#I've literally only had three crushes in my life :P

[dootznbootz]

I'm technically most likely demiromantic (definitely demisexual) which is technically on the aro spectrum but I'm sooooo romance favorable that it almost doesn't feel like it counts????

I'm a huge romantic sap but I'm kind of funky with crushes. I have them and I get them but I'm very particular and I almost have... control over them???

Like when I start to feel the feelings™, I then start looking at a possible relationship through "logic lens".

"Compatible here, there, there too. Okay, we're not with that though, and I will not move on that so therefore it will not work. Alright, cool! Best friend! Best friend! Best friend!"

I can just shut off the feelings™ once I get the feeling it's not gonna work, especially if it's on something I will not change. If I have a feeling there's potential, I let feelings "grow".

[datastate]

9, 19 (even tho I know already ehe) aaaand 32 :3

9: do you have a "type"? if so, what is it?

i have felt romantic attraction three (3) times in my entire life, so i fear there isn't yet enough data for this to be conclusive... but i will say! i've never fallen for a blonde person, fiction or otherwise. which is more than my good sibling kid of streets fame can say <3

for a more serious response though, my standards are depressingly low & i feel it's a bit amusing that so few people have really been considered in my mind as actual candidates for a romantic relationship - even before i develop romantic attraction, i've sometimes tried to decide if it's worth pursuing based on a few different factors... though i'm shy to put the details of that here. romance has never been a very important part of my life, but in terms of wanting a long-lasting relationship, it is the most viable option for most who do experience romantic attraction more often than i, and i'd want to be prepared if the question does come.

& for all the jokes, aesthetic attraction plays a very little part in whether or not i'd want someone as my partner. many people pursue me based solely on appearances, and it's certainly made clear to me how shallow it feels to have that as a significant point of interest.

19: describe your fashion sense. do you "dress gayly"?

HOW RUDE...!! ...i may dress gayly, but that is BESIDES THE POINT!!

aheem. in any case. my wardrobe is primarily filled with reds, blacks, and dark purple/blue hues. i typically prefer clothing with a more formal feel to them, often long-sleeved, and i rarely go without wearing my gloves! i do have a few short-sleeved shirts which have fanciful designs on them or where the sleeve hangs nicely... i need to get a new vest, though. and i'd love to buy more skirts (or loose pants that hang like skirts)

in the past, i used to wear much simpler styles. jeans with a leather jacket, hoodie, or a flannel. i still have my first girlfriend's flannel in my closet bwehehe... it's been there for years.

but of course...! when i'm at home, i typically opt for what is the most comfortable, so i end up reusing the same few outfits if i know i'm not heading out that day :P it's usually simple formal black pants & whatever soft shirt i have around.

as many of my friends have claimed... i dress & speak as though i'm... "a victorian dandy" ... devastating.

32: tell a funny story about something really gay you've done.

haggardly lights my cigarette... 🚬

you've already heard the story of my first gf and i taking literal weeks to kiss each other on the mouth, during which we'd meet after school every day in a secluded spot between school walls, just in front of the student council room... so i shall choose another!

when i was a young dyke, see, there was this lovely girl (soon to discover. they're not a girl. but that's unrelated) i'd met during summer courses (to get academic credits early) and quickly grew fond of. we had a bit of a thing going on here, and they eventually invited me to the "anime club" (& book club + the origami club that they started up. but that's unimportant right now) since i stayed after school anyhow in the library to finish work/etc. and they wished to spend more time with me.

when i went to the anime club, it was primarily their friend group. i was extremely nervous of being the only one who didn't know them, especially as i'd transferred late to the school; but they quickly warmed up to me, and throughout the year, we all came to realize we were gay or trans in some manner.

one person's realization was. through her crush on me, which i somehow didn't realize i was the cause of when i saw her instagram & announcement she was bisexual & her sudden uptick in calling me "honey."

the time it actually registered for me that "oh! this is not just a joke about everyone in this club being gay girls!" was when we finished the final episode of death note. after discussing it, she said that she loved my words & picked me up, twirled me around, and carried me out of the classroom "bridal style" -- my friend stole some flowers from one of the planters to put in our hair when she finally set me down in the courtyard. i was so embarrassed, but it was very fun <3

anyway. dn is gay but not for the reason people think. it's because i permanently associate it with one of the most flustering moments of my entire life, during which i accidentally put my face in her tits multiple times 👍

[novelelitist]

