#I've been working on getting the story fleshed out behind the scenes so I haven't had much to show

[chiscribbs]

I love your concept for your disconnected AU, it looks and sounds so cool! I can’t wait to see what else you put out for it!

Thank you so much! :'>

I do have some Disconnected AU content currently in the works that should be posted soon. I'm very excited to share it once it's finished! It may not be for a couple weeks, since I'm working on it in-between other higher priority projects at the moment, but-

Here's a little preview:

[imagineitdearies]

I am curious, was there any point in Perfect Slaughter where the story or characters developed in ways you hadn't planned?

Your writing is amazing, I love them so much your honor ❤️

Hey anon!! Thanks for this lovely ask, sorry for the wait 🩵 (holiday season, amirite?)

For most of my life I've been a 'pantser/discovery writer,' even if I've found a good balance now with both discovering and planning my stories--and one major way I still keep my options open for myself is the characterizations. So there were plenty of times all of the characters in Perfect Slaughter surprised me! But here are a few highlights:

Chatterteeth

Plot-wise, I included Chatterteeth in my outline as a heralder of the 'Command Undead' class feature Tyrus would level up and gain just before the climax; beyond that I didn't really know how much importance I wanted to give her. It wasn't until writing Part III that I thought more deeply about her motivations beyond simply wanting to end the Szarr legacy as well. A lot of it I didn't have the justification to dive into during the story itself (if you haven't read my little one-shot in her POV, I did get a chance then!), but it changed a lot.

For one--that she protests a lot more about Tyrus's controlling treatment of her. While this doesn't change the plot points, I think it did change the narrative and how readers experience Part III with Tyrus's corruption. A bit less cheering him on, and a few more reminders thanks to our skelly grandma that Tyrus is Not Being A Good Person.

Also, my plans had just been for Chatterteeth to be merely surprised at Tyrus's growing power during their trap-setting, then let him know about 'Command Undead' being a potential option. With how I began to write her, however, I realized it was a power she didn't know if she trusted him to disclose about even once she realized he might be capable. Which meant it gets revealed later than I planned, but in a way that hopefully emphasizes the gravity of Tyrus's choice at the end to only use it to give Astarion freedom, not take control of the final outcome. Adding how worried she is that he will choose control and power over love, hopefully raises the stake for the reader too. (Oh, and all this made her death quite a bit sadder 🥲)

Cazador

I unfortunately know Cazador's type all too well, and knowing what his thoughts and plans were behind the scenes was really important to make the set-up of this story work (i.e., use love against people until whoops, turns out it isn't a weakness like you thought). That being said, he gave me a big surprise in Part III when he bargains with Tyrus to keep Astarion around. I think it was right after the rune carving and sexual assault scene in ch32, that it suddenly came to me that he might want Astarion for his own selfish sake. And though it is a divergence from canon-Cazador's sentiments at the end of bg3, I justified that Astarion is on better terms (sadly) with him to protect Tyrus. (Plus, maybe Cazador would have been able to use Dufay in canon since he's also gotten his hands dirty/bound himself to the sacrificial spawn 'by blood' in some sense, if not for Doofie killing himself of course.)

Astarion

Astarion is such a well-fleshed out character thanks to bg3, the amount of voice lines I've listened to (many of them over and over), my god!! While I tried to stay as close and true to his canon counterpart as possible, PS!Astarion grew to have a lot of quirks I can only count as headcanons: his relationship with simple pain being worse than other abuses, his knowledge of the true vampire traits from Cazador and resultant avoidance of using the term 'love/I love you' in fear of being weak. On that note, I didn't really know when he'd say the big ILY to Tyrus, just that it would be sometime at the very end of Part II. He really held out on me with that, not admitting until the very last chapter while half-delirious with pain 💀😂

Tyrus

Tyrus surprised me the least--I know this boy like the back of my hand. I will say, he did initiate sex a lot more often than I initially planned for 😂 I swear that's half the reason I had to keep adding chapters to Part III! It's true to life though that demisexuals often do feel sexual desire, it just takes longer and a very strong bond with the right partner 🩵

Oh man, I miss him--I still want to write a one-shot at least every month, so hopefully I can squeeze one in during the holidays!!

[l-e-morgan-author]

Draft cover for the on-newsletter-signup free stories which I haven't finished editing yet. (So you can't have them yet; I'll finish editing them to my satisfaction before I open up my email newsletter.)

Further ramble below; it got kind of long. First about what these stories are about, then more rambling about my current works-in-progress and specifically aspects of Patience, Changing that I'm enjoying. Might recycle some of this for the next newsletter tbh.

A quick and not-edited summary of each story:

Ever Changing, Ever Near - Hadassah is different to everyone else, but despite that finds great joy in the changing seasons.

A Fragile Solace - Hadassah and Nem are friends. Despite what happens after, she treasures the friendship that they have.

Both stories were entered to (different) local competitions and were highly commended. I can't give an estimated story length because at least A Fragile Solace requires a bunch of editing that may lengthen it. Since I no longer have a word count requirement because I'm not planning on submitting them to any other competitions, I can go ham on them.

In case you don't know who Hadassah is, Hadassah is from the 2022(? maybe '23) Inklings challenge, which I wrote about 8k of. I was Team Lewis, portal fantasy. A very rough summary is that Hadassah is an autistic girl in a neurotypical world, one of the peasants of that world and chosen to be sent through a portal. Nobody knows what lies beyond. For Hadassah, what lies beyond is found family such as she hasn't experienced her entire life.

I found getting into her head unreasonably hard at the time, which is why I wanted to write stories about her, and why I haven't finished drafting her story. With more understanding of autistic people and also myself than I had then, I expect that when I get back to that properly I'll find it a lot easier to write.

I also intend to edit The Patience of Hope to be another newsletter freebie - the edited version, I mean. I intend to leave the first draft up on my website indefinitely, even if an edited version is published as part of something else (such as A Quiet Patience, though with the number of novellas I've got planned, that might be quite long...). But that's for a little way down the road, not yet.

As for a general update on writing generally, I've written a little bit more of Hands Made for Gentleness, but not much. That will require a lot of working with it once the first draft is done, but I've written up a rough outline of the rest of the main story beats, and I have a clearer idea where I'm going. I'm ideally going to finish drafting Patience, Changing before I really get back to that, which is about 20k away (yay!). I'm thoroughly into the third act, figuring out I need to know my characters better so the third act will require a good deal of rewriting, even though the bones are good. I'm pleased with the balance of characters, and at times even though I'm going "Hmm this needs work", I can switch that off and just work on it. I've been writing drabbles every day for this month, and currently I'm one (1) day behind. The drabbles have been helpful, providing scene ideas I can flesh out into full scenes, so they might be a bit janky in context, but I can edit that later.

I've really enjoyed two characters I didn't intend to include in this manuscript: Hannah (Patience's aunt) and Connie (who Patience meets in hospital). Hannah is a symbol of the seriousness of anorexia, and I am not looking forward to writing her death. At present the scene I'm writing is set on the 19th of November, 2018, and Hannah dies on the 16th of December, 2018. She's already written the letter to Patience, as well as the anonymous letter Patience doesn't realise is from her and which needs rewriting. But she has to die and it will tear my heart out to write her, though I've got to read at least a good chunk of A Grief Observed (C. S. Lewis) before I write about that. At present her death is set for the third last chapter, but I expect to rearrange things - events that I thought would work for two chapters turned out I'll need to significantly rewrite to get to even one chapter, so I'll probably use those events to close the second act rather than close the second act and open the third act as well, and therefore rearrange things to give enough space for Hannah's death. If I go over my planned word count in these chapters that's fine; whatever works. I just don't want to go under.

Having the 3k aim has been really good, because some of the time it's forced me to write 'filler' that I reread and am convinced I'll keep in, and sometimes it's kept me to only that long which is good practise too.

Oh, and also! The other character I've enjoyed. Connie. Connie's in hospital following a suicide attempt, but the psych ward's full up and she's not considered at high risk so she's in a general paeds ward, which is where she meets Patience. She isn't particularly forthcoming about why she's in, and Patience respects that. She suspects but is only told right at the end:

“You make me brave,” she said to Patience, just before she was transferred. “I came in here with a suicide attempt and you have made me discover I want to live. Live! When living has been a slow death all this time. You make me want to live. I wasn’t going to make it and I was okay with that. Now I’m going to fight, because of you.”

They keep in touch afterwards, and probably when I edit The Patience of Hope I'll include a scene with Connie in it. Because just as Hannah has to die, Connie has to live. I love the way both of these characters add to Patience's journey, but without trivialising her own very real issues. That's definitely something I'll have to do an edit pass to make sure I'm not doing, because yes, in the grand scheme of things Patience's hangups are very small but to her they're huge. Which is why I held off on writing this story for a good five years, and I'm terribly glad I did, because this story is far better than it would have been years ago.

Anyway. I'm rambling. All this to say that while I'm struggling a bit with writing it, Patience is still going swimmingly. I anticipate finishing the draft either by end of this month (stretch goal) or next month (realistic goal). Then I can dive back into Hands Made for Gentleness and maybe plotting The Time Travelling Midwife and/or Hadassah's story on the side.

I'm also having a fantastic time with Patience and Nathan's interactions at thirteen/fourteen:

“You’ll get through it,” he said. “In Christ, Patience. In Christ.” She smiled at him. He was very dear to her, standing there awkwardly and smiling his dear awkward smile back.

[classicequinox]

Fic FAQ: Where your love has always been enough (for me)

Hello, I thought I'd compile the most frequent questions I've been getting for this fic here for easier viewing/in case you have the same question! :)

WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND

Do avoid reading if you're not up to date with the current chapter, or if you'd rather wait and see how things go as new chapters are released!

1. How old are all the children?

Their ages will of course increase with time since this fic spans so many years, but as of chapter 19 (Shouto's birth):

Touya: 10

Fuyumi: 6

Natsuo: 4

Shouto: 0

Keigo: 9

Emiko: 9

Geten: 6

Hana: 10

Tenko: 5

There are some differences from canon since this fic was planned long before all the children's ages were confirmed in the manga!

2. When is Hawks going to appear ?

As of chapter 23: very, very soon...

3. Is Touya/Hawks going to be a thing?

Yes, they most definitely are! Don't worry I wouldn't be so evil as to tag them for only that angsty DabiHawks scene set in canon :')

4. When is AFO going to do something/why isn't All Might doing anything about AFO?

No, I haven't forgotten that AFO exists (and neither has All Might) but unfortunately, there are only so many plotlines that can be actively followed at once :') Let's just say, AFO is up to his usual scheming behind the scenes and All Might is actively dismantling various of his organised crime units.

(That being said, we should get a little preview of AFO in a couple of chapters from C23!)

5. Is Izuku going to make an appearance?

Definitely!

6. Are any of the Todoroki children also from Enji's canon timeline/going to travel back in time from the future?

Unfortunately not, for 2 main reasons:

1) It's a little universe breaking since the way the branching timelines work, even if the kids travel back, it'd be this AU timeline's version of them who would travel back rather than their canon versions (who would still be stuck in their sucky canon childhood with canon Endeavour)

2) It'd make for a whole story of its own that wouldn't fit into this already very giant fic :')

BUT on both those notes, I'm very willing to break the universe's space-time rules and explore the delicious feels in a spin off! It's still a long way to go (I'd probably want to complete the main fic first), but I imagine any of the kids (Dabi, anyone?) would have a pretty interesting reaction to being thrown into this AU

Feel free to let me know which characters you'd most like to see in that scenario :)

7) How long will this fic be?

Good question :') While my headcanons stretch out across the kids' childhoods and deep into their teenage years and beyond... in the name of good storytelling to avoid bloating this fic too much, this story will likely end pre-canon, albeit with a long canon era epilogue.

Projected total chapter count (subject to change): ~35-40

Before I get a lot of screams and angry yelling: I do still intend to flesh out and post those headcanons I mentioned as stories in the same series. Whether as a single actual slice-of-life sequel or multiple character-focused fics or a mix, I haven't yet decided, but there's that!

