#I've been using 2 moving boxes stacked on each other for a month now so for that reason it's also a good upgrade

[linguenuvolose]

I now have a bedside table <33 a win <3

[scarlettriot]

Breaking Point - On Ice

Pairing: Hockey Player Eijiro Kirishima x F!Reader

Warnings: Minors DNI, Panic Attacks, Fatfobic Comments, Badgering, Swearing

Contains: Struggles with trauma in the form of panic attacks, fluffy moments thrown in though too! As the pairing suggests, Kiri is a hockey player, reader is also plus size.

Summary: When Kirishima finds out you've never tried ice skating he insists you come to the hockey team's fundraiser at the rink.

Word Count: 4,601

A/N: This is part three in the Breaking Point series. I did make a mistake in the posting of part 2, all main characters are at least sophomores in college, not juniors. Friendly reminder this is a quirkless AU. I hope you enjoy getting some more background here.

Other Parts:

Breaking Point - Part One - Locked Out

Breaking Point - Part Two - Intimacy

Breaking Point - Part ? - Do More (This is just out-of-order smut for the time being)

Eijiro lay on the floor of your bedroom, flat on his stomach, with a pen between his teeth. You were situated on your bed, back against the wall, while textbooks and notepads surrounded you when you heard a thump.

Eijiro's head now atop his own binder, the pages muffling his aggravation, "'M gonna fail!"

"You are not. Don't be so dramatic!"

Over the last month, you really had become friends with the red-headed giant who you'd let use your shower on a whim. Of course, it helped a little that he'd been childhood friends with your roommate and also happened to be the cousin of her boyfriend.

There was also the fact that you had four classes together. Eijiro excelled in your psychology classes, understood the material with ease! It was the core classes that were giving him trouble. English Lit and Calc specifically. Katsuki, his best friend with the shortest temper of anyone you'd ever met, had taken up tutoring him in calculus even if it was for mildly selfish reasons. If his grade slipped any lower, he stood a chance of being benched for the hockey season and Captain Katsuki wasn't standing a chance of their best goalie not being able to play.

That just left English Lit which, you took last semester, and remembered the material pretty well. Enough to help him study and get a decent grade at least. That didn't mean Eijiro liked it though, still struggled despite trying his damndest.

You cleared a path and leaned over the edge of the bed, "Gotta move your head, big guy. I don't have superpowers, can't see through it." Eijiro lifted his head, the page of his textbook clinging to his forehead. "It just wants you to write a synopsis of the last five chapters, 1K minimum. Why are you gonna fail?"

"'Cause for the life of me I can't stay focused on it!" He rolled onto his back. "Don't know how you can read so much and like it." His eyes scanned over the five shelves that made up one of the walls in your bedroom, each filled to the point you had to start stacking piles of books on the floor in front of them. "I think you need another shelf."

You pointed to the box in your closet, already way ahead of him. "It's taller than the others and heavy as hell. I'm just waiting for Suka to get time to help me."

"Hello! You coulda asked me!"

He had a point, you could have, it just hadn't crossed your mind.

"I've got this hockey thing tonight and then practice tomorrow but I could stop by after and help you put it together."

"Sure, thanks! I have- you know, never mind, just come by when it's done."

You were supposed to have a date, nothing series, just a meet-up off an app. Nothing you couldn't reschedule or just cancel if you had to. They wanted you to come to their birthday celebration at a bar anyways... it certainly didn't feel very date-like.

"Great!"

"But, you know you actually have to finish this paper..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Gotta reread the chapters first though and hopefully remember enough of it." He started gathering his things, "I'll try again after this thing tonight. Unless you feel like coming to this fundraiser thing tonight with me and we can keep studying there."

You thanked him but, "I can't skate anyways, I don't think adding studying to the mix would be safe."

Eijiro dropped his books, "You what?"

"Yeah, I can't skate."

"You've always just said you didn't wanna go on open skate nights with us! How've I been friends with you this long and not known you couldn't skate!"

You shrugged, "I dunno. Not like it really comes up..."

"Please come tonight." His elbows rested on the edge of your bed, big eyes pleading with you.

"Why? So you can watch as I fall on my ass?"

"I mean, you probably will but who hasn't! I fall so much! Plus, you can be entertained by Kami singing terrible karaoke!"

You did like watching Denki's performances... "What if I just show up at the rink and not skate? I'll be happy to come and show my support!"

His eyebrows dropped. "You've gotta try it. Please, Y/N. If you hate it, I'll drop it forever."

"Fine. Only if you promise you'll read two chapters when you get home AND text me about them so you can remember what you read. Do we have a deal?"

He gave a rather indignant sigh but finally accepted your terms.

You agreed to meet at the rink around 8, giving you enough time to make a pit stop at the library before going. Eijiro made a point to remind you to wear something warm but that you could still move easily in, and thick socks. That was a very important point he was driving home.

