#I've lived more lives than enough
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thinking about against the kitchen floor again
#I'm sorry#but this can't go on#guess who is not stable#I keep a locket with a picture of the back of my head#monkey-wrench my side view mirrors#ghost my friends#I've lived more lives than enough#I haven't died quite as much#But I'm not a real person#just the shit you can't make up#Did I really have any of that gravity?#Maybe you're quicksand#Because I really couldn't tell#How deep my footprints went#The vertex of my redemption arc#The searching on that virgin heart#I'm catatonic in your arms#Crying#“How did I cause so much harm?”#I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor#Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours#Don't say#I know you've got scars of your own#But hide my knives before you go#I'll either live or die alone#I'm still in the process#but I'm making progress#I promise#I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible#I swear
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Maybe the problem with Christian fiction is that it's non-denominational. People are just "Christian", with no effort put into showing what practicing that religion looks like for them specifically. No indication that there are other Christians who could have different beliefs. No wrestling with differing ideas and the struggle of how one should live out their Christian faith. And that makes it unrealistic and unrelatable.
#me reading any christian historical fiction set in england: why are none of these gentry anglican??#they ARE all anglican and if they are not it is extremely plot and character relevant you can't just have them using evangelical buzzwords#but i'm also thinking of this because i started another charlotte yonge book#that is by far my favorite of the things of hers that i've read#because it has characters who have different upbringings and religious opinions#instead of just 'here's a bunch of high church anglicans judging people who don't live up to their victorian standard'#you have the very high church anglican rector whose wife is worldly but still a very good person#the girl raised in a very strict protestant family who is more scrupulous than the anglicans but is still recognized as a good person#you have people who are trying to work out the nuances of different issues#and that makes it so much more realistic and so much easier to integrate into the story#(the politics though are hilarious)#(most of the classics that survive are the ones that were 'ahead of their time' in politics)#(so it's equally fascinating and refreshing and a bit infuriating to see one that is very very of its time with regards to women's rights)#('why did this woman get up at the meeting and explain her very good ideas for rebuilding after the fire? she should have had a man do it')#(meanwhile i'm just screaming 'why on earth SHOULDN'T she???')#(it's almost enough to make a feminist of me)
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Time forgets most (DPxDC)
I've been getting too many brain worms that I need to clear out the cramp space that is my idea vault. In doing so, I'm just posting off-handed, random things I've typed up at work. (Partly so my drafts don't just end up like my vault). Without further ado, a much too too long post
°•°•°•°
The movement of time is a much too complex thing for many to understand. The knowledge that time was not perfectly linear. The past did not simply stay in the past. The future is not simply something to look forward to. The present is not simply a fleeting moment.
Time is a complex web. Every point in time, connected to another point in time. A never-ending mess of webs and connections. Things that are to be. Things that can be. Things that are being. Things that will never see the light of day in this universe.
Despite what some may want to believe, Time has no master. Time does not yield to any singular being. That did not mean that Time didn't need a helping hand. A guiding hand to help keep the chaos of time to something just a little more... fluid.
The being came to exist well before the universe had. The being was festered, taught, and nurtured in a small pocket dimension. A small space just like an incubator.
Until the world blossomed around it. Life started to grow. Time kept moving. Living organisms found untimely deaths. Evolved, learned, and grew into the new space around it.
When the first little creature crawled out of the water, Time's keeper was let free. A bumbling little thing, breaming with life and curiosity.
Just like everything else in the world, this keeper wasn't safe from time. It still moved. Brought forth problems and adventures.
As time continued to tick. Moving in every direction, the keeper continued to age. Unlike the rest of the universe, the keeper didn't age the same as others.
Some days, he was nothing but a small boy, frolicking in a field of flowers and bees. Other days, he was a strong middle-aged man. Pulling the strings in just the right way, pushing for a timeline that felt right.
On days that have been happening much more often. He was but a crippled old man, hunched over his staff, and dropping much needed wisdom on the young lives around him.
Being the keeper of time wasn't an easy feat. Being completely out of time, experiencing things in broken order. There was only a clear start, and a jumble of things that followed.
The keeper was content with his life. Watching over the world as it grew and blossomed. He was content with his special kind of solitude.