---

Feel free to ask if you have questions that aren't listed here! :)

[incognitajones]

Fic author interview

Thanks to @sesamestreep and @glorious-spoon for tagging me in this one over the holidays! But between starting the new job and the holidays and the RCSS, it totally slipped my mind until now 😬

No-pressure tagging: @anghraine, @ladytharen, @luciechat, and anyone else who feels like it.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

An even 200 if I include both accounts.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Just under 650K words altogether.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Last Train 

I fought the war (but the war won) 

left-handed kisses 

Fixer Upper 

Chain Reaction 

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I want to let commenters know they're appreciated, and I enjoy talking about little details or plot turns. Lately I haven't had the time or energy for much more than a quick thank you, but I'm still trying to respond.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At one point it would've been the bad ending of I fought the war, but now I think this Whumptober piece takes the crown.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Considering canon, most of them have an unrealistically happy ending! Especially inside the vastness of the galaxy, the "Naomi & Filip get a happy reunion" story.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No. I enjoy writing & reading some fusions (i.e. characters from one canon in the setting of another) but traditional crossovers in which characters from two different canons meet don't generally appeal to me.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on AO3, but I've been sent anon hate on Tumblr about my writing a couple of times (find a Reylo writer who hasn't challenge).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, a fair bit - in fact it's hard to remember sometimes that I never wrote anything explicit before 2016! It's all pretty vanilla, though, minus a few attempts at kinkier stuff which are deservedly anonymous.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Kind of; someone commented on one of my stories on AO3 to tell me that another story had copied significant parts of it. (They'd already commented on and reported the other fic, so I didn't take any additional action. The plagiarizing story was eventually deleted.)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Bless the fandom translators, for they are amazing.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nothing posted publically.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I couldn't possibly choose a single favourite! In terms of longevity, it's either Han/Leia or Eowyn/Faramir. And Star Wars ships in general seem to have a strong hold on me 😁

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The OT3 whumpfic. It's nearly done, but it's far outside my usual wheelhouse so without a beta reader, I can't tell whether it's worth finishing or beyond help.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write decent dialogue, and I'm genuinely proud of the ideas behind I fought the war and pulse to pulse. I can also write a pretty good pastiche of 19C style, although you wouldn't know it from this account.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting. Falling back on boring/clichéd beats to flesh out dialogue-heavy scenes.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

A sentence or so? Sure. Can't think of a reason to do much more than that.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It would be either Buffy or Lord of the Rings - I honestly don't remember - not counting the terrible Shannara-fic I wrote as a pre-teen.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Someday I'd really like to write a Children of Men story telling what happened to Kee and [spoiler] after the movie, plus fixing [spoiler].

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Subject to change by the moment, of course, but looking back at some older stories recently reminded me that I've always been pretty fond of don't go home without me.

[renegadeknight]

Can I be super obnoxious about the ask game? ‘Cause I’m gonna.

2, 4, 17, 18

If you only want to answer one… 17 or 18. (You know I’m a whore for the snips.)

love that for me 💙

2. a character whose POV you're currently exploring

I'm actually currently trying to wrangle some Tommy POV, which has been harder than I thought it would be 😅

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Ugh so many but one I'm really excited to get to eventually is another alt meet au where Joel finds an injured Ellie in the woods while he's on a remote-ish Jackson patrol and then he has to deal with the fallout when some raiders/fireflies come looking to take her back

17 got a little long so I put it under the cut with 18, thank you for the ask!

fic writer ask game!

17. talk about your writing and editing process

it feels like a chaotic mess to me but I usually start with a very rough just bare bones draft of something, I usually call this "word vomit" cause that helps me combat the perfectionism and just get shit on the page. some parts will be more fleshed out than others on this initial pass if a certain scene/moment strikes me, but sometimes it's literally just "Ellie says something that makes Tommy want to walk in front of a train" like vibes and what I want are easier to jot down at first even if I don't know how it's going to play out quite yet then I go back through for a second pass and try to flesh out the structure of the scene, what's my goal and who goes where and does what to achieve that goal. this can be more or less polished depending on how many mental drafts I've done of the scene. sometimes if it's a lot of convo I'll cut that to another document to work on just the dialog with no narrative distractions and then cut it back in to work out the body language interactions etc. but I still sometimes leave carrots like "<something something he asks one more question and she snaps something back" and leave it for future me to figure out and then the third pass is where I start to finalize things and paying more attention to how I'm saying things instead of what I'm saying. I try to work out all the carrots that I left behind and make sure I've hit all the story beats I was aiming for. if I'm not completely done with it after that, I'll read through one more time just for a flow/vibe check, pick up some typos if I'm paying close enough attention and then post it immediately because if I don't then I will keep picking at it until my eyes bleed

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

This was some very early drafting for Stubborn Love where I thought Joel might push for Ellie to get a say that first time Tess came to take her to a permanent placement, and then Ellie promptly disappeared from said placement. Obviously I ended up going a different way with it, cause I felt like it was too early in the game for her to be running away and Joel to know exactly where she went. So I used that later 😉

And this was also very early SL drafting of the "not your dad/not my daughter" conversation where initially I had this idea that Ellie thought Joel was just estranged/ghosted Sarah and so she sort of stepped in it a bit. Ultimately I decided to let Ellie figure that out before this conversation cause it felt like she would piece that together. (also an example of mostly keeping to the dialog in early drafting, and "Silence for a hot second" would defs get revised to something more eloquent lol)

[paused-waterfall]

Care to tell more about what you think of the plot and characters to the dsmp? Which ideas you enjoy and don't? It's super interesting since I was there during the hype and it sucks that the whole thing seemed to crash in and burn (at least in my eyes). At least a few CCS got to end their characters how they wanted too

Ah man, the plot and characters. First, a caveat: My thorough watch-through hasn't yet reached the conclusion of many of the characters, so I can't properly speak to that. I've encountered plenty of warning signs of controversial and stunted conclusions, so that has been my expectation from the start. With that hanging ominously over our heads, here are some of my thoughts on the rest:

Despite its overt absurdity, the plot of the dsmp feels more like a history book than a novel. In your prototypical novel, one author is really just trying to tell one story. They will cut scenes that don't add to that core story, and simplify their work if they're afraid their audience might get lost in the weeds. Background characters, in particular, get cut down to only existing as the minimally adorned cogs needed to complete the mechanisms of the plot.

In the dsmp, damn near every character is fleshed out by a whole human who is specifically invested in that character. A creator might only play a small part in a given storyline, and any individual viewer might have a complete blindspot for a given character. But there's still a whole person sitting behind every username, monitoring (and sometimes, experiencing) their motivations in real time.

And this lets them do weird shit with their characters. Authors need to keep their whole cast in their head and keep them on the rails well enough that there aren't any unexpected crashes. The creators on the server generally don't bother with this. I haven't gone out of my way to peel back the curtains of the server's writing process -- curtains can hide horrors, I don't touch curtains until I'm ready to flee -- but I have the impression that pivotal characters in pivotal scenes have beats to hit and maybe some scripted lines. Meanwhile, the rest of the players seem to be set loose to do whatever fits their concept of their character, with only minimal guardrails in place to prevent an accidental derailment of the core plot of the day. Nobody looks like a cardboard cutout who is just there to play Shocked Man #3. Even players who are not deeply invested in the roleplay have comprehensible motives, because they seem to mostly be there to just play some goddamn Minecraft. Hey, that's a game I've played! They want to build a nice house and maybe find some netherite -- I know what that feels like!

No viewer can follow all of the uncurated knot of plotlines that make up the dsmp. But I find it so satisfying that any thread I choose to pull on is likely to reveal an earnest line of character motivation. When I complete a novel and want to know more about a character, the best I can hope for is that the author happened to have the same thought and is willing to act on it. When I finished watching the Blueberry TV cut of Doomsday and wondered what the fuck Ranboo's deal was, I was able to dig up VODs and see it all first hand. Plenty of plotlines are cut short and plenty of perspectives have been deleted, but on some level these flaws in basic storytelling are a rarely explored reflection of the real world. Because history is not a streamlined novel. No history book can fully encapsulate the events it portrays, but we know that every character contained within it has their own perspective, and that every thread in the knot can be pulled on further if we're just lucky enough to have not lost the information to time.

There are, of course, a ridiculous number of downsides to this approach to storytelling. But, since this is my first time encountering this specific type of narrative, to me they are new and interesting downsides. Flaws that haven't yet dug grooves into my patience. I'm quite eager to see artists build on this example, wrestle with those flaws, and either find solutions or find some other approach that's even better.

I've somehow rambled for 6 paragraphs and barely touched on any specific character and story beats, but I better cut myself off here for now. If you want more of a rundown of notable design choices, I could certainly be baited into more of that lol.

[ne0nwithazero]

/ Long Vent rambles etc. I was just going to make a short post, but it escalated, so uh... tw mental health talk

I told myself I wanted to make at least one more Cable AU cutscene video before the year ends, but I've just had so many thoughts lately...

I haven't started planning it much beyond rotating scenes in my head. I've mainly been trying to flesh out other parts of the AU before getting to that... Plus my whole burnout situation hasn't been helping, setting up the website, starting the course next month, trying to take commissions on the side, having a cancer scare, all sorts of other health issues popping up, etc. It has not been a good year and this has been one of the few things to keep me afloat...

As much as I want to be able to do as much of this by myself, there are things that are just beyond my skill set. Music, battle concepts, environments, brainstorming ideas... Sure I can brute-force myself into learning it, and I'm just good enough at talking to myself that bouncing ideas off of myself can be a one-person feat

But like, even if I learn it, it all has started to feel so overwhelming... I keep finding myself wishing I had someone as invested as I am that could help, bouncing ideas out of someone who wasn't myself... But I don't know how to make people interested in what I'm doing or what I have to say...

Lately, I've been having these horrible near-constant RSD episodes every single day that just make me so blind to the support I do get.

Two days ago, I was just frozen in bed crying because of the way my brain made me perceive people's disdain for me (A fabricated disdain in my mind which wasn't there to begin with).

I feel like I could put all this love and care into my story and characters, but in the end, there are so many much more developed and fleshed-out AUs out there... What does mine have to offer? What's the point of pursuing a story for a predictive AU that will inevitably lose all relevance when the actual chapter of its source comes out?

I've just been comparing myself way too much to other AUs and creators and feeling inadequate... I feel like everyone is doing amazing things and I'm just here in the background, desperately trying to do it as well, but yet, I just constantly feel like I'm falling behind... Like my characters aren't enough, or that people are bored of them...

In my heart, I know for a fact that I'm doing it for myself. I'm doing it for the love I have for the characters, for the pride I have in my work, for the skills I can improve, for the hidden lore I keep putting in my stories, and for the facets of myself that all my characters embody one way or the other...

But I don't know for how much longer I can keep doing things for an audience of One...

[maraudersftw]

2021 in review: fanfic writer edition

Thank you for tagging me in this @missgryffin 🧡 So excited to share some of my writing stats and experiences from 2021 instead of actually getting any writing done because that's totally how you deal with a block 😎

Tagging (if you haven't done this already): @the-dream-team @efkgirldetective @joyseuphoria @sunshine-marauders @blitheringmcgonagall

BY THE NUMBERS *as of 12/25/21

words written: 380,779

words published (AO3): 376,777

# of published one-shots: 11

# of completed multi-chaps: 5

# of one-shots in progress: 0

# of ongoing multi-chaps: 3

# of fic ideas waiting their turn: impossible to tell 😂

longest work: Deception and Disguise (108k+ words)

shortest work: Heartbeats (2,865 words) ((barring HodgePodge drabbles))

most chapters in a fic: 31 (Room Service)

highest # of kudos: 717 (Room Service)

highest # of hits: 22,002 (Room Service)

top 3 fics by kudos: Room Service, HodgePodge, Set Ablaze

top 3 fics by hits: Room Service, HodgePodge, Deception and Disguise

BEHIND THE NUMBERS

most challenging fic to write: Room Service (because of situational blocks), Retribution (for the themes)

fic that came easiest to write: Set Ablaze

most true-to-the-outline fic: Room Service and Set Ablaze

most unlike-its-outline fic: Fashion Disaster because there was no plot

favorite reader freak-out: James's power reveal in Retribution (totally understandable)

most controversial scene: J/L fight scene in Room Service

hottest ask box topic of the year: guesses on James's and Lily's powers in Retribution

most loved OC: LOL I don't have enough OCs for this 😂

most hated OC: Same as above, although I guess Jonathan Jenkins!

favorite things about writing our heroes: Their love. I literally don't know what else to say, because the thing that makes Jily Jily for me is how madly and ardently they were in love with each other. Writing that love in 100 different scenarios never gets old

favorite villain to write: Haven't written many, but I'm excited to try Voldemort

favorite marauder to write: Sirius, hands down!️

most i've cried while writing a scene: Writing chapter 3 of Retribution was very emotionally taxing because of how much Lily was going through in those scenes, both physically and mentally

most i've laughed while writing a scene: Basically all of Fashion Disaster

smuttiest smut scene: Chapter 2 of Set Ablaze

favorite jily kiss i wrote: I think I'd say the kiss in chapter 19 of Room Service because of how much pining and longing it followed. It was quite the "finally!" moment

Quite fond of the unexpected Ret kiss as well!

hardest trope/thing to write: Jily/OC - this is something I've never written, and I don't think I have it in me to really dive into such a dynamic in any fleshed-out sort of way, simply because it physically pains me to write them romancing someone else T_T

easiest trope/thing to write: I always find that sexual tension comes to me the easiest, as does any smut that follows said tension. Spiralling thoughts/emotions/feelings are also my favourite things to explore

proudest fic moment: posting chapter 7 of Retribution because it had been living inside my head for a long time

any fic regrets? No regrets, actually. I try to see my progress across fics as I write them over time so that I can look back and see how far I've come as a writer. The only fic I've gone back and edited was Deception and Disguise, and only because there are scenes I wish I had added the first time

2021 fic habits to break: uhhhh don't start too many projects at once

2022 fic habits to make: MORE!!! PLOTTING!!! I tried this with RS and found that it really helps structure the story better

[being-worthy]

Sunday Home Cinema: Army of the Dead!!