A part of you wished Itsuka was going, wanting the comfort of your best friend around but you knew she had to check in on her brother back home as well as her grandfather. The nursing home made things easier in some ways and yet harder in so many others.

So, you grabbed something to eat, threw on a hoodie and a thicker pair of black leggings, and dug out a pair of black cotton gloves just in case, stuffing them into your bag for now, and proceeded to lock up for the evening.

>>><<<

The library was on the way to the ice complex. A massive ten-story tall building with an art gallery taking up two of the floors. You loved this place. Becoming very acquainted with its walls during your freshman year. The only place quiet enough for you to study.

You nodded at the woman on duty at the circulation desk. Showing you the school idea even though she knew who you were and headed right for the elevators to take you up to the sixth floor, straight to the section that contained books of philosophical fiction.

At home, on your second bookshelf from the right to be exact, you had your own copy of The Picture of Dorian Grey but, Eijiro's class was reading the version that consisted of twenty chapters rather than your book's thirteen. You scanned the shelf and were in luck, plucking the book and heading right back to the elevator.

"Are you taking English Lit over again?"

It always amazed you the way the woman at the desk remembered faces. Hundreds of people had to come through this library on a daily basis and yet she could recall names and classes with seemingly no effort at all.

"No, not exactly, a friend of mine is though and he's struggling a bit. Just wanna freshen upon it."

"What a good person you are! Your friend better consider himself a lucky man." She scanned the book, reminded you of the three you still had checked out, and bid you a good weekend.

>>><<<

For a fundraising event, there weren't too many people present at the ice complex, even the overall team's members seemed to be lacking. Not that the school had that big of a hockey team to begin with. Itsuka told you how it started off as a club just last year with only six members, just enough to form a team. At least now their numbers had tripled.

You could hear music pouring out of the rink as well as chatter and laughter.

You pushed open the door happy to see some familiar faces. "Hey! Y/N!" Hanta waved from the concession stand balancing a basket of nachos and a pretzel in his hand, "Ha. Thanks." taking the basket and cup of cheese from him.

"Kiri said you'd be stopping by."

"It's sort of just a way of getting him to actually do his literary homework."

The man laughed, "Yeah. He's been trying to tackle that book. Kami threw a shoe at him the other day for walking around narrating it at one in the morning."

So, he did try reading to himself. It was good to know he was at least trying to take your advice.

Someone slammed into the rink's wall making you jolt, a nervous chirp escaping you in the process before you heard the low laugh of the team captain. "Show'd up, huh, Squeaks? Go talk to Headphones and get a pair of skates. Heard you've never been on the ice, time we fix that."

You'd only had a moment to wonder why it was Katsuki telling you to get skates rather than Eijiro because as soon as you looked at the explosive captain you spotted the redhead over his shoulder, skating backward, and holding the hands of a little girl bundled in a jacket as puffy and pink as her older sisters hair. The little girl couldn't have been related to anyone other than Mina Ashido.

"Come on, I'll show ya."

Hanta led the way around the concession counter and to a small window where Kyoka was sitting, busy fiddling with buttons on a soundboard. She smiled, seeing the two of you at the window and pulling back her headphones so she could hear when you told her your size.

The fee wasn't a lot and you were happy to pay it since half was going to the team.

"Can I help ya? That's way too loose." Hanta commented on your laces.

"This is how I normally tie my shoes."

"That might be but these have to be tight to give you the support you need. Plus, you don't want them coming undone on the ice, that's just a pain in the ass."

He bent down in front of you, tugging and pulling until the top of the boot was snug and asking you if it was too tight before tying it off and moving to the next one. He held out his hands, pulling you up onto your feet. "Walkings gonna feel a little weird, so, take your time."

You took a cautious step, balancing on the thin blade. "Feels like I'm walking on a tight rope."

"It's going to for a little while but you'll get used to it." He led you around the wall of the rink, letting you get a feel for them, checking again how they felt on your feet.

"Hey!" A whirl of pink hair zipped by you, Mina, spinning around perfectly on the ice and joining you both by the wall. "Whatcha waiting for? Get her out here Hanta!"

"Whenever you're ready."

If you hate it, I'll drop it forever.

You just had to try it once, one lap. "I'm gonna fall."

"That's a part of it though, babe." Mina grinned and glided back to the rink entrance. "Everyone here has fallen." She held out her hand while you carefully placed one foot on the ice. "I'm gonna hold this hand, grab the wall with your other. Hanta will be right behind you, okay?"

Everything wobbled the moment both feet were on the ice, knees locking just to try and stay upright. "Whoa, don't do that. Keep them bent just a little." Hanta corrected, "Locking your knees is a sure-fire way to fall."

Mina pulled you along, neither foot lifting off the ice, while your heart was firmly lodged in your throat. "You're doing just fine, see!" You really weren't doing anything but her praise was still nice.

"Mina!" You almost slipped, trying to follow the voice, but Hanta caught your elbow and guided both your hands to the wall. Jiro was standing at the entrance, waving a box over her head.

