#I've been stuck on chapter one since...March or April?

[zackprincebooks]

I'm stuck on my first chapter of The Siren and her Godking. Would anyone like to take a peek at it and offer me some feedback?

"Land ho!"

Those two words are enough to rouse excitement on the small ship, and footsteps thunder up and down the stairs as the passengers rush to the deck. The blinding sun greets them, and several cry out in shock while others grumble their dissent as they are forced to shield their eyes.

But the sight is worth it: ahead of the ship, the island of Padena rises from the emerald sea into the sapphire sky. Ships bob and sway in the harbor as fishers unload and count their catch. The city of Viaserta awaits them, long stretches of white stone and pale wooden beams. A market is visible, with colorful awnings to protect vendors and patrons alike from the hot sun as they haggle for figs, olives, and pomegranates.

This is the destination of the boat's passengers: the traveling opera company known as Euphony. They departed from the coastal town of Thessatraki four days ago with all their belongings squished into traveling trunks alongside their costumes, props, and musical instruments. This was not a spur-of-the moment trip, nor was it another stop on Euphony’s opera circuit.

No—the island of Padena will be Euphony’s new, permanent home.

After the initial commotion, silence reigns among the travelers. They watch with wide eyes as with each bob and sway of the ship, they grow closer to their new home. The air is filled with the sounds of splashing water, calling gulls, and the distant murmur of three-hundred thousand souls.

It is the prima donna, Sirene, who breaks the silence with a soft whisper of, “it’s incredible.”

Immediately the rest of Euphony erupts into cheering and praise. Daina, their director, is openly weeping in joy, comforted by her husband Akylas; Ursula is trying to climb the railing while Leila and Sandor are trying to pull her down and push her up respectively; and the rest of their celebration is marked by a chorus of screaming and singing.

Three years ago, the Viaserta Opera House caught fire after a smoke effect malfunctioned. Thankfully, no one perished in the flames--but the opera house was gutted by the disaster. Seeing the destruction as a bad omen, the previous opera company left for greener pastures; abandoning both the opera house and the accompanying actor's apartments, which were left untouched by the fire. Without an opera company willing to make it their home, the Viaserta Opera House sat abandoned. Other than reinforcing the structure to prevent its total collapse, no construction had been completed in those three years despite the Godking of Padena offering a grant to any enterprising opera company who wanted to move in.

In all honesty, Euphony did not expect to earn the grant. Their status as a touring opera company didn't give them an appearance of reliability. They hadn't even been to Padena for a prior performance, and surely the Godking wanted to give preference to opera companies from Padena. When Daina sent off the application, she warned everyone that they were probably fighting with a dozen opera companies with better shots for the grant.

And then—they got it.

Sirene remembered the day they got the grant. They had been in Logorda for a month; not wanting to unpack their trunks and settle down in case they got the letter.

The mail was delivered to their temporary lodgings with little fanfare; packages and presents from admirers lumped in with their restaurant tabs and bills from the tailors. But the wax seal on the lip of the envelope set this letter apart from the rest of the bills and trinkets. Daina could barely read the acceptance letter and needed to pass it around the rest of the opera company for everyone to read a line or two before they became emotionally overwhelmed.

It was Sirene who, through a shaking voice and tears streaming down her face, eventually read the announcement:

“Please find the included documents: the deed of gift to the Viaserta Opera House and its accompanying actor’s apartments; the check for repairs, props, and salaries; travel documents, and itemized list of repairs needed to pass the building inspection for the Viaserta Opera House.”

The minute that Sirene finished reading the Godking's titles, Euphonia swept into a tornado of activity as they packed trunks, paid bills, settled the tab of their lodgings, and made their travel arrangements for Padena.

It almost felt surreal to finally be here.

When the ship finally docks, Euphony stands on the ship's deck with all of their luggage; clustered together like baby birds afraid to flee the nest. What if they fall? What if they step on the dock and it de-materializes, revealing this all to be a shared dream?

One hand on her luggage and her eyes squeezed shut, Sirene extends a singular foot until she feels something solid beneath the sole of her foot and hears the creaking of old, sea salt-battered wood.

Her eyes open.

The dock is still there.

The rest of Euphony stumbles off the dock.

[agentstarkid]

AN ETERNAL LOVE BULLSHIT ✦ DR3

Based on this ask

✦ PAIRING: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ CHECKERED FLAG: 3.7K words (I tried to keep it short, oops)

✦ TRACK LIMITS: angst, self-doubt, crying, feelings of not being enough, heartbreak.

✦ MAY'S RADIO: I've had this on my drafts, ruminating on it for days, soooo I hope you guys like it. Vitto, Iza and Chloe are the real MVPs of this chapter! Queens uplifting another Queen 💅🏽💖 This was fun to write! Thank you so much nonnie for this idea! ilysm <3 p.s. can y'all spot the song references? 👀

This is set during Saudade. | Everything between "—" and italized are flashbacks.

< previous chapter | series masterlist | general masterlist | next chapter >

The end of April in California had days of clear skies, endless blue, and a gentle breeze carrying the sweet scent of blooming flowers. The sun shone warmly, casting a golden glow over everything it touched, yet the cheerful weather felt almost mocking to her current state.

Her guitar lay across her lap, repurposed as a makeshift table for the notebook where she hastily scribbled words, each one an attempt to capture the storm of emotions swirling within her. The grass beneath her was cool and grounding, but it did little to tether her to the present. Every line she wrote was a desperate attempt to process the pain, to make sense of the abrupt void he had left behind. 

Life moved on around her with an indifferent rhythm, but her mind was still stuck replaying the scenes in a Bahraini hotel room on a fateful Friday morning in March. She was stuck, a relic in a world that had already moved on, trapped in the shadow of what once was. The ache in her heart was a constant companion, a reminder that she was still right where he left her, struggling to find a way back to herself.

Her pen moved frantically across the pages, as if the act of writing could somehow release the torment inside her. But each word, each lyric, only seemed to root her more firmly in the past. The guitar beneath her fingers, once a source of joy and creativity, now felt like a conduit for her sorrow. She was lost in her own words, hoping that somewhere in the tangled mess of emotions, she might find a way to heal.