I haven't done one of these reviews in a long time (thanks to Covid-19 ¬¬) but I'm glad this film was the one to get me back in doing these reviews.

Honestly, I found out about the film about two weeks ago when I clicked on it on YouTube out of curiosity. It looked good and I'm an all big fan of zombie films and series and every zombie-themed film/series, even if it's extremely bad made (e.g. Z Nation but it's so funny to watch).

Sorry for any mistakes or things that make not much sense but I'm writing this at 2.30am and I just wanted to write this down while it's still fresh (I might review it later on if I feel like it).

> SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!! <

Apparently, Zack Snyder's Army of the Dead (here's the trailer), which can be watched on Netflix, is the prequel of Dawn of the Dead from 2004 also directed by him, which was a remake of the George A. Romero classic. I've got a hard time seeing this due to the zombies being so different but well, let's just roll with it.

Scott Ward (played by Dave Bautista) is offered/hired for $50 million by Bly Tanaka (villain/businessman played by Hiroyuki Sanada) to break into a walled Las Vegas after it was overrun by a zombie outbreak starting at the outskirts of the city with patient zero aka alpha zombie Zeus (more to the different zombie types later on) to "apparently" retrieve $200 million that is stashed in a safe at the casino's basement. Basically, it's like Ocean's Eleven but with zombies giving the film a nice touch.

I knew from the moment Tanaka offered Scott this job that there was going to be more to it. Why else would a stinking rich guy like Tanaka need to have a group to retrieve some money when: a. the insurance paid him some of that money back. I know he mentions he can't use it but come on, people like him know how to find either a way around whatever rule there might be or even wash it. And b. he looks like a guy who understands how business works and is well off, so you're telling me he wants to send a group there just for $200 million? B*tch please, I'm sure that's just petty cash to him, and there's surely more to it, especially after one of his goons (Martin) "invites" himself to tag along with the group to "make sure" they get the job done.

If I was offered that kind of money to go to a completely sealed city ruled by zombies, I wouldn't accept it no matter how bad my situation might be. The probability that something might go sideways is too high not to mention the risk that the virus spreads out to the rest of the world, I wouldn’t be able to live with that on my conscience.

In order to pull off this heist Scott assembles a team for the mission:

Vanderohe, the tank and chainsaw man. There'll be a little paragraph for him since his fate doesn't make entirely sense to me.

Marianne Peters, the pilot.

Maria Cruz, the mechanic.

Kate Ward, a volunteer in the quarantine zone. She's Scott's daughter and the only (human) survivor in the film.

Geeta, the mother. She ventures into the zombie-infested Vegas to find money in order to pay for safe passage out of the quarantine zone for herself and her children. I believe she dies in the helicopter crash but we don't see her body, so she might be alive somewhat?

Ludwig Dieter, the thief/safe expert, and I love how he questions everything lol!

Lilly "The Coyote", "the one who knows her stuff" aka zombie expert. Somehow interesting that she's got a conscience/good heart.

Martin, the inside man, and Bly Tanaka's right hand and got the death he deserved by kitten Valentine.

Mikey Guzman, the Sharpshooter and a YouTuber.

Chambers, the muscles and Guzman's sidekick (sort of). Her death was very predictable and her own fault! Girl, why the hell would you tell Martin that you don't trust him directly to his face?! That's such a rookie mistake!!

Burt Cummings, also the muscle for like 5 minutes before turning into the bait/bargain chip for a "deal" with the zombies in order to pass their territory. Overall, he's just a big jerk.

We see the first five people are survivors of the outbreak when Vegas was "freshly" being overrun by zombies and barely made it out of the city before it was completely sealed off. The rest of them are new characters. Almost none of them have any deep character story/feeling/development, most of them are quite plain and you don't care whether they survive or not. I've got also a hard time seeing any father-daughter relationship between Scott and Kate. I get that they haven't talked to each other since Scott had to put down Kate's mother after she got turned into a zombie but if I hadn’t seen the beginning I'd say they're just two strangers who met during the outbreak and he saved her at some point.

I very much like the fact that they introduce different types of zombies! On one hand, we've got the standard zombies aka shamblers who move slowly and are dead if you blow their brains out and if they bite you you become a shambler too. Then, there are the alphas who are fast (so fast that they can dodge bullets), they can also think, take orders, and are very organised. If you're bitten by one you become an alpha too but they also die if they're shot in the head which is easier said than done! We've also got a zombie horse, that's more bone than anything else, and a big tiger kitten called Valentine who used to be part of Siegfried & Roy's show (which also throws in the question, during which year is this movie set? They've both already passed away and they haven’t been retired from the entertainment world for a while before they passed away, and we see Tanaka carrying a modern mobile, so it must be during the past 2-3 our years.)

Their leader is patient zero aka Zeus who we see at the beginning being transported by a convoy of soldiers from Area 51 to somewhere else but never makes it there because he breaks free due to part of the convoy crashing into a car of a recent married (while the guy gets a blowjob and doesn’t watch the road!). He also takes the Bride as his queen (later on she's beheaded and her head still alive), who we see to be pregnant!! HOLY COW!! This throws in sooo many questions! For instance, how do zombies reproduce? The same way as we humans? What will the baby look like? Full zombie? A hybrid, half-human half-zombie? What power would they have? Do I even want to know or see this? Probably. Probably not. How many times did I wish they'd have introduced something like this in TWD (before I stopped watching it). At some point the virus that makes people zombies is supposed to mutate, every virus mutates at some point. We did already see a zombie baby in Dawn of the Dead but that was different since the woman was already in the late stages of pregnancy when she got bit. This one was one that was produced from zombie sex. I’ve got a feeling that their sex must be quite violent to say the least. Also, they way how the care for each other, especially Zeus for his Bride and child and seeks vengeance for both their deaths showing they’re capable of feeling and caring for their people. Maybe, just maybe want to find a way to survive without having to turn people but I think they’ll still need humans as a source of food. I don’t think they’re capable to live from eating normal food.

I've to make a special mention about Vanderohe. Besides, the fact that he's very attractive, there are a few things that don't make entirely sense to me.

He survives the nuclear blast of Las Vegas since he was looked inside the safe, which I can see being possible but (a little more possible than Indiana Jones seeking shelter in an old-fashioned fridge from a nuclear blast in Indiana Jones and Kingdom of Crystal Skull)... the whole city was nuked! And I mean big smoke of mushroom nuke! So, shouldn't the place, I don't know, be radioactive or something like that? And shouldn’t he find the nearest decontamination shower? Furthermore, it doesn't make sense that he gets infected, i.e. bitten. He gets into a fight with Zeus while they're in front of the safe and I watched that part several times and in slow motion too and we don't see Zeus bit him. There's one time where Zeus almost bites him but his teeth don't end up sinking into the flesh. He has Van in his hold, dislocates his right shoulder, and almost bites him there but only almost! In that same moment, Dieter hits Zeus in the head and pulls Van into the safe closing the door behind him (and most likely gets killed/turned by Zeus). I repeat there's no "visible" scene of Van being bitten by Zeus or any other zombie in another scene. So, where the f*ck did he get the bite and from who? I've also read that there's a theory of Van being immune because he's not turning as quick as the soldiers at the beginning of the movie when Zeus escapes the convoy (he still might be able to infect others though). He starts to feel lightheaded/dizzy and his body feels cold to the touch on the plane, and around the bite we see the veins turning black but that's it.

As much as I love the concept of the movie, it's very predictable as well as easy to figure out who makes it out alive and who makes it out the other kind of "alive" and it also reminded me a bit of Resident Evil (the first film was good and the rest just a waste). Tanaka wanting a fresh sample of an Alpha to make a virus that enables him to create an army of zombies he can control and take over the world. He could be Wesker's twin and his company the equivalent of the Umbrella Corporation. It's worth to watch but it doesn't compare to other zombie films such as 28 Days Later or even Dawn of the Dead (the classic and newer version), and many others.

[ratbonesroyalty]

