#I've drawn them human maybe twice before

[nanapop]

In another life...

Super self indulgent drawings of the boys if they were humans. I've written a few things with them all before the plot for Demon's Fate but Vy was the only one who ever made it to the human world! (Hello potential easter eggs/extra side content hehe) so here's what they'd all look like if they left D'mensi and went to explore Earth.

Who would you wanna hang out with? 👀

[anantaru]

neuvillette eats pussy to distress

cw. oral (fem! receiving), you're a lil bratty, fem! reader

what comes out of your mouth are nothing more than short-planted whimpers, little, hesitant cries, and then a filthy moan of neuvillette's name, but you tell yourself that you do not want to give him that certain satisfaction he had longed for all night— and you sneakily trace along his scalp with your trembling fingers, he hisses when you tug on his roots, then whines into your pussy when you do it again, eyes growing wide at your fine-drawn pursue.

"there certainly is no need to hold yourself back for me." he suddenly claims and it has you avert your eyes, the way he had phrased it was almost a little too detached and apathetic to your own liking— almost as if he didn't take this whole thing serious and believed that he gave in, just for a second, in one of the lewd, obscene pleasures of human kind, before adding, "because you do, in fact, hide your voice."

"am i correct?"

"i don't!" sweet sweet liar, because you do, you've been blocking them out this entire time, "maybe you're not as good— fuck, as you think you are!"

the man laughs, a little aloof, and evidently, neuvillette was aware on what he was capable of doing to you and his fingers are cool and persistent in fucking in and out of your little hole, and despite it being only a digit, not even fully in, your toes curl and your legs clasp around his head when he adds his tongue, it has your sticky slick pooling between the folds of your cunt and merging with his spit, fuck, acting as if he didn't bring you unrecognizable pleasure was harder than you originally thought.

especially since he appeared to be exceptionally fatigued and certainly used your body as a way to distress from day to day work— for him, this type of work life balance was the most sufficient one.

neuvillette slides his warm tongue up and down your pussy in long swipes when you shiver at the mere sight of him doing so, feeling like everyone in the giant building can hear what's happening to you right this second, more so know who is pulling those lewd noises out of your sore throat.

your glowing eyes, in a sudden haste, spring open when you feel how he languidly spits on your cunt, once, twice— so you're wetter for him, he claims you taste better that way, lubricating you so he can drag his tongue into you faster, just like you so desperately wanted him to, yet in secret, you'd never tell him that— while, the chief justice most definitely preferred it if you're adequately messed up whenever he comes to see you, your exposed core luminous, hole clenching around his digits and you swear you can feel him smirk faintly, although he wasn't a man of great emotions, while proceeding in this particular task, he couldn't possibly suppress this feral, animalistic desire housing deep inside his chest, rumbling and aching for a possibility to escape.

the twist in your stomach builds up quickly, quicker than you initially had anticipated, "how— how, fuck!" you manage to say, "how are you so fucking good at this?" and your fingers find themselves wounding in his hair, holding onto him for your dear life when a tremor of cold shivers crossed over your figure when he groans into your pussy by the nature of your rough tugs on his scalp, his breath hot and wet when it ghosts over your soaked folds. 

"there they are." he moans into your cunt, not giving a single flying fuck if his face was slicked up in your juices, as said, he adored making a mess, "those noises i've been looking forward to."

at last, when he adds another finger into your hole and curls them up, the tightened thread in your stomach snaps in half and you shake violently while pinned down with one of his arms strongly locked over your stomach, with a cry of his name, that you originally preferred to stay hidden in your throat, your loud moans tumble and bounce from your lips to his ears as you cum all against his mouth so he could finally taste you.

but the long-rooted waves of your pleasure have not dissipated as he continues to flick his tongue over your clit, your slick by now basically coating the entire lower half of his face, his eyes fixated on nothing but your addictive, more so intoxicating expressions— you knew neuvillette wouldn't stop, there's no such thing as leaving a case half finished, he had a habit of prolonging your orgasm until you're overstimulated to the hilt, always, whenever he had you under him, it's his way of fucking you, until you're nothing but satisfied, such as he was whenever a trial ends with no complications.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[doumadono]

⚠️ EMERGENCY REQUEST ⚠️

Hello! I have a small request with an Aizetsu (demon slayer) with a reader who self harms? Maybe he finds out when we are having a breakdown? I've been dealing with this for about 5 years now and need some form of comfort from him. If this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to not do it. Thank you.

Empathy - Aizetsu x Reader

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST - PART 2

One night, unable to bear the weight of your dark thoughts, you wandered into the forest, hoping the cool night air might soothe your troubled mind. As you moved deeper into the woods, a strange, unsettling noise reached your ears. Curiosity and fear battled within you, but you pressed on, drawn towards the source.

You stumbled into a clearing and froze. There, under the pale moonlight, was a figure, hunched over another. Blood gleamed darkly on the ground, and its metallic scent filled your nostrils. You realized with a jolt of horror that the figure was feeding. Your breath caught in your throat, and a terrified gasp escaped your lips.

The demon's head snapped up, and you locked eyes with him. His sorrowful, blue eyes widened in surprise, then softened with an almost human sadness. He slowly stood, the lifeless body of his victim slipping from his grasp. For a moment, you were certain he would come after you, but he remained still, his gaze locked on yours.

"Run," he said softly, and the corners of his mouth curled upward in a wry grin as the blood dripped down his chin.

You didn't need to be told twice. Heart pounding, you turned and fled, your mind a whirlwind of fear and confusion. You ran until your legs gave out, collapsing at the edge of the village, gasping for breath. The image of those sorrowful eyes haunted you, mixing with the ever-present pain in your heart.

Despite your terror, something compelled you to return to the forest. Maybe it was the shared sorrow in those eyes... Days passed, and you found yourself wandering the same path, hoping and dreading to see him again.

This time, he was sitting on a fallen log, his back to you, staring at the ground as he played with a spear he held in his hand. He didn't seem to notice you until you were only a few steps away. When he looked up, his expression was filled with the same sorrow and regret you had seen before.

Your fear hadn't entirely vanished when you asked openly, "Why didn't you chase me?"

"I felt your pain," he replied simply. "I sensed a great darkness within you, a sadness so heavy that it would have made your flesh taste awful."

You looked down at your hands, tracing the scars that marred your skin. "I hurt myself because it feels like the only way to make the pain inside stop, even for just a moment."

"Hurting yourself won't make the pain go away. It only deepens the sorrow. I understand the need to escape, but there are other ways."

"But how? How do I find another way?"

He sighed deeply, looking directly at you with his blue eyes with kanji written in his pupils. "By finding something, someone, to hold onto. You mortals cherish life more than anything else, so hold onto it."

You collapsed at his feet, sobbing uncontrollably. "I can't escape the pain," you cried, your voice breaking. "It consumes me, and I don't know what to do. I want to disappear. End my life, demon for there is nothing good in it for me," you begged.

He gently lifted your chin, his touch colder than you expected. "I won't do that, little mortal."

"Why?" you pleaded, tears streaming down your face. "Why won't you end my suffering?! You're a demon! You hunt people down to devour them! So act just like your nature tells you to!"

"Your life, no matter how burdened with sorrow, is precious. Your existence holds meaning, even if you can't see it right now. And you have a choice. And you're about to choose wrong."

You stared at him, shocked by his compassion and the depth of his understanding. "But you're a demon," you said, your voice barely audible. "Why do you care about a mortal like me?"

Aizetsu's sorrowful eyes softened even more, a hint of a sad smile playing on his lips. "Because I, too, know what it means to suffer. My existence is bound to sorrow, but that also means I understand the depths of your pain. I care because, in our shared sorrow, we can find a way to endure."

A sob escaped your lips as his words cut through your despair. His touch, still cold, now seemed almost comforting. "But how?" you whispered, your voice trembling. "How can I find a way to endure when every moment is agony?"

Aizetsu's fingers gently brushed away your tears and brought his digits upon his lips to taste them, his expression a mixture of empathy and melancholy. "You endure by finding even the smallest glimmer of hope," he said softly. "You endure because your suffering is not the end, but a chapter in your story."

You felt a strange warmth emanating from him, not in temperature, but in the sheer weight of his empathy. "But what if I can't?" you asked, the hopelessness threatening to drown you again.

His eyes, pools of infinite sorrow, held yours firmly. "Then you lean on those who care for you, even if that creature is a demon like me."

[jamiethebeeart]

Danny Phantom AU for the League (explanation under the cut)

There's a common (?) idea in the phandom that Sam dyes her hair black (or that her mom bleach her hair from black) and asdfghj that fits so well for Dabi. I can also see him being edgy and wearing eyeliner (he would tightline and you can't convince me otherwise) and eyeshadow to piss off Endeavor. (You can hardly see it, but I promise he has purple eyeshadow under his eyes.) I've been thinking about it and I'm not sure how Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Shoto would fit into this AU. Cousins? Maybe just siblings, and ignore Sam's only child-ness.

LINK (X) ok so I have drawn this before and I stand by Hana as Jazz and Tenko/Tomura as Fenton/Phantom. :)))) Danny's hair in the og art style makes no damn sense. Many an artist has bemoaned it (me included), so I decided to make Shigaraki's also confounding. (it's like??? a mullet???? but the mullet has layers????) Danny having Lichtenberg figure scars has recently had a resurgence in phandom and it's the perfect excuse to keep the scars around Shigaraki's mouth/eyes. (To symbolize the "scary eyes" and ghost sense.) Shigaraki gets to keep Danny's whole "getting new powers every time he needs to" shtick: one - because it's funny and two - it ties into the whole AFO quirk plotline. SPEAKING OF. AFO gets to take Vlad's place :)))) except!!! I think it'd work better if AFO was a "friend" of Tenko's grandmother and that's how he's weaseled his way into the family. No Vlad wanting Maddie and killing Jack subplot. Just AFO up to his usual shenanigans. I'm on the fence about whether or not Dabi would secretly be a kickass gamer (Sam was, but only kept it a secret because of 2000s misogyny about girls playing games.... idk how that'd transfer to Dabi other than Dabi trying to maintain a "too cool for that" image....)