But amidst the ache, she found solace in the unwavering support of her friends. 

Since landing in Los Angeles, her friends had been her rock. When days of isolation had left her feeling like a shell of herself, Vitto and Andrew had intervened, offering her refuge in their home outside the city. Their house, tucked away from the relentless glare of cameras and the whirlwind of drama, had become a sanctuary. The quiet of their surroundings was a balm for her frayed nerves.

Baby Iza, their little bundle of joy, at almost 1 year old, was a constant source of comfort. The child's tiny hands and infectious giggles seemed to have an almost magical ability to lift her spirits. It was as if Izabele could sense her sadness and made it her mission to shower her with love and affection. 

With the sun casting gentle rays through the window, the child would toddle into the room with her tiny feet pattering softly on the floor. Her face, a picture of innocent determination, was often lit up by a bright smile. She would clutch a small toy in her chubby hands—a plush animal or a colorful block—and make a beeline for her godmother, as if to say, “Here, play with me. Everything will be okay.”

Sitting down beside her, Iza would arrange her toys with meticulous care, her eyes occasionally glancing up to gauge her mood. They would sit together in quiet companionship, the simple act of play bringing a semblance of peace.

As the night fell and the room grew dim, she would make her way to her aunt's side once more, but this time with a special gesture. She would carry one of her favorite teddy bears, its soft fur worn from countless hugs—she recognized it as the one that Daniel had gifted Iza when she was born. 

Her sleepy eyes would barely stay open, and the pacifier bobbing gently in her mouth gave her a serene, dreamlike appearance. She would approach her aunt with the bear in tow, offering it with the sincerity only a child can muster. The gesture, simple yet profound, was Iza’s way of offering comfort and reassurance. The irony wasn’t lost on her, as the comfort offered by the bear was tied to the person who had broken her heart.

Despite the tangled emotions that the bear represented, she’d accept the gesture with a quiet grace. Each night, she would clutch the teddy bear tightly in her arms as she lay in bed, she would close her eyes and allow the bear’s presence to soothe her. It was a small, ironic comfort, a connection to a past she was still grappling with. She never spoke of it to anyone, keeping this bittersweet detail to herself. 

Vitto and Andrew's kindness, along with Baby Iza’s innocent charm, and Fio and Danna’s constant facetime calls—and impromptu visits—, were her anchors, grounding her in a time of turbulence.

Rumors had started circulating about Daniel moving on with Heidi, emerging just two weeks after their breakup. As she heard whispers and saw the headlines, she felt a deep internal conflict. One part of her mind tried to dismiss the rumors, knowing all too well how the business thrived on gossip and sensationalism. She had been in this world long enough to recognize how quickly false narratives could spread and how little they sometimes reflected the truth.

Yet, another part of her, the part that had been wounded by every argument they’d ever had about their future, couldn’t silence the inner voice that screamed she was a fool. It was the same voice that had questioned every promise, every declaration of eternal love Daniel had made. How could someone profess to love her, to call her the love of their life—a million times—, to talk about rings and cradles, and then, almost as soon as it was over, move on to someone new?

But a single text changed her entire world.

The moment she received confirmation from Chloe that the rumors were true, a wave of crushing disappointment and pain washed over her. It felt as if the ground beneath her had given way, leaving her in a freefall of disbelief and heartache. The confirmation struck her like a physical blow, knocking the breath from her lungs and leaving her feeling hollow inside.

The betrayal was sharper than she could have ever imagined. Daniel, the person she had known better than herself, had indeed moved on after only two weeks. The image she had clung to, the person she had given the benefit of the doubt, shattered into a thousand irreparable pieces. How could someone who had claimed to love her so deeply and had spoken of a future together move on so swiftly? The realization was a bitter, choking pill to swallow.

Her heart ached with a profound sense of loss, not just of the relationship but of the person she thought Daniel was. The trust she had placed in him, the dreams they had shared, all felt like a cruel joke. She felt duped, as if she had been sold a "get-love-quick" scheme by someone who never intended to follow through on his promises. The sense of being deceived cut deeply, leaving a wound that seemed impossible to heal.

She sat there, gripping her pen tightly, her mind swirling with the betrayal she felt so deeply. Without a moment’s pause, her pen began to race across the pages of her notebook, pouring out the raw, unfiltered emotions she could no longer contain. The lyrics flowed from her as if they were the only way to make sense of the chaos within:

And ain't it funny

How you ran to her the second that we called it quits? 

And ain't it funny how you said you were friends? 

Now it sure as hell don't look like it 

You betrayed me 

And I know that you'll never feel sorry 

For the way I hurt, yeah 

You'd talk to her 

When we were together 

Loved you at your worst 

But that didn't matter 

It took you two weeks 

To go off and date her 

Guess you didn't cheat 

But you're still a traitor

With each line, she felt the searing pain of his betrayal more acutely. How could he have moved on so quickly? The words “two weeks” echoed in her mind like a relentless drumbeat, reminding her of how little time it had taken for him to replace her. The sense of being betrayed, of having her trust shattered, was almost unbearable. She had loved him at his worst, given him everything, and yet it had taken him mere days to discard their love and move on to someone new.

The realization that she was right, that he had been talking to her while they were still together added salt to the wound. It made every moment they had shared feel tainted, every promise he had made feel like a lie. The anger and hurt intertwined, fueling the lyrics that poured out of her. He might not have cheated in the traditional sense, but the emotional betrayal was just as devastating, if not more so. To her, he was a traitor, someone who had violated the sacred trust of their relationship.

The pen in her hand paused for the first time in days, the words unable to flow as freely as before. The grief was too raw, too overwhelming to articulate. She felt an intense, suffocating sadness, mixed with anger and a sense of foolishness for believing in him. Her eyes burned with unshed tears, and her chest tightened with the weight of unspoken emotions.

Her phone storage has been filled with voice notes for the past weeks, but the number has elevated exponentially since the news had hit. Her chat with her producer has been overflowing with “What do you think of this?”, demos shared between them back and forth. 

