#I've been using 2 moving boxes stacked on each other for a month now so for that reason it's also a good upgrade

[linguenuvolose]

I now have a bedside table <33 a win <3

[something-tofightfor]

Snow and Mistletoe - Part 1

A PedroStories Secret Santa gift fic

This is my submission for @pedrostories annual holiday event, and it's for @burntheedges. I was so excited to get you as a giftee, Kate, because your requests align with the way I tend to write my stories... and this one took on a life of its own. As you can see, this is only part 1. I tried to incorporate some (a lot) of the things that you said you enjoyed into this, and I think (hope) you'll be happy with how they're scattered throughout.

This is a no-outbreak AU, and while it doesn't quite follow canon, you're going to see a fair bit sprinkled in- because I can't help it and I've wanted to write more in depth for Joel and Sarah for a LONG time, so I really enjoyed this a lot.

Thank you so much for all that you've contributed to the Pedro fandom, and for sharing your writing with us. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.

I plan on posting the other 2 parts + the epilogue throughout the day today and tomorrow, but part 1 can be read as a standalone if you'd like.

---

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

No Outbreak AU.

Word Count: 5,166

Rating: M - as a whole for language and innuendo, but this chapter is very tame.

Summary: You own a music shop in Austin, and both your niece and Sarah are employees. As a former classmate - and the father of your employee - Joel Miller has been a part of your life for many years.

But circumstances have never been exactly right for the two of you to get to know each other better ... until now, when outside intervention pushes you together just in time for the holidays.

“Ellie, go unlock the front door.” You looked up from what you were doing, pointing with one finger. “She’s going to be here any minute.” 

‘I’m kind of busy at the moment.” At her tone, you turned your head sharply, watching as she came around the corner with a stack of boxes in her arms. “You do it. Please?” When she peeked around the cardboard, she actually looked apologetic, so you agreed, hurrying toward the front entrance of your store. 

You were just in time, watching as a dark colored pick up pulled to the curb and the teenager hopped out, leaning her head back inside for a few seconds before waving and heading to where you stood. 

Pushing the glass door open, you grinned, holding it with one hand. “Morning, Sarah. How’s it going?” 

“Good.” Looking back over her shoulder, she nodded. “Really good.” 

You saw him in the truck, the man ducking his head and turning to look in your direction, giving you a view of his entire face. The windows were closed, so instead of saying anything, you lifted your hand and gave him a wave like you did every time he dropped her off - Joel nodding in return before he sat back up again and pulled back into traffic, beeping the horn once. 

You stared after him for a few seconds and then took a breath, your attention moving to the girl, still standing beside you. But she had a curious look in her face, her lips set into a tiny frown. “What?” Letting the door shut, you backed up and into the shop. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“I’m … not?” She blinked, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “Is Ellie here?”

“She is.” You pointed, the stack of boxes that the other teenager had carried in already sitting on the countertop, though she was nowhere in sight. “She’s probably back in one of the lesson rooms, if you want to go back there.” Sarah’s grin nearly split her face in half, her curls bouncing when she turned to head in the direction you’d suggested. “You guys have half an hour, alright? Store opens early this month because of Christmas, and -”

“We know!” Ellie’s head popped out of one of the rooms down the hall, her smile wide, too. “That’s why I’m already set up. C’mon Sarah. Hope you’re ready.” 

You watched as she headed for the hallway, both girls talking excitedly for a few seconds before they disappeared. “Alright.” Nodding to yourself, you looked around the showroom, letting out a breath. “Let’s get ready to open.” 

— 

Six and a half hours later, you were standing outside of the front doors, drinking a coffee that you’d had delivered. 

You rarely took an actual lunch while you worked. But, Ellie and Sarah were more than capable of handling the few customers you’d had that afternoon, and the closing crew would be in to take over within the hour. And I deserve this. 

Sipping the drink, you closed your eyes and were surprised a few seconds later by a deep voice on your right. “Did’ya order one of those for me, too?” 

“No, but you can have a sip of this one as long as you don’t just want plain coffee.” Holding the cup out, you smiled as Joel took the final few steps, reaching out with one hand to take the coffee from you. “You got done early today, hmm?”

“I did.” Raising your coffee to his lips, he look a long drink, humming at the taste. “Shit that’s good.” He held it back out to you but you shook your head, motioning for him to keep it. “I can’t, I -”

“You need it more than me.” He opened his mouth to argue but then decided against it, swallowing another mouthful. “Sarah’s off in a few minutes, do you want to go inside and wait for her?”

“I’m actually here for a couple new sets of strings.” He swiped at the back of his head with one hand, jutting his chin out toward the door. “Figured it’s a good time to change ‘em, and Sarah told me you guys are having a sale.”

“We are.” You pulled the door open, gesturing for him to walk in ahead of you. “I’d offer to point you in the right direction, but you’ve been coming in here longer than I’ve owned it, so…”

“If I need anything, I’ll be sure to come an’ find you.” He smiled, raising the cup again. “Thank you for this.” You turned away from him first, going over to the counter and slipping back behind it. Ellie was leaning there, her elbows resting on the glass. 

“Joel’s here early.” She looked up at you, raising a brow. “What were you two talking about?”

“Guitar strings.” She opened her mouth but before she could say anything, you held up a hand. “Not another word, Elanor.” She snorted, standing straight up and tapping her fingers against the countertop. 

“Alright. I’ll go into the back where you won’t hear anything else I have to say.” She looked between you and the showroom floor, her eyes bright. “But Sarah’s another story.” She beelined it around the counter and then toward the hallway, calling out a hello to Joel as she sped past. He grinned at her, saying hi back. There wasn’t time for anything else before she’d disappeared, leaving the two of you - and an older man who was looking at keyboards - alone. 

You could have stared at him for hours, but instead of letting your inner thoughts win, you busied yourself with menial tasks behind the counter, not looking up until someone cleared their throat to get your attention. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t Joel waiting to check out. Instead the other customer was in front of you, three songbooks in his hands. “Which one of these should I buy for my grandson?” He set them down, fanning them out. “His parents got him a keyboard for his birthday last month, but he can’t play anything yet.” 

“I wouldn’t choose any of these.” You answered honestly, looking between the three options. “These are all for intermediate players, and if he just got the keyboard, it sounds like -”

“But the ones that are easier are all nursery rhymes.” He scowled at you, eyes narrowing behind his glasses. “Kevin is fifteen. He’s too old for nursery rhymes.”

“If I could cut in…” You looked up to find Joel standing just behind the man, a few sets of guitar strings held between the fingers of one hand. “He might be too old to enjoy a nursery rhyme, but that doesn’t mean he should skip over learnin’ to play them.” Joel took a breath, giving you a look that clearly asked “is this alright”, and when you nodded he continued, pointing at the books. “You gotta start somewhere. Givin’ a kid something that they can’t play yet might make ‘em less likely to stick with it long term.” 

“You could buy two books,” you cut in, immensely thankful for Joel’s interjection. “One of the easier ones and then something a little more difficult that he can work up to?” You gestured to the back of the shop. “When I was teaching my niece how to play guitar, we stared with really simple things and she tried new ones when she felt comfortable.”

“Same here.” Joel stepped a little closer, nodding his head. “First day I picked up my guitar I thought I was going to be able to pull off Jimmy Page or Eddie Van Halen solos right away…” He laughed, rubbing at his beard with his free hand. “Turns out that was not the case.” You bit back a laugh at his words, watching the way his eyes crinkled at the corners in amusement. “It was months of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Smoke on The Water before my fingers got used to playing.” He nodded at the man, his smile smaller but still there. “Get him one of the beginner books, and then explain you want him to feel confident before he tries somethin’ harder.” 

The older man was scowling, his eyes moving between the three books on the counter until he finally looked up at you. “I’ll think about it. Thanks.” He left them there when he turned and headed for the door, pushing past Joel on his way. You watched his back until he was gone, and then finally looked at Joel again, shrugging. 

“That could have gone better.” He set the strings down  - along with two packages of picks - and then spoke after letting out a deep sigh.