That was until he saw the boy. In the webs of moments, the keeper's gaze had found him. A boy much too young, suddenly with powers much too great thrusted upon him.
The keeper watched the scenes play out. The tears, laughter, humiliation, triumph, and pain. He watched as the boy's family was ripped from him. Watched the twisted attempt at fixing his life, only for it to go horribly wrong.
He watched the bloodshed and chaos that erupted. The lives ripped apart and destroyed. Not a single sign of life left behind.
Then he watched as the boy, no, not a boy anymore. The keeper watched as the monster tore through the fabric of time. Ripped its way through the thin veils that divided the universes.
Universes that had never known the boy's existence were torn to shreds to. A flight driven with pain and anger.
Despite the keeper having seen the boy turn into such a monster. He could see it in the beast's eyes. The deep-seated need for a family, a life. To be loved.
Something about the boy's life, his story, spoke to the keeper. He found himself reaching out into the web of lives and moments. Finding the moment when things went the most wrong for the boy.
Just like that, the keeper had inserted himself into a life. He pulled the boy out of the cruel stream of time. Filled the boy with the knowledge he needed. Let the boy see just what could happen if he let it.
The keeper of time was soon a simple mentor. A simple deity looking out for the world. Taking on the mantel of Clockwork and finding a new purpose for his life.
A young boy's life has been flipped upside down two times now. And there were certainly more to come. This time, the boy wasn't alone. He had a guiding hand, and a communtiy behind him.
The keeper, no, Clockwork watched with a strange pride and happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. The boy was quickly surrounded by a family that helped him navigate his new powers.
Clockwork, alongside many of the other ghostly beings, watched on with pride as the young boy grew into a strong young man. Mastering powers, taking a stand, and making their home safe.
Despite the best efforts, time always beings problems.
It was one thing for Clockwork. He was the keeper of time. His life has reason to exist as long as time exists. Which will always be. His purpose was infinite.
But this boy... Danny wasn't like Clockwork. He was still partially human and terrified of losing his humanity. Danny's story had to come to an end, it's how time works.
Except, Danny wasn't in the timeline anymore. Clockwork had ensured that, pulled Danny into a separate timeline. An unaccounted for timeline.
He couldn't live here forever, not the way that Clockwork could. Danny needs a life, a family, a place, a purpose. He was still human.
It took more effort than Clockwork would have liked. He had to cash in favors from other deities that he hadn't spoken to in centuries.
It took a combined effort of everyone who cared for the little halfa. The strange boy that teeter on the line between life and death. The boy who had freed the Zone from a tyrant. Who wanted nothing more than for everyone to live a happy and filled life/afterlife.
Getting the magic and spells right was the hard part. But finding the location was easy. A beautiful planet just on the edge of the Milky Way. Unlikely to be disturbed or hurt.
The planet was undiscovered, primative even. Far enough from humans that Clockwork was certain Danny wouldn't be bothered. Only one species lived on that planet. Along the jungle like fauna, and in the water.
Cute little guys, barely bigger than two feet long and one foot tall. There was no name, no knowledge about them. Aside from Clockwork analyzing their way of life.
A simple cycle. They were born, they aged, they played, fed, mated, and then died. A simple but content life.
The aliens weren't unsettling. At least not to anyone who has seen more creatures than what Earth has to offer. It is a strange combination between frog, fish, and squid.
Scurrying around on two legs and four tentacles. A small frog-like face with eyes that seemed to take up half that space. Colors vary from blues to greens to the same sandy brown found at the bottom of the lakes.
Before long, the planet had its own protector. A young boy who once was lost and alone seemed to meld perfectly with these aliens.
Clockwork was always sure of himself. He never let anyone see otherwise. Except, Clockwork hadn't been sure. Not when he had performed the ritual.
As he molded and changed Danny's DNA until the man was a new being entirely. To anyone who didn't know the full story, the boy could easily look related to the aliens.
Gills now painted the sides of his neck, not necessary, but Clockwork felt like it had been. Webbed hands and feet to make transversing the underwater caves even easier. An ethereal, almost siren-like touch to Danny.
It worked out perfectly. Danny settled in easily. Building a routine and bound with the aliens. It hadn't been hard for the little creature to take a liking to him.
