#I've been crying on and off so much today but now I'm about to tear up because I'm.

[missrosegold]

Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊

[nerdnag]

I hope everyone who reads this is having a better day than I am 🙏

[angeltism]

Omg social interaction is actually the best antidepressant ever holy shit

[writersdrug]

no thoughts just waitress!reader showing up for shifts like nothings wrong after the date situation

just keeping it calm and professional. working her shifts efficiently and no longer bantering/flirting with ghost, who would rather reader melt down and tear into him than putting up the walls around herself hehe

Ok I'm combining some asks here that had some different ideas - I got so many of you guys demanding reparation for making reader cry 😭 here's the comfort chapter! (Still a tad angsty at the beginning)

Ghost had finished your tips for you that night. He had half a mind to slide a hundred in your payout folder as an apology for ruining your date... but what good would that do? That would make you quit for good, if you hadn't already.

He lays in his bed, eyes stuck to the ceiling, still in his jeans and black shirt. He wishes he could snuff out the guilt that sits heavily in his gut. He wonders what you're doing - probably crying, possibly making a half-assed voodoo doll of himself and stabbing his chest with a dull steak knife, because that's all he feels right now.

He gets up early the next day after a rough three hours of sleep. He lumbers down the stairs to the office - Price is there, sorting out cash and working on the next supply order. He looks at Simon, who's rubbing his eyes and looking worse for wear.

"Mornin'." Price says, turning back to the monitor. Ghost grunts in response, dropping himself onto the couch behind Price. His head aches from the lack of sleep, thoughts circling in his mind about how to apologize to you. He can imagine you won't want to talk to him - or, if you do, it'll most likely be profanities wedged between insults. He'd love for you to berate him right now, and make him feel like he got what he deserved.

Price sighs. "You sleep alright?"

"I've had better."

"Nightmare?"

"... yea, somethin' like that."

Price huffs. "I'm workin' front of house today." He says, grabbing the bag of tips and standing up. "Goin' down to drop these in the safe, then I'll help you stock up."

Simon opens his eyes, looking at Price with confusion. "You?"

Price nods. "Dove called out sick. Sounded like she's got the lurgy."

That delivers the final blow to Simon. He knows you're not sick - you're avoiding him now. All plans to apologize are now out the window, and the more time passes, the harder it'll be to do it.

"You've only got yourself to blame, Simon." Price says, heading down to the restaurant floor.

He curses under his breath as Price leaves. How he heard about what happened - he could only assume it had been from Soap. He drops his arm over his face and groans. He wants to call out himself, but then they might as well shut down the entire pub for the day.

Should he try phoning you? Would you answer, let alone allow him to get more than five words out? What would he say? "Sorry I ruined your date, I was jealous tha' ya got a life outside of the pub." There is no variation of an apology that feels like it would be enough. He made you cry, for fucks sake. That was a punishment in and of itself, but he still had to own up to what he'd done.

He sighs loudly; his body feels heavy as he drags himself off the couch, trudging down the stairs. He still has a bar to run.

It had to have been the longest shift of Simon's life, and he even wrapped things up a bit earlier than usual. He didn't have the gift of your incessant chatting or being able to tease you to make the time pass. Price was a solid companion in front of house, but there was hardly a conversation to be held - even with the usual bar crowd. The patrons had a look of confusion for the majority of the night, wondering why Soap wasn't popping his head out of the kitchen to chat every once in a while - and why the hell the owner was serving tables, and not the chipper, spunky waitress.

When Simon had locked up for the night, he noticed your bike was no longer in the alley. Johnny must have dropped it off on the way back to his place.

Today isn't much different - at least, not for Simon. He's still suffering from a lack of sleep, he's irritable (he had a spat with Johnny in the morning, over something he can't even remember), and his work ethic is suffering. He's not worried about slicing bar fruit; it'll give him something to do later, when he needs it. Maybe the rush will kick him back into shape.

He stares at the dishes on the edge of the bar - they're all in need of a good polish, but he finds himself stuck on staring at the bar fridge. There's nothing else he needs to stock up on - it's packed completely full with wine, champagne, and cans of beer. He gently kicks the side of it with his boot. He should be checking the to-go boxes, helping Soap with setting up the condiments and soups, making sure the tables all had full salt and pepper shakers. That's what you would be doing. But, you're not here, and neither is Price. He can only hope tonight isn't as busy as the previous night, otherwise he'll have to close some tables. Which would make customers mad. Which would make Price mad. Which would-

Suddenly, he hears three loud bangs against the back door. He freezes, the sound triggering a Pavlovian response. He immediately looks up to the kitchen window - Soap opens the door, and you come jogging inside. You greet him with a smile. He asks how you're feeling, and you say "much better".

He doesn't know what to do with himself, but he just stands there like an idiot as you hang your bag and jacket on a hook. Stands there as you push your way into the restaurant, barely sparing him a glance as you scurry by him. Stands there as you run up the stairs, two at a time, diving nose-first into your chores so you can avoid Simon.

He can't speak. Should he? What can he say? "I'm sorry," for starters, but it isn't that simple. He thought you might have quit, and was preparing his heart for the worst. But now, here you are, running back and forth through the pub and setting up your tables - and it feels like you've never been farther away from him.

In all honesty, you can't bring yourself to talk to him either. You're feeling just as ashamed with your behavior two nights ago as he is about his own. Why the fuck would you expect someone - let alone your boss - to do your chores so that you could run off and have fun on a date? Not only that, but you'd made a scene; you felt like you had half-assed the ice bins in your scramble to get them cleaned, and then you sobbed in the middle of the restaurant. The cherry on top, however, was when you called Price yesterday and told him you had a cold, calling out of your shift. It was a cowardly thing to do, and you could tell he wasn't buying your story.

But: bills need to be paid, rent is due, and you can't lose this job. So you sucked it up and came in today - Simon is easy enough to ignore, separated from you by the bar.

At first, the quiet bartender was relieved that you had showed up for your shift - he wouldn't have searched for a new waitress if you had quit, instead choosing to deal with the consequences of his actions. But he's quickly getting more and more irritated with the silent treatment you're serving. You only talk to him when necessary: a simple "thanks" when you grab your drinks and run them to your tables. You busy yourself between rolling silverware, (over)stocking napkins and condiments, and even going so far as to spray the menus down and scrub them with a rag. You spend more time in the kitchen with Soap; each peal of laughter shared between the two of you is another arrow in Simon's chest. He's stuck behind the bar, listening to woes spilling from drunken lips, forced to watch you flit around and pretend he doesn't exist.

You can't keep this up forever.

Still, you do for most of the night. Even when your shift is coming to an end, the kitchen closed while you close the tabs for your remaining tables, you don't cave and sit at the bar with Simon. You sit at the farthest table from him, the farthest chair, in fact, skimming over your tip receipts - and talking to Soap (who was only able to sit with you since you had helped him knock out his tasks).

Simon's never been as angry with Soap as he is now - and the worst part is he knows it's not justified. He's watching from behind the bar, polishing glasses so hard they might wane into cups. He wants to talk to you. He will talk to you before the night is over. He doesn't expect forgiveness, but he expects that you'll at least let him offer an apology.

One of the regulars at the bar looks to whatever Simon is glaring at, chuckling quietly when he sees you. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Stuff it, Mike." Simon grumbles.

Meanwhile, you walk back from closing out your last table, plopping back in the booth with Soap. "What are you doing after this?"

"Sleepin'." he replies instantly, tossing back an onion ring. "Been dealin' with a grumpy bawbag since early this mornin', and I'm beat."

You glance over at the bar; Simon's back is facing you as he organizes the beer glasses. You really should apologize to him... you just couldn't figure out when the right time would be. He'd still be working by the time your shift ends, and you don't even know if he wants to speak to you at this point.

"Is he mad at me?" you ask, tapping your pen on the table.

Soap sighs. "I'm not goin' t' be the middle man, Bonnie." he says, looking at you intently. "If ye feel like somethin' needs to be said, go talk to 'im."

You groan, leaning back against the seat. "It's not that simple."

"Why not?"

"It just isn't! He's already pissed at me, and he probably thinks I'm a slacker. What good is an apology?"

"Ye won't know 'til ye talk to 'im, hmm?"

"What if he fires me?"

Johnny barks with laughter, and you frown. "I'm being serious."

"He'd never fire ye." he says, getting up out of the booth. He stretches both arms above his head and lets out a grunt. "In fact, he was throwin' a fit yesterday n' today 'fore ye came in. Bitch took it out on me."

You winced. "I'm sorry-"

"Save it fer 'im." Soap interjected. He left you at the booth with the onion rings and your tips, disappearing into the kitchen. You huff, hunching back over your tips and scribbling through them.

Deep down, you know Soap is right. If anything, you could just apologize to Simon. If he chooses to be grumpy about it, so be it. You've got tough skin... still, you can't stand the thought of him being upset with you - not because of your work ethic, but because you liked him. A lot. And you wanted him to like you back, even if it was in the most platonic way.

But that didn't change anything. An apology was due, and you were going to give him one before you left tonight.

You grabbed an onion ring and popped it in your mouth, grimacing when you realized they were cold. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Simon making his was across the floor to your booth.

Great. Guess the apology is coming now.

He stops at the edge of the table, wiping his hands in a rag. You pretend to punch numbers into your phone's calculator, but they're all random - you just want to look like you're busy.

"May I sit?" he asks, tucking the rag into his back pocket.

You mumble out a "sure", still not looking at him. You hear his large frame slide into the seat across from you, polyester squeaking underneath his weight. You continue to do random equations on your calculator, letting a thick blanket of tension settle between the two of you. You can feel his stare burning into your head, his arms folded over his chest... and you notice that his mask is in his hand. You finally look up at him.

It's not the first time you've seen his face - you've caught glimpses of it when he smokes in the alley, or when he eats whatever Soap throws under the warmer for you and Simon. But this time, he's not taking it off to be convenient. And, dear god, you're just now paying attention to how scarred, rugged, and handsome he is - but now's not the time for those kinds of thoughts. You feel like he's reaching out an olive branch, showing a possible vulnerable side to himself. So, you place your pen on the table and lean back.

He stays quiet for a moment longer, trying to figure out how to start this. He wants to make sure that you know he's here to apologize, not to ask for forgiveness. From his silence, you assume he's waiting for you to go first.

"I'm sorry about Tuesday night." you say, eyes dropping to the table. Simon's astounded that you're the one apologizing, but you continue. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, and I'm sorry for trying to dump my job on you."

He feels worse, now. Was that even possible? He was expecting anger, insults - a detailed, frustrated explanation of what you did last night since you did not go on that date. But you're the one saying sorry? You think you're to blame for all of this unspoken aggression? Oh, you really do confuse him, sometimes...

"You don't need t' be sorry, luv." he says, gazing at you with a softness you'd never seen before, not in his brown eyes, at least.

"No, I do." you say, nearly pleading with him to let you be apologetic. "I was being a brat, and whether you usually do the ice bins or not, I shouldn't have expected you would do them without asking." You push your pen on the table, doing your best to convey your feelings. "And yeah, I was late for my date, but... well, he sounded like a dick, anyways."

Simon chuckles, watching you stare at the table. "Well, I owe you an apology, too. I jus'..." he sighed heavily, running a hand down his jaw. "I don' even know. Guess I was bein' lazy, or... I got jealous tha' you've got a life outside of this pub. Feels like you belong here."

He immediately regrets saying that - it sounds way too possessive and... just straight up weird. But you smile, taking comfort in the fact that he still wants you here. That this was the whole reason behind the mess.

"Soap called you a bitch. Said you were an asshole all day."

Simon scoffs. "Yea... 'm pretty sure Price would tell ya the same. And he wants ya back, too. Couldn't stand waitin' on tables, he was tryin' t' trade places with me all night."

You laugh. The world seems alright again - not perfect, but good enough. It might take a night of sleeping the tension away before you're fully back to your normal self, but this is a leap in the right direction. You look at Simon, into his brown, steady eyes, as they stare right back at you.

He breaks the silence. "I really am sorry for ruinin' your date."

You smile softly. "Thank you, Simon. I forgive you."

And just like that, the weight of his guilt is lifted away. The lingering sourness remains, a reminder that he had made you cry. But you had forgiven him, which was more than he was hoping to get tonight.

"Are we better?" you ask timidly.

He nods once. "Better."

You smile - you slowly slide your stack of receipts to him, biting your lip. "Cool - can I have my money?"

Just like that, his smirk drops - but you know it's all in good humor. He huffs, snatching the stack from the table and scoots his way out of the booth. "Always got money on the mind, eh?"

"I've always got rent on my mind." you retort, following after him with the bowl of onion rings. You plant yourself at your usual spot on the end of the bar, right near the POS where Simon cashes out your tips. He tries to hurry up, assuming you want to dip and go home after such an intense conversation. He slides the mask back over his face and punches his code in, trying to edit your tips into the system as quickly as he can.

"Simon?"

"Hm?" his response is instant, turning around to look back at you. You've got your phone on the bartop, and your back and jacket on the unoccupied seat next to you.

"Can I stay for a drink?"

He's melting on the inside, only held together by his own skin. He sets your receipts down and opts to do them later, right before whenever you decide to leave. He won't miss on an opportunity to have you stay longer.

"Course, luv. What's it gonna be?"

"You know how to make a cosmo?"

He chuckles, grabbing a glass from the shelf behind him. "Sure do."

[gguk-n]

Chapter 3- The Reveal

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Y/N gets rejected for the sixth time. Max win's the Monaco grand prix 2023. Y/N decides she needs time for herself.

No hate to anyone, it's for the story

{Reader's POV}

I fell asleep crying, a faint buzzing from my phone was heard from the other room. I woke up after a few hours at 3 am when I found my phone which was burning up. The messages hadn't stop coming. They had gotten quite frantic as I scrolled through my notifications. I decided to reply to Max's messages.

He was still the guy I liked, I couldn't not reply. But I was hurt and in no shape to be talking to him. I don't know what Max said after my message because my phone shut down. I pushed myself to clean myself up and my surrounding. I was a stress cleaner and I'm so grateful to having 2 jobs right now. It meant my mind would be preoccupied. I cleaned my whole house before leaving for school in the morning. My eyes were red and puffy; I was on coffee. I had yet to switch my phone on. I wasn't ready to face Max yet.

Today was the worst day, not only because of last night's revelation but I had the least amount of classes today. None of the kids needed help after class either. That meant I was left to my own devices. When I switched the phone on, I could see missed calls and texts from Max and a couple voice messages; from the night before and today morning I guess. I opened up Google to check his schedule; he was in Monaco, which was also his home currently. I found out a lot about him, you think you know someone but then Google tells you otherwise. His dad was as shitty as he described. His records and feats were astonishing and if I wasn't this angry at him for hiding it from me, I would've been so proud and told him so. His Instagram feed was pretty and polished and he posted so much racing content. I found his streaming account with a team, he was exactly like the Max that called me everyday with occasional appearances from the cats on stream. People spoke so rudely about Max, it angered me to no end. He was a kind man, a liar but a sweet man.

The real kicker was Max's girlfriend's account where I found so many pictures of them together with her daughter, from what I found out. He looked happy, he had a family like he always said he wanted. I couldn't help but smile bitterly, a part of me wished that it was me who was the woman beside him with our kid. Life is cruel in some ways, mine is satire at best. Here, I can't date a man because I'm hung up on a guy I've never met before while said man has a family. I felt tears streaming down my face which I quickly wiped them off. I had enough of pity and sympathy stares since the morning to last a lifetime, I can't deal with any more of them.

I knew I wanted to talk to Max, the only guy who has ever understood me, however, I also knew that if we spoke I wouldn't be listening to him. I was scared I would lose the one true friend I have. Would Max understand where I was coming from? Why did he hide this from me? Did he not trust me enough? I get it, but you are a public figure. I don't know how to feel about all of this. It was the weekend tomorrow. I would be left with my thoughts and I probably shouldn't confront Max before his race on Sunday, right?

I spent the next two days planning how I would talk to Max. How I would ask him why he hid everything from me? I didn't want to fight him; my parents always said I was rude and difficult to work with, that my anger consumed me, that my words were harsh. I wasn't supposed to show such negative emotions they said. I didn't want to lose him; but was I allowed to hold on to him when he never let me have him?

Max called and texted me every day but I was very scared, scared of becoming the monster my parents said I was, sacred of hurting the one I love. There I said it, said Max and love in the same sentence. I had threaded that line so carefully but after all of this, I realised that I've loved him for years and watching him be happy with some else hurt as much as knowing that I never truly knew Max. It was Sunday night, I checked the news and saw that Max won. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to rejoice watching the man I love win at what he was best at or be hurt watching him live a life I knew nothing about.

I texted him at night on Sunday, maybe he would be busy celebrating his win, I didn't know. I didn't know a lot of things. As I waited for the text back, I logged on to my emails that I had forgotten about to find a reply from the publication I had sent my work to; to be met with dismay. Another rejection, I'm not sure how many more rejections I could take. My hands shook, making the laptop fall from my lap onto the bed. I got up and got myself a glass of water.

I laid on my bed for god knows how long before the familiar ring of my phone pulled me out of my trance. I had taken the day off tomorrow. I knew I didn't have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with anything. I answered the call to a worried Max.

