you fall.

before you can think, before you can stop yourself, you close the space between you.

his breath catches, just for a second, before his lips press against yours, warm and desperate.

jay kisses you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, like he’s trying to prove every word he just said. his hands cup your face, pulling you closer, holding you like you’re something fragile—something precious.

and when you kiss him back, letting yourself believe—just for this moment—that maybe, just maybe, this could be real, he sighs against your lips, like he’s just found something he’s been searching for all along.

—

your relationship with jay park is different.

you knew it wouldn’t be easy, falling for someone who never had to try, who never had to work for love. but you never expected this.

never expected him to try so hard.

at first, it’s awkward. jay doesn’t know what he’s doing. he’s used to effortless flirting, meaningless hookups, relationships that start and end in the span of a night.

but with you?

he wants to be better. he wants to be different.

so he does things he’s never done before.

he waits for you after class, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, eyes lighting up when he sees you.

"did you eat?" he asks one day, falling into step beside you.

you blink. "uh… yeah?"

jay nods, looking relieved. "okay. cool. just—yeah. cool."

he’s awkward. jay park, campus fuckboy, the smooth talker who never falters, is awkward.

you bite back a smile. "did you eat?"

he hesitates.

you raise an eyebrow. "jay."

he clears his throat. "…no."

you sigh, grabbing his sleeve and dragging him toward the campus café. he lets you, grinning like you just gave him the world.

the first time he reaches for your hand, it’s so casual that you almost miss it.

you’re sitting next to each other, watching a movie in the dorm common room. your hand rests between you, fingers brushing against his.

then, slowly, hesitantly, jay links his pinky with yours.

your heart stutters.

you glance at him, but he’s staring straight at the screen, his jaw tight, his ears slightly red.

you bite your lip.

then, without a word, you let your fingers slip fully into his.

jay stiffens for half a second. then, his grip tightens, and he exhales, shoulders relaxing.

he doesn’t let go for the rest of the movie.

he’s not used to jealousy.

or rather, he’s not used to his own jealousy.

he’s seen people get possessive over him before, watched girls glare when he flirted with someone new, felt the heat of their disappointment when they realized he wasn’t theirs.

but now?

now he understands.

he understands because he’s standing in the middle of campus, watching some guy—some random guy—smile at you like he has a chance.

and jay hates it.

he crosses the distance before he can think, sliding an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his side.

"hey, baby," he murmurs, voice low, casual, possessive.

your eyes widen. "jay?"

"who’s this?" jay asks, looking at the guy.

the guy blinks, glancing between the two of you. "uh, just—just a classmate."

jay smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. "cool. yeah. we gotta go, though."

you barely have time to say goodbye before jay is leading you away, his grip firm but gentle.

once you’re out of earshot, you elbow him. "what was that?"

jay shrugs. "didn’t like the way he was looking at you."

you roll your eyes. "you can’t just—"

he stops walking, turning to face you, eyes serious. "i know i don’t have the right," he admits. "but i don’t like it. i don’t like the idea of someone else thinking they can have you."

your breath catches.

"you’re mine," jay says, voice softer now. "right?"

you stare at him for a moment.

then, finally, you sigh, reaching up to flick his forehead.

"yeah," you mutter. "i’m yours."

jay grins, rubbing his forehead. "damn right."

heeseung and jake pretend to be disgusted.

"you’re whipped," jake says, shaking his head.

"nah, man, this is worse than we thought," heeseung adds. "he’s holding hands in public."

jay glares at them from across the table, but he doesn’t let go of your hand.

"you guys are just mad i have a functional love life," he says.

jake snorts. "yeah, sure. functional."

"bet he calls them ‘baby’ over text," heeseung whispers loudly.

jake gasps. "you think he—"

"shut up," jay groans.

you’re trying not to laugh. "do you?"

jay glares at you, but his ears are red. "i hate you."

you grin. "you love me."

jay rolls his eyes.

but then, under the table, he gives your hand a squeeze.

and you know—

even if he’ll never admit it out loud—

he really does.

—

you constantly look back and don’t know when you started believing him.

maybe it was the first time he held your hand without thinking, his fingers curling around yours so naturally, like he didn’t need to pretend anymore.

or maybe it was when he let you steal his hoodie, even though you were sure he’d never let anyone do that before.

or maybe—just maybe—it was when you saw the way he looked at you.

because it’s different now.

jay park, the guy who used to flirt with anyone just for fun, the guy who never stuck around, only looks at you.

"okay, but seriously," jake says, pointing a fry at jay. "how the hell did this happen?"

you’re sitting in the corner booth of a diner near campus, squeezed between jay and the wall. heeseung and jake are across from you, both staring like you’re some kind of unsolvable mystery.

jay takes a slow sip of his drink. "what do you mean?"

"you!" heeseung gestures wildly. "relationship jay. committed jay. ‘not flirting with every breathing human’ jay."

"it’s called growth," jay deadpans.

"it’s called ‘i fell first, and i fell hard,’" jake teases, smirking.

jay huffs. "whatever, man."

but he doesn’t deny it.

heeseung leans forward, grinning. "okay, but who confessed first?"

jay opens his mouth—

"me, obviously," you interrupt.

jay’s head snaps toward you. "what?"

you shrug. "you’re a coward. took you forever to admit you liked me."

jake laughs. "ohhh, he got you there."

jay glares at you, but you just smile, nudging his foot under the table.

you laugh, “joking, it’s complicated.”

heeseung rests his chin in his palm. "man, i never thought i’d see the day."

"what day?" you ask, amused.

"the day jay park became a simp."

jay groans, burying his face in his hands. "i hate all of you."

you pat his arm. "no, you don’t."

he exhales, tilting his head to look at you. his eyes soften.

"yeah," he murmurs. "i don’t."

—

later that night, after jay walks you back to your dorm, you linger outside the door.

he doesn’t leave right away.

instead, he leans against the wall, hands in his pockets, just looking at you.

you tilt your head. "what?"

jay hesitates, then exhales sharply.

"it’s weird," he mutters. "this whole time, i thought i had everything figured out. i thought i knew what i wanted. but then you came along, and suddenly, nothing made sense anymore."

your chest tightens.

"i didn’t get it at first," jay continues, eyes flickering to the ground. "why i got so annoyed when you ignored me. why i kept looking for you in every room. why i couldn’t flirt with anyone else without feeling like it was wrong."

he finally meets your gaze.

"but now i do."

your fingers tighten around the door handle, heartbeat loud in your ears.

"i don’t want to be the guy i was before," he murmurs. "not with you."

you swallow. "jay—"

"i know i’m not good at this," he cuts in. "i know i’m gonna mess up. i know i don’t deserve you."

his voice drops lower, almost hesitant. almost afraid.

"but i want to try. and i want you to let me."

for a moment, neither of you speak.

then, finally—

you sigh, shaking your head. "god, you’re such an idiot."

jay blinks. "huh?"

you step forward, grabbing the collar of his hoodie and pulling him down until your foreheads touch.

"you’ve had me this whole time," you murmur.

jay’s breath stutters.

then, slowly—hesitantly—his arms wrap around you, holding you against him, warm and real.

"yeah?" he whispers.

you nod. "yeah."

jay exhales a shaky laugh, squeezing you tighter.

"thank god," he mutters. "i don’t think i could’ve handled losing you."

you smile against his shoulder.

neither could you.

[roguerambles]

A Moment of Respite

Blood of Zeus - Heron x Hera's!Daughter Reader

Warnings - 18+Only.

I've had this sitting in my drafts for ages and I want to get it out before I try any Season 2 stuff. Plus I just like the idea of these two, okay--

Kind of a Part 4 to Trouble.

Enjoy the Rambles!

-

Training was not going well.

You cringed as Heron flew across the arena, crashing into the sands with a pained groan. The automaton returned to its standing position dispassionately, and beside you Zeus sighed heavily.

It had been days since Mother had left Olympus, taking some of the other Gods of Olympus with her to the Underworld. Hades had apparently allowed them sanctuary, although he declared he would be taking no further involvement than that.

...your wrist ached as the memory of Mother’s hand grasping you, Hera and Zeus’s raised voices, Mother’s betrayed expression melting into a fury you had never had directed at you before flashed across your mind.

You had chosen to stay on Olympus, and Mother and Ares had left, others at their heels.

“Zeus.” Hephaestus spoke from behind you, his voice low and gruff. “This isn’t working.”

Zeus’s jaw clenched as Heron went hurtling across the arena once more, kicking up a dust cloud of sand as he crashed into the ground with a loud, painful sounding thump. “He needs to unlock his potential.” His large hands gripped the stonework of the balcony in front of him. “Soon.”

You were not much of a warrior, but you were fairly certain that if Hephaestus’s contraptions broke every bone in Heron’s body, that would be rather counterproductive to improving Heron’s combat efficiency.

As Zeus and Hephaestus continued to bicker in hushed voices, you felt a warm presence appear at your side. Apollo sighed as he leaned against the balcony, peering down into the training ground where Heron stumbled to his feet once more.

“He doesn’t give up, at least.”

“Is this really the best approach?” You nervously played with your hands as you watched Heron get up and be knocked down, over and over.

Apollo shrugged. “Athena is too busy preparing the defences, and Ares is with Hera. We don’t have a lot of options, training wise.”

You both continued to watch for a while, and you could feel your stomach sinking the longer it went on. Heron barely glanced your way.

You had not spoken since the night Mother had left, but the memory of Heron shocked expression as he looked at you – really looked at you – and the blind panic it had created in you made your stomach churn. You had fled to your room and would probably still be there if Hermes hadn’t forced you out.

“You should say hello.”

Your head snapped around to stare at Apollo, you was still looking out over the balcony. “I should what?”

“You should go over and talk to him.” Apollo replied casually, as though he were suggesting something completely normal. “The staring is getting a little old.”

“I am not—I am not staring.”

“Heron!” Apollo called out abruptly, loudly, and to your horror Heron actually looked up towards you. “Would you like some water? We have plenty over here—”

You turned to flee somewhere far, far away, only for Hermes – where in Tartarus did he come from – to appear, blocking your way with a small, but noticeable smile.

Traitor!

Zeus sounded displeased. “Interruptions are not—”

Apollo grabbed his father’s arm and began tugging him towards the stairs, so suddenly Zeus stumbled. “You are correct, Father, we should check the equipment on the other side of the arena—”

Zeus looked confused as Hermes joined Apollo in practically dragging the King down the stairs. Hephaestus rolled his eyes and stalked towards the automaton, muttering something about “those bloody sons of Zeus”. You were rooted to the stop as Heron slowly approached, his head low, as though he were struggling to meet your eye.

Your heart clenched as Heron busied himself gathering water, taking somewhat longer than was required for the task. The silence was so dense you felt it were almost choking you. You scrambled for something, anything, to say, but your mind was a void of disjointed words. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you. I couldn’t tell you. Please don’t be angry. I’m sorry for Electra, I’m so—

“…you’re short.”

You were yanked from your frazzled thoughts when Heron finally said something. You looked at him in confusion, while Heron cringed, looking frustrated with himself. “I…pardon?”

“I just mean….” Heron rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but directly at you. “You…the others are….you look different. Not bad, you’re beautiful, I just mean—”

“Oh. Oh! Right, yes, well, I wasn’t born like the rest of them. Mother—she made me out of clay.” Heron lifted his head to stare at you blankly. You felt your cheeks burn. “It is…unusual, I know.”