Before long, it was routine. Danny would spend most of his time on the planet, watching over his new wards. On some days, he'd portal back to the zone. Spend time with the ghosts and deities that saved his life. To check in on the new govermental system that had been put in place.
It was perfect. Simple and nice. Everyone got complacent. The longer time went on without a hiccup or a problem. The longer Danny was able to rest in his odd solitude. The more people got comfortable.
The more they forgot that time was as cruel as it was forgiving.
It had been just another day cycle. Danny was playing with the most recent litter birth. The first time he had seen the birth, he was more disgusted than anything else.
After the third time, Danny had started getting excited. He looked forward to it. Loved seeing the aliens flourish and grow. Watching them thrive and find more fun in the things Danny creates. Every new fun game or obstacle was always made with the things natural to the planet. Or debris that was caught in its gravitational pull.
Danny was playing with Plop. The little guy got his name, and he always plopped out of the water. Unlike the other aliens, this one didn't crawl out. No, he'd pull himself out of the water with his tentacles, only to plop down on the ground.
Of course, Plop had also been the first alien to approach Danny when he arrived. It's how they formed such a strong bond.
Everything had seemed perfectly fine. The day was rolling along just like it always did. That was until a small group of the more elder aliens suddenly came scurrying into their main cave.
They hadn't waited a second before diving into the water. Danny watched, confused and concerned, as each one of them grabbed one of the young. Before shooting straight into the underwater cave system.
The once bustling and living cave was suddenly eerily quiet and void of any aliens. Leaving behind only the confused Danny in the pool.
At least that's what a certain Green Lantern saw when he followed the trail of retreating aliens.
This planet had been categorized to have no signs of intelligent life. It seemed to have the option to nurture life, but there had been no signs.
When Hal Jordan got word of a seeming spike of activity from the supposedly empty planet, he had added it to his rooster.
A quick peek, just a look into what kind of life might be starting to grow there. The little aliens he had seen were adorable, sure. But they didn't seem all that evolved. Still in their evolutionary journey.
That was until Hal saw him.
Now, Hal was no stranger to running into ethereal beauty. It's what happens when someone interacts with aliens on a basic daily. That was something he was used to.
Except, all his breath seemed to be knocked out of him completely. The cave alone was stunning, a stark contrast from the almost barren surface he had first seen.
A deep, shimmering blue pool that vanished into the rocky space around it. Trees, bushes, and flowers decorate the area. It looked almost too good to be true. Like an oasis in the middle of a desert.
Then there was the being that caught all of Hal's attention. Bright blue eyes that looked like gems, pale blue-tinged skin. Long black and white hair seemed to look almost like the night sky. A deep abyss littered with stars.
The closest thing that Hal's brain supplied was a siren. A beautiful, ethereal creature that lured men to their deaths. As beautiful as it seemed, Hal knew there could easily be danger.
Except, the creature didn't attack or threaten him.
Instead, he seemed almost shy. Mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, sharp deadly teeth flashing in the light with each motion.
Hal had just opened his mouth, taken a hesitant step forward. He wanted to know, and he needed to know how this happened. There wasn't supposed to be an intelligent, sophisticated life on this planet.
The moment Hal's lips parted, the creature let out a trill. A sound that seemed more scared than aggressive. Before suddenly, the beautiful creature vanished into the pool.
Hal moved before he could think, rushing to the edge of the pool. He peered into the crystal clear water, just in time to take the webbed feet of the creature vanish into a tunnel.
Now that left Hal with two options. He could either report this and wait for backup...
Or...
Or...
He could jump inside. The ring would protect him, and his lungs would be fine. Perks of being a Green Lantern.
That option seemed much more tempting to Hal. Nothing about this scream an outright threat. He felt more like a strange imposing on someone's home. A home that was meant for safety and protection of the young.
Yet, the shimmering water seemed to be calling to Hal. Something in him was trying to push him to get inside. To find the beautiful creature and learn more. Learn how this happened.
Without realizing it, Hal Jordan sealed his fate the moment he dipped a finger into the cool pool. Rippling the steady surface just slightly.
Just enough to get him wrapped up in the strange web created by time and its keeper.