Max- Schat, how have you been? Haven't heard a word from you in days. Y/N- I've been busy, school year ending and stuff. Why didn't you sleep yet? Max- You know my sleep schedule is non existent. Y/N- Yeah, I guess I do. Max looked at me confused. Y/N- You know how I do freelance editing Max- You've told me about it Y/N- The latest author I'm working with is a sports author. I was hoping you could help me since you are a walking encycylopedia. Max- sure schat, but what's up with you? You know I'm always there for you Y/N- Yeah it nothing, just stressed. Max- Take off, you deserve it Y/N- The summer break is here soon, I'll be fine. So about that author... Max-Yeah, what sport does she write for? Y/N- Formula One. I don't really like reading lengthy articles and I'm sure one article wouldn't do a sport any justice. I could see the colour leave Max's face. He licked his lips before speaking. Max- You did not go through google yet, right? Y/N- Oh no, what do you take me for? I got excited to learn about something new. Do you know who the reigning champion is? Max was quite, a sort of uncomfortable silence had enveloped us, for the first time in 10 years. Y/N- Some dude named Max Verstappen. You guys share the same first name. He has 2 cats too; named Jimmy and Sassy, who look exactly like your bengals. I mean he even looks like you, with horrible sleep schedule just like you. He even sounds like you. I felt my voice begin to crack while I spoke, the lump in my throat unbearably big, my breathing was uneven. Max- Schatje, I can explain. Y/N- You don't have to Max. I never asked you what you did. You don't have to explain anything. (I smiled with only my lips) Max- I wanted to tell you, it just never came up in conversation. Y/N- I get it, it's difficult to tell your friend who has amounted to nothing that you are the World Driver's Champion, best of the best in Formula One. Max- Y/N, it's nothing like that. You're great, you're kind, you're funny. I laughed bitterly. Y/N- Those are character traits I possess, they don't describe my career goals or achievements. I know I work 2 jobs to stay afloat while you make millions, I know I wish I was an author and not their editor, I know you probably thought I was too stupid to understand your rich and fancy world. Max- No, no, you're so talented. I've read your work and I'm sure the right publication will pick your work up. Y/N- I got rejected for the sixth time today. All of this is fine except that you lied to me about being single while having a girlfriend for years and having the happy family you dreamt off. You didn't have to introduce me to her; not like my boyfriends met you. But it would've been nice if I knew. Max- It just never came up. Y/N- I...we joked about setting you up with someone all the time. Please don't. I get it, we didn't tell each other about work goals or what we did as a job but personal life; I literally told you about every guy I've ever been with. I felt bad telling you thinking you were single. I feel stupid right now. I had tears streaming down my face at this point. Max- I'm sorry,Y/N. I promise I won't hide anything anymore. Please, don't cry. Y/N- My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I majored in literature in Uni and now work as a primary school teacher and freelance editor. I'm trying to get my book published soon. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. Max- Please don't do this. Y/N- I believe at least one of us should be honest. Max- Let me fix this. Y/N- Don't worry. There's nothing to fix. (I wiped away my tears) Max- Please don't say that. You mean a lot me. Y/N- Me too. That's why, I need time. I'll talk to you when I'm ready. Max- Please, I can't lose you. Y/N- You won't. I'll always be there for you. I just need time. Take care Max I saw tears streaming down Max's face. Max- Bye, take care Y/N. I'll always be here. And then the screen went black.

[Max spent the whole week worrying about Y/N. He couldn't think straight. This was weird, she was never this busy before. It was stressing him out, he couldn't eat or sleep. He never even thought about the fact that maybe his lie had been exposed. When Y/N texted him, he was at a club in Monaco with the other drivers to celebrate his win. He only saw it after he got back home and immediately called her. She looked different, there was this sadness in her eyes. The smile didn't reach her eyes. And then she started talking, his heart was beating very fast. The moment she said Formula One, his whole world came crashing down. The more she spoke the more he felt like he was falling deeper, in a pit of his own making. He wanted to tell her, he wanted to explain himself but no words left his mouth. Then she started talking about his girlfriend. He felt like this was the last time he would get to talk to her, the last time he would hear her voice. This felt like the last time he would have her]

[rosesareredrosa]

When Laughter Fades

Mattheo Riddle x fem reader

Summary: Mattheo takes things too far with his "banter" and didn't notice y/n's feelings of hurt and anger until one day she decides to speak up and Mattheo has to change to keep the relationship steady

Authors note: Sorry anon for the wait this was randomly so hard

Word Count: 1070

Mattheo Riddle loved pulling pranks. They brought him joy and amusement, especially when his favorite target, Y/N, was involved. She usually laughed along with him, but he didn't realize how close he was to crossing the line until today.

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and the Slytherin common room was buzzing with students enjoying their free time. Y/N was seated at a table, diligently working on an essay for Potions class. Mattheo, ever the prankster, watched her from across the room, a devious idea forming in his mind.

He slipped out of the common room and returned moments later with a small enchanted box. Inside it was a jinxed snake that would leap out and hiss at whoever opened it. He approached Y/N's table with a casual grin.

"Hey, Y/N, I found this weird box in the Room of Requirement. Want to see what's inside?" he asked, holding out the box to her.

Y/N glanced up, raising an eyebrow but smiling. "Sure, Mattheo. Let's see it."

As soon as she opened the box, the snake leaped out, hissing loudly. Y/N screamed, knocking over her ink bottle in the process. Ink splattered all over her essay and her robes. Her face paled, and then flushed with a mix of fear and anger.

"Mattheo, what the hell!" she shouted, her voice trembling.

Mattheo's grin faltered. "It's just a prank, Y/N. It's a fake snake, see?"

He picked up the snake, which had now returned to its inanimate state, and showed it to her. But Y/N wasn't laughing.

"Just a prank? Look at my essay, my robes! This isn't funny, Mattheo. You always do this, and I'm sick of it!" Tears welled up in her eyes as she glared at him.

"Y/N, I didn't mean to—" Mattheo started, but she cut him off.

"That's the problem, Mattheo. You never mean to, but you always end up hurting me. Maybe you should think before you act."

With that, she turned on her heel and left the common room, leaving Mattheo standing there, guilt and regret washing over him. He watched her go, the weight of his actions sinking in.

Days passed, and Y/N avoided Mattheo. The usual spark in her eyes was gone, replaced by a guarded, wary look. Mattheo's heart ached every time he saw her, knowing he had put that look there. He had to make things right, but he didn't know how. Apologies had never been his strong suit.

One evening, after searching for Y/N around the castle, Mattheo finally found her in the library, sitting in a secluded corner. Her face was buried in her arms, and she looked up as he approached, her eyes red-rimmed from crying.

"Y/N," he said softly, approaching her table. "Please, can we talk?"

She looked up, her expression weary. "What do you want, Mattheo?"

"I want to apologize. I was an idiot, and I took things way too far. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. I'm so sorry, Y/N."

"You always say you're sorry, but then you do it again. How can I believe you this time?"

"I know I've messed up," he continued, "but I promise I'll change. No more pranks, no more teasing. I care about you, and I don't want to lose your friendship."

Y/N stood up, her frustration boiling over. "You care about me? You have a funny way of showing it. Every time I start to trust you, you pull another stupid prank. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?"

"Y/N, please, I never meant to hurt you. I just thought it was all in good fun."

"Good fun? Fun for who, Mattheo? Because it's not fun for me. It's humiliating and cruel."

Mattheo felt his heart sink. He hadn't realized just how much pain he had caused her. "I... I didn't see it that way. I thought we were just playing around."

"Playing around? This isn't a game, Mattheo. These are my feelings. And every time you pull one of your 'pranks,' it feels like you're saying my feelings don't matter."

"I'm sorry," Mattheo said, his voice breaking. "I really am. I don't want to lose you, Y/N."

She sighed, her anger giving way to exhaustion. "I don't know if I can trust you again, Mattheo. You've hurt me too many times."

"I'll prove it to you," he said desperately. "I'll show you that I can change. No more pranks, I swear. Just give me a chance."

Y/N looked at him, her eyes filled with a mix of hope and doubt. "Alright, Mattheo. But this is your last chance. If you hurt me again, we're done."

He nodded fervently. "I won't let you down. I promise."

In the days that followed, Mattheo made good on his promise. He was attentive, considerate, and kind. He helped Y/N with her studies, brought her favorite snacks, and most importantly, he listened. But he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that things weren't the same. Y/N was more reserved, her laughter less frequent, and Mattheo feared that he had caused irreparable damage.

One night, as they sat by the lake, watching the sunset, Y/N broke the silence. "Mattheo, do you ever think about the future?"

He glanced at her, surprised by the question. "Sometimes. Why?"

"I've been thinking a lot lately. About us, about everything that's happened. I want to trust you, but it's hard. Every time I see you, I remember the hurt."

Mattheo's heart clenched. "Y/N, I promise I'll never hurt you again. I care about you so much."

She turned to him, her eyes filled with a mix of hope and sorrow. "I want to believe you, Mattheo. But it's going to take time."

"I know. And I'm willing to wait, to do whatever it takes to make things right."

Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder, a small gesture of trust. "Thank you, Mattheo."

As they sat there, wrapped in each other's presence, Mattheo knew that this was his chance to prove himself. The road to healing would be long and difficult, but he was determined to show Y/N that he valued her far more than any prank or joke. He would cherish her, protect her, and make sure that her laughter returned, brighter and more genuine than ever before.

[hyunniesgirl]

Stupid in love

Pairing: Seo Changbin x reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Summary: less than a month into the wedding, you get into a big fight with Changbin. When you think he's going to call it quits, he makes sure to show you that you're very much wrong.

Requested: yes

Warnings: a bit suggestive

All my works are for +18 audiences, minors do NOT interact!!

You park in front of your house, the lights are on, your fiance is home. He's home and he stood you up. You're mad but mostly you're sad, you're overwhelmed and so tired, exhausted, actually.

You enter the house, hearing sounds in the kitchen, you don't even want to look at him right now. You want to yell at him, argue but you don't even have the energy to do that, so you just take your shoes off, leaving your coat hanging by the door and walking silently to the stairs so you can go to your room, wash up and just sleep until morning comes and you can pretend this day never happened.

“You're home?” You hear Changbin's voice as soon as you go up the first step to the second floor.

“Yes”, you say, continuing to go up.

You hear his footsteps coming after you, but you don't stop, you want to close the door right on his face.

“I ordered food”, he says again, confused as to why you didn't kiss him when you arrived or why you're not looking at him.

“I'm not hungry”, you say simply, stopping in front of the mirror to take your jewelry off. You give up on the idea of closing the door on his face, you don't want to hurt him even though you're furious. You take off your earrings, watching him through the reflection of the mirror. He's looking at you with a frown on his face, trying to figure out why you're angry, he's sure he didn't do anything this time.

“Are you mad?” He asks, naively.

“What do you think?” You ask back, glaring at his reflection.

“I think you are”, he pouts.

“Then you already have your answer”, you say, finishing taking the bracelets and rings off your fingers.

You turn around, walking past him and going to the bathroom to wash up, hearing his footsteps after you again. You sigh, why won't he leave you alone?

“I'm not sure what I did wrong this time”, Changbin clarifies, trying to make you tell him what's wrong.

You laugh, looking to the ceiling and trying to calm down. Turning to look at him and leaning on the bathroom counter, looking at your fiance with your arms crossed in front of your chest.

“I really don't know if I should feel less angry that you genuinely forgot about our cake tasting today and not just chose to ignore what I've been planning for months”, you say through gritted teeth, watching the panic form on the face of the man in front of you.

“I-it was today?” He stutters, patting his pants to find his phone and check on his agenda just to find the event he had scheduled on his calendar to be exactly today. “I didn't mean it”, he says, running his hand through his hair. “I had so many meetings today, I just got home”, he explains.

“I guess your work will always be your top priority”, you scoff, feeling tears starting to brim on your eyes.

“Don't be like that”, Changbin sighs, “you know you are my top priority but I'm not just an employee, I'm the CEO”, he pleads, you know that and you're so tired of that.

“I'm well aware of your position in the company”, you laugh, rolling your eyes. “That’s why I never say anything when you come home late or when I'm all ready for a date and you have to reschedule it because something came up”, you sigh, “I only asked this one thing of you: that you show up when we have something related to the wedding but you couldn't even do that for me”, you cry out, feeling the tears running out of your eyes.

“You're talking like I did this on purpose”, he murmurs, hurt showing in his eyes.

“I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty”, you run your hands through your hair, “you don't know how humiliating it was to wait for you there for three hours, Ryujin and my mom told me to reschedule but I told them that you were going to show up”, you take a deep breath, “jokes on me, I guess I'm the only one who cares about this fucking wedding”

“You're not the only one who cares”. He says with his voice a pitch higher, it happens when he gets nervous. “I'm trying to clean my schedule so we can go on our honeymoon without me having to worry about work. I have so many meetings every day and I have to pass all the work to my secretary so nothing goes wrong while I'm away”

“Maybe we shouldn't be doing this”, you whisper, putting your hands on your sides and squeezing the fabric of your shirt.

“Are you being for real?” He asks, incredulous, anger and resentment flooding his mind.

You regretted saying it the moment the sentence left your mouth, but unfortunately you can't unsay something, all the more something so hurtful as that.

“I-” you step closer to him, but Changbin steps back, shaking his head.

“I need to think”, he turns to the door, walking away and leaving you behind.

You're such an idiot, how could you say that to him? It doesn't matter how angry you are, there's no excuse to hurt someone you love like that. You feel the tears falling down your eyes while your knees give in and you fall on the floor, crying your eyes out. Did you ruin everything? Is he going to call off the wedding? Is he sick of you now?

Hours go by, you walk back and forth in the house, waiting for his car to park in front of the house but it doesn't come, he doesn't show up. Did he leave you? You should expect that much after what you said.

You lie down on your bed, hugging his pillow, feeling his scent and crying until the exhaustion from the day makes you fall asleep.

You're awake with rustling in the room, you open your eyes widely, seeing Changbin packing. Oh, he's leaving you already? Without even trying to talk?

You feel your tears showing up again and a sob escapes your lips, being followed by more sobs and wailing, making the man turn around to look at you scared.

“Hey, what's wrong?” He runs to you, jumping on the bed by your side and hugging your body, squeezing your cheek on his chest while he caresses your hair. “Did you have a nightmare?” He asks, worried and you shake your head.

“You shouldn't be nice if you're going to dump me”, you cry more, sobbing in his arms.

“Excuse me?” He holds you by the shoulders, pushing you away so he can look at your red and puffy face. “What are you talking about?”

“You're packing because you're calling off the wedding, right?” You point to the bags, “you hate me now, I know you do”, you cry more, burying your face on his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears.

“Bunny, look at me”, he repeats his action from before, pushing you so he can look at your eyes. “Why would I leave my beautiful and kind fiance?” He asks, smiling gently at you.

“Because I was mean, I didn't really mean that we shouldn't get married, I really want to marry you”, you start mumbling, making him chuckle.

“That's great, because I still really want to marry you too”, he clarifies, coming closer and kissing your forehead. “I was packing because I'll be kidnapping you today”, he smirks, watching your eyes glow with expectation.

“Where are we going?” You ask him but he shakes his head.

“It's not a kidnapping if you know where I'm taking you”, he looks at the watch on his wrist, “you have exactly ten minutes to get ready, if I come back here and you're not done I'll take you with me anyway”, he informs you.

“Binnie!”, you pout, “I can't even take a shower in ten minutes”

“Too bad for you then, you better get to work. Tik tok”, he jokes, making you huff, jumping from the bed and running to the bathroom.

You take the quickest shower you have ever took, hurrying to the bathroom counter to brush your teeth with one hand while brushing your hair with the other, thinking about what you're going to wear. You're sure this is his revenge, he's torturing you because you were mean to him.

You figure you still have two minutes before he shows up, so you put on jeans and a long sleeve shirt.

“Times up”, Changbin's head pops on the door, a smug smile on his lips.

“I didn't even put any makeup on”, you plead, looking at the things you need right in front of you.

“Nope, don't even think about it”, he walks up to you, chuckling when you pout. You're ready to fight him on that, when he grabs you by the hips, throwing you on his shoulder.

“Binnie! What are you doing?” You kick and wiggle trying to make him release you.

“It's not a kidnapping if you go with me willingly”, he points out, making you laugh, he's unbelievable. This man is insane.

“I can't believe you”, you sigh when he drops you on the passenger's seat of his car, fastening your seatbelt. You watch as he walks around the front of the car and gets in the car. While you watch him turning on the engine and starting to drive, you wanna cry again. You just love him too much.

“I'm sorry about yesterday”, you bite on your bottom lip, “I was really exhausted and angry but that's not an excuse to say those things to you”

Changbin nods, stopping at a red light and looking at you.

“Let's just say we are even now”, he grins, grabbing your hand and giving you a quick peck on the lips.

When you arrive at the airport, he tells you to cover your eyes the whole time until you get into the plane, making sure you have no idea where you're going. When you finally see Jeju island through the plane's window, you look at him excitedly, just to find the man taking a nap. He must have stayed awake all night long, making this trip happen. You watch as his chest rises and falls, slowly, his dark hair covering his eyes.

You really don't know what you would do if he really had called the wedding off, maybe you would have begged but something you're sure is that you wouldn't be able to let him go.

As soon as the plane lands, you wake him up, shaking him a bit. His eyes flutter open and he smiles at you, brushing his fingers on his eyes to help him wake up.

“Shall we?” He offers his hand to you, seeing you nod and take his hand. Changbin stands up, pulling you with him, walking behind the people getting out of the plane.

You feel like the sun shines brighter in Jeju, the weather is warm and nice, like the perfect day for a trip. After renting a car, you two drive to the hotel, Changbin has everything ready with a suite already reserved for you.

You're a bit tired, after barely sleeping at night you are a bit sleepy but you won't go to sleep, you want to enjoy every minute you can with your man.

“I'm going to take a shower and later we can go to the beach”, you tell him, stepping closer to wrap your arms around his waist and to give him a peck on the lips.

“Should I let you, though?” He wraps his arms around you, “maybe I should keep you stuck in bed with me, paying for being so mean to me”, he smirks.

“You know damn well that that wouldn't be a punishment”, you step away, pushing him a bit.

“But I deserve compensation”, Changbin points out. “Don't I?” He grins, making you sigh.

You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Enough for you to be able to touch his lips with yours, feeling his hot breath mixing with yours, his scent is just intoxicating you feel like you can go insane at any moment.

He wraps his arms around your waist, pressing you against him, seizing the opportunity and pushing you against the wall. You sigh when he pulls away from you, landing kisses down your jaw and neck, sucking on your soft skin.

“Stop right there mister”, you come to your senses, pushing him away, making him whine. “Did you bring me here just to have sex?” You squeeze your eyes, judging him.