"Crap," Mina muttered. "I forgot to set something up with the sound system to get the karaoke going. Hanta, can you help me real fast, you're taller."

"Wha, what about me?"

"We will be right back. Promise! Not even taking our skates off!" They were gone before you could say anything else... damn it.

You stared at the far side of the rink, you'd gone exactly halfway around. One lap. You just had to go one lap. Your fingers gripped the edge of the wall, muttering to yourself, hating how unstable you felt when your feet started to move, oh no no no...

Willing them to stop moving wasn't working. Quickly, you pulled against the wall but you were getting away from it, "Come on, stop stop, please." You muttered but your feet weren't listening.

A hand slipped behind your waist. "You really shouldn't panic. All you have to do is point your toe down into the ice. 'Surprised someone didn't tell you that."

You had no idea who the man beside you was. Tall and slender with blonde hair falling in front of blue eyes. "You really have no idea what you're doing out here, do you? Poor thing."

"I'm, well, I'm just waiting for-"

"Not a problem, I'd be happy to help you back where you'll be more comfortable."

"Back off, Monoma." Someone's warm hand was tight on your shoulder, that gruff voice at your back. "She's fine."

"Take it easy, Bakugo, I wasn't doing anything. She just looked uneasy, that's all."

"Yeah, right. Why are you even here?"

"Supporting my dear brother, though I haven't seen him around."

"Kaminari's got class 'til 8." You turned, Eijiro skidding to a stop at your side, the little girl up in his arms.

"You'd think you'd know that about your, dear brother." Katsuki spat.

Katsuki pulled you back against him, slipping slightly but you were more than safe in his grasp. "Ah, that's right. Must have slipped my mind. Well, you seem in capable hands, enjoy your evening. I'll make sure to leave a donation to your little club before I go."

"Don't want any of your damn money."

"Hehe. Eiji said a bad word! Imma tell Mina!"

The two weren't distracted by the bundle of giggles in his arms. "Kats, can you take Hana back to Mina, please?"

Hana pouted, lip sticking out while she whined, "No, wanna stay with you, Eiji, please?"

Katsuki took the little girl. "You'll have your boyfriend back in a little bit, Squirt."

"So, Denki has a brother?"

"Step." Eijiro clarified, his arm casually slipping around you making sure you didn't lose your balance. "Like, we've never really found anything wrong with the guy. He's a year older than us, has money thanks to his mother, and likes to toss it around, he's just always rubbed us the wrong way. Little comments here or there about Denki but nothing to warrant us actually getting mad at him."

"Katsuki seemed pretty mad."

"That's just his default setting though." Eijiro sighed, shaking his head, before settling on a grin, "Anyway, "m happy you came. Sorry, I couldn't help you right away."

"That's alright. You were skating with a cutie. I can't blame you for that."

"I dunno why Hana latches onto me, but she has since she was a baby. We were fifteen when she was born and Mina loved babysitting so we all got used to her being around. But, I guess being Mina's neighbor meant I was around a little more than most."

"That's actually pretty cute."

He chuckled. "You're pretty good at this, by the way."

You hadn't even realized it. Eijiro had pulled you from the wall and you'd been skating at his side this whole time. Granted, he was doing most of the work but still! "Hey, don't tense up on me now!" He spun and took your hands in his, just like he'd been skating with Hana. "I've got ya. Just try moving your feet. Push against me."

With speed, something actually felt a bit familiar to you. You hadn't rollerbladed in years but you pushed off exactly like you used to. The toe pick Monoma had mentioned snagging a bit of the ice but Eijiro kept you stable with a smile, cheering you on and into your second lap around the ice.

He watched you, then your feet, his brows slowly coming together. "What? What am I doing wrong?"

"No, nothing like that but, you sorta skate like a hockey player. See, look at Mirio over there watch how he moves compared to his boyfriend who's a figure skater." He directed you to the blonde and his blue-haired boyfriend and there was something different about them. Mirio was moving about, turning quickly, chattering around Tamaki who pivoted when needed, favoriting long turns. "I think you should try a pair of hockey skates."

"Next time, Eijiro, okay?"

It was impossible to miss the way his face lit up. "Next time? You wanna do this again?"

"Yeah, yeah, this isn't so bad, actually. Just don't leave me stranded, 'kay?"

"Not a chance."

He continued to guide you around the rink so many times you'd lost count, bracing to catch you each time you stumbled. "I think you should try going backwards."

"Eijiro, no," A devilish grin spread across his face, "No, no, you can't. I can't!"

"Oh yes, you can!"

"No! Don't do it!"

You felt his hands shift, "Hang on tight."

He whipped you around. "Move your feet just a little," He pushed you along, "Yeah! Hell yeah! You got it!"

Despite wobbly knees, you woke muscles you hadn't used in ages from when you roller skated, gliding your feet the only way you knew how and praying it worked. And it did... for about twelve seconds.

