#I've just had this vision of Vash emptying sand out of his boot and I had to use it somewhere

[dozenssporks]

Sands of Time

*the video opens with Vash sitting on the ground, one boot off*

Vash: check it

*vash turns the boot upside-down and a steady stream of sand pours out.*

*The video cuts to Vash sitting on a rock in a different location, both boots on*

Vash, solemnly: hello dear viewers, today I want to share with you that I found Jesus. In fact, if the camera would turn a little to the right you too can spot him

*the shot obligingly pans right and zooms out to capture the image of Christ the Redeemer overlooking the city of Rio de Janeiro*

Vash: He's been here the whole time, apparently, or at least since the 1920s, and I honestly find it kind of strange so many people are having a hard time tracking his location. I asked a priest but-

Wolfwood, off camera: yeah, I dunno either.

Vash: so says our resident expert

Wolfwood: how am I 'resident' if I have no fixed abode, noodle-brain

Vash: I thought the punisher had it's own zip code

Meryl, from behind the camera: why am I even here if you two are just going to clown around. Why can't Father No-Fixed-Abode fulfill his regular cameraman duties

Vash: Because he won't stop zooming in on my nose when I'm talking and it's making me self-conscious

*Vash shyly covers his nose while Wolfwood cackles*

*the video cuts back to Vash pouring sand out of his boot. There's quite a sizeable pile now and Vash is watching the unflagging stream of sand with a hypnotized look*

*the video cuts back to Vash on his rock in front of Jesus. He's holding a phone that has a little angel charm attached*

Vash: another question from one of our beloved viewers . . . 'runwhiteboirun247'. They ask: as an infamous hitchhiker have you at any time, knowing before or after the fact, ridden in a car with a serial killer?

*vash looks up at the camera absolutely aghast*

Vash: I'd-I'd never thought about it-until now! Jeez! That's scary! Super-scary, runwhiteboirun! Never to my knowledge have I-oh. Wait. Hold the camera right there, please, I need to consult with my priest

*Vash gets up and walks off-screen where a murmured conversation takes place between him and Wolfwood. A few indistinct words such as, 'I don't think it counts' and 'genocide is different from homicide', while the camera wanders idly over the distant building's at Christ's feet*

*Vash sticks his head back into frame*

Vash: we're going with a soft 'no' on that question. Unless my cameraperson today is hiding anything?

Meryl: I've only wanted to throttle one person and I haven't given into the temptation yet.

*soft 'eep' noise from Vash*

*for the final time the camera cuts back to Vash emptying his boot, the pile of sand is high enough that he's having to raise the boot higher. There is about ten seconds of the hissing off falling sand before the video ends*