“Way he reacted it’s like we were accusin’ his grandson of bein’ an idiot.” Reaching for his stuff, you began scanning it, dropping things into a small plastic bag. “It’s common sense, though. Why overwhelm someone when they’re trying to learn?”

“I wish I knew.” Finishing and giving him the total, you watched as Joel swiped his card before tucking it back into his wallet and shoving the entire thing in his back pocket. Change the subject. “Which guitar are you restringing?” 

“Both of ‘em.” He leaned forward, resting his forearm on the glass, but leaving the bag where it was. “Cleanin’ and oilin’ the fretboards, too.” He looked down at his watch and then back at you. “Might even do it tonight.” 

“What an exciting Saturday night, dad.” Sarah reappeared, followed closely by Ellie, your niece carrying another stack of boxes and a clipboard. “Maybe if you actually answered some of the messages on that dating app you have, you could go out and do things on the weekends.” 

You felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of Joel going out on a date, but tried to push it down. You hadn’t ever made it known that you were interested - especially since you’d known him and Sarah for so long. But it’s harder not to say anything now that Sarah’s working here and I see him more. 

“I do plenty of things on the weekends.” Joel straightened up, putting a hand on his hip. “I hang out with you. I see your uncle Tommy. I work on the house, and -”

“Thrilling.” Sarah rolled her eyes, nudging him with her elbow and looking at you. “I clocked out, by the way, so I’m not just like … standing here on your time.” 

“You’re fine, Sarah.” Ellie set everything down and came to stand next to you, setting the clipboard down on he counter. “I’ll -”

“Speaking of thrilling…” Ellie cut in, crossing her arms and taking a seat on the barstool behind the register. “She told me the other day she’s not going to the Christmas thing at the community center next weekend because “Fridays and Saturdays are the busiest days in the store so I scheduled myself to work.” She made air quotes and changed her voice as she spoke, sending Sarah into a fit of giggles and even causing Joel to briefly smile as his gaze made its way back to you.  

“Well I mean, it’s the truth. Next Friday is -” 

“He said the same thing.” Sarah sighed loudly, looking pointedly at you and then at Ellie. “That he’s too busy to go, and needs to work. On what, I have no idea because he’s only got the one project right now.” Glancing at Joel, you felt alarm bells ringing in your head. Something’s happening here. Something is … this isn’t… “Bet if he had a date he’d change his mind.” 

“That’s got nothing to do with it, Sarah. I -” He looked down at her and then back at you, realization in his eyes. 

“Why don’t you two go together?”  Ellie picked up a pen and started doodling on the margin of the clipboard paper, not making eye contact. “To the party, I mean. Neither of you have plans to go, and you’ve both got really lame excuses.” She paused, finally looking up. “And you haven’t been out on a date in -”

“Ellie!” You hissed out the word, feeling the way heat rose to your cheeks. She’s not wrong, but … “I have to work next weekend. It’s not -”

“Do you?” It was Joel’s voice that caught your attention, the man clearing his throat. “Because I could probably take a couple hour break.” You caught it even though it was brief - a fleeting look of shock on Sarah’s face, her eyes immediately going to Ellie. Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that either. “If you wanted to.” 

You wanted to - more than you were willing to admit. But it would be weird, even if we just did it as friends. “It’s the weekend before Christmas, and -”

“We can work.” Sarah cut in, nodding. “I’m already supposed to be here for part of the afternoon, I’ll just stay later.” She shrugged. “Besides, the store closes before the party is over, so I can just take the bus from -”

“I’ll drive you.” Ellie waved her hand. “I close next Friday.” The girls went quiet, looking between you and Joel, who was also watching you with interest, laughter in his eyes. This is … 

“I don’t know.” He frowned, keeping an eye on you as you spoke. “I feel like I should -” 

“Come outside and talk to me for a minute.” Joel picked up the bag, closing his fingers around the handles. “Away from these two.” That you had no problem agreeing to, Ellie waving you off and Sarah doing the same to her father. 

He held the door open for you, and when he joined you on the sidewalk a few seconds later, pointing in the direction of the small parking lot next to the building, you fell into step next to him. “We just got Parent Trap-ed, didn’t we.” He snorted, agreeing. “You didn’t have to ask me just to -”

“Who says that’s what I’m doing?” You reached his truck, Joel unlocking it and setting the bag down on top of the center console. “Maybe I just want to get to know you.” He straightened back up and closed the door, leaning against it when he turned to look at you. “Sarah’s been workin’ with you for six months, and she an’ Ellie have been going to school together for a couple years.” So that’s the only reason? Because of them? Your face fell; you couldn’t help it, and even though you were able to even out your expression quickly, you were sure that he’d noticed. 

“Yeah, I mean … they’re friends. So it would make sense for us to be, too.” Pressing your lips together, you nodded. “If you’re serious, I’ll go with you.” Crossing your arms, you nodded again, chewing on the inside of your lip. “It’s just a couple of hours, right? “ 

“Right.” Joel swallowed, running his fingers through his hair. “I can pick you up? Makes sense to take one car.” He’s so practical. Everything’s … matter of fact. In all of the daydreams you’d ever had about Joel, you’d never had anything close to the one that was coming true, and if you were honest with yourself, it was disappointing. He said your name, interrupting your pity party, and when you looked back up, he’d relaxed a little more, reaching into his pocket and pulling his phone out. “Can I have your number?

You recited it to him, Joel carefully typing it into the device and then turning the screen around to confirm that he’d entered it correctly. When you told him that you had, you nodded twice and took a deep breath, holding it. “Alright, Joel… so I’ll see you next week?” 

“No.” He smiled, the expression genuine. “I’ll see you next time I pick up or drop Sarah off and you’re here, too.” That made you laugh. When you said goodbye, you were slightly less unsettled than you had been, heading back for the store’s door so that you could tell Sarah it was ok for her to leave. 

She and Ellie were still standing by the counter when you went back inside, both of them turning to look at you in the same moment. “You’re good to go, Sarah. Your dad’s in the parking lot.” She nodded, zipping her jacket up. “But before you go… I don’t know what the two of you are trying to do here, but putting Joel and I on the spot wasn’t -”

“You’re going out with him, aren’t you?” Ellie scrunched her face up as she looked at you, eyes narrowing. “And you like him, so -”

“It made things awkward, El.” You looked at Sarah, sighing. “For him, too. So just … think about that, alright?” 

Neither of them said anything else to you, Sarah telling Ellie goodbye and then walking out the front door, leaving you and your niece alone. “Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad.” You exhaled, rubbing at your eyes. “It’s just … weird.” And even weirder because of how awkward it feels.  The door opened and two customers walked in, effectively ending the conversation there, though you knew that you’d be continuing it when you got home. 

— 

You and Ellie made dinner together that night, but neither of you spoke while you did it, moving through the kitchen silently. It wasn’t until you were sitting at the table together, bowls of pasta in front of you that you broke the silence. 

“Why did you and Sarah decide to do that today?” She took a bite, chewing through it to give herself a chance to think of an answer. 

“Ever since I’ve been giving her lessons, we’ve been talking a lot more.” She bit down on a breadstick, waving the remainder in the air. “We’re friends already, but I’ve never really asked her about Joel until now, and …” She shrugged. “She said he hasn’t dated much lately. All he does is work and hang out with his brother and spend time with her.” Ellie paused, making sure to make eye contact with you. “Kind of like you only work at the store and hang out with me.” 

“That’s not true.” You gestured at her with your fork. “I have friends, Ellie. We just see each other less than we used to because they’ve all got really young kids and do that ‘mommy and me’ stuff with them.” Arching a brow, you cocked your head to the side. “And you’re a little old for tumbling classes or playtime at the park.” 

“But I could use swimming lessons.” You both laughed at that, though Ellie cut hers off only a few moments later. “No but seriously. When you took me in so that I could finish school here instead of going with Marlene, I didn’t think … I didn’t want you to just give up doing everything but …”

“Ellie, that’s not what happened.” You got up, moving to the other side of the table and sitting down next to her. “Your mom and Marlene and I were all really close, and after … after Anna was gone, I was more than happy to help Marlene out with you.” You squeezed her arm, leaning in. “I was the one that suggested you staying here, El. Your mom grew up here, and I wanted you to do the same. I didn’t want you having to uproot yourself every eight months for Marlene’s job. I love having you here. I didn’t give up anything.” 