A groove in the ice made you stumble backward, letting go of Eijiro as your arms flailed, doing your best windmill impression. You didn't hit the ice though. Eijiro was too quick to let that happen. He'd grabbed your waist and spun you around again. You still fell but onto his chest instead, his back smacking against the ice.

"Shit! Kiri! I'm so-"

His laughing cut you off, did he hit his head!? "You did great!"

"Gr-great? You think I did great!? Eijiro! What the hell is wrong with you!" You barely even felt the bite of the cold ice below your bare hands as you stared down at him waiting to see dark red blood trickling from behind his head, indicating some trauma.

"'Nothing! And you did! Better than me first time I tried anyways!"

"Don't break my damn goalie, Squeaks! I need 'em!"

"Or do!" You looked up to see Denki zipping by, a mic in his hands, "A broken Kiri means I might actually get some ice time!" The blonde wore a large smile, laughing in good fun before yelling at Kyoka to drop the screen for karaoke to begin.

"Are you alright?" Eijiro made sure to ask when you scooted off of him.

When you assure him you were, he hoisted you back up on your feet, slipping up only twice before regaining your balance just as Denki began singing Sweet Caroline.

You stayed out far later than you expected. Ended up walking back to the apartments with Eijiro, Hanta, Mina, and Denki. Hugging them each good night before slipping into the quiet of your apartment.

>>><<<

The next morning, you woke up late. The copy of Dorian Gray from the library lay open across your chest and the voice recorder was dangerously close to the edge of your bed. A quick playback told you you'd made it halfway through chapter eight before falling asleep. Decent progress.

Itsuka wasn't home, you noticed that on your way back from the bathroom. Her bed was still made and when you checked your phone, sure enough, there was the text telling you she was crashing at Tetsu's place. Honestly, you didn't even know why she bothered renting this place with you when she was never here.

That was a lie, you did know. It was out of kindness. Because she was a good person and knew you couldn't afford the rent on your savings alone. Hell, next year you were going to have to get a job along with classes just to stay in the apartment.

You also knew it was her way of looking after you. Itsuka would never outright say it but you knew she never looked at you the same after what happened your senior year of high school, and you couldn't really blame her. In fact, you were thankful in a way. Out of everyone you tried pushing away, Itsuka was the one who refused to let you slip through the cracks. Not only that, she pulled you back on your feet too. Literally filled out your college application when you felt like you didn't even deserve to go.

Itsuka Kendo was too damn good for this world and now she was dealing with her dying grandfather and trying to support her younger brother, needing to get him through just one more year of school. You wanted to go back with her on her visits, you felt like you owed her that after all she'd done for you but just the thought of driving through your old town terrified you and thankfully, she knew that.

Still, you were going to think of some way to help her. Something you could do. You added it to your list:

Currently, you just had to cancel your "date", finish chapter eight of Dorian Grey, and then download the audio files before Eijiro's practice ended in two hours.

Canceling the date was task one. Wanting to give as much notice as possible, already feeling a little guilty for forgetting to do it yesterday, you opened the app, reading a few of the messages they'd sent while you'd been away. You'd seen a few come in while you were at the rink but were honestly having too good of a time to want to respond.

Them: Gonna be a great party. Tons of drinks to go around.

You were still underaged but that meant little to a lot of college students. Besides that, you probably should have mentioned that you wouldn't be drinking even if you legally could.

Them: Your pictures look so hot! Bet those curves look even better in person ;)

Them: This is gonna be an awesome birthday. I know the present you're gonna give me is gonna be the best.

They could have just said they wanted to fuck you and it would have been quicker.

You: I'm really sorry but something's come up and I'm not going to be making it tonight. Hope you have a great party though.

Leaving your phone tossed on your bed forgotten, you moved on to task number two: the book.

It only took you ten or so minutes to finish the chapter. The files themselves took a while to upload to your computer, giving you enough time to throw together a bit of breakfast and take a shower in the meantime. Once they were all neat and orderly, you pulled a flash drive from the clutter on your desk, wiped it, and then started the download process. It was all rather robotic at this point.

Tugging on a hoodie and jeans, you intended on cleaning up your room a bit. Making sure you and Eijiro would have plenty of room for building. First was your rug, pushing it out of the way leaving only the wooden floor below, a nice even surface. You'd rolled it up, setting it in the corner of your room when you noticed your notifications flashing.

The dating app. They'd responded right after your message and you simply missed it... and the messages didn't stop coming through.

Them: Not gonna make it? Why?

Them: You mean like at all? Aw, come on baby? Don't leave me high and dry on my birthday.

Three minutes after,

Them: At least stop by my place later and gimme my present.

Them: That fat ass will do.

You sank to the floor of your room, back pressed against your bed, reading the messages that got progressively worse.

Them: Not gonna fuckin' answer now? Sick of damn teases like you.

Them: All you guys are good for is a quick fuck anyways.