“No, I just can't resist you”, he pouts, giving in. “You can take your shower, I'll wait”

He gives you a quick kiss and turns around, walking to the bed and sitting on the edge, sighing dramatically.

You try to walk normally, but your legs are about to give in. Changbin mustn't know the power he has over you, you'll be done for if he ever finds out.

You two walk by the beach, watching the sunset. He holds your hand with both of his, caressing yours dearly while watching you.

“You know, I love you”, he says out of nowhere, making you turn to look at him. You blush, as if you have never heard that before.

“I love you too”, you answer.

“I don't think you understand the depth of my love for you, though”, he clarifies. “The fact that you thought I was going to call everything off because of a fight shows that you're not aware of the hold you have on me”, the man steps closer, lifting one of his hands to your face and caressing your cheek. “Y/N, I love you when you're kinda, I love you when you're smart and I love you when you're funny, but I also love you when you're angry, I love you when you are upset and I love you when you're sad. I love you every hour, every minute and every second of the day and unless you dump me, I won't let you go so easily.” He smiles, chuckling to your eyes brimming with tears, you're such a cry baby.

“I'm not a lyricist like you, so I'm not as good with expressing myself”, you tell him, wiping your eyes, “but I love you so much, you have no idea how much I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I promise I'll prove my love to you everyday”, you smile, giving him a quick kiss. “I don't want to wait three weeks to be your wife”

“Then, let's not wait”, Changbin suggests, kissing the back of your hand. He chuckles seeing the confusion on your face. “Let's get married today, no guests, no fancy party, just you and me and probably two strangers to be our witnesses”

“What are you talking about?” You ask, confused but you can't help the smile that grows on your lips.

“Let's register our marriage right now, we can do the big party later as we planned but right now we can do it just you and me, what do you think?” He asks, hopeful. You give him the biggest smile, throwing your arms around his neck and in a second his arms are wrapped around your waist, spinning with you, making you giggle excitedly.

You and Changbin run to the city, buying him a suit and a white sundress for you. Outside of the register office, you find two people nice enough to agree on witnessing your wedding. Your fiance prepared two rings made of flowers that would probably not last more than a day, but the important thing isn't anything like that. The most important thing is the spark in his eyes when he's looking at you, while waiting to sign the papers. The most important thing is how he presses his lips on your knuckles after putting on the flower ring on your finger. The most important thing is that you're husband and wife now. And that you'll never ever let go of each other.

[darkbluekies]

I have a request: insecure s/o is feeling down about their appearance, chubbyness and overthinking too much. Yandere preferable Silas/Dr. Kry is trying their best to comfort them ( 〃▽〃)

Silas & Dr Kry drabbles: darling feeling insecure about their appearance

Yandere!mafia x reader x yandere!doctor

Warnings: talking about weight, insecurity about appearance

A/N: I tried my best to not go into it too much because I know that it can be sensitive. I've tried to focus more on the comfort part<3

Silas

He opens the door too quickly. You flinch and try to hurry to wipe your tears. Wasn't he supposed to be out on a mission?

"I forgot my fucking keys-", he starts, but cuts himself off. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing", you whisper with your head turned away, hoping that he won't see your tear stained cheeks.

"Don't 'nothing' me, sweetheart. I fucking know when something's up."

He walks over to you and crouch down next to you on the floor. You flinch in fear and try to twist your head away, but he grabs it in his rough hand.

"Why are you crying, baby?" he asks , wiping your cheek with his thumb. "Tell me."

"I don't look good", you whisper in shame. You've been drowning yourself in the thoughts for so long that saying them out loud makes you embarrased. Escpecially when Silas looks at you with that look in his eyes — mezmerized by you.

He can't believe what you're saying, has to have a doubletake. "What?"

"... I don't look good."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

He rises to his feet and pulls you up on your feet, forcing you in front of the mirror.

"Do you see this?" he asks, gesturing with his hand towards you. "What about this does not look good?"

"My- ... my ... everything."

His jaw drops. "You've lost it. Little thing, you're absolutely magical? I can't even believe that you are real sometimes, and you dare think like this? I don't ever want to hear you talk shit again, not about my husband/wife, do you hear that?"

New tears blur your vision. You try to hold in the sob, but it aches throughout you. Silas turns you around and hugs you tightly as you cry against his collar bone.

"You're absolutely perfect", he tells you and strokes your back. "I don't want anything else than what I'm holding in my arms right now, do you understand that? I don't ever want you to think these idiotic thoughts again. I love you so much, for fuck sake. Oh, it hurts me to see you so upset. Baby ... you know what, I'll stay home tonight, my second in command will have to take my place. I can't let you be alone when you're mean to yourself. I will make sure that you know about how perfect you are until you believe me ... I don't care if that takes a week straight."

Dr Kry

"Doctor?" you ask quietly.

"Yes?" he asks and looks up from his check up list.

"Can we not ... check the weight today?"

He frowns. "Why?"

You squirm and avoid eye contact. Dr Kry sighs and puts down the paper on his desk.

"Have you been thinking things you shouldn't while I haven't been in your room?" he asks suspiciously. "In that case I want you to tell me now so that I can fix it."

"I don't like myself", you mumble and tug at your hospital gown. "How can I feel good when I look like this?"

"That's what it's about. I see." He takes your hands in his. "Y/N, look at me."

You glance up at his blue eyes through tears.

"Listen to me when i tell you this", he starts and wipes your tears, "you are perfectly good right where you are, okay? If the hospital gown makes you feel worse I will get you some pajamas or sweatset, okay?"

"It's not just that. My body ..."

"Oh, stop it. There's nothing wrong about your weight, Y/N. Nothing at all. Nothing wrong about you at all ... well, besides the reason why you are in the hospital. But nothing wrong about you aestethically. Personally, I think you are very attractive."

You blink in disbelief. "What? No."

Dr Kry smiles halfly. "Yes, I do. Listen, I don't want you thinking such nonsense about yourself, okay? And if you ever do, I want you to tell me so that I can reassure you of how good you are. You have nothing to worry about, this is all in your head, okay? Say it with me. 'It's all in my head'."

"It's all in my head ..."

"Good job."

To your surprise, he hugs you. The doctor who hates physical contact, actually hugs you.

"I know that the hours in here can become long and repetitive, but you mustn't let it affect how you think about yourself, okay? I think that you are absolutely perfect the way you are. You don't have to change anything."

He squeezes you tighter, persistent that he will make you see yourself the way he sees you — absolutely magnificent.

[thissying]

"A wunderkind," said Niki Lauda when Limburger Max Verstappen (18) won his first Grand Prix in Spain on Sunday. Her wunderkind, thought Sophie Kumpen (41), at home in Maaseik in front of the television. Two hours later the phone rang: "Wow. Mom. Actually unbelievable, huh."

21 May, 2016

Sophie was at home on Sunday when it happened. All alone, on a chair, in front of the television. "I've been in the pit box at enough races to know: I actually prefer to watch in the living room. You can't see it better anywhere else than on television. I have a fixed ritual for it. A candle on the table. Smartphone in hand. And that chair." (points to one of the dining room chairs)

"Of course, if I had known in advance that Max would win his first Grand Prix, I would have gone along. During those last two corners I was sitting in my chair cheering. When Max crossed the finish line, I cried. I didn't even cry at his birth. They were tears of relief, I think. He was finally able to show what I always knew he could do."

What role does genetics play? So far unclear. But this much is certain: if Max drove the competition away on Sunday - and was also a bit lucky with two top drivers dropping out - it was mainly a matter of years of training. "Max has been working towards this for fourteen years. He was four when he started karting. Jos and I practically lived on the circuit at that time. People sometimes think that we pushed Max. That's not true. It came from him. Once that happened, there was no stopping him. And honestly? I understand that. It was the same for me. That kick. That adrenaline. That quickly becomes addictive."

Sophie once lived in the same world as Max does today. She was successful in karting, and Jos had made it in F1. The couple lived in Monaco and bathed in wealth. But the divorce, in 2006, turned that life upside down. Max was eight, his sister Victoria six. It was decided: Max would stay with Jos, Victoria with Sophie. And while Jos focused on his son's career, Sophie looked for a job in Maaseik.

"A very difficult time," says Sophie. "I didn't see Max a lot then. He quickly started to achieve international success and he was abroad a lot with his father. I found that incredibly difficult. But I also knew: if we really wanted to pursue Max's big dream, he would be better off with Jos. I had to flip a switch for that. There were many nights when I lay in bed crying. Out of sadness, for the child I missed so much. I really had to let go of Max. I was often very afraid that I would lose him. Now that he is eighteen, I have the feeling that all that is changing. He visits me more often, shows up unexpectedly at the door more often. 'Mum, let's go shopping in Hasselt.' Max recently had to get his driver's license. He had to drive for a few days with a supervisor. He said: 'I want to do that with you, mum.' I am increasingly getting my place as a mum back. That feels really good."

"The contact with Jos is finally better again, too. Everything has fallen into place: Jos has remarried and I am also doing well. When Max won on Sunday, Jos called me from Barcelona. However, we hardly ever call each other. But at a moment like that you know: this is our child. And then it is nice to be able to share that emotion with each other and to be able to cry together. I am glad we had that phone call. It felt good to be able to do that. For Max as well."

"After the divorce, I started working for the OCMW [social welfare centre]. I believe that things in life happen for a reason. I see a lot of poverty. I see the underclass of society. I think it's good that I can show Max that. We talk about it. I want him to know that there is another world than his. That's good to keep his feet on the ground. As a mother, I'm sometimes afraid that he'll start to float. I think it's my job to prevent that. I often say: 'Max, don't get too big for your boots, boy. Be nice to people, be nice to the fans. If there are twenty fans, don't sign five, but twenty autographs.' Max knows that, how important that is. And he does that with a smile. Deep down he is very down to earth. Max is a very down-to-earth guy, actually. He now has a Swedish girlfriend - someone who also races. When those two visit: it is really very relaxed. Something to eat, a game of cards, a chat. Max really likes 'normal'. He recently got a sponsorship contract with Puma. He said: 'Mum, then I'll get a new pair of shoes!' I thought that was nice of him. That he could be as happy as a child with a new pair of shoes."

It's been a madhouse since Sunday. Both in Monaco and in Maaseik. "Even I've been overwhelmed all week. I've received 1,500 Facebook requests. The phone didn't stop ringing. Journalists called from America. It really can stop now. Just because Max has won once, doesn't mean he'll keep winning. We all have to stay level-headed about that. Things have been going really well for Max for a year and a half now. There will be a dip at some point. We better prepare for that. I always impress that on Max. 'Think carefully and enjoy it, because it could all be over tomorrow.' He then says: 'Yes, mum, I know.'"

It can never end more suddenly than with a crash. Last year Max came close to that. It happened in Monaco. His car: straight into the tire barrier. Sophie was watching. "I remember thinking: please, get out of that car. And he did get out of that car - unharmed. Maybe that won't happen one day. Or he will be seriously injured. From the moment your child puts on a helmet, you know that it can go wrong. Look at Jules Bianchi, last year. That crash was so hard that he was brain dead. They had to pull the plug. We talk about that. What if something like that ever happens to Max? At least we'll know that it happened while he was doing what he loved to do."

"When I light candles, that is why. So that everything goes well. But you do take into account that it could be different every time. I find the start especially difficult. After two or three laps that improves. When they're all driving behind each other. Should I tell Max that he's not allowed to race? That wouldn't be fair. I've done circuits myself. So who am I to stop my son? Fortunately I know: Formula 1 has become increasingly safer in recent years. Less and less can go wrong."

Sophie - an interior designer by education - was 21 when she said goodbye to top-level sport. "Jos and I saw each other so little that I chose my marriage . Now I sometimes think: 'What if?' When I chose Jos, I said 'no' to a top offer from Formula Opel Lotus. What if I had said 'yes'? I was good at the time. Although I also know: then I wouldn't have had Max and Victoria. The dream that I had to put aside myself, Max is now realizing in my place. That feels good. The sacrifices were not in vain. Because sacrifices: we all made them. Victoria too. Our whole life has been about Max. Sometimes I feel bad for Victoria. I can feel quite guilty about that. It must not have always been easy for Victoria to stand in the shadow of her brother. My daughter works in haircare now. Two weeks ago she put highlights on me. She is one of the best in her class. I am incredibly proud of her - just as proud as I am of Max. But sometimes it gnaws at me: Victoria was very good at karting as a child. What if Jos had invested as much in her as in Max? She could have gone very far, because I think she is better than me. I would have thought it was fantastic. If a woman does well in motorsport, that is still more impressive than when a man does it. Only, it turned out differently. And now that she is sixteen, it doesn't have to be that way for her anymore. She is happy the way she is. People often ask her why she is not like her brother. But then I think: let her be herself."

"Especially now that Max is getting older, he realizes those things. He knows that his sister sacrificed everything for him. They get along very well. Max will always take care of Victoria - a mother senses those things. They once made an appointment, laughing. Victoria had wanted a Louis Vuitton handbag for a long time. 'But I won't get one from mom,' she had told Max. And so Max said: 'When I score my first points in F1, you'll get one.' The day Max scored those points, he took Victoria into Düsseldorf. They bought the bag together. Victoria has been lugging her Vuitton everywhere ever since. That makes Max happy, I can see that. The bag has emotional value for him too: it symbolizes those first points."

She: employee at the OCMW. Her son: 'rising star' in Monaco. "Does Max earn a lot of money? A lot, yes. But he has a manager, who helps him manage that. That's good. Max recently missed his plane. He immediately booked a new ticket. I, with my salary, wouldn't be able to do that. But I'm glad he can, and still manages to be careful with his money. On Mother's Day, he suddenly showed up at the door. He had a surprise. He knew I was looking for a new small car. He took me to the dealership that day and bought me a car. He said: 'Mum, for everything you've done for me.' I can see him doing that for his sister someday. She recently wanted to see him drive in Bahrain. Then he said: 'Your ticket is ready, sister.' It's nice that he does that. He doesn't have to. But it's his way of giving something back." On Thursday, Max was on Belgian soil for 24 hours: the moment when Sophie could finally hold him. "I asked: Max, you're coming, aren't you? He said: 'Of course, mom. Will you cook me something nice?' I made carpaccio, a salad and some pasta. And for dessert: his guilty pleasure. Top sports always means dieting, but what is one Kinder chocolate? There are always some in the cupboard for him."

Next week Max faces his next challenge: the Monaco Grand Prix. Sophie is going to watch and is bringing a few family members along - motorsport is in the Kumpens' blood, Sophie is the niece of racer Anthony Kumpen. "Max sets the bar high. He crashed in Monaco last year. There was criticism about that. 'Wasn't he too young?' He thinks he has something to prove now. And I know: he doesn't necessarily need his mother for that. But I do enjoy being there for him."

"And. Uh. It gives me the chance to also go and see his apartment. I decorated it at the time. Going to have a look. Whether that young man of eighteen hasn't made a mess of it." (laughs)

[almond-tofuuu]

Hi I see you're opening request, so I'm here to ask for one. Thank you so much!

Plot: Zayne anger and his punishment when he find out you lied to him and get yourself in dangerous.

anon are you a mind reader?! 👀 bc I've had a draft of this sat in my wip folder for ages!!!

Hope you enjoy!! 💕

Sorry isn't enough...

Zayne x reader

Warnings: angst, lots of angst, no comfort, Zayne is mad (and possibly ooc)

Might do a part 2 (with a happy ending as an apology for this)

Zayne doesn't yell. In fact, in all the time you'd known him you couldn't remember ever seeing him lose his temper. Sure he got annoyed with you sometimes, mainly when you ignored his advice or turned up at the hospital with yet another injury, but it never boiled over into anger. He'd scold you like a child, giving the occasional icy glare, but nothing more. So when you limped into his office today, an hour late for your appointment and caked in dirt and dried blood, you were prepared to receive another lecture about safety from your primary care physician.

The minute you opened the door and took the first unsteady step into his office, you knew something was off. The air held an icy chill, causing a shiver to run down your spine, the tension increasing with every step. You could feel the pressure of Zayne's eyes on you as you approached his desk, piercing green gaze scrutinising every aspect of your appearance, taking note of every scrape and bruise, every smudge of blood that stained your skin and clothes.

"You're late." Emotionless and cold, his voice shattered the uncomfortable silence that had been present since you entered his office. Swallowing thickly, you finally meet his eyes, and immediately regret it. His expression is hard, brow furrowed and his lips pressed into a thin line. His eyes which usually hold a tenderness whenever he looks at you are dark, and swirling with a storm of fury. Zayne is pissed.

Opening your mouth, the apology on the tip of your tongue quickly dies at the sound of Zayne's exasperated sigh. "If you're planning on apologising I'd suggest you save your breath. I have neither the time nor the patience to listen to whatever feeble excuses you plan on giving." His harsh tone hits you like an avalanche, burying you in the disappointment that is practically radiating from him. "I've warned you time and time again to be careful, to prioritise your safety and yet you seem determined not to listen. I've lost count of how many times you've limped into my office. You refuse to listen to my advice yet you come to me whenever your recklessness results in another injury. Tell me, do you insist on continuing this foolish behaviour until it undoubtedly causes your death?!"

A lump forms in your throat, eyes fixed on the floor as you desperately try to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Every cruel word Zayne seethes is another knife to your heart, cutting deep and carving themselves into your flesh. And despite your best efforts, you can't stop the choked sob that escapes your lips. Because it hurts. Seeing the man who has always treated you so gently fuming with rage, steely glare freezing you where you stand, forcing you to endure the brunt of his anger. His words melt together, flooding your mind and making your ears ring as they echo on repeat inside your head. You're so overwhelmed by the crushing weight of his disappointment that you don't even realise you're crying until a cold hand touches your cheek, thumb wiping away a single tear. His breath fans your face as he exhales a tired sigh, "come here, let me see your wounds" his voice is softer now, having lost its previous venom but his outburst has left a sour taste in your mouth. You pull away from his touch, shaking your head slightly as you wipe away the tears that stain your cheeks.