She looked up then, meeting your eyes, and you saw uncertainty in them, though it was accompanied by relief. “I know. I just … it feels like everyone always leaves, and I’m afraid that you’re going to realize that you don’t want to do this with me anymore, and -”

“Ellie, you’ll be 18 next year and off to college. If anyone’s going to leave it’s you.” Taking a deep breath, you held your arms out to her. “I’m not going to leave you, kiddo. I promise.” She hugged you hard, but it didn’t last long, Ellie pulling away to look directly at you again. 

“This still doesn’t change the fact that you and Joel should … see what happens.” She blinked a few times, her expression changing into the same ‘take no shit’ look that you’d seen on it countless times before. “We’ve noticed how you look at him. And he -”

“He and I are going to the party together next Friday, Ellie.” Settling back into your chair, you drummed your fingers on the table. “He told me tonight that since you and Sarah are such good friends, it makes sense that we get to know each other, too.” She frowned at your words, but didn’t say anything. “It’s just a couple hours. It’ll be … fine.” 

“He said that? That’s not what we …” She shook her head, setting her fork down. “I’m done. Can I be excused? Do you need help cleaning up?” You told her to go, eyeing Ellie as she headed into the kitchen, plate in hand. You were used to her changes in mood, but that night was different, Ellie almost disappointed in your reaction to agreeing to go out with Joel, even though she’d orchestrated it. Returning to your side of the table, you finished your dinner, the sound of Ellie’s voice from the other room audible, though you couldn’t hear what she was saying. 

She went upstairs a few minutes later, and you followed, deciding to get ready for bed, even though it was early. I’ll put on pajamas and watch a movie or something. Maybe have a glass of - You were interrupted by the vibration of your phone, an unfamiliar number on the screen. 

“Hello?” Standing in front of your bedroom window, you held it to your ear. “This is -”

“It’s Joel.” Your eyes widened when he spoke, the man’s voice even deeper through the phone than it was in person. “I hate texting, so I thought I’d call.” You weren’t surprised, a quiet laugh escaping you before you were able to stop it. Fitting. “I was just informed by my daughter that I didn’t exactly explain myself well earlier.”

“What?” You didn’t understand - and then you groaned, covering your face with your hand. “Ellie. Ellie called Sarah and told her what we … Joel, I’m so sorry. Ellie and I talked while we ate, and I don’t want you to think that I was just complaining or -”

“You misunderstood what I was sayin’ before. Outside? When we were talking?” He cleared his throat and then continued. “You and I should be friends because of Ellie an’ Sarah. But that’s not why I agreed to go next week.” He paused, giving the shock you felt a chance to settle in your stomach. Why then? “I meant it when I said I wanted to get to know you.” 

That conversation was more in line with what you’d imagined Joel asking you out to be like, and despite your apprehension, you felt yourself relax slightly at his words. “I’d like to get to know you too, Joel.” Pressing your lips together, you nodded. “Sarah’s said some really good things about you.” 

“Ellie’s done the same about you when she’s been over.” He laughed - and you did, too, the tension entirely broken. “We’re going to watch a move, though, and she’s yellin’ up the steps at me, so I’ve gotta go.” He said your name then, the sound quiet - though his tone was certain. “When do you work next?” 

“Monday. I close. Why?” 

“No reason.” He hummed, and you heard another voice on Joel’s end of the line, the sound of Sarah shouting for him filling up the background. “I’ll talk to you later. Have a good night?” 

You assured him you would, and when you’d both hung up, you spent a few seconds staring at the darkened screen, unsure of what to think. 

— 

Monday night, you were getting ready to close the store and count down the drawer when the door opened, the sound of footsteps drawing your attention. “Hi, and welcome to Firefl- Joel? What are you doing here? Something wrong with those strings?” 

“Strings’re fine.” He stepped up to the counter and you couldn’t help looking him over - the man’s upper body encased in a long-sleeved shirt, both sleeves pushed up to expose his forearms. “I came to see you.” 

You were shocked. The day hadn’t exactly gone smoothly, and you were almost desperate to get out of the store and home. But not at the expense of whatever this is. “Me? Why? Is Sarah -”

“Sarah’s fine, too. She’s at soccer practice.” He glanced down at his watch, nodding. “I gotta go and pick her up in about twenty minutes.” That meant that whatever he was doing in your store wouldn’t take long, which confused you even more. “I have somethin’ for you.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small envelope, sliding it across the counter. “Here.” 

You picked it up and thumbed it open, unsure of what to expect. And when you saw the contents, you actually laughed, looking up from what you held and at Joel’s face, the man’s lips set into a lopsided smile. “You took like … half a coffee from me one time, Joel. You didn’t need to …” Flipping the gift card back and forth between your fingers, you sighed. “Thank you.” You meant it, reaching over with your free hand to squeeze the one he’d let settle on the countertop. “I’ll definitely use it.” 

He looked down at the same time you did, your inhale sharp when you saw your joined hands. Oh, shit. I didn’t … “You’re welcome.” Joel cleared his throat, looking back up at you through his eyelashes. “Gift card was just an excuse, though. There’s…” He straightened up again and then pulled his hand back, reaching up with it to rub at the back of his neck. “Shit, I’m bad at this.” 

“Bad at what?” Sliding the card back into the envelope, you leaned over to tuck it into the space next to the register. “What are you -”

“Sarah and Ellie mighta been responsible for the other night, but …” He wet his lips, Joel’s jaw twitching before he continued. “She was right when she said I’ve only got one project right now, because we just finished another big one.” You’d heard Sarah mention that he’d been working long hours, but she hadn’t gone into much detail. “The company we did the work for is … real happy with the outcome, and they’re …” He cleared his throat. “They’re havin’ a Christmas party next Saturday, and we’re invited. I was just gonna go with Tommy, because I figured even though it’s a holiday, it’s still a good time for networkin’, but…” 

“But what?” You tucked the gift card back in the envelope and then slid it toward the register, tilting your head. “Joel?” 

He looked away, eyes wandering over the assortment of instruments and equipment on display throughout the store before they landed back on you. He was apprehensive - you could see the uncertainty in his eyes. What is going on? “Would you have any interest in goin’ with me?” 

“To the party?” He nodded. “Next Saturday?” He nodded again, but all you could do was stare at him in shock, trying to comprehend his words. Going together to the Chamber party was one thing - you and Joel were both well known throughout the community, and the two of you spending time together wouldn’t raise any eyebrows. But at a function for his job? Where he’d be the only one I really know? That’s… “As a favor? Just so you don’t have to -”

“No. As a date.” He swallowed hard after he’d spoken, his eyes widening slightly. “My date.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? We’ve never spent -”

“I don’t know yet.” His smile widened, Joel shrugging. “But I’m still asking.” 

You laughed, the sound nervous. “I only work until 3. What time would I need to be ready?”

“I can pick you up around six?” He swiped a hand over his beard, nodding. “Take us about a half hour to get there.” Taking someone to a holiday party as a date says something. And we’ve never … he’s asking me to … shit. “Before you agree, though…” Joel took a deep breath, his voice steadier. “The project we worked on is a new hotel up near Lake Travis. And they’re openin’ the rooms to people that night.” So it’s an overnight thing? “If you say yes, I’m more than happy to drive back.” 

“Would we have two rooms?” Your heartbeat elevated, you eyed him with interest. “Or two beds, at least?”

“Two rooms. They offered a room to me an’ Tommy each, so if you come with me, you’d have one of them to yourself.” He held up a hand, shaking his head back and forth. “I’m not expectin’ anything, I just -”

“Yes.” You nodded, absolutely certain in your decision. “I’d like to go with you, Joel.” He looked surprised, his lips parting, though he didn’t speak. “Is there a dress code?” 