Them: C'mon! I was even nice to you! Bet that doesn't happen often! Not with the way you look!

Them: Why can't you just gimme what I want?

It's all your good for... I was nice to you... gimme what I want...

Your chest felt tight as the phrases played over and over again. It crept up on you at the worst times, from the most damn things...

Just listen. Just do what they ask. Everything will be okay if you just listen.

Just listen, just do what they ask, everything will be okay. Just listen, just do what they ask, everything would be okay...

The way your brain twisted facts and bent reality, making it into nonsense that only seemed right within your mind. Your fingers pressed into your scalp, desperate to quiet the mess.

Everything will be okay, it'll be okay, it'll be okay, she'd be okay- in your hand, your phone began to vibrate.

Through blurry eyes, you made out the bright red hair of Kirishima's caller ID photo. You made sure to clear your throat before answering, steadying your voice.

"Hey, Kiri, what's up?"

"Hey, are you home?"

"Yeah. Been here all morning."

"Well, I've been knocking on your door for the last ten minutes. Can ya come lemme in?"

Ten minutes? Shit. You hadn't heard a thing. "Yeah! Sorry, I had my headphones on."

You could only pray your eyes weren't too red as you quickly wiped away any tears that may have spilled before answering the door. "Heya!" But his bright smile faltered. "You alright?"

"Totally!" Lying had become so easy now. You barely had to think about it, "This is gonna sound dumb but I stubbed my toe on my bed. Don't laugh! It really hurt!"

"Oh... Yeah, I've done that a couple times myself. It's okay though, right, no blood?"

"No, I'll be just fine."

>>><<<

Eijiro let you lead him into your home, carefully watching your back because he knew you were hiding something. He'd meant to take a shower before coming over but he heard your muttering coming through your open bedroom window. It wasn't like he was listening in but he'd heard your words nonetheless, heard you repeat them over and over. He knocked, banged on your front door with his fist actually, and got no response. Just the same words over and over.

He'd tried looking in your window, just wanting to know if you were okay but your curtains and the blind kept you hidden from view, kept your whole room private which, any other time, would have been great! He didn't want to scare you by calling through the window to you, didn't know if that'd be better or worse.

That's why he pulled out his phone and called you. Thrilled that apparently, that was enough to bring you out of whatever panic you were in.

He wished you'd talk to him, tell him whatever the fuck that was about, how long you'd been in a panic, but it was clear you weren't going to. He saw you flinch though when you looked at your phone, caught a glimpse at the screen, a dating app?

The same contact kept popping up but you just ignored it. "Do you wanna get that?"

"No. It's fine. Nothing important."

Sure seemed important. Or eager? He wasn't sure but it bothered you.

And, if you weren't going to talk to him about it, he was going to do the next best thing he could think of: distract you. "So, where's that bookshelf?"

[lokis-army-77]

If You Please

Chapter twelve

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2588

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: none

Note: Normally I am the type of person to be date accurate when writing things and if you are too, I'm sorry. I messed up on the dates, so the battle of New York happens like a month after it should. This is also a short chapter because it's a filler and I'm trying to just get to the Winter Soldier but have everything make sense.

<< Previous Next>>

Masterlist

A few days later I had received a small archivist job in the WWII department of the Smithsonian. Thankfully the made-up resume and a few fake SHIELD recommendations came in handy. I would officially start the following week after a few background checks were cleared. In my free time until then, I unpacked all the boxes in my apartment. It started to feel more homely and warm when all of my things filled up the space. When I didn’t feel like unpacking anything, I started taking long walks to the VFW building. I hadn’t joined in on any of the meetings yet, I just stood by the doorway and watched, listening to the stories people told.

One day that week as I stood back in the hallway after the meeting had ended, a man came up to me. He was a little taller than I was and had the brightest smile I had ever seen. I had watched him in the meetings before, he was usually the one hosting them, giving advice to all who needed it.

“I’ve seen you standing out here for the past three days, why don’t you come have a seat next time? It would be more comfortable than standing out here for an hour.” He said as he leaned his back against the wall right next to me.

“I have thought about it, but I tend to get here after you have started. I don’t want to interrupt anything by just barging in.” I said over my shoulder at him.

“You won't interrupt anything, just come on in next time, we’d be happy to have a new face around,” He pushed himself off the wall and walked down the hall.

After that, I ended up joining the meetings and even spoke a few times. I learned that the man who came up to me that day was Sam Wilson, pararescue, who had served two tours in Afghanistan. From the first day he came up and talked to me to now, we quickly became friends.

The days had turned into weeks and I was finally able to live relatively by my own means. The Smithsonian was great, in the archives, no one was really around and I could spend a whole day without any interruptions, which allowed me to just concentrate on what I was doing. After closing, I normally walked to meet Sam, who was usually way too excited to see me, even though we saw each other almost every day without fail.

