#I've been holding myself back bc of my 'people pleaser' problem

[nerdycolorcupcake]

People do change their minds and that's okay

This blog is made of pure self indulgence

So if you're still following me despite i no longer give what you expected when you first followed me

I appreciate it dearly

If not, well it was fun being hyperfixated of that said content with you

In other words, I'm still gonna talk abt Dream SMP in AU wise, even if i no longer watch the canon counterpart

And narilamb stuff from cotl, obviously

[anqelically-archived]

hi! could i please request a jjk match up? i am all caught up with the manga!

i'm bisexual, so i would be fine with either female or male character!

so, hi, hello, i am a infj cancer female (when i say cancer i mean very very cancer- i got cancer sun, mercury, mars and venus, and libra moon and rising). i've been told that at first i look pretty intimidating, quiet and serious (i've heard people thought i was mean too, cause of my resting bitch face 😂), but the more I get used to you, the more i open up. now, i'm pretty chatty even if we just met, but i don't really tell much about myself, i do have some serious trust and commitment issues (in a way that i am super scared i will open myself to someone fully and commit to them and then they leave me or betray me- it has happened before). my close friends (total of 4- i prefer smaller friend groups, and people with similar interests) would describe me as very friendly, warm, mom-type of a friend, but also criticise me for being anxious and overthinking everything. i'm very patient, very very hard to piss off, and i do my best to cheer people up around me ( i have no reservations comforting someone i just met if they seem upset). i am the therapist friend, but i tend to hold my own emotions and problems back, because that's how i deal with things, just endure them (but that doesn't really work always). i'm hardworking, passionate and a chatter-box once i get to know you. i used to be quite a people pleaser and would bend over backwards to make people like me, but i am over that right now, and maybe it is cold of me, but the moment somebody crosses me, i cut them off. i hate arguments, so i just end it, as calmly as possible and push them out of my life.

i'm currently in medical school, and i am still undecided if i want to become a neurosurgeon or a psychiatrist- the brain is just very very mysterious to me and it piques my interest. i am a huge bookworm and i adore reading, and i have a big problem bc i constantly buy books, i have zero restraints. i also really like exercising, i've done figure skating since i was little, but after high school i stopped, so now i use weight-lifting at the gym as my therapy of sorts. i love love food, and i have a huge sweet tooth, and during quarantine i found out i am quite good at baking (cooking not so much but eh). i have a russian blue cat called Hitoshi, and i love him with my entire soul. i have a knack for languages and i can speak three- English, Serbian and German and I am learning Japanese and Korean (as much as I can, mostly during breaks from medical school). i really really dislike snow and colder weather, people who can't/ refuse to read the room, know-it-alls and selfishness.

in relationships, i would like someone with a good head on their shoulders, and a good person over all, someone i could trust. they don't need to be necessarily serious, but i do need them to get the hint when things do get serious. someone ambitious, who knows what they want and work towards it. i am busy a lot, so i think an ambitious person, who has their own goals and is working towards that, would understand that i can't hang out ALL the time. That being said, my love languages are acts of service and quality time, and i am all for being in the room with them, both of us doing our own things, sitting in silence. i prefer indoor dates most of the time, and i would be really happy if they exercised too, because that would be another part of the day we could spend together, but it is not a deal breaker at all if they don't. in the past i struggled with eating disorders and body dysmorphia, and i still tend to relapse quite often, so somebody who is reassuring and supportive would be awesome. also, i don't date casually. i don't do one night stands or flings, because i tend to get too invested and then i end up hurt, so i only date someone if i can see myself with them long term. i don't need or want to get married super fast, but i don't want to invest time or my emotions in a relationship that will fall apart within a few months.

i believe that love is shown in small things, such as cut up fruit and a glass of water while they are working, small texts through out the day just to check in, doing something on their to do list instead of them so they have more time to relax, surprising them with their favourite pastry or restocking the house with their favourite food or even attempting to make it. i am not saying that grand gestures are bland and don't show love- i just think that anybody can just decide to do them and then tend to think oh okay so i just showed them how much i love them and now i don't have to do anything for a while. i believe that relationships are give and take, sometimes it is equal, sometimes you take more than you give and some days you give more than you take. i am quite sensitive to mood changes and i want to talk about it, i believe communication is incredibly important, and i am learning to communicate better. Now, as i struggle with depression (yay med school 🥲), i do need someone sturdy enough to lean back on, so trust really is important.

i guess all those additional questions you mentioned could be how would they express their love, what would they think of me initially, what would they do if i tried to push them away (cause i do that quite a lot, since i don't really think i deserve to be loved), what kind of dates we would go to.

I hope the information I gave you was enough 😅 thank you so much, stay safe xx

YOUR MATCH-UP IS…

…YUTA OKKOTSU !

NO MANGA SPOILERS BELOW

before i say anything, these are college au hcs :) let’s also pretend there’s a medical department for the sake of it 💀

initially, yuta ended up being one of the people slightly intimidated by your rbf. it was in literature class while he was glancing around to see his large number of classmates when you sat in the row in front of him

your first interaction was when your class had to do a partner presentation project two weeks into the start of the year. neither of you knew anyone in the class and when you noticed how yuta’s eyes were darting all around loud room, you asked right from your seat. he finally got a decent look at you. “um yeah, thanks for asking.” “well it’s better to know someone in a class like this, yup. it’s nice to meet you.”

when yuta began to like you, he noticed way more about you. one was how hard-working you actually were. you were taking hard medical classes amongst others. another thing was that you were just a really great person over all. he admired that (here i go again about yuta admiring ppl omg)

honestly, dates overall can vary. but the first date is what we’re going to focus on rn. yuta’s told you about his friends (the besties 😩) and even though they haven’t met you, they’re already convincing him to ask you out. “do it before i punch ya.” “m-maki, i can’t just-“ “do it.” “toge!”

the first date, to my imagination, would be something simple. like going into a restaurant (nothing fancy, like a ramen shop or something along those lines) or having a simple picnic outside. it was yuta’s actions that really hit it off. like if it were a restaurant, he would pull your chair out and push it back it. if it were a picnic, he’s sure to serve you first

just like in the canon storyline, rika was yuta’s first love who died when he was young. he’s moved on of course, but there are still times he thinks about rika and feels guilty. he heavily appreciates when you’re there for him

it’s the same for you. when those negative thoughts come back, yuta wants to do anything he can do to help. he’s someone you can trust and have helpful conversations too, as he’s both honest and considerate

when there are times that you don’t feel worthy of the love he gives you, he stands his ground when you try pushing him away. “i know you may think that, but it’s not true. you’re great to me, actually. you’ve saved me more than you know you have.”

yuta buys you sweets (because he’s a sweetheart yk 😩). this man also is your number one taste tester. “wow,” he would say with a full mouth, “this is stho gwood.” i’m also betting he’ll ask you to teach him how to make your favorite thing to bake

when the weather is cold and you too have to walk to your classes, he’ll wrap his scarf around your neck even if you have your own…

i also believe yuta is more of a cat person so ;)

NOTE: hey babes, i really hope everything is going well <3 i thank you for your patience and am wishing you good luck on your studies!! be sure to take care of yourself first :)

NAVIGATION: here

reblogs are appreciated, and asks are welcome <3