“…I’m sorry, was that rude—”

“No, no, not at all, you should hear how Apollo and Artemis were born—”

Silence fell over you again as you both fumbled over your words. You were torn between fleeing the arena altogether and staying exactly where you were because awkward or not you and Heron were talking. Over his shoulder you could see Zeus and Hephaestus by the automaton, and knew Heron would be pulled away soon. You inhaled deeply, steeling your nerves. I am the Queen of the Heavens daughter, by the Fates, act like it. “Heron….I am so sorry. About…about your mother.”

Heron looked pained, his fingers clenching around the waterskin in his hand. “…it was Hera, wasn’t it?”

It wasn’t a question, and you both knew it. You bowed your head, yours eyes beginning to sting. Do not cry. This isn’t about you.

“…yes.” You forced out, your throat feeling thick. “Heron…Heron, I know it’s not enough, but I’m sorry—”

“Why?” Heron cleared his throat, tossing the waterskin down. “It’s not your fault. You weren’t even there.”

“But….” You bit your lip. “Mother…I mean… Hera is—”

“Your mother, I know.” Heron wasn’t quite looking at you again, but he didn’t sound angry. Grief clung to his voice, and you fought the impulse to reach for his hand. “And Zeus is my…father. That alone made mother and I targets for Hera’s wrath. You had nothing to do with it.”

“Heron—”

Heron started to laugh.

You faltered, and watched as Heron hurriedly clamped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide as though startled by his own reaction. “I…I am sorry.” He choked out, eyes wide even as you caught glimpse of a mirthful smile behind his fingers. “Please…please continue…”

Your anxiety was briefly overpowered by confusion. “What…what is so amusing…?”

Heron’s shoulders began to shake. “I…I assumed your parents would disapprove of me.” He said, and the words seemed to break something in him. He doubled over, grasping his knees, eyes squeezing shut as he began to laugh even harder. “Now…now it turns out your mother is Hera. And…and I am the bastard son of her philandering husband….!”

You stared owlishly at him as his laugh grew louder – you could see Zeus and Hephaestus watching from the side-lines, their expressions suggesting concern that the automaton had hit Heron harder than they had feared.

“That’s…well yes, that is….Heron….Heron, it’s not funny!”

Heron tried to reply, but it came out as a wheeze. “I…gods…I had no idea…!”

You could feel a smile beginning to creep onto your face and tried to squash it, but Heron’s laughter was infectious, and was the most happy you’d seen him in…well, a while. “Well…no, I suppose…I suppose you are not what my mother would consider an ideal suitor…”

That brought on another wave of near hysterical laughter, and you found yourself giggling along with Heron, until you were both cackling like lunatics in the middle of the arena. You slumped against Heron’s shoulder, clamping a hand over your mouth as you saw Zeus heading towards you both.

“…if you are both finished?” He asked dryly, his eyebrows raised. Heron’s laughter stuttered to a stop, but he didn’t move away from you, the feeling of his body against yours leaving warmth against your skin.

You reluctantly straightened up, brushing away non-existent creases in your dress. “I suppose….” You gestured wordless at the arena. Zeus eyed you cautiously, before clearing his throat and turning back towards the automaton, as though he were examining it. Heron rolled his eyes slightly as you bit down a chuckle – you supposed he was trying to give you both a moment.

“Wish me luck.” Heron gripped his sword, his free hand rising to sheepishly rub his neck. “I think I’ll need a fair share of it…”

You laughed slightly, reaching out to gently pat his arm. He smiled in response, before sighing and trudging after Zeus.

“I think that went well.” Hermes said cheerfully from behind you. You nearly jumped out of your skin. “Don’t you think that went well, Apollo?”

“Indeed!” The Sun God chirped, appearing at your side. “See? All is well that ends well.”

“You two do remember…” Artemis sighed from somewhere behind you – when did she get here? – “…the approaching civil war, yes?”

“Small victories, dearest sister.”

You flushed and turned to stride back towards the stands, while Hermes and Apollo snickered to themselves. Artemis rolled her eyes as you sat beside her, although a small, teasing smile began to tug at her mouth. “Although….I did notice he didn’t deny it when you described him as a suitor.”

“Artemis!”

You blushed furiously as the Goddess of the Hunt laughed, and your stubbornly kept your gaze ahead, focusing on Heron on the sands below, feeling just a little bit lighter than before.

[sirsoggybread]

Stranger|Spencer Reid

Spencer Reid x Winchester! Reader Summary: A Criminal Minds x Supernatural crossover in which Spencer finds the Reader drowning their sorrows at the bar. (Potentially the first part of a series.) Warnings: Drinking, typical mentions of violence, spoilers for s7/s8 of supernatural, gn! reader, no use of y/n, reader doesn't like whiskey? idk i've never done this before WC: 1.4k a/n: I'm gonna be so honest, I actually don't know what this is. This is my first time actually posting a fic, I'm trying my best, so please judge lightly. If your interested in reading more, I may be interested in writing more. don't quote me on any facts btw, i stole them almost verbatim from wikipedia.

You swirled your drink around in your glass. You had been sipping on it slowly, because it was hard to force the bitter taste down. You never liked whiskey, you weren't sure why you ordered it, except you were, because it was Dean's favorite drink.

Chasing a lead that led you to another dead end is what brought you to this annoyingly loud, and overly warm bar. Missing him, and replaying those last few memories over and over again in your mind is what led you here. One moment he was there, jamming the stake into Dick Roman's heart, one moment you guys were successful, and the strenuous fight against the leviathans was finally over. The next moment? Dean was gone. 

Your phone buzzed in your back pocket, it was Kevin, again. You let out a soft sigh as you declined it, again. You felt a little guilty, but you did not have the energy to talk to him. Or the heart to tell him that the lead he was so proud of digging up led to nothing. 

You were tired. For the past six months you had been telling yourself that he was alive. He had to be. There was no body, and if there was no body then he was not dead. He was Dean, you're invincible older brother who loved you so dearly and of course he wasn't dead.

But you were starting to doubt yourself. Even if he was alive, crawling around Purgatory somewhere, how would you get to him? How could you save him like he had saved you so many times before? 

You were pulled out of your spiraling thoughts by the soft spoken, almost meek words of the man standing next to you, waiting on his drink.

"You... alright?" 

Slowly, you turned your head, and you met his gaze. His hazel eyes held a soft expression, filled with concern for you- someone he had never even met before. He nervously tucked a lock of his messy brown curls behind his ear before continuing, "you... seem a little down." 

Your expression softened ever-so-slightly at his gentle demeanor. Still, you weren't exactly in the mood for therapy with a stranger. Besides, it wasn't like you could actually confide in anyone about your troubles, not without them deeming you as crazy and locking you up in the psych ward. 

You nodded slowly in response, bringing your drinks to your lips once again- you tried not to grimace at the taste. "Fine," you said shortly, unable to muster up the energy it took to pretend to be okay.

"Do you... want to talk about it?" He asked as he hesitantly stepped closer, though he was still careful to ensure that the two of you didn't touch. 

"Not particularly," You hummed in response, and you internally cursed the tears that began to prick your eyes. It was a sure sign that the thoughts inside your head were desperate to come out, but if you were good at anything, it was suppressing your emotions. Even when it felt like you were drowning in them.

The man lingered beside you, like he didn’t want to leave you alone, but he also wasn’t sure of what to say, "Did you know that alcoholism, while typically attributed to environmental factors, can also be equally attributed to genetic factors? Someone with a parent or sibling that abuses alcohol is 3 to 4 times more likely to abuse it as well, and it almost always begins by using alcohol to self-medicate." 

At first, you were caught off guard by him suddenly sounding like a wikipedia article, but then his insinuation hit you and you were mildly offended. "You just met me three minutes ago, and now you're calling me an alcoholic?" You asked with a raised eyebrow.

His eyes widened and he vehemently shook his head in response, "No, no, I'm merely suggesting that you..." He trailed off, biting down on his bottom lip as he realized he would only dig himself a deeper hole. He swallowed and attempted a different approach, "I just think that if you're... struggling... you should talk to someone."

You inhaled deeply at his words, and pinched the bridge of your nose. You didn't want to be rude, because he seemed genuinely concerned, but this conversation was grating. “Yeah, well, sorry, but I’m not really in the mood to play therapist tonight.” “Actually, I’m a doctor, not a therapist.” He quickly corrected, which only added to your annoyance. Then, the scraping of the chair next to you filled your ears, as he pulled it out from beneath the bar top and sat down. Great.

“Then, why are you trying to get me to talk about my feelings?” You huffed, meeting his eyes once again. 

His lips formed a sympathetic pout, “Because you look like you need it.” He said gently, eliciting another sigh from you.

You looked up at the ceiling of the bar, as you debated internally. Maybe you did want to talk about it, to get it off your chest, but it wasn’t like you could divulge everything, and even if you could, you doubted some random guy would be able to say anything comforting. “My brother’s gone.” The words came out weakly, before you could even process what you had said.

“Gone?” He asked, his quiet tone barely audible over the music and chatter in the bar. You kept your eyes trained on the last sip of whiskey in your glass as you gave a slight nod, “Yeah… everyone- everyone thinks he’s dead, but… there was no body.” Now that you had started talking about it, the words just kept spilling out, “But I know he’s still out there, I- I know it. I just… I don’t know how to- I don’t know if I can find him.” A moment of silence passed between the two of you, and you looked up from your glass in anticipation. Deep-down, you hoped he would somehow come up with the perfect thing to say. Something that would suddenly cause the wild storm of thoughts swirling around in your brain to clear, or lift the heavy weight of the guilt that settled in your chest. But he didn’t. The disappointment you felt started to sink in as he stared at you with pity in his eyes.

“How long has he been missing?”

“Six months.”

His brows furrowed instantly at your answer, and his stare hardened as if he was deep in thought, “That’s… an awfully short amount of time for someone who’s missing to be determined dead.”

Your lips parted with a sigh at his words. Well, that therapy session was short-lived. You did not feel like carefully choosing words, or coming up with elaborate lies to fill the holes in your story just so you could bare your soul to a stranger. 

“...It’s complicated.” You admitted, forcing the last sip of whiskey down your throat. When you got up from your seat, he quickly followed suit.

“Wait, um, are you… going to be okay to get home?” He asked, swaying awkwardly. You nodded, “Yeah, I’m not driving.” Even if you were, you had only had one drink and you nursed it. “Okay, I just um-” He swallowed nervously and dug out a card from his pocket and offered it to you, “If you… ever need anything, just um, give me a call.”

                                      Doctor Spencer Reid The United States Federal Bureau of Investigation Washington, DC                                 (702) 555-0103

You looked between him and the card he had just handed you, and you were almost impressed by the fact that he worked for the FBI, but you were mostly confused by why he chose to give you his card. “Does every FBI agent just hand out their card whenever they hear a sob story?” “Well, no, I just um- I just thought that, you know.. Maybe- maybe, if something about your brother came up or- or if you needed something I could just um, I dunno, offer some extra assistance.” His eyes finally landed on you as he finished his sentence, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. The corner of your mouth tugged into a subtle smile at his awkward demeanor. He was sweet, but you knew he couldn’t help you. Still, you gestured to the card in your hand, “Thanks, maybe I will.”

You weren’t sure why, but you gave him your name before you left the bar, and you weren’t sure why, but instead of throwing his business card away, you slipped it into your jacket pocket for safe keeping. (Part Two)

[mythicmanuscripts]

Imagine aegon going into sub space for the first time

This is such a great question anon!! I can't believe I've actually never discussed Aegon going into subspace for the first time.