#danny phantom#fandom things#fandom#danny fenton#phandom#dc x dp#dp x dc au#dp x dc crossover#dc comics#dc hal jordan#hal jordan#dc green lantern#green lantern#long post#I love all the posts that evolves Danny into something more than just a halfa#I've been having this idea of Siren!Danny#We're gonna ignore the fact that I got the idea for this from a Ghostsoap fic#I also like to blame the Circe saga from Epic the musical#Please I'm so whipped by that musical#I can't get over Circe and Odysseus' songs#Anyways Hal was ready to die for Danny at just one look#after he manages to get closer#to see Danny take care of and nuture the aliens#it's over for Hal#“I've only know this weirdly ethereal man for five minutes. but if anything happens to him I'm killing everyone in the room and then myself”#if it's not clear enough this is very much adult Danny who technically lived through millenniums but still just looks to be in his twenties#I love this idea sm even if I don't do much for it#I mean come on#I would kill to have art of Hal meeting Danny as my wallpaper#Time forgets most AU
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✨❤️ Faith and Max | [ 🔍 AU ] ❤️✨
In my heart, I have but one desire And that one is you No other will do
Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links
#happy 3 year anniversary to faith and max!! and to those who celebrate lmao#I can't believe how much drawing and sharing my art of these goobers have changed my life in such a massive way#how many of y'all that are so dear to me have I only had the honor of getting to know because I decided to post these guys together one day#I wouldn't have made all the friends I did since. I wouldn't have kept creating or sharing all the things I have since#if it weren't for them none of y'all would know me#I'm just so unbelievably grateful for how much my life has improved and how much happier I've become these past 3 years#and how much they've played a massive part in it#and ofc all of you. my closest besties especially. thank you for being so goddamn kind and supportive constantly#it means the world to me. it helps me and motivates me and inspires me so much more than y'all will ever know#and I can never thank y'all enough for that#I know this is all meant to be silly and fun to celebrate the very first time I drew them together#but it's just as much a way for me to celebrate just how much has saved me since#and show my appreciation to all the wonderful things in my life worth loving and living for#my art#faith and max#oc x canon#the outer worlds#captain of the unreliable#vicar max#maximillian desoto
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monster high (live action) + text posts (pt 5)
(1 2 3 4)
#I WAS NOT PLANNING ON MAKING A PART 5 but i saved more than 10 text posts and then found enough to make 20 pictures#no i would not like to talk about how many komos ones i've done shush#no one is actually killed on screen in these movies but i'm counting komos as being 'killed' by clawdeen BC I CAN#monster high#monster high g3#monster high the movie#monster high 2#clawdeen wolf#deuce gorgon#heath burns#frankie stein#draculaura#torelai stripe#komos#mr komos#mr. komos#cleo de nile#now...the others are like blurry back there...should i tag them???#yes#abbey bominable#lagoona blue#<- you can see those two (and lagoona's head can be seen in cleo's anyway) so...#clawdeuce#monster high live action#venux makes text post memes
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Snoopy #4
5/10/2024
#peanuts#snoopy#art#woodstock#4#well at least there's a beautiful sunset to watch while they freak out about the trajectory of their lives!#actually i put a sunset there bc they're running out of time :(#they're not even watching the sunset#realised halfway through drawing this that i don't think i've ever drawn a sunset before. the colours were way harder to pick than expected#and the sunset in the end still looks kinda ugly and sloppy but i like it well enough because i don't think anything has to look good <3#not included: the shadows and sunset reflection on the wall that i started doing before i realised i know nothing about lighting#i think i'm more at ease drawing woodstock now though. YAY!#this drawing is brought to you by the 'what am i doing with my life' crisis that i have every weekend (NOT FUN!)
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an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....
the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc
#luca 2021#pixar luca#alberto scorfano#another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol#ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that#giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own#thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha....#and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like.#say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways#portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol.#anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land#most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he....#that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha#is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv#and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance#like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4#thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat...#and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at#or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed.#&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no#something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne#that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing....#appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough#but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it
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Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.
One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.
Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.
Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.
Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)
I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.
I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.
I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?
The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.
It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.
The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.
I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.
You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.
Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.
We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?
I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?