For moments, she was consumed by raw anger, her pen becoming a weapon as she furiously wrote songs that painted him as the villain he had become in her eyes. She felt the fierce determination to make him know—and if his treacherous heart allowed, to feel—her pain.

Each line dripped with venom and sorrow, a raw portrayal of the anguish he had inflicted upon her. The thought of him reading her words and realizing the depth of her suffering provided a fleeting sense of power and justice.

But after the anger came a deep, suffocating depression. The reality of his betrayal settled over her like a heavy, oppressive fog. Each day felt like a battle to simply get out of bed, and her once vibrant spirit seemed to wither under the weight of her grief. She found herself crying at the smallest things, her emotions a raw, open wound that refused to heal.

—

One night Vitto found her in bed, her cheeks tear-stained and her eyes red and swollen, looking every bit as miserable as she felt inside. Without a word, Vitto quickly gathered her in her arms, holding her tightly as the heart-shattering sobs began anew. The weight of her friend’s pain pressed heavily on Vitto’s heart, but she held her close, whispering kind and reassuring words, trying to contain the pieces of her shattered glass heart.

In a voice barely above a whisper, filled with desperation and heartbreak, she asked the questions that had been gnawing at her soul. “Why can't it be me for once, Vitto? Why can't someone choose me?” Her voice cracked with the weight of the pain she felt. “Is it so hard to love me? What's so wrong with me that no one has the will to stay?”

Vitto's heart ached at the sight of her friend so broken, so lost in her despair. She tightened her hold, pulling her closer as if she could shield her from the cruel thoughts that plagued her mind. “There's nothing wrong with you,” Vitto whispered back, her voice gentle but firm. “You are so easy to love, fofinha, and anyone who doesn't see that is a fool.” She prayed that her friend would see the truth in her words. “You deserve someone who sees you for the amazing person you are and who will never let you go.”

Vitto rocked her gently, smoothing her hair and murmuring softly. “You’re strong,” she whispered. “Stronger than you know. You’ll get through this, one step at a time. You have us, and we’re not going anywhere.”

That night, after the tears had subsided, she found herself sitting on the windowsill, staring out into the vast, indifferent sky. The weight of her grief pressed down on her chest as she gazed at the stars, feeling more alone than ever. 

In the quiet darkness, she whispered her desperate plea to any entity that might be listening. She wasn’t asking for fame or fortune, but for something much simpler and infinitely more precious: love. A love that wasn’t for the artist she became on stage or the persona she put on for the cameras, but for her—the real her, with all her flaws, insecurities, and hidden depths.

She was on her knees, metaphorically, begging for someone to change her fate, to alter the prophecy that seemed to doom her to be always left behind. Why couldn’t someone love her as fiercely as she loved them—or even harder?. 

The question lingered in the air, a painful echo of her deepest fears. She longed for someone who would choose her, who wouldn’t toss her aside once the initial novelty wore off and someone else, shiny and new, came along.

The night air was cool against her skin, a stark contrast to the burning ache inside her. She closed her eyes, letting the silent tears fall, each one a small release of the pain she carried. 

She wasn’t asking for much, just someone who would love her, not for what she represented, but for who she truly was. Someone who would see her, really see her, and still choose to stay. The silence of the night offered no answers, but she hoped—prayed—that somewhere, someone would hear her and bring her the love she so desperately craved. The stars offered no answers, but in the quiet of the night, she found a sliver of solace in the act of voicing her deepest wish.

—

The phone rang late in the evening, its sound piercing the quiet of the room. She hesitated for a moment, glancing at the screen. Chloe's name flashed across it, and a part of her almost didn’t want to pick up. But Chloe had been there for her in ways she hadn’t expected, turning from an acquaintance into one of her closest friends. With a deep breath, she answered.

“Hey,” she said softly, trying to mask the exhaustion in her voice.

“Hey, you,” Chloe replied, her tone gentle, almost cautious. “I just wanted to check in on you. How are you holding up?”

There was a brief silence, the kind that stretches out when you’re trying to find the right words to explain a pain that feels impossible to describe. “I’m… surviving, I guess. It’s been hard,” she admitted, her voice wavering.

Chloe sighed on the other end, a mix of empathy and frustration evident in her breath. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. And I hate that I had to be the one to confirm it. You deserve so much better.” 

Her heart ached at the sincerity in Chloe’s words. “I don’t even know what hurts more—the fact that he moved on so quickly, or that I still can’t hate him for it. I feel like such an idiot, holding on to the person I thought he was.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Chloe reassured her. “You loved him, and you believed in him. There’s nothing wrong with that. But you have to remember that this isn’t about you, it’s about him and his inability to recognize what he had.”

A sad smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Thank you. It’s just… I keep asking myself how someone can move on so quickly. I thought what we had was real. We talked about a future, Chloe. The farm, rings, babies, all of it. And then, two weeks after we break up, he’s with someone else? It just… it doesn’t make sense.” she said, her voice cracking. “How could he say all those things to me, make all those promises, and then just... move on? Like I never mattered.”

Chloe hesitated, knowing that what she had to say might sting, but also feeling that honesty was necessary. “I know, and I wish I had the right words to make it better. I don’t understand it either. But people… they’re complicated, and sometimes they don’t even realize the damage they’re causing until it’s too late. Sometimes-” she let out a sigh, “Sometimes people make decisions that don’t make any sense, that hurt the ones they’re supposed to care about the most. But that’s on him, not you. You’re allowed to grieve, to be angry, to feel everything you’re feeling.”

“Do you think he ever really loved me?” The question slipped out before she could stop it, her voice barely above a whisper. It was a question that had haunted her since the confirmation of Daniel’s new relationship, and now it hung in the air between them, heavy and loaded with vulnerability.

Chloe paused, her heart aching for her friend. “I think… I think he loved you in the way he knew how, but maybe that wasn’t the way you deserved to be loved. And that’s not your fault. It’s his loss, really. You gave him everything, and he’s the one who couldn’t appreciate it.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she fought them back. “It just hurts so much, you know? I keep thinking that if I had done something differently, if I had been better, maybe things would have turned out differently.”