NARRATOR 'Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems, in a place that perhaps you've seen in your dreams.  For the story that you are about to be told, took place in the holiday worlds of old.  Now, you've probably wondered where holidays come from.  If you haven't, I'd say it's time you begun. This Is Halloween SHADOW Boys and girls of every age Wouldn't you like to see something strange? SIAMESE SHADOW Come with us and you will see This, our town of Halloween PUMPKIN PATCH CHORUS This is Halloween, this is Halloween Pumpkins scream in the dead of night GHOSTS This is Halloween, everybody make a scene Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright It's our town, everybody scream In this town of Halloween CREATURE UNDER BED I am the one hiding under your bed Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red MAN UNDER THE STAIRS I am the one hiding under your stairs Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair CORPSE CHORUS This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! VAMPIRES In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song MAYOR In this town, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise CORPSE CHORUS Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll scream HARLEQUIN DEMON, WEREWOLF, AND MELTING MAN Scream! This is Halloween Red 'n' black, slimy green WEREWOLF Aren't you scared? WITCHES Well, that's just fine Say it once, say it twice Take the chance and roll the dice Ride with the moon in the dead of night HANGING TREE Everybody scream, everybody scream HANGED MEN In our town of Halloween CLOWN I am the clown with the tear-away face Here in a flash and gone without a trace SECOND GHOUL I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?" I am the wind blowing through your hair OOGIE BOOGIE SHADOW I am the shadow on the moon at night Filling your dreams to the brim with fright CORPSE CHORUS This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! CHILD CORPSE TRIO Tender lumplings everywhere Life's no fun without a good scare PARENT CORPSES That's our job, but we're not mean In our town of Halloween CORPSE CHORUS In this town MAYOR Don't we love it now? MAYOR WITH CORPSE CHORUS Everyone's waiting for the next surprise CORPSE CHORUS Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back And scream like a banshee Make you jump out of your skin This is Halloween, everybody scream Won't ya please make way for a very special guy Our man Jack is king of the pumpkin patch Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now EVERYONE This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! CORPSE CHILD TRIO In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song EVERYONE La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween! (etc.) EVERYONE [applause] WITCHES Cackling CLOWN It's over! BEHEMOTH We did it! [tummy bump] WEREWOLF Wasn't it terrifying? HYDE & CYCLOPS What a night! MAYOR Great Halloween everybody. JACK I believe it was our most horrible yet!  Thank you everyone. MAYOR No, thanks to  you, Jack.  Without your brilliant leadership - JACK Not at all Mayor. VAMPIRE (fat) You're such a scream, Jack WITCH You're a witch's fondest dream! WITCH (little) You made walls fall, Jack WITCH Walls fall?  You made the very mountains crack, Jack DR. FINKELSTEIN The deadly nightshade you slipped me wore off, Sally.   SALLY Let go! DR. FINKELSTEIN You're not ready for so much excitement! SALLY Yes I am! DR. FINKELSTEIN You're coming with me! SALLY No I'm not! [Sally pulls out the thread that's holding her arm on] DR. FINKELSTEIN Come back here you foolish oaf!  Ow! CREATURE FROM BLACK LAGOON Ooo Jack, you make wounds ooze and flesh crawl. JACK Thank you, thank you, thank you -- very much MAYOR Hold it!  We haven't given out the prizes yet!  Our first award goes to the vampires for most blood drained in a single evening. [applause] MAYOR A frightening and honorable mention goes to the fabulous Dark Lagoon leeches SAX PLAYER Nice work, Bone Daddy. JACK Yeah, I guess so.  Just like last year and the year before that and the year before that. [entering graveyard] Jack's Lament Performed by Danny Elfman There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best For my talents are renowned far and wide When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night I excel without ever even trying With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms I have seen grown men give out a shriek With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan I have swept the very bravest off their feet Yet year after year, it's the same routine And I grow so weary of the sound of screams And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King Have grown so tired of the same old thing Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones An emptiness began to grow There's something out there, far from my home A longing that I've never known I'm the master of fright, and a demon of light And I'll scare you right out of your pants To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky And I'm known throughout England and France And since I am dead, I can take off my head To recite Shakespearean quotations No animal nor man can scream like I can With the fury of my recitations But who here would ever understand That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin Would tire of his crown, if they only understood He'd give it all up if he only could Oh, there's an empty place in my bones That calls out for something unknown The fame and praise come year after year Does nothing for these empty tears [leaving graveyard and entering forest] SALLY Jack, I know how you feel.   [Sally gathers herbs] [back at Dr. Finkelstein's castle] DR. FINKELSTEIN Sally, you've come back. SALLY I had to. DR. FINKELSTEIN For this? [showing her arm] SALLY Yes. DR. FINKELSTEIN Shall we then. That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off -- SALLY Three times! DR. FINKELSTEIN You're mine you know!  I made you with my own hands. SALLY You can make other creations.  I'm restless, I can't help it. DR. FINKELSTEIN It's a phase my dear, it'll pass.  We need to be patient that's all. SALLY But, I don't want to be patient. [forest] ZERO bark JACK No Zero, not now.  I'm not in the mood. ZERO bark JACK All right.  [giving Zero a rib from himself]  Here ya go boy. [Zero gets rib and shows off his nose] [Back to Halloweentown] MAYOR Morning gents [to the band] [humming This Is Halloween, walks up to Jack's front door and rings bell] MAYOR Jack, you home? [getting worried, switches face and knocks with desperation then switch back to happy face] MAYOR Jack?  I've got the plans for next Halloween.  I need to go over them with you so we can get started.   MAYOR (with worried face) Jack, please, I'm only an elected an official here, I can't make decisions by myself.  Jack, answer me!! [falls down steps] ACCORDION PLAYER He's not home. MAYOR Where is he? SAX PLAYER He hasn't been home all night. MAYOR ooooo [back to forest] JACK (yawning)  Where are we?  It's someplace new. ZERO bark bark JACK What is this? [Jack sees Valentine's tree, shamrock tree, Easter egg tree, turkey tree] JACK [gasps] [sees Xmas tree] [turns knob and gets sucked in] ZERO bark bark JACK Whoa!!!! What's This? Performed by Danny Elfman What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere What's this? There's white things in the air What's this? I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong What's this? There's people singing songs What's this? The streets are lined with Little creatures laughing Everybody seems so happy Have I possibly gone daffy? What is this? What's this? There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads They're busy building toys And absolutely no one's dead There's frost on every window Oh, I can't believe my eyes And in my bones I feel the warmth That's coming from inside Oh, look What's this? They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss Why that looks so unique, inspired They're gathering around to hear a story Roasting chestnuts on a fire What's this? What's this? In here they've got a little tree, how queer And who would ever think And why? They're covering it with tiny little things They've got electric lights on strings And there's a smile on everyone So, now, correct me if I'm wrong This looks like fun This looks like fun Oh, could it be I got my wish? What's this? Oh my, what now? The children are asleep But look, there's nothing underneath No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them Or ensnare them, only little cozy things Secure inside their dreamland What's this? The monsters are all missing And the nightmares can't be found And in their place there seems to be Good feeling all around Instead of screams, I swear I can hear music in the air The smell of cakes and pies Are absolutely everywhere The sights, the sounds They're everywhere and all around I've never felt so good before This empty place inside of me is filling up I simply cannot get enough I want it, oh, I want it Oh, I want it for my own I've got to know I've got to know What is this place that I have found? What is this? Christmas Town, hmm... SANDY CLAWS Ho Ho Ho Ho ho ho ho ho JACK hmm.. [Halloweentown] CLOWN This has never happened before. Witch It's suspicious. Witch (little) It's peculiar. VAMPIRES It's scary. MAYOR Stand aside. WEREWOLF grrrr MAYOR Coming through.  We've got find Jack.  There's only 365 days left till next Halloween. WEREWOLF 364! MAYOR Is there anywhere we've forgotten to check? Clown I looked in every mausoleum. WITCHES We opened the sarcophagi. Hyde I tromped through the pumpkin patch. VAMPIRE I peeked behind the Cyclops's eye.  I did!  But he wasn't there. MAYOR It's time to sound the alarms. [DR. FINKELSTEIN's castle] SALLY Frog's breath will overpower any odor.  Bitter.  [coughing]  Worm's wart.  Where's that worm's wart? DR. FINKELSTEIN Sally, that soup ready yet? SALLY Coming....lunch DR. FINKELSTEIN Ah, what's that?  Worm's wart, mmm, and...frog's breath. SALLY What's wrong?  I-I thought you liked frog's breath. DR. FINKELSTEIN Nothing's more suspicious than frog's breath. Until you taste it I won't swallow a spoonful. SALLY I'm not hungry... [knocking spoon]  Oops! DR. FINKELSTEIN You want me to starve.  An old man like me who hardly has strength as it is.  Me, to whom you owe your very life. SALLY Oh don't be silly.  [eats soup with trick spoon]  Mmmm, see.  Scrumptious. [Dr. Finkelstein eats soup] [Halloween] MAYOR Did anyone think to dredge the lake? VAMPIRE Ah, this morning! ZERO barks Witch Hear that? Witch (little) What? Witch Shh! ZERO barks VAMPIRE Zero! [fanfare as Jack and Zero arrive] Kid Jack's back! MAYOR Where have you been? JACK Call a town meeting and I'll tell everyone all about it. MAYOR When? JACK Immediately! MAYOR [in his mayor truck] Town meeting, town meeting, town meeting tonight, town meeting tonight [at meeting] Clown [giggles as he hits Sally] JACK Listen everyone.  I want to tell you about Christmastown. Town Meeting Song Performed by Danny Elfman and Cast JACK There are objects so peculiar They were not to be believed All around, things to tantalize my brain It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen And as hard as I try I can't seem to describe Like a most improbable dream But you must believe when I tell you this It's as real as my skull and it does exist Here, let me show you This is a thing called a present The whole thing starts with a box DEVIL A box? is it steel? WEREWOLF Are there locks? HARLEOUIN DEMON Is it filled with a pox? DEVIL, WEREWOLF, HARLEQUIN DEMON A pox How delightful, a pox JACK If you please Just a box with bright-colored paper And the whole thing's topped with a bow WITCHES A bow? But why? How ugly What's in it? What's in it? JACK That's the point of the thing, not to know CLOWN It's a bat Will it bend? CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS It's a rat Will it break? UNDERSEA GAL Perhaps it s the head that I found in the lake JACK Listen now, you don't understand That's not the point of Christmas land Now, pay attention We pick up an oversized sock And hang it like this on the wall MR. HYDE Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot? MEDIUM MR. HYDE Let me see, let me look SMALL MR. HYDE Is it rotted and covered with gook? JACK Um, let me explain There's no foot inside, but there's candy Or sometimes it's filled with small toys MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON Small toys WINGED DEMON Do they bite? MUMMY Do they snap? WINGED DEMON Or explode in a sack? CORPSE KID Or perhaps they just spring out And scare girls and boys MAYOR What a splendid idea This Christmas sounds fun I fully endorse it Let's try it at once JACK Everyone, please now, not so fast There's something here that you don't quite grasp Well, I may as well give them what they want And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last For the ruler of this Christmas land Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice Least that's what I've come to understand And I've also heard it told That he's something to behold Like a lobster, huge and red When he sets out to slay with his rain gear on Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms That is, so I've heard it said And on a dark, cold night Under full moonlight He flies into a fog Like a vulture in the sky And they call him Sandy Claws Well, at least they're excited But they don't understand That special kind of feeling in Christmas land Oh, well... [Jack's house] JACK There's got to be a logical way to explain this Xmas thing. [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] DR. FINKELSTEIN You've poisoned me for the last time you wretched girl. [locks Sally away] [dingdong] DR. FINKELSTEIN Oh my head...the door is open. JACK Hel-lo DR. FINKELSTEIN Jack Skellington, up here my boy. JACK Dr. I need to borrow some equipment. DR. FINKELSTEIN Is that so, whatever for? JACK I'm conducting a series of experiments. DR. FINKELSTEIN How perfectly marvelous.  Curiosity killed the cat, you know. JACK I know. DR. FINKELSTEIN Come on into the lab and we'll get you all fixed up. SALLY Hmm.  Experiments? [Jack's house] JACK Zero, I'm home. [Jack examines & experiments with Xmas stuff] JACK Interesting reaction....but what does it mean? [Sally's room] [after Sally jumps to give Jack his basket...] DR. FINKELSTEIN You can come out now if you promise to behave.  Sally.  Sally.  Oooh!  Gone again! [Jack's house] [Sally gives Jack his basket and sneaks off and picks a flower which catches on fire] Jack's Obsession Performed by Danny Elfman and Cast CITIZENS OF HALLOWEEN Something's up with Jack Something's up with Jack Don't know if we're ever going to get him back He's all alone up there Locked away inside Never says a word Hope he hasn't died Something's up with Jack Something's up with Jack JACK Christmas time is buzzing in my skull Will it let me be? I cannot tell There's so many things I cannot grasp When I think I've got it, and then at last Through my bony fingers it does slip Like a snowflake in a fiery grip Something here I'm not quite getting Though I try, I keep forgetting Like a memory long since past Here in an instant, gone in a flash What does it mean? What does it mean? In these little bric-a-brac A secret's waiting to be cracked These dolls and toys confuse me so Confound it all, I love it though Simple objects, nothing more But something's hidden through a door Though I do not have the key Something's there I cannot see What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? Hmm... I've read these Christmas books so many times I know the stories and I know the rhymes I know the Christmas carols all by heart My skull's so full, it's tearing me apart As often as I've read them, something's wrong So hard to put my bony finger on Or perhaps it's really not as deep As I've been led to think Am I trying much too hard? Of course! I've been too close to see The answer's right in front of me Right in front of me It's simple really, very clear Like music drifting in the air Invisible, but everywhere Just because I cannot see it Doesn't mean I can't believe it You know, I think this Christmas thing It's not as tricky as it seems And why should they have all the fun? It should belong to anyone Not anyone, in fact, but me Why, I could make a Christmas tree And there's no reason I can find I couldn't handle Christmas time I bet I could improve it too And that's exactly what I'll do Hee,hee,hee JACK Eureka!!  This year, Christmas will be ours! MAYOR Patience, everyone.  Jack has a special Job for each of us.  Dr. Finkelstein, your Xmas assignment is ready.  Dr. Finkelstein to the front of the line. VAMPIRE What kind of a noise is that for a baby to make? JACK Perhaps it can be improved? VAMPIRES No problem! JACK I knew it!  Dr. thank you for coming.  We need some of these. [showing picture of Santa and sleigh] DR. FINKELSTEIN Hmm.. their construction should be exceedingly simple.  I think. MAYOR How horrible our Xmas will be. JACK No--how jolly. MAYOR [switches face] Oh, how jolly our Xmas will be.  [gets pelted]  What are you doing here? LOCK Jack sent for us. SHOCK Specifically. BARREL By name. LOCK Lock SHOCK Shock BARREL Barrel MAYOR Jack, Jack it's Oogie's boys! JACK Ah, Halloween's finest trick or treaters.  The job I have for you is top secret.  It requires craft, cunning, mischief. SHOCK And we thought you didn't like us, Jack. [giggles] JACK Absolutely no one is to know about it.  Not a soul.  Now-- [whispers to LS&B] And one more thing -- leave that no account Ooogie Boogie out of this! BARREL Whatever you say, Jack. SHOCK Of course Jack. LOCK Wouldn't dream of it Jack. [all said with their fingers crossed] Kidnap the Sandy Claws Performed by Paul Reubens, Catherine O'Hara, and Danny Elfman LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws LOCK I wanna do it BARREL Let's draw straws SHOCK Jack said we should work together Three of a kind LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Birds of a feather Now and forever Wheeee La, la, la, la, la Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up real tight Throw away the key and then Turn off all the lights SHOCK First, we're going to set some bait Inside a nasty trap and wait When he comes a-sniffing we will Snap the trap and close the gate LOCK Wait! I've got a better plan To catch this big red lobster man Let's pop him in a boiling pot And when he's done we'll butter him up LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Kidnap the Sandy Claws Throw him in a box Bury him for ninety years Then see if he talks SHOCK Then Mr. Oogie Boogie Man Can take the whole thing over then He'll be so pleased, I do declare That he will cook him rare LOCK,SHOCK, AND BARREL Wheeee LOCK I say that we take a cannon Aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more SHOCK You're so stupid, think now lf we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green LOCK,SHOCK, AND BARREL Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag Throw him in the ocean Then, see if he is sad LOCK AND SHOCK Because Mr. Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy around If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town BARREL He'll be so pleased by our success That he'll reward us too, I'll bet LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Perhaps he'll make his special brew Of snake and spider stew Ummm! We're his little henchmen and We take our job with pride We do our best to please him And stay on his good side SHOCK I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb BARREL I'm not the dumb one LOCK You're no fun SHOCK Shut up LOCK Make me SHOCK I've got something, listen now This one is real good, you'll see We'll send a present to his door Upon there'll be a note to read Now, in the box we'll wait and hide Until his curiosity entices him to look inside BARREL And then we'll have him One, two, three LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick Kidnap the Sandy Claws, chop him into bits Mr. Oogie Boogie is sure to get his kicks Kidnap the Sandy Claws, see what we will see Lock him in a cage and then, throw away the key OOGIE BOOGIE Sandy Claws..hahaha [city hall] JACK It goes something like this.  [Jingle bells] How about it?  Think you can manage? PERSON INSIDE BASS a one, and a two, and a three, and a. . . [Jingle in a flat key by the band] MAYOR Next! JACK Fantastic!  Now why don't you all practice on that and we'll be in great shape.  Sally, I need your help more than anyone's.   SALLY You certainly do, Jack.  I had the most terrible vision. JACK That's splendid. SALLY No, it was about your Xmas.  There was smoke and fire. JACK That not my Xmas.  My Xmas is filled with laughter and joy and this--my Sandy Claws outfit.  I want you to make it. SALLY Jack, please, listen to me--it's going to be a disaster. JACK How could it be--just follow the pattern.  This part is red, the trim is white. SALLY It's a mistake, Jack. JACK Now don't be modest, who else is clever enough to make my Sandy claws outfit. MAYOR Next! JACK I have every confidence in you. SALLY But it seems wrong to me, very wrong. [to Behemoth] JACK This device is called a nutcracker. LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL Jack, Jack we caught him we caught him. JACK Perfect!  Open it up.  Quickly! [opens to reveal the Easter bunny] JACK That's not Sandy Claws! SHOCK It isn't? BARREL Who is it? BEHEMOTH Bunny! JACK Not Sandy Claws...take him back! LOCK We followed your instructions-- BARREL we went through the door-- JACK Which door?  There's more than one.  Sandy Claws is behind the door shaped like this.   [shows Xmas cookie in shape of tree] SHOCK I told you! [LS&B start fighting] JACK Arr!!  [making scary face at LS&B] JACK I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, sir.  Take him home first  and apologize again.  Be careful with Sandy Claws when you fetch him.  Treat him nicely. LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL Got it.  We'll get it right next time. [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] DR. FINKELSTEIN You will be a decided improvement over that treacherous Sally. IGOR Master, the plans. DR. FINKELSTEIN Excellent, Igor. [throws him a dog bone] Making Christmas Performed by Danny Elfman and the Citizens of Halloween CLOWN This time, this time GROUP Making Christmas ACCORDION PLAYER Making Christmas MAYOR Making Christmas, making Christmas Is so fine GROUP It's ours this time And won't the children be surprised It's ours this time CHILD CORPSE Making Christmas MUMMY Making Christmas MUMMY AND CORPSE CHILD Making Christmas WITCHES Time to give them something fun WITCHES AND CREATURE LADY They'll talk about for years to come GROUP Let's have a cheer from everyone It's time to party DUCK TOY Making Christmas, making Christmas VAMPIRES Snakes and mice get wrapped up so nice With spider legs and pretty bows VAMPIRES AND WINGED DEMON It's ours this time CORPSE FATHER All together, that and this CORPSE FATHER, WOLF MAN With all our tricks we're CORPSE FATHER, WOLF MAN, DEVIL Making Christmastime WOLF MAN Here comes Jack JACK I don't believe what's happening to me My hopes, my dreams, my fantasies Hee, hee, hee, hee HARLEQUIN Won't they be impressed, I am a genius See how I transformed this old rat Into a most delightful hat JACK Hmm, my compliments from me to you On this your most intriguing hat Consider though this substitute A bat in place of this old rat Huh! No, no, no, now that's all wrong This thing will never make a present It's been dead now for much too long Try something fresher, something pleasant Try again, don't give up THREE MR. HYDES All together, that and this With all our tricks we're making Christmastime (Instrumental) GROUP This time, this time JACK It's ours! GROUP Making Christmas, making Christmas La, la, la It's almost here GROUP AND WOLF MAN And we can't wait GROUP AND HARLEOUIN So ring the bells and celebrate GROUP 'Cause when the full moon starts to climb We'll all sing out JACK It's Christmastime Hee, hee, hee [Christmastown] SANDY CLAWS Kathleen, Bobby, Susie, yes, Susie's been nice.  Nice, nice, naughty, nice, nice, nice.  There are hardly any naughty children this year. [door chime:  jingle all the way] SANDY CLAWS Now who could that be? LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL Trick or treat! SANDY CLAWS Huh? [back to Halloweentown] [to Jack in Sandy garb] SALLY You don't look like yourself Jack, not at all. JACK Isn't that wonderful.  It couldn't be more wonderful! SALLY But you're the Pumpkin King. JACK Not anymore.  And I feel so much better now. SALLY Jack, I know you think something's missing.  But -- [pricks Jack's finger with needle] JACK SALLY Sorry JACK You're right, something is missing but what?  I've got the beard, the coat, the boots -- LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL Jack, Jack  this time we bagged him! LOCK This time we really did! BARREL He sure is big Jack! SHOCK And heavy! SANDY CLAWS Let me out! JACK Sandy Claws in person.  What a pleasure to meet you.  Why you have hands!  You don't have claws at all. SANDY CLAWS Where am I? JACK Surprised aren't you?  I knew you would be.  You don't need to have another worry about Xmas this year.   SANDY CLAWS What? JACK Consider this a vacation Sandy,  a reward.  It's your turn to take it easy. SANDY CLAWS But there must be some mistake! JACK See that he's comfortable.  Just a second fellows.  Of course, that's what I'm missing.   SANDY CLAWS But -- JACK Thanks!  [took Sandy's hat] SANDY CLAWS You just can't...  Hold on where are we going now? JACK ho ho ho SALLY This is worse than I thought, much worse.  I know... SANDY CLAWS Me?  On vacation on Xmas eve? BARREL Where are we taking him? SALLY Where? LOCK To Oogie boogie, of course.  There isn't anywhere in the whole world more comfortable than that and Jack said to make him comfortable.  Didn't he? SHOCK & BARREL Yes he did. SANDY CLAWS Haven't you heard of peace on earth and good will toward men? LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL No! [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] [getting fog juice] SALLY This'll stop Jack. [working on new creation to replace Sally] DR. FINKELSTEIN What a joy to think of all we'll have in common.  We'll have conversations worth having. [Oogie's] LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL [laughing] SANDY CLAWS Don't do this.  Naughty children never get any presents. SHOCK I think he might be too big. LOCK No he's not.  If he can go down a chimney, he can fit down here! [in Oogie's lair] Oogie Boogie's Song Performed by Ken Page with Ed lvory OOGIE BOOGIE Well, well, well, what have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Oh, I'm really scared So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my eyes You're jokin' me, you gotta be This can't be the right guy He's ancient, he's ugly I don't know which is worse I might just split a seam now If I don't die laughing first Mr. Oogie Boogie says There's trouble close at hand You'd better pay attention now 'Cause I'm the Boogie Man And if you aren't shakin' There's something very wrong 'Cause this may be the last time You hear the boogie song, ohhh THREE SKELETONS Ohhh OOGIE BOOGIE Ohhh TWO SKELETONS IN VICE Ohhh OOGIE BOOGIE Ohhh THREE BATS Ohhh, he's the Oogie Boogie Man SANTA Release me now Or you must face the dire consequences The children are expecting me So please, come to your senses OOGIE BOOGIE You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my ears Would someone shut this fella up I'm drownin' in my tears It's funny, I'm laughing You really are too much And now, with your permission I'm going to do my stuff SANTA What are you going to do? OOGIE BOOGIE I'm gonna do the best I can Oh, the sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess With lives on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine SANTA Release me fast or you will have to Answer for this heinous act OOGIE BOOGIE Oh, brother, you're something You put me in a spin You aren't comprehending The position that you're in It's hopeless, you're finished You haven't got a prayer 'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie And you ain't going nowhere [LS&B laughing] [back to Halloweentown] [Sally pouring fog juice into fountain] [Jack appears from coffin and there's applause] MAYOR Think of us as you soar triumphantly through the sky outshining every star.  Your silhouette a dark blot on the moon, you who are our pride, you who are our glory, you who have frightened billions into an early grave.   [the fog starts to get worse] MAYOR You who have eh, devastated the souls of the living... JACK Oh no!  We can't take off in this!  The reindeer can't see an inch in front of their noses. SALLY Whew! VAMPIRE This fog's as thick as, as... CYCLOPS Jelly brains VAMPIRE Thicker! JACK There go all of my hope, my precious plans, my glorious dreams. Kid [crying]  There goes Xmas. ZERO barks JACK No Zero, down boy.  My what a brilliant nose you have.  The better to light my way!  To the head of the team, Zero!  We're off! SALLY Wait Jack, no! [Jack is off!] [cheers] JACK ho ho ha ha ha SALLY Good bye Jack, my dearest Jack.  Oh how I hope my premonition is wrong. Sally's Song Performed by Catherine O'Hara I sense there's something in the wind That feels like tragedy's at hand And though I'd like to stand by him Can't shake this feeling that I have The worst is just around the bend And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it's not to be What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us then? Although I'd like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn't last And will we ever end up together? No, I think not, it's never to become For I am not the one [Jack playing Sandy] JACK ho ho ho ho ho ho he he he [lands loudly & wakes up little kid] A little kid Santa! [sees Jack] [gasps]  Santa? JACK Merry Xmas!  And what is your name? Kid uh uh JACK That's all right.  I have a special present for you anyway. There you go sonny.  Hohohohehehe [goes back up chimney] Mother And what did Santa bring you honey? [pulls out shrunken head] [mother and father scream] JACK Merry Xmas! Cop [ON PHONE] Hello, police. [frantic peanuts-type talk] Attacked by Xmas toys?  That's strange.  That's the second toy complaint we've had. JACK hohohohehehe [killer wreath, snake, vampire toy, killer duck] [screams] [Jack puts toys down chimneys] [screams] [Jack in the box chases fat kid] JACK You're welcome one and all! Cop [on phone] Where'd you spot him? ---Fast as we can, ma'am ---Police ---I know, I know a skeleton ---Keep calm ---Turn off all the lights ---Make sure the doors are Locked ---Hello, police Newscaster Reports are pouring in from all over the globe that an impostor is shamelessly impersonating Santa Claus, mocking and mangling this joyous holiday. Halloween residents [cheers] Newscaster Police assure us that this moment, military units are mobilizing to stop the perpetrator of this heinous crime. SALLY [over the Newscaster] Jack, someone has to help Jack.  Where'd they take that Sandy Claws? Newscaster --Come back and save Xmas JACK Look Zero, search lights!   [firing at Jack] JACK They're celebrating!  They're thanking us for doing such a good job. [almost hits Zero] JACK Whoa, careful down there, you almost hit us.   ZERO bark JACK It's ok, Zero.  Head higher! [Oogie lair] OOGIE BOOGIE Are you a gamblin man, Sandy?  Let's play.   [sees sally's leg] OOGIE BOOGIE Mmmm.. my, my....what have we here? [Sally's hands start to rescue Sandy] SALLY [whispering]  I'll get you out of here. OOGIE BOOGIE Ah, lovely.  Tickle, tickle, tickle.  Tickle, tickle, tickle. [Sally's hands untie Sandy] [Oogie realizes that there's no body to the leg] OOGIE BOOGIE What?!?  You trying to make a dupe out of me? [Oogie sucks Sandy and Sally back in] [back to Jack] JACK Who's next on my list.  Ah, little Harry and Jordan.  Won't they be surprised. [sleigh gets hit] JACK They're trying to hit us!  ZERO! ZERO Bark [sleigh gets hit] [as Jack's falling] JACK Merry Xmas to all and to all a good night... [Halloween] WEREWOLF howl! MAYOR (with white face) I knew this Xmas thing was a bad idea.  I felt it in my gut.  Terrible news folks.  The worst tragedy of our times.  Jack has been blown to smithereens.  Terrible, terrible news. [back to "normal" town] Cop [in car] Attention, attention citizens.  Terrible news.  There's still no sign of Santa Claus.  Although the impostor has been shot down, it looks like Xmas will have to be canceled this year.  I repeat the impostor has been shot down but there's still no sign ...... [Jack in cemetery] Poor Jack Performed by Danny Elfman What have I done? What have I done? How could I be so blind? All is lost, where was I? Spoiled all, spoiled all Everything's gone all wrong What have I done? What have I done? Find a deep cave to hide in In a million years they'll find me Only dust and a plaque That reads, 'Here Lies Poor Old Jack" But I never intended all this madness, never And nobody really understood, well how could they? That all I ever wanted was to bring them something great Why does nothing ever turn out like it should? Well, what the heck, I went and did my best And, by god, I really tasted something swell And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did And for the first time since I don't remember when I felt just like my old bony self again And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King That's right! I am the Pumpkin King, ha, ha, ha, ha And I just can't wait until next Halloween 'Cause I've got some new ideas that will really make them scream And, by God, I'm really going to give it all my might Uh oh, I hope there's still time to set things right Sandy Claws, hmm [Oogie lair] SALLY You wait till Jack hears about this.  By the time he's through with you, you'll be lucky if you... MAYOR The king of Halloween has been blown to smithereens.  Skeleton Jack is now a pile of dust. SALLY [gasp] JACK Come on Zero.  Xmas isn't over yet! OOGIE BOOGIE What's that you were saying about luck, rag doll? SALLY Help, help, help, help OOGIE BOOGIE Sandy, looks like it's Oogie's turn to boogie. SALLY [scream] OOGIE BOOGIE one 2 3 4 5 6 7 -- hahaha SANDY CLAWS This can't be happening! OOGIE BOOGIE Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.  Oh, I'm feeling weak...with hunger. One more roll of the dice oughta do it.  Haha [rolls dice] What!  Snake eyes.  [bang on table] Eleven!  Haha  looks like I won the jackpot! Bye bye doll face and sandman. Ha, ha, ha [about to dump Sally & Sandy Claus into the lava] What the... JACK Hello Oogie OOGIE BOOGIE Jack, but they said you were dead.  You must be double dead. Well come on bone man. ZERO bark bark OOGIE BOOGIE oooo ooo ooo.  Pull an arm.  ha ha SALLY Jack look out! OOGIE BOOGIE So long, Jack.  haha JACK How dare you treat my friends so shamefully. [Jack pulls the thread that came loose that held Oogie together] OOGIE BOOGIE Now look what you've done.  My bugs, my bugs, my bugs, bye bye bye JACK Forgive me Mr. claws, I'm afraid I've made a terrible mess of your holiday. SANDY CLAWS Bumpy sleigh ride, Jack?  The next time you get the urge to take over someone else's holiday, I'd listen to her!  She's the only one who makes any sense around this insane asylum! Skeletons.... JACK I hope there's still time-- SANDY CLAWS To fix Xmas?  Of course there is, I'm Santa Claus! [and laying a finger aside of his nose, up Oogie's chimney he rose] SALLY He'll fix things Jack.  He knows what to do. JACK How did you get down here Sally? SALLY Oh, I was trying to, well, I wanted to, to -- JACK to help me SALLY I couldn't just let you just... JACK Sally, I can't believe I never realized...that you... MAYOR Jack, Jack! BARREL Here he is! LOCK Alive! SHOCK Just like we said. MAYOR Grab a hold my boy! JACK & SALLY whoa! NEWSCASTER Good news, folks.  Santa Claus, the one and only has finally been spotted.  Old Saint Nick appears to be traveling at supersonic speed.   He's setting things right, bringing joy and cheer wherever he goes.  Yes folks, Kris Kringle has pulled it out of the bag and delivered Xmas to excited children all over the world! Finale Performed by Danny Elfman, Catherine O'Hara, and the Citizens of Halloween CHORUS La, la, la, (etc.) Jack's OK, and he's back, OK CHILD CORPSE AND CHORUS He's all right MAYOR AND CHORUS Let's shout, make a fuss Scream it out, wheee CHORUS Jack is back now, everyone sing In our town of Halloween JACK It's great to be home! SANDY CLAWS Hohohohoho Happy Halloween! [Sandy Claws brings snow to Halloween] JACK Merry Xmas! CHILD CORPSE What's this? CYCLOPS What's this? HARLEQUIN DEMON I haven't got a clue MR. HYDE What's this? CLOWN Why it's completely new OFF-SCREEN VOICE What's this? WOLFMAN Must be a Christmas thing OFF-SCREEN VOICE What's this? MAYOR It's really very strange CHORUS This is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! What's this? What's this? (Repeat) DR. FINKELSTEIN Careful, my precious jewel! [Dr. F. with his new wife!] JACK My dearest friend, if you don't mind I'd like to join you by your side Where we can gaze into the stars JACK AND SALLY And sit together, now and forever For it is plain as anyone can see We're simply meant to be