If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?
This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x
#i think in essence what i'm trying to say is that#some things are true in a microcosm but you cannot make a universal application for them bc the microcosm isn't representative of the whole#and it is dangerous to assume that it is or that it can be bc you're erasing the bigger picture when you do that#it would be like a poc saying they never felt the pressure of skin-lightening creams which is amazing but it doesnt change the fact that a#whole industry exists selling skin-lightening products BECAUSE there is a demand for them and that demand exists BECAUSE there is an#expectation that they SHOULD be used and this is because there is a belief that lighter skin = more beautiful. regardless of how messed up#and damaging that logic is that doesn't mean it doesn't exist in the world#and therefore those industries exist to maintain that belief because that belief is what drives their purpose and their profits#and we are doing no favours to the countless poc who DO feel pressured to subject their skins to these products or who come away with#a deeply damaged sense of self-worth (not to mention the internalised racism that's behind these beliefs) bc of constantly being told they#are less than for being darker than a paper bag which is RIDICULOUS#saying its all down to choice is not far off from saying you can CHOOSE to not be affected by the pressure but like....that's just not true#you can't choose to not be the recipient of colorism any more than you can choose to not be the recipient of sexism. and its putting a huge#amount of pressure and responsibility for an individual to just not be affected by deeply ingrained societal pressures and expectations whe#what we SHOULD be doing is actually tackling those expectations and pressures instead#they are leaving these systems intact to continue the damage that they do by making everything about what you as an individual think and#believe but while we all ARE individuals we dont live in separate bubbles. we are part of and IN this world together. and it acts on us as#much as we act on it. but like.....i think i've gone on enough already#ask#anonymous
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thoughts on fandoms treating characters with a heavily fictionalized form of split personality as if they canonically have DID?
like DID doesnt fucking do this
You mean you don't do a magical girl sailor moon transformation when you switch?
I don't know, sounds sus, friendo
Your eyes should at least change colour, how else do you know who's fronting?
#but in all seriousness#this is a major problem#these highly fictionalized characters from both cartoon/anime and live action affect public perception more than people know#like you might think “psh it's just a show”#but that stuff is damaging when it's the only exposure to the CONCEPT of fragmented identities that a layperson has#saying “yeah that's DID in a nutshell” about certain portrayals isn't enough info for singlets and those outside our communities#and we often end up looking “crazier” and less believable#I've been quoting the isstd treatment guidelines lately#with the quote that clinicians “incorrectly assume that DID has a highly florid presentation” and media plays a huge part in that#imo any good representation about DID would be boring as shit#i don't get super powers#my alters are just as bad at everything as i am even if they're supposed to be specialized
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"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai
[ID in alt text]
#my art#three body problem#3 body problem#zhang beihai#三体#章北海#i've been meaning to draw three body problem characters and actually post them on my blog for quite some time!#so if anybody wants me to draw any specific character from the series feel free to reply here or send an ask as a request!#beihai is my top favorite and he resonated with me more than i expected! i rather liked bits of consequentialist philosophical ideas in him#anyways incoming ramble/infodump in the tags about various subjects pertaining to him#all you need to know about me is that i often lurk in chinese language fandom spaces and you might see commonalities in designs#if you see fanartists draw him with the broken eyebrow and mole then that's due to the 我的三体 (my three-body) donghua adaptation!#admittedly i was introduced to the series through that adaptation years ago because it seemed rather absurd (minecraft haha) but oddly good#at least check out the third season (haven't seen the fourth one yet but that's ongoing actually) or listen to 夜航星 (night voyager)#i'm rather curious how fanartists on tumblr might tackle character designs since i mostly see the two live action adaptations here#i want to diverge my designs from any particular adaptation but my beihai design takes a lot from 我的三体!