#I've been in this fandom since 8th grade... And... let me tell you I'm not in 8th grade anymore. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mariasabanahabanabana · 1 year ago

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FUN FACT OF THE DAY ABT T.S: did you, Raza, guys, my people, know that Taylor Swift is an actual superhero? Cause she saved me

Or well, at least for me is...

For some time now I've been a fan of Taylor Swift or as I usually name her "la wera" (the Blondy) and over the years, because yes, I have been in the fandom for more than a year, I have heard on several occasions the phrase "actually, T.S has a song that explains it", but, (at least me) not so much the phrase "in fact Taylor Swift saved me", so... On this beautiful rainy winter dawn i come to tell you how "Reputation" saved my life...

And yeah, I'm sharing this now cause of the upcoming recording of Reputation and before someone comes to tell me "but how do you know?" Mijin (nickname that we also use in Mexico to refer to Taylor or Swifitie), It's a matter of dates, start doing the math... And probably when the album comes out I'll go into some kind of regression and feel a little unwell...

And well you prob will say: "Why should I care?" (I'm kinda defensive today, r?) And yeash, but this is my blog and if I want to publish a photo of a sausage or my story of surviving my blue period, I'm gonna do it, period. (Sorry for the rudeness, I swear I'm not like that most of the time. [guess so])

Anyway, as Bad Bunny would say, storytime my people.... Or something like that, I'm not a big fan of him....

Well you see, at the same time that Tay was being attacked by the media, fans and basically the "whole world", su servidora (me) wasn't having the best time either, I was in "secundaria", which in USA and Canada is highschool (or to be more specific, 7th-8th grade), so if hormones weren't enough of a problem, add massive hatred, Unrequited crush, two sexual assaults, bulliyng, a fight, a nearly broken ankle, cyber bullying and, as icing on the cake, multiple visits to mental hospitals for various mental and eating disorders 😀👍

Since it was a super dense year (in the bad sense of the word) I'll just give a quick context, but I think the above already makes the point.

Haters gonna hate¿?: private school + people from "high" economic strata + hegemonic white people + (I know this is going to sound like an exaggeration, but I swear it's true) ONLY NON-HEGEMONIC BRUNOWN GIRL= years of bullying - racist attacks - consecutive xenophobes.

And Yep, I'm now aware that I'd have defended myself by hitting, insulting or Go with a professor, but first and foremost, as I said, I was the only girl of colour in my class and one of the few in the school. (was mixed / coeducational, but before that it was male, so it was the most predominant gender), Therefore, hitting or verbally attacking others WAS NOT, NOR IS NOR WILL IT continue to be an option, Secondly, teachers in Mexico suck, not all of them, but most of them, and the ones I had to deal with were, and I went to a Private school, third and last, I was never taught to defend myself, because they (mom, granma, church and the Bible) said that attacking your neighbour (or whoever) was a sin and at that time religion had "some importance in my life", in fact I still find it difficult to defend myself....

Unrequited crush: In short, my crush fell in love with my friend, who knew about my feelings towards him, so with the massive hatred that I already carried, I was considered the "slut" from school, at the age of 14 💀💀💀

Sex assault: The first one was a bet that a WHITE girl made with her friend, it happened in the middle of English class and again I didn't do anything and apparently "nobody noticed" and if they did I don't think they wanted to get involved in a problem with the school - class slut

And the second was when I went to get my physics homework checked, Let's just say that wearing pants doesn't exempt you from being handled like fruit in a market. (It's my trauma, it's my story and I will make whatever jokes I want and Decide)

Bullying: I wasn't pretty, my Reputation was on the floor, they bothered me about my crush, I had some kind of accent, Not much to say about it.

Fight: To date this has been the PENDEJA (DUMB) reason to start a fight... A (ex) friend invited me to the Justin Bieber concert (you can see how old I am and this story is), but within an hour she canceled me for going with another friend (a friend who also bullied me [cancellation that I later found out was due to my bad image and the rumors that circulated about me]), then I don't know how or why but a friend that they both had in common detested me, so with the thing of the concert and my annoyance that my (ex) friend was going out with one of the many girls who bullied me, a group of girls told me that they would "make up" with me on the way out, and that was that.... They took me to the football field (the school was - it's enormous) that was at the other end of the exits and they gave me the beating of my life...