“Yeah. There is.” He pressed his lips together and then frowned. “Festive.” You burst out laughing at that, covering your eyes with your hands. “Why are you laughing?”

“Festive can mean anything from an ugly sweater to red and green but formal, and -”

“The hell if I’m wearin’ that.” He snorted, and then started laughing, too. “The invitation wasn’t real clear, so…”

“Festive probably means cocktail attire, Joel, but with a holiday twist that isn’t as formal.” You shrugged. “But that works for me. I’ve got a few things that will fit that requirement.” And so do the stores. “Um.” Blowing out a breath, you tried to compose yourself. “Are … does Sarah know you’re asking?”

“No.” He shook his head, chewing on his bottom lip. “She knows I’m goin’, but not about this.” So I won’t tell Ellie. Got it. “Those little shits intervened with me asking you to the other party, but not this one.” Biting back another laugh, you nodded in agreement. 

“They’re going to figure it out.” Narrowing your eyes, you leaned in. “When we’re both getting ready and then gone next Saturday night, and -”

“Yep.” He nodded, the expression on his face serious, though the look in his eyes was anything but. “But at least we won’t have to listen to ‘em all week beforehand.” You laughed again, rolling your eyes. “I’m gonna go, though. I don’t want to be late picking her up.” 

You nodded, lifting your hand and waving - not trusting yourself to speak. But when he reached the door and turned his head to look back at you from over his shoulder, you couldn’t stop yourself. “Joel?” He hummed, arching a brow. “I’m looking forward to next weekend.” 

He smiled - a broad, genuine one - and reached up to rub at the back of his neck. “Yeah. Me too.”

---

Part 2

[scarlettriot]

Breaking Point - On Ice

Pairing: Hockey Player Eijiro Kirishima x F!Reader

Warnings: Minors DNI, Panic Attacks, Fatfobic Comments, Badgering, Swearing

Contains: Struggles with trauma in the form of panic attacks, fluffy moments thrown in though too! As the pairing suggests, Kiri is a hockey player, reader is also plus size.

Summary: When Kirishima finds out you've never tried ice skating he insists you come to the hockey team's fundraiser at the rink.

Word Count: 4,601

A/N: This is part three in the Breaking Point series. I did make a mistake in the posting of part 2, all main characters are at least sophomores in college, not juniors. Friendly reminder this is a quirkless AU. I hope you enjoy getting some more background here.

Other Parts:

Breaking Point - Part One - Locked Out

Breaking Point - Part Two - Intimacy

Breaking Point - Part ? - Do More (This is just out-of-order smut for the time being)

Eijiro lay on the floor of your bedroom, flat on his stomach, with a pen between his teeth. You were situated on your bed, back against the wall, while textbooks and notepads surrounded you when you heard a thump.

Eijiro's head now atop his own binder, the pages muffling his aggravation, "'M gonna fail!"

"You are not. Don't be so dramatic!"

Over the last month, you really had become friends with the red-headed giant who you'd let use your shower on a whim. Of course, it helped a little that he'd been childhood friends with your roommate and also happened to be the cousin of her boyfriend.

There was also the fact that you had four classes together. Eijiro excelled in your psychology classes, understood the material with ease! It was the core classes that were giving him trouble. English Lit and Calc specifically. Katsuki, his best friend with the shortest temper of anyone you'd ever met, had taken up tutoring him in calculus even if it was for mildly selfish reasons. If his grade slipped any lower, he stood a chance of being benched for the hockey season and Captain Katsuki wasn't standing a chance of their best goalie not being able to play.

That just left English Lit which, you took last semester, and remembered the material pretty well. Enough to help him study and get a decent grade at least. That didn't mean Eijiro liked it though, still struggled despite trying his damndest.

You cleared a path and leaned over the edge of the bed, "Gotta move your head, big guy. I don't have superpowers, can't see through it." Eijiro lifted his head, the page of his textbook clinging to his forehead. "It just wants you to write a synopsis of the last five chapters, 1K minimum. Why are you gonna fail?"

"'Cause for the life of me I can't stay focused on it!" He rolled onto his back. "Don't know how you can read so much and like it." His eyes scanned over the five shelves that made up one of the walls in your bedroom, each filled to the point you had to start stacking piles of books on the floor in front of them. "I think you need another shelf."

You pointed to the box in your closet, already way ahead of him. "It's taller than the others and heavy as hell. I'm just waiting for Suka to get time to help me."

"Hello! You coulda asked me!"

He had a point, you could have, it just hadn't crossed your mind.

"I've got this hockey thing tonight and then practice tomorrow but I could stop by after and help you put it together."

"Sure, thanks! I have- you know, never mind, just come by when it's done."

You were supposed to have a date, nothing series, just a meet-up off an app. Nothing you couldn't reschedule or just cancel if you had to. They wanted you to come to their birthday celebration at a bar anyways... it certainly didn't feel very date-like.

"Great!"

"But, you know you actually have to finish this paper..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Gotta reread the chapters first though and hopefully remember enough of it." He started gathering his things, "I'll try again after this thing tonight. Unless you feel like coming to this fundraiser thing tonight with me and we can keep studying there."

You thanked him but, "I can't skate anyways, I don't think adding studying to the mix would be safe."

Eijiro dropped his books, "You what?"

"Yeah, I can't skate."

"You've always just said you didn't wanna go on open skate nights with us! How've I been friends with you this long and not known you couldn't skate!"

You shrugged, "I dunno. Not like it really comes up..."

"Please come tonight." His elbows rested on the edge of your bed, big eyes pleading with you.

"Why? So you can watch as I fall on my ass?"

"I mean, you probably will but who hasn't! I fall so much! Plus, you can be entertained by Kami singing terrible karaoke!"

You did like watching Denki's performances... "What if I just show up at the rink and not skate? I'll be happy to come and show my support!"

His eyebrows dropped. "You've gotta try it. Please, Y/N. If you hate it, I'll drop it forever."

"Fine. Only if you promise you'll read two chapters when you get home AND text me about them so you can remember what you read. Do we have a deal?"

He gave a rather indignant sigh but finally accepted your terms.

You agreed to meet at the rink around 8, giving you enough time to make a pit stop at the library before going. Eijiro made a point to remind you to wear something warm but that you could still move easily in, and thick socks. That was a very important point he was driving home.

A part of you wished Itsuka was going, wanting the comfort of your best friend around but you knew she had to check in on her brother back home as well as her grandfather. The nursing home made things easier in some ways and yet harder in so many others.

So, you grabbed something to eat, threw on a hoodie and a thicker pair of black leggings, and dug out a pair of black cotton gloves just in case, stuffing them into your bag for now, and proceeded to lock up for the evening.

>>><<<

The library was on the way to the ice complex. A massive ten-story tall building with an art gallery taking up two of the floors. You loved this place. Becoming very acquainted with its walls during your freshman year. The only place quiet enough for you to study.

You nodded at the woman on duty at the circulation desk. Showing you the school idea even though she knew who you were and headed right for the elevators to take you up to the sixth floor, straight to the section that contained books of philosophical fiction.

At home, on your second bookshelf from the right to be exact, you had your own copy of The Picture of Dorian Grey but, Eijiro's class was reading the version that consisted of twenty chapters rather than your book's thirteen. You scanned the shelf and were in luck, plucking the book and heading right back to the elevator.

"Are you taking English Lit over again?"

It always amazed you the way the woman at the desk remembered faces. Hundreds of people had to come through this library on a daily basis and yet she could recall names and classes with seemingly no effort at all.

"No, not exactly, a friend of mine is though and he's struggling a bit. Just wanna freshen upon it."

"What a good person you are! Your friend better consider himself a lucky man." She scanned the book, reminded you of the three you still had checked out, and bid you a good weekend.

>>><<<

For a fundraising event, there weren't too many people present at the ice complex, even the overall team's members seemed to be lacking. Not that the school had that big of a hockey team to begin with. Itsuka told you how it started off as a club just last year with only six members, just enough to form a team. At least now their numbers had tripled.

You could hear music pouring out of the rink as well as chatter and laughter.