#now about beihai- i really enjoyed his characterization and i'd like to bring up a maybe unintentional parallel and foil with the eto#hopefully that's something new to add to the discussion about zhang beihai and here's what adaptations don't get about mike evans#in the book he's a character you mostly only hear about from others and he's known to be a private person#he conceals a lot of his thoughts from even people like ye wenjie + he taught the trisolarans about deceit#then his strategy to kill luo ji was to keep it low and make it seem like an accident which those obfuscations of thought parallels beihai#then evans says: “but… it's obvious now that everywhere is the same” which is similar to beihai's “it doesn't matter. it's all the same”#the contexts differ but i think they're good foils about human nature “being the same” with evans's quote being about futility#then beihai's was about how regardless of if he survived or not- someone else would be able to carry on with his work#i have many other thoughts about beihai like how chu yan's (captain of blue space) group approach with the voting contrasts beihai#while beihai tried to bear the weight of attacking the other ships in solitude- chu yan made vengeance against trisolaris a group effort#(which that action goes against how the swordholder was a solitary role instead of a group one which is neat to me!)#i'd discuss more but i think that's enough to show that i really love zhang beihai (feel free to discuss the books with me though)
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Guide to PBS Kids writers:
This is an early episode of a quality animated show and is one of the most hysterical things I've ever seen on children's television = Joe Fallon
This is an early episode of a quality animated show and is very funny = Ken Scarborough
This episode has strong, vivid and realistic female characters = Kathy Waugh
This is an episode of an animated show that has undergone a notable quality drop where the characters get lessons preached at them and seem to exist only in a very narrow urban upper-middle-class worldview = Peter K. Hirsch
This is an episode of that show that has undergone a notable quality drop but the characters are believable and I'm actually laughing at several really good jokes = Ken Scarborough
#arthur#curious george#adventures in babysitting#curious george came on and the niece was living for it#and i think i was having more fun than she was#it was the donut episode#which i'd seen snippets of before but apparently not the whole thing#it was a riot!#george accidentally orders a thousand donuts and solves the problem by just eating the last zero#he wonders how he's gonna solve the problem of the hundred boxes and he just#takes one box of donuts and books it!#and gets chased down the street by a crowd of cheerful donut-bearing bakers#and then i see the next ep is credited to joe fallon so i look up who could have written the donut one#sure enough it was joe!#it's amazing how reliable this is#and this came after experiencing several surprisingly funny late episodes with ken's name attached#and as for pete#i've got rants about that man's worldview#i don't think he's stepped outside a city in his life#under his reign we get an episode about a little free library#on the renkins farm#i repeat#a little free library posted ON A DIRT ROAD!#you could not have made a DUMBER choice for such an episode#half of the show is set in a city!#it would have made sense there!#you've even established there's a largish country town nearby at this point in the show#that would at least make more sense#but this is downright boneheaded
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Tomorrow is my birthday! I had quite literally the worst week of my career hours wise last week, and am really struggling to pay all my bills for the week.
If anyone would perchance like to grab a silly little one page ttrpg that features mice and puns and the power of friendship, please consider my two mouse games! They're both free+ so any sale, even $1, will help - and those small sales really add up!!
If you've had a really great month so far, and just so happen to have extra dosh laying around, please consider helping out a queer disabled autistic creator?
If you are a fan of my silly little art, please consider grabbing a drawing or a card or some stationery with some silly fun designs or one of my OCs, or one of yours, just hmu and I'd be glad to make you something for a few buckeroonies! @rosie-lav-art to see my style!
If you aren't able to help, thanks for taking the time to read all this, and I hope that you have a great rest of your week, and that something nice and unexpected happens that brings you joy :)
(other ways to support -
cashapp/venmo/PayPal = rosielav)
(PS if you've been here since my Game Gruno days, I'll gladly write you a ficlet or something silly, been a while since I flexed the ol fan fic muscle but I'd be happy to do it again to help with bills!!!)
#ttrpg#ttrpgs#indie ttrpg#ttrpg community#lasers and feelings#Mutual aid#birthday#i need help#I should be OK literally every other week I jjst got 25 hours over 6 days and it's really not enough for all the bills#I have to pay electric and one of my credit cards but tbh the electric is my main priority because it's the biggest bill I have#This is the highest electric bill I've had all year as well xause it's been brutally hot so it's a big chunk of change for me#Normally it's very easy for my work work into my budget but I made less than the bill itself last week a d live paycheck to paycheck so :')#Literally anything helps I make like $7 for every $10 sent cause of fees basically but it adds up#And literary any amount is more than what I have sl I am incredibly grateful for anything#Thank you for taking the time to read all of this I hope you have a very nice day today and smile and laugh with someone you love
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Mirror, mirror, on the wall...