At this point you may be wondering, "but what abt your mom? what's wrong? Didn't she notice the bruises or what?" Look, An advantage - disadvantage of my skin colour is that bruises are hardly visible, so the bumps weren't visible, besides, my mother works, my grandma was her and her only function with me was to pick me up from school, feed me, "take care of me" and see that I did my homework... And my uncle - dad, well.... 🍺🍺🍺

Almost broken ankle: have you ever watched in those typical American series (e.g. Chicken Little) where everyone play dodgeball and end up throwing all the balls at one person, well, I'm the one. So in a game one of the "mean girls" (I'll call it that to shorten the term) threw a ball at my ankle when I was running and well, in those days I used to be prone to tripping.

(oigan nmmn que pinche experiencia tan qlra, ya hasta ando llorando por recordar esto, JAJAJAJAJAJA)

Cyber bullying: bullying, just like the blue sea and sky, is infinite... What I am trying to say is, that high school - puberty should not exist, as well as the access (permission) to social networks, at least during those years...

Hospital visits: okay and now what was arguably one of the hardest knocks I've ever had to go through.... Look guys, my grandma isn't the typical sweet and loving grandmother, I'd say (in my experience) that she's a mix of Ida (Malcolm in the Middle's grandmother) and Grandma from Encantó... However, OF ALL THE ADULTS, SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO REALIZED THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME, cause there came a point where I only slept, I didn't even take off my uniform or do my homework and if I did, I slept the rest of the time until night, the time when my most catholic side came out, because night after night I asked, not PRAY, IMPLORE God (if there's one or exists) to take me, because I couldn't go on, I didn't want to go on, I only wanted to fall asleep and never wake up... What a merciful being he is...

One night I couldn't sleep, apart from the anxiety I had I was also dealing with tooth decay, so, being the brightest person in the county, I took almost a whole box of ibuprofen 500mg and naaaaambre, Until that point I had not felt my heart beat so fast... Not even when I was in love, I went to the nursery, they checked me and well... There, everything was revealed, my cuts, my record of constant visits (as I was just looking for an excuse to leave early) and that I was clearly suffering from an overdose. After that morning I can't remember much of what happened in the next few hours - days....

The case, I ended up hospitalized for a month, When I returned to school I was known as "Hanna Baker", that's right, the one from the series, at this point I only hung out ( eat in the Playtime ) with 3 friends... As for my "multiple hospital visits", I asked my mum to do what she could to let me out to finish the year, as there was NO FU C K I N G WAY I was gonna repeat that grade.... So they (doctor's) "agreed", signing a responsive letter and that, plus two weeks before graduation I went back, returned to school and was again interned....

Now, que porongas (what the heck) does Taylor Swift have to do with all this?? Well you see, I had heard her music before, but I wasn't the graaan fan, but between my interventions and constant outings I heard her music, specifically Rep, cause it was the year she came back and I didn't really know who she was or what she was going through, but hearing the album made me feel connected to her, her lyrics, situation and feelings (once I translated them of course). Later I looked into what was going on with their massive cancellation and well, in that moment of loneliness I felt what I needed, to know that someone understood what I was "going through".

So, if it weren't for Rep, especially my holy, Give me strength in my worst moments, Trinity, "LWYMMD, I did something bad and Don't Blame me", I probably wouldn't be here, telling this or maybe I'd, but I'll still be stuck in that hole of depression.

So in a few possible days - months not only will Reputation be released, but it will also celebrate another year of life... yeah, my "me" from before, of course Was dying slowly and cruelly (literally) in that year, 2017, but one way or another she (I) managed to come back to life.

I might be 20, In legal terms, but, I died and came back to life and currently have been 6 years without being thaaaat bad, absolutely I still take my meds, go (try) to therapy, and have been hospitalized, but (for only god knows What occasion number) no blue period compares and I hope it never compares to what I go through....