(Hana as Jazz. Jazz loves her brother and tries to support him but is also overbearing and ignores what he says in favor of what she wants. I feel like an older Hana would fit into that well.... not that we know much about Hana, but from what can be gathered I think it'd fit. And Danny wanted a dog! Eventually has Cujo tagging along! Also a very good mirror for Mon and Tenko.)

Tucker! Spinner! my loves!!!! I wasn't sure originally if I wanted Spinner to be a ghost or a human, but as we can see I plopped him in Tucker's role. Because it fits so well. (I still vividly remember the post about "who loves Danny more? Valerie or Sam. the answer: neither, it's Tucker. Savant Par and Spinaraki mimicing the much larger fanbase for Amethyst Ocean and Shigadabi) Also, Spinner getting to connect with Tenko over games (DOOMED) and technology. I imagine that Spinner wears a bandana to cover up his roots showing. I see Tucker as taking special care of his appearance, but I don't see where Spinner's like that, so he gets a lazier option :) Oooooh should I give Spinner glasses? ooooh I bet he'd have glasses, but never want to wear them because they'd make him look nerdy. Anyway, just like Tucker and Danny, Spinner would face his fears to help and support Shigaraki :))))) (crying over his devotion)

Other Characters:

Dash, Paulina, Kwan, and Star? Maybe Uraraka and Toga as Johnny 13 and Kitty? hehehee could be cute. the fights and getting back together and Toga having to blow off steam in the human world? Kwan befriends Sam and Tucker, so maybe Twice would fit into Kwan's role? OH!!! And then have Hawks be Dash. (I don't think anyone has ever shipped Sam and Dash but that's why this is an AU.)

Deku can be Poindexter.... cause bullying (asdfghj yea it sidelines Deku a bit and sticks him in a very minor role and is an easy choice, but!! some fics make Poindexter and Danny kind of friends!! I think that'd be a nice mirror to what Shigaraki and Deku could've been - along with the initial misunderstandings that Poindexter has about Danny mirroring the way that Deku had to learn more about Shigaraki.

Ember? Maybe as Compress.... he has the theatrics DOWN lmao. And Magne as part of the band perhaps? That'd be cute.

(I don't feel like I know enough about Mustard to put him in any specific role.....)

OOOH Bakugou as Dora! The Dragon Amulet transformation mirroring Bakugou's angry outbursts!

[rottenpumpkin13]

*drops down from the trees by grappling hook with a birthday cake*

Dedicated to @altocat, who brightens everyone's day with her wonderful writing and headcanons 🎂 ❤️ Here's my attempt at bittersweet Glenn and Sephiroth fluff.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Sephiroth liked the smell of what Hojo was quick to label as 'dirt and grime'—the damp earth beneath his boots, the smell of fresh morning raindrops dripping from the trees overhead, the crisp mountain breeze that carried notes of pine and flowers.

It filled his lungs and reminded him that he breathed, as any other human being, and that there was more to the world than his obligations and Shinra's conquests.

Glenn and Sephiroth sat perched atop a rugged cliff, their backs against the cool, weathered rocks overlooking a sprawling ravine that stretched far below. Sephiroth's gaze wandered over the expanse before them. Gently letting his eyes flutter shut, he wished he could drink it all up, treating it like an addictive drug he would consume forever if he could.

Glenn extended a glass soda bottle towards him, its oddly-colored contents gleaming in the sunlight as he gradually opened his eyes. The whimsical label was adorned with a cheerful moogle proudly showing off its drink, and the words Kupo Pop! Secret Flavor!

"I don't understand why the ingredients can't be labeled on the bottle," Sephiroth, ever the skeptic, remarked as he accepted the glass bottle.

Glenn rolled his eyes as the younger boy began turning the bottle around, reading the scattered words for any hints as to what it contained. "Go ahead, give it a try," he encouraged, twisting the cap from his own blueberry soda. "Part of the fun is in the mystery, you know. Maybe the secret is that it's just irresistibly delicious."

Sephiroth looked up, his lips a thin line as he stared pointedly ahead. "Secrets aren't fun.”

"But they can be," Glenn countered, pointing his bottle at him. "They're fun to keep, fun to share, and most importantly, fun to savor." With a light clink, Glenn tapped his bottle against Sephiroth's.

Sephiroth's lips would have easily been confused with a squiggly line drawn by a child on paper. He frowned, staring down at the bottle with unease, his choppy hair falling over his eyes. "Aren't there supposed to be… orange flavors? I've heard about orange soda.”

Glenn nearly spat out his mouthful of blueberry as he pulled it from his lips. "Woah, you've never had soda before?"

Glenn's surprise was evident as Sephiroth shook his head in response. He tried not to let his jaw fall slack as he lifted his hand to his face, scratching at his stubble. “Huh…. How about that. Well don't worry. I'd never give you something you wouldn’t like."

Sephiroth arched a single eyebrow, looking mildly annoyed. "That's what you said about the marshmallows.” His hands clenched around the glass bottle. “They tasted funny."

“Ha!” Glenn nudged him. “Hey, it's not my fault you're a weird little dude who doesn't like marshmallows.”

As he drained the contents of his soda, Sephiroth looked back down at his own. Determined, he grabbed the bottle opener from the dusty ground and hooked it to the cap.

Gradually, Sephiroth braced himself and took a swig of the mysterious soda. Glenn watched, unblinking as Sephiroth squeezed his eyes shut and gulped it down.

Instantly, a sharp sensation tingled and bubbled in his throat. Acid? Not good. He instinctively spat it out, hacking and coughing.

Glenn erupted into laughter, letting his bottle fall to his lap as he clapped. Sephiroth cleared his throat twice, water lining his widened, green eyes.

"Is it supposed to burn?" Sephiroth spluttered, wiping his lips with the back of his wrist. His voice tinged with a mixture of surprise and discomfort, which would've made Glenn feel horribly guilty if it weren't hilarious.

Sephiroth The Great, defeated by a mystery Kupo Pop flavor. Matt and Lucia would never believe it.

Leaning back against the rocky ledge, Glenn's laughter subsided as he regarded Sephiroth with amusement. "Well, what does it taste like?"

Sephiroth paused, gathering his thoughts after the unexpected attempt on his life.

"I don't know. I was caught off guard by the burning. I forgot to notice the flavor."

Reluctantly, Sephiroth took another sip—small this time, less overwhelming. He was cautious as he contemplated the taste lingering on his tongue, his face twisting along with his flickering thoughts.

"Passion fruit," he declared after a moment of contemplation.

Glenn arched an eyebrow skeptically. "Hm. Is it offensive that I doubt whether you know what passion fruit tastes like?"

His tone was teasing, but he was serious. He barely knew what passion fruit tasted like. Exotic fruits were hard to come by in Midgar, and when they did, he wasn't willing to break open his wallet to succumb to expensive curiosity.

Sephiroth shifted uncomfortably, averting his eyes as he traced patterns on the bottle's icy condensation. “When Professor Hojo has my dental impressions done, the alginate has a passion fruit flavor.” He shrugged. “Or at least it used to when I was very young. Now it tastes like nothing."

Glenn's unease at the mention of Professor Hojo flickered briefly across his features, but he hid it well for Sephiroth's sake.

He suppressed the urge to make a joke about the mundanity of adult life— “Hey kid! Welcome to the real world, where everything is bitter and sweetness is rare.” That's what he would've said had it been anyone other than the boy sitting by his side, the child who should be able to taste passionfruit—and soda—and marshmallows. And freedom.

Glenn reached around, patting Sephiroth on the back as he masked his discontentment with a subtle grin. "Remind me to buy you a real passionfruit when we're back in Midgar.”

Sephiroth's smile held a touch of gratitude, but he said nothing else. His gaze lingered on the bottle in his hand, lost in thought.

Back in Sephiroth's mind, the passion fruit soda now tasted like a suffocating hand shoving itself down his throat, forcing him to throw everything good and whole he had digested back up in hopes of feeding him misery.

Glenn didn't like it when Sephiroth went quiet. "So!” He promoted, stretching his arms. “Secrets aren't fun? How come?”

"No," Sephiroth replied solemnly, his voice tinged with a hint of bitterness. "They're barriers—walls built to control and keep you happy."

His conviction weighed the air around them. Glenn needed to distract him. "And do you have any secrets?" he tried gently.

Sephiroth looked up, his gaze translucent, unblinking. "There's nothing I haven't told you," he confessed. “And there's nothing I wouldn't tell you.” He pressed his lips together and straightened his back, probably trying to sound mature but cracking under Glenn's wiser gaze. “Not that I keep anything. From anyone.”

A quiet, almost inaudible “It's not like I can” reached Glenn's ears, but he chose to ignore it in favor of an idea that arose just as it was needed.

Glenn huffed. “Alright. How about I tell you one of mine then?”

Sephiroth listened intently, the cold glass of the bottle pressing against his reddened, ungloved fingers.

"Okay so. A few years ago when I was a rookie…I was a part of this mission out to the Gongaga region. I was supposed to be watching over our materia stash, since the group was small and we were camped out in the jungle. I thought it was a good idea to bury them in the dirt by the river. Little did I know how rainstorms are a daily occurrence in the jungle.”

He paused for dramatic effect, savoring the way Sephiroth's eyes went wide along with his smile.

“They all got washed away.”

The reveal was punctuated by a sudden fit of laughter from Sephiroth.

“But I didn't get in trouble,” Glenn continued, laughing too. “I blamed it on a random bandit attack and told a story about how I valiantly fought them off, but they took the materia.”

Sephiroth doubled over with laughter, leaning back. His bubbly cries echoed throughout the ravine. His cheeks were rosy, the sunlight caught in his silver hair just as the breeze messed it up, making him look every bit the kid he was.

Glenn pinched the bridge of his nose, his shoulders shaking as he chuckled. "Now that's my biggest secret, so don't go around telling anyone, alright?"

Sephiroth's laughter faded. His demeanor shifted gradually. While he still maintained a small smile, he swung his legs over the rocky drop, looking down into the ravine.

