#I've finally found the motivation to sort out my medication for the week at 2pm
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#screaming into the void that is tumblr tags bc it helps#best decision today?#absolutely blasting EXO's El Dorado on repeat on my headphones#I've finally found the motivation to sort out my medication for the week at 2pm#when I should have taken some of it like 4 hours ago#the fucked up thing is when things are ~not good~ I often punish myself by denying myself the things I enjoy#music#reading#singing#crocheting#which is stupid because a) things are not bad by my choice so I don't deserve punishment#and b) doing the things I enjoy makes me feel a little better and gives me the spark to do other things#I don't do this deliberately#it's more along the lines of I'll reward myself with good things when I've finally gotten off my ass and done things that are actually hard#but when you can't get off your ass there'll be no rewards#I know this#yet it still happens#except when I manage to break the cycle#all this to say: thank you to EXO specifically today and to myself for making that choice#personal
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