And for that strength, courage and support that @taylorswift gave me, thank you so very , very, very, much... I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you for this... This second chance and reinvention

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spnfanficpond · 3 years ago

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Pond Diving - Imagineteamfreewill

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Meg

Age: 20s

Location: United States

URL: @imagineteamfreewill

Why did you choose your URL: I first started out structuring my stories as imagines, and the “Team Free Will” part was pretty obvious.

What inspired you to become a writer: Reading Supernatural fanfiction inspired me to get back into writing, but I’ve always enjoyed it. My mom likes to talk about how when I was in Kindergarten, I drew a picture about how I wanted to be an author and now I write in my free time.

How long have you been writing: According to tumblr, I’ve been writing fanfiction since 2014, but I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I’m a music teacher, so I sing and play piano, and I’ve played a bit of cello and tenor saxophone as well. I love movies, baking, sleeping, and a few video games.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I joined sometime around Season 8 or 9, I think. I don’t really remember!

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I really enjoy Marvel and I’ve read a lot of Marvel fics, but I don’t write for them. I like a lot of TV shows (New Girl, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, Outlander, etc), but I wouldn’t consider myself part of the fandom.

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I love to write poetry. I had a poetry blog at truenorth-ink a while ago, but I haven’t updated it recently at all. Most of my poems aren’t published or posted anywhere.

Favorite published author: I love some of the early series by Rick Riordan and I also really enjoy poetry by Nikita Gill and Atticus. Lately, I've really been getting into Leigh Bardugo's books.

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: I think "East" by Edith Pattou really affected me! I read it when I was in 6th-8th grade and I think about it often. I think it's something that really stuck with me and got me interested in fantasy books so much. I read it at least once a year.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): I love angsty stuff, and most of the time I prefer it when it has some fluff mixed in. Straight fluff is often hard for me to read because I need something that’s more realistic for my own life and point of view. I also really like whump, but that can be a lot sometimes so it depends on my mood.

Favorite piece of your own writing: I don’t know if I have a favorite, but I loved writing Back to the Start (my mermaid series) and The Switch (a canon-divergent apocalyptic Reader x Sam series). Right now, I'm really enjoying my Consort series (a Goddess!Reader x Dean series). Creating my own rules in my own little universes is one of my favorite things to do, especially since I can’t always do whatever I want in real life.

Most underrated fic you have written: Empire. I loved getting to write Boyking!Sam because it was so different from my normal Sam stories and I did a lot of research for it. I’m pretty proud that the story never got too bloody or gory, too, so if you want some Boyking!Sam that’s not drenched in blood (for lack of a better term), I’m your girl!

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Probably Back to the Start or The Switch. I think those two series would be amazing to see with J2, the rest of the cast/characters I included, and special effects! There’s so much I’d want to explore with both of them that I didn’t put into the series.

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): @luci-in-trenchcoats, @sunlightdances, @supernaturalfreewill, @lipstickandwhiskey, @smol-and-grumpy, @percywinchester27, and @kaz2y5-imagines

Favorite fic from another writer: I don’t think I could pick just one, but I’ve read all of @sunlightdances Dean fics multiple times. Her works got me through some pretty sucky times in my life and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of her writing! I’ve also been reading her Bucky fics recently and it’s made me love Marvel fics even more than before!

Favorite character to write: Sam Winchester

Favorite Pairing to write: Reader x Sam (Reader x Dean is a close second)

Least favorite character to write (and why): I don’t like to write for Crowley or Gabriel. Gadreel is hard for me even though I can do it, but I don’t understand Crowley or Gabriel’s personalities at all because they’re literally so far away from mine.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? No, although @lipstickandwhiskey and @kaz2y5-imagines really encouraged me in my writing!

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I would love to write a non-Supernatural work of fiction to publish, but that’s a long way off.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Oh Lord, I have so many! I have at least four series and two one shots in the works right now. I've also got over 100 one shots/series plotlines written out in the notes on my phone and various Google Docs.