[pandacakeswithsyrup]

The whole script to “Nightmare Before Christmas” By: Time Burton

The script to Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas NARRATOR 'Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems, in a place that perhaps you've seen in your dreams.  For the story that you are about to be told, took place in the holiday worlds of old.  Now, you've probably wondered where holidays come from.  If you haven't, I'd say it's time you begun. This Is Halloween SHADOW Boys and girls of every age Wouldn't you like to see something strange? SIAMESE SHADOW Come with us and you will see This, our town of Halloween PUMPKIN PATCH CHORUS This is Halloween, this is Halloween Pumpkins scream in the dead of night GHOSTS This is Halloween, everybody make a scene Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright It's our town, everybody scream In this town of Halloween CREATURE UNDER BED I am the one hiding under your bed Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red MAN UNDER THE STAIRS I am the one hiding under your stairs Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair CORPSE CHORUS This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! VAMPIRES In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song MAYOR In this town, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise CORPSE CHORUS Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll scream HARLEQUIN DEMON, WEREWOLF, AND MELTING MAN Scream! This is Halloween Red 'n' black, slimy green WEREWOLF Aren't you scared? WITCHES Well, that's just fine Say it once, say it twice Take the chance and roll the dice Ride with the moon in the dead of night HANGING TREE Everybody scream, everybody scream HANGED MEN In our town of Halloween CLOWN I am the clown with the tear-away face Here in a flash and gone without a trace SECOND GHOUL I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?" I am the wind blowing through your hair OOGIE BOOGIE SHADOW I am the shadow on the moon at night Filling your dreams to the brim with fright CORPSE CHORUS This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! CHILD CORPSE TRIO Tender lumplings everywhere Life's no fun without a good scare PARENT CORPSES That's our job, but we're not mean In our town of Halloween CORPSE CHORUS In this town MAYOR Don't we love it now? MAYOR WITH CORPSE CHORUS Everyone's waiting for the next surprise CORPSE CHORUS Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back And scream like a banshee Make you jump out of your skin This is Halloween, everybody scream Won't ya please make way for a very special guy Our man Jack is king of the pumpkin patch Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now EVERYONE This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! CORPSE CHILD TRIO In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song EVERYONE La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween! (etc.) EVERYONE [applause] WITCHES Cackling CLOWN It's over! BEHEMOTH We did it! [tummy bump] WEREWOLF Wasn't it terrifying? HYDE & CYCLOPS What a night! MAYOR Great Halloween everybody. JACK I believe it was our most horrible yet!  Thank you everyone. MAYOR No, thanks to  you, Jack.  Without your brilliant leadership - JACK Not at all Mayor. VAMPIRE (fat) You're such a scream, Jack WITCH You're a witch's fondest dream! WITCH (little) You made walls fall, Jack WITCH Walls fall?  You made the very mountains crack, Jack DR. FINKELSTEIN The deadly nightshade you slipped me wore off, Sally.   SALLY Let go! DR. FINKELSTEIN You're not ready for so much excitement! SALLY Yes I am! DR. FINKELSTEIN You're coming with me! SALLY No I'm not! [Sally pulls out the thread that's holding her arm on] DR. FINKELSTEIN Come back here you foolish oaf!  Ow! CREATURE FROM BLACK LAGOON Ooo Jack, you make wounds ooze and flesh crawl. JACK Thank you, thank you, thank you -- very much MAYOR Hold it!  We haven't given out the prizes yet!  Our first award goes to the vampires for most blood drained in a single evening. [applause] MAYOR A frightening and honorable mention goes to the fabulous Dark Lagoon leeches SAX PLAYER Nice work, Bone Daddy. JACK Yeah, I guess so.  Just like last year and the year before that and the year before that. [entering graveyard] Jack's Lament Performed by Danny Elfman There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best For my talents are renowned far and wide When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night I excel without ever even trying With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms I have seen grown men give out a shriek With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan I have swept the very bravest off their feet Yet year after year, it's the same routine And I grow so weary of the sound of screams And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King Have grown so tired of the same old thing Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones An emptiness began to grow There's something out there, far from my home A longing that I've never known I'm the master of fright, and a demon of light And I'll scare you right out of your pants To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky And I'm known throughout England and France And since I am dead, I can take off my head To recite Shakespearean quotations No animal nor man can scream like I can With the fury of my recitations But who here would ever understand That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin Would tire of his crown, if they only understood He'd give it all up if he only could Oh, there's an empty place in my bones That calls out for something unknown The fame and praise come year after year Does nothing for these empty tears [leaving graveyard and entering forest] SALLY Jack, I know how you feel.   [Sally gathers herbs] [back at Dr. Finkelstein's castle] DR. FINKELSTEIN Sally, you've come back. SALLY I had to. DR. FINKELSTEIN For this? [showing her arm] SALLY Yes. DR. FINKELSTEIN Shall we then. That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off -- SALLY Three times! DR. FINKELSTEIN You're mine you know!  I made you with my own hands. SALLY You can make other creations.  I'm restless, I can't help it. DR. FINKELSTEIN It's a phase my dear, it'll pass.  We need to be patient that's all. SALLY But, I don't want to be patient. [forest] ZERO bark JACK No Zero, not now.  I'm not in the mood. ZERO bark JACK All right.  [giving Zero a rib from himself]  Here ya go boy. [Zero gets rib and shows off his nose] [Back to Halloweentown] MAYOR Morning gents [to the band] [humming This Is Halloween, walks up to Jack's front door and rings bell] MAYOR Jack, you home? [getting worried, switches face and knocks with desperation then switch back to happy face] MAYOR Jack?  I've got the plans for next Halloween.  I need to go over them with you so we can get started.   MAYOR (with worried face) Jack, please, I'm only an elected an official here, I can't make decisions by myself.  Jack, answer me!! [falls down steps] ACCORDION PLAYER He's not home. MAYOR Where is he? SAX PLAYER He hasn't been home all night. MAYOR ooooo [back to forest] JACK (yawning)  Where are we?  It's someplace new. ZERO bark bark JACK What is this? [Jack sees Valentine's tree, shamrock tree, Easter egg tree, turkey tree] JACK [gasps] [sees Xmas tree] [turns knob and gets sucked in] ZERO bark bark JACK Whoa!!!! What's This? Performed by Danny Elfman What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere What's this? There's white things in the air What's this? I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong What's this? There's people singing songs What's this? The streets are lined with Little creatures laughing Everybody seems so happy Have I possibly gone daffy? What is this? What's this? There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads They're busy building toys And absolutely no one's dead There's frost on every window Oh, I can't believe my eyes And in my bones I feel the warmth That's coming from inside Oh, look What's this? They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss Why that looks so unique, inspired They're gathering around to hear a story Roasting chestnuts on a fire What's this? What's this? In here they've got a little tree, how queer And who would ever think And why? They're covering it with tiny little things They've got electric lights on strings And there's a smile on everyone So, now, correct me if I'm wrong This looks like fun This looks like fun Oh, could it be I got my wish? What's this? Oh my, what now? The children are asleep But look, there's nothing underneath No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them Or ensnare them, only little cozy things Secure inside their dreamland What's this? The monsters are all missing And the nightmares can't be found And in their place there seems to be Good feeling all around Instead of screams, I swear I can hear music in the air The smell of cakes and pies Are absolutely everywhere The sights, the sounds They're everywhere and all around I've never felt so good before This empty place inside of me is filling up I simply cannot get enough I want it, oh, I want it Oh, I want it for my own I've got to know I've got to know What is this place that I have found? What is this? Christmas Town, hmm... SANDY CLAWS Ho Ho Ho Ho ho ho ho ho JACK hmm.. [Halloweentown] CLOWN This has never happened before. Witch It's suspicious. Witch (little) It's peculiar. VAMPIRES It's scary. MAYOR Stand aside. WEREWOLF grrrr MAYOR Coming through.  We've got find Jack.  There's only 365 days left till next Halloween. WEREWOLF 364! MAYOR Is there anywhere we've forgotten to check? Clown I looked in every mausoleum. WITCHES We opened the sarcophagi. Hyde I tromped through the pumpkin patch. VAMPIRE I peeked behind the Cyclops's eye.  I did!  But he wasn't there. MAYOR It's time to sound the alarms. [DR. FINKELSTEIN's castle] SALLY Frog's breath will overpower any odor.  Bitter.  [coughing]  Worm's wart.  Where's that worm's wart? DR. FINKELSTEIN Sally, that soup ready yet? SALLY Coming....lunch DR. FINKELSTEIN Ah, what's that?  Worm's wart, mmm, and...frog's breath. SALLY What's wrong?  I-I thought you liked frog's breath. DR. FINKELSTEIN Nothing's more suspicious than frog's breath. Until you taste it I won't swallow a spoonful. SALLY I'm not hungry... [knocking spoon]  Oops! DR. FINKELSTEIN You want me to starve.  An old man like me who hardly has strength as it is.  Me, to whom you owe your very life. SALLY Oh don't be silly.  [eats soup with trick spoon]  Mmmm, see.  Scrumptious. [Dr. Finkelstein eats soup] [Halloween] MAYOR Did anyone think to dredge the lake? VAMPIRE Ah, this morning! ZERO barks Witch Hear that? Witch (little) What? Witch Shh! ZERO barks VAMPIRE Zero! [fanfare as Jack and Zero arrive] Kid Jack's back! MAYOR Where have you been? JACK Call a town meeting and I'll tell everyone all about it. MAYOR When? JACK Immediately! MAYOR [in his mayor truck] Town meeting, town meeting, town meeting tonight, town meeting tonight [at meeting] Clown [giggles as he hits Sally] JACK Listen everyone.  