Originally I planned on only writing about the first time he went into subspace but I ended up also just talking in general about the first few weeks of him starting to submit as well so I guess you guys are just getting more sub!aegon than planned. Anyway, sub!aegon below the cut!

So firstly, I definitely think there would be a few times he came very close to subspace in non-sexual settings first??? Like, he so desperately wants someone who can guide him gently.

And gently really is the key word there.

Alicent ‘guides’ him all the time, but she’s harsh and cold and she makes him feel bad. When you smile gently at him and take his head and suggest that maybe he should let the master coin finish their sentence before he kicks them out… he melts. And then when he listens and then dismisses the master of coin and you praise him for being so good? He’s a puddle. You no longer have a husband you have a happy little puddle at your feet, absolutely zero thoughts left.

Anyway point is, those types of interactions are the first times where he starts to come close to subspace. This is especially true when you’re sitting alone with him in your shared bedroom. When the fire is roaring and the blankets are so soft and you’ve got a hand in his hair, of course he’s gonna start to feel all fuzzy and warm and it’s utterly perfect.

Once you start to show that guidance aspect, he stops with the summoning of you to your shared chambers to try for an heir. He can’t do that anymore when he starts to see you as the most special thing he’s ever had. He doesn’t care how much Alicent yaps on and on about him getting an heir, he won’t do that, not when he can spend that time genuinely feeling safe again.

Of course because it’s Aegon things will turn sexual eventually. And this is an idea I had a while ago but I haven’t found a reason to bring it up so I’m just gonna do it now: once that intimacy starts he stops going to brothels and stops fucking servants, he can’t do it. He can’t do anything with anyone else. But this of course does eventually cause a bit of an issue because he’s a very sexual person.

Long story short, the first time he goes into subspace properly with you is after a few weeks of him not going to any brothels. He ends up taking an impromptu nap in your shared bed after he had spoken to you for a while and he wakes up so hard. He’s cuddled against your chest and grinding his hips down against your thigh and of course when he wakes he’s absolutely mortified.

But well, he’s been so good. Of course you’re going to help him.

You end up giving him a hand job, letting him hide against your shoulder as you slowly stroke him and he loses his little mind because it’s perfect.

That’s the first time he truly reaches subspace, and you can tell because he’s actually quiet. Usually he’s a babbler, always talking, never being able to stay still or silent, but now he’s relaxed back into your arms not making a single sound besides the occasional little whine when he breathes out. He cums with just a whisper of your name and then turns to nuzzle into your chest, his body completely devoid of tension.

(Side note: Aemond is the opposite, he’s loud in subspace, so so loud)

You get worried actually, because you’ve never known him to act like he is right then. But at the same time, he’s clearly happy?

When he recovers and finds the ability to speak again, you ask him if he’s alright and what can you do to help him and he just says he’s fine, he’s absolutely perfect in fact.

[geeky-politics-46]

"Q" for bucky barnes pls & thank ☺️

- @buckymorelikefuckme

I was really hoping for some Bucky asks! I don't write for him near as much as I would like to.

Q - Quiet please (what’s the volume like in the bedroom? are they quiet? do they scream? do they like a loud partner? do they prefer if their partner is more soft spoken?)

Bucky was never loud in bed before, but now, after everything he's been through, he enjoys making noise. He likes just letting go and not holding anything back. Whining and moaning to show you how good you're making him feel. Lots of cursing and pet names. He will even moan and swear when he's going down on you to show you just how much he is enjoying himself. He's discovered he really likes a bit of dirty talk. He loves telling you all the filthy things he wants to do to you. Giving you praise that's both sweet and naughty.

"Fuck babydoll, I couldn't stop thinking about your perfect pussy. Swear I've been hard since our last date."

"You have no idea what you do to me. I'm never letting you out of my bed again. You feel like you were made to take my cock."

He loves hearing you whimper, and he swears he's never heard a prettier sound than you moaning his name. Especially when you switch from calling him Bucky to calling him James. That's how he knows he's got you right on the edge of cumming. He never wants anyone to call him James ever again because he only wants to here you say it in that breathy way you do when he's pounding into you. He loves when he can make you actually scream his name loud enough that Steve has to come knock on the door telling you to be quiet because he can't sleep with the noise. It's at this point that Bucky loves to tease you that Steve actually just wants you to be quiet because your pretty little noises have gotten him hard and he hates that you aren't screaming his name instead. He'll tell you you're such a good girl for letting his best friend hear how naughty you are. That maybe you two should let Steve watch. When he feels you clench around his cock at that suggestion he'll growl and tease you even more about how needy you are.

Steve has asked Stark to soundproof Bucky's room multiple times to no avail, Bucky just sees that as a challenge and tries to make you scream louder. Tony thinks it's funny.

Picked this gif because you know he would play innocent to the noise complaints in front of everyone at first. Then back to trying to make you even louder behind closed doors.

[mxtantrights]

mob!bucky doesn't smile because it happened

It's been an interesting couple of days. And by interesting Bucky could use other adjectives. Several of which he won't say out loud or ever admit to feeling.

But one of those, the most important of those, being heartbreak.

Which doesn't make sense really. You had broken up with him so long ago, so quickly too. He always hated it. The fact that you broke up with him and he never knew the real reason why. He never got to fix whatever mistake he made.

When he got down on one knee and proposed to you in the middle of his office, he felt that heartbreak again. Partly because he was thinking of the past and also because he was thinking of the torn future too.

In another life he didn't have to take over the family business. In another life he and you were normal people working normal jobs. Maybe he would work in the bakery and you would be some hot shot lawyer. And you'd meet and it would be kismet and the rest would just fall into place.

But this isn't another life.

So when he proposed to you, like he was planning on doing in this life before you broke up with him, he felt his heart break just a bit more.

The only thing that pulls him out of his blue thoughts is the ringing that comes from his phone. He reaches inside the pocket of his suit and takes it out.

Natasha.

He accepts the call.

"Whatcha ya got?" he asks.

"I've got him in a secluded place. I'll drop a pin. Figured you'd want to hear what this rat has to say before I get rid of him." she answers.

Bucky groans, "I don't trust anything he says."

"I wouldn't either but..." she trails off.

"What is is Nat?"

Bucky leans forward on the table, his elbows against the hard surface. He pinches the bridge of his nose now. Unready for whatever hell Brock is trying to unleash now.

"It's about the fiancee."

-

You remove your headphone from your ears and look over at your door. You swore you heard a--

A series of knocks come from your front door. You tense. It could be Brock. It could be your dad. It could also be Bucky. Or maybe your friend Nicole who you haven't spoken a word to in a few days because you feel like you can't barley keep your head above water. So much so that you called out of work for the rest of the week.

You think for a second about pretending not to be home. Whoever it is would just go away.

"I know you're in there." a voice says.

You stiffen on the couch. They could be lying. Bluffing and waiting to hear you move around and actually confirm that you're inside. Maybe.

"It's Steve."

That confuses you the most. Out of everyone who could possibly be at your door, Steve Rogers wasn't a guess you had in your mind. You slowly make your way to the door. And then you peep through the hole to make sure it's actually him.

He looks different.

A beard. You've never seen the golden boy look so--rugged. You unlock the door and pull it open.

He stands tall, in a fairly casual outfit and his hair neatly combed back.

"Been a long time." you speak.

"I didn't think I'd see you again. Not after you broke his heart."

[lee-laurent]

Oceans Apart - John Marino

summary: leaving her entire life behind to go to utah was never her plan. but for john… who knows

wc: 1.8k

content: fluff, mentions of the trade :(, but mostly fluff! kissing, tiny bit of angst

notes: REQUESTED BY AN ANON!!!!! some love for johnny :) hope it's everything you imagined and more! keep requesting guys! i loveeee hearing your ideas and making them into realities !!

John just stared down at his phone in disbelief, hearing the general manager's voice on repeat in his mind.

"You've been traded to Utah."

Utah. He thought maybe it was all just a dream, he'd wake up to Alice rubbing his back and asking if he was okay. But no matter how many times he pinched himself, he wasn't waking up. He had been traded. He was moving across the country. Leaving everything he'd come to know in Jersey behind for a state that just got a fucking hockey team. What about Alice? She was the first person he had to tell, the first person whose opinion actually mattered.

God, how was he going to tell her? She was finally feeling comfortable in Jersey after moving from Pittsburgh and he was going to tear that all away from her-- a second time.

He leaned back on the couch, running a hand through his hair. The room around him felt like it was closing in on him, his mind miles away. Alice had always been so supportive, so understanding of the ins and outs of dating a professional hockey player. But this... this was different. Jersey wasn't the whole other side of the country when they left Pittsburgh. Utah was. This was a life-altering move. She'd have to fly to go home to see her family.

He picked up his phone again, staring at her name in his recent calls. Right under the general manager's name. How would she react? Would she be sad? Disappointed? He hated the idea of putting her through such a massive change. They had a good thing going in Jersey, a rhythm, a routine. She had her life, her work, her friends. And now, with a decision completely out of his control, he was taking that all away.

He decided not to call her. This wasn't something he should do over the phone. She deserved more than that. He would tell her in person, face to face, holding her hand in his. But that did mean he'd have to wait. He'd have to sit there and overthink it until she got home.

~~

The door clicked behind her as she stepped inside, her keys jingling as she threw them onto the counter. John looked up from the couch, his heart racing. Alice just smiled at him, the smile that he'd fallen so hopelessly in love with. The smile that made him feel like all in the world was right. Except tonight everything just felt wrong.

"You're home early, baby," she said, slipping off her shoes. "Dinner's on me tonight."

He tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. She was observant and she knew John like the back of her hand. They'd known each other for five years, been together for four. She could tell something was off. "What's going on?"

John shifted, playing with a loose thread on the couch. "Come sit with me for a minute."

She raised an eyebrow but didn't question him. She always trusted him to speak about things when he was ready, no matter how long it took. She settled next to him, tucking her legs under her and resting a comforting hand on his knee. She always did that--offering him comfort before he even had a chance to ask for it.

"I... I got a call today," he started slowly, earning a squeeze to his leg from Alice. "I've been traded."

It was the first time he'd spoken those words out loud and it made it all feel so much more real. Alice's eyes widened slightly, but she didn't say anything. She didn't need to. He could see the surprise flicker across his face. Her stayed on his knee, telling him that she was still there, that she was still listening.

"Utah," he added, watching her closely.

Her lips parted, and for a moment, John braced himself for the worst. Maybe she'd panic, maybe she'd cry, maybe she'd pull away and break his heart. But none of that happened. Instead, her brow furrowed in the way it always did when she was trying to understand something.

"Utah..." she echoed, almost as if she was seeing how the word felt on her tongue. "When would you go?"

"Soon," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Within the next few weeks, probably."

She didn't reply, her eyes searching his face. He wished he could read her mind, wished he knew what was going through her head at that moment. Finally, she spoke up again, her voice soft like a whisper.

"How are you feeling about it?"

Her question took him by surprise. He expected her to jump straight into the logistics of the whole thing. How would they make it work? What would it mean for them? But no. Her first thought was him, how he was coping with the situation. It shouldn't have shocked him like it did. That was just the kind of person Alice was. Always thinking about him, always putting him first.

"I don't know. I mean, it's a good opportunity, but... I- I don't want to drag you across the country. Especially to a city that just got a hockey team. I know you've got your life here, and this isn't what either of us planned."

Her hand slid from his knee to his hand, her fingers tangling with his. "John, you didn't drag me anywhere. And you won't be dragging me this time either," she squeezed his hand lightly. "This isn't your fault. This is just... life. It happens."