Who's the fairest of them all?
#lowkey cringy caption but I thought it was fitting given the context#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#who I still haven't figured out a tag system for lmao#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#alternative title: what a difference half a lifetime can make#summiya at 18/19 vs summiya at 34/35 is like night and day. she barely even looks like herself anymore#or maybe.. she looks more like herself than she ever did? what came before wasn't her. it was an empty porcelain doll devoid of personality#hiding the rotten nature underneath that's been steadily seeping through#and now that she has been thoroughly destroyed her outward appearance finally reflects what she was like inside all along#but just as she manages to convince herself of it. she looks in the mirror and refuses to accept that this is who she really is#where did that gorgeous girl who was so excited for her wedding day go? or the one who lit up upon being showered with compliments?#what happened to them? to her? how did she sink so low?#she was supposed to be better than this... better than her siblings. she was always better than Zaheer and Aiza#but now she's easily the worst of the free. their betrayal doesn't even compare#she deserves death for what she did. she looks at the bruising on her throat and wonders why it wasn't enough#why he didn't press just a little harder. then at least she wouldn't have to live with the shame#how awful of her to wish for that. she is getting what was coming to her. she did all of that for the shame. it is her punishment#she doesn't get the mercy of dying and escaping the consequences of her actions#she is by no means innocent. what's happening now is simply justice being enacted. she's sure of it#she's alone and ruined and miserable. having driven away everyone who could have possibly cared for her. not that anyone did#perhaps it's better that way. maybe then no one else will look at her and realise just how different she looks from her younger self#she wasn't happy back then either but she was content. she was taking the first step towarcs the perfect life she was promised#now that very save perfect life is crashing and burning all around her. perhaps it was inevitable. it was always going to end this way#(sleepy tags so I apologise if they make no sense whatsoever or are just rehashes of stuff I've said before. I'm tired. gonna go to bed now)#oh. before I forget though:#injury tw#bruises tw
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algerian trans women arent able to compete in women sports at all, but yeah its makes no sense to call khelif tme. youre so fucking smart.
i see you don't believe that i'm quoting one of the trans women in my life about that, which is your prerogative. it's also your right to miss my point entirely both about the ways this alienates intersex people and about the rigidity of a binary that comes down to the same shrinking circles terfs draw when they try to quantify what a woman is (speak up for women, the most organised nz group, have now submitted on the human rights act suggesting that all babies be karyotyped at birth and the results be public, bc they can't establish any other definition they agree on. absolutely fucking nobody, not even their christian or conspiracist allies, agrees with them on this one.)
but you don't have to take my word for it! when i was at that consultation with the nz law commission, i was in a room with many other intersex and trans people, including trans athletes and trans women like lexie matheson who consult on trans inclusion in sports at a high national level. i don't think there's a single person in that room who did not name what was happening to khelif as we spoke as transmisogyny, who did not speak of her as part of a group with whom we all shared something.
at the end of the day, prison abolition informs all of my politics. i believe that we must look clearly and carefully at harm and distinguish it from discomfort or disagreement, and identify its structural sources and true perpetrators. i believe that to build a better future we must be capable of imagining one. i believe that we can build a world where suffering is not the metric by which we determine value or punishment or righteousness. i believe that we can build a world where we centre and uplift those who are most hurt, in every arena — black and brown trans women, here; in some of my other work, it's incarcerated intellectually disabled people, or asian migrant sex workers affected by section 19, the list goes on — without then pitting them against other people who share some of the same story and will benefit from the same deconstruction of the systems that hold them down. i believe we can build a world in which asab doesn't affect so much of your life by beginning that work now.
there's a politics of scarcity — you have it better than me, so we have nothing in common. i saw it all the time in brothels, the idea that the new girl is taking money out of your kids' mouths. the viciousness with which people who are struggling are so ready to abandon solidarity. is it so hard to demand better for everyone? to think less about the ways we're alone and more about the ways we're together?
maybe it is. i know that well enough as a prison abolitionist. people get scared. they swing at shadows, they swing at anyone who seems to be suffering less, they — we, i should say, i am certainly not immune — get blindingly jealous of people who seem to have it easier. that's grief! that's grief for the easier life that we deserve. and we get to mourn, and take that time to feel it, and then we can choose if we want to keep working hand in hand with each other toward a world where that grief is dwarfed by the promise of the future.