What are you currently working on? I’m currently working on a Cinderella series, my Underworld series, my Puer Rex series, my Consort series, an Author!Sam fic, and an Author!Dean fic. I also write stories for my Words series now and again.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Reading other people’s work. The intense storylines of @luci-in-trenchcoats ’s fics have gotten me to be more bold with my writing and the emotions and description in @supernaturalfreewill’s works have inspired me to let my work have more feeling.

Best writing advice you've been given: Not necessarily writing advice, but I was once told that anything worth doing is worth doing at least a little bit every day. Think about it—if you wrote even just five minutes a day, how much better will you get over the course of a month? A year?

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Repetition of words and commas. So many commas and so many uses of the same word over and over again. It’s a hard balance between using the word and using synonyms without sounding like I’m sitting there googling synonyms for “said”. I also tend to spend a lot of time on things that I think are super important but aren’t really important in the long run. I’m wordy as hell and my writing would be dull if I didn’t edit it as thoroughly as I do.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? A lot of times I have these ideas that I think would make a great series but I don’t think through them, so planning out the plot of a series (or even a standalone fic) beforehand is something I struggle with.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I would love to write more fics that have the characters dealing with severe mental disorders or that take place in a mental hospital, but I’m afraid that I’ll portray something wrong and solidify harmful stereotypes about what it’s like to deal with those things.

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, just wanting to write things that I enjoy. Sometimes I get sick of reading other peoples’ stuff since it’s not exactly what I want, so I just write my own!

How do you deal with self doubt: Understand that sometimes it happens. You’ll doubt yourself—everybody does. If I’m doubting myself or my writing, I’ll take a break until I remember why I write. Then I’ll remember that yeah, writing for an audience is fun, but I write because I have cool ideas I want to explore, not because I need the attention or love of strangers. Lastly, I’ll reread my old fics, especially the ones I love, and then I’ll go back and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. That way I can see how I’ve improved and I don’t feel so terrible anymore! Reading my own fics is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, and I’ll read through my masterlists every once a while just to remind myself of the things I’ve loved, where I’ve been, and where I’m going.

How do you deal with writer's block: Like I said, I reread old fics and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. Seeing the things I’ve done before always helps to focus me. I’ll also read other people’s stuff or talk about headcanons with some friends to try and find some inspiration.

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Lately I have been, but only because my periods of intense inspiration and productivity are getting farther and farther apart because of my job. I’ve found planning it out to be more and more helpful, especially for my series. A lot of times if I get a great idea, I’ll outline the whole plot or any significant details I want to put in that one shot/series so that I can come back to it whenever I have the time or I’m inspired for it again.

Do you have any weird writing habits: I write best in places that are unfamiliar to me or in places/times where I shouldn’t be writing. Class? Writing. Airport terminal? Writing. 4am when I have to be up at 6? Writing.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? Not that I remember! I feel like there’s probably been one or two over the years, but I probably just got upset about it with my friends for a while and then got over it.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? A long time ago, when I was writing Back to the Start, I had one person who sent me asks for every single series update. I screenshotted them and saved them on my laptop. There’s one particular one where they say that they’re happier because of my writing and honestly, isn’t that what we all strive for? That people’s lives are better because of our stories? I’ve also had some pretty great friends recently who’ve made it a point to reblog and send asks/messages on all my works, which has been so meaningful that I never replied to the asks. They’re sitting in my inbox and I go through and reread them sometimes when I’m feeling down.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Write down everything. If you come up with an amazing piece of dialogue, even if it’s just one sentence or one person talking, or if you come up with something you’d think would be a great title… WRITE IT DOWN. It doesn’t matter if it fits into whatever you’re currently writing or not, it’ll come in handy! I don’t know how many times I’ve gone through my idea list and found really obscure lines/titles/inspiration that didn’t make sense when I wrote them down, but are now exactly what I need to finish a fic. Even if you don’t end up using it, jotting down your ideas is still writing, and that’s good practice!

#pond diving #spnfanficpond

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