She wasn't mad. She wasn't upset. If anything, she only really cared about him and making sure that he wasn't upset or mad. She only wanted to know if he was alright.

"You're like actually okay with this?" he asked in disbelief.

She tilted her head like a confused puppy, her eyes soft and understanding. "I mean, am I like thrilled you're being traded to Utah? Not exactly. But you and I both knew this could happen. It's just part of your job, is it not? I knew what I was signing up for the second you told you played hockey."

John nodded, still flabbergasted by her calm demeanor. He had spent the last few hours stressing over how she'd react, only for her to be the one reassuring him.

"As long as we're together," she smiled, "we'll be okay. Utah, Pittsburgh, New Jersey, or wherever else life decides to take us. We are in this together, John."

John stared at her, his brain trying to process how he'd gotten so lucky. Trying to understand how fucking in love with her he was. He squeezed her hand, before bringing it up to press a kiss on her fingertips.

"I don't deserve you," he whispered, leaning to press his forehead against hers.

"Maybe not, but you're stuck with me anyway."

He closed his eyes, taking in the calming sound of her giggles. They sat there for a while, their hands intertwined. John could feel the warmth of her fingers against his, her thumb gently tracing shapes on the back of his hand.

"So," she started, leaning back on the cushions. "Utah, huh? I've never even been there. What's it like?"

John laughed, giving her a small shrug. "I'm not entirely sure. I've only been through it, never actually stopped there in the city."

"Well, I guess we're about to find out together, aren't we?"

He blinked, her words sinking in. Together. She had said it so casually, like it wasn't even a question to her whether or not she would go along with him. He had been so worried and for what? Alice was already on board--no hesitation, no second-guessing.

"You're really okay with this?" he asked again.

"John, I told you. As long as we're in this together, we can handle it. It's not about the location--its about us being together, no matter what," she brought her freehand up to cup his cheek. "I love you. And I'm not about to let a move change that."

"I love you too."

They fell into quiet conversation, both of them throwing out random ideas about what Utah might look like. Alice joked about how she might have to learn how to ski, and he laughed, picturing her tumbling over and laughing until he came to help. They talked about what kind of apartment they'd get, how they'd have to adjust to a new city, new routines, and new weather. Alice had never lived near mountains before, but she was making it clear she was excited, like it was a new adventure they'd take on together. That she was ready no matter how far she was from the East Coast.

"We'll have to find where the best coffee is there too," she giggled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "And maybe we can finally get a dog! Utah seems like a good place for dogs, right?"

John chuckled, kissing her forehead. "Yeah, a dog would be nice. I've been meaning to get a hiking person."

Her eyes lit up. "Hey! I'm a great hiking partner."

"Whatever you say, baby."

"But I bet there's some beautiful trails out there. We could make a whole thing of it! Go camping!"

"Camping?" he raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. "You barely survive a couple hours in the woods. What makes you think you can handle overnight?"

She gasped, swatting his arm. "Rude! I am tougher than you think!"

He laughed, pulling her onto his lap. She squealed in surprise but didn't resist, resting her head against his shoulder.

"I know you're tough. You're probably the strongest person I know. And I don't just mean in the 'surviving-the-woods' kinda way."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He brushed an eyelash off her cheek, his fingers lingering against the smooth skin. "You make everything feel easier, ya know? Like, I can handle anything as long as I've got you by my side."

She snuggled closer to his chest. "That's because we're a team. I'm not going anywhere that isn't with you, Johnny. No matter what."

He pressed his face into the crook her neck, peppering her with small kisses. He'd found someone that understood not only him but his career and the things that came along with it. She was willing to uproot her life, move across the country, all because she believed in their relationship. All because she loved him.

"What did I do to deserve you?" His voice was muffled against her skin.

"You just loved me. That's all I needed," she brought a hand up to run it through his curls.

John closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her nails against his scalp. Her response was simple, but true. There love was amazing, it made everything else fade into the background--the uncertainty, the distance, the unknowns. For the first time since getting the call, John felt at ease. They would figure this out, they always figured things out. They were together. And together was all they needed.

"You ready for anything, love?"

"Of course. Utah here we come."

[demonslayedher]

Nerdy cultural details about the Hashira

Some details can be hard to pick up without context or in translation. Here's a handful for fun:

Breath names:

The "Mushi" (蟲) of "Mushibashira" (蟲柱) does not necessarily mean "insect." It's also not the more commonly used "mushi" kanji (虫). Kanji is often formed with many components compounding together to make new meanings, and 蟲 is a crowd of three 虫. While it might be tempting to simply say that this is a whole bunch of 虫, I've also heard this described as 蟲 being the more abstract idea of the concrete 虫, or that 蟲 went through a resurgence in popularity shortly before the Taisho Period. 虫 is preferred nowadays for its simplicity.

In either case, it's not necessarily "insects." Rather than being limited to six-legged creatures, "mushi" is a catch-all term for many kinds of creepy-crawlies that simply do not fit in other categories of animals, so spiders and centipedes and worms are all part of it. Actually, the term was originally used for snakes!

Next, what are picturing when you hear "Stone Hashira"? Something in your hands that you can throw? A big stone to lay on for warmth after training in a waterfall?

You could think even bigger than that, because the "stone" kanji used is "iwa" 岩. This is usually something at least as big as the boulders Himejima pushes around to train with, but it could just as well be a whole cliff.

So then how about that issue raised about how you can never refer to "Flame Breath" as "Fire Breath"? This might be a review since it gets brought up a lot, but it's worth restating because it makes a lot of sense in context.

First, we have two kanji to work with: 炎 for flames, and 火 for fire. To make a long linguistic history short, Japan adopted written pictographic characters from China, smashed and smooshed them around to fit the spoken Japanese language, and eventually many kanji wound up with multiple pronunciations. Case in point, 炎 is "hono'o" in the context of Flame Breathing (Hono'o no Kokyuu), and "en" in the context of "Flame Hashira" (En-bashira).

火 likewise has multiple pronunciations, but a common one is "hi." Another simple kanji that can be read "hi" is 日, the sun.

Therefore, even if they are written differently, "Sun Breathing" and "Fire Breathing" would sound the same, as "Hi no Kokyuu." This also makes it easy for "Hinokami" to be construed as "Fire God" instead of "Sun God." But why stop there, really? If you want to get into older Japanese, sometimes phonetic "hi" was used in simple reference to the power of gods.

Symbolism:

This is still somewhat linguistic rather than symbolic, but you know how Sound Breath is derived from Thunder Breath?

It's worth pointing out that "Kaminari" (雷) in "Kaminari no Kokyuu" is in reference to the sound, as opposed to something like "Ikazuchi no Kokyuu" for "Lightning Breath" in reference to the sight. We can get really, really nerdy about Japanese words for thunder and lightning and how they relate to Kimetsu no Yaiba, so I already did that here.

What's more interesting to me in regard to Sound Breath is that it takes the "sound" concept of thunder and pushes it--this time with a bit of a firework motif, again in a way that would stress the sound instead of the dazzling light. Both Uzui and Zenitsu have exceptional hearing and are exceptional users of their Breath techniques, so this is either curious that a discerning sense of hearing might help, or ironic that they use such loud styles with their sensitive ears.

Moving on to snakes! There's really no shortage of serpent symbolism, so we'll just focus on a handful of examples. I have already written extensively about the positive associations snakes have with riches, especially white snakes. This is ironic, given Iguro's distasteful paste driven by riches.

Some of the other positive associations with snakes are that they are a water element animal on the geomancy system borrowed from China. Makes sense that this Breath would be derived from Water Breathing! There are many shrines dedicated to snakes and their gifts of rain and clean water, however, water can also be dangerous. A common interpretation of a major legend about an eight-headed giant serpent, the Yamata-no-Orochi, is that it symbolizes the destructive power of a flooded river. But hey, at least snakes are often equated to dragons for having the same water association, so that's pretty cool.

Setting aside the water association, the serpent itself can likewise be considered in negative lights. In the centuries leading up to the Taisho Period, it became commonplace in Buddhist teachings and entertainment to compare jealous women to snakes. This association with woman also adds another layer of cruel irony to Iguro's past.

On a happier note, let's move on to cherry blossoms!

Well, not always happy, seeing as they are known to scatter tragically soon (I am shaking my fist at you, Gotouge). Cherry blossoms are also heavy with all the directions you can go in with symbolism, and I don't have any particular take on why they are part of the overall motif of the Love Hashira (see here for a little commentary on why it is "Koi" 恋 and not "Ai" 愛).

However! I do want to point out something very clever Gotouge did!

You know how Mitsuri's hand guard looks like four hearts that all meet at their pointy ends? This is actually a traditional cherry blossom motif!! Not a very common one, which is why I find it so sly.

Personal Names:

Bear with me, this section will get slightly more speculative, as names are always up to interpretation. I should know, I've done a lot of that for this series.

Remember how kanji can be read in multiple ways? Here's something simple you'd see right away in Japanese but that gets lost in translation to most other languages. Both Sanemi and Genya have 弥 as the second character in their personal name (as "mi" or "ya"). This was not the case for all their siblings, but it's cute that the two of them share it anyway.

So what does it mean? In modern kanji dictionaries, it's pretty bland: "increasingly." However, this kanji has more interesting use and associations that that. It was originally 彌, which carries more of an image of a stretched bow, or how something might go wide and disperse. As a child's name, this might include some hope that they might grow big and tall and go to great places. It is also commonly used in expressing the names of Buddhist deities in Japanese, but it is used only for the "mi" sound instead of the meaning in these cases. (Still, 弥 is one of the "Namu Amida Butsu" characters all over Himejima's haori, which also adds a little cuteness to his associations with Genya.)

So how about someone else with a name that closely matches his brother's? We get a pretty good explanation of Yuichiro (有一郎) and Muichiro (無一郎), with 有 and 無 being opposites (to exist/to not exist). While 有 might be more straightforward in wishing for Yuichiro to have all his needs met, the "mu" in "muichiro" is for "limitless/infinity/etc, etc."

But also!!

It bares distinct resemblance to a common Zen phrase, "Honraimuichimotsu" (本来無一物), with "muichimotsu" meaning "nothing exists" (and therefore, you have nothing to worry about, just be happy).

Speaking of resemblances, "Tomioka Giyuu" has two kanji in common with the name of the mangaka of Hunter x Hunter and I sometimes wonder if he was named in homage. But that is neither here nor there, and I'll just finish today by focusing on "Giyuu" (義勇).

This is pretty basic and straightforward: "loyalty/justice" and "bravery/courage." Pretty lofty. Put them back together and it's basically a set term for "heroism."

However, put it together with other terms for squads or armies, and this is the now the word for "volunteer soldier" or "volunteer army." Historically, it would continue to be used a few decades after Kimetsu no Yaiba takes place, but the decades prior, there were "Giyuutai" organized volunteer troops as well. Perhaps Giyuu had ancestors who fought as volunteer soldiers? Who knows.

[zorosimpclub]

A new life – Toji Comfort (SFW)

⊹˚. ♡ Summary: In which Toji is hired to assassinate the reader but ends up comforting her instead.

⊹˚. ♡ Trigger warning: implied severely depressed reader, implied attempt, happy ending, comfort

⊹˚. ♡ Word count: 3.6k

⊹˚. ♡ Author's note: sorry I've been MIA – life is hectic, hope you're all okay! enjoy this angsty but happy ending comfort piece <3

“Toji Zenin. Handsome and knows it. Hired to assassinate me. Motivated solely by financial gain.”