2AM fictional work and media thoughts:

Soulmate tropes are, in general, super lame. Trite. Uninteresting. There are exceptions to this, where a soulmate story is actually P. Deece, but overall they're executed in the lamest ways possible without regard for the consequences of having an entire world like that (or even one pair and a butterfly effect)

Love at first sight is stupid and not real. That's your brain chemicals doing some weird backflip shit. You're probably horny, intrigued, or interested, but "love" and being "in love" are commitments to a set of actions toward that person

Love at first sight between little kids that wanna make fwiends is cute tho, as is kids having crushes on each other. I had a crush as a kid. My first crush lasted for uhhh 9 years, 4 of which were after I moved 700 miles away and looking back it was stupid as shit but if it was another kid that wasn't me and another teenager that wasn't me I would say it's cute

Friend crushes and loving and supporting friends in fictional works should be normalized, because why the hell aren't you hyping up your goddamn homies you shitbags???

Uhhh normalize friendships in fiction and IRL where people acknowledge choosing different lifestyles from each other and that they don't "get it" but they still respect each other and feel happy for them

Genuinely amicable exes that respect and are happy for each other need to be portrayed better. Maybe because I'm only on strictly bad terms with a couple of mine, but a dude I could've married once upon a time is now with the love of his life and they're getting married and starting a life together and I could not be happier to support them. Three people I've been involved with have transitioned or started presenting differently since we split and I'm so happy for them I could pee. Like a puppy. Gross

I want more "breakups aren't the end of the world" mentalities. There are more relationships than romantic ones, and even the best of any type will face struggles. Life, feelings, and time all ebb and flow. Nothing is guaranteed. Quit taking your freedom for granted, dumbass characters. Enjoy it, and savor being part of a universe that doesn't give a shit

More radical nilihism that wraps back around to positivity, please. I'm certain my life doesn't matter and objectively means nothing, and so I will live it in a way that brings me satisfaction. But not in a stupid way. I'm talking character growth arcs and pursuing things other than ass. I'm thinking getting mental health care, pursuing passions, traveling the world, making friends, learning things, playing video games when you feel like garbage--shit that makes life worth living

Descents into madness and climbs back to normality. Let me see a bih break and come together

Falling in love with inanimate objects. I don't mean literally copulating with a car, but as an example, I've been with my first car for nearly 10 years and we've traveled 120,000 miles. I've always kept him clean, never got freaky in any seats, even put money in when he shoulda been totaled. That car is full of memories from a me that isn't me now, but suffered and hurt and became the me I am now. I don't ever want to forget the accidents, the tears, the shrieking, the road trips, the sunrises and sunsets, the ocean, the mountains. I did all that with the same little toaster, and I think it's okay to personify him after 10 years together. Can't you do the same with your favorite blanket or trading card or figurine? Idk man I'm just dhdhsgsjkgj

[tacostrufflestragedies]

Hello diary.

Been a minute, things happening, holidays just exacerbating everything like they always do. Gonna be a long one.

Last Saturday, I had a kinda serendipitous meetup with P (the girl I have a crush on who is also unavailable, I'll just refer to her as P from now on). And it's made my head spin in a not-so-productive way. I mean every time I see her, that happens, but this time more so. I made a batch of pumpkin spice syrup and was meeting her at a coffee shop to give a bottle to her, but also to try the PSL there because according to her it was the best in our area.

We ended up getting coffee and sitting down and talking for three hours. About life, our past, things we're struggling with, my relationship with my ex, her past and current relationships, her family...it went all over the place. Obviously it was an amazing time, even more so after I settled down and stopped being nervous and just acted myself. And the part that's been making my head spin is that she has so much in common with my ex. They both grew up in LA, are Hispanic, struggle with their family, came from low-income and have worked hard to get where they are. She mentioned a few things and got really emotional, like she was gonna cry, and I didn't quite know how to react. I wanted to offer support but I was just unsure if she was even comfortable with being that vulnerable in front of me in the first place, and then me with my continual struggle to draw the line between friend and partner. I pressed a little when it seemed prudent, like when she mentioned her grandmother. I wanted to be more supportive, I just wasn't sure if she was okay with that.

It was just this surreal experience. I hardly ever get to see her, just here and there to swap baked goods and chat for a bit. And she came to my party and we sorta cooked together. But still pretty infrequent. And then this, three hours at once, and it was a blast of vulnerability that I was not expecting. The vulnerability, plus all the similarities, and then hearing that her and her boyfriend have experienced the same problems that me and my ex did but have approached them in a healthy way...