“Don’t do that to yourself,” Chloe said firmly. “You did nothing wrong. You were yourself, and that should have been enough. He’s the one who couldn’t see what he had in front of him. But I see you, and so do the people who really care about you. You’re not alone in this.”

The girl swallowed the lump in her throat, grateful for Chloe’s words, for her friendship. “Thank you, Chloe. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m here for you, no matter what,” Chloe replied warmly. 

As the conversation between the girl and Chloe lingered, an uncomfortable question bubbled up within her. She hesitated, biting her lip before finally asking, “Chloe, how is Heidi? Is she… nice? She looks like she is.”

Chloe paused on the other end, considering her words carefully. “She is nice,” she admitted softly. “She’s kind and sweet, and she seems like a good person.”

The girl swallowed hard, a mix of emotions swirling in her chest. “I figured as much,” she said, her voice tinged with a quiet resignation. “At the beginning, I wanted to tear her apart, you know? I wanted to pick out every flaw she had, convince myself she wasn’t good enough. But I couldn’t do that… because she just looks so nice and kind. It’s almost like it made everything worse, knowing that I couldn’t even hate her.”

Chloe sighed, understanding the conflict in her friend’s heart. “It’s natural to feel that way, to want to protect yourself by finding reasons to dislike her. But you’re also showing so much strength by acknowledging that she’s not the enemy. It’s okay to feel conflicted.”

The girl nodded, though her throat tightened. “I just wish it didn’t hurt so much, Chloe. I wish I could be happy for him, for them. But it’s hard when it feels like I’ve been discarded, replaced by someone who seems perfect in every way.”

“Listen,” Chloe said, her voice firm yet gentle, “you’re human, and it’s okay to feel hurt and conflicted. But don’t let those feelings define you. You’re more than what he made you feel, and you deserve someone who will see all of you—the good, the bad, and everything in between”

“I know,” she whispered, though the knowledge didn’t make the pain any easier to bear. “It’s just hard to accept sometimes.”

“It is,” Chloe agreed. “But you’ll get there. One step at a time. And remember, just because she’s nice doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. You’re allowed to grieve what you’ve lost, even if it’s complicated.”

—

Slowly, the depression began to give way to a semblance of acceptance—or something that resembled it. It wasn’t forgiveness, nor was it forgetting, but a grudging acknowledgment that clinging to the pain and anger would only prolong her agony.

She continued to write, but the tone of her lyrics shifted. They were still tinged with sadness and loss, but there was also a hint of desperation and sometimes hope.

We broke up a month ago

Your friends are mine, you know, I know

You've moved on, found someone new

One more girl who brings out the better in you.

[...]

And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen?

An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean

Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me?

And now I'm pickin' her apart

Like cuttin' her down will make you miss my wretched heart

But she's beautiful, she looks kind

She probably gives you butterflies.

[...]

I hope you're happy

I wish you all the best, really

Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me

And think of me fondly when your hands are on her

I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.

Acceptance came in small, painful increments. It was in the quiet moments when Baby Iza’s tiny hand rested on her cheek, or when Vitto and Andrew’s unwavering support reminded her that she was not alone. It was in the act of writing itself, where she could pour out her heart and begin to untangle the threads of grief and loss.

As she sat on the grass, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows around her, she realized that while Daniel’s betrayal had broken her, it had not destroyed her. She would rebuild herself, piece by piece, word by word, until she was whole again. Despite everything, she was still standing.

Through the anger, the depression, and the acceptance, she learned that she had the strength to endure. The scars from this heartbreak would always be there, but they would also be a testament to her resilience and her capacity to heal. And in those moments of writing, she knew she would emerge from this experience stronger, wiser, and ready to embrace whatever the future held.

[fonulyn]

so since I've now posted all of my @yearoftheotpevent fics, I figured I'd make one compilation post of them. here's my year of nivannedy!

January: good to be prepared

Leon gets stuck in a snow storm when his car breaks down, and a handsome stranger saves him from the roadside. Of course they hit it off, but only later they realize they actually do know of each other.

February: 'cause you know the love we have is always gonna be

Finally Piers and Leon get married, surrounded by their loved ones, in their very own home. It's been a long road, they've deserved their happy ending.

March: at the shore of the unknown

The end of the world comes quietly, almost secretly, despite them fighting it all these years. But even if the world is ending, Leon and Piers find each other, and their story is only beginning.

April: I crave therefore I am

Piers has been half in love with Leon for as long as he can remember, but no matter how much he's pining, he's not going to be the kind of a dick who tries to come between Leon's current relationship. Except that relationship is not exactly as real as he's been lead to believe.

May: as long as you'll have me

Leon gets infected on a mission, and although there is a known cure, the cure fucking sucks. At least, after Leon alarms him with a few incoherent texts, Piers is there to help him through the worst of it.

June: you're a dream

Piers has been dreaming of his soulmate ever since he was eleven years old, and not even the continuous stream of monsters can keep him from finding whoever that is. Of course, nothing in life can ever be that simple.

July: that heaven in your eyes

Piers and Leon have some honeymoon fun by the lake. It's exactly what they wanted.

August: light in the darkest place

Leon and Piers grew up together, and when at twenty-one they both got a job at the RPD they thought it was a giant stroke of luck. They had no idea their first day was going to be one hell of a long day.

September: all the tears and the fears and the lies and the cries of the past

Krauser kidnaps Leon on Wesker’s orders to use as bait. Things get messy.

October: before I even knew your name

Leon gets an accidental text sent into the wrong number and it ends up changing his life for the better. They might both suck at flirting, especially through text, but that doesn't matter when inexplicably they're still into each other.

November: right from the start

Leon gets some unexpected backup on his rogue mission in the Eastern Slav Republic. Later, he might just have to thank Chris for sending Piers in. Especially as he learns he and Piers work together well in more ways than one.

December: a merry little christmas (make the yuletide gay)

Piers and Leon and their first holidays as a married couple in their own home. Of course with a visit from the Redfields.