"I can take care of it myself...I wouldn't want to inconvenience you any further." You utter, keeping your voice steady and void of emotion. "Don't worry, you won't have to deal with my reckless behaviour anymore. Goodbye, Dr Zayne." Turning away from him you quickly make your way out of his office, ignoring the calls of your name, determined not to let him see you fall apart completely. With each step you can feel your heart breaking more, bleeding out and flooding your chest with every crushing word Zayne spat at you. You're not sure where you're heading, vision blurring with tears, you just know that the last place you want to be is with Zayne.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Angst with a happy ending, older Eddie, reader acting like a brat. Arguments then fluff. 18+, mdni.

🎀✨💞

Sex. Just sex. That's all you were to Eddie. Knowing it and accepting it was hard for you. So much so that you were in one hell of a mood.

And acting like a major brat. At first Eddie took it in his stride, maybe you were getting sick or you didn't sleep that good.

He usually had endless patience when it came to you. You had him wrapped around your little finger yet you didn't even know it. Not that Eddie would admit it but it was true.

Despite that your attitude was beginning to grate on him and he had enough.

Eddie loses patience. "What the fuck is wrong with you today? why are you so bitchy?" He's put up with your sullenness and attitude all day and he's tired of it.

"I'm fine" you snap, there's no way you could tell him what was really wrong. That you were completely in love with him and he only saw you as a fuck buddy.

Then that would be the end of your relationship and you didn't want it to end. You had grown attached to Eddie so quickly, you'd be heartbroken if your relationship ended.

"Obviously you're not fine if you've been in a mood all day. What the hell is wrong? Clearly I spoil you too fucking much because you're acting like a spoiled brat" tears pool in your eyes and you will them away.

"So now I'm just an annoyance to you?" You question him and he shakes his head, throwing his arms up in the air.

"I give up. You're twisting my words" you look away feeling your heart sink at his words. Maybe you should just tell him? Rip off the band aid or so to speak.

Unfortunately your mouth runs away with you before you can think about it. "You're the one who called me a brat" he rolls his eyes, folds his arms across his chest and gives you a dark look.

"Because you are! From the moment you woke up to now, all I've had is you bitching in my ear even when I asked you what is wrong, you don't answer"

Anxiety claws in your veins and you don't know what to say to salvage the situation. You shouldn't have been so moody, you know that but the argument had pretty much spiralled out of control.

"Well why don't I just leave then if I'm annoying you so much?" you snap and gather your clothes. He shrugs and his body language turns cold, colder then you've ever seen.

"Maybe you should" the tears flow freely at his tone and you kick yourself as you rush downstairs. You may have just ruined everything.

You were so scared that admitting your feelings to Eddie would mean you would lose him, and it was killing you keeping your feelings a secret.

Turns out that maybe you had just lost him anyway.

...

After the argument with Eddie you feel even worse and plan to cuddle in bed and shut off from the world just for a little bit.

Eddie had other plans. It isn't long before he's at your house, quietly letting himself in and making his way upstairs. He hated seeing you cry, it was like a punch to the gut and he was anxious to make it up to you.

He was also very keen to get to the root of the problem and why you were acting out so much today. Something was bothering you for you to act this way. He wanted to find out what it was.

Your quiet sobs reach him and it tears at his heart as he enters your room and finds you curled up on the bed. Hiding away.

Tenderly Eddie stokes your hair and you turn to face him. He wipes your tears away and sighs.

"You didn't have to come over so late. I know you're working early tomorrow" you murmur and he softens as he lays beside you.

"I'm my own boss. I make my own start time sweetheart. I had to see you. Couldn't sleep without my princess beside me could I?" He settles beside you and you smile.

"I'm sorry, I was bitchy. I didn't mean to be" he kisses your hair and nods accepting the apology.

"I'm sorry, princess. I shouldn't have yelled at you or called you a brat. Please tell me what's wrong? You're obviously anxious about something" you bite your lip and he waits for you to say.

"I'm scared" you whisper to him and he feels heartbroken at this. He never wants you to feel scared or that you can't talk to him, you can talk to him about anything.

"Princess, you can tell me anything. You never have to be scared of telling me anything" he holds you close and feels you relax. You still hide your face in his shoulder as you work up the courage to talk to him.

"I'm in love with you, I know you don't feel the same way but I just wanted you to know. It's killing me not saying anything"

Eddie is stunned. This is what got you so worked up, that you were in love with him? Did you think he'd reject you?

Jesus h Christ, did you not realise that he was so in love with you too? He'd never felt this way about anyone. It scared him how deep his feelings were but he has been planning to tell you for ages.

He just wanted it to be the right time and be romantic. Turns out he had waited too long and you were thinking he didn't love you.

That wouldn't do at all.

"I'm so in love with you. How can you not see that?" Eddie caresses your cheek and you feel all of your fears slip away. You snuggle into him and peer up with pure joy on your face.

"I love you too Eddie"

All of this angst and shit could have been avoided if you had both just spoken up sooner. Both of you make a vow that night to always communicate your feelings.

But first a lot of making up was required ;)

[joyful-writings]

❀ use your voice

park sunghoon x fem!reader

word count: 369 synopsis: your quiet boyfriend loves your voice, and he wants to hear all your little noises as he fucks you (pwp... who's surprised y'all) warnings: SMUT (🔞MINORS DNI🔞), good ole p-in-v sex (protection isn't mentioned, but you should most definitely use protection at all times), hard sex but it isn't rough, allusions to overstimulation, crying but they aren't sad tears, sunghoon calls the reader "good girl" "sweetheart" and "baby", sunghoon wants you to beg for him :( a/n: i'm not dead!!! except i kinda am!!!

You were generally quiet. One to speak when spoken to during social events; never caught initiating conversations with strangers.

Of course, there were some exceptions. Particular prompts turned your mouth into a motor— TV shows, music, books, and other miscellaneous interests.

Your boyfriend also knew how to rev you up. He was one of your closest confidants, after all. And, although he wasn't much of a talker either, he knew which buttons to push to elicit detailed responses.

"Tell me all about your day today."

"Hey, did you catch up on that show?"

"I listened to that album you told me about..."

Even if it wasn't a common interest, he loved hearing you go on and on and on. Listening to your dramatic gasps, disappointed sighs, and excited giggles made him happy.

Timid questions.

Breathy moans.

Pitiful whines.

Thoughtless pleas.

Every sound of yours was a beautiful melody to him...

"Sunghoon!" You gripped his shoulders, trying not to dig your nails into his skin.

Your boyfriend didn't respond, soaking in your noises— squeaks, squeals, hiccups. His hips just slammed into yours faster, harsher. Your cunt could only suck him in deeper.

"Oh my god! P-Please-!"

Sunghoon finally replied, "Please what, sweetheart? Tell me."

"Feels so good-!" You cut yourself off, panting heavily while you felt yourself clenching. You were so close anything would set you off.

"Beg some more, baby. Beg me."

"Can't, Hoonie! Gotta cum!"

Your boyfriend maintained his speed, bringing a hand down so his fingers could pinch and play with your clit. You swore you couldn't see anything— only white —but maybe your eyes were closed too tight.

Loud, broken moans and high-pitched whines released from your throat, ringing in the air until Sunghoon chose to swallow them.

"Such a good girl," Sunghoon cooed when he pulled away, sweeping stray hairs from your face. "But you didn't beg, sweetheart. We'll have to go again."

Tears spilled at the thought. Of course, you weren't truly opposed to the act. You knew the overstimulation would be wonderful torture.

Your boyfriend wiped your crocodile tears, smothering your face with tender kisses. His next words were lightly laced with threats, almost defying his skinship:

"Don't forget to use your voice.”

a/n: hi. i know, i know... i share these plans and ideas and whatever with you all, and then i never do anything. terrible, terrible. but i am so awfully lethargic when i'm not working that it isn't funny (it's hilarious). it's been almost seven months, and i'm still figuring out my work/life balance. that being said, i have one day a month where i'm totally home alone. on that singular day, as long as i have no other plans, i will try to write. i still have ideas and things going on in my head, and i've been expressing them (via c.ai, but still... it gets the creative juices flowing). there's this big story i've been working on for a few months now. i'm trying to make sure it's perfect for y'all. i will not disappoint.

for now, though, enjoy this smaller story 💜 and happy kinktober and all that lol

[edenesth]

[7:29 PM]

Stumbling into the shared apartment with Yeosang, you swiftly covered your mouth to suppress any whimpers upon seeing your boyfriend peacefully napping on the living room couch.

After carefully placing your heels by the shoe rack, you quietly tip-toed past his slumbering figure and slipped into your shared bedroom, closing the door behind you with utmost care to ensure he wasn't disturbed from his much-needed rest.

It was only upon reaching the sanctuary of your room that you collapsed onto the bed, tears streaming down your face as you cradled your injured arm close. It had been a horrible day, marked by a minor accident at work amidst ongoing tensions with your boss and difficult encounters with customers. Throughout the day, you struggled to keep yourself together, merely waiting for this moment to release all pent-up emotions.

As you sobbed into your pillows, the door to the room creaked open, causing you to panic. Swiftly wiping away your tears, you sat up, trying to compose yourself.

"Darling, you're back already? Why didn't you come say hi to me first, hm? I've been waiting," Yeosang's voice greeted you as he entered the cosy space, "You know you could've just woken me up..."

His words trailed off as he noticed your bandaged arm and tear-stained cheeks, "I-I'm sorry, Yeo, it's just—" You couldn't stop the sobs escaping your lips at the sight of his concerned expression, cursing yourself internally for being such a crybaby.

Hearing your anguished cries, his heart clenched, and he swiftly moved to join you on the bed. He pulled you close, showering your head with tender kisses, "Hey, hey, it's okay. What happened to your arm? Are you alright? Please, talk to me, darling."

Your sobs only grew stronger in response to his care. Nestling your head against his neck, you stuttered out, "One of my c-colleagues didn't see me approaching and accidentally s-swung her envelope opener toward me. I tried to shield myself with my arm, and that's how..." You gestured to your injured arm, feeling miserable.

"I'm so sorry, darling. Why didn't you tell me? I could have picked you up from work if I had known you were hurt. And don't try to hide it from me; I know that can't be the only reason you're upset." He whispered, his lips gently pressing against your temple as he offered a comforting squeeze, careful not to worsen the pain in your arm.

The following words that left your lips broke his heart, "I d-didn't want to burden you with something so trivial, Yeo. You're already s-so busy; my work troubles must seem insignificant compared to yours."

Drawing back a bit, he cupped your face, meeting your tear-filled gaze, "What did I tell you about thinking like that? Your problems, no matter how minor you think they are, bother me if they bother you. I never want you to keep things from me again, understand? Promise me you'll always come to me first, no matter what."

He couldn't help but chuckle when your only response to that was an adorable wail, finding your vulnerability endearing as you nuzzled your face against his shoulder once more, "Y-you're the best boyfriend ever, Yeo. I l-love you so much."

Placing a gentle kiss against your hair, he grinned softly, "I love you too, darling. More than you can imagine. Now, I want you to tell me every single thing that happened at your workplace today. I'm not usually one for aggression, but I won't hesitate to deal with anyone who dared make you cry."

With a light giggle, you pulled away slightly, "Oh, you wouldn't, you little Maltese."

You squealed as he playfully tackled you onto the bed, glad to see you lightening up and teasing again as he leaned in for a firm kiss.

"A Maltese, huh? I'll show you a Doberman."

ATEEZ Masterlist

This was super self-indulgent. I had a horrible day and ended up getting hurt in a rather similar fashion yesterday. Also wanted to show Yeosang some love after all the hate he's received for his role in my current Seonghwa series HAHA

Speaking of which, part 14 of The Way to His Heart should be out by this weekend! Hang in there, my lovelies! As always, thanks for reading and lmk your thoughts! <3

Tag list: @aurasblue @marievllr-abg @itsvxlentine @minghaoslatina @huachengsbestie01 @evidive @weedforthoughtz @minkiflwr @cheolliehugs @ho3-for-yunho @cereal-simp @itstheghostofmypast @vantediary @green-agent @sharksandminhos @writingwieny @heyitsmetonid

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

[kurokawaia]

❛ HE CARES !! ❜

Genin! Sasuke Uchiha X Fem!Genin!Reader

WC; 700+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW :: same warning as my other genin sasuke work, no triggers apart from sasuke himself, x fem reader, reader is apart of team 7, reader is a genin, reader is a ninja

⋆·˚ ༘ *𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) genin sasuke x fem or gn reader where he catches them crying over something(plot is up to you) and tries to comfort them? lots of fluff and maybe hints of a closer relationship? :0 - ANON

m.list | naruto/boruto m.list | uchiha m.list

Sasuke had always been observant.

He didn't say much, but he saw things.

He saw how hard you were training.

He saw you were doing all this for him, but he said nothing, he didn't want to embarrass you.

That must have been why he'd noticed you in the first place, too. You were doing it for him, but you weren't making it obvious; you were yourself.

But today was different.

Sasuke was on his way back from his own training when he saw you sitting beneath a large tree near the training grounds. Hunched over- head resting on your knees, even from a distance, he could hear soft, muffled sounds, crying.

He felt his heart ache.

Sasuke definitely wasn't the type to get involved in other people's problems, but seeing you there, obviously crying and sad. It tugged at his heart in a way he didn't know. Sasuke had no clue what and why his heart was tugging, but he knew it had something to do with you.

He let out a sigh and then and then found himself walking in your direction. His footsteps were light, but you tensed nonetheless at the soft sound of his approach, how did you even know it was Sasuke? You tried to hastily wipe your tears away, praying to God no one caught you in such a state, especially of all people, Sasuke.

"Hey," he said softly.

You looked up, startled, face red and blotchy from crying. "Sasuke?"

He didn't say a word, at first, only knelt before you. "What's wrong?"

You quickly turned your face away, mortified to be caught sobbing, you were mentally slapping yourself. In front of the guy you liked as well? Terrible, you could just hide away in a hole right now.

"Nothing," you mumbled, trying to regain composure. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Doesn't look like nothing," he said, a little too bluntly and you flinched slightly, at which his eyes slight widened as he realised his tone.

Oh no, he thought, I don't. want to hurt her more.

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes again. "I just. I'm frustrated, okay? It's stupid."

Sasuke said nothing but waited patiently for you to continue. Your eyes widened as you felt that Sasuke was waiting for you to speak, he wanted to know how you were feeling.

Your heart was about to leap out of your chest.

It wasn't just him being in worry, asking about you. but he was also very close to you-your heart won't be able to take it.

"I've been trying so hard, you know? Training, doing my best. But it just feels like. like it's not enough. I'm not getting stronger fast enough." Your voice cracked slightly. "And I just feel. behind. Like I'm never going to catch up."

Sasuke was silent for a moment, working through what you'd said. He wasn't the best with comforting people, he just didn't get much practice with it given his dead parents and sibling, but he did grasp what you were saying.

Better than anyone in the world, in fact. Better than anyone in the world, he knew what it felt like to think you were never catching up.

"You're not behind," he said finally. "Everyone moves at their own pace. It doesn't mean you're weak."

You blinked in surprise.

It wasn't like Sasuke to offer encouragement like that.

He turned away from you, staring off in the distance, his voice softening a bit. "It's not easy. Getting stronger. it takes time. And it's frustrating. But. you're not alone in that. I get it."

And hearing that from Sasuke... Sasuke who had always been strong, always one step ahead of the rest-made something in your chest come undone. It sounded like he really did understand.

"Thank you," you whispered.

Sasuke's gaze relaxed for a moment before he shook his head quickly, almost awkwardly, He was not used to this, speaking this way, being near someone this way.

With you, though, it didn't feel as odd as he had thought it would.

He liked it.

Sasuke thinks that he might even love you.

He said again, this time with a quieter voice. "You're... not weak. You're one of the few people I actually think has potential." Your heart skipped a beat at that.  Coming from Sasuke, that was probably one of the highest compliments you could get. Lifting your head up to his face, you see the soft pink flush on his cheeks which makes your heart stutter.  He cares about you.  Truly, he does.

You didn't know what to say, so you only inclined your head a little farther, your shoulder brushing against his. It wasn't much for the moment, but it would do.

Do not copy, steal, modify, use for AI, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | naruto/boruto m.list | uchiha m.list

taglist :: @enouche @lovelyandproblematic

@sugu-love @why-are-you-still-awake

[i-am-baechu]

✩ Title: The Lovers

✩ Paring: Idol! Taehyung x Actress! Reader

✩ Summary: It's been a rule, if you date an actor or actress you have to be strong. Especially when you see them kissing another for their new drama. Why is it so hard to be strong?

✩ Genre: Fluff, romance, angst, Tae is just an insecure boy that needs a hug and smut

✩ Playlist: Only - LeeHi & Loving With All Your Heart by Domsonegongbang

✩ Authors note: Having a heat stroke sucks. I'm finally feeling better and I'm able to post this story. I'm sorry for being sick!

Prologue

"Insecurity kills all that is beautiful". - Anonymous 

It was the early morning, the streets were still empty as the sun gently entered the buildings waking everyone up from their deep sleep. L/N Y/N slowly opened her eyes when she heard a cabinet close from the bathroom. She let out a small groan and turned towards the clock on her nightstand, 07:35 am. She ran her hand through her messy hair as she let a deep sigh out. Today was supposed to be her day off, and so was Taehyung’s but it seems like things have changed.

She glanced at the door with a frown, the talk from last night was still clouding up her mind. There was something wrong but she can’t change anything if he doesn’t tell her anything. She quickly shook her head and picked up her phone to message her best friend, Kim Sejeong. 

How is he?

She looked up from the text and stared at the wall with a hard look. It was a simple question that had a complex answer. An answer that she doesn’t have, which made things harder. 

I don’t know...he hasn’t really talked to me since our conversation. 

Give him some time. 