After that Saturday, plus looking at her personality and how she talks and approaches problems and provides support... it's just all combined to be that she's basically a combination of my best friend and my ex, but like a grown-up version of my ex. And hell if that isn't literally the most attractive person possible to me. How can I not like her? And it's awakened this feeling of familiarity within me, like she mentioned being stressed about visiting her family for Thanksgiving and immediately I wanted to press more on it because I've spent the last 10 years helping someone navigate that exact thing and I felt like I had very specific, targeted support that I could offer.

She checks all the boxes, and then checks boxes I didn't even know existed. I'm having a pretty hard time with this honestly. I've been trying my best to stay in my lane and respect her relationship, and to give her space when it seems like she needs it. In fact, I'm the one that needs space from her. I mean, see above. I think it's also tougher because I only ever see her one-on-one, never around other friends and only once with her boyfriend. The other girl I have a crush on I always see with other friends around, and often with her boyfriend there (yep, this other girl has a boyfriend too, you shouldn't be surprised at this point). So it's been WAY easier to manage, we really are just friends at this point and the crush is a soft dull ember that's easy to bury. But not with P.

I have all Thanksgiving break to let my mind marinate with this bullshit. Wish me luck

[wesonerdy]

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is a wonderful end of summer treat: great acting, well-paced plot, and all the swoony, teen-y feels. This is the quality, RomCom content we deserve!

Courtesy of NETFLIX

  When I saw the first trailer for To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before earlier this summer, I just knew that I needed this film in my life, so much so, that I emailed NETFLIX publicity and practically begged them for a screener. And now that I’ve seen this film eight times (EIGHT!!!!!!!!), my initial feelings have only grown.

NETFLIX has been doing the Lord’s work lately by bringing us glorious romantic comedy, and TATBILB is, through and through, swoony and hilarious and heartwarming. Instantly, the films transports me back to my 16/17-year old self, the optimism and feels, coupled with the awkwardness and insecurity of trying to navigate my teenhood.

Now, I haven’t read Jenny Han’s best-seller, so I can’t really talk about the film as an adaptation. (I promise, it’s at top of my TBR list. And FYI: our friends at Fangirlish have an awesome interview with Jenny Han where she reflects on the process of working with the creative team to adapt her book for NETFLIX.)

What I can say is that To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is a wonderful end of summer treat: great acting, well-paced plot, and all the swoony, teen-y feels. This is the quality, RomCom content we deserve.

  Lara Jean Song Covey, the middle daughter in an interracial, Korean-American family, is about to begin her junior year of high school. She has just said goodbye to her older sister, Margot, who’s off to college in Scotland. In the absence of their mother (who dies when the Lara Jean, Margot, and their baby sister Kitty are quite young), Margot becomes a maternal figure in the family. Though, their father, Dr. Dan Covey, tries to keep the memory of their mother alive for the girls by cooking Korean food, etc., he sometimes botches things. Margot has been there to clean up the messes and smooth things over.

Margot does something similar in Lara Jean’s life at school. Lara Jean has been on the sidelines of the social scene and mostly relying on her best friend Christine, Margot, and Margot’s boyfriend Josh. When Margot leaves (and breaks up with Josh beforehand), Lara Jean loses 2/3 of her circle. This doesn’t bother Lara Jean too much… she’ll eat lunch in the library (as long as they don’t kick her out for eating noisy foods) and on the weekends, she’ll watch Golden Girls reruns with Kitty. Lara Jean seems satisfied; however, someone in her life wants to shake things up.

Over the last several years, Lara Jean has written love letters to five guys she’s had crushes on. Lara Jean doesn’t mail them, but it helps her to articulate her feelings and make sense of them. Lara Jean hides the letters in a teal gift-box (a keepsake from her mother). But one day, Lara Jean gets a rude awakening when all five letters are missing. Someone has mailed them out!!!

Right away, Lara Jean has to confront three of the guys, Peter Kavinsky (jock and Mr. Popular), Lucas Krapf (who shows Lara Jean a fun time at the 9th grade Homecoming dance), and Josh Sanderson. YES, the Josh who is now Sister Margot’s ex-boyfriend. LAWD!