I am both incredibly content that I managed to write something for all of the months (even though two of these fics are still technically unfinished, for the Damnation au I haven't posted the last chapter and for the RE2 au I still need to write the rest of it) and really really happy with how they turned out :3

[wikiangela]

✨ 2023 writing round-up ✨

tagged by @exhuastedpigeon <3

I posted 22 fics this year (including the multi-chapter fic I started last december) and 21 of those were 911, and 20 were buddie lol the very first fic was the ending of my sambucky era (or a pause, I might go back who knows) and then buddie fully took over

idk what it was about this year, bc I've been writing buddie since march 2021, but now it's like the only thing I write haha

putting all the fics i've written this year under the cut bc it got loooong haha - clearly, march this year was big for me, so many fics haha

January

June 14th, 2025 (I've been waiting for you my whole life) Sambucky, T, 3.5k

A year after getting engaged, Sam and Bucky get married. A little oneshot that takes place after the events of my fic "sounds like an angel (he might be a demon)".

___

March

The one with groceries and bad coffee buddie, G, 1.3k

It’s fucking coffee, of all things, that finally does it. Or, Buck buys Eddie's favorite brand of coffee for his loft, and Eddie's brain short-circuits, leading to a realization.

Fine buddie, 1.6k

Eddie’s foot feels heavy on the gas pedal, while his hands grip the steering wheel tightly, to prevent them from shaking. He’s driving almost on autopilot, while trying his best to compartmentalize and focus on just getting to the hospital, trying not to think about Buck- about what’s happening in the back of the ambulance right now. Or, after the drive to the hospital after Buck's hit by lightning, Eddie loses it. Sort of 6x10 coda.

don't know what I'd do if your tomorrow never came buddie, 1.9k

He can’t help but think that this is some kind of sick joke from the universe, which he doesn’t believe but he knows Buck would. “The universe is screaming at you and you refuse to listen” is what Buck said once, it feels like a lifetime ago. He didn't believe it, then, either. And now the universe is mocking Eddie, having him have to tell their kid about Buck, just like Buck had to tell him about the shooting. Eddie doesn’t know how Buck did it, how he had the strength, because he’s on the verge of breaking down and shattering into a million little pieces. Or, Eddie goes home to tell Christopher about Buck getting hurt.

we got time (but we're only human) buddie, 1.6k

“We got time, Eds.” Buck chuckles. “Not enough.” Eddie’s voice breaks a little. Buck squeezes his hand. “We almost ran out of time, and I can’t just wait until it happens again, Buck. Besides, life is short. We’ll never really have enough time, because a lifetime with you wouldn’t be enough." Or, Buck wakes up from his coma, and Eddie, done with wasting time, confesses his feelings.

I can't love you any more (than I do now) buddie, G, 2.6k

Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating and kind of living together. Neither acknowledges it, until Eddie finally does.

I don't mind a detour (as long as I still get to be yours) buddie, G, 1.4k

Buck falls asleep on Eddie's couch. Eddie has feelings about it.

___

April

me and you only equals love buddie, E, 6.6k

“What would you say,” Eddie brings one of his hands to Buck’s face, traces his jaw, feather-light, barely there touch, and hears Buck take a shaky breath, eyes wide with something like awe not leaving Eddie’s face, “if I wanted to kiss you? Just hypothetically.” OR, Eddie is horny and in love, and after the poker date, he finally kisses Buck - and things unfold from there. aka my first smut lol

you're the one I want buddie, G, 1.4k

“You know there’s only one person I’m interested in.” “And who might that be?” Buck leans back against the counter with a goofy grin, and Eddie wants to just go over there and kiss him. “Just my best friend I’m kind of hopelessly in love with.” Eddie shrugs, and enjoys seeing how Buck’s whole face gets red. OR, no one knows that Eddie and Buck are dating, Pepa tries to set Eddie up on dates, and Buck finds it amusing.

kiss it better buddie, G, 1.5k

Buck burns his tongue, Eddie makes a joke, and everything changes.

stuck with each other buddie, G, 2.5k

Buck's new fixation is buying unnecessary kitchen gadgets that end up in Eddie's kitchen, they all cook together, and Eddie can't keep his feelings in check.

I'm free in salt water (embrace the deep end, leave everything) maddie fic, 612 words

Sobbing, Maddie got up and, fully clothed, stepped into the ocean. Cold water was splattering against her, as she kept walking, fighting against the waves that tried to push her out. She was determined. It wasn’t her first attempt at killing herself, but it would be the first time she would be successful. OR, What was going through Maddie's mind as she walks into the ocean? (wrote this one when i was bored in class in college about a year before I posted this and idk if I like it tbh but it's posted haha)

___

May

I'd marry you with paper rings  buddie, G, 3.4k

“If we’re not married by the time we’re, like, forty, we should just marry each other.” he chuckles, and downs the rest of his beer. And Eddie… Eddie knows it’s a joke. Obviously. It can’t be anything but. But still, it does something to him. He’s thought about it, fantasized about it, but hearing it from Buck, even jokingly… “Why wait?” his tone is also teasing. He can play it off as a joke, while still looking for Buck’s reaction, for any indication about how he feels. (...) “Let’s just do it now and get it over with.” Or, Buck makes a joke that leads to an unplanned marriage proposal.

Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life? buddie, G, 2.9k

Buck spends time with Eddie and Chris, and for some reason finds himself incapable of telling Natalia, which leads to some realizations.

what a mighty good man  buddie, G, 3.4k

Buck loses his phone, and Eddie calls him to help him find it - but he does not expect the ringtone Buck has set for him.

___

June

me, you, our kid and a dog buddie, G, 4.7k

Buck and Chris try to convince Eddie to get a dog, while not even living together. It leads to more unexpected changes than Eddie could ever imagine.