You pushed open the door happy to see some familiar faces. "Hey! Y/N!" Hanta waved from the concession stand balancing a basket of nachos and a pretzel in his hand, "Ha. Thanks." taking the basket and cup of cheese from him.

"Kiri said you'd be stopping by."

"It's sort of just a way of getting him to actually do his literary homework."

The man laughed, "Yeah. He's been trying to tackle that book. Kami threw a shoe at him the other day for walking around narrating it at one in the morning."

So, he did try reading to himself. It was good to know he was at least trying to take your advice.

Someone slammed into the rink's wall making you jolt, a nervous chirp escaping you in the process before you heard the low laugh of the team captain. "Show'd up, huh, Squeaks? Go talk to Headphones and get a pair of skates. Heard you've never been on the ice, time we fix that."

You'd only had a moment to wonder why it was Katsuki telling you to get skates rather than Eijiro because as soon as you looked at the explosive captain you spotted the redhead over his shoulder, skating backward, and holding the hands of a little girl bundled in a jacket as puffy and pink as her older sisters hair. The little girl couldn't have been related to anyone other than Mina Ashido.

"Come on, I'll show ya."

Hanta led the way around the concession counter and to a small window where Kyoka was sitting, busy fiddling with buttons on a soundboard. She smiled, seeing the two of you at the window and pulling back her headphones so she could hear when you told her your size.

The fee wasn't a lot and you were happy to pay it since half was going to the team.

"Can I help ya? That's way too loose." Hanta commented on your laces.

"This is how I normally tie my shoes."

"That might be but these have to be tight to give you the support you need. Plus, you don't want them coming undone on the ice, that's just a pain in the ass."

He bent down in front of you, tugging and pulling until the top of the boot was snug and asking you if it was too tight before tying it off and moving to the next one. He held out his hands, pulling you up onto your feet. "Walkings gonna feel a little weird, so, take your time."

You took a cautious step, balancing on the thin blade. "Feels like I'm walking on a tight rope."

"It's going to for a little while but you'll get used to it." He led you around the wall of the rink, letting you get a feel for them, checking again how they felt on your feet.

"Hey!" A whirl of pink hair zipped by you, Mina, spinning around perfectly on the ice and joining you both by the wall. "Whatcha waiting for? Get her out here Hanta!"

"Whenever you're ready."

If you hate it, I'll drop it forever.

You just had to try it once, one lap. "I'm gonna fall."

"That's a part of it though, babe." Mina grinned and glided back to the rink entrance. "Everyone here has fallen." She held out her hand while you carefully placed one foot on the ice. "I'm gonna hold this hand, grab the wall with your other. Hanta will be right behind you, okay?"

Everything wobbled the moment both feet were on the ice, knees locking just to try and stay upright. "Whoa, don't do that. Keep them bent just a little." Hanta corrected, "Locking your knees is a sure-fire way to fall."

Mina pulled you along, neither foot lifting off the ice, while your heart was firmly lodged in your throat. "You're doing just fine, see!" You really weren't doing anything but her praise was still nice.

"Mina!" You almost slipped, trying to follow the voice, but Hanta caught your elbow and guided both your hands to the wall. Jiro was standing at the entrance, waving a box over her head.

"Crap," Mina muttered. "I forgot to set something up with the sound system to get the karaoke going. Hanta, can you help me real fast, you're taller."

"Wha, what about me?"

"We will be right back. Promise! Not even taking our skates off!" They were gone before you could say anything else... damn it.

You stared at the far side of the rink, you'd gone exactly halfway around. One lap. You just had to go one lap. Your fingers gripped the edge of the wall, muttering to yourself, hating how unstable you felt when your feet started to move, oh no no no...

Willing them to stop moving wasn't working. Quickly, you pulled against the wall but you were getting away from it, "Come on, stop stop, please." You muttered but your feet weren't listening.

A hand slipped behind your waist. "You really shouldn't panic. All you have to do is point your toe down into the ice. 'Surprised someone didn't tell you that."

You had no idea who the man beside you was. Tall and slender with blonde hair falling in front of blue eyes. "You really have no idea what you're doing out here, do you? Poor thing."

"I'm, well, I'm just waiting for-"

"Not a problem, I'd be happy to help you back where you'll be more comfortable."

"Back off, Monoma." Someone's warm hand was tight on your shoulder, that gruff voice at your back. "She's fine."

"Take it easy, Bakugo, I wasn't doing anything. She just looked uneasy, that's all."

"Yeah, right. Why are you even here?"

"Supporting my dear brother, though I haven't seen him around."

"Kaminari's got class 'til 8." You turned, Eijiro skidding to a stop at your side, the little girl up in his arms.

"You'd think you'd know that about your, dear brother." Katsuki spat.

Katsuki pulled you back against him, slipping slightly but you were more than safe in his grasp. "Ah, that's right. Must have slipped my mind. Well, you seem in capable hands, enjoy your evening. I'll make sure to leave a donation to your little club before I go."

"Don't want any of your damn money."

"Hehe. Eiji said a bad word! Imma tell Mina!"

The two weren't distracted by the bundle of giggles in his arms. "Kats, can you take Hana back to Mina, please?"

Hana pouted, lip sticking out while she whined, "No, wanna stay with you, Eiji, please?"

Katsuki took the little girl. "You'll have your boyfriend back in a little bit, Squirt."

"So, Denki has a brother?"

"Step." Eijiro clarified, his arm casually slipping around you making sure you didn't lose your balance. "Like, we've never really found anything wrong with the guy. He's a year older than us, has money thanks to his mother, and likes to toss it around, he's just always rubbed us the wrong way. Little comments here or there about Denki but nothing to warrant us actually getting mad at him."

"Katsuki seemed pretty mad."

"That's just his default setting though." Eijiro sighed, shaking his head, before settling on a grin, "Anyway, "m happy you came. Sorry, I couldn't help you right away."

"That's alright. You were skating with a cutie. I can't blame you for that."

"I dunno why Hana latches onto me, but she has since she was a baby. We were fifteen when she was born and Mina loved babysitting so we all got used to her being around. But, I guess being Mina's neighbor meant I was around a little more than most."

"That's actually pretty cute."

He chuckled. "You're pretty good at this, by the way."

You hadn't even realized it. Eijiro had pulled you from the wall and you'd been skating at his side this whole time. Granted, he was doing most of the work but still! "Hey, don't tense up on me now!" He spun and took your hands in his, just like he'd been skating with Hana. "I've got ya. Just try moving your feet. Push against me."

With speed, something actually felt a bit familiar to you. You hadn't rollerbladed in years but you pushed off exactly like you used to. The toe pick Monoma had mentioned snagging a bit of the ice but Eijiro kept you stable with a smile, cheering you on and into your second lap around the ice.

He watched you, then your feet, his brows slowly coming together. "What? What am I doing wrong?"

"No, nothing like that but, you sorta skate like a hockey player. See, look at Mirio over there watch how he moves compared to his boyfriend who's a figure skater." He directed you to the blonde and his blue-haired boyfriend and there was something different about them. Mirio was moving about, turning quickly, chattering around Tamaki who pivoted when needed, favoriting long turns. "I think you should try a pair of hockey skates."

"Next time, Eijiro, okay?"

It was impossible to miss the way his face lit up. "Next time? You wanna do this again?"

"Yeah, yeah, this isn't so bad, actually. Just don't leave me stranded, 'kay?"

"Not a chance."

He continued to guide you around the rink so many times you'd lost count, bracing to catch you each time you stumbled. "I think you should try going backwards."

"Eijiro, no," A devilish grin spread across his face, "No, no, you can't. I can't!"

"Oh yes, you can!"

"No! Don't do it!"

You felt his hands shift, "Hang on tight."

He whipped you around. "Move your feet just a little," He pushed you along, "Yeah! Hell yeah! You got it!"

Despite wobbly knees, you woke muscles you hadn't used in ages from when you roller skated, gliding your feet the only way you knew how and praying it worked. And it did... for about twelve seconds.