I want to tell you about Christmastown. Town Meeting Song Performed by Danny Elfman and Cast JACK There are objects so peculiar They were not to be believed All around, things to tantalize my brain It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen And as hard as I try I can't seem to describe Like a most improbable dream But you must believe when I tell you this It's as real as my skull and it does exist Here, let me show you This is a thing called a present The whole thing starts with a box DEVIL A box? is it steel? WEREWOLF Are there locks? HARLEOUIN DEMON Is it filled with a pox? DEVIL, WEREWOLF, HARLEQUIN DEMON A pox How delightful, a pox JACK If you please Just a box with bright-colored paper And the whole thing's topped with a bow WITCHES A bow? But why? How ugly What's in it? What's in it? JACK That's the point of the thing, not to know CLOWN It's a bat Will it bend? CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS It's a rat Will it break? UNDERSEA GAL Perhaps it s the head that I found in the lake JACK Listen now, you don't understand That's not the point of Christmas land Now, pay attention We pick up an oversized sock And hang it like this on the wall MR. HYDE Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot? MEDIUM MR. HYDE Let me see, let me look SMALL MR. HYDE Is it rotted and covered with gook? JACK Um, let me explain There's no foot inside, but there's candy Or sometimes it's filled with small toys MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON Small toys WINGED DEMON Do they bite? MUMMY Do they snap? WINGED DEMON Or explode in a sack? CORPSE KID Or perhaps they just spring out And scare girls and boys MAYOR What a splendid idea This Christmas sounds fun I fully endorse it Let's try it at once JACK Everyone, please now, not so fast There's something here that you don't quite grasp Well, I may as well give them what they want And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last For the ruler of this Christmas land Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice Least that's what I've come to understand And I've also heard it told That he's something to behold Like a lobster, huge and red When he sets out to slay with his rain gear on Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms That is, so I've heard it said And on a dark, cold night Under full moonlight He flies into a fog Like a vulture in the sky And they call him Sandy Claws Well, at least they're excited But they don't understand That special kind of feeling in Christmas land Oh, well... [Jack's house] JACK There's got to be a logical way to explain this Xmas thing. [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] DR. FINKELSTEIN You've poisoned me for the last time you wretched girl. [locks Sally away] [dingdong] DR. FINKELSTEIN Oh my head...the door is open. JACK Hel-lo DR. FINKELSTEIN Jack Skellington, up here my boy. JACK Dr. I need to borrow some equipment. DR. FINKELSTEIN Is that so, whatever for? JACK I'm conducting a series of experiments. DR. FINKELSTEIN How perfectly marvelous.  Curiosity killed the cat, you know. JACK I know. DR. FINKELSTEIN Come on into the lab and we'll get you all fixed up. SALLY Hmm.  Experiments? [Jack's house] JACK Zero, I'm home. [Jack examines & experiments with Xmas stuff] JACK Interesting reaction....but what does it mean? [Sally's room] [after Sally jumps to give Jack his basket...] DR. FINKELSTEIN You can come out now if you promise to behave.  Sally.  Sally.  Oooh!  Gone again! [Jack's house] [Sally gives Jack his basket and sneaks off and picks a flower which catches on fire] Jack's Obsession Performed by Danny Elfman and Cast CITIZENS OF HALLOWEEN Something's up with Jack Something's up with Jack Don't know if we're ever going to get him back He's all alone up there Locked away inside Never says a word Hope he hasn't died Something's up with Jack Something's up with Jack JACK Christmas time is buzzing in my skull Will it let me be? I cannot tell There's so many things I cannot grasp When I think I've got it, and then at last Through my bony fingers it does slip Like a snowflake in a fiery grip Something here I'm not quite getting Though I try, I keep forgetting Like a memory long since past Here in an instant, gone in a flash What does it mean? What does it mean? In these little bric-a-brac A secret's waiting to be cracked These dolls and toys confuse me so Confound it all, I love it though Simple objects, nothing more But something's hidden through a door Though I do not have the key Something's there I cannot see What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? Hmm... I've read these Christmas books so many times I know the stories and I know the rhymes I know the Christmas carols all by heart My skull's so full, it's tearing me apart As often as I've read them, something's wrong So hard to put my bony finger on Or perhaps it's really not as deep As I've been led to think Am I trying much too hard? Of course! I've been too close to see The answer's right in front of me Right in front of me It's simple really, very clear Like music drifting in the air Invisible, but everywhere Just because I cannot see it Doesn't mean I can't believe it You know, I think this Christmas thing It's not as tricky as it seems And why should they have all the fun? It should belong to anyone Not anyone, in fact, but me Why, I could make a Christmas tree And there's no reason I can find I couldn't handle Christmas time I bet I could improve it too And that's exactly what I'll do Hee,hee,hee JACK Eureka!!  This year, Christmas will be ours! MAYOR Patience, everyone.  Jack has a special Job for each of us.  Dr. Finkelstein, your Xmas assignment is ready.  Dr. Finkelstein to the front of the line. VAMPIRE What kind of a noise is that for a baby to make? JACK Perhaps it can be improved? VAMPIRES No problem! JACK I knew it!  Dr. thank you for coming.  We need some of these. [showing picture of Santa and sleigh] DR. FINKELSTEIN Hmm.. their construction should be exceedingly simple.  I think. MAYOR How horrible our Xmas will be. JACK No--how jolly. MAYOR [switches face] Oh, how jolly our Xmas will be.  [gets pelted]  What are you doing here? LOCK Jack sent for us. SHOCK Specifically. BARREL By name. LOCK Lock SHOCK Shock BARREL Barrel MAYOR Jack, Jack it's Oogie's boys! JACK Ah, Halloween's finest trick or treaters.  The job I have for you is top secret.  It requires craft, cunning, mischief. SHOCK And we thought you didn't like us, Jack. [giggles] JACK Absolutely no one is to know about it.  Not a soul.  Now-- [whispers to LS&B] And one more thing -- leave that no account Ooogie Boogie out of this! BARREL Whatever you say, Jack. SHOCK Of course Jack. LOCK Wouldn't dream of it Jack. [all said with their fingers crossed] Kidnap the Sandy Claws Performed by Paul Reubens, Catherine O'Hara, and Danny Elfman LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws LOCK I wanna do it BARREL Let's draw straws SHOCK Jack said we should work together Three of a kind LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Birds of a feather Now and forever Wheeee La, la, la, la, la Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up real tight Throw away the key and then Turn off all the lights SHOCK First, we're going to set some bait Inside a nasty trap and wait When he comes a-sniffing we will Snap the trap and close the gate LOCK Wait! I've got a better plan To catch this big red lobster man Let's pop him in a boiling pot And when he's done we'll butter him up LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Kidnap the Sandy Claws Throw him in a box Bury him for ninety years Then see if he talks SHOCK Then Mr. Oogie Boogie Man Can take the whole thing over then He'll be so pleased, I do declare That he will cook him rare LOCK,SHOCK, AND BARREL Wheeee LOCK I say that we take a cannon Aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more SHOCK You're so stupid, think now lf we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green LOCK,SHOCK, AND BARREL Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag Throw him in the ocean Then, see if he is sad LOCK AND SHOCK Because Mr. Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy around If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town BARREL He'll be so pleased by our success That he'll reward us too, I'll bet LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Perhaps he'll make his special brew Of snake and spider stew Ummm! We're his little henchmen and We take our job with pride We do our best to please him And stay on his good side SHOCK I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb BARREL I'm not the dumb one LOCK You're no fun SHOCK Shut up LOCK Make me SHOCK I've got something, listen now This one is real good, you'll see We'll send a present to his door Upon there'll be a note to read Now, in the box we'll wait and hide Until his curiosity entices him to look inside BARREL And then we'll have him One, two, three LOCK, SHOCK, AND BARREL Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick Kidnap the Sandy Claws, chop him into bits Mr. Oogie Boogie is sure to get his kicks Kidnap the Sandy Claws, see what we will see Lock him in a cage and then, throw away the key OOGIE BOOGIE Sandy Claws..hahaha [city hall] JACK It goes something like this.  [Jingle bells] How about it?  Think you can manage? PERSON INSIDE BASS a one, and a two, and a three, and a. . . [Jingle in a flat key by the band] MAYOR Next! JACK Fantastic!  Now why don't you all practice on that and we'll be in great shape.  Sally, I need your help more than anyone's.   SALLY You certainly do, Jack.  I had the most terrible vision. JACK That's splendid. SALLY No, it was about your Xmas.  There was smoke and fire. JACK That not my Xmas.  My Xmas is filled with laughter and joy and this--my Sandy Claws outfit.  I want you to make it. SALLY Jack, please, listen to me--it's going to be a disaster. JACK How could it be--just follow the pattern.  This part is red, the trim is white. SALLY It's a mistake, Jack. JACK Now don't be modest, who else is clever enough to make my Sandy claws outfit. MAYOR Next! JACK I have every confidence in you. SALLY But it seems wrong to me, very wrong. [to Behemoth] JACK This device is called a nutcracker. LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL Jack, Jack we caught him we caught him. JACK Perfect!  Open it up.  Quickly! [opens to reveal the Easter bunny] JACK That's not Sandy Claws! SHOCK It isn't? BARREL Who is it? BEHEMOTH Bunny! JACK Not Sandy Claws...take him back! LOCK We followed your instructions-- BARREL we went through the door-- JACK Which door?  There's more than one.  Sandy Claws is behind the door shaped like this.   [shows Xmas cookie in shape of tree] SHOCK I told you! [LS&B start fighting] JACK Arr!!  [making scary face at LS&B] JACK I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, sir.  Take him home first  and apologize again.  Be careful with Sandy Claws when you fetch him.  Treat him nicely. LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL Got it.  We'll get it right next time. [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] DR. FINKELSTEIN You will be a decided improvement over that treacherous Sally. IGOR Master, the plans. DR. FINKELSTEIN Excellent, Igor. [throws him a dog bone] Making Christmas Performed by Danny Elfman and the Citizens of Halloween CLOWN This time, this time GROUP Making Christmas ACCORDION PLAYER Making Christmas MAYOR Making Christmas, making Christmas Is so fine GROUP It's ours this time And won't the children be surprised It's ours this time CHILD CORPSE Making Christmas MUMMY Making Christmas MUMMY AND CORPSE CHILD Making Christmas WITCHES Time to give them something fun WITCHES AND CREATURE LADY They'll talk about for years to come GROUP Let's have a cheer from everyone It's time to party DUCK TOY Making Christmas, making Christmas VAMPIRES Snakes and mice get wrapped up so nice With spider legs and pretty bows VAMPIRES AND WINGED DEMON It's ours this time CORPSE FATHER All together, that and this CORPSE FATHER, WOLF MAN With all our tricks we're CORPSE FATHER, WOLF MAN, DEVIL Making Christmastime WOLF MAN Here comes Jack JACK I don't believe what's happening to me My hopes, my dreams, my fantasies Hee, hee, hee, hee HARLEQUIN Won't they be impressed, I am a genius See how I transformed this old rat Into a most delightful hat JACK Hmm, my compliments from me to you On this your most intriguing hat Consider though this substitute A bat in place of this old rat Huh! No, no, no, now that's all wrong This thing will never make a present It's been dead now for much too long Try something fresher, something pleasant Try again, don't give up THREE MR. HYDES All together, that and this With all our tricks we're making Christmastime (Instrumental) GROUP This time, this time JACK It's ours! GROUP Making Christmas, making Christmas La, la, la It's almost here GROUP AND WOLF MAN And we can't wait GROUP AND HARLEOUIN So ring the bells and celebrate GROUP 'Cause when the full moon starts to climb We'll all sing out JACK It's Christmastime Hee, hee, hee [Christmastown] SANDY CLAWS Kathleen, Bobby, Susie, yes, Susie's been nice.  Nice, nice, naughty, nice, nice, nice.  There are hardly any naughty children this year. [door chime:  jingle all the way] SANDY CLAWS Now who could that be? LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL Trick or treat! SANDY CLAWS Huh? [back to Halloweentown] [to Jack in Sandy garb] SALLY You don't look like yourself Jack, not at all. JACK Isn't that wonderful.  It couldn't be more wonderful! SALLY But you're the Pumpkin King. JACK Not anymore.  And I feel so much better now. SALLY Jack, I know you think something's missing.  But -- [pricks Jack's finger with needle] JACK SALLY Sorry JACK You're right, something is missing but what?  