She said out loud to him, sensing his presence behind her, not looking up from her glass.

"That's me, spot on."

The words that left his lips were low, calm, and coolly spoken. He had a habit of speaking with an even tone regardless of the circumstances or context. He had been standing there behind her, taking in every detail.

His words were short, but he took a moment to drink in her image before him. She wasn't just beautiful, she was breathtakingly gorgeous. Despite this, his eyes maintained a steady, unreadable demeanour as he answered her question without adding anything else.

She chuckled a little and motioned for him to sit down beside her, sliding a full glass of whiskey to him.

He paused for a brief yet significant moment before he slowly took a seat next to her. He took a sip from the glass of whiskey offered to him before he replied, "You sound rather nonchalant about the fact that I'm here to take your life."

“Mm. Yeah. Doesn’t really bother me.” She took a sip and looked ahead of her, watching a couple canoodling together. Couples made her sick. It was only a matter of time before one of them disappointed the other.

He took in her words and her mannerisms, his gaze shifting from her to the couple briefly, before he looked back at her with a raised brow, "I see... you really aren't fazed by the fact that I'm here to end you? You must be a very confident woman then."

“No. Just a woman who has nothing left to be here for.”

The quietness in the air was palpable as his eyes remained on her. It was a somewhat unexpected reply from her. His lips pulled into a thin line, and his eyebrows slanted down, his eyes becoming cold and sharp, but they quickly resumed their usual neutral expression. He took a drink from his glass, "You really have nothing left to exist for?"

“Nope.”

"Huh..." He spoke with a slight air of curiosity. But his tone quickly returned to its previous stoic state. "That's quite pitiful. Mind if I ask why?"

“So guy who hired you to assassinate me is actually my ex boyfriend. Well, he was married. And I found out. Turns out my 4 years with him was just a lie.” She downed her drink, it was bitter but not as bitter as her current reality.

"Ah, a typical married-man affair then." He said with a soft chuckle. He was only slightly amused by the situation. The fact that his mission was due to a failed relationship wasn't really worth his attention. He took another sip.

His eyes scanned her, taking in the way she was sitting, the way she had spoken... she clearly had a nihilistic attitude toward life. She was apathetic. Something about it was compelling. His head tilted slightly to the side without him realising it, as his eyes never broke away from her. He took a drink. "Tell me, miss..."

“(Y/N) Fushiguro.”

“That's a pretty name." He spoke in the same calm that he always does, but in her presence, he felt somewhat differently. Maybe it was due to her beauty, maybe it was due to her unusual attitude, eitherway, he was intrigued. The way she accepted her impending assassination was oddly intriguing to him.

"So... is this a habit of yours? Drinking, I mean.”

“Only when I find out my last 4 years of my life was a lie.” She chuckled dryly, swirling the cup in her hand… not taking any notice of the environment around her.

"So? You're still young. Your whole life ahead of you, yet you'd just willingly let it go..." He spoke with a hint of a sigh.

“And you? Your story I mean.”

His gaze remained on her, unwavering. "You're asking me about my story? Me?" The question took him by surprise, but it didn't take him long to answer it.

"Why should I divulge such details to you?" He spoke with a soft smirk.

“Because you look like you’re lonely.”

The words that she spoke were like daggers to his heart. They struck him right where it hurt. He was silent for a while, not responding, simply continuing to stare at her. It was difficult to find an appropriate answer without betraying his feelings and his emotions. Eventually, he responded, "And what made you believe that?"

"Your eyes, they look lonely." She said softly, treading lightly.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly. She was perceptive enough to notice the look of his eyes and interpret it as loneliness. But he wouldn't show that he was slightly touched by her words. He was silent, the only sound coming from him was the sound of his breathing.

Then he spoke with a slight grin, "Well, you're not entirely wrong. The eyes are indeed a window into one's heart..."

She smiled a little, she was breath taking, "That's true. So make it quick."

"Make what quick?" He smirked and raised a brow, his tone was mocking. "Are you telling me to assassinate you?"

"Precisely, that's what you're here for right?"

His grin only widens. "You're so calm about the fact that you're going to die... Do you have no desire to live at all?" He spoke the words in an aloof demeanor, but he was genuinely curious, something about her tugged at him. He could have just finished his mission and then walked away. It was good money too. But he just couldn’t for some reason.

She looked up at him emotionlessly, "I mean, there's nothing left for me."

"Hmmm... no fear... no attachments, no desire to keep living... not even a single bit of emotion." His eyes remained on her, analysing her, but his expression remained unchanged. He wondered how someone could be so apathetic.

"Are you?"

His eyes narrowed slightly, and a smile played at the edges of his lip, "Am I what exactly?"

"Happy?"

"Happy?" She caught him off guard with her word choice. His usual aloof demeanor cracked a little, and he let out a small chuckle.

"Ah, that word. I don't remember the last time I was truly happy, if ever. But no, in this moment, the answer is no."

She took his hand and placed it on hers. A look of surprise crossed his expression for a second before he looked back up at her. His eyes remained on her as his hand remained on hers, but neither of them spoke. A quiet tension filled the air.

"Toji was it? How about yourself?"

"Someone to live for?" He paused for a little before he continued. "Not anymore... At least that's what I say to myself." He chuckled dryly. "If you're asking me about my past, then yes, I did have someone to live for until I lost them."

"Then you know what it feels like." She said softly, looking into the distance.

He didn’t speak. His words were true, and he could empathise with her situation. Though, there were many differences between her and him, but their pain was one and the same. He remained still, thinking for a second, not breaking contact as his hand remained on hers.

"Would you want things to end?"

It was a bold question coming from her. No one had ever asked him something like that. Not like his answer would make a difference, but he would answer truthfully eitherway. He shifted his weight, but his hand didn’t leave hers, "Sometimes... yeah."

In her presence, he felt a strange comfort. It was unusual for him, and it was quite unexpected. But still, he felt at ease with her next to him. A light warmth washed over him, and for a brief moment, the loneliness he always felt was diminished. The silence between them continued for a while, the only sounds were their quiet breathing.

He couldn’t deny that he was somewhat broken. A loneliness that had been with him for most of his life, the pain of loss that ate at his heart, the despair that he felt on a daily basis, they were all slowly eroding him. She was broken, too, he could tell that much. The thought made him somewhat sad, knowing all that had happened to her.

"What are we but two souls that are lost?" She whispered, her voice trembling slightly.

He watched as she calmly drank her drink, taking in every movement she made. Though his response had been slow and hesitating, he felt something stir within him at her suggestion.

"You know..." He spoke after a few moments, "There are many things that we don't know. How life would play out, if we would be truly happy... or would our lives end up worse off."

She traced his lip scar, "You... this has a dark story, doesn’t it?”

The touch of her fingernails running against his scar only gave him goosebumps. She was right in guessing that his scar was the product of the pain he endured from his clan. He didn't say a word, but from the slight tightening of his jaw, it revealed the truth without the need for words.

She stroked it gently and smiled, her smile not reaching her eyes. He didn't pull away, but his expression held a touch of surprise. They had only known for each other for a short time, yet her action had caught him off guard. His hand squeezed hers in response, his gaze never leaving hers.

"Goodbye, Toji." She whispered and got up, pulling on her jacket weaving in and out of partygoers to leave the bar.

He was frozen in his seat, his mind trying to make sense of her last words. It didn't take him long to reach the conclusion that those were her final words. But he wouldn't let her simply go without trying to show her that live was worth living. He doesn’t know why he cared or why he quickly dashed after her, rushing through the streets to search for her. But he did.

She stood by the bridge, overlooking the city. Watching as the streetlights twinkled softly in the distance, the wind blowing through her wispy hair.

He soon found her by the side of the bridge. He slowed his pace as he approached her from behind, trying to gauge the situation. He could tell that she was standing near the bridge with one goal in mind.

"Wait..."

She turned to him, "Toji?"

His eyes remained on her as her gaze locked with his. "Your last words... they were goodbye."

"You figured it out, huh?"

"I'm not letting you give up." He responded softly, his voice holding a hint of determination. He took a few steps forward and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, his breath catching slightly.

"...Why? Doesn't this make your job easier?"

"Easier?" His voice contained a touch of disbelief. "That's what you think? That it's all about a job?" He sighed, his grip tightening around her shoulder. "You're a person, just like me... a human being. And I would be a terrible person, if I just stood by and let you... throw it all away."

She chuckled dryly, "You're a hired assassin."

"Even an assassin has a heart." The hand on her shoulder remained firm, and he looked right into her eyes, his gaze intent. "And as a person with a heart, I could never stand to watch you give up like this."

He saw a glimpse of her inner torment as the quivering of her lips suggested she was trying to hold back her emotions. He felt pity and sadness for her. But there was only one thing that he could do in that moment. He silently brought his index finger to her lips and gently traced it against them. Slowly, his touch lingered as his finger stayed there for a couple of seconds before he withdrew it. "Don't."

As his finger ran against her lips, her heart skipped a beat, and she could feel something stir within her. A surge of adrenaline rushed through her system, stirring excitement and something else she couldn't quite define. A strange feeling rose within her heart, and for a brief moment, she felt her chest grow tight as she tried to breathe. In that singular act, he had broken the ice between them. It was only a touch of a stranger, but it felt like so much more.

"I have no where left to go... no money to my name...this is easier."

The words had caught him off guard, and he felt a strange twinge of concern and sadness as his eyes remained on her. She sounded... so hopeless. Without a trace of hesitance, he stepped forward, his body filling the gap between them. His hands gently rested on her shoulders, and he looked into her eyes. He was close, very close to her, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he spoke quietly once again, his voice containing a hint of urgency. "You have me."

"You don’t even know me.”

"A stranger can become a companion, and maybe even more." He spoke softly, his gaze never leaving hers. "Let me be the person by your side. I'll give you a reason to try and live..."

She looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes, "Why would you do that for me...?"

“You're deserving of love.” He said simply enough, his hold on her shoulder tightening. "You're broken and hurt, but I don't see you as a pathetic, nobody has been. I see a person, a human being who's suffered too much in her life. And you deserve to be loved, cared for, and cherished."

Her breath hitched as she searched his eyes for deception, but she couldn't find any.

He was being truthful. Every word that he had spoken was sincere. He didn't see her as pathetic in any way. He saw her for who she was... a human.

"And even though we met for just a short while, I feel a connection between us. I feel it in my gut and in my heart that you and I have much more to give each other. You're not alone anymore. I'm here...."

He instinctively wrapped his arm around her and he felt her body pressed against his own as she hugged him close. He was taken aback by her embrace as he hadn't felt another body this close to his in years. Gentle sobs eminated from her chest as she buried herself into his, allowing his warmth to comfort her. He allowed the embrace to continue, and the longer she stayed within his arms, the more his heart raced.

He could feel himself becoming attached to her, but he didn't mind.

A sudden snowflake brushed her cheeks, and they both looked up to see the lone one softly flutter down to the ground. The night sky was filled with a soft flurry of snow, and the view was breathtaking. His eyes stayed locked on the falling snowflakes, fascinated with their beauty and graceful movements. As his gaze slowly moved back to hers, he noticed the small droplets of moisture on her cheek. He gently brushed them away with the pad of his thumb, and their faces remained close to each other, his heartbeat increasing with every passing moment.

"I..." She trailed off, looking into his eyes defeated by her own thoughts.

He remained silent and kept watching her with a slight smile on his lips, his eyes never leaving her own. The snowfall slowly increased in its intensity, covering the ground in a white blanket, and a gentle wind danced around them. The night sky was beautiful, and their small, intimate moment felt like time itself had stopped. The tension and excitement were building in the air, and his heartbeat was steadily growing faster, his breath coming in a little short.