Kim Taehyung stared at the mirror with a hard look. He didn’t get much sleep last night, who would? Seeing the person you love cry because of your own foolishness could keep anyone up. That’s what made things so hard, especially right now. He glanced down at the sink as he closed his eyes and the scene replayed right before him. 

Being center stage was normal for Taehyung. All eyes were on him as he expressed his feelings but this was different. The center stage that he became so familiar with was on fire and the only one that felt it was him. He stared at Y/N as she wiped tears away from her eyes, "Tae, why are you ignoring me?"

There was an answer but it couldn't leave his lips. He couldn't disappoint her....he couldn't see her eyes look at him with sadness or even pity. That would make him sick. All this was caused by his brain and nothing more.

He placed his hand on top of her knee and produced the best fake smile that he could muster, "I'm sorry love. I've been so tired."

Y/N glanced at his hand and then at his face, "Is that the truth?"

No..."Yes, let's go have dinner. I'm sorry I made you cry."

"Tae, just talk to me, please. I don't want to be left in the dark."

What kind of man am I? "You won't be in the dark."

I'll solve this for us, Y/N. Don't worry about my own foolishness. I'll become better for us.

He quickly snapped out of his thoughts when there was a knock at the door, “Baby, you’ve been in there for a long time...is everything okay?” 

His fingers gripped the countertop and let out a small cough, “I’m okay...I’ll be out in a few minutes.” 

“I’ll start breakfast...” 

He listened to her footsteps until the silence was choking him. He roughly ran his fingers through his hair as he was frustrated with himself. A foolish man with a brain that tortures him and it was all his fault. Nothing more and nothing less. 

ACT I [ Three Months ago] 

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." - Pablo Neruda, from his poem "Sonnet XVII" in "100 Love Sonnets"

Y/N put her coffee back down as the glare from the Hybe building blinds her. She was sitting at a cafe across the street and on this busy morning in Korea, she was hidden away by a black piece of fabric. It was another typical morning for Y/N, to get a cup of coffee and wait for her boyfriend. Nothing more and nothing less. Well...her boyfriend was someone that everyone knew and the same goes for herself. No one in the public knew that the famous actress; L/N Y/N, was in a relationship with Kim Taehyung of Bts for four years. A secret love that was in the hands of those who were close to them and that's how it's going to be until the time is right to come out. 

She whipped her head towards the door and a smile appeared under her mask when she saw her boyfriend coming in with his black coat hiding who he was. Of course, she knew it was him, she bought him that coat on their second anniversary. She had the matching one but she kept it in a special place with her other special gifts from him. 

She stood up in excitement and quickly made her way towards him. He glanced towards the sudden footsteps and smiled under his mask. She wrapped her arm around his, causing him to snicker at her clinginess, “You look extra mysterious today, love.” 

Taehyung let out a small laugh and glanced at his jacket, “You said you wanted me to dress up like Sherlock. I hope I did him justice.”

She gently picked up the material and smiled, “My favorite detective.”

He entwined their fingers together and walked back towards her table, “Speaking of detective...”

She rolled her eyes at this and looked away from his small smirk, “It’s just another acting gig...”

He rubbed her knuckles and kissed the top of her head, “It’s not just another gig. It’s a Netflix show, that’s incredible. I’m proud of you.”

“I’m just nervous because I’m working with people who have had more experience than me.” 

They sat back at the table and he placed his hand on top of hers on the table, “I think it's exciting. Tell me about it.” 

“It’s called Human Touch...I play the female lead who falls in love with the arrogant detective.” 

He continued to rub her knuckles and nodded his head, “That sounds like all the books you read.”

She felt her face get hot under the mask and she pouted under the mask, “Don’t tease me. Are we still having lunch?” 

“Yeah, but the restaurant we want to go to is closed today. Want to go to Jin’s?” 

“Ohh, that’s free food. Let’s go!~” 

Y/N and Taehyung are the friends-to-lovers story that everyone loves to read. She was Hoseok’s best friend from high school and after not seeing each other in years, Hoseok begged her to come to a concert near where she lived at the time. She just finished her second drama and her name was trending online but that didn’t mean anything to her. She was still a rookie with a famous friend. She didn’t want to be seen as a social climber. Hoseok didn’t really care about that and she finally accepted after he got his sister to ask her to come. 

She entered the dressing room and looked around with wide and curious eyes. The room wasn’t what she was expecting. Honestly, she had no idea what to expect. The room was so large that it should be considered to be a living room. There were couches that were calling out her name but she knew how expensive they were. She didn’t want to get them dirty. 

She glanced down at her backstage pass and took a deep breath. BTS was on a whole new level of fame. She worked with famous actors/actresses but this is so different. They were known around the world and were loved by almost everyone. It made this meeting even more nerve-wracking for her. 

“Are you Hoseok-hyung’s friend?”

She turned her head and she was met with brown eyes that were really close to her own. She jumped back and tilted her head at him, “Y-Yes. Who’s asking?”

“I’m Taehyung. I just wanted to meet the person that Hoseok spent a week talking about.” 

She swallowed her spit and wiped her hand on her jeans, “I hope it was good things...he knows too much about me.”

Taehyung let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “It was all good things which is why I wanted to meet you.”

“I’m nothing special.”

He shook his head and gently tapped the middle of her forehead causing her to blink in confusion, “You are special. Don’t forget that.” 

She felt her face warm and a small smile formed, “The only special one here is you, Kim Taehyung.”

“I see you as someone special, L/N Y/N.” 

Asking her out was the hardest thing that Taehyung encountered. He had never met someone that made him so nervous before. She was different but at the same time, she was something so familiar. They both liked to recreate their first date once in a while when they weren’t too busy with work. It was special for them. 

Y/N was finishing up cleaning the kitchen when she heard a knock on the door. She raised her eyebrow in confusion, she wasn’t expecting anyone tonight. She walked towards the door and looked through the small hole. 

“What the?”

She opened the door and tilted her head, “Jungkook?”

“I have a surprise for you.” 

She glanced at the clock and then back at him, “It’s literally ten at night.”

“Trust me.”

She rolled her eyes and nodded her head, “Fine, you're lucky I like you.” 

What she thought was going to be a quick surprise turned into an hour's drive. She fell asleep in the car as Jungkook held in his laugh when he saw the drool going down her face. He gently shook her and she let out a small groan, “We’re here.”

She rubbed her eyes and looked around with a confused look, “Are we near the mountains?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god, are you killing me?”

Jungkook gave her a confused look and shook his head, “What? No, why would you think that?”

“It’s night time and we’re by the mountains where no one can hear me scream.”

“Fair…Taehyung is waiting for you by the entrance.”

She raised her eyebrow at this and glanced through the glass, “He’s waiting for me?”

“Yeah, hurry up.”

She walked towards the entrance and raised her eyebrow when she saw Taehyung leaning against the entrance sign, “Tae?”

He immediately stood up straight and gave her a boxy smile, “Y-Your here?”

“Yes?”

“He was supposed to text me…never mind that.” He leaned down and took something behind the sign. Her eyes widened at the bright roses and her mouth dropped, “Tae?”

“You said you always wanted red roses and to watch the stars.”

she glanced at the roses and then at him, “I did…you remember that?”

“I always remember what you say.”

She took the roses and smiled at them, “What does this mean?”

“I want you to be my shooting star. Will you be my star?” 

It was the start of something but Y/N never thought Taehyung would see her as more. Now after four years, she’s become more confident with herself and her career. It took a long time but here she was standing strong with a smile on her face and the love of her life supporting her. 

Taehyung opened the door for her and the smell of food hit her with full force. She turned towards Taehyung pulling her mask down, “I’m so excited for this. You have no idea.”

He chuckled at this and gently tapped the middle of her forehead, “It’s because you didn’t eat all day.”

She pouted at this and pulled her mask up, “Leave me alone. Let’s go eat.” 

“Drinking coffee isn’t food, Y/N.”

“Then feeeeddd mee.” 

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Taehyung was in his studio typing away when the door opened. He leaned back in his chair and raised his eyebrow when he saw Jungkook panting heavily, “What happened to you?” 

“Jaehyun told me something interesting.”

“How does that involve me?” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone from his pocket. Taehyung continued to watch him with confused eyes, It’s eight in the morning? What could happen this early? He was met with a bright screen and he squinted his eyes at the screen to read whatever it was; NCT Jaehyun stars in a new drama with L/N Y/N. Human Touch is the highly anticipated show after the Webtoon finished in January causing fans to demand a drama. The director said it will come out somewhere between November or December making it the perfect drama for fall or winter. 

Taehyung smiled at this and looked up at Jungkook, “That’s exciting.” 

“I know, Jae said it took a while for SM to accept it but he was glad he got it.” 

“Did he read the comic?”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and put his phone back in his pocket, “He said he always wanted to work with Y/N. He really admires her.”

He raised his eyebrow at this but quickly shook the uneasiness, “I’m excited for Y/N. She didn’t think she would get the part.”

“I can’t wait to watch Noona on the screen.” 

“CUT! You did a good job L/N!” 

Y/N smiled at this and bowed at the director. It was another day that she had to film a commercial for a lip product that turned into a photoshoot and shoot. Two for one deal. Her manager walked towards her with a smile, “I have big news.”

Y/N took a sip of her water and raised her eyebrow, “Oh?” 

“Jaehyun is officially part of the cast.”

Y/N’s eyes widened at this and she placed her water on the table, “Really? That’s great. I feel like he would play the role so well.” 

“With your help, SM finally accepted it.” 

“That’s really exciting.” She felt her phone vibrant in her pocket and she took it out. She smiled when she saw it was Taehyung texting her, I saw the article. I’m so proud of you, love. 

“There’s going to be a quick meeting regarding the drama at four this evening.” 

Y/N put her phone back in her pocket and nodded at her manager, “Okay, is it with the full case? That’s really fast.” 

“The director wants to meet with the two leads, that’s it.” 

Y/N nodded her head and glanced at the director for her photoshoot, “I don’t have a problem. I think we're done taking the pictures.” 

“I’ll go speak to the director. You wait here.” 

She watched her manager go towards the director when she felt another buzz in her pocket. She took her phone out and let out a small laugh when she read the text, Why haven’t you messaged me back? :( 

I’m sorry, I was talking to my manager. I’m going to meet Jaehyun today with the director. I’m really excited to meet with him, I begged for the director to get him on this project after watching his audition tape.

Oh? You asked for him? 

It was between Jaehyun and Kyung-soo.

Those are good choices...Are we still up for tonight? 

Of course, we are!

Taehyung placed his phone on his desk as he stared at his computer screen. She asked for him specifically? Why do I feel weird about this? He shook his head and sat up straight in his computer chair, “It’s probably nothing.”

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

She opened the door to see Taehyung on the couch sitting with Yeontan. She raised her eyebrow at this and pouted, “Tae.” 

He turned his head and smiled at her from the couch, “Hey baby.”

This was weird. He usually waited by the door for her but she shrugged her shoulders and set her stuff in their right places, “You didn’t pick up when I called.” 

“Sorry, I just got out of a meeting. I didn’t look at my phone.” 

That was weird, part two. He always checked his phone but she let it slide because she knew he was busy with his music. She nodded her head and walked towards him with her slippers echoing through the apartment. She sat next to him and leaned her head against his arm, “The meeting went well. Jaehyun is perfect for this role.” 

Taehyung nodded his head and kissed the top of her head, “I’m happy for you. What do you want for dinner?” 

“Oh, Jaehyun bought me some food after the meeting. I’m okay.”

Taehyung nodded his head but he had a sharp look that Y/N didn’t notice, “What did he get you?” 

“He got me japchae and yook hwei.” 

How did he know that was her favorite? “Oh, that’s your favorite. That’s good he got that for you.” 

“It was really sweet of him to do that. He wanted to show he was grateful for me.” 

Taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head, “For?”

“Basically telling SM to give him this role. It wasn’t easy but we won at the end of the day. I’m just glad the show is going to be so good with him on the team.”

Why is she so excited for him? “I’m glad...” 

Act II [ Green Eyed] 

‘There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.’ - Lope De Vega 

“Baek-hyeon, I-I-”

He rolled his eyes and turned towards Aera with an annoyed look, “You don’t believe in me? Why?”

Aera shook her head at this, “I do believe in you-”

“Then act like it.”

Aera took a step back and looked away from him. She couldn’t see the anger in his eyes, “I’m just scared for you. It’s dangerous for you.”

“I’m a detective. This is what I do.”

“CUT!” 

Y/N turned towards the director and pouted, “What’s wrong?” 

“The lighting made a glare in the lens. We need to re-do the scene.” 

Y/N nodded her head and turned towards Jaehyun with a smile, “You did really well. I think you need to be more assertive when you say I’m a detective. It would sound better.”

“You think so? I don’t want them to hate him.”

“His personality is arrogant and he’s somewhat cold. It’s going to show good character development later on.”

Jaehyun nodded his head at her and put his fingers under his chin, “Ah, I see. I’ll make notes. Thanks.” 

She watched him go to his chair as she went towards her dressing room. Even though this morning was productive, it wasn’t a good one. Taehyung left without saying goodbye to her but he texted her saying he had a surprise morning meeting. He always said goodbye to her, no matter what. 

She sat in her dressing room and clicked on the person she wanted to FaceTime with, “Hey you.” 

Kim Sejeong repositioned her camera and waved at her, “Hey, how’s filming?”

Y/N leaned back in her chair and smiled, “It was good. We got half of the first episode done.” 

Sejeong raised her eyebrow at her tone, “What’s wrong?”

Y/N sighed and shook her head, “I think I’m overthinking.”

“You tend to do that. What’s wrong?”

“Taehyung, he didn’t say goodbye to me this morning. He always kisses the top of my head but he didn’t do it this time.”

“Did he text you?”

Y/N pouted and nodded her head, “He did…you think I’m overthinking?”

“It depends. What did the text say?”

“Sorry, I didn’t kiss you. I had a surprise meeting.”

Sejeong raised her eyebrow at this, “Is that all he said?”

“Yeah, he didn’t send his usual heart emoji to me.”

“Maybe he’s busy. It was a surprise meeting.”

Y/N nodded her head, “Maybe. The past two weeks have been crazy. I’ve been filming non-stop and it feels like I barely see him.” 

“Try and squeeze him in there. Tell him you love him more.”

There was a knock on the door and she glanced at the dark wood, “Y/N, the director is ready.” 

She glanced back at her phone and waved at Sejeong, “I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Talk to you later. Fighting!”

Taehyung sat in the practice room with a blank expression. Y/N has been so busy with filming that she’s barely had time with her. He understood but she was spending so much time with Jaehyun that he was becoming a second thought. He knows how it is, filming and all that. Logically he understands but emotionally he doesn’t. That was the frustrating part. He knew it was stupid to feel like this but he couldn’t help it.

The door opened and Jimin raised his eyebrow to see Taehyung sitting on the ground. He set his stuff on the floor and made his way to him. Taehyung was in such deep thought that he didn’t even notice Jimin sitting next to him. 

“You good?”

Taehyung jumped and turned to see Jimin’s concerned eyes, “You scared me.”

“I didn’t mean to. You look like you got stuff on your mind.”

“I do.”

“You want to talk about it?”

Taehyung sat there for a minute and thought about it. If he told Jimin then he would suggest talking to Y/N and he really didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want Y/N to know how he was feeling because it was wrong for him to feel like that. She has never felt jealous with all the dating rumors he got with other girls. He couldn’t tell her that he was jealous because of this. It didn’t make sense to feel that way. 

“No, it’s just something stupid.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Don’t worry.” 

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Y/N and Taehyung were on a date and Y/N planned the whole day. After talking with Sejeong, she decided that on her next day off she was going to spend the whole day with Taehyung. She was going to do everything they like to do together today. It’s been about a month since they really had a date, a real date. They had quick lunches but she didn’t consider those to be dates, 

She’s also noticed that Taehyung has been acting differently. At first, she thought she was overthinking but now she knew it wasn’t her mind playing games. There was something wrong with him. She kinda figured that it was because she wasn’t really talking to him or spending time with him. It was her fault that there was miscommunication and she wanted to say sorry for it. 

They walked in the private park near their apartment and she planned to have a simple picnic. It was a nice day, the sun was out after a long week of rain. It was finally sunny, it was a sign from the universe to fix their problem. 

They sat near the small pound and she took out all of the sandwiches that she made for the day. She sent the last drink and looked at him with a smile, “I made all your favorites. They ran out of your tea so I got the lemonade you like. Is that okay?”

Taehyung picked up a sandwich and nodded his head, “It’s fine.” 

She smiled at this and looked across the pond, “It’s a nice day. I’m glad I get to spend the day with you.”

“I am too.”

She looked back at him and she frowned a little, “I’m sorry that I haven’t really been talking to you that much. I feel bad...I noticed that you haven’t really talked to me. I’m sorry that I only noticed until a couple of days ago.” 

Taehyung stopped eating and stared at the pink blanket. I made her feel like this? It’s so stupid that I feel like this. It’s not worth making her sad. He put down the sandwich and looked at her with a small smile, “It’s my fault too. I have a phone, I know how to use it. Don’t apologize.”

She placed her hand on top of his and shook her head, “You always text me first. I should’ve texted you first. I wanted this date to be perfect.”

Taehyung gave her a small smile and leaned forward placing a quick kiss on her lips, “It is perfect.” 

Right before she could say something, her phone buzzed. She picked her phone up and unlocked it to see Jaehyun texted her, I was wondering if tonight we can practice our lines together. I’m having a hard time with this upcoming scene

Of course, we can. Is it the ice skating scene?

Yeah, I don’t know how to express his feelings and I can’t land my lines

Don’t worry I’ll help you. Is seven good?

That’s perfect, thanks

No problem 

Y/N put her phone back and she smiled at him, “I’m just glad I can spend time with you. I missed you.”

“Who was that?”

She raised her eyebrow and glanced at her phone then back at him, “It was just Jaehyun. He needed help with a scene.”

Taehyung felt his chest tighten. That was the second time that Jaehyun asked for help. He knew acting was hard but to ask for help constantly from her, that’s weird. Well to him. Logically it makes sense to ask for help but he didn’t want it to be her. He took a bit from his sandwich and nodded his head, “How’s it going with filming?”