___

July

you been looking for love (let me show you how it's done) buddie, E, 12.2k

“Are you-” he frowns, the confusion somehow winning with the urge to just lean in and kiss him so thoroughly he’ll forget about any other kiss he might’ve shared with any dates. “Are you doing all this on purpose?” “Doing what?” Eddie tilts his head, licks his lips, and – Buck’s almost a hundred percent sure – drops his gaze to Buck’s lips for a second. “Eddie.” Buck takes a deep breath, and wants so badly to kiss the smirk off of Eddie’s face. “Please.” “What for?” “You’re driving me insane.” he whispers, nails digging into his palms to prevent himself from reaching out. But Eddie’s thigh is pressed against his, and somehow his hand is on Buck’s knee now, and Eddie’s looking at him in such a way, that it makes Buck hot all over – or, hotter, his palms are sweating, actually. “And I feel like you are doing it on purpose.” or, Eddie is a tease, Buck is horny and jealous of Eddie dating, and a regular evening takes an unexpected turn.

___

August

For a holiday (and forevermore) buddie, M, 95k, 30 chapters

Eddie's sick of personal, intrusive questions about his love life whenever he visits his family, so he starts bringing Buck for the holidays as his (fake) boyfriend. He only wants to shut them up, and doesn't expect that the small crush he has on his best friend could actually turn into something more... (my baby fake dating holiday fic <3)

I could get lost in the feelings (just say that you belong to me) buddie, E, 15k

“Wait, wha- how- how do you feel about me?” Buck asks, his voice quiet and almost hesitant. “Buck, really? Isn’t it obvious? Do I have to spell it out for you?” Eddie sighs, eyes finally locking with Buck’s. “I think I’d like you to.” he whispers, eyes wide. “Just so I- just so I’m sure.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Eddie mutters, and then, frustrated and sad, and angry, he takes the few steps separating him from Buck, grabs his face with both hands, and crashes their lips together. Or, Buck's going on a date, Eddie's so jealous he finally snaps and reveals his feelings, which leads to a passionate evening in Buck's kitchen. aka the possessive smut which might be one of my fave fics ever haha

___

September

baby, you drive me wild buddie, E, 10.9k

He places his left hand on Buck’s thigh now, and Buck’s smirk just grows. “Eddie, I’m driving.” he says mock-scolding, but he chuckles breathily, as Eddie shifts in his seat, angling more towards Buck, taking his right hand and very lightly moving it along Buck’s inner thigh, following the seam of his jeans, until he gets to his dick. “Pull over, then.” he hears his own hoarse voice, as his hand grips Buck’s also already hard dick, getting a gasp out of him, his left hand still on Buck’s thigh digging its fingers into the leg. He really doesn’t think he can wait until they get home. “Eddie.” Buck shakes his head slightly, eyes not leaving the road. “We’re not gonna have sex on the side of the road.” Or, Buck and Eddie have car sex on the side of the road. one of my absolute favorite fics I've written and i think my fave smut ngl haha

___

October

the next best thing buddie, E, 9k

And, look, Eddie could say that it’s all good, delete the message, and pretend it never happened. Except, the more he looks, the more turned on he gets, and his hand starts stroking his dick through the fabric, and- and his mind is clouded by arousal and jealousy, and such strong feeling of possessive want, he’s not thinking when he throws the covers away, takes a picture of his bulge, cock hard and leaking, a wet spot visible on his underwear, and sends it to Buck in response, with a text that says ‘no worries, I liked it. fuck, I want that gorgeous cock all to myself’. It’s so unlike him, he’d never even taken a nude picture before now, but- but this is Buck, who makes some sort of crazy possessive beast roar to life in his chest, and has his body screaming at him to do something, anything to get Buck’s attention on him, instead of whoever the hell was on the receiving end of the messages leading to that one. ‘HOLY SHIT’ is what he gets back, and not even two seconds later, Buck’s calling him. Or, Buck accidentally sends a nude and a spicy text to Eddie - things escalate from there.

___

November

I wanna spend my forever like that buddie, G, 8.6k

Eddie catches a cold and stubbornly denies he's sick, while a fondly exasperated Buck is trying to take care of him.

____

Writing Round-Up: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones your most excited about.

no pressure tags: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @daffi-990 @loserdiaz @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks @housewifebuck @underwater-ninja-13 @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1 @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @thewolvesof1998 @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @pirrusstuff @fortheloveofbuddie

[yvesdot]

yves.’S 2021 YEAR IN REVIEW

(2018) (2019) (2020)

(view the image in highest quality here!)

A look at something I wrote every month in 2021. All of the above excerpts can be read in order at this link, and I've included a few notes below on the pieces and months in question. It feels as though I spent so much of my time writing for Patreon and editing Forest Castles and so on, but there was still a lot of fresh content every single month!

JANUARY - In Her Arms (unpublished)

COVID's been pretty bad, hasn't it? I think it's been pretty bad. Wrote this piece almost a year ago now to deal with it, and have workshopped it several times since. Eventually I'll get a version I'm happy with, and then you'll see it published!

FEBRUARY - KAY Valentine's Drabble 2 (read online)

I made sure to come up with something to post for Valentine's Day 2021-- a cute little moment between Kay/Atlas, and then Constantine/Julia. Still warms my heart to read over this... that transphobic dad of Kay's isn't always completely useless!

MARCH - mortālēs (unpublished)

I've had a lot of ideas for erotica this year (all excerpts here are SFW!) but haven't managed to post them yet-- I'd probably put them on a separate NSFW writing blog, as I've mentioned before. Well, here's one, inspired by my sudden apparent interest in historical m/f.

APRIL - Silvia (unpublished)

While in the car on the way to a more wintry setting, I listened through the entire Miike Snow self-titled album, and was struck by a sudden intrigue caused by this song. Here was something out of the box, intense, explosive in its unrequited emotion. I could see it all playing out in my head, so clearly I knew I was coming up with a 'true' narrative totally disconnected from the original... but, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't set it to paper. I'm going to let it percolate.

MAY - Forest Castles (first two chapters)

Again, I did edit FC year-round, so I only displayed it here in months where I honestly couldn't find any other new writing (probably hiding in the depths of my Drive.) This was a fun scene to write, though who knows if it'll survive later cuts.