"I want to live..."

His own heart jumped with joy at her words, and he closed the gap between them. He embraced her once again and pulled her close to his chest. His hand tightened around her shoulder, and he spoke softly, his voice tinged with emotion.

"Then live..." He gently brushed the tears off her cheeks and looked straight into her eyes, his gaze intent and unwavering.

His breath brushed her own, and his other hand moved from her shoulder to the base of her neck, fingers grazing it ever so gently. Then, the lightness of their breaths suddenly grew heavier, as if their breathing was in sync with each other. He remained so close to her that he could feel the heat of her body against his own. His gaze never leaving hers, their eyes locked and their lips mere inches apart.

As the space between them finally closed, the moment exploded with a powerful shock. It was as if, in that single instant, the tension that had built between them, the excitement, and the buildup of their breath, all released in an intense burst. They had finally come together, their lips finally meeting in a fiery, passionate kiss. Their mouths entwined, their tongues intertwined, their breathing intertwined, and their hearts beat as one. The intensity of their kiss only grew as they remained locked in it, their breath becoming faster and more frenzied as the moment intensified.

"Did you...feel that too?"

"...Yes," he replied with a breathy voice, still coming down from the incredible high of their kiss. The nearness of her skin still lingered in his senses, and his heart continued to beat at a rapid pace. "I felt it..." His eyes remained locked on hers, his gaze not faltering. "I felt it all.."

His gaze remained locked on hers. They shared a silent moment between them, their eyes remaining connected as they were still processing the sudden rush of emotions from their kiss. The tension was palpable in the air, as if they were still bound by that powerful surge of emotions from moments ago. He saw her mouth open slightly, as if trying to say something...

She smiled a little, "Looks like you failed your mission."

A smirk tugged on his lips, and his gaze softened slightly when she smiled. "Failed?" He asked, his tone now filled with a hint of amusement.

"Yeah, you were hired to assassinate me, yet instead you took me into your life."

"And I don't see that as a failure," he replied, his voice becoming softer and more vulnerable. "On the contrary, in my book," he added, his voice picking up a teasing tone again. "I'd say this was a remarkable success."

“Take me home…”

"Home?" he asked softly, his voice tinged with surprise. Then a sly grin appeared on his lips, and his arms tightened around her. "Okay..." He paused and added, "But there are conditions.”

"What conditions?"

He pulled her slightly closer as she shifted her body, resting her head on his shoulders. He looked at her for a moment and spoke softly, his breath soft on her skin. "One..." he started, his voice slightly rumbling. "You must promise to never give up to this world. Never let anyone or anything take away your worth. Always believe in yourself. And... never, ever give in to despair..."

"The second condition..." he continued softly, his breath still light on her skin as his thumb continued the soothing gesture, gently wiping away her tears. "Is that you must give yourself a chance. Give life another shot."

He let out a small breath, relieved that he had gotten her to agree to give herself another chance. “The last condition…” he started, and as he spoke, he felt the tension grow once again, the excitement palpable in the air.

The snow gently coated the ground around them as the silent night carried only the sound of the flakes slowly falling down, the silence only momentarily interrupted by their breath. “Is that…” he paused and cleared his throat, making sure to find the right words, “you must promise to let me guide you. To let me protect you. To let me try and love you…”

She felt her tears well up again. His grip on her shoulder tightened again as he felt her body tremble with the sudden urge to cry. He knew the words had hit home for her, and he felt a surge of protective fondness for her, his thumb gently stroking her cheek where the tears were running down. It was a tender gesture, and his eyes remained on her.

"Don't," he whispered softly, his tone carrying a hint of concern. "No more tears..."

She grinned as he wiped her eyes, "A new life."

"A new life," he repeated with a smirk, and his hands moved to run through her hair, letting his fingers drift down to brush her cheeks, and his gaze never left her own, still locked onto her eyes.

"Together." he added softly.

The night was still, and every sound had grown quiet around them, as if the world had stopped to witness this intimate moment. The snow continued its silent descent, covering them in a white blanket as the atmosphere grew heavy. His fingers remained on her cheeks, his gaze never leaving her eyes.

His heartbeat was a steady thump in his chest, his chest moving slightly with each breath. Their lips were just mere inches away, their breaths brushing against each other just slightly. Each moment seemed to stretch out infinitely as their eyes remained locked on each other.

[happy74827]

Lucas Lee x reader fluff✨️ I'm sad there isn't a lot of fanfics of this himbo..

Tough Guy

[Lucas Lee x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: When Lucas Lee confronts you and a friend on set, things take a turn for the worst.

WC: 1894

Category: Fluff, Protective!Lucas

Honestly, I’m sad there’s not a lot of fanfics with any of the exes. Gideon seems to be the most popular out of the bunch, but even then he’s still low and the other 6 deserve a lot more hype.

But, anyway, this anon was so real for requesting Lucas because I absolutely adore him (the series did him SO RIGHT). So, hopefully, I did him right here too :)

『••✎••』

“Hey, Bucko!”

You turned around at the sound of that voice. It was loud and obnoxious, as usual, but you could never help but grin when you heard it.

That was, after all, the voice of Lucas Lee.

Lucas Lee was your current colleague on set. He was in the big leagues, an A-lister, a celebrity. The two of you had only just met a few weeks ago, and since then, you had both taken quite a shine to one another.

It wasn't surprising to you. You have always had a way with people, especially famous ones. Maybe it was your personality. Or maybe you were just so used to them by now that nothing fazed you anymore. You were currently on set for a new movie, and you had already worked on two other movies and one TV series with big names before this.

But Lucas Lee? Oh, he was different.

Maybe it was because you were the same age. Maybe it was the fact that he had such an easygoing personality.

Maybe it was how hot he was.

Yeah, he was totally hot. You didn't like to admit that. It was embarrassing and cliché and unprofessional and-

No, who were you kidding? You totally thought Lucas Lee was hot.

It was hard not to, really. The way he smiled, the way he talked, the way his eyes seemed to be laughing even when his mouth was. Not to mention, the boy was tall and buff as hell. You had no idea what kind of workouts he did, but they were definitely paying off.

You were so engrossed in your thoughts you didn’t realize how he stormed over to you and your friend until he was standing right in front of you, hands on his hips.

"Um, hi," you said, smiling shyly at him.

He didn’t bat an eye towards you. Instead, he looked down at your friend. "Is there… a problem here?" he asked.

It was then you noticed his posture, how he was practically towering over your friend, who was now shrinking back, trying to look small.

You frowned.

What was going on?

"Well, I-" your friend started, but he was immediately cut off.

"Listen, dude, I'm a professional, you know," Lucas said, a dangerous tone to his voice. "I've been doing this for years, and I don't appreciate a little no-name rookie trying to hammer down on my girl like that."

"Wait, what?" you said.

"Your... girl?" your friend said.

You and your friend glanced at each other before looking back up at Lucas, confused.

Lucas, though, didn't seem to notice the looks on your faces or how you had spoken.

“You don't think I know your type? Harassment. That's what it is. Harassment pure and simple. And it's not gonna fly, you hear me? You've been warned."

You looked at him, your eyes wide, and your mouth open, too, but nothing came out. You had no idea what the hell was going on.

And then, you watched as your friend took a step forward. "Wait a second, dude. I wasn't harassing her," he said. "She's my friend, I was just helping rehearse some of her lines—”

Lucas interrupted him. "You were touching her arm."

"I was just—"

"And she was looking down."

"Yeah, but—"

"She was obviously uncomfortable!"

“Actually, I wasn’t…” You tried to say something, but no one heard you.

"Dude, she wasn't looking down. She was looking at the script!"

"So, what? Are you calling her a liar?"

Lucas was glaring at your friend. His expression was fierce, and his muscles were tense, his fists balled up tightly. He looked like he was ready to punch someone. It was a scary sight, to say the least.

You could feel the tension in the air, and your stomach twisted in knots. This wasn’t good.

Your friend, though, didn't back down. He stood up straighter, looking Lucas in the eyes.

"I'm not calling anyone a liar," he said calmly. "I'm just saying that maybe you should check your facts before you accuse someone."

Lucas growled.

"Listen, punk," he said, jabbing a finger into the other man's chest. "I have a reputation to uphold, you know. People rely on me. I've got fans. I can't afford to let people like you ruin things for me. So, why don't you just take a hike, alright?"

"What are you gonna do if I don't?" your friend challenged, and your stomach sank.

Shit.

"Guys, come on. Let's just—"

"What did you just say to me?"

You knew Lucas had a temper; you’ve seen it once before on set—valid reasons, of course. You understood where it came from, and you understood his passion for what he did. But still, his temper was scary, and it didn’t help to notice he was even angrier than usual now.

"Lucas, listen," you started, placing a hand on his shoulder. "He didn't mean it like—"

You gasped as Lucas shoved your friend hard.

"Lucas!"

The shove made your friend fall back, landing on his butt. It was quite ironic, really, considering his height. He wasn’t small by any means, and yet Lucas had just made him look like a small child.

Still, it was a sight you were not happy to see.

"What are you doing?!” You practically screamed at him. “Are you insane?!"

"Stay out of this," he said, not taking his eyes off of your friend. "This is about honor. Respect.”

“Respect… I— What?!” You sputtered, completely baffled.

Your friend had gotten to his feet, looking absolutely pissed. He took a step forward, glaring daggers at Lucas.

"You're gonna pay for that, you bastard!" he spat, and Lucas smirked.

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try."

“Alright, enough! That's it!"

You stepped in between the two men, blocking them from each other's view. Your arms were spread wide, and your eyes were darting between the two.

"Both of you are being idiots!" you yelled. "Lucas, why are you acting like a caveman? And you, I can't believe you're stooping to his level!"

"I'm the idiot? What about him?" your friend pointed an accusatory finger at Lucas. "He's the one who started this whole thing."

"Oh, sure, blame me, why don't ya," Lucas sneered.

"Both of you, shut up!"

They both turned their attention to you.

"Look," you said, sighing. "I'm sorry, but this is completely ridiculous. Lucas, why did you even go after him? What was that about?"

"Yeah, why'd you do that?" your friend echoed, a smug look on his face.

Lucas huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's none of your business."

"Yes, it is," you argued. "You attacked my friend, Lucas."

"I wasn't attacking anyone. I was just defending your honor."

"Honor?"

Your friend scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Right. That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

Lucas glowered at him. "Watch it, buddy. I'll deck you again."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"GUYS!"

Both men stopped, turning to look at you.

You glared at the both of them.

"You," you pointed at Lucas. "Need to learn how to keep your cool. This was totally uncalled for. And you," you pointed at your friend. "You need to learn how to walk away from an argument. You're not a little kid. Don't let him bait you like that. Okay?"

You waited for them to answer, but neither of them spoke. They just kept looking at you.

Finally, Lucas was the first to speak.

"Okay," he mumbled, his voice low.

"Yeah, whatever," your friend replied.

You let out a sigh and placed a hand on your hip.

"Good," you said. "Now, Lucas, can you explain to us why you went after my friend?"

You saw his hesitation. He was shifting his weight from foot to foot, and his hands were balled up in tight fists.

"Well..."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "Well?"

He looked at the ground, kicking his foot against the floor. The skateboarder in him was showing, you noted.

“I was over there, drinking my coffee, and I heard what you were talking about, and I thought you looked uncomfortable, and I... I guess I just lost my cool, alright?"

Your friend looked at him, confused.