Y/N took a sip of her lemonade and smiled, “It’s been so good. All the scenes look really good and I’m so excited for you to see the final product. I worked really hard.” 

“I know you’ve been working hard. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, baby. 

He tried his best to smile but it was really hard especially when his chest hurts, “How’s Jaehyun?”

“He’s been working really hard. This is his first real acting gig and he’s improving with each shoot. I knew he was the perfect choice.”

Perfect choice....”I’m glad..”

“Tae, are you okay?

“I am. Why?”

She tilted her head and frowned at him, “There’s something on your mind...I can tell. You can tell me anything.” 

This has nothing to do with you...It’s my own dumb thoughts. He leaned towards her and placed a kiss on her forehead, “I’m just stressed about work. That’s all.”

“I’ll yell at Namjoon for making you work so much. You need a break.”

My brain needs a break from everything. “You need a break too, baby.”

“Let’s watch our anime today and just watch the clouds. That would be perfect.”

“It will be, love.”

They laid back and watched the romance anime that they started together. It was a cute anime, a simple school anime but nevertheless, they loved it. Taehyung glanced at Y/N who was snuggling up into his side. She was so beautiful, especially in moments like this. He turned his attention back to the screen and his smile disappeared. He watched the female lead kiss another guy for a play they were holding. He watched the male lead leave the stage and he couldn’t help but feel seen at that moment. It was silly to find an anime to resonate with you. 

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

She sighed at the phone and tossed it onto her table. It’s been two months and Taehyung is acting worse now. He barely texted her and when they were in the same room he barely talked to her. She knew she was lacking on her half of the chorus and she knew that all her reasons were sounding like excuses now. She didn’t want Taehyung to feel like she was taking advantage of him. That was the last thing she wanted him to feel. 

She walked out of her dressing room and entered the meeting room. She bowed to everyone and sat next to Jaehyun with a smile on her face, “Do you know what this meeting is for?”

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his water, “I heard it’s about a scene.” 

“Scene?” 

The director let out a small cough and smiled at everyone, “The next scene is going to be a tough one. Jaehyun, you will have a stunt double jumping off a building while it’s raining. The scene itself is Baek-hyeon and Aera’s first kiss. Aera will kiss Baek-hyeon out of panic for his safety but Baek-hyeon will not acknowledge it because he knows it was out of panic. This scene is going to show Aera finally accepting her feelings towards Baek-hyeon. Today let’s take a break and come back tomorrow for this scene.” 

Y/N smiled at this and looked at Jaehyun, “Your first stunt double. That’s exciting.” 

“It is. I like the story so far.”

“I do too. You want to get lunch?”

“Lunch sounds good.”

They stood up and bowed to everyone as they made their way out of the office. Jaehyun opened the door for her and they headed towards a restaurant right across their building. They talked about random things, Jaehyun told her about his solo album that he was working on but he had no idea when it was going to come out. She told him that after this drama, she is going to take a small break and focus on her personal life. 

They sat together and clinked their beer bottles together, “Baek-hyeon!”

“Aera!~” 

She let out a small laugh and took her phone out to send a text to Taehyung, I’m eating with Jaehyun! I’ll be home in an hour. I love you.

Be safe. Love u. 

Taehyung stood in his bedroom and frowned at himself. This was the second dinner that Y/N missed. He knew it was his fault for not voicing his feelings but what was he supposed to say to her? “Stop hanging out with Jaehyun because I feel insecure.” That sounded ridiculous because he had no right to be insecure with their relationship. He had everything he could ask for. An apartment, a dog he loves, a girlfriend that he wants to marry someday, and a job that will help his family for the rest of his life. What more can he ask for? 

He got up and decided to take a quick walk around the neighborhood. The fresh air can help him clear his mind. He put the leash on Yeontan and locked up his house. The walk was nice. There was a light wind that put him at ease and the smell of the flowers made him think of Y/N. It was truly relaxing. 

Y/N let out a laugh and leaned back in her chair, “I would love to meet Mark. I think I would get along with him.” 

“I think so too.” 

She took the final sip of her beer and smiled, “I think I’m done for the night.” 

“Let me get you a ride.” 

Y/N shook her head and took her phone out, “I’ll do it. Don’t worry.” 

“No, let me. I want to make sure you get home safe.” 

“Fine, I’ll pay for your food next time.”

Jaehyun smiled at this and took his jacket off of his chair, “Perfect.”

Jaehyun waited for the car and opened the door for her and waved at her, “Have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Thank you, Jae. Get home safely.” 

“I will.” 

Y/N leaned her head against the glass and let out a deep sigh. She was feeling better after going out and having fun. She didn’t think about her stress at home and was finally able to clear her mind. Maybe now she could tell Taehyung how much she missed him. She rushed her way into the building and she was so excited to see him that she didn’t notice her hair tie falling out of her hair. She opened the door and she smiled when she saw Taehyung in the living room holding Yeontan in his arms. 

She rushed towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist causing him to jump at the sudden action. He set Yeontan down and turned around to see Y/N already looking at him, “Y/N?”

“I missed you.” 

He smiled to himself and kissed the top of her head, “I missed you more.” 

“I have the rest of the night off.”

“You want to relax?” 

“Can we have a bath? We’ve been so busy and I just want to be in your arms.” 

He felt warmth spread through his body and wrapped his arms around her waist, “I’ll hold you.” 

Something within him changed and she felt his tight grip on her ass as he pushed her against the wall near the bathroom. He tasted the alcohol but he ignored it because all he saw was her, “T-Tae.” 

She gasped against his lips but hearing her say his name made his mind blinded with the need of her. His grip only tightened as he ground his hips against hers, “Y/N.”

“C-Can’t we go to the bedroom?” 

“No.” He muttered, lips moving down her neck with his teeth scraping over her collarbone, “I need you now.” 

He dragged her back to the couch with his hands already ripping off her clothes as he pushed her down into the cushions. The look in his eyes was something that she missed. It’s been a while since they had sex. It was due to their crazy work schedule but that all changes tonight, “I missed you.” 

He yanked off his shirt and smiled down at her, “Missed you more.” His hands traced every curve of her body, squeezing her thighs, and his rough fingers brushing over her nipples. He kissed down to her stomach and spread open her legs to get what he wanted. Her clit in his mouth, sucking on it like he was dying. The way he worked his tongue made sure she remembered what it was like to be with him. 

He stood up and cussed under his breath, “Let me get a condom.” 

“I-I’ll be here...” 

She watched him leave and she couldn’t help but laugh. She propped herself up on the couch with her on all fours waiting for him. When he entered back, he couldn’t help the smirk appearing. He slid the condom on and rubbed her back, “Good girl.” 

“Tae, I need you.” 

He didn’t bother with responding and pushed himself into her. He felt her pussy clenched around his cock and he couldn’t help but let out a groan, “I’m the only one that makes you feel like this.” 

“O-Only you.” 

“It’s always going to be me.” 

He let out another groan, sliding deeper into her. He missed this. Her in his arms and just loving each other. It was his fault but maybe the feelings will go away now that they're together. He looked down at her and seeing her whimper just made him feel his heart swell. He rubbed her hips gently as he continued to thrust into her. Her breath caught in her throat and a breathy gasp escaped. 

She spasmed around him and she felt her body shiver at the feeling. Taehyung put two fingers in her mouth and she would never deny him. He brought the fingers down to her clit, making her back arched. He felt himself release into the condom and he leaned down kissing her neck. They pressed their forehead together and he kissed her lips, “I love you.”

“I love you more. So much more, Y/N.” 

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

“Taehyung, are you going to watch me film?” 

Taehyung smiled at her and nodded his head, “You watched me film for my music video. I need to do the same with you now.” 

Y/N smiled and nodded her head as she put her jacket on, “I’m excited. It’s one of the final scenes.” 

Taehyung put on his shoes and nodded his head, “Oh, what’s the scene?”

“Baek-hyeon and Aera kiss but they're not together yet. It’s just her realizing that she liked him.” 

“You're going to kiss Jaehyun today?” 

She turned towards him and nodded her head, “Yeah, it’s our first kissing scene and I’m hoping it’s a one-take.” 

Taehyung nodded his head and ran his fingers through his hair, “I’m hoping that too...”

She raised her eyebrow and tilted her head, “What was that?” 

“Nothing, just having a hard time putting my shoes on.” 

They got into his car and he couldn’t focus on anything she was talking about. He kept picturing her kissing Jaehyun. He knew it was for a show but seeing her kiss Jaehyun was different. She wanted Jaehyun on this project and he couldn’t let that go. She was so excited for him to be on this, how was going to focus?

“Tae, are you okay?”

He parked the car and turned towards her with a small smile, “I’m okay. Are you ready?”

“Always.” 

He sat in the background and he saw the chemistry that she had with Jaehyun. He felt his chest tighten when he saw Jaehyun pushing some hair back, touching her face gently. He watched Y/N wrap her arms around his neck and brought him into a kiss. The kiss was like their first kiss, shocking but passionate. He hated it. 

“CUT! ONE MORE TAKE!” 

This was going to kill him. He knows it. He leaned more into the chair and tried his best to ignore the kissing scene but he couldn’t help it. His eyes always moved up from his phone and watched Y/N kiss him. Over and over again. 

It's been a rule, if you date an actor or actress you have to be strong. Especially when you see them kissing another for their new drama. Why is it so hard to be strong?

Final Act [ Don’t Leave Me Please ] 

“Now my forever’s falling down’ - V, Sweet Night 

It was the early morning, the streets were still empty as the sun gently entered the buildings waking everyone up from their deep sleep. Y/N slowly opened her eyes when she heard a cabinet close from the bathroom. She let out a small groan and turned towards the clock on her nightstand, 07:35 am. She ran her hand through her messy hair as she let a deep sigh out. Today was supposed to be her day off, and so was Taehyung’s but it seems like things have changed.

She glanced at the door with a frown, the talk from last night was still clouding up her mind. There was something wrong but she can’t change anything if he doesn’t tell her anything. She quickly shook her head and picked up her phone to message Sejeong. 

How is he?

She looked up from the text and stared at the wall with a hard look. It was a simple question that had a complex answer. An answer that she doesn’t have, which made things harder. 

I don’t know...he hasn’t really talked to me since our conversation. 

Give him some time. 

 Taehyung stared at the mirror with a hard look. He didn’t get much sleep last night, who would? Seeing the person you love cry because of your own foolishness could keep anyone up. That’s what made things so hard, especially right now. He glanced down at the sink as he closed his eyes and the scene replayed right before him. 

Being center stage was normal for Taehyung. All eyes were on him as he expressed his feelings but this was different. The center stage that he became so familiar with was on fire and the only one that felt it was him. He stared at Y/N as she wiped tears away from her eyes, "Tae, why are you ignoring me?"

There was an answer but it couldn't leave his lips. He couldn't disappoint her....he couldn't see her eyes look at him with sadness or even pity. That would make him sick. All this was caused by his brain and nothing more.

He placed his hand on top of her knee and produced the best fake smile that he could muster, "I'm sorry love. I've been so tired."

Y/N glanced at his hand and then at his face, "Is that the truth?"

No..."Yes, let's go have dinner. I'm sorry I made you cry."

"Tae, just talk to me, please. I don't want to be left in the dark."

What kind of man am I? "You won't be in the dark."

I'll solve this for us, Y/N. Don't worry about my own foolishness. I'll become better for us.

He quickly snapped out of his thoughts when there was a knock at the door, “Baby, you’ve been in there for a long time...is everything okay?” 

His fingers gripped the countertop and let out a small cough, “I’m okay...I’ll be out in a few minutes.” 

“I’ll start breakfast...” 

He listened to her footsteps until the silence was choking him. He roughly ran his fingers through his hair as he was frustrated with himself. A foolish man with a brain that tortures him and it was all his fault. Nothing more and nothing less. 

Taehyung has been like this for weeks now. Ever since the kiss, she knew something was really wrong. Not even his members could answer her and that’s what made everything so frustrating. No one knew what was wrong with him. 

She was home now, filming was over with and she thought things would change but nothing. Taehyung was still acting like she wasn’t there. The next month would be when she would go overseas for the next episodes and she wouldn't see him. She needed to settle this now before things got worse. 

Taehyung entered the kitchen and she sighed at his aura. She turned towards him with her arms crossed, “Tae, Jae invited us to his concert tonight. I was thinking-”

“I don’t want to go.”

Y/N frowned at this and shook her head at this, “Why? It would be a good date-”

“I just don’t want to go. You can have fun with Jaehyun.” 

She rolled her eyes and took her breakfast, “Fine.” 

He watched her leave the kitchen and he couldn’t help but feel like shit. He continued to make her upset but she was doing this for her. If he didn’t see Jaehyun then he wouldn’t feel the way he does. It would benefit the both of them but he couldn’t tell her this. He didn’t want to explain how he felt. It was hard for him to understand, he still didn’t understand how he felt or maybe he did but he didn’t want to voice it. He looked down at his food and felt sick to his stomach, he kept fucking up and he hated himself for that. 

She ate in the living room and ignored him sitting next to her. She was just focusing on her phone and she texted Sejeong again. He doesn’t want to go to the concert with me.

Y/N...have you ever considered that he could be jealous?

What? Why would he be jealous? 

Just think about it.

She glanced up from her phone and then at him, jealous? Why would Taehyung be jealous? 

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

The concert was amazing, she was finally going to meet NCT and she was so excited to do so. She was upset that Taehyung wasn’t with her but she tried her best to ignore that. She walked towards backstage and waved her hand at Jaehyun with excitement. She gave him a friendly hug and patted his back, “You were amazing out there.” 

“Thanks, Y/N, it means a lot. Did Taehyung not come?”

She frowned and shook her head, “He didn’t want to come.” 

“I’m sorry Y/N. I thought this concert would bring you two together...not push you further apart.” 

“What do you mean?”  

Jaehyun let out a small chuckle and shook his head, “You don’t see it?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Y/N, Taehyung is jealous.”

She let out a small laugh and rolled her eyes, “He can’t be-”

“Why? Why can’t he feel jealous?” 

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows at him, “He’s never jealous. I tried making him jealous before we started dating and he never showed me signs.”

“He probably was jealous and never showed you...I would be jealous if I saw my girlfriend kiss another guy in front of me.”

“But he knows this is my job.”

Jaehyun shook his head at this, “It doesn’t matter. You can’t stop the heart.” 

Y/N looked down at the ground and then back at Jaehyun with a guilty face, “Oh my god...I noticed that he was acting differently but I always assumed it was because of me...I thought it was because I was working so much.” 

“This is why you guys talk to each other. You can solve a lot of problems by talking.”

Y/N let out a frustrated groan and shook her head, “Shut up, I don’t need this right now. I’m going home to fix it.” 

“Tell him I said hi.”

She ignored him and made her way out of the arena. She didn’t even realize how fast she was walking until she bumped into someone. She looked up to say sorry but her eyes widened when she saw who it was, “Taehyung?” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come with you. I was acting childish for not speaking up when something was wrong.”

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his waist, “No, I’m stupid because I noticed something was wrong but I didn’t do anything to fix it.” 

“No, I didn’t voice anything to you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” 

She was about to disagree but Taehyung brought her into a kiss, a sweet quick kiss. He put their foreheads together and smiled, “I’ll tell you more when we get home but I just needed to kiss you.” 

“I liked it...Jaehyun told me you were jealous. Before we go, can you tell me.”

Taehyung sighed and glanced at the wall with a guilty look, “Yeah...I was jealous. I’ll tell you more at home.” 

She nodded her head and made their way to his car, hand in hand. For the first time, they didn’t care if they were seen. The car ride was quiet as he moved his way in and out of the busy streets. She sat down on their couch and she looked up at him with eyes that made him feel safe. He ran his fingers through his hair and turned back at her, “I talked to Yoongi...”

“Oh? When?”

“When you left...”

Taehyung sighed to himself as he sat back on his bed. He felt guilty but he couldn’t see Y/N cheer for Jaehyun. It was too much for him. He grabbed his phone and dialed the person that always helped him, “Hello?”

“Hyung, I need help.”

Yoongi sighed into his phone, “Is everything okay? Did you do something stupid again-”

“I’m jealous of Jaehyun.”

“Wait, you're jealous?” 

Taehyung sighed and laid on the bed looking up at the ceiling with a blank face, “I’m jealous of seeing him with Y/N. It’s so stupid because I know it’s her job and all this-”

“Tae, you can’t control how you feel. It happens.”

“I never feel like this. I shouldn’t be jealous, I have everything I could ever ask for.”

Yoongi sighed again and Taehyung could imagine him shaking his head, “It doesn’t matter what you have, sometimes you can’t help it. It’s okay to feel like that but you have to tell Y/N. I’m going to guess you didn’t tell her.”

Taehyung rubbed his forehead roughly, “No...I was hiding it from her.”

“How long?”

“Four months....”

“Dude, you're stupid. Go talk to her, now. Before I go down there and cut your hair.” 

Y/N let out a small laugh and shook her head, “I can see Yoongi say that...Taehyung, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I felt like it was stupid. You were never jealous of what I do and I felt like if I was jealous...it would show you I’m not strong enough.”

Y/N stood up from the couch and stood in front of him. She pushed some hair back and shook her head, “You're strong to me. It makes you stronger when you talk about your feelings.” 

“I know that now...It was because you wanted Jaehyun on this project. You were so excited to be in this series that it made me feel...it made me feel jealous that you wanted him. I thought it was because you had feelings for him or something. It’s stupid.”

“Stop saying that, it’s not stupid. It’s how you feel. I wanted Jaehyun because he wanted me to help him with his acting. I also saw how well he acted in his tape and it would be stupid of me to deny him. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” 

“I just wanted to show you that I’m supportive.”

“I already knew that, Tae.”

She leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. He smiled at her and leaned his forehead against hers, “I asked for the next couple of months off so I could go with you to film.”

“Really!?”