“You’re late today.” I jumped, startled out of my thoughts at the sound of someone talking to me. I looked up, spying Sam standing next to one of the small trees outside the VFW building.

“What do you mean late?”

“I mean you usually get here at three-thirty. It's four right now.” He said looking down at his watch.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realize. I've just been lost in my thoughts lately.” I sighed.

“I know we’ve only been friends for what? A month? But I already know when something is bothering you, What is it?”

“Nothing really, just my brother. Since moving here he's called at least twice a week to check up but it’s been radio silence for the past two weeks, he doesn't even answer when I try calling him. I'm just a little worried that something bad is going on, considering his job.”

“Well, maybe he’s just really busy at the moment, or he's somewhere he can't call you. You know how it is being out on those military missions.”

“I know, it’s just the last time we were apart on a mission,” I trailed off and looked up at Sam, he raised his eyebrows, quietly waiting for the end of the sentence. “Someone close to us passed. It’s still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. I was there that day and I was too far away to even know what had happened, now my brother and I aren’t even in the same vicinity as each other, there is no telling what could happen and it makes me nervous.”

He gave me a small apologetic smile and patted my shoulder before leading me from the tree where we stood to where his car was parked. “What do you say we hang out at mine and just watch some tv? Get your mind off things? Or we can talk about it, either way, it’s better than dealing with it alone.” I nodded my head and grabbed onto the car door handle as he unlocked it.

Walking through the front door after him I took a quick look around. It was cozy, way more decorated than I thought it would be for a man in his early thirties living alone.

“Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink?” He asked neck-deep in the fridge.

“Okay, I’ll just have some water,” I called out as I made my way further into the living room. The couch was backed up to the wall a few feet away from the dining room table. I sat down on it and scooted as close as I could to its right arm. A few moments later Sam came over with two glasses of water and a bag of chips. He handed me my drink before crashing down into his own seat. “Thank you,” I said before taking a long sip.

He nodded as he said “No problem.” Before he got himself really comfortable he searched around for the TV remote. As he pressed the ‘on’ button the TV came to life. “What in the world is that?” He sounded concerned so I quickly looked at the screen.

“Breaking: Attack on New York City. This afternoon at 2:15 several unidentified aircraft descended onto Earth's surface. Strange beings, some are calling aliens, Accompanied these ships and are causing havoc in Manhattan. Eyewitnesses have stated that they have seen Iron Man, and what seemed to be Captain America, leading a team of three others fighting back against the invaders. The battle seems to be over but updates are still coming in, let's take a look at some footage of the downtown destruction.” My eyes went wide and my heart stopped as I listened to what the reporter was saying. I kept my eyes glued to the screen as it changed to show a destroyed street. As the camera panned around I spotted Steve fighting against two of the creatures, before the clip quickly changed to show one of the large ships crashing into the New York skyline.

“Oh God Steve, what did you get into?” I murmured to myself.

“You say that like you know him personally.”

“Uhh.” I just gave him a wide-eyed look of surprise. “I do, he’s my brother.”

“Now really isn’t the time to be joking about things,” He gave me a pointed look.

“I swear I’m not joking, he really is my brother. I can explain later, I need to try and get a hold of him.” I pulled out the small flip phone from my pocket and dialed the number for Steve's cell phone, it rang and rang but no answer. I hung up quickly and dialed the number Fury gave me at the beginning of the month. After two rings he answered.

“I assume you are looking for Captain Rogers.”

“Where is he? Is he okay?” I tried to keep the worried tone from coming through in my voice.

“He’s fine. He is in the middle of a debriefing. I’ll tell him you called.”

“Okay, thank you.” As soon as the words left my mouth he gave a quick hum and then hung up. I looked over at Sam whose eyes hadn't left me at all. “Everything is fine, he's in a debrief so that means that whatever happened in New York is definitely over.”

“That’s good to hear, hopefully, those things don’t try to come back again.” He shook like a shiver ran down his spine. “Now please explain how Captain America, a man from the 1940s, is your brother.”

“I can hear the skepticism in your voice.”

He held his hands up in defense, “Hey, I'm not the one saying I'm the sister to a 90 something-year-old man.”

“Look, it’s a long story that I would rather not get into now but the short version is that I was born in 1921, Steve is my older brother, we both ended up taking the super-soldier serum and fought against HYDRA in the second world war. We ended up crashing a plane into some Ice in the Atlantic ocean and were found and unfrozen last October.” “If you are really Captain America’s sister, then why are you never mentioned in anything?” I looked at him and shook my head.

“Well for starters it was the forties and I was a woman fighting on the front lines. Credit is never given where it is due. But there is also the fact that I was a part of the SSR, which was very secretive, after I died.” I put my fingers up in air quotes, “They should have erased most, if not all the files on me, per protocol. The only reason Steve is well known is because of his time going cross country selling war bonds.” I paused for a second before quickly adding, “I’m sure if you look hard enough, you’ll find me in the history books somewhere.”