A groove in the ice made you stumble backward, letting go of Eijiro as your arms flailed, doing your best windmill impression. You didn't hit the ice though. Eijiro was too quick to let that happen. He'd grabbed your waist and spun you around again. You still fell but onto his chest instead, his back smacking against the ice.

"Shit! Kiri! I'm so-"

His laughing cut you off, did he hit his head!? "You did great!"

"Gr-great? You think I did great!? Eijiro! What the hell is wrong with you!" You barely even felt the bite of the cold ice below your bare hands as you stared down at him waiting to see dark red blood trickling from behind his head, indicating some trauma.

"'Nothing! And you did! Better than me first time I tried anyways!"

"Don't break my damn goalie, Squeaks! I need 'em!"

"Or do!" You looked up to see Denki zipping by, a mic in his hands, "A broken Kiri means I might actually get some ice time!" The blonde wore a large smile, laughing in good fun before yelling at Kyoka to drop the screen for karaoke to begin.

"Are you alright?" Eijiro made sure to ask when you scooted off of him.

When you assure him you were, he hoisted you back up on your feet, slipping up only twice before regaining your balance just as Denki began singing Sweet Caroline.

You stayed out far later than you expected. Ended up walking back to the apartments with Eijiro, Hanta, Mina, and Denki. Hugging them each good night before slipping into the quiet of your apartment.

>>><<<

The next morning, you woke up late. The copy of Dorian Gray from the library lay open across your chest and the voice recorder was dangerously close to the edge of your bed. A quick playback told you you'd made it halfway through chapter eight before falling asleep. Decent progress.

Itsuka wasn't home, you noticed that on your way back from the bathroom. Her bed was still made and when you checked your phone, sure enough, there was the text telling you she was crashing at Tetsu's place. Honestly, you didn't even know why she bothered renting this place with you when she was never here.

That was a lie, you did know. It was out of kindness. Because she was a good person and knew you couldn't afford the rent on your savings alone. Hell, next year you were going to have to get a job along with classes just to stay in the apartment.

You also knew it was her way of looking after you. Itsuka would never outright say it but you knew she never looked at you the same after what happened your senior year of high school, and you couldn't really blame her. In fact, you were thankful in a way. Out of everyone you tried pushing away, Itsuka was the one who refused to let you slip through the cracks. Not only that, she pulled you back on your feet too. Literally filled out your college application when you felt like you didn't even deserve to go.

Itsuka Kendo was too damn good for this world and now she was dealing with her dying grandfather and trying to support her younger brother, needing to get him through just one more year of school. You wanted to go back with her on her visits, you felt like you owed her that after all she'd done for you but just the thought of driving through your old town terrified you and thankfully, she knew that.

Still, you were going to think of some way to help her. Something you could do. You added it to your list:

Currently, you just had to cancel your "date", finish chapter eight of Dorian Grey, and then download the audio files before Eijiro's practice ended in two hours.

Canceling the date was task one. Wanting to give as much notice as possible, already feeling a little guilty for forgetting to do it yesterday, you opened the app, reading a few of the messages they'd sent while you'd been away. You'd seen a few come in while you were at the rink but were honestly having too good of a time to want to respond.

Them: Gonna be a great party. Tons of drinks to go around.

You were still underaged but that meant little to a lot of college students. Besides that, you probably should have mentioned that you wouldn't be drinking even if you legally could.

Them: Your pictures look so hot! Bet those curves look even better in person ;)

Them: This is gonna be an awesome birthday. I know the present you're gonna give me is gonna be the best.

They could have just said they wanted to fuck you and it would have been quicker.

You: I'm really sorry but something's come up and I'm not going to be making it tonight. Hope you have a great party though.

Leaving your phone tossed on your bed forgotten, you moved on to task number two: the book.

It only took you ten or so minutes to finish the chapter. The files themselves took a while to upload to your computer, giving you enough time to throw together a bit of breakfast and take a shower in the meantime. Once they were all neat and orderly, you pulled a flash drive from the clutter on your desk, wiped it, and then started the download process. It was all rather robotic at this point.

Tugging on a hoodie and jeans, you intended on cleaning up your room a bit. Making sure you and Eijiro would have plenty of room for building. First was your rug, pushing it out of the way leaving only the wooden floor below, a nice even surface. You'd rolled it up, setting it in the corner of your room when you noticed your notifications flashing.

The dating app. They'd responded right after your message and you simply missed it... and the messages didn't stop coming through.

Them: Not gonna make it? Why?

Them: You mean like at all? Aw, come on baby? Don't leave me high and dry on my birthday.

Three minutes after,

Them: At least stop by my place later and gimme my present.

Them: That fat ass will do.

You sank to the floor of your room, back pressed against your bed, reading the messages that got progressively worse.

Them: Not gonna fuckin' answer now? Sick of damn teases like you.

Them: All you guys are good for is a quick fuck anyways.

Them: C'mon! I was even nice to you! Bet that doesn't happen often! Not with the way you look!

Them: Why can't you just gimme what I want?

It's all your good for... I was nice to you... gimme what I want...

Your chest felt tight as the phrases played over and over again. It crept up on you at the worst times, from the most damn things...

Just listen. Just do what they ask. Everything will be okay if you just listen.

Just listen, just do what they ask, everything will be okay. Just listen, just do what they ask, everything would be okay...

The way your brain twisted facts and bent reality, making it into nonsense that only seemed right within your mind. Your fingers pressed into your scalp, desperate to quiet the mess.

Everything will be okay, it'll be okay, it'll be okay, she'd be okay- in your hand, your phone began to vibrate.

Through blurry eyes, you made out the bright red hair of Kirishima's caller ID photo. You made sure to clear your throat before answering, steadying your voice.

"Hey, Kiri, what's up?"

"Hey, are you home?"

"Yeah. Been here all morning."

"Well, I've been knocking on your door for the last ten minutes. Can ya come lemme in?"

Ten minutes? Shit. You hadn't heard a thing. "Yeah! Sorry, I had my headphones on."

You could only pray your eyes weren't too red as you quickly wiped away any tears that may have spilled before answering the door. "Heya!" But his bright smile faltered. "You alright?"

"Totally!" Lying had become so easy now. You barely had to think about it, "This is gonna sound dumb but I stubbed my toe on my bed. Don't laugh! It really hurt!"

"Oh... Yeah, I've done that a couple times myself. It's okay though, right, no blood?"

"No, I'll be just fine."

>>><<<

Eijiro let you lead him into your home, carefully watching your back because he knew you were hiding something. He'd meant to take a shower before coming over but he heard your muttering coming through your open bedroom window. It wasn't like he was listening in but he'd heard your words nonetheless, heard you repeat them over and over. He knocked, banged on your front door with his fist actually, and got no response. Just the same words over and over.

He'd tried looking in your window, just wanting to know if you were okay but your curtains and the blind kept you hidden from view, kept your whole room private which, any other time, would have been great! He didn't want to scare you by calling through the window to you, didn't know if that'd be better or worse.

That's why he pulled out his phone and called you. Thrilled that apparently, that was enough to bring you out of whatever panic you were in.

He wished you'd talk to him, tell him whatever the fuck that was about, how long you'd been in a panic, but it was clear you weren't going to. He saw you flinch though when you looked at your phone, caught a glimpse at the screen, a dating app?

The same contact kept popping up but you just ignored it. "Do you wanna get that?"

"No. It's fine. Nothing important."

Sure seemed important. Or eager? He wasn't sure but it bothered you.

And, if you weren't going to talk to him about it, he was going to do the next best thing he could think of: distract you. "So, where's that bookshelf?"

[lokis-army-77]

If You Please

Chapter twelve

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2588

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: none

Note: Normally I am the type of person to be date accurate when writing things and if you are too, I'm sorry. I messed up on the dates, so the battle of New York happens like a month after it should. This is also a short chapter because it's a filler and I'm trying to just get to the Winter Soldier but have everything make sense.