He nodded his head and kissed the tip of her nose, “I’ll show you how I’m the supportive boyfriend. Even if I’m jealous sometimes...”

She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “My little jelly bean.”

He rolled his eyes and pushed some hair back, “Please don’t leave me.”

“I would never leave you...ever.”

Epilogue 

“I need you like a heart needs a beat” - One Republic

Y/N put her earring in when the dressing room door opened. She turned around and smiled, “You look great.”

Taehyung fixed his tie and smirked at her. He slowly walked up to her and one finger trailed from her cleavage to her chin, “I could say the same.”

She was wearing a black sequin dress that showed off her curves perfectly. Taehyung always went weak when she had bright red lipstick, it made him want to eat her out right there. Y/N pulled his tie to give him a quick kiss, “Are you going to be jealous tonight? You're going to see me kiss Jaehyun on the big screen.”

“Keep teasing me like that and I’ll make the press write an interesting story.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Why is Y/N limping?”

She felt her face get hot and she smacked his chest, “You're so annoying.” 

“But I’m yours.”

She let out a small laugh and wrapped her arms around his shoulder, “You're all mine. Forever.” As she said this, her ring shined under the dim dressing room light. The press was going to have a field day with that but they didn’t care. This was their universe and we were just living in it. 

[yoongiseesawmp3]

ceilings - san

summary: pe teacher!san x single mom!reader. your kid is finally ready to go to school, and you're spiraling. thankfully, you find friendship with your kid's teacher and she becomes determined to become your best friend. simultaneously, she tries to set you up with the cute pe teacher, but you know him from somewhere deep within your past. can the truth come out without jeopardizing your future?

word count: 12.4k

warnings: afab reader so gendered terms, mentions of accidental pregnancy

masterlist / part two

"violet, come on, we're gonna be late!" you shout to your daughter. it's her first day of kindergarten, her first day of real school, and you're so close to tears. you want to cry because your baby is growing up, because you won't get to cart your little mini me around with you everywhere now, because you're so stressed about getting her to school on time. it's been a rough morning, and your daughter taking her sweet time is not helping.

"i'm almost ready!" she shouts back from the bathroom, and you suppress a groan. what does a five year old have to primp for?

"one more minute and i'm dragging you to the car!" you threaten lightheartedly, knowing she'll only take it to mean she has a minute before you go and help her.

"i'm done," she says proudly as she appears in the doorway to the kitchen. hands on her hips she asks, "how do i look?"

"ridiculous," you laugh. "is that my shirt?"

"and my belt!" she defends herself. "i thought it was cute."

"it is cute, baby, but maybe you should wear something more comfortable for the first day?" you offer. you shuffle over to the laundry basket you left on the stairs and dig around for an outfit, handing your stubborn daughter some jeans and a sweater. "just wear something comfy today, and later this week you can dress silly."

"i wasn't dressed silly, i was dressed like you," violet mumbles, and you roll your eyes. your daughter definitely got your sass, and your stubbornness, but the resemblance kind of stops there. she's a spitting image of her father, a constant reminder of the mistake you made when you were younger. but it wasn't really a mistake, was it? if it brought you the one thing that's made you happier than anything before, it wasn't a mistake at all. violet was the best thing that ever happened to you, and again, the waterworks threaten to fall as you think about dropping her off for her first day of school. a day, you realize, you're late for.

"c'mon sugar, we gotta go!" you shout, grabbing her hello kitty backpack. "i've got your stuff, meet me in the car!"

-

you work close enough to violet's school that you can be one of those annoying carpool parents swarming the school grounds every day. while violet may hate it, you're so excited for all the memories that will come from these trips to and from school each day. like today, you'll always remember how violet started crying a few minutes down the road, claiming she didn't want to go to school because she didn't want to eat school lunch.

"it's not that bad, vi." you tell her as you peek at her through the rearview. "i remember loving some days of school lunch so much i would always go, even if i was sick."

"but you only liked some days," she sniffed. "what if i don't like any of the days?"

"then i'll pack you a lunch," you assure her. "just try it this week, every day, because some days will be better than others. then if you don't like any of it i'll start making your lunch. how does that sound?"

"okay," she nods, her sad little sniffles clearing up. "thank you mommy."

"we're almost there," you say quietly, more to yourself than to your daughter. "are you excited, sugar?"

"kinda," she admits. "i'm excited to see miss jen!"

"she's gonna be a great teacher," you agree. "you're gonna learn so much, and you're gonna have so much fun with her and all the friends you're gonna make. right?"

violet nods again, and you're satisfied for now. you're sure your baby is alright to go off to school for the first time, at least for the time being. surely there will be another thing to freak about later in the day, but for now you need to worry about navigating this carpool line. a man in workout clothes with a haggard looking traffic vest is directing traffic, and while you pass him, you feel your heart skip a beat.

it can't be him, right? there's no way he works here. it can't be. you keep driving, following the cones until you pull up to the sidewalk and a very kind looking teacher approaches your car with a soft smile.

"good morning!" he chirps. "i'm mr. kang, the librarian," he says as he stoops to peer through your window. his gaze goes to the backseat, asking violet, "are you ready for the best day ever?"

she nods shyly, and you watch as she undoes her car seat and slides out of the car with her too big book bag engulfing her frame as she walks away. you shout her name and she turns, a nervous look on her face.

"have a great day, my love!" you blow her a kiss for good measure, and you carry the way she smiles proudly with you for the rest of the day. the man in the traffic vest is all but forgotten, but he watches from afar in confusion. was he seeing things, or were you really here dropping off a kid? a kid, in fact, who looked exactly like he did at that age. weird, he thinks, but he shakes it off and continues directing traffic, wondering how he could find a way to introduce himself over the next few days.

-

when you were younger, your parents always supported you academically, but they were never involved with the school itself. pta meetings were not their thing, and it was a struggle getting them to take off work for a parent/teacher conference. you had decided early on that you would be one of those involved parents, one that knew your kid's teacher well and participated in room mom activities. you were texting violet's teacher last night, actually, asking if there was anything you could bring to help celebrate the first week, and she was eager to have the help.

she'd asked you to bring lollipops, so on thursday afternoon you're searching for a parking spot before school lets out. you were going to drop the goodies off at violet's classroom and help jen with the goody bags during dismissal, quick and easy. except, an intimidating figure walking toward your car may not make this process as easy as you'd have hoped.

san saw your car pull up and immediately stepped out into the parking lot. as the unofficial carpool guardian, one of his daily jobs is stopping parents who try to cheat the system by taking up faculty spots so they can be first in line. san didn't know it was you or he would've approached with a different demeanor, but today was rough. he had at least two criers per class and one kid who ran so hard after lunch he puked outside san's office. he wasn't in the mood to deal with a privileged parent, so he lets out a deep sigh as he approaches your now open window.

"ma'am you can't park here-" he starts, but as soon as his eyes meet yours he chokes on his words. "y/n?"

"hi san," you smile shyly, heartbeat racing. "so i can't park here? there weren't any guest spots out front, and i need to take something to vi's class-"

"vi?" san questions, and you let out a deep sigh of your own.

"violet," you tell him. "my..my daughter."

"i thought that was you the other day," san admits, and you nod in confirmation. "well, um, if you're just coming to drop something off, you're all good, you can leave your car-"

"oh really? i can move, it's no problem-"

"no, no, don't worry about it-"

"are you sure?" you ask, finally stopping the awkward back and forth. "you won't tattle?"

"pinky promise," san laughs, holding your door for your as you get out. "but i'd sneak out before carpool starts up if i were you, it'll be hard to pull out once the lot fills up."

"got it," you nod graciously, slipping your hand into the backseat to grab the bag of candy. san is still standing there, so you clear your throat and try to leave. "well, thanks for letting me-"

"no worries-"

"it was good seeing you-"

"yeah, yeah..." san trails off. once you're a few feet away he calls your name. you turn to see what he needs, and he thinks about it before shrugging. "never mind," he says. "it was nice to see you."

"bye san," you manage to get out before you turn the corner, hands sweaty and heart doing funny flips in your chest.

you hadn't told violet about your visit, so when jen lets you into the room you hear an excited squeal followed by a pair of small arms wrapped around your legs. violet looks up at you proudly, a spot of something on her cheek. you forget sometimes, just how much she looks like san, but your exchange outside has him fresh on the brain. she has his smile. you shake the thoughts from your head and try to take a step, but violet won't budge.

"hey sugar," you laugh, ruffling her hair with your free hand. "go back to your seat, school's not over yet."

"but-"

"violet, do you want to show your mom where to put the bags she brought?" jen offers, and you send her a thankful look. violet tugs on your hand, bringing you over to the "treasure box" which is really just a filing cabinet jen must have filled with candy and toys. violet shows you each drawer, and you make her look away as you place the candy in it's appropriate drawer so it won't ruin the surprise for now. satisfied with her work, violet goes back to her seat as the bell rings for dismissal. you organize some of the other things you brought on jen's desk as she goes over reminders for the class, and then the first few rounds of students start leaving.

"thanks for bringing all this," jen says as she joins you.

"do you need help putting them together?" you ask, and she thinks for a moment.

"no, i don't want to keep you," she starts.

"well, i think i'm stuck for a while anyway," you inform her. "i had to park in a faculty spot, and carpool-"

"oh yeah, you're definitely stuck," jen laughs. "let me get everything set up, and then you can start while i help the rest of the kids leave, if you don't mind?"

"not at all!" you assure her, looking out to find violet watching you both like a hawk. "do you think we'll need another set of hands though?" jen follows your gaze and laughs before waving violet over. the three of you get everything set up, and you ask violet about her day as jen organizes the next group of kids for bus call.

"it was good!" violet says happily. "i liked lunch today."

"what did they have?"

"chicken sammiches," she says, and you laugh.

"sandwiches, baby," you tell her. "sammiches is a me and you word, but some people may not know what that means."

"i like chicken sandwiches and chicken sammiches," she nods. "and then we had pe and a boy in my class threw up. he had pizza."

"gross," you crinkle your nose. "you liked pe though?"

"yeah, it was fun!" violet goes off on a tangent about all the games, and jen rejoins you to help finish the bags. the three of you fall into comfortable conversation with violet as the life of the party. you like jen, you find yourself thinking. you hope it's not weird to be friends with your kid's teacher, because you could really use one here. you're lost in that thought, so you don't notice when someone appears in the doorway.

"mr. choi!" violet chirps, abandoning her task and rushing to meet him. never met a stranger, your child, because she's tugging his hand and bringing him over to you. "this is mommy."

"that's not her name though, is it violet?" jen asks, ever the teacher.

"y/n," san nods, and you don't miss the way jen looks from you to san to violet and back again. "did you get tricked into staying late?"

"no, i offered," you reply. "but i didn't have a choice, i didn't listen to your advice and couldn't leave before carpool started."

"you're all good now," he says, holding up his reflective vest all crumpled in his big hand. "just sent the last kid home."

"good to know," you nod. "vi, where's your stuff? we'll leave soon."

"no!" she whines. "i don't wanna leave!"

"don't you want a snack though?" you tempt her, and that sends the mini menace into motion.

"to what do i owe the pleasure of you stinking up my classroom, choi?" jen asks.

"i wanted to talk to you about the kid that threw up today," he says, and you must look at him confused because he asks you if anything's wrong.

"are you the pe teacher here?"

"yep," he answers. "i didn't know this was your violet," he says, nodding his head toward your kid. "she's a sweetheart. ball of energy too."

"you're telling me," you smile softly. violet walks over then, informing you that she's ready to go. you ask jen if there's anything else you can do, but she insists on you taking violet home.

"you've helped enough, believe me," jen tells you. "i'll see you tomorrow violet!"

"bye miss jen!" violet says with a smile. "bye mr. choi! i hope no one pukes on you tomorrow!"

jen waits for you and your kid to be far enough down the hall before she asks calmly. "so. how do you know y/n?"

"we, uh, we go way back," san says. "went to school together, college, all that."

"oh, so you like, really know her," jen says, a plan brewing in her head. she saw the way san looked at you. she also knows you're single. "you didn't know her kid went here?"

"didn't know she had a kid at all," san shakes his head, and he seems to get lost in a thought before he remembers what he came here for. "anyway, this kid today, you gotta tell him not to eat so much before pe..."

-

you and san didn't grow up together, exactly, but you have known him since high school. you floated around similar groups of friends, so you hung out regularly without ever getting too close. it wasn't until college that you actually became friends. you both went to a local school, at least as local as you can get for your small town. living in a city all by yourself was intimidating, but you weren't worried about not making friends. you knew they would come.

the day of your orientation, san saw you sitting by yourself in the auditorium and immediately recognized you. he brushed off his sweaty hands before walking over and softly calling your name. when you registered who he was, you smiled and invited him to sit next to you. both happy to see a familiar face, you spent the rest of orientation attached at the hip. in fact, you spent the rest of your time at school like that. san was your best friend, nothing more. he didn't always feel that way, but he did a good job of hiding his feelings. he was able to hide how he felt about you all the way up to the final semester of your senior year.

you were thriving, one of those seniors itching to finish school and get out into the real world. you knew you were just months away from a successful career, and you wouldn't let anything get in your way. you liked that you didn't know what was coming next or where you would end up after graduation. the prospect of moving to a new city, hell, maybe a new country, was exciting. this restlessness is what made san speak up. he was ready to graduate too, sure, but he was ready to get out of the city. san always wanted to be a teacher, and he already had offers all across the state, but the only job he cared about was in his hometown. it's where he wanted to be, and he knew that if he didn't tell you how he felt now, he may never get the chance. he wanted you to know so he could at least have a chance with you, even for a little while.

so he confessed, one night early in the semester. he was walking you home, his dorm only a few doors down from yours. at the door to your dorm he pulled you into a hug, which was normal for him. san was always a touchy friend, but what he said as he pulled away still bounces around in your head.

"y/n, i think i'm in love with you," he said earnestly. you looked in his eyes, trying to find the beginnings of a smile, some hint of a secret, that this was a joke. but he was serious. when you didn't say anything he shrugged, stepped away, and added, "i just wanted you to know."

you still don't know if it was shock or fear that kept you from saying anything that night, from calling his name and pulling him back in. but you didn't say anything then, you didn't say anything for months. san pretended like it never happened, and you just went along.

it didn't come up again until the going away party at the end of the year. school was over, finals done, and graduation was days away. everyone wanted to celebrate the past four years and freak out over what was next, all sharing where they were going and how scared they were. san was moving back home to be a teacher and wasn't scared at all. you were leaving for a bigger and better city the day after graduation and you were terrified.

later, san pulled you to the side and asked if you were ok. you knew he was referring to the job stuff, but you had other things on your mind. you were a little tipsy, so you decide that's why you leaned in and kissed him. it was quick, soft, barely a kiss, but you did it. you kissed him and pulled back faster than san could think, his eyes still closed when you parted and said, "i just wanted to know what it would feel like."

you were able to avoid him for the rest of the party, enjoying your last few hours with some of your best friends. you had an early morning, so you stopped drinking before everyone else and found yourself as a designated walker at the end of the night. you and san were elected to walk a few friends back to their dorms, dropping them off as you passed each building on your own walk home. inevitably, you were left alone with san at your door like that night months ago. san looked like he wanted to say something, and you didn't want him to leave, so instead of separating at the door you invited him in.

you'll never forget that night, and neither will san. but with your paths parting in a few days, you thought it would be something you could move on from eventually. a few weeks later, in your new city, at the perfect job, you found out you were pregnant. it hurt, the decision to not tell san, but the thought of stopping your life before it even started hurt more. you figured you would never see san again, or that you could at least keep the kid a secret if you ever hung out with your college friends again. you never thought that you'd somehow end up moving your daughter to the neighborhood where san grew up, or that the great school you fought to enroll her in could possibly be where san currently worked. but that's life, isn't it? or fate. or maybe just dumb luck. whatever it was, the universe was trying to get you to tell the truth and you're not sure you're ready to do that. to yourself, to violet, or to san.

-

san can't stop thinking about you. he tries so hard to catch a glimpse of you during carpool, but he's too busy focusing on a million other things and never manages to find you. he tries to think about how he could use violet to talk to you, like sending a note home with her, but that's inappropriate. he needs to see you again, though. that's when he gets an idea.

you and jen have become genuine friends, which has made things confusing for violet only because she treats jen like her teacher in casual settings. you met up for dinner the other night and violet raised her hand to ask jen a question, so hopefully she'll get used to it. san knows you two are close, and he knows if he asks jen about you she'll tell him whatever he wants to know.

at lunch one day he finds jen in the teacher's lounge and motions to the empty seat at her table. she lets him sit, but warns, "wooyoung saved the other seats for himself, so leave now if you want to."

wooyoung, one of the third grade teachers, was actually one of san's best friends. he's a hand full, yes, but fiercely loyal and caring. san doesn't necessarily want him to hear the conversation he wanted to have with jen, but oh well. as soon as san has that thought, wooyoung is bursting through the door with a stack of plastic containers from the lunchroom in his arms.

"m'lady," he nods to jen as he passes her a container. he looks to san and asks, "you want one bro?"

"what's in it?" san asks skeptically, and wooyoung shows off a stack of chicken sandwiches. "seriously?"

"hey, they're really good," jen pipes up. "the kids are lucky they get to eat these."

"how did you get so many?" san asks wooyoung as he takes a sandwich anyway.

"flirted with the lunch ladies."

"course you did," jen rolls her eyes, taking a bite of the sandwich. she chuckles to herself, and then shares, "you know, there's a kid in my class who calls these sammiches? no matter how many times you correct her, she won't say anything else. she told me this morning she didn't want to come to school, but she did because it was sammich day."

that's violet. san knows it is. he heard a snippet of your conversation in jen's classroom weeks ago, but he also knows he's heard violet say something similar when she comes to the gym. she loves those sandwiches, and san must admit, now that he's tried one he gets the hype. this is his shot though, he thinks to himself. he clears his throat and asks, "that's y/n's girl right?"

"who's y/n?" wooyoung asks, and jen responds, "san's girlfriend."