In order to avoid the major awkward of dealing with Josh, Lara Jean agrees to begin a fake relationship with Peter Kavinsky (who’s trying to make his ex-girlfriend jealous). DRA.MA. Unexpectedly, hanging out with Peter does help Lara Jean to open up and enjoy high school. But what happens when Lara Jean starts to develop real feelings for her fake boyfriend?

  1. Lara Jean is all of us!

Lana Condor dazzles us as Lara Jean! She’s the perfect RomCom leading lady. Several times, Lara Jean shares her love of John Hughes films, and she, herself, could totally be a John Hughes heroine: smart, relatable, a little awkward, with perfect comedic timing, and all-around delightful.

I see so much of myself in Lara Jean, with her passion for bodice-ripper, romance novels, her shyness, and her love of her family. Lara Jean will be the first to tell you that she’s addicted to romance and drama… but aren’t we all, like a little bit?

And though I very much identify with Lara Jean, I recognize that a young, Asian-American woman as a romantic lead in a film like this is something special, something to celebrate, and something to replicate. Because #RepresentationMatters!

  2. Sisters before misters!

Yes, TATBILB is a romance, but, for me, the relationship between the three Covey sisters is the highlight of the film–Margot, the responsible one; Lara Jean, the shy, melodramatic one; and Kitty, the popular one and baby-feminist.

A significant part of the storyline follows the evolution of the way the sisters engage with one another as they’re growing up. Lara Jean is keeping a major secret from her sisters and it does create conflict between them. However, when Lara Jean finds herself in a difficult and embarrassing situation towards the end of the movie, it’s Margot and Kitty who Lara Jean turns to.

By the end, I was cheering “sisters before misters!!!” at the screen and so ready to call my own sisters, too.

  3. John Corbett is the DILF we deserve!

To all my fellow Sex and the City fans, I have to confess that Aidan has always been my favorite of Carrie’s guys. So, now to see John Corbett as a sweet, single-daddy to his girls, is the literal BEST. Dan Covey was so, super in love with his wife and has worked hard to channel all of that love into raising his three daughters. This includes hella awkward conversations about sexual health, all the way to reminding Lara Jean that she deserves to be young and carefree.

  4. Lara Jean’s boys…SWOON!

I didn’t expect to like Peter Kavinsky as much as I did, but he was charming and kind and a great guy for Lara Jean. Peter challenges Lara Jean to have fun and helps her step out of her shell to embrace the experiences of high school and be part of the group.

One of my favorite scenes takes place between Lara Jean and Peter after dinner with Peter’s family. They bond over losing a parent, and Lara Jean reflects on how losing her mother has shaped her fear of love and relationships. In the course of the film, this realization jars Lara Jean into taking some risks. But as they say: no risk, no reward! (Especially if that risk includes making out in a hot tub! 😉 )

While I adore Peter, Lucas is my homeboy. I would take him and his cravat-wearing, cutie-patootie self anywhere. Lucas is a really good friend to Lara Jean and I love how he encourages her.

Then there’s Josh *sigh* Lara Jean’s relationship with Josh is complex, especially because of Margot. Throughout the movie, Josh really struggles with losing his connection to the Covey sisters. While I don’t necessarily want Lara Jean and Josh to have a romantic relationship, I want them to be good friends. And P.S. I think Josh and Margot should get back together.

  5. Awesome music is AWESOME!

I mentioned that To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before hooked me before the end of the trailer, and the amazing soundtrack 100% contributed to the RomCom goodness. I hadn’t yet heard Lauv’s “I Like Me Better”, and after hearing it in the trailer and movie, I downloaded the song and played it on repeat for dayssss. Then I watched the music video on repeat for dayssss and cried at how lovely and romantic it was. Then I texted Katie, my BFF Patrice, and my sister Sey to share it with them, too. *SWOONY SIGH*

The film soundtrack, as a whole, is effervescent, just like the film– “Human Right” by The Strike, “Boyfriend” by Confidence Man, and so much more. You can listen to it on Spotify HERE.

  Friends, this film is MUSTSEE, so make sure to take time this weekend to unwind with To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and drown in teen-y, RomCom feels. You won’t regret it! And Team NETFLIX, you might as well just greenlight the sequels now. Js.

  To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before had their premiere/special screening in Los Angeles on August 16, 2018 at the Arc Light Culver City. Check out images from the screening below!

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

Courtesy of Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix

  FILM REVIEW: ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’, the Teen RomCom We Deserve To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is a wonderful end of summer treat: great acting, well-paced plot, and all the swoony, teen-y feels.