<< Previous Next>>

Masterlist

A few days later I had received a small archivist job in the WWII department of the Smithsonian. Thankfully the made-up resume and a few fake SHIELD recommendations came in handy. I would officially start the following week after a few background checks were cleared. In my free time until then, I unpacked all the boxes in my apartment. It started to feel more homely and warm when all of my things filled up the space. When I didn’t feel like unpacking anything, I started taking long walks to the VFW building. I hadn’t joined in on any of the meetings yet, I just stood by the doorway and watched, listening to the stories people told.

One day that week as I stood back in the hallway after the meeting had ended, a man came up to me. He was a little taller than I was and had the brightest smile I had ever seen. I had watched him in the meetings before, he was usually the one hosting them, giving advice to all who needed it.

“I’ve seen you standing out here for the past three days, why don’t you come have a seat next time? It would be more comfortable than standing out here for an hour.” He said as he leaned his back against the wall right next to me.

“I have thought about it, but I tend to get here after you have started. I don’t want to interrupt anything by just barging in.” I said over my shoulder at him.

“You won't interrupt anything, just come on in next time, we’d be happy to have a new face around,” He pushed himself off the wall and walked down the hall.

After that, I ended up joining the meetings and even spoke a few times. I learned that the man who came up to me that day was Sam Wilson, pararescue, who had served two tours in Afghanistan. From the first day he came up and talked to me to now, we quickly became friends.

The days had turned into weeks and I was finally able to live relatively by my own means. The Smithsonian was great, in the archives, no one was really around and I could spend a whole day without any interruptions, which allowed me to just concentrate on what I was doing. After closing, I normally walked to meet Sam, who was usually way too excited to see me, even though we saw each other almost every day without fail.

“You’re late today.” I jumped, startled out of my thoughts at the sound of someone talking to me. I looked up, spying Sam standing next to one of the small trees outside the VFW building.

“What do you mean late?”

“I mean you usually get here at three-thirty. It's four right now.” He said looking down at his watch.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realize. I've just been lost in my thoughts lately.” I sighed.

“I know we’ve only been friends for what? A month? But I already know when something is bothering you, What is it?”

“Nothing really, just my brother. Since moving here he's called at least twice a week to check up but it’s been radio silence for the past two weeks, he doesn't even answer when I try calling him. I'm just a little worried that something bad is going on, considering his job.”

“Well, maybe he’s just really busy at the moment, or he's somewhere he can't call you. You know how it is being out on those military missions.”

“I know, it’s just the last time we were apart on a mission,” I trailed off and looked up at Sam, he raised his eyebrows, quietly waiting for the end of the sentence. “Someone close to us passed. It’s still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. I was there that day and I was too far away to even know what had happened, now my brother and I aren’t even in the same vicinity as each other, there is no telling what could happen and it makes me nervous.”

He gave me a small apologetic smile and patted my shoulder before leading me from the tree where we stood to where his car was parked. “What do you say we hang out at mine and just watch some tv? Get your mind off things? Or we can talk about it, either way, it’s better than dealing with it alone.” I nodded my head and grabbed onto the car door handle as he unlocked it.

Walking through the front door after him I took a quick look around. It was cozy, way more decorated than I thought it would be for a man in his early thirties living alone.

“Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink?” He asked neck-deep in the fridge.

“Okay, I’ll just have some water,” I called out as I made my way further into the living room. The couch was backed up to the wall a few feet away from the dining room table. I sat down on it and scooted as close as I could to its right arm. A few moments later Sam came over with two glasses of water and a bag of chips. He handed me my drink before crashing down into his own seat. “Thank you,” I said before taking a long sip.

He nodded as he said “No problem.” Before he got himself really comfortable he searched around for the TV remote. As he pressed the ‘on’ button the TV came to life. “What in the world is that?” He sounded concerned so I quickly looked at the screen.

“Breaking: Attack on New York City. This afternoon at 2:15 several unidentified aircraft descended onto Earth's surface. Strange beings, some are calling aliens, Accompanied these ships and are causing havoc in Manhattan. Eyewitnesses have stated that they have seen Iron Man, and what seemed to be Captain America, leading a team of three others fighting back against the invaders. The battle seems to be over but updates are still coming in, let's take a look at some footage of the downtown destruction.” My eyes went wide and my heart stopped as I listened to what the reporter was saying. I kept my eyes glued to the screen as it changed to show a destroyed street. As the camera panned around I spotted Steve fighting against two of the creatures, before the clip quickly changed to show one of the large ships crashing into the New York skyline.

“Oh God Steve, what did you get into?” I murmured to myself.

“You say that like you know him personally.”

“Uhh.” I just gave him a wide-eyed look of surprise. “I do, he’s my brother.”

“Now really isn’t the time to be joking about things,” He gave me a pointed look.

“I swear I’m not joking, he really is my brother. I can explain later, I need to try and get a hold of him.” I pulled out the small flip phone from my pocket and dialed the number for Steve's cell phone, it rang and rang but no answer. I hung up quickly and dialed the number Fury gave me at the beginning of the month. After two rings he answered.

“I assume you are looking for Captain Rogers.”

“Where is he? Is he okay?” I tried to keep the worried tone from coming through in my voice.

“He’s fine. He is in the middle of a debriefing. I’ll tell him you called.”

“Okay, thank you.” As soon as the words left my mouth he gave a quick hum and then hung up. I looked over at Sam whose eyes hadn't left me at all. “Everything is fine, he's in a debrief so that means that whatever happened in New York is definitely over.”

“That’s good to hear, hopefully, those things don’t try to come back again.” He shook like a shiver ran down his spine. “Now please explain how Captain America, a man from the 1940s, is your brother.”

“I can hear the skepticism in your voice.”

He held his hands up in defense, “Hey, I'm not the one saying I'm the sister to a 90 something-year-old man.”

“Look, it’s a long story that I would rather not get into now but the short version is that I was born in 1921, Steve is my older brother, we both ended up taking the super-soldier serum and fought against HYDRA in the second world war. We ended up crashing a plane into some Ice in the Atlantic ocean and were found and unfrozen last October.” “If you are really Captain America’s sister, then why are you never mentioned in anything?” I looked at him and shook my head.

“Well for starters it was the forties and I was a woman fighting on the front lines. Credit is never given where it is due. But there is also the fact that I was a part of the SSR, which was very secretive, after I died.” I put my fingers up in air quotes, “They should have erased most, if not all the files on me, per protocol. The only reason Steve is well known is because of his time going cross country selling war bonds.” I paused for a second before quickly adding, “I’m sure if you look hard enough, you’ll find me in the history books somewhere.”

Sam just sat there not really saying anything. This was the first time I think he had ever been quiet for more than five seconds. I let out a deep sigh and stood, grabbing my bag from the floor. “Thanks for having me over, but I think I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood and walked me to the door.

“Don’t be late. I’ll see you.” Sam waved me off and I headed down the street.

About half a year later while sorting through some archive files, I came across Peggy Carter. I felt a pang in my heart as I stared at the photo of her standing next to Howard Stark. Other than Steve and Bucky, those two were my closest friends. I fell down a rabbit hole after that, finding any information on the two that I could find. They had both helped found SHIELD in 1965, they had both gotten married and had children of their own. Peggy's children had stayed out of the public eye, but in true Stark fashion, Howard’s son evidently took over the family business and was living the high life. I pulled out a newspaper from the stack I had on the table in front of me and was shocked at what I saw. The title read ‘Howard and Maria Stark Die in Car Accident’, I knew Howard most likely wasn’t alive anymore but seeing the photographs of the wrecked car in the newspaper cast a somber mood through the room.

I laid the paper down on the table and ruffled through more of the papers before determining that we had no information on if Peggy was alive or not. That sent me into a frenzy of looking through phone books to try and find her and calling every retirement home in DC that I could. The only lead I had to go off of was a small interview from a newspaper, talking to Peggy about the seventieth anniversary of V-E Day, stated that she was living in Washington, DC.

After eight failed calls, finally, on the ninth, I had finally found a home which had a Peggy Carter as a residence in room 204. I rushed to pack up my things and left my office early. I ran down the back hallways as fast as I could without drawing too much attention. When I made it out of the building I ran full speed to the road to hail a cab.