"no she's not," san says quickly. "she's kidding."

"you like her though?" wooyoung smirks, and san shakes his head.

"i-it's not like that," san explains. "i knew her a long time ago, and haven't seen her for a few years. that's all."

"so what about her?" jen asks.

"what do you mean?"

"well you brought her up," jen laughs. "you want me to tell her you asked about her? that feels very elementary of you, san."

"no, no, i was just, uh," san racks his brain for a response, "um, she's your room mom right? i may need to talk to her, for um, uh, field day."

"sure," jen nods. "i can give you her number, if you don't have it?"

"yeah, yeah," san nods too, "sure, if you think that'll be ok. i mean, i just needed to ask something, really quick, but, um, sure, yeah."

"if you really need to talk to her, she's coming in tomorrow i think," jen says, checking her phone. "yeah, tomorrow is violet's birthday, so y/n is bringing cupcakes at lunch. you can just stop by my class table and ask her whatever you need to ask her."

"oh, cool, great," san nods. wooyoung and jen share a quiet laugh, noticing that san seems like a bobblehead nodding so nervously. "yeah, tomorrow. lunch tomorrow. i'll be here."

-

you're running late. it's your kid's frickin birthday and you're late. you wanted to be supermom, make cupcakes from scratch, but work has been crazy on top of all the prep for violet's party, and you're just one woman. you can't do all of this by yourself, and it's times like these that you wish...no. that's not where you're going to let your mind wander today. today is all about violet, so as you rush out of the grocery store, you handle the store bought cupcakes with intense care. you can't be late and show up with smushed cupcakes.

thankfully this town is small enough that everything is within spitting distance, so you arrive at violet's school with just a few minutes left in her lunch. you hurry through the check in, rushing off to where you hope the lunchroom is. it would be just your luck to get lost right now, but you let out a breath of relief when you turn the corner and see the cafeteria ahead. you have to pause at the door to look for her class, and you hold back a sob when you see one very broad shouldered man sitting next to your beautiful daughter. you manage to walk up without violet seeing you, but at the sound of your footsteps, san turns. he smiles at you softly and he looks so much like violet it hurts. your eyes drift to your daughter, who's noticed you now and bounces in her seat.

"hey birthday girl," you say meekly, clearing your throat before you speak again. "how's your day been?"

"good!" violet smiles, showing you a half eaten vanilla cupcake with purple icing. "mr. choi brought me birthday cake!"

"aw, that's sweet," you say, looking to san. he's staring at you intensely as you ask, "did you tell him thank you?"

"i did!" violet confirms, but she turns to san and repeats, "thank you, it was yummy."

"do you have room for another?" you ask her, holding up the cupcakes you brought. violet already looks ready to bounce off the walls, so you'll have to apologize to jen later, but you ask if she wants to help pass out cupcakes to her friends. you hold the containers as she carefully hands out the treats, and you're pleased to know there were plenty of cupcakes for everyone. actually, there's some left over, so you start packing them up to take home but violet stops you.

"mommy, we need to give mr. choi one," she tells you, and you look to san sheepishly. "and there's one for you too, mommy!"

"i guess we're having cupcakes," you chuckle with san, offering him one of the last two cupcakes. "vi, can i take your spot?" she nods eagerly, letting you sit on the hilariously tiny lunch chair. you struggle balancing on it and look up to see san watching, trying not to laugh. violet is oblivious though, icing smeared all over her face as she talks to her friend across the table. "hey, no laughing. it's been a long day."

"sorry," san says, the remnants of a smile still on his face. "you doing alright?"

"i'm fine," you sigh slightly. you look at san again, really look at him, and you feel your heart constrict. "thank you for bringing her a cupcake."

"oh, sure," san says. "i didn't want to overstep, but jen told me yesterday, and i figured violet could at least take it home, but when i got here and didn't see, uh...you weren't here-"

"you can say it, i was late to my own kid's birthday," you laugh, rubbing your hand over your face. san finds himself staring at your fingers and something pops into his head.

"and again i ask, you doing alright?" he laughs with you. "being a parent must be hard."

"it has its bad days," you admit. "but for every bad day there's hundreds of good ones, so it makes the whole single parenting thing a little easier."

there it is. single. san looks down to your hands again, and has to hide his satisfied smirk. there's no ring.

"so, what-" san starts to ask, but the bell dings and the cafeteria erupts in even more sound. students talking, teachers yelling, chairs scraping as everyone is set in motion. jen walks over then, smiling when she sees you and san sat so close together. she waves hello before calling for her class, and you give violet a big squeezey hug and a kiss on the forehead before she takes her food and runs off. san watches you watching violet, and now it's his turn for his heart to twist. he's missed you. a lot.

"i guess i better go," you say as you gather all of the cupcake trash. san covers his hands over yours, stilling your movements and your heart, and says, "let me, i'll clean up."

"th-thank you san," you say shyly, and he waves you off. he can feel your eyes on him as he walks to the trash cans, and he can't help it, when he turns around he pulls a face that used to always make you laugh. his success rate is still high, because a beautiful giggle appears from deep within your chest, and then san is standing back in front of you. you know him, and you know there's something he wants to say, so you ask, "are you doing alright?"

"i'm fine," he nods, and you playfully push his shoulder. he smiles as he goes on, "actually, i was thinking about it, and i'll need your new number. for field day purposes, of course."

"oh," you breathe. "oh, right. room mom stuff. um, well unless you deleted my contact info, my number is the same."

"oh."

"yeah."

"right, then i guess i'm good," san says, looking around for any last bits of trash. "always good seeing you, y/n. tell violet happy birthday again from me."

"will do," you squeak out, calling out your thanks to him one last time as he walks away. you're left in the now silent lunchroom, heart and mind racing.

-

"i'm just saying, you and san would make a cute couple," jen repeats for what feels like the millionth time today. she's come over to your house early to help set up violet's birthday party, and you're thankful for the help but wishing the set up was less obvious. "you already know each other, so it's not like you'd have to go through that awkward dating phase-"

"did we put balloons on the mailbox already?" you cut through her words, grabbing a couple pink and purple balloons from the pile on the table. "i'll do that now, so people know which house it is. if vi wakes up, tell her i'll make birthday pancakes as soon as i'm done."

"will do," jen salutes you, taking the remaining balloons into the living room. "i'll tack these to the ceiling or something."

"please don't!" you call out before you shut the door, and you take a deep breath when you're outside alone. you don't know how to make jen stop talking about san, and it's draining. you've tried changing the subject and she always finds a way to bring san back into it. she means well, you know that. but what she doesn't know is that everything she says about san just rubs salt in the wound you inflicted on yourself, and it's getting harder to ignore. you're either going to snap and tell her to shut up, or you're going to snap and admit to what you've been hiding. either option isn't ideal, so fingers crossed violet wakes up soon and you can use her as a buffer.

tying the balloons to your mailbox ended up being more of an ordeal than you thought, so it takes you a while to trudge back into the house. you're tired already and the party hasn't started yet. you're making another cup of coffee when you realize the house is quiet, no sounds of jen and no sounds of vi. you let the coffee pot run as you walk around in search of the girls, and you hear a faint noise coming from the backyard. a peek through the window shows jen and violet running streamers from the back porch to vi's playset, and your heart warms. while they're outside, you get to work on the birthday pancakes in peace. you're almost done with them when you get a call, groaning to yourself thinking it's a parent calling about the party. you don't check the name before you answer, letting out a perfectly nice, "hello?"

"y/n, hi," san says on the other line. "is this a bad time?"

"um, n-no," you stammer, "it's um, no, i can talk. just for a minute."

"if you're busy i can call back-"

"no, san, go ahead," you insist. "just be warned i'm making pancakes, so i am a little distracted."

"oh yeah, you used to suck at those," san teases, and for a moment you're thrown back to college. you remember san staying over at your dorm, claiming he was too drunk to walk the fifteen steps down the hall. you let him crash on your floor, and he woke up to an awful hangover and the sound of you cursing over your batch of blackened pancakes. trying to be nice, san tried one anyway. you'll never forget the way you both belly laughed after he lied and said they were good with a look of fear in his eyes. later he admitted he'd never had something so bad, and you swore to never make pancakes again. san obviously remembers, because he asks, "what made you stop the pancake ban?"

"they're for vi's birthday."

"her birthday was on tuesday i thought?"

"yeah, but we're having her party today," you explain, and then you clap your hand to your forehead. you shouldn't have said anything.

"oh then i won't keep you," san says quickly. there's something strange in his voice, but you're so far removed from him that you can't pick up on it. "i hate to call about school stuff on the weekend, but this is the only time i had..."

while san explains the reason for his call (room mom duties + he missed you, but he leaves that part out), jen and violet come in from the backyard. streamers are done, and violet is wearing a torn one around her neck like a scarf. you wave her over for a hug and a kiss, and jen mouths, "who are you talking to?" so you show your phone screen. she gasps when she sees it's san, and it's like you're watching a lightbulb spring from her head. she's got an idea.

"invite him to the party!" jen hisses, and you push her away.

"is that the birthday girl?" san asks, and there's a softness in his voice that makes you melt. "do you need to go?"

"no, just one of the birthday elves being annoying," you grumble, trying to elbow away from jen but she grabs your phone anyway and says a cheery hello to her coworker.

"hey san! happy saturday," she starts off. "listen, are you doing anything around, say, one o'clock?"

"uh, not that i can think of-"

"great! then i'll have y/n text you her address, you should come to violet's party. there's plenty of food, and we'd love to see you!" jen says with an evil smile plastered on her face.

"um, can you hand me back to y/n?" san asks, and jen relinquishes your phone then disappears.

"san, you do not have to come if you don't want to, jen is-"

"jen's what!?" jen shouts from somewhere within your house.

"i want to come," san says, and you're so surprised you almost drop the pancake you're trying to flip. "if that's ok."

"i..." you trail off, and then you look at violet. sweet, lovely violet. you would do anything for that girl, but you know she deserves more. she deserves both parents, and the little part of you that's been wondering if san's reappearance was a sign is the part that wins you over. you say, "yeah, come to the party. i want you here."

"then i'm there," san says, and you can hear his smile. "should i bring a present?"

"no, god, don't worry about that. girl's spoiled already, she doesn't need another toy," you tell him, and san laughs.

"alright. then text me the address, and i'll see you soon i guess."

"yeah, see you soon," you mumble as you hang up and look around for jen. she's rightfully hiding somewhere, but violet's voice distracts you as she asks who you were talking to. "well sugar, i have an extra birthday surprise for you," you say as you plate her pancakes. "mr. choi might be coming to your party, is that ok?"

"mr. choi?!" violet shrieks as she stands in her chair. you remind her not to do that and she listens, but she looks at you and asks, "for seriously? he's my favorite teacher."

"hey," jen whines as she rejoins you, throwing away the remnants of wrapping paper in her hands. "and to think i got you the biggest coolest birthday present ever."

"really?" you and violet ask in unison, and jen nods enthusiastically at your daughter. when she joins you at the sink she whispers, "i didn't go overboard."

"yes you did," you whisper back.

"what did san want?" jen asks with that evil smile again, and you try to elbow her side but she darts away too quickly.

"i had told him about the game the kinder moms wanted our grade to do for field day, and he forgot what supplies it needed," you explain. "so he was calling about that, and the call was almost over when someone interrupted."

"y/n, listen," jen says sternly, and you both look over to violet to make sure she's distracted. jen keeps her voice down as she continues, "he likes you. don't ask me how i know, but i know. and the way you get so nervous around him, i know it sounds childish, but i think you have a crush on him-"

"jen," you say seriously. "please stop. you don't know what you're doing."

"no, y/n, you don't know what you're doing!" jen says, and you step back. "no, i don't mean it like that. i just mean, you said you were having a hard time doing this on your own. it may not be my place, but i think san could help. he'd be good for you and violet."

"you remember how san and i were friends years ago?" you ask, and jen nods, about to add to her case, but you cut her off. "we were close. really close."

"did you kiss?" jen asks excitedly and you roll your eyes.

"will you focus?" you smile anyway, and add, "we spent most of our time together, but then life stuff changed. we went in completely different directions, and it was just easier to say goodbye and go our separate ways. that was five years ago. well, six, now i guess," you correct yourself, your eyes betraying you as they flick back over to violet.

"oh my god," jen gasps. "no."

"yes."

"no way."

"yes."

"you're a liar."

"mommy's not a liar," violet chimes in, and you let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry. "miss jen, that wasn't very nice."

"i'm sorry violet, you're right," jen says calmly. she looks closely at violet and then to you. "but sometimes what's right is hard to do."

"i know that," you sigh. "believe me. but we can talk about this later."

"you bet your ass we are!"

"miss jen!"

"sorry, sorry!"

-

you and jen do a good job of ignoring the truth bomb you set off just before guests started arriving, but knowing san will be here soon keeps you on edge all day. violet is having the time of her life, which takes a little bit of pressure off of you at least. you just have to play host to your family and friends all while keeping one eye on the door for san.

he arrives just past one. you heard the doorbell from the backyard, but as you're walking through the house you see your aunt opening the door for him. it opens to a stunning version of the man you've tried so hard to hide from, and just looking at him makes you blush. he's dressed casually, but nicer than the work out clothes you see him in at the school. jeans and a sweater, and glasses. san never wore glasses in school, and you're wondering why this news is making your stomach flip. when san finds you, his face lights up. he makes his way around a group of kids and pulls you into a polite hug, mumbling his greeting into your hair. you wish time would stop for a moment, let you stay in his hold a second longer. but he's pulling away and shyly presenting a gift bag, his sheepish eyes saying "sorry but not sorry."

"i told you not to bring anything," you scoff, taking the gift over to the present table anyway.

"it's something small, but i think she'll like it," san says, and you thank him. it's awkward for a second as you both search for something to say, but in the quiet san reaches to push his glasses further up his nose and you smile.

"so you getting old, choi?" you tease him, pointing to the glasses. "how long have you needed those for?"

"just a couple years," san shrugs. "i don't mind them, but it's easier to wear contacts at work. i actually like the way they look."

"they're cute," you agree, and you feel your heart thudding in your chest as san processes the compliment. he looks around your house then, and he distractedly puts an arm around you in another hug as he says, "your house is great, by the way. you've really made a life for yourself, y/n." he looks at you while he says the next part, "i hope you're proud of yourself."

"i am," you nod, suddenly very aware of how many people are here and possibly looking at you two. you feign a cough and san gets the hint. he pulls away and you immediately feel cold, but you catch a glimpse of jen eyeing you in the corner of the room. you shake off whatever was distracting you because of the man at your side, and you're about to excuse yourself to find violet when the woman in question appears below you.

"mr. choi!!!" she shouts as she jumps in place. "you're here!"

"i am!" he replies, holding hands and jumping with violet. "are you having fun?"

"yeah! cmere, i wanna show you my swings!" she says excitedly, and then san is being dragged outside. you follow at a safe distance, wanting to see how they interact without making it too obvious you're watching san and not your kid. some of the school kids present recognize a big kid in san and soon he's got a whole herd following him around. you laugh seeing him be so silly, so freely himself with these kids, and you wonder if this is what he's like as a teacher. then you find your mind wandering to what san would be like as a dad. you know he'd be great, so what are you doing?

you know you have to tell him. you see the way violet is smiling and laughing, and you can't keep this kind of joy from her anymore. you don't know when, and you don't know how, but you will tell san that he's the father of your daughter.

-

violet's birthday party was perfect. she had an amazing time, her friends had an amazing time, and you had an amazing time. with san. he fit back into your life perfectly, and as you were saying your goodbyes at the end of the night, you had the intense desire to kiss him. you didn't, but that's only because jen came over with a sleepy violet that she thrust into your arms. you and san were cooing over the tired party girl and jen inconspicuously snapped a picture of the three of you. you and san, looking down at violet with so much love in your eyes, and violet smiling her biggest smile. jen texted it to you later and you were grateful to have this moment captured forever.

you were staring at that photo now, waiting for violet to finish getting ready for school. you weren't really paying attention to the time, caught up in admiring san. you felt a sense of calm and safety when you thought of him, looked at him, and you're kicking yourself for keeping that same feeling from violet's life. you were so distracted by your thoughts that you didn't hear violet walk up, so you almost jumped out of your skin when she says, "whatcha doooin?" directly into your ear.

"oh baby you scared me," you gasp. she giggles and points to your phone.

"you were staring at mr. choi!"

"i was not," you roll your eyes, but she nods and goes, "yeah huh."

"i'm not getting into a yeah huh nuh uh fight with you right now," you say as you ruffle her hair. "you ready for school?" it's then that you give her a once over and screw your face up in confusion. "where's that shirt from? i don't remember buying you that."

"it was my gift from mr. choi, 'member?" violet says proudly as she shows it off.

"yeah, yeah, i guess i do," you reply. "you wanted to wear it to school?"

"so i can tell him thank you," she says simply, and you place a soft kiss on her forehead. your sweet girl.

"i'm sure he'll be happy to see it. c'mon, let's go."

-

san had an awful morning. none of the classes would listen to him, half of his equipment for this unit was broken or missing, and apparently he was getting evaluated this afternoon. nothing was wrong, it was just protocol, but why did he find out about it two hours before it was supposed to happen? he was stressed, unprepared, and wearing a t shirt that apparently has a hole in the armpit. one of the unruly classes so kindly pointed that out for him. so yeah, it's been a bad day. that's why he sat down at lunch with a huff, interrupting whatever jen and wooyoung had been talking about prior to his dramatic entrance.

"what's wrong with you?" wooyoung asks bluntly, and san scoffs.

"one of those days where i'm considering child abandonment."

"san!" jen gasps.

"i'm joking, chill out," he sighs. "i just. can today be over? i'd like it to be over. or can i get a redo? that might be better, considering i have an eval today i know i'm not gonna pass."

"if you go into it like that then duh you're gonna do bad," jen says. "but it hasn't even happened yet, so why be so negative?"

"whatever," san huffs again, poking at his food like it's the root