JUNE - THE LOVER RISES FROM THE ABYSS・恋人が黄泉から生えてくる (read online)

I wrote this flash piece in either early June or late May, and then I was stuck revising it for quite a while. You can read about the process of that on Patreon! I worried over it until I felt it couldn't be worried over one second more... and then I edited it as I posted it on Tumblr ^__^

JULY - Something Weird I Heard About Rebecca (available in BLOOD&BREATH zine)

I wrote this so long ago! And, honestly, I expected to spend even longer editing and submitting it, but when the Blood & Breath submission form came around, I knew it was perfect. Preorder the LGBT vampire zine before January 5th to read the story in beautiful, physical form!

AUGUST - Forest Castles (first two chapters)

Day One Hundred And Seventeen Billion: Eliza Is Still Stuck In White Castle. To be fair, though, I remember when I thought I'd never reach White Castle! I hit quite a block around here, which I am still unsnarling, and I like that I've chosen to lean much harder into Eliza's princess nature.

SEPTEMBER - WTWBingo drabbles (read online)

Oh, God, what a timesuck! In addition to The Death of The Author (more shortly), in joining the WTWBingo event, I found myself tormented by hundreds of ideas for drabbles! Thanks so much to the WTW folks for inspiring me to write 10,000 words of these stories.

OCTOBER - The Death of the Author (read online)

I love Halloween. I love Halloween writing, and I love Halloween Episodes. More than all of that, though, I love murder mysteries, and so I am thrilled to present to you, with no further context whatsoever, The Death of the Author.

NOVEMBER - The Proposal (unpublished)

More erotica, with an eerie amount of people waiting on it. Very, very simple romcom MILF nonsense, which apparently is not only a thing I can write but something other people might want to read. I absolutely loved this piece, and it was responsible for my incredible 8K start on Day One of NaNo.

DECEMBER - Exhaustively (read online)

Exhaustively's had a big edit, and I'm now formatting it to release in limited edition paperbacks, in honor of beloved Archivist Max @goose-books! I highly recommend taking a look at it in this graphic (instead of just in the transcribed version) for full formatting joy. Also, I wrote 10,000 words in a day... but that didn't make it in here.

Man, was I prolific this year! I really enjoyed my writing, and I explored all sorts of artistic nooks and crannies (as Patrons especially will appreciate, what with all the experiments and behind-the-scenes things posted to Patreon this year. Fun Patreon surprise coming for free shortly...)

I also spent a lot of time on non-writing writing things, such Exhaustively's formatting, and, well, this Year in Review! I tried to show myself how much of my work wasn't just sitting and writing but reading and thinking and promoting and posting, and I think it worked... though I do miss just-plain-writing this week, as I wrap up all these New Yearly loose ends.

This upcoming year, I want to work more steadily on Forest Castles. It's hard to fit in with all my other priorities, especially when I don't have too much time to write a day. Do I need to set aside an amount of time daily to get it done, or is it better to dedicate full days? That's something I am still exploring.

Finally, this year I began using 4thewords, and I quite like it! Makes writing addictive and much more naturally fun. If you'd like to join up, feel free to DM me any questions, and my referral code is LOMDY47116.

And please, if you feel inspired by this post, make your own! That links to my template, which shouldn't be too painful to use. Just hop in there and change my name to yours, and tag me when you're done so that I can see it!

As always, you can read all of my posted writing here, and if you’d like to support me, I have both a ko-fi for one-time donations and a Patreon for exclusive monthly content. Thanks for being here this year! It's been a big one for so many reasons, and I'm so grateful to have had you along. Have a wonderful 2022, and I'll see you then.

[psiscans]

I've been following you guys for about a year and I've been wondering... How did PSI Scans come to be? What made the you decide to start the group? Do you still have all the members you started out with?... Etc. I'd just like to know more about the history behind your group, if you're ok with talking about it.

Thank you so much for asking!

We've just passed the two year mark from when this group was first created- so here's a timeline of PSI Scans history under the break:

Late October, 2015: eyfey received an anonymous message saying:

"A small (and by small i mean BIG) part of me wants you to translate saiki kusuo cause nobody's donating for it on spinyback to get translated (no i don't have the money to donate either) but that be dependent on whether YOU want to do it"

SpinyBackTeam was the group scanlating Saiki at the time, but it had been months since their last release, and no one was sure when the next release was coming out, if ever.

eyfey said they'd be on board to do translations if someone else would handle redrawing/typesetting.

October 27th, 2015Shortly after that message, seirui and milaza contacted eyfey, and the three of them formed a team and began working on chapters.

Sadly neither seirui or milaza stayed around past the first couple releases- leaving eyfey as the only founding member who's still currently working on the scanlations. Without seirui and milaza though, this group never would've been created and we never would've made it to where we are today

Late November, 2015At some point as we were working on the chapters, Spinyback re-did their website and ended up removing Saiki completely. We thought they had dropped the series for sure at this point, so we kept working at our slow slow pace.

December 9th, 2015Before we could make our first release, SpinyBack released a new chapter out of the blue! We has 4 chapters translated at this point and weren't sure whether or not to continue with the scanlation or just give up and let SpinyBack handle it... We decided to wait and see if they would start updating more regularly.

December 24th, 2015 Just for fun, eyfey solo'd chapter 33 for a special christmas release. (SpinyBack still hadn't released any new chapters since the one at the beginning of the month)

December 29th, 2015Spannersq joined the team to help with cleaning! (and did basically all the cleans for - Spannersq is still on the team today!)

SpinyBack still hadn't released any new chapters, so we decided to just go ahead and do it ourselves. (I still regret not messaging SpinyBack about it though. It didn't occur to me at the time, but it hindsight it was pretty rude to just start on a project someone else was already working on... we just desperately wanted people to be able to read more of this amazing manga.)

December 31st, 2015This was the day Spannersq came up with the name PSI Scans for our group! With a name we were finally ready to release some chapters!

Janurary 5th, 2016Our first official release! After 3 months of uncertainty, we finally released chapter 31~ ...in pretty poor quality. At this time, we were using low quality magazine scans as our raws and no one on the team really had any experience with cleaning or redraws.

Luckily! Shortly after our release, Otafreek joined us: bringing high-res raws and informative typesetting/cleaning guides, causing the quality of our scans to skyrocket. Otafreek also had raws for volume 0, so we were able to go back and translate those chapters as well.