Amazingly the traffic was almost nonexistent and I made it to the retirement home in only ten minutes. I fumbled out of the cab and I raced through the front doors of the building. I must have startled the women at the front desk because as soon as I rounded the corner to the staircase, they were yelling after me. I took the steps three at a time in my haste to get to the second floor. I stopped running when I was outside of room 204. I couldn’t see anything clearly through the frosted window so I knocked hesitantly and slowly opened the door and stepped in.

There in the middle of the room, against the wall was a single bed. A woman laid there quietly with her eyes closed. The closer I came to her the more familiar she looked. I let out a relieved gush of breath. There she was, older now, but still the Peggy I once knew. I nervously grabbed one of the chairs in the corner of the room and brought it over to her bedside so I could sit. Gently I gave her a small tap on the hand before just holding it in mine. She stirred but her eyes never opened.

All of a sudden one of the nurses from downstairs came into the room, with an angry and shocked expression.

“Ma’am, You can't be in here. If you want to see a patient, you have to sign in.” I ignored her, my eyes trained on Peggy's face. The commotion of the woman barging into the room had made her open her eyes and look around. I just watched as she scanned the room, first to the door on the left, to the wall in front of her, past me sitting on her right, then to the window behind me.” Her brows raised and she lifted her hands to her eyes to rub. The shock on her face was evident as she turned her head to stare directly at me.

“Hey Carter, long time no see huh?” I gave her the biggest smile that I could.

“Is it really you?” She reached her hand out to mine and grabbed hold.

“It is, it’s really me.”

“Ma’am, I mean it, you can't be here.” The nurse tried again, this time Peggy shot her a glare.

“Ms. I’ll have you know this is one of my best friends and she can be in here if she wants to. Now leave us alone.” The young nurse nodded her head and rushed out, even in old age she could still put on that commanding tone that struck fear in every man. She slowly turned back to me, almost like if she looked back for me, I would be gone. “How? How are you here?”

“It’s a long story Peg, are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Look where I am, I have nothing but time.” She laughed out and I let out my own small laugh as I shook my head.

In addition to what I had been doing, like hanging out with Sam, after that first visit, I made it a priority to see Peggy once or twice every two weeks, depending on how she was doing. Dementia had put a lot of stress on her, and seeing me after almost seventy-five years and looking relatively the same as I had when frozen took out a giant toll on her.

And that's how the next 10 months went until Steve eventually moved into an apartment directly under me.

Tag List: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @underc0vercryptid-reads @geek-and-proud @intothesoul @leyannrae @starkleila

[rockinmyownboat]

When The Core Misses the Mark ...

I'm done with this hellhole I'm working in.

I'm sick of the hostile work environment being cultivated by a co worker towards me. He has had a stick up his ass towards me since my second week in the warehouse. After week 3, I started snapping back.

I don't tolerate it when someone is consistently rude and acts like a prick towards me. I tolerate them less when I see them do it to others.

Well Corey found this out the hard way on two separate occasions.

First off the guys been there four months. So he's hardly a vet. He routinely backtalks our lead and refuses to comply with instructions. He has on several occasions tried to assert himself as a "lead" and overstepped boundaries. He consistently shows up late or not at all.

The company tolerates him because he's our fastest picker.

We've had two unfriendly incidents that have created a hostile work environment.

The first incident happened because I was trying to clarify details on an order. Core Mark has ZERO consistency so every day the jobs always changing. It's never the same. That's already been frustrating as fuck. And then he got pissy and snarky with me when I asked a question .

We ended up screaming at each other. I don't come to work to put up with that shit. The rest of the day was nothing but ice cold tension. he actually body checked me a couple times as we bustled around the warehouse. I take unkind actions even less than i take unkind words.

I also don't give a shit about his ego enough to indulge his culture. I'm not gonna fight him cause HE wants to be an entitled asshole.

The first time, I immediately went to my boss to see what could be done considering the jobs already hard enough as it is.

I'm not gonna be berated and talked down to like an idiot by a snarky co worker that has the EXACT SAME BADGE that I do to buzz in the building. This asshole is not my superior so he doesn't get to act like it.

I was assured by my boss that the three of us would sit down in a meeting to get it all resolved before I needed to go to HR and report a hostile work environment.

That meeting never happened. What did?

Well, nothing.

Corey got a slap on the wrist and I became the most hated man in the freezer for being a narc. Because word travels fast when you report a coworker to your boss for a hostile work environment in a warehouse.

Enter incident number 2: I was stacking up these massive boxes. They're about 3.5 x5 ' and weigh about 35 lbs each. I was making sure that everything was stickered properly and stable on the pallet before moving on. Like I'm supposed to do to avoid hundreds of dollars of product damage.

All I needed was to be left alone to do my goddamn job.

Enter Corey who rides up on his pallet jack like a fucking Texas Hick honking loudly and impetuously. He's screaming at me, "MOVE! GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY!!!"

Like really, bro? You think that's the way to get my attention huh?

I stayed right where I was. I held up one finger in the air, indicating I HEARD him.

I told him he could wait.

His reaction? He laid into his horn blasting it in my ear as he cussed me out. So i just told him he'd get a better reaction from me if he wasn't such a fucking asshole all the time.

Understandably, as accurate as my observation was, it didn't help. It just pissed him off more.

This impetuous little shit was so butthurt that he left. Just dipped out. And the rest of us were stuck there til 4 in the goddamn morning.

Even after this second incident, no effort was taken by management to rectify the situation. However word travels fast. And because I refused to let a bully disrespect me, I'm now a social pariah.

Good times, huh?

Yeah the best....

I'm tired of leaving work at almost 4 and going to sleep as the sun rises. I've almost fallen asleep at the wheel several times and brought it to management's attention that I need to be out of there no later than 2 AM as a SAFETY and LEGAL issue.

I drive 20 miles on Oregon backroads with minimal lighting after being exhausted by a back breaking job. I'm more dangerous and impaired when I'm tired than i ever was when I was a drunk.

I've seen what exhaustion does to a car when you fall asleep at the wheel. I fucked up two rental cars that way a few years ago. True Story.

I'm a higher risk to other drivers and MYSELF and it's a risk I will not take.

If I kill someone or get killed in a car accident because I'm too tired to stay awake, it's a goddamn liability on Core Mark. Especially when they baited and switched by hiring me before telling me that I'd be putting in upwards of 14 hours per day on a goddamn SWING shift.

I didn't sign on to work over night. There's the bait and switch

I had entered a verbal agreement which was verified by both my supervisor, my boss, AND my lead. Because of the distance I have to travel I NEED to leave by 2 am. Plain and simple.

All three said the same thing. "Sounds fair. "

Well apparently it was not so fair because the other night my sup made me stay again until 3 fucking 30 in the morning by assigning me to a 140 piece pick at 1:45 am.

I almost told her to fuck herself. But I didn't. Cause I'm a good guy. And good guys don't say shit like that to their professional superiors.

Instead I did the assignment and got out of there. Cause that's what a good worker does.

For the first time, I had no problem staying awake. It's easy to stay awake when I'm literally seething with bitterness and resentment.

Funny. They say "we're like a family. "

It seems pretty goddamn accurate to a real family. It's disjointed. Toxic. Demoralizing. I have a lot of experienced being devalued. See, I was treated this way by most of my own family. Verbally abused...Broken promises and expectations ... the inability to be consistent ....

As a direct result, I haven't talked to most of my extended family for almost two years because I refuse to associate myself with those who are all gab with no substance to back it.

Now I'm stuck in a frozen hellhole managed by these same kind of asshats that think calling this a "family" will cultivate some kind of loyalty from me.

The moment my sup told me "I can't let you go early cause I'll have a mutiny on my hands." Was literally the exact moment my last fuck was given for this job. I have no desire to work for someone that can't keep my respect by keeping their word.

Want my loyalty? Show your loyalty to me first.

I'm done.

I hate being angry and that's all this job makes me. I get no fulfillment or passion from it. Good money? Hah!

The suffering is not worth the payout or the impact to the balance of my life.

#coremark

#winterwonderland

#bluebunnyrivers