"Don't worry. I don't have anyone.”

Glenn's heart sank, a pang of remorse gnawing at his insides.

After a few moments where they were both enveloped in a cloud of guilt—Glenn with his foot in his mouth and Sephiroth’s desire to eat his own words—Glenn mustered the courage to break the tension.

He turned his body to him fully. "You know, Sephiroth, you're such a great kid," he began, sounding as earnest as he could.

Sephiroth looked up, surprise flickering in his eyes. "I am?"

Glenn grinned. "Duh. You're the coolest kid I've ever met. You're responsible, and fun to be around, not to mention smart as hell."

Sephiroth’s reddened cheeks complimented his smile. He opened his mouth to reply, but was inside of what to say. He wasn't used to being paid any compliments—at least, none about who he was as a person.

But it didn't matter. Glenn wasn't finished. The older boy's expression turned playful as nudged Sephiroth. "So watch out, because one day you'll have a lot of people to tell my secret to, and if you do, I'll kick your ass.”

Sephiroth looked down, clearly unsure. “I don't think…ah…I don't know.”

Glenn knew. He was certain of it. "Tell you what," he said. "When you find those people—and you will—promise me you'll tell them my secret. I'll probably be too old to care anyway."

Sephiroth's gaze softened, a flicker of mischief in the tone of his subsequent hum. "Older?"

Glenn rolled his eyes and responded with a playful punch to Sephiroth's arm, the impact light but affectionate.

"Promise me,” he pressed, his gaze locking with Sephiroth's. He was dead serious.

Sephiroth's expression softened, his resolve firm as he met Glenn's gaze.

"I promise," he nodded.

Sephiroth would only come to realize Just How naive he was at that age years later. Sometimes he could hear Glenn's satisfied “I told you so” whispering to him, and Sephiroth would give anything to have heard it from him.

Years passed since that day.

Sephiroth found himself seated on that same exact cliff overlooking the ravine. The warm, late April sun bathed the landscape in a warm glow, the gentle breeze carrying with it the scents of pine and earth. Just as it had been back then.

Although there were some key differences. In his hand, Sephiroth held an unopened bottle of Kupo Pop, raspberry flavor—since the secret flavor had been discontinued long ago.

He still found no appeal in fizzy drinks, but he hoped the memory concealed within the burn would be bittersweet.

“Hey,” Genesis approached from behind with a bottle of orange soda and a small smile. "Do you want to trade? I'm not nearly as not fond of orange as you are.”

Sephiroth nodded in agreement, accepting the offer and exchanging bottles.

Genesis plopped down on his left, muttering something about the dirt sticking to his coat. The clicks and flash of a camera signaled Angeal's arrival at the rocky cliff edge.

He excitedly snapped as many shots as he could of the trees, the ravine, the waterfall, and several keepsakes of their trek up the mountain.

Sephiroth looked up. "I don't think you got enough pictures" he quipped with a teasing smile.

Angeal settled down on Sephiroth's right—side-eyeing Genesis, who began shaking his soda bottle absentmindedly.

"I can never take enough.” Angeal settled the camera around his neck. “Pictures only do so much. They don't exactly encapsulate the memory you're trying to preserve.” Angeal’s tone was thoughtful as he gazed out at the breathtaking view.

Sephiroth nodded in agreement, his gaze drifting to the horizon. "I guess it's all in the special moments.”

Genesis twisted off the cap of his bottle, only to be met with a sudden eruption of fizz. The red soda sprayed all over them, prompting a chorus of startled reactions. Genesis let out a shriek, his expression shifting rapidly from embarrassment to frustration. Angeal screamed a swear as he covered his camera. Sephiroth laughed, wiping the red drink from his face.

"Is Genesis being an idiot a special moment?" Angeal snapped.

Genesis attempted to deflect blame, his face a mix of embarrassment and indignation as he flicked a soaked lock of hair from his eyes.

"Hey, it's not my fault! Sephiroth handed me the bottle like that.”

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes, then uncapped his orange soda. "Genesis, I just watched you shake the bottle.”

“But—!”

“Don't gaslight Angeal.” Sephiroth took a swig of the drink.

Meanwhile Angeal let out a violent snort. "He thinks it's an apple juice can," Angeal chuckled, punctuating his words with a mock shaking motion with his fist. “You know? The kind you have to shake first?”

Sephiroth snorted, pulling the bottle away from his lips quickly before he spat it out.

The pair fell into a fit of laughter, leaning on each other. The moment was definitely made funnier by the way Genesis was completely drenched in the soda.

Genesis shrugged sheepishly, acknowledging his blunder with a self-deprecating grin. "Shit. Muscle memory, I suppose," he admitted, his laughter mixing with theirs.

Once the moment faded into a comfortable silence, they each became lost in their own thoughts as they savored the serenity of their surroundings. Genesis contentedly sipped the remainder of Sephiroth's orange soda, while Angeal focused his attention on capturing the beauty of the waterfall below with his camera.

Sephiroth's mind wandered, his thoughts drifting back to that day, to Glenn, to their conversation and the passion fruit soda.

He was fortunate enough to have to keep his promise.

With a sense of resolve settling over him, he broke the silence. "I need to tell you both a secret.”

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 15: Kinslayer

You know the drill. Don't read if you don't want spoilers for the whole series.

This chapter has the heron-marked blade icon, the purpose of which is probably related to the picture I've chosen for this particular entry, just saying.

Again they crossed land blackened and burned, even the soil crunching under the horses’ hooves as if it had been seared. The burned swathes, sometimes a mile wide, sometimes only a few hundred paces, all ran east and west as straight as an arrow’s flight. Twice Rand saw the end of a burn, once as they rode over it, once as they passed nearby; they tapered to points at the ends.

This is one of several odd and unexplained details. It seems to be the scar of a rather more high-tech sort of warfare might cause this but not the Renaissance fare of the subcontinent.

There were no birds or animals, not that Rand saw or heard. No hawk wheeling in the sky, no bark of a hunting fox, no bird singing. Nothing rustled in the grass or lit on a tree branch. No bees, or butterflies. ...never a minnow or tadpole wriggled out of the roiling, not even a waterspider dancing across the surface, or a hovering lacewing.

Virtually everything is dead, which really makes it all the more impressive that the grass and trees are doing okay. I'm not quite sure on the life cycle of grasses and maybe they do fine without animals but trees often like it when animals eat their seeds and poop them out somewhere better. Knowing what we know of this mirror world, there may have been a replacement for a time... but this place is alarmingly empty and with the entire animal kingdom gone, there's an ecological collapse in this world's future. Will the Wheel keep spinning this mirror after that point? Is there an outside intervention planned to keep this catastrophe at bay? Lots of weird considerations for these what-ifs.

There was one sign of life; at least, Rand thought it must be so. Twice he saw a wispy streak crawling across the sky like a line drawn with cloud. The lines were too straight to be natural, it seemed, but he could not imagine what might make them.

Another thing that never gets solved. Even the Encyclopedia offers only a guess, though what a guess it is: contrails. On the one hand, planes are ridiculous in this part of history, but on the other... It does explain the burns, if planes were conducting air raids.

The reveal's not til next chapter, but I'm gonna cover the guesswork now anyway: yes, they are contrails. One possibility is that this world's Forsaken, lacking any particular obstacles, have whipped up a sho-wing and are making absolutely sure everything in this part of the world is dead, but considering what their aircraft would have been firing on (Trollocs), that's not entirely coherent.

The other possibility is the Seanchan. Not the Seanchan Empire we know about, forged into a singular identity by the a'dam, but the Seanchan that would have existed if Artur Hawkwing and all of his descendants had conveniently died six years before the fleet was sent across the sea. A Seanchan that never invented the a'dam at all and continued to have strong, free channelers who dominated their societies. Perhaps after another thousand years they managed to find some kind of stability, improved their tech far beyond the stifled totalitarian empire ever could, and came back across the sea a few years ahead of schedule. Instead of discovering a continent of other humans, they found hordes of ravenous demons and understandably dedicated themselves to wiping them out. Rand sees them here on reconnaissance as they search the devastated land for signs of any last communities to obliterate.

This also explains why the grolm are present. They've been on the Seanchan continent since before Luthair showed up, which means they can't be sourced from this particular iteration of the continent because it hadn't diverged yet. But the native mirror!Seanchan could absolutely have used the ones they had for the same purpose they were put to in the homeland, which promptly overwhelmed whatever was left of the native biome after a thousand years of Trollocs.

Or maybe it's some other thing we'll never know. Thank you for reading my fanfic.

When he had heard Loial sing before, it had been as if the earth itself sang, but now the Ogier murmured his song almost diffidently, and the land echoed it in a whisper.

Frankly given the metaphysics of the place, it's almost a miracle that the land could sing back.

In his hands Loial held a staff as tall as he was and as thick as Rand’s forearm, smooth and polished. Where the trunk had been on the giantsbroom was a small stem of new growth.

Let's keep an eye on this mirror-staff, shall we?

“Everything is . . . linked, Rand. Whether it lives or not, whether it thinks or not, everything that is, fits together. The tree does not think, but it is part of the whole, and the whole has a—a feeling. I can’t explain any more than I can explain what being happy is, but. . . . Rand, this land was glad for a weapon to be made. Glad!”

After everything it's seen and the abuse it's gotten from the Trollocs and the burns, it's probably grateful for any chance to make a positive impact for the prime reality. Surely it must know that it's not what it used to be and feel the weird spatial distortions that the group keeps seeing.

The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. He squeezed that thought out.

Too late Rand, Moiraine's infected you!

It’s like I’m remembering it, Lord Rand, instead of smelling it. But I’m not. There’s dozens of trails crossing it all the time, dozens and dozens, and all sorts of smells of violence, some of them fresh, almost, only washed out like everything else.

One of the conveniences about being so far outside of the prime reality where the only impressions of the future you can get are magics that none of these three have on hand is that everything else has to bend around in anticipation to stay out of the way. It's a miracle they don't see what they're going to do over the next few days right in front of them.

Rand kept their fire small and well hidden in the trees.