"Wait, you were eavesdropping on us?"

"I wasn't eavesdropping!"

"That sounds like eavesdropping to me."

"You little-"

"Lucas, stop," you snapped, and the blond stopped, glaring daggers at your friend.

Your friend just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, dude," he said, shaking his head.

"Lucas, look," you said, placing a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it soothingly. He seemed to relax under your touch, and you felt a surge of pride.

"I appreciate you standing up for me," you continued. "But you can't do stuff like this. Okay? It's not right. You could get in trouble or, worse, fired."

He scoffed at that but nodded. "Yeah, right," he said.

"I'm serious," you said. "If something like this happened, you could be kicked off the project. And then what would we do? Who'd play the lead role with me?”

He didn’t say anything. He just looked at you, his blue eyes boring into yours. There was something unreadable in them, and it made you nervous.

"Lucas?"

He sighed and looked away. "I know, I know," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Promise me you won't do anything like this again."

"I promise."

You smiled and patted his shoulder.

"Good."

"What about me?" your friend piped up. "Am I free to go now?"

"Yeah, whatever," Lucas waved him off.

Your friend glared at him.

"Whatever," he mocked and turned on his heel, leaving the two of you alone.

Lucas watched him go before turning his attention back to you. His blue eyes were bright, and his lips were curled in a small smile.

"I'm totally hotter than him anyway. No competition," he said, his voice low and husky. It made you chuckle.

“Well, that's debatable," you replied, giving him a sly wink.

"Maybe a black eye would fix that," his tone gave it away that it was a joke, but his body language said otherwise. He was tense, and his knuckles were white.

"Lucas," you warned.

He held up his hands in defense.

"I'm joking, I'm joking," he said. "Don't worry. I'll leave the guy alone."

"Good."

"In my defense, it really did look like he was bothering you. I wasn't totally crazy."

You laughed. "No, you were. Totally crazy. You know, they say you're the cool, collected, bad boy of the big screen, but I don't know. You're more like the hotheaded, passionate, and protective bad boy of the big screen. Or even the small screen. Whatever the case, you're not exactly what the media paints you to be."

Lucas shrugged.

"It's the same old, same old," he said. "People always seem to be so fascinated with me. I can't blame em', really. I'm a pretty interesting guy."

"Oh, yes, definitely. The most interesting man in the world."

"See? You know it."

The two of you laughed, and the tension that had been hanging in the air was now gone.

You were glad. It had been an awkward moment, for sure, and you would have to make sure your friend didn’t sue Lucas since that could get the production on halt or even canceled. But it was over now, and all was well.

For now, at least.

[random-non-shower-thoughts]

Write with your heart, edit with your inner critic and ears

My last two post have been more from the heart, but I think more people need actual editing advice like I have talked about in a previous thought post. Like I said there, plenty of teachers and professors have no issues talking about writing and formulating and drafting works. I only know of one professor over all my years of writing that I can recall with 99% certainty that taught us useful tips for editing.

And I will say that like writing, there's no one size fits all, because nobody writes the same as anyone else--or even themselves as they hone and improve their skills. A lot should be based on what vibe you want to create and what is needed for the work/chapter/draft you are focusing on.

But if nothing else, there's three things you want to focus on:

Spelling and punctuation as fitting for the message you want to convey

Formatting to make it readable and to improve the message

And most importantly: READING THE WORK ALOUD BEFORE PUBLISHING

The last one is what I don't see talked about enough, and was reminded by a community post recommended for me (I will never follow them, they're impossible to share and most seem like a waste of time), so I decided to expand on it in a more shareable format.

(Note: I believe that doing this with your own voice or text to speech are equally helpful. Sometimes you want to go at your own pace and use voices. Maybe you have to have another voice to notice things. Both work to reach the same goal of polishing your writing!)

I am going start by saying that there's times when you can tell a piece could have used an extra pass by how it reads. There's often weird turn of phrases and spelling that is not obtrusive but makes you pause (and I will be the first to say I want readers to tell me if they catch these for whatever reason, even the less error prone machine still lets flecks of misspellings and pebbles of forgotten commas). The missing period that makes two sentences become a long run-on sentence that technically makes sense.

The editing is on the surface sufficient, but missing a last pass that could buff out a final draft and have you read it later when more experienced with pride. And without asking why you forgot something so obvious, or why you worded it that way. (I love looking at outstanding line from old works, I often laugh at how even my spicy stuff can have a raw scene outside of the bedroom).

One of the best ways I found, after formatting and spellchecking and double-checking the right words are used, is to give it a final read out loud! Yes, I can understand that you might ask why it has to be out loud when you already went over it so many times, and the editing software and you not say it's fine. And that's exactly why. Things that a computer might say is good might not be the right wording for the story. You might have changed something to get the sentence to make sense but it ruined the actual mood, or you added something that is out of character. An extra adjective you thought worked didn't actually fit and you forgot to hit delete. There's so many times I have changed something because I wasn't satisfied with the flow and just didn't backspace enough during a much earlier draft and it slipped through till the final pass while I read it aloud.

Or--and this is a big one for me--reading it out loud made me realize that it won't work at all. Not due to anything technical or because the section makes no sense. Just something about having it spoken out loud awakens my inner critic to an issue I didn't notice until now. A whole paragraph might finally show it can be cut and make a transition easier. A sentence might be deleted because it was more distracting fluff and I see it should be deleted (no matter how nice it worked in my head). Or if not gone, it was in the wrong spot. Now I have to read it out loud, word by word, I can paste a section in a better place and change the whole flow.

I've seen people talk about how they use text to speech to see if something goes on for too long and know when to stop by how it starts to distort it's voice to keep going. You can do the same too.

By reading aloud, you'll at last understand the readers' plight of flowery purple prose by struggling to catch your breath. Suffer while the TTS malfunctions from you using too many adjectives about the MC in the mirror. See if maybe you can change that comma or em dash into a period or semicolon. Play with different voices and see if that fanfic about your favorite character sounds OOC or you are really that good at getting inside their head. See how the words fit as you get a fresh perspective, watching them fall into place like puzzle pieces while observing how each flows like a poetic melody.

It is all experience for when you write that next chapter or work. Sure, it's not as intense as typing it all out, but it's not like you're not learning from it. Editing is writing too; what you master here can translate to better writing next time, and a cleaner first draft in the future. (Like I've said before, you'll never have a perfect first draft, but you can write a clean first draft to make it easier for yourself.)

Just remember, writing is supposed to be as good as you are today, and never a suffering contest. Not every aspect of it will be exciting but do not force yourself to make it more difficult than you can handle. If I am miserable, I am not creative, and this is true for so many; and if anyone tells you that makes someone a fake/poser/imposter, ignore them. If they like being sad to write a depressed and angsty character, that is their method alone. Editing does not have to be a slog, but it should be something you put effort in to so the final product is something you are proud of.

Listen to the fun writing voice when you are outlining and writing, and unleash the inner critic when you edit. Both are there for a reason.

[dgttwisted]

prankSTAR!!✨✨✨

Hayeli from @mellosdrawings and Akanda & Akedya form @rakiah

Hayeli, Akanda an Akedya sit at the lunch table disgussing something very very important.

"Listen up we've decided to add to our ranks!"

"currently there is three of us that's an odd number aka bad luck"

"i have enough of that as is we don't need to add to it, you brought this up which means you two already have someone in mind don't you?" Hayeli says already mimicking there movements

"hehe~" they both laughed

"indeed we do~ take a look behind us"

on the table behind the twins Lilith was eating mac & cheese with Grim.

"Grim would be funny but isn't he prone to lighting most things on fire?"

"no no not Grim Lilith!"

"the child? Vil mentioned her once hmm what was it he said? well if i can't remember it's probably not important, anyway isn't she rather young to be a prankster?"

"no way thats the perfect age to start! we started as pranksters at a young age, just think by the time she is our age Lilith could be a master prankster"

"kids are very impressionable we butter her up an the skies the limit!"

"i see what you mean but what about Grim? I've heard he's very protective of his 'henchmen' as he calls her"

"don't worry we already have a plan for him!"

"a prank to start off this prank adventure!"

---

Akanda & Akedya preemptively bought cans of tuna an put them in a spaced out line that lead right back to ramshackle. surely no one would actually fall for this-

Grim started tracking the cans down immediately ditching Lilith.

"looky what we have here~" Akanda, Akedya and Hayeli circle Lilith in a teasing manner though not a malicious one.

"i believe it is our new up coming prankstar!!"

"it's the Aka's"

"oh does though already know of our reparation!?" this could put a wrench in there plan.

"no we've never spoken but Vil mentioned you before....sorry i can't pronounce your name right"

"fear not little star drop!" Hayeli says with all the enthusiasm one could have talking to a 7 year old. "names shames thats not important right now whats important is that like my friends have just said we've come to help you become the best prankster ever!"

"prankstarrrr prankst....." Lilith furrowed her brow she was trying to say it right "Prank-ster!" the three of them clapped when she said it right

"i don't know what that is"

"that is why we're here! to show you the way!"

"we promise you will have a blast!"

"that's right a bunch of fun, you like having fun don't you?"

"yes of course! who doesn't!?"

hook line an sinker they got there prize Lilith now the pranking has started. or at least that was there plan just some innocent pranks.

---

"this first prank is an easy one!" they hand Lilith a sliced lemon "ok squeeze this lemon into that students drink when he's not looking!"

"why?"

"...it will be funny trust us"

"I'll try!" Lilith walked over the student couldn't really not notice her

"can i help you?"

Lilith froze for a second "um your not supposed to look!"

Akanda, Akedya and Hayeli all collectively face palmed

the student chuckled a bit an playfully covered his eyes an Lilith squeezed the lemon into the drink. "ok im done thank you!" as she walked off the students friend told him what happened he still drank it anyway after all he wanted to make Lilith happy for trying.

"i did it!"

"....."

"...."

"...."

"did i do something wrong?"

"nya? no you did fine...uh lets try something else!"

they moved to the next location

"ok this will be another easy one are you ready?"

"yes!" she still pumped even though she doesn't quite understand how pranks are supposed to work.

"this corner is famous so many blind spots even rook avoids it! when you hear someone coming jump out an make the loudest noise you can think of!" this time they weren't expecting anything crazy but there was no way to fail such an easy prank.

Lilith waited by the corner patiently hearing footsteps draw closer she jumped out "BOO!" the man in question shrieked so loud it scared Lilith she lost her balance an fell over.

the man in question was idia, the Twins an Hayeli were giving Lilith thumbs up. Lilith got back up an went over to idia "are you hurt? it was supposed to be an easy prank!" she wasn't supposed to say that part out loud

"o-oh u-h good job? i-" before Idia could finish his sentence Akanda grabbed Lilith an ran though it was so fast Idia couldn't processes who it was.

---

"this prank is a bit hardcore an you'll need one of us to help you but if we pull it off it'll be the best nya~"

"no ones gonna get hurt this time?"

"nope! promise!"

Lilith hold out her pinkie the twins were staring blankly for a moment not sure why she was doing that. Then Hayeli lifted out his pinkie an shook Lilith's.

"promise~"

Lilith beamed "ok!! what are we doing!?"

---

Lilith an Hayeli snuck into Leona's room as the Twins were in a vantage point to be look outs. the plan was easy tie a bucket of water to the door an water would rain on Leona when he came in.

"looks pretty high up"

"don't worry ive been practicing!" before Hayeli could ask what she meant Lilith started thinking happy thoughts start to glow an float up.