#or you could simply say that she's not a trans woman instead of trying to make these terms fit? 'exempt' does make no sense here#unfollow me if you don't like what i'm saying! i don't intend to harp on it i like my little corner of tumblr and don't want this to spread#rbs still turned off anons also going off bc frankly i need to catch up on all my irl commitments and on local organising#and on the day job which is international organising related lmao#i really really cannot say this enough: even for the people i know who are both terminally online in trans circles AND organising irl#committing to more of the latter makes you feel a lot better about the former#also as always: i live in new zealand. i think half the problem with trans discourse is that people cannot imagine not just a better future#but a present in which there are communities less dysfunctional irl than this big messy online one#and that's saying something given how much i've vented on here about local dysfunction#i know a lot of people — mostly trans women — on here + twitter who feel afraid to have these conversations in public bc ppl act like this#and they have better things to do#technically so do i but unfortunately last night i was upset so i've opened another can of worms ig#which fucking sucks for me because every single time i have this conversation it devolves into people refusing to believe my csa history#or that i was sexed the ways i was as a kid#tony muses
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HELLO EVERYONE I HAVE NOT DRAWN AT THIS BARE MINIMUM CALIBER SINCE LAST YEAR BUT WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK BABY
anyway here are some of my ocs in their first iterations with the original drawings and their current iterations
#doodles#ocs#oc: aoi#oc: ren#oc: eden#oc: luka#lmfao i got stressed out and depressed about like three different things going on all at once over the past couple months#which made the regularly scheduled march-may depression even more dogshit than usual#so i've just been sitting in a corner putting together dollhouse kits back to back to deal with the dense brain fog#ANYWAY. OCS AM I RIGHT#honestly a lot of the other ocs just. havent been around long enough to get big overhauls#over the span of 10+ years i looked at these freaks with their mildly fucked up lives and i said what if i made it worse actually#except the baby boy i looked at him and i said you will thrive and you will flourish and you will be a baby#one of them was a h etalia oc for a second so no other way to go but up from there#one was also a fate oc that eventually became an f ma oc and then i shoved them in the trash for like five or six years#i shan't elaborate any further on either#there was a lot of writing about these iterations on here but i GOT RID OF IT because idk im embarrassed :/
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vent post sorry so sorry i'm having a Bad Time
psyched myself up to buy a new bed but when i announced my plans for the weekend my sibling's like 'are you sure you wanna buy a new bed?' like damn killed the hype immediately. i don't wanna buy a bed i don't wanna go anywhere i'll just keep using the bed that we all cycled through growing up that hasn't been replaced in a decade+ with no bedframe and only one sheet that fits.
"are you sure you want-" I need a new bed. This isn't a matter of wanting. i don't want to think about where to get the best deals or which store has a delivery service or the logistics of hauling that thing into my room or where to get rid of the old one i'm sick of sleeping on a mattress on the floor. don't make this ordeal more complicated than it has to be.
#i'm having a really bad day mentally and when it's this bad i have trouble doing anything because it's all too complicated#even going to the bathroom is too much so i just wont. and as the day goes on i start feeling gross and uncomfortable and hungry#but if i use the bathroom i'll be dirty so i'll have to take a shower and showering is a whole other thing so i'll just not eat or drink so#i don't have to go any more badly than i already do#it's not good and i hate it and this is somehow my fault??? fuck off why don't i crawl into a ditch so you don't have to see it#i skipped work today and i couldn't even go downstairs to get my work phone to inform my boss. even though i have enough time off saved up#it's still a tardy because i didn't report in so i'll get written up#they should fire me. i hate that place.#none of the part time jobs i've applied for have replied#i can't get another job if i lose this one#i cant tell if i'm fr mentally ill or if it's just a product of living in pandemic-genocide-capitalist-global warming times. among others.#not that any of that directly affects me because it's all just me overthinking things and blowing it out of proportion and ruining myself#i'm sorry i cant help#myself or others#talking tag
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