If my "the Seanchan Aerial Corps is currently sweeping the region looking for Shadowspawn" theory is remotely true, everyone's paranoia over Fain is the only thing that kept them from being firebombed out of existence.

Then why is he running instead of chasing me? And what killed that Fade? What happened in that room full of flies? And those eyes, watching me in Fal Dara. And that wind, catching me like a beetle in pine sap. No. No, Ba’alzamon has to be dead.

Really one of the high points of this series is that few if any of Rand's questions here get fully and explicitly answered in the text. Nothing happens for bullshit motivations or entirely out of line with what's possible in the series, but there's just something weird about all of it.

The chill moon was almost full, standing high in the blackness, and the night was as silent as the day had been, as empty.

It's good to know that despite this world clearly getting very reduced resources from the Wheel that the moon is still operating correctly. After a thousand years of not giving a fuck and bizarre geometry, it wouldn't be at all surprising if the heavens were out of wack.

“Swords do no good against me, Lews Therin. You should know that.”

I would just like it on the record that it is complete horsefeathers that Ishamael - real Ishamael and not mirror Ish, which would be very funny but also play out somewhat differently - can still track Rand across dimensions like this. I mean it's not of course, but it does make you wonder how dreamers can find anyone in T'A'R instead of just close enough versions of their targets - there should be nearly an infinite number of sleepers at any given moment.

“I know you, know your blood and your line back to the first spark of life that ever was, back to the First Moment. You can never hide from me. Never! We are tied together as surely as two sides of the same coin. Ordinary men may hide in the sweep of the Pattern, but ta’veren stand out like beacon fires on a hill, and you, you stand out as if ten thousand shining arrows stood in the sky to point you out! You are mine, and ever in reach of my hand!”

Ishamael: Infinite tries means eventually one of them will be successful.

Also Ishamael: There was a First Moment which inherently means we've done this a finite number of times. Also we're never apart, Rand. Let's homoerotically wrestle.

“You find odd followers,” Ba’alzamon mused. “You always did. These two. The girl who tries to watch over you. A poor guardian and weak, Kinslayer. If she had a lifetime to grow, she would never grow strong enough for you to hide behind.”

I dunno, I feel like Rand absolutely could have hidden behind late series Egwene without much effort. He never would for so many reasons (and frankly by that point she'd say no too), but she absolutely could have been his human shield if he'd wanted her to be.

I have a thousand strings tied to you, Kinslayer, each one finer than silk and stronger than steel. Time has tied a thousand cords between us.

Now prepare to be strangled by the Red String!

This time the Wheel will be broken whatever you do, and the world remade to a new mold.

And this is probably the only time that Ishamael states the actual truth: the Dark One won't unmake existence the way he wants him to. It's a shame he only realizes this when he's crazy. If he knew there was absolutely no hope of getting out of the game, he'd probably switch back to the winning side on the ground's that it's marginally better.

Or actually knowing smart people and irrational decisions he'd probably double down and say something about how infinity makes it so there's no real objective difference between outcomes and anyway Rand or whoever pointed it out to him should shut up and die.

“Look at me, Kinslayer, and see the hundredth part of your own fate.” For a moment eyes and mouth became doorways into endless caverns of fire. “This is what the Power unchecked can do, even to me. But I heal, Lews Therin. I know the paths to greater power. It will burn you like a moth flying into a furnace.”

He's really doing his best to sell the whole, "You fucked me up ago and I'm in unbearable physical pain but despite an infinitely long track record saying otherwise I'm totally gonna beat you this time, bro". Especially with all of the homoeroticism. Rand's next lines are "I won't touch it!" and "I won't", which is clearly about the Power and yet somehow even in context sexually charged as a response to Ishamael taking off his mask after Rand begs him not to.

“I can teach you to control that power so that it does not destroy you. No one else lives who can teach you that... The power can be yours, and you can live forever. Forever! All you must do in return is serve. Only serve. Simple words—I am yours, Great Lord—and power will be yours...”

This is a much better sell and frankly he should have led with this because letting Rand get used to saying no means he's got the inertia going despite the temptations. That or he shoulda kept Rand here for the full forty days, cuz grasslands or no this place is clearly desert.

I imagined it all. Frantically, he looked around. Ba’alzamon was gone. Hurin shifted in his sleep; the sniffer and Loial were still only two mounds sticking up out of the low fog. I did imagine it.

"Yay! I'm descending into the madness that will lead me to kill everyone around me and/or everyone I love!"

Seriously the only reason he's not worrying about this is that there's no time, the narrative has a different sucker punch in mind.

There across the palm was branded a heron. The heron from the hilt of his sword, angry and red, as neatly done as though drawn with an artist’s skill. Fumbling a kerchief from his coat pocket, he wrapped it around his hand. The hand throbbed, now. The void would help with that—he was aware of pain in the void, but he did not feel it—but he put the thought out of his head.

And so an exciting part of prophecy is fulfilled, but much more importantly: Rand teaches himself one of his worst coping mechanisms by putting the part of himself that feels pain into a box and ignoring it. From this temporary injury where it is a useful thing to do under the circumstances, Rand is heading for much larger forms of unhelpful denial.

Ishamael would have been so much smarter to just dose the kid with opium.

Anyway, see y'all next time!

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 s02E08 Soul Mates

s02 Table of Contents • previous episode

oh god. All three of Londo Mollari's wives. Minus two. Sounds very slightly more manageable. To watch.

What kind of mind trick was that? Stoner, lol. Maybe it’s the scent of dank weed floating off him.

No. I just made a very weird noise. Talia's ex husband Matt Stoner has arrived on B5. This is going to be an episode of all time. I can just tell.

Timov: "I won't bite, Vir." Vir: “With all due respect, madam, that's not what I heard." Timov: “All right....that one time." Vir: “It was...it was twice..."

Oh, Centauri. why. Them Being Like That is, so far, kinda funny, kinda repelling. While being unfairly interesting, actually. I'm getting to be fond of complaining about them. And I also realized today that part of what repels me about them is that I feel unwillingly voyeuristic whenever they get heterosexually dysfunctional.

^ actually me whenever the Centauri whip out a tentacle or overshare about their painfully hetero sex lives

Another wife has arrived! I quite like these two women interacting.

John Sheridan, my heart just grew three sizes. That's so sweet! Friends and allies!

ashfdsjhfd. OK. I have to pause and quote this Ivanova and Delenn interaction because I just put my hands over my face and scream-laughed for a minute over Delenn's hair.

Delenn, all but vibrating in rage: "Commander. I want you to understand. I acquired human characteristics to bring your people and mine closer together. To symbolize our mutuality! It is supposed to be a dignified, inspiring transition for both humans and Minbari. So will you, please, explain to me, why this - this - this *rips at hair*" Ivanova: "Hair." Delenn *rips at a trapped hairbrush* "...refuses to cooperate?!"

This is also everything I ever wanted. And also why my hair is never allowed to grow longer than my chin before I whack it off.

Delenn: "Please. I trust you."

my heart

Oh, Talia. My heart again, for totally different reasons. PsiCorps are shits.

And G'Kar!! I've missed G'Kar. His armor is getting prettier and prettier I swear.

So shimmery and shiny!

I could watch Daggair and Timov all day.

Daggair: "Your problem, Timov, is that you've never known your place." Timov: "My place? You once threatened to break a vase over his head." Daggair, laughing: "Well, that...that, was the impetuousness of youth." Timov: "That was last month."

Timov definitely has Londo's number. I agree with her, Daggair is definitely up to something.

Timov: "The secret of our marriage's success, Londo, is our lack of communication. You have jeopardized that success, and I would know why."

This is absolutely, hands down, the funniest, most engaging, and delightful Centauri episode so far. I love Timov so much. She can come back whenever she likes.

Happy 30th Ascension Day, Londo.

Wow, a two-out-of-three divorce is a great 30th Ascension Day gift from the emperor. Well, any one wish within his power is a great gift, but it totally tracks that Londo would use it to get out of as many arranged marriages as possible (while insisting that it's a valid way of life and other people should just shut up and take the marriages).

I like the staggered introduction of Mollari wives.

I bet the props department had a ton of fun coming up with alien artifacts.

Lennier is back!!! He's so sweet. Checking to make sure the hair curlers aren't painful. I must disagree with Delenn: they may not be physically painful, but they're a psychological torment.

This tension between Garibaldi and Matt Stoner is delightful. He's clearly a shit, but he and Garibaldi have banger chemistry.

Londo: "Be careful. I should have warned you. On Earth, you have these creatures - insects attracted to flames?" Sheridan: "Uh, yes. Moths. They're drawn to flames and bright lights, and get burned." Londo: "Mariel is drawn to men of power in that same way. But trust me - she burns them."

I like her.

My most insistent inclination right now is that Londo will stay married to Timov. But I could also see him staying with Mariel just because she's the youngest, or he admires her zest for burning powerful men. Or Daggair, since she's flattering his ego on this trip. It'll be interesting to see how this goes! Perhaps this divorce is a fake-out and he'll end up using his favor for something completely unrelated.

Fuck U Matt. Leave her alone.

This is definitely a case of the cure being worse than the sickness. Losing telepathy after a lifetime of having it sounds traumatic. Losing it to get out of PsiCorps grip if there's no other option - potentially worth it, depending on the individual. Having your creepy ex arrange for it, thus giving his obsessed and gross self something to hold over you? Nooo. No thank you.

Talia, to Garibaldi: "Please, keep out of this. It's not your concern." Garibaldi: "I...I feel it is." Talia: "Feel differently."

TELL HIM SIS. Fuck yes. Talia telling men to fuck off instead of appeasing them and de-escalating is a glorious thing to behold.

Londo: "You haven't changed." Timov: "You have. You've devolved."

Your honor, I love her.

:( I'm sorry you're apologizing to Gaibaldi, Talia.

And that you're considering leaving with Matt!

Understandable feelings, F- risk assessment.

Londo and G'Kar's fighting is as delightful as ever! Londo could do so much with his brainpower if he devoted it to anything worthwhile, and this is obvious because he's so good at fucking with G'Kar.

Lennier is so fucking cute. Londo is going to cheat so hard with those marked cards.