Sam just sat there not really saying anything. This was the first time I think he had ever been quiet for more than five seconds. I let out a deep sigh and stood, grabbing my bag from the floor. “Thanks for having me over, but I think I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood and walked me to the door.

“Don’t be late. I’ll see you.” Sam waved me off and I headed down the street.

About half a year later while sorting through some archive files, I came across Peggy Carter. I felt a pang in my heart as I stared at the photo of her standing next to Howard Stark. Other than Steve and Bucky, those two were my closest friends. I fell down a rabbit hole after that, finding any information on the two that I could find. They had both helped found SHIELD in 1965, they had both gotten married and had children of their own. Peggy's children had stayed out of the public eye, but in true Stark fashion, Howard’s son evidently took over the family business and was living the high life. I pulled out a newspaper from the stack I had on the table in front of me and was shocked at what I saw. The title read ‘Howard and Maria Stark Die in Car Accident’, I knew Howard most likely wasn’t alive anymore but seeing the photographs of the wrecked car in the newspaper cast a somber mood through the room.

I laid the paper down on the table and ruffled through more of the papers before determining that we had no information on if Peggy was alive or not. That sent me into a frenzy of looking through phone books to try and find her and calling every retirement home in DC that I could. The only lead I had to go off of was a small interview from a newspaper, talking to Peggy about the seventieth anniversary of V-E Day, stated that she was living in Washington, DC.

After eight failed calls, finally, on the ninth, I had finally found a home which had a Peggy Carter as a residence in room 204. I rushed to pack up my things and left my office early. I ran down the back hallways as fast as I could without drawing too much attention. When I made it out of the building I ran full speed to the road to hail a cab.

Amazingly the traffic was almost nonexistent and I made it to the retirement home in only ten minutes. I fumbled out of the cab and I raced through the front doors of the building. I must have startled the women at the front desk because as soon as I rounded the corner to the staircase, they were yelling after me. I took the steps three at a time in my haste to get to the second floor. I stopped running when I was outside of room 204. I couldn’t see anything clearly through the frosted window so I knocked hesitantly and slowly opened the door and stepped in.

There in the middle of the room, against the wall was a single bed. A woman laid there quietly with her eyes closed. The closer I came to her the more familiar she looked. I let out a relieved gush of breath. There she was, older now, but still the Peggy I once knew. I nervously grabbed one of the chairs in the corner of the room and brought it over to her bedside so I could sit. Gently I gave her a small tap on the hand before just holding it in mine. She stirred but her eyes never opened.

All of a sudden one of the nurses from downstairs came into the room, with an angry and shocked expression.

“Ma’am, You can't be in here. If you want to see a patient, you have to sign in.” I ignored her, my eyes trained on Peggy's face. The commotion of the woman barging into the room had made her open her eyes and look around. I just watched as she scanned the room, first to the door on the left, to the wall in front of her, past me sitting on her right, then to the window behind me.” Her brows raised and she lifted her hands to her eyes to rub. The shock on her face was evident as she turned her head to stare directly at me.

“Hey Carter, long time no see huh?” I gave her the biggest smile that I could.

“Is it really you?” She reached her hand out to mine and grabbed hold.

“It is, it’s really me.”

“Ma’am, I mean it, you can't be here.” The nurse tried again, this time Peggy shot her a glare.

“Ms. I’ll have you know this is one of my best friends and she can be in here if she wants to. Now leave us alone.” The young nurse nodded her head and rushed out, even in old age she could still put on that commanding tone that struck fear in every man. She slowly turned back to me, almost like if she looked back for me, I would be gone. “How? How are you here?”

“It’s a long story Peg, are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Look where I am, I have nothing but time.” She laughed out and I let out my own small laugh as I shook my head.

In addition to what I had been doing, like hanging out with Sam, after that first visit, I made it a priority to see Peggy once or twice every two weeks, depending on how she was doing. Dementia had put a lot of stress on her, and seeing me after almost seventy-five years and looking relatively the same as I had when frozen took out a giant toll on her.

And that's how the next 10 months went until Steve eventually moved into an apartment directly under me.

Tag List: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @underc0vercryptid-reads @geek-and-proud @intothesoul @leyannrae @starkleila

[rockinmyownboat]

When The Core Misses the Mark ...

I'm done with this hellhole I'm working in.

I'm sick of the hostile work environment being cultivated by a co worker towards me. He has had a stick up his ass towards me since my second week in the warehouse. After week 3, I started snapping back.

I don't tolerate it when someone is consistently rude and acts like a prick towards me. I tolerate them less when I see them do it to others.

Well Corey found this out the hard way on two separate occasions.

First off the guys been there four months. So he's hardly a vet. He routinely backtalks our lead and refuses to comply with instructions. He has on several occasions tried to assert himself as a "lead" and overstepped boundaries. He consistently shows up late or not at all.

The company tolerates him because he's our fastest picker.

We've had two unfriendly incidents that have created a hostile work environment.