"looks like you didn't need me after all-"

"um....i don't know how to tie knots"

"oh uh give me a sec Kaleidoscope Divine~" Hayeli started glowing an floating just like Lilith though just before he could even start to do the tie the door swung open but instead of a splash of water the bucket full of water slammed into Leona's head.

you would think Hayeli was in track in field with the speed he grabbed Lilith an ran leaving trails of dust behind him. the twins met up with him an they met over behind Sams shop.

"why did we go here?"

"we need to bribe her with sweets so she doesn't snitch"

Lilith is in shock she couldn't fully processes everything that had occurred though while the twins an Hayeli were trying to hatch a plan a shadow covers Lilith.

"OI!" the voice made Lilith look up it was her worst fear at that moment it was Leona holding an ice pack to his head "what do you have to say for yourself herbivore!"

"...waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!" Lilith started uncontrollably crying "I-I-I'M SORRRRRYYYYY WAAAAAAAAAA"

"OI I'm the one whose injured here don't start crying!"

Akanda, Akedya and Hayeli were slowly stepping back trying not to make noise. though backed right into the chest of the last person they needed to see that day.

"just where do you think you three are going?" it was Vil undenounced to them it wasn't just Leona who had spilled the beans on there shenagins but Grim an Idia to. "if i recall i asked you three to never involve Lilith in your trouble she is far to sweet for the pranks you pull"

Hayeli smacks his fist into his flat palm "OOOOH thats what you said!" he knew he'd remember eventually.

Hayeli, Akanda an Akedya got detention an Lilith had a 5 minute time out an had to write an apology letter to Leona.

[oliversrarebooks]

Have you considered what Oliver would be like as a vampire? I think he would be nice, with an aura like when you’re all cozy in bed and don’t have to get up, you can just enjoy the coziness. Treating any thrall he picked up with respect and intelligence, like a student and their favorite teacher.

Masterlist

September 1925 - In another universe...

TW: mind control, hypnotic induction

Pines Rare Books and Curiosities was probably Lex's greatest find since he'd arrived in the city.

It was a tiny shoebox of a store in a run-down district, but every single inch was packed with the most unusual and fascinating books. Not only did Mr. Pines stock hard to find imported books and gorgeous editions of classics, but many eclectic volumes of the kind Lex would never find in his university's library. Books on vampires and werewolves, on witchcraft and magic, on alchemy and sorcery and divination.

Lex was starting to suspect that the nervous-looking, unassuming proprietor might actually be a wizard.

"Good evening, sir," said Mr. Pines -- he always called Lex 'sir' when greeting him, even though Lex was barely twenty and Mr. Pines must be at least a decade older. "Is there anything in particular you're looking for?"

Lex felt a bit guilty about spending so much time in the shop and only occasionally buying anything, but Mr. Pines didn't seem to mind. If anything, he encouraged the company, offering books he thought Lex might enjoy and even allowing him to sit in one of the plush chairs behind the counter to read. Lex couldn't resist, drawn to the books and the comfortable chair and the always-roaring fireplace like a moth to the flame. It was such a peaceful retreat from the loud commotion of campus life.

There was a strange look in Mr. Pines' eye as he pulled something from behind the counter. It was a notebook bound in blue leather with no title on the front. "If you don't mind..." he said. "I've been working on writing some stories of my own. I'd like some opinions on them, and I know you have a discerning taste in literature."

"You want me to read your stories?" said Lex, surprised. "Well... I suppose I'd be happy to." Just because Mr. Pines was smart and well-spoken was no guarantee that his writing would actually be good, but Lex felt flattered that he'd asked, and it was the least he could do considering how often he used the bookshop as a sanctuary.

"Then please, have a seat," said Mr. Pines, gesturing to one of the plush chairs near the fire. "I do appreciate the help."

Lex took the notebook and settled himself down. The fire was warm as usual and smelled especially nice today. "What's that scent from the fire, Mr. Pines?"

"Oh, I added dried herbs tonight. The weather has been gloomy, so I thought some nice calming herbs would improve the mood."

Lex took a deep breath. It was so relaxing in the bookshop, as though he could simply let his cares melt away. The notebook had beautiful creamy paper that was satisfying to touch, and Mr. Pines had written out his story in neat script that was easy to read. Before long, Lex was starting to be engrossed in it.

The story followed a vampire, alone and starving in the city after his sire had died, fighting his urges to drink from humans even as he was haunted by the threat of starvation. While it was a straightforward plot, the way it was written was riveting, as though he was actually there, experiencing the feelings of the vampire. At one point, he vaguely wondered how much time had passed, but he couldn't even bring himself to look away from the book long enough to check his watch.

The vampire was giving into his urges, now. He'd lured a young man from a cafe and was ensorcelling him, binding him to the vampire's will. The book described in loving detail how the young man began to succumb slowly but surely to the vampire's hypnotic spell... his mind dulling and slowing, his eyelids growing oh-so-heavy, helplessly getting sleepier and sleepier as the vampire pulled him deeper under his power...

Lex yawned. The descriptions of the young man getting so drowsy were starting to make him feel drowsy, too. The smell of the calming herbs and the pleasant heat of the fire were also lulling him asleep. He'd been here a while, he thought. He should check the time. But he wanted to keep reading.

The young man's eyes began to flutter closed against his will as the vampire drew him so close. "It's too late for you to fight," said the vampire in the story. "You belong to me."

"Yes... master..." said the poor human victim, his mind struggling against the words, trying to fight off the sleepy haze and escape. But it was no use -- the vampire had him utterly at his mercy.

The human's eyes shut tight as he swooned in the vampire's arms, exposing his tender neck for the monster to drink, to feed, to replenish himself off of the victim's life-force...

Lex startled awake. It wasn't as though the book was boring -- on the contrary, it was fascinating -- but the quiet, peaceful shop and the subject matter had him half-asleep. He wanted to finish the story, but he wasn't quite sure where he'd left off. Maybe he should reread the entire part of the vampire enthralling the human, just to make sure he hadn't missed anything...

"What are you doing to me?" said the human in the story. "I feel so strange... so sleepy..."

"Oh, you poor helpless soul," said the vampire, stroking his cheek and directing the human's gaze into his eyes. "You will sleep. You will obey. You will not resist."

Lex swallowed. He didn't understand why he felt so drawn to the victim in the story, why he wanted to be in his place. Why he wanted to read the passage over again. Why it was so hard to think of anything else. Surely that was an insane thought -- no one of sound mind would want to be captured and fed on by some supernatural monster.

"You're getting so sleepy, so helpless, so vulnerable," said the vampire, on Lex's fifth or sixth reread of the passage. 

The words blurred before his eyes. He was... he was so sleepy...

"Shhh, Lex," said a gentle, kind voice at his ear, as a hand tousled his hair. "You're so sleepy, aren't you?"

"Mr... Mr. Pines..." said Lex, so groggy, like he was trying to rouse himself from a deep slumber. "I'm -- your book --"

"So quiet, Lex. You're so very quiet, aren't you? So still and silent while you read."

Quiet... still... silent... yes, that was it... he'd always cherished the quiet...

"Your mind is so quiet. So utterly still. Falling asleep with a good book by the fire."

"Mmmm," he said, with a sleepy smile on his face.

"Let me take this," said Mr. Pines, removing the book from Lex's hands. "You're going to fall asleep now, Lex. And your mind is going to go completely quiet."

Lex didn't even register that something was wrong, that maybe he should resist. He felt completely at ease, peaceful and warm and comforted. As his drowsy eyes fluttered closed, a wool blanket was being wrapped around him, cocooning and immobilizing him. He was being picked up with a strength that may have worried him if his mind weren't falling asleep.

He didn't want to ask where he was going. He wanted to be quiet.

"Sleep, Lex. Sleep deeply in the dark and the silence."

Lex felt as if he were being gently rocked to sleep as he was carried, the creak of stairs giving the only indication of where he was being taken. 

He was set back down again in a few minutes. "You're going to be completely still, Lex. Completely asleep. You won't make a sound. You're going to feel a little pain, but it won't wake you up. And then you're going to drift even deeper asleep."

Lex may have nodded his assent if he weren't so still.

The blanket was being moved, his shirt unbuttoned and moved aside. Something sharp grazed his neck, and then punctured. And then he was falling, falling so deep asleep, so deeply drowsy and still and silent --

He flickered very briefly back into consciousness as he was set onto a bed, before sleep dragged him under once more.

Masterlist Next

I was happy with how this AU scenario turned out! There will be a part two.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @whumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining-blog @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity @annablogsposts @ghost-whump

[billieeilishshusband]

Summary: Your drunk at Coachella.

Warning(s): Swearing, drinking, Nothing really happens between the two.

Coachella was a long and loud event. I was sat backstaged, I had been close with Lana since I was young, she basically raised me. Since her spot light i've also been in the spot light, because i basically lived with her until i was 17. When Billie had started to get popular i was open about my crush on her, i basically yelled on the internet and interviews about my crush on her. Although Lana had spoken and met Billie a lot of times but i never expected to ever meet her. I had gotten drunk at the back of the Coachella, no one else got drunk with me because they were preforming. they were all okay with me getting drunk. After a while i was steaming drunk, I got bored sitting and listening to the everyone talking while the TV was blaring the performance of an artist. I stood up stumbling "YN you okay? Where are you heading?" Lana said looking up at me "I'm- i'm just going- to the bathroom" Slurring my words Lana said something i couldn't make out. I knew it was Billie performing right now she had been for a bit. I was probably going to meet Billie tonight, Hopefully not though with the state i am.

I stumbled around looking for the bathroom for about 5 minutes until I bumped into someone, I had even noticed them "Shit sorry" I slurred looking at the clearly shorter person. It was Billie "You okay? Are you lost YN?" She knew my name? How'd she know my name? Actually Lana would of mentioned "No- well yea- I can't find the bathroom" I giggled "Oh right, here i'll show you" She smiled, her barely brunette hair moving smoothly while she patted me on the back while also laying her hand on my back to guide me "Your Billie Eilish!" I laughed. It had just hit me it was her, why'd that take so long? "Yes, Yes i am your YN LN" She yelled back while chuckling lowly. "Holy shit! Your actually Billie" I didn't realise we had made it to the bathroom yet until she pointed it out "Yes, i am-" She let out a chuckle "-Here's the bathroom i'll wait on you" She smiled. I walked hitting the wall on accident. I walked in and done my business. I left and saw Billie on her phone waiting on me "You waited on me!" I smiled going over to hug her, She returned the hug and walked back with me "YN what took so long?" Lana said sounding slightly worried.

"I got lost and then i met fucking Billie Eilish, I love Billie Eilish man!" The artists all chuckled at my happiness. "I know you love Billie Eilish, your room is filled with Billie merch and you wouldn't stop talking about her for years" Lana laughed, Billie also laughed at it and sat down on a couch, I stayed standing unsure if i should sit down "Yeah but it's the real Billie, it's the fucking real Billie!" I yelled loudly "I don't think you should have anymore to drink" Lana turned her head towards Billie before returning her gaze to me "Come sit down baby" I could die, right here right now "Oh okay yes yes i will" I quickly ran to sit next to her. She started asking me questions while Lana went back to another conversion. I started to feel tired. I yawned, she also yawned i'm sure if it was because of me yawning or she was tired too. She placed her hands on my cheeks and looked at me "Your head keeps bobbing" She laughs. I placed my hands on her cheeks "Your so pretty" I smiled. "can i kiss you?" I said looking at her, she had a very red face from that "I don't think you should right now, but when your sober i'll remind you okay?" She smiled…