Murder via ancient, Centauri artifact is a pretty interesting way to take someone out.

Obviously Matt Stoner sucks, but I continue to love him and Garibaldi interacting.

Awwww, Timov.

"Whatever you think of me, doctor, I have some principles that even twenty years with Londo can't erase."

oh my god. hahahahaha I love her.

Security Officer: "There's just something about [Matt] that makes you wanna like him."

Hmmmm. Residual PsiPowers?

Franklin: "Ambassador Mollari, do you mind if make one personal observation? Londo: "No, not at all." Franklin: "Stick it." Londo: "How odd. I didn't even know we were married."

That's a pretty good one. I tolerate the Centauri Boomer Humor a lot better when it's less hetero.

Matt definitely has some latent PsiPowers. Shake it off, Talia! Kick him in the nads!

Well, setting him up to being hit by Garibaldi is OK too, I guess.

I did wonder if Mariel was responsible for the poisoning. Love her. And G'Kar! He continues to be a total delight and I love seeing him interact with new people.

Matt: "Look into my mind. No shields. No tricks." Talia: "No chance."

Good plan. A+ risk assessment. That's character growth!

It is slightly laudable that Londo prefers to have honestly over flattery in his stable relationships.

:( oh fuck, poor Delenn. Menstruating is not something you wanna pick up, especially when it comes with cramps. :(

next episode

[mouseywousey]

Beaded eyes blinked at the mouse, but gave a tip of his top hat nonetheless. "Pardon my intrusion, but I wish to ask… have you ever gone on any enticing journeys? Would you ever like to, if you've not found the chance?"

[ From Hershel Layton ]

The mouse looked up at the strange professor now, definitely remembering all the adjectives for the word " short " at this point in time. I mean, look at the guy! He seemed to be twice the height of Mousey, not even including the peculiar hat that he had just tipped towards the rodent in greeting. Still, what a polite manner this human seemed to be greeting the toon in. Entertaining the interaction, Mousey makes a little bow gesture, barely able to hold back a grin.

" Oh, journeys, huh? Ya' want me to recount tales of my various feats and adventures? I mean, I haven't been drawn on this earth for that long ... "

The mouse just states this plainly as if it made any sense out of context whatsoever before continuing.

" I've definitely been on some rather exciting escapades in my time, though ! I can tell ya' about the time I visited a farm and left with a mouth's full of grapes ! Ooh, or the time I swindled treasure from a monstrous serpent ! That thing was huge, I tell ya' ... ! "

It definitely seemed excited about the prospect of sharing these tales. The rodent was practically beaming now, their tail already twitching a bit in excitement. After all, why not recount these ol' memories? It would be just like living through them a second time, strengthening the fond memories with conversation. And, hey, maybe this professor had a few interesting tidbits of his own to share!

[renticat]

I wish I don't Derive My Happiness From New Things

I wish I don't derive my happiness from new things, new people, new experience Because I can't afford it I can't afford any of those things anymore and I don't think I can't go through long sleep of sadness anymore

Fuck, before I even started In my mind it's already buzzing with many words, jumbled sentences—well because I am not a native to this language—yeah not even my mother tongue has all the words I wanted to express It's because I have too many things going on on my mind and I feel like I only have one chance because after that everything is fall apart. Just like this beautiful white boots once I really want And then after I used it twice I already want something new because the feeling has left. Maybe I am infatuated with the infatuation itself,

Infatuated with these repeating dreams I never have the chance to live it Because everything is upside down here in Australia No, I mean in my world Oh and my head filled also with some saying from people once I cared too much now they don't even remember me perhaps I am sad. I am sad, but I know I am not insane It's just like when everyone drinking wine And you choose not to because you don't like the taste of it, they will consider you insane. Try it. I tried and it's not for me

I do speak in metaphor, unless I really do want you to love me, and not misunderstood me I spoke clearly even they don't get the full ideas, It's too much. You know talking about shit for what? to racing the competition of who is the one living the shittiest life ever? What do you wanna talking about? Like why is it so good but it's just one night date because I don't like standing in the night, So never one night stand. One night giggling and staring at each other Fuck, my tears are down uncontrollably now

Du... Du.. Du... i don't care. I wish I don't, no this is the song I listen to Yeah i always listen to song otherwise my mind can't shut up at least I listen to the one song I like particularly at this moment and the same words over and over calmed me down. It's like a chanting of prayer Because I did that too much to never bother it now And no it's lie, human like habitual, ritual activity Even for people who said you know I just let it go, let if flow the life but yet they keep repeating the same lies and mistakes So, is this the habit of manipulative people and I am drawn to it because all my life I've been wasted it and being told lies.

You are a writer, but you can't even write your feelings right. I, i... I am not. It's funny mostly the one thing you're have the most potential usually also the one thing that it's so hard to come out, Unless you're lucky enough to have supportive environment Like you are a cactus in desert you'll be okay but I am a cactus in rain forest and too much water makes me death. How the hell I am here anyway? Well Let's say life is like that you are what you are some people are so so with their habitat and some is just in wrong place but because everyone is okay The problem is you. You're the one who is not okay So what's wrong with that?

Yeah you can't choose it either and some able to move, wind loves them and just take them away some are not so they just living half alive and dead fear of what is tomorrow might be I understand what you feeling No you don't. You ride ducati and need someone to clean up your mess I can't even get my cabbage now, no eggs no food. Hmm the god of the gap is crazy But this kind of gap is just like otherworldly feelings and it's so humiliating because how can someone be out of place

Someone can have everything But you know their empty and can't rest well Well I do understand because back then when there's still food and I can buy cute clothes sometimes There's still something missing in my life Something wrong, the problem of everything That I keep asking quietly Until I found the truth and it broke me crazy. Like finally it's clicked Like like.. Stop sounding so stupid Well I am not trying to impress you I just try to express this feeling and yeah you might also sound stupid if you spoke in language you don't fully mastered yet but isn't that the beauty? People should be more open.

Open in their mind not on their mouth Judging everything that not align with themselves as wrong But it's wrong Well it's for you again morality is an opinion. But we're animals trying not hurting the others Impossible. There's the hunter And the prey like me. Hunter have the advantages of power Prey can eat those cabbages but then There's not even cabbages because the system is destroyed so badly For everyone. And double for me as I still not taking that wine anymore. What the fuck are you talking about?

I don't feel sorry for you, you are someone who has plenty to be jealous of. What the fuck? Who the fuck jealous of my misery? You're beautiful But honey, it's a facade. It's not even beautiful here, me Again it's value so it's subjective Short hair girl is ugly because they hate who they are The fuck, yeah of course you never been in state of depression when your hair just fall out all over And now all the imbalances don't let me to grow my hair For fucks sake people, they have all crazy shit to say to me but then when I am the one who saying that, I am the cruelest ones Man. Man. Always feels entitled to say everything Because sky daddy give me full authority over you Moron.

Sky daddy, and now my friend not replying me Great. Great. Just like I predicted but not fully expected. Sometimes I still want to relive the kind memories Warm fuzzy feeling of caring for each other but yeah I can't pretend Because back then I don't pretend and I kinda intoxicated by the wine But not anymore as now I taste another and I understand it's just addiction Comfort addiction of something we don't know about One thing is still true, I hate lies Being lied and that comfort is lies Because you said to beer drinker they won't get the peace after only wine drinker does.

Fuck, I miss you And all those happiness derived from shit It's true. You know there's emptiness and cute shit filling the void It doesn't have to be like your Porsche because I will never can afford it but now I can't even find the cabbage. But you don't even help me when you said you love me. Fuck love. Is just lust. Because I know love. I love too much I only love love and romance But I don't make love, never I just show it. What the fuck again this oddity you keep telling me? Yeah there's people who don't have the need to mating even when they're 100 percent loving you No, you can't do that And here I go again sexual, physical, romantic attraction People just messing it up Or am I too afraid?

No, and yes of course there's plenty sickness out there And some people addicted to skinny dip people so it's not for me. I have this addiction also to imagining myself, laying down in someone's lap and just skygazing together Yeah same but not the same it's both unhealthy but the other sure can give you health risk physically Well and the other is giving you mental problem For longing too much, limerence Yeah. So they both worse but then you pick your own poison and I know you don't understand because there's only so much of us anyway

Sigh, I hate this. I wanna be in your arms I wanna do what lovers do. I'll do it if you promise to love me I will but you never do. Thus you creeping on my story After I said everything And turns out you have a girl But never say anything But you still want my sexy pic? Like this behavior I can't understand Because if someone have my heart I don't look the other direction I just want that person to the point maybe I become so fucking annoying Because feeling didn't grow in the same time Or maybe I am just the consolation prize a love you approach when you're lonely Fuck you.

I even prepared video because you never answer any of my questions It's too much. No it's not. Yeah you called me when back then I am sad sleeping. Depressed is sad sleeping babe. You think I am fucking joking? I wish I am. I wish this is just a dream and I never have to worried about whether any cabbage for tomorrow or not Fucking not funny Desperation kill me. Then grow your own Again then just buy every homeless home Is true but not applicable unless that the issue addressed correctly Or people helping the other for real Without asking are you wine drinker or not? Because I only help people who drink wine and not beer. Fuck there's no soil.

Sometimes I think maybe I am just stupid And have too many worries Yeah what do you expect Who do you think you are? You are stupid, fucking destroyer I live by this kind of environment every day and now I am broken because back then I always try to disengage? Oh and praying lots of talking to no one The sky daddy who put me in this position And love to watches me suffer? Maybe is his entertainment but it's suffering for me Sky mommy, yeah not. Is not a man nor woman But the one who can lead is only man Make it make sense nik Nik, last seen long time ago

Me too, fuck again this dream Of being loved. Cute things. Cute things will hurt you so bad I always fell into those cute smiles How are you moonies? Is that the cult you're talking? No. No. You can guess. You can just ditch me But don't promised me something you never meant And then I just reveal the secret too much They did exactly what I don't want them to do.