The first incident happened because I was trying to clarify details on an order. Core Mark has ZERO consistency so every day the jobs always changing. It's never the same. That's already been frustrating as fuck. And then he got pissy and snarky with me when I asked a question .

We ended up screaming at each other. I don't come to work to put up with that shit. The rest of the day was nothing but ice cold tension. he actually body checked me a couple times as we bustled around the warehouse. I take unkind actions even less than i take unkind words.

I also don't give a shit about his ego enough to indulge his culture. I'm not gonna fight him cause HE wants to be an entitled asshole.

The first time, I immediately went to my boss to see what could be done considering the jobs already hard enough as it is.

I'm not gonna be berated and talked down to like an idiot by a snarky co worker that has the EXACT SAME BADGE that I do to buzz in the building. This asshole is not my superior so he doesn't get to act like it.

I was assured by my boss that the three of us would sit down in a meeting to get it all resolved before I needed to go to HR and report a hostile work environment.

That meeting never happened. What did?

Well, nothing.

Corey got a slap on the wrist and I became the most hated man in the freezer for being a narc. Because word travels fast when you report a coworker to your boss for a hostile work environment in a warehouse.

Enter incident number 2: I was stacking up these massive boxes. They're about 3.5 x5 ' and weigh about 35 lbs each. I was making sure that everything was stickered properly and stable on the pallet before moving on. Like I'm supposed to do to avoid hundreds of dollars of product damage.

All I needed was to be left alone to do my goddamn job.

Enter Corey who rides up on his pallet jack like a fucking Texas Hick honking loudly and impetuously. He's screaming at me, "MOVE! GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY!!!"

Like really, bro? You think that's the way to get my attention huh?

I stayed right where I was. I held up one finger in the air, indicating I HEARD him.

I told him he could wait.

His reaction? He laid into his horn blasting it in my ear as he cussed me out. So i just told him he'd get a better reaction from me if he wasn't such a fucking asshole all the time.

Understandably, as accurate as my observation was, it didn't help. It just pissed him off more.

This impetuous little shit was so butthurt that he left. Just dipped out. And the rest of us were stuck there til 4 in the goddamn morning.

Even after this second incident, no effort was taken by management to rectify the situation. However word travels fast. And because I refused to let a bully disrespect me, I'm now a social pariah.

Good times, huh?

Yeah the best....

I'm tired of leaving work at almost 4 and going to sleep as the sun rises. I've almost fallen asleep at the wheel several times and brought it to management's attention that I need to be out of there no later than 2 AM as a SAFETY and LEGAL issue.

I drive 20 miles on Oregon backroads with minimal lighting after being exhausted by a back breaking job. I'm more dangerous and impaired when I'm tired than i ever was when I was a drunk.

I've seen what exhaustion does to a car when you fall asleep at the wheel. I fucked up two rental cars that way a few years ago. True Story.

I'm a higher risk to other drivers and MYSELF and it's a risk I will not take.

If I kill someone or get killed in a car accident because I'm too tired to stay awake, it's a goddamn liability on Core Mark. Especially when they baited and switched by hiring me before telling me that I'd be putting in upwards of 14 hours per day on a goddamn SWING shift.

I didn't sign on to work over night. There's the bait and switch

I had entered a verbal agreement which was verified by both my supervisor, my boss, AND my lead. Because of the distance I have to travel I NEED to leave by 2 am. Plain and simple.

All three said the same thing. "Sounds fair. "

Well apparently it was not so fair because the other night my sup made me stay again until 3 fucking 30 in the morning by assigning me to a 140 piece pick at 1:45 am.

I almost told her to fuck herself. But I didn't. Cause I'm a good guy. And good guys don't say shit like that to their professional superiors.

Instead I did the assignment and got out of there. Cause that's what a good worker does.

For the first time, I had no problem staying awake. It's easy to stay awake when I'm literally seething with bitterness and resentment.

Funny. They say "we're like a family. "

It seems pretty goddamn accurate to a real family. It's disjointed. Toxic. Demoralizing. I have a lot of experienced being devalued. See, I was treated this way by most of my own family. Verbally abused...Broken promises and expectations ... the inability to be consistent ....

As a direct result, I haven't talked to most of my extended family for almost two years because I refuse to associate myself with those who are all gab with no substance to back it.

Now I'm stuck in a frozen hellhole managed by these same kind of asshats that think calling this a "family" will cultivate some kind of loyalty from me.

The moment my sup told me "I can't let you go early cause I'll have a mutiny on my hands." Was literally the exact moment my last fuck was given for this job. I have no desire to work for someone that can't keep my respect by keeping their word.

Want my loyalty? Show your loyalty to me first.

I'm done.

I hate being angry and that's all this job makes me. I get no fulfillment or passion from it. Good money? Hah!

The suffering is not worth the payout or the impact to the balance of my life.

#coremark

#winterwonderland

#bluebunnyrivers