...and that's not all! We also got another new member that day: Snazzyhelmet! Who joined as a translator!

Otafreek only stuck around for a chapter or so, but Snazzyhelmet has been doing translations ever since and is still one of our current active translators!

January 15th, 2016We released the first chapter of volume 0: our first high quality chapter!

March 26th, 2016No new chapters yet... eyfey and snazzyhelmet had been keeping up with translations (we were already done with vol0 and about 6 chapters into vol4) but unfortunately life had gotten busy for both Spannersq and Otafreek. Spannersq ended up taking a break for about a month, and Otafreek retired completely. In their absense eyfey took over typesetting, purchasing/scanning raws, and cleaning/redrawing.

March 28th, 2016We released the 2nd chapter of vol0! This was also the end of month long gaps between releases.

May 2nd, 2016The Saiki anime was announced! Spannersq was back cleaning at full speed and we'd been keeping up a steady release speed (about one chapter per week)

May 7th, 2016Le joined the team as our new typsetter, and took care of typesetting for most of the chapters in volume 4 + the first half of vol5 before retiring~

May 15th, 2016As we were getting close to the end of vol4, we decided to go back and re-do the first couple chapters of vol4 before starting on vol5 - it meant a few more weeks without "new" chapters, but this way we could have decent quality versions of all our releases.

This was also the day a Meho7 very generously donated raws for vol 7-8~

May 20th, 2016Misterquire joined as a redrawer - providing us with beautiful beautiful redraws for many months, but eventually retiring ;v;

July 4th, 2016The anime was released! This doesn't really have anything to do with the manga scanlation, but hype was up and the number of Saiki fans was increasing! (the anime managed to overtake us pretty fast though, and soon it was releasing episodes of stuff we hadn't translated yet TvT )

June 8th-9th, 2016Sroa joined as our 2nd designated redrawer, and a day later LAR joined as a cleaner! (Sroa was a huge help with redraws for the next couple months until they retired, and LAR is still an active cleaner today!)

July 16th, 2016Teleport-teapot joined as our 3rd redrawer! They brought us beautiful, fast redraws for months until they eventually retired~

July 18th, 2016Nashi joined and took over typesetting for Le and has been creating beautiful typesets for us ever since~(Nashi is currently one of our two active typesetters.)

July 20th, 2016Kamo joined as a 3rd translator- working hard until January, when they had to take a 10 month hiatus for computer problems, but that hiatus has just ended and now Kamo is back as one of our current active translators!

August 3rd, 2016Six joined as a translator, stuck around for a handful of chapters, and disappeared as mysteriously as they came~

August 19th, 2016On this day: Sisselwolfgang and maou-shoujo joined the team as beautiful beautiful beautiful redrawers. This truly was a golden age of redrawing for PSI Scans TvT

Sisselwolfgang worked for a good long time before eventually needing to take a break from scanlation, but Maou-shoujo is still consistently creating godlike redraws with us today!

October 31st, 2016Dollyl joined the team as a second typesetter, bringing gorgeous speedy typesets to us all~ Dollyl is still typesetting today alongside Nashi as one of our 2 current active typesetters!

At this point, we'd also passed the one year mark for the group! In that first year, we'd made it all the way to chapter 65- meaning we finished about 45 chapters total, if you include vol0 + the one shots~

To compare that with the previous groups working on Saiki: DarkMurmur = 11 chapters per year (2 years to finish the first 22 chapters)SpinyBackTeam = 12 chapters per year (technically they only did 8 chapters, but their pace averaged out to about one chapter per month)

So we were working at a pretty good speed- especially considering that we didn't actually release anything for the first couple months, haha.

November 22nd-23rd, 2016Miyo-sai joined the team as a translator, and Toumikasa joined as a cleaner!

Miyo-sai stuck around and translated a handful of chapters before moving on in life, but Toumikasa is still working as one of our active cleaners today!

Dec 15, 2016Ichi joined the team as a redrawer! They did a number of redraws over the next couple months before going on indefinite hiatus~

January 1st 2017,We decided to make the switch from ouph to offu starting in vol 9- since the author released a chapter with it spelled out as OFFU in English. So long ouph~ You will be missed~

April 1st + 11th, 2017Ykun and Jeddle joined as a translators! Both of them are still translating with us today!

May 10th, 2017Rupali joined as a redrawer- by this point maou-shoujo was the only other active redrawer.

Rupali is still with the group today, but is on a sort of semi-hiatus while they're busy.

May 22nd, 2017sefway3 joined as a redrawer! They're one of our few current active redrawers!

June 16th, 2017We finally reached the last chapter that was featured in the anime ;v; (almost a year after the anime first aired)

July 22nd, 2017peaceful-waldeinsamkeit joined the team as a redrawer! Hooray!

September 4th, 2017vulpi111 joined as a cleaner! Hurrah!

September 10th, 2017femalecorpse joined as a redrawer! Huzzah!

Peaceful-waldeinsamkeit, vulpi111, and femalecorpse are all still active members of the team today~

And that brings us to where we are today! We've just passed the two year mark of when the group was founded, and we've just released our 142nd chapter (including oneshots + omake chapters).

It's also worth mentioning, there are many many more members not on this list that have joined and left our team over the years: Some only doing one or two chapters before moving on, some who have joined recently but haven't started working yet, and some who joined and then left without ever finishing their first chapter... 

Scanlating is hard work and it takes up a lot of time, plus most people who work on manga like this are also trying to balance school and/or jobs, so it takes a very dedicated person to be able to start scanlating and then stick with it. But even those who only finished one or two chapters before needing to retire were a huge help to getting us to where we are today! (but if I listed all of them this list would be way too long, so we're sticking to just the people who stuck around a little longer for now~)

But yeah! That's the history of this group!There's still a little over 100 chapters left to go, and more coming out every week, so it looks like we've still got at least another year at this rate before we catch up (though that could be much much sooner if we got more redrawers and translators...) But in any case, we'll keep doing our best to work hard until the day all of Saiki Kusuo has been translated into English!

Thank you all for reading!