But oh my sky universe They have the gut to asking me how the fuck are you now? Get lost. Get the fuck lost. But somewhere in the corner of my mind is filled with the cute memories of us Even when it's short. Well it's always short. Is special that way Or because I keep mixing up people and Talking too fucking much

Don't leave me. Don't leave me with broken promises. Leave me but just say goodbye like you said hello to me Is that so fucking hard to ask?

Fuck. I am crying. I wish I can dance the pain away but yeah it's so lonely without you. I am busy. All the night wasted dreaming about how amazing life could be If the cactus is already on the desert. But it's raining baby, And it's raining so hard.

Do your laundry. For zeus sake You always talk about mythology And then I realized my so called miracle is also ones, Fuck I am hestia. The goddess of warmth of the house Yeah I do love it when home is clean and again cabbage but she swore to never marry Is it because she also like me? And then someone try force his way trying breaking her oath Then zeus cursed him? I don't really remember now Again too much on my mind But i swear i have read it. This is what happened when you filled up your memory with junk and now no one believes you cause you can't even form a decent sentence. Babe, Hear me out. I wish I just can teleport on wherever you are now And kick you. I mean kiss you Kill you. No Kill me

Kill me and buried me with all the sweet dreams happening in my head because it's not real In reality we just fought fought fought and cold long fucking war In reality we don't even speak anymore And as a Taurus of course I drawn in memories Cause I am too lazy and skeptical to get to know new person But then it's proven. They broke my heart. And he's not even new. I should just find someone new At least I don't feel dumber than I already am I thought people could change. They're rarely did that. You just lost in your dream too much

Yeah the cabbage desperation. I wish I don't derive my happiness on you, Or any cute shit But here I am thinking about you. And you and any other memories just because I don't know anymore. I don't know. I am tired.

Wiping out all the entries again? Just wiped out all my memory maybe Or myself out of this earth. I wake up in another galaxies And then they turn out just the same. So it was me all along?

Silhouette. That russian song Oh new things could also new song I mean A song I have never listened to and then I broke the repeat button. It's the same energy until I worn the songs down Worn the shoes out. I don't believe that there's no one for me Well maybe that's true.

For now. Create something new then. But then my fucking antisocial soul would mock me There's nothing new under the sun ren You wish you were that special But you're not. I tell you It's okay, i still love you. Kisses.

[itstremmy]

It's been a while but thought maybe regular blog entries might be a fun thing. I've been using this tumblr literally for years, and before this one in particular I had another that worked in the exact same way: gifs to show off my mood, thoughts and vibes. Sometimes I'd write a little blurb. I still have access to that original tumblr, though I wish there was a way to merge them altogether as one.

Anyway, back to writing and keeping an active blog. Maybe it's cause I thought since no one would read this that I never really considered putting much effort into my "journal" like summaries of my days and experiences, and yet at the same time I felt like if someone were reading this that I'd be too self-conscious to be honest and say what really happened or how I actually felt.

I think I'm passed that now. And today for whatever reason I felt like writing about the feelings I've had about my family back in Vegas. My mom, dad, and little brother are there, though, my father is close to passing away with terminal liver cancer. He was diagnosed and given months to live back in May of 2021... but he's yet to fall into that sweet sweet deep sleep, so I guess, yay? But for whatever reason I feel like I've been in a constant state of waiting ever since I found out he was soon going to die.

I've visited twice since the diagnosis and each time he's progressively looked worse. His already thinning hair turning fully grey, his body becoming what appears like a sack of skin hardly held together with thin bones that surprisingly are still carrying his weight. He doesn't walk much and when he does there's a constant threat that his knees will buckle, causing him to fall and possibly injure himself. Which makes it difficult for my mom to be away from him for too long as he'll try to make it to the restroom on his own --- the long trek of what might simply be 5 feet from his bed to the toilet. Even that short distance is enough to seem like one that might be his last.

One time while I was there my mom was talking to me in my brother's room, a good half of the house's distance away from my dad, and in the middle of our conversation we heard shouting. He had fallen. We rushed over. Despite him being very frail and light in weight it still was quite tough to pick up another adult human being. He held onto me, I got him back onto the bed without too much strain, but that moment it just felt as if he was hanging onto life by a thread.

He felt ashamed and the last memories of my dad being a strong-working painter who would take me on Saturdays to aide him on side-jobs to put up drywall, fix someone's plumbing, get on a roof and patch up some leak, those memories... slowly began to feel further and further away as I looked into his eyes and saw that particular man fade away.

I think because of this prolonged state of hism just refusing to die, I feel like I'm in some kind of limbo. That I feel despite the fact that I'll undoubtedly be taken over with sadness when the news comes my way that he passed away, that I know I'll be better for it. That my family will be better off without him, without the need to be at his beck and call. I feel for my mom since she's got no one around to help her and I'm so far away. And yet... there are times when I wish I could just escape to the support of my mother, when I'm feeling unsure, when I'm scared of the unpredictability of life, when I need help figuring out what to do. But because she's been so preoccupied for so long with her own health, my dad's diagnosis, and my brother's never-ending situation, I feel like I don't have the resource of a mom to drawn upon.

Hopefully once my dad says his goodbyes I too can move forward and see my family more often, that my mom will text more often, will send more photos and be more involved in my life. Maybe my brother won't feel as much pressure from the situation around my dad that he'll feel freer and want to talk and play games with me once again.

I don't know why I felt like writing this but on somedays I'll just be vacuuming or cleaning the apartment when I think about how they're doing, and I just wonder when things might return to some sort of normal again.

[barbatos-the-loyal-butler]

Solomon "Another incident! So whoever this was didn't manage to control levi. This is worrying. I've made pacts with 72 demons and I haven't seen any of them use this kind of magic." solomon climbed down the ladder and walked over to Barbatos placing another crossed off list on the desk. " these are all a no. I checked all of them twice and there was no mention of the symbols or ancient demonic magic of the like." He gave his stubble a scratch. Solomon had been in the demon castles library all night looking for what was drawn on Rei." all I can think so far is its tied to you somehow. You were at all three places when they happened." He stopped for a sip of tea. "what would someone want you for though? I mean there is control of time but only me and Diavolo have access to it." "i can't believe it was sold out even for the Prince." Rei moaned. "I was looking forward to seeing that too." Diavolo laughed "it's OK Rei there will be another showing next Halloween. The 'bloodening' series is huge here." Rei huffed but nodded. Hoping she would still be here this time next year. "Diavolo, do I have to go back to the human world again?" Diavolo stopped walking and opened a door to a coffee shop. "let's talk inside." they both bought hot chocolate with bat shaped chocolates and pumpkin marshmallow pieces. "why do you truly like it here that much?" Rei blushed "Well, it's Barbatos. I love him. I don't want to be separated from him." his eyes sparkled at her words. "I'm so glad he has someone who loves him. He deserves it so much. But I don't think he would want you to be a demon." Rei frowned "do I have to become a demon to stay here?" Diavolo took a long drink of hot chocolate. "well actually I don't know. Maybe the person to ask is Solomon. He's at the castle last time I checked. Shall we go see him once we've finished our drinks?" Rei nods happy that Diavolo didn't just write off her question. She raised a hand and the waiter came over. "ready to pay?" the waiter smiled down at Diavolo and Rei, pushing his long black hair behind his ear. "Yes thank you, your drinks are always so good this time of year." Waiter "Oh, you flatter me my lord. We made these in honour of your birthday week." Rei couldn't stop staring at the man. She swore she'd seen him before but couldn't place him. Diavolo "Rei come on let's head back. Rei?" she blinked and came back to her senses. "sorry, I'm coming. Thank you sir." the waiter watched them leave, his red eyes glinted dangerously. "goodbye Rei, my lord, see you soon."

*He sighed softly when hearing what solomon said*

So we still know nothing about this demon... what could he possibly want to do with me.. Well thank you anyway Solomon, I do appreciate the assistance.. the last thing I want is for Rei to be harmed because of me...

*He was waiting near the door of the castle for Rei and Lord Diavolo*

[suometar]

Hi, weird anon here again :) Thank you so much for the kind words, you're really lovely :) And obviously I have more questions ;)

I think I get the sexual attraction now, thank you, although I have to say it still seems kinda fake ;P

In a way I can relate to the mental vs physical attraction, although neither makes me want to do anything sexual. There are some people I just find gorgeous and I like to look at them and that's it, and there are some that I'm interested in for some other reason and once I know them better I may also find them attractive. Like for example Tom - I'd seen him (and Loki) around on my dash many times and never looked twice at him until I watched the Avengers and Loki turned out to be so fascinating. And that's actually how 99% of my celebrity crushes happened lol, I fell for the characters first, actors second.

So, would you say that this mental thing could be like romantic attraction? The kind that makes you want to know the person better but not jump into bed with them right away? I can imagine how it works regarding a specific person, I've read enough fanfiction for that, but how the heck do I determine which gender in general am I romantically attracted to? I can find both men and women beautiful but that alone is not attraction, right? Do other people even differentiate the two or do the sexual and romantic attraction go neatly together?

Hi!

Worry not, you're not weird at all here in my blog! I'm anything but normal myself 😄 Besides, normal is way overrated imo!

And thank you 🙂 I'm always kind to everyone who's being nice at me - what goes around comes around.

Haha, you just have to trust me on that sexual attraction is a very real thing 😂

Same goes for me too with celeb crushes, it's always the role/music/work first, then the person behind it. Well, that's probably kinda obvious, we wouldn't know them otherwise at all.

I think romantic attraction is a good term for the mental attraction I mentioned. Yes, it is exactly like that, wanting to get to know the person better first before getting into more intimate interactions. But it doesn't always evolve into sexual attraction either. You just might find the person interesting on mental level and rather have a friendship with them than anything else. Sometimes it's unfortunately the only option you have too - and sometimes it's a mutual decision even though you both are sexually attracted to each other. I have a bittersweet experience on the later.

No, just finding someone beautiful isn't actual attraction in my opinion. I can for example clearly see that Chris Evans is gorgeous but that's it. He doesn't ring any of my bells. At all. Or basically any female celebs either. Nothing happens when I see them even though I see many of them as being beautiful.