I've got the beard, the coat, the boots -- LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL Jack, Jack  this time we bagged him! LOCK This time we really did! BARREL He sure is big Jack! SHOCK And heavy! SANDY CLAWS Let me out! JACK Sandy Claws in person.  What a pleasure to meet you.  Why you have hands!  You don't have claws at all. SANDY CLAWS Where am I? JACK Surprised aren't you?  I knew you would be.  You don't need to have another worry about Xmas this year.   SANDY CLAWS What? JACK Consider this a vacation Sandy,  a reward.  It's your turn to take it easy. SANDY CLAWS But there must be some mistake! JACK See that he's comfortable.  Just a second fellows.  Of course, that's what I'm missing.   SANDY CLAWS But -- JACK Thanks!  [took Sandy's hat] SANDY CLAWS You just can't...  Hold on where are we going now? JACK ho ho ho SALLY This is worse than I thought, much worse.  I know... SANDY CLAWS Me?  On vacation on Xmas eve? BARREL Where are we taking him? SALLY Where? LOCK To Oogie boogie, of course.  There isn't anywhere in the whole world more comfortable than that and Jack said to make him comfortable.  Didn't he? SHOCK & BARREL Yes he did. SANDY CLAWS Haven't you heard of peace on earth and good will toward men? LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL No! [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] [getting fog juice] SALLY This'll stop Jack. [working on new creation to replace Sally] DR. FINKELSTEIN What a joy to think of all we'll have in common.  We'll have conversations worth having. [Oogie's] LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL [laughing] SANDY CLAWS Don't do this.  Naughty children never get any presents. SHOCK I think he might be too big. LOCK No he's not.  If he can go down a chimney, he can fit down here! [in Oogie's lair] Oogie Boogie's Song Performed by Ken Page with Ed lvory OOGIE BOOGIE Well, well, well, what have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Oh, I'm really scared So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my eyes You're jokin' me, you gotta be This can't be the right guy He's ancient, he's ugly I don't know which is worse I might just split a seam now If I don't die laughing first Mr. Oogie Boogie says There's trouble close at hand You'd better pay attention now 'Cause I'm the Boogie Man And if you aren't shakin' There's something very wrong 'Cause this may be the last time You hear the boogie song, ohhh THREE SKELETONS Ohhh OOGIE BOOGIE Ohhh TWO SKELETONS IN VICE Ohhh OOGIE BOOGIE Ohhh THREE BATS Ohhh, he's the Oogie Boogie Man SANTA Release me now Or you must face the dire consequences The children are expecting me So please, come to your senses OOGIE BOOGIE You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my ears Would someone shut this fella up I'm drownin' in my tears It's funny, I'm laughing You really are too much And now, with your permission I'm going to do my stuff SANTA What are you going to do? OOGIE BOOGIE I'm gonna do the best I can Oh, the sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess With lives on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine SANTA Release me fast or you will have to Answer for this heinous act OOGIE BOOGIE Oh, brother, you're something You put me in a spin You aren't comprehending The position that you're in It's hopeless, you're finished You haven't got a prayer 'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie And you ain't going nowhere [LS&B laughing] [back to Halloweentown] [Sally pouring fog juice into fountain] [Jack appears from coffin and there's applause] MAYOR Think of us as you soar triumphantly through the sky outshining every star.  Your silhouette a dark blot on the moon, you who are our pride, you who are our glory, you who have frightened billions into an early grave.   [the fog starts to get worse] MAYOR You who have eh, devastated the souls of the living... JACK Oh no!  We can't take off in this!  The reindeer can't see an inch in front of their noses. SALLY Whew! VAMPIRE This fog's as thick as, as... CYCLOPS Jelly brains VAMPIRE Thicker! JACK There go all of my hope, my precious plans, my glorious dreams. Kid [crying]  There goes Xmas. ZERO barks JACK No Zero, down boy.  My what a brilliant nose you have.  The better to light my way!  To the head of the team, Zero!  We're off! SALLY Wait Jack, no! [Jack is off!] [cheers] JACK ho ho ha ha ha SALLY Good bye Jack, my dearest Jack.  Oh how I hope my premonition is wrong. Sally's Song Performed by Catherine O'Hara I sense there's something in the wind That feels like tragedy's at hand And though I'd like to stand by him Can't shake this feeling that I have The worst is just around the bend And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it's not to be What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us then? Although I'd like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn't last And will we ever end up together? No, I think not, it's never to become For I am not the one [Jack playing Sandy] JACK ho ho ho ho ho ho he he he [lands loudly & wakes up little kid] A little kid Santa! [sees Jack] [gasps]  Santa? JACK Merry Xmas!  And what is your name? Kid uh uh JACK That's all right.  I have a special present for you anyway. There you go sonny.  Hohohohehehe [goes back up chimney] Mother And what did Santa bring you honey? [pulls out shrunken head] [mother and father scream] JACK Merry Xmas! Cop [ON PHONE] Hello, police. [frantic peanuts-type talk] Attacked by Xmas toys?  That's strange.  That's the second toy complaint we've had. JACK hohohohehehe [killer wreath, snake, vampire toy, killer duck] [screams] [Jack puts toys down chimneys] [screams] [Jack in the box chases fat kid] JACK You're welcome one and all! Cop [on phone] Where'd you spot him? ---Fast as we can, ma'am ---Police ---I know, I know a skeleton ---Keep calm ---Turn off all the lights ---Make sure the doors are Locked ---Hello, police Newscaster Reports are pouring in from all over the globe that an impostor is shamelessly impersonating Santa Claus, mocking and mangling this joyous holiday. Halloween residents [cheers] Newscaster Police assure us that this moment, military units are mobilizing to stop the perpetrator of this heinous crime. SALLY [over the Newscaster] Jack, someone has to help Jack.  Where'd they take that Sandy Claws? Newscaster --Come back and save Xmas JACK Look Zero, search lights!   [firing at Jack] JACK They're celebrating!  They're thanking us for doing such a good job. [almost hits Zero] JACK Whoa, careful down there, you almost hit us.   ZERO bark JACK It's ok, Zero.  Head higher! [Oogie lair] OOGIE BOOGIE Are you a gamblin man, Sandy?  Let's play.   [sees sally's leg] OOGIE BOOGIE Mmmm.. my, my....what have we here? [Sally's hands start to rescue Sandy] SALLY [whispering]  I'll get you out of here. OOGIE BOOGIE Ah, lovely.  Tickle, tickle, tickle.  Tickle, tickle, tickle. [Sally's hands untie Sandy] [Oogie realizes that there's no body to the leg] OOGIE BOOGIE What?!?  You trying to make a dupe out of me? [Oogie sucks Sandy and Sally back in] [back to Jack] JACK Who's next on my list.  Ah, little Harry and Jordan.  Won't they be surprised. [sleigh gets hit] JACK They're trying to hit us!  ZERO! ZERO Bark [sleigh gets hit] [as Jack's falling] JACK Merry Xmas to all and to all a good night... [Halloween] WEREWOLF howl! MAYOR (with white face) I knew this Xmas thing was a bad idea.  I felt it in my gut.  Terrible news folks.  The worst tragedy of our times.  Jack has been blown to smithereens.  Terrible, terrible news. [back to "normal" town] Cop [in car] Attention, attention citizens.  Terrible news.  There's still no sign of Santa Claus.  Although the impostor has been shot down, it looks like Xmas will have to be canceled this year.  I repeat the impostor has been shot down but there's still no sign ...... [Jack in cemetery] Poor Jack Performed by Danny Elfman What have I done? What have I done? How could I be so blind? All is lost, where was I? Spoiled all, spoiled all Everything's gone all wrong What have I done? What have I done? Find a deep cave to hide in In a million years they'll find me Only dust and a plaque That reads, 'Here Lies Poor Old Jack" But I never intended all this madness, never And nobody really understood, well how could they? That all I ever wanted was to bring them something great Why does nothing ever turn out like it should? Well, what the heck, I went and did my best And, by god, I really tasted something swell And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did And for the first time since I don't remember when I felt just like my old bony self again And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King That's right! I am the Pumpkin King, ha, ha, ha, ha And I just can't wait until next Halloween 'Cause I've got some new ideas that will really make them scream And, by God, I'm really going to give it all my might Uh oh, I hope there's still time to set things right Sandy Claws, hmm [Oogie lair] SALLY You wait till Jack hears about this.  By the time he's through with you, you'll be lucky if you... MAYOR The king of Halloween has been blown to smithereens.  Skeleton Jack is now a pile of dust. SALLY [gasp] JACK Come on Zero.  Xmas isn't over yet! OOGIE BOOGIE What's that you were saying about luck, rag doll? SALLY Help, help, help, help OOGIE BOOGIE Sandy, looks like it's Oogie's turn to boogie. SALLY [scream] OOGIE BOOGIE one 2 3 4 5 6 7 -- hahaha SANDY CLAWS This can't be happening! OOGIE BOOGIE Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.  Oh, I'm feeling weak...with hunger. One more roll of the dice oughta do it.  Haha [rolls dice] What!  Snake eyes.  [bang on table] Eleven!  Haha  looks like I won the jackpot! Bye bye doll face and sandman. Ha, ha, ha [about to dump Sally & Sandy Claus into the lava] What the... JACK Hello Oogie OOGIE BOOGIE Jack, but they said you were dead.  You must be double dead. Well come on bone man. ZERO bark bark OOGIE BOOGIE oooo ooo ooo.  Pull an arm.  ha ha SALLY Jack look out! OOGIE BOOGIE So long, Jack.  haha JACK How dare you treat my friends so shamefully. [Jack pulls the thread that came loose that held Oogie together] OOGIE BOOGIE Now look what you've done.  My bugs, my bugs, my bugs, bye bye bye JACK Forgive me Mr. claws, I'm afraid I've made a terrible mess of your holiday. SANDY CLAWS Bumpy sleigh ride, Jack?  The next time you get the urge to take over someone else's holiday, I'd listen to her!  She's the only one who makes any sense around this insane asylum! Skeletons.... JACK I hope there's still time-- SANDY CLAWS To fix Xmas?  Of course there is, I'm Santa Claus! [and laying a finger aside of his nose, up Oogie's chimney he rose] SALLY He'll fix things Jack.  He knows what to do. JACK How did you get down here Sally? SALLY Oh, I was trying to, well, I wanted to, to -- JACK to help me SALLY I couldn't just let you just... JACK Sally, I can't believe I never realized...that you... MAYOR Jack, Jack! BARREL Here he is! LOCK Alive! SHOCK Just like we said. MAYOR Grab a hold my boy! JACK & SALLY whoa! NEWSCASTER Good news, folks.  Santa Claus, the one and only has finally been spotted.  Old Saint Nick appears to be traveling at supersonic speed.   He's setting things right, bringing joy and cheer wherever he goes.  Yes folks, Kris Kringle has pulled it out of the bag and delivered Xmas to excited children all over the world! Finale Performed by Danny Elfman, Catherine O'Hara, and the Citizens of Halloween CHORUS La, la, la, (etc.) Jack's OK, and he's back, OK CHILD CORPSE AND CHORUS He's all right MAYOR AND CHORUS Let's shout, make a fuss Scream it out, wheee CHORUS Jack is back now, everyone sing In our town of Halloween JACK It's great to be home! SANDY CLAWS Hohohohoho Happy Halloween! [Sandy Claws brings snow to Halloween] JACK Merry Xmas! CHILD CORPSE What's this? CYCLOPS What's this? HARLEQUIN DEMON I haven't got a clue MR. HYDE What's this? CLOWN Why it's completely new OFF-SCREEN VOICE What's this? WOLFMAN Must be a Christmas thing OFF-SCREEN VOICE What's this? MAYOR It's really very strange CHORUS This is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! What's this? What's this? (Repeat) DR. FINKELSTEIN Careful, my precious jewel! [Dr. F. with his new wife!] JACK My dearest friend, if you don't mind I'd like to join you by your side Where we can gaze into the stars JACK AND SALLY And sit together, now and forever For it is plain as anyone can see We're simply meant to be [at the end of FINALE, Zero zooms off into the heavens]