I think most people do differentiate the two, or at least they should know the difference. It's then again another thing if they can tell the difference or if they have the self-awareness to recognise which one they're feeling. Because those two can be tricky to tell apart if you lack that. Especially bc we're usually wired on the sexual way first and it overrides the mental attraction at least in the beginning.

Feeling sexual attraction does make it easier to figure out what gender you prefer.

Then again as I'm bisexual and have always been I honestly don't know how that really works with people who have a preference on gender. While I can differentiate the ways I'm attracted to men and women very distinctively, in real life, with real flesh and blood people, gender doesn't really play a significant role to me when it comes to attraction. It's one thing to get attracted to a bypasser but when I'm serious about any relationship I always get to know the person first and then if I get attracted to them, it's because who they are, what they think, what they value and so on. I'm always drawn in by the brain, so I'm clearly a sapiosexual as well :D Gender is only a part of the equation to me and not a very important one at that.

What I then project online is exactly bc of the sexual attraction I have towards men, so I might appear not bi. But as usual, what you see online about someone isn't everything.

I could imagine that if you had a preference you'd find an idea of having sexual relations with the other gender(s) somewhat uncomfortable maybe? Like for example to a hetero man even the idea of having a sexual relationship with another man wouldn't definitely feel good at all, it would be repulsive in fact, and that then clearly underlines what their preference is.

That said, I get it that if you're indeed asexual there's not even that to help you.

Maybe you have already thought of these but to me two questions come to mind that might help at least to some extent:

Do you find it uncomfortable thought if you didn't have a specific preference on the gender of the person you're attracted to? And is gender or the looks in fact at all a reason for you being attracted to someone? That it might be totally something else instead, like who that person is as a human being?

I don't think that sexual attraction is at all required at first, as I experience it that way irl. That maybe it's just that you don't feel attraction by looks at all and you too get attracted by the mental side. Which could explain that you see and recognise beautiful people but don't get attracted to them.

Obviously, these are just my views based on what you've told me, so don't take it as the ultimate truth 🙂

Like I said, to me it has always been clear what my orientation is and I'm not familiar with really figuring out this particular thing. But I'm always in for helping others figure it out the best I can! I have gone through extensive self-exploration but that has been to work through childhood trauma and grow away from that which is probably a bit different - but I do know what it's like figuring out stuff for sure.

[moth-with-a-pen-archive]

20 First Lines Tag

Tagged by @andiwriteunderthemoon, tysm!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20 stories just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag others!

My favorite is probably the one I wrote for Raven, I like the way it establishes the narrative voice!

One pattern among my lines is that they've improved over time as I've gotten better at quickly establishing the tone of the story.

Novels

Despite Illusion (retired, 2018)

The end of the world began with a scream.

Rune (retired, 2020)

“Hey, asshole! Welcome home.” John shouted from the other room. Rune’s roommate was fused with the couch, as usual, unaware of the mess around him.

Ranthan Rot (current high fantasy wip)

Metaphor’s heart raced as they stepped up onto the stage, chased by the final stanza of the traditional song of kings. It echoed throughout the royal chapel for a few seconds longer before the room fell silent.

The Dawn Court (current sci-fi wip)

Disc was not proud of what they'd done. Everyone told them they should be, patted them on the back and congratulated them on the promotion. Then they went back to their quiet lives, feet happily planted on home soil. Sure, going off on interstellar voyages was impressive, but it was the sort of thing no one actually wanted to do themselves.

Tagging @mothwriter, @isherwoodj, @quilloftheclouds, @blindthewind, and anyone else who wants to!

More first lines below the cut!

Short Stories

Rainshower (complete, urban fantasy, might post it here sometime? a young girl strikes out on her own and finds life to be not what she wanted)

Brindleton, it seemed, was the place to be. A new club or apartment complex went up every month, and there were always ships in the harbor.

Out of Sight (complete, sci-fi, vignette-style. illegal alien hybrids are raised underground, evading the government's capture)

It was time for birthday wishes soon enough. Aloe baked a ration cake, and Erik helped his daughter blow out the candles. “What did you wish for?” She put a finger to her lips. “Can’t tell!”

Bigger Things (retired, fantasy, the heir to a fortune finds himself with the very same powers that killed his brother)

Welcome. We’ve been waiting for you. There’s no time to waste. The universe has chosen you to join our ranks. Have a seat, will you? It’s time to draw some cards.

A Raw Engagement (complete, contemporary, an upperclassmen seeks out a simpler life)

The party was too loud. Most parties were. Too loud, too bright, too full of besuited trust fund babies. Onyx said his hellos, his “nice to meet you”s, and he snuck away.

Remember Me (complete, fantasy, character is aware of the reader)

“Hello again.” Indigo lifted her gaze to the sky. There were pools of ink where her eyes should have been, as if she was being eaten by the night’s darkness. “Do you remember me?”

Raven (tbd, historical, a grandmother teaches about an ancient tale)

She’d been born on the harsh mountaintops, and traveled to the village beside the ravine. She’d been penniless, starved, withering away more every day. Same as anyone else. The woman who saved us from the tyrant was hardly an outlier. What had done it, then?

Chasing Midnight (complete, fantasy, yet to be posted. a girl runs away from home and fights to change her fate)

You already know how this will end. The beginning, however, may surprise those who care to listen. It was not a hard life, or one full of strife, that drove me to do what I did. On the contrary, my lot was an easy one.

Borrowed Time (tbd, sci-fi, humans explore an abandoned planet)

Expedition 5 landed without much fuss, and their commander became the dozenth woman to set foot on Trappist-1C. The rest of the crew filled out a line on either side of her, and they all took in their surroundings.

Anew (complete, sci-fi, guy goes back in time to save the library of alexandria)

I was among many eager volunteers for the time travel program. Some did it for the money, others for the prestige. Most just wanted to explore. Fair enough. I was the same way only a few months back.

As the Snow Falls (complete, low fantasy, a boy tells tales of days gone by)

A little boy strikes ivory keys as the snow falls and falls. His name is Chance, for he would never dare take one. He’s not fool enough to make the same mistake twice.

It's 3 AM on a Friday Night (complete, contemporary, posted here)

Another train gone, and you stand alone.

Centennial Parade (complete, litfic, a person is drawn into an endless revel. to be posted)

There is a parade, and no one knows about it, but everyone has joined. Everyone. No, that’s not quite right. Not you, not the girl, not the good man in the antique shop. But maybe they have joined and they just don’t know it yet. Maybe you and I are all that’s left of the world before.

[queenofbaws]

So I know that technically this ask would have fit better yesterday, and that I pretty much asked it last week. But if you don't mind indulging me and my really weird au's further, you think you got any more for climbing chrash: outlast variant edition? (I'm very sorry, there's just something about them being more humanin body and mind, but with the same (possible) cannabalistic tendencies and with their personalities twisted like 1000 degrees to the left that I've become obsessed with... )

When shit broke bad, it broke bad in the female wing first, cascading out from the solitary cells and towards the main hub like old blood rushing towards a beating heart - strange, then, how prepared two patients in particular seemed to be when finally things began to shudder and fail in the male wing minutes later. And not ‘prepared’ inasmuch as learning about the miners’ time in similar cells could’ve made them, either...‘prepared’ in that they could smell blood the moment it was drawn clear across the building.

The chaos provided the perfect cover, and when the power flickered, fluttered, failed, even the smallest among them was able to force their cell door open to steal out into the darkness like just another shadow; there was screaming in the air, the thick-slick feel of blood under their bare feet, but these were things they’d known from before, these were things Murkoff had promised to heal in them. Maybe this was what healing was like - the scales falling from eyes after being blinded by static for so long.

They walked and hid and crept, led along as though by three unseen strings, and when finally they converged, the dizzying sense of seeing three ways at once calmed, if only a bit, soothed by phantom tingle of a single body made whole once more.

Murkoff was in the business of making monsters, but maybe next time they’d think twice before skipping right to human trials. 

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

[tooinlovewithfictionalpeople]

Thirteen - Steve Harrington

Summery- Thirteen is a runaway girl in the woods. She came from Hawkins as an experiment, but three years prior ran away. When the gang is in trouble, El calls out in fear and an unexpected guest comes to the rescue

This is based off a fanfiction I'm planning on Wattpad, so please don't steal ideas.

Hope you enjoy

Monsters were everywhere, literally everywhere. Dustin, Lucas, Mike, Eleven, and Steve were surrounded, fear settling within each of them.

Eleven was shaking in fear, her telekinesis not working. So she screamed, she cried out for help.

Suddenly, a black wolf lept from the darkness. Its eyes were bright blue and piecing, much to bright to be a normal wolf. Monster after monster it plowed through to get to the children, steppung on the monsters head and legs to save someone.

Everybodys eyes widened in shock at this supposed killing machine, and they all looked frightend, raising any weapon they had. The only person who wasn't scared was Eleven, as the rest stared wide eyed at the bear sized wolf leaping towards them. Eleven just smiled, making them lower their weapons.

The Wolf bowed infront of them, and Eleven tugged on steve's sleave ( she was nearest him) He turned to her.

" On" she whispered to him. His eyes widened.

" On? On? Are you kidding me!?" He whispered harshly. Eleven shook her head. He sighed and cautiously walked to were the wolf stood. The wolf watched him, bowing her head so Steve could climb on. He did, sitting stiffly at the front.

Next came Dustin, then Eleven, then Mike then Lucas.

A loud shriek was heard, and Eleven turned around, only to see all the monsters getting to their feat and making their way towards them. The wolf growled, bearing her teeth, before springing expertly from the rock and taking off. The wolf stepped lightly, swerving between trees, jumping over fallen logs. Steve looked behind him only to see the Monsters still chasing them.

" Hey girl can you go any faster?" He whispered close to her ear.

The wolfs head turned to the side, one eye looking at him before winking.

The wolf flashed blue, and a light was surrounding it. The gang uncovered their eyes to see that she was an eagle. A great huge golden eagle. She cawed twice before taking off into the night sky.

For five minutes they flew, though it felt longer. Steve was cheering, eleven was laughing, the three boys screaming as sge swooped and dived and spun.

She landed safley on the ground, bowing to let the others go down safley. When they were all off she stepped backwards, and a blue light engulfed her.

Then the Eagle became a girl. She was innocent looking and was medium hight, the top of her head reaching Steve's neck, just under his chin. Her doe eyes were wide, luscious lips smiling.

" Thirteen! " cried Eleven running into thirteens open arms.

" Hello Eleven" Thirteen said. She turned to the gang, and sighed. " Eleven knows me as thirteen, but I prefer my real name which is Evan, short for Evangeline. I come from the same place Eleven does. Where are we going now? It's very late, and I dont think anyone should be alone tonight."

The exuses were the same. Everyone had told their parents that they were staying at somebody elses house. Evan sighed.

" Well, I do have a house nearby. Its a one bedroom, though I have four sofas you can sleep on " she said. " It'll be a mess though because I've been a Wolf for over a year in the woods so haven't been able to keep it up."

The group agreed and they walked to her house.

When they got to her house, Evan carefully placed Eleven on the nearest sofa, having carried her a lot of the way home. Mike wanted to stay with her, and Dustin and Lucas wanted to stay with Mike. Evan brought out the blankets and draped them over the sleeping children.

Evan turned to Steve. " We'll have to share the bed, its a king sized double so I dont mind. You go on up, I'll stay in the Garden for a bit."

Steve shook his head. " I'm not tired. I'll join you"

Evan smiled. " It's odd. Being human agian. When I was a wolf, my memories were suppressed. And now everything is coming back"

Steve sank down on the doorstep next to her. " What kind of memories Evangeline ? " he asked hestinatly not wanting to pry but curious all the same.

" I remember the cage that they put me in, wanting me to shift for them. I remember the surgeries I had to make me this way. I remember Eleven. I remember running away. "

Steve nodded. "Well it will be nice to go to school if you're there. It would make life more interesting."

Evan laughed. " The creators put a chip in my brain. It basically teaches me everything. Like a computer. I dont need school. It also makes my movements more coordinated, and increase my stamina. Very usefull when I'm running away from things."

Steve snorted, running his hands through his hair. " You should join the basket ball team, this new bully's really good at it, but uses it as an excuse to be a dickhead. It's too bad about the school decision there'd be tons of things that you would enjoy, Evangeline. Sorry, - Evan."

Evan shook her head. " Don't be sorry. I like it when you call me that. The school part? I'll think about it. It would be a pasttime anyway. Also it would be a chance to get back to a normal life. "

Evan felt her eyelids droop, her head resting against Steve's shoulder. He looked down and laughed softly.

" Goodnight Evangeline " he said smiling down at her.

--------

" Shhhh they look so cute! "

" Shut up you'll wake them! "

" Ewww they're cuddling! "

" Great, now you've woken them."

Evan opened her eyes and turned her head to see four children peering down at her and Steve. Their legs were intangled, and he was holding her close her back agianst his chest.

Evan smiled. Maybe life wouldn't be so bad after all.

_______________________

It had been a week. Today was going to be Evans' first day of school.

Since she wouldn't be able to open the bank account that her parents had left her for another week whilst the details were discussed, Steve had given her money to go clothes shopping. He had gone with her to make sure she didn't pick an outrageous outfit. As it went, he thought that she would be popular with the clothes she picked out.

She was wearing one of her favourite outfits, that she bought. On her feet were black healed boots that went to her ankles. She was wearing high-waisted blue jeans with black belt. A loose black crop top hung off her. It had a little picture of a pepperoni pizza on the right breast pocket with white writing underneath saying " I requested pizza not you." ( Steve had laughed when she picked it up saying that it suited her well). She had a sports bra and leggins and black trainers as she had discoverd she had a talent for Basketball. Blue - Green mirrored sunglasses framed her face.

She had decided to go for a natural makeup look. Foundation coverd her freckles that dotted her nose, mascara and eyeliner made her eyes seem darker and wider. Her lips were painted a luscious pink, standing out agianst the whitness of her teeth. Her long dark hair was drawn up in a high ponytail, with a few strands framing her face. Evan smiled. Time to start the day.

As promised, Steve picked her up, and she curled up in the front seat, her heart pounding. Steve turned to her.

" Ok. Billy Hargrove. I need you to beat him at basketball for me and then I'll do whatever you want " He said sincerely. " You'll also be the most popular, your sense of style will give you good looks, your attitude will make you intimidating and nobody will mess with you. Remember, Spice before Nice"

Evan nodded, before stepping out the car. Although her and Steve weren't dating, they were really close, so she linked her arm with his, held her head up high, and marched towards the school.

It was now PE and unlike most, Evan was looking forward to it. At lunch she had gotten changed into her PE kit with a leather jacket.

So when the coach said Steve's team needed another player, Steve could volunteer Evan.

" A girl? Playing basketball with all boys? Well, knock 'em dead"

Evan smiled before taking off her jacket. She backflipped off the bleaches ( almost giving the coach a heart attack, jumping four levels at once) landing infront of Billy.

The coach blew the whistle.

Billy had managed to get the ball off Steve, and Evan ran up to the hoop, catching the ball at an impossible hight when Billy tried to throw it in. She then dribbled the ball past her opposing side, swerving expertly around the bodies, before scoring a point.

Two points.

Three points.

Half an hour later, after many interceptions coutsey of Evan, her team was winning by 10 points.

At the end her team surrounded her, cheering her name. Even Billy clapped slowly, though he didn't smile like everyone else. Evan laughed before walking over to where Steve was running at her.

He picked her up and spun her around, his hands on her waist, her hands on his shoulders.

And then he kissed her. Her eyes widend in shock before melting into the kiss, her long legs wrapped around his waist. The gymnasium cheered, but everything faded into the kiss.

It was time to go home, and Steve and Evan wwaljed out the school, hand in hand. The walked, laughing about anything in the world. Mike, Dustin, Lucas and Eleven watched them, the boys mouths were agape.

" Stevan? When did that happen"

" They look so happy,"

And they were.

Just for today, everything was perfect. They were together, as it would stay. Steve Harrington and Evangeline Hopper. The powercouple of the school.

The happiest couple.

PART TWO IS UP ON MY ACCOUNT.

Like and comment please!

[the-cemetery-researcher]

Progress update 25/01/2022

Today I started writing this update in the middle of my data entry session, because I needed to rant.

I found a grave which got added to the study during my fieldwork in January that I have no photos of because a member of the public kept talking to me and so I was distracted!! So fucking annoyed at myself. It's this one, which by coincidence in the corner of a photo I took of vandalism damage to Karl Marx's grave in 2019. Just an ordinary cross, for a pretty ordinary family. I feel so bad for them.

Luckily a quick search on ancestry (I had the inscription written down) has led me to a find a grave page for them and that means I can at least use a placeholder image until I can take one. Then I couldn't resist going down another small rabbithole to find out a bit about them, to somehow make it up to them for being so neglectful. William Durnford was a solicitor. His wife Mary is buried with him and they had three daughters - Miney, Mildred and Winifred, and sons called Herbert and Ernest butHerbert died in childhood. When William Durnford died in 1917 he seems to have left his effects (£2574 3s) to Mildred even though Mary outlived him, I wonder if Mary was ill? In 1911 Jemima Veals (Mary's mother) was living with them and was 92! Making the people I study human made me feel a bit better. I always say every stone tells a story and that is so true!

I also had a really good chat with my Friend Jo about what I'm doing. It's nice to have a fellow cemetery friend cheer you on. That brightened up my afternoon and the support is so invaluable.

Finishing this update late at night again. I really did think I'd get through the rest of the graves today, but I forgot that the last 3 sets involve a lot of new data again. I've got all the easy ones and about half of the difficult ones done today - I've got 2 plans to draw (one is very complicated) and 8 graves worth of data to finish. I got 3 plans and 19 graves done today and 28 graves and 4 plans done yesterday. So even though I know rationally that the stuff I did today was harder, I still feel like I should stay up past midnight to carry on...

I think part of the problem is that I'm busy all day tomorrow with other stuff - mostly being a school governor- so I now know it will be at least Thursday before I finish this and Friday before I tackle the rest of the tasks I put on Monday's to do list... Dyspraxia makes it hard to be realistic about how long things will actually take so unless I actually stop and put a time next to everything I tend to overcommit, but I still feel like I'm going so slowly!

I'm going to attempt to be realistic here about the data I have left to do: HGE13.1 - HGE13.6 Plan - 1.5 hours Grave data - 5 hours (I haven't typed up the inscriptions yet) HGE14.1 - HGE14.2 Plan - 3 hours (2 massive and complicated mausoleums - did I mention that my grave plans are drawn in Paint? Yeah, I'm that professional baby! One px = 1cm) Grave data - (fewer inscriptions) 1.5 hours So 11 hours work. I reckon I can do that on Thursday - maybe- I do have a governors meeting on Teams too... Either way it looks like I'll get to the reading/writing stuff on Friday, so I need to post a remote retreat on Twitter so people can join me for part/all the day.

Another part of the problem is that even though Ash keeps reassuring me that I'm not being mean, I still feel like I'm brushing him off a lot and neglecting him. He's been in bed for 3 hours now and will be out of the house before I'm awake tomorrow and yet when he's around I struggle to spare him 30 mins because my brain keeps saying 'but you could be working' and that makes me feel guilty. I also feel guilty if he sees me waste time on twitter or replying to a text or something because that just stretches out the time til I'm done with this shit and can be a good partner again.

I told him I feel like a goblin, and I really do. I did actually shower and get dressed, cook (put things in oven) and do the washing up (twice) today but I still feel gross somehow. And grumpy. I'm always a very emotional person, quick to cry at everything (today it was the Vimes Boots Index) and pretty quick to anger, but this whole process just makes me feel like I'm living on my last, exposed and frayed nerve, all the time. I feel like an ugly hunched up malevolence in the corner of the living room, just giving off bad vibes from my desk all day. I think we need to bring back hermitages so I can be in what currently is clearly my natural environment of a dank cave or hut in the middle of a lake and be away from everyone until this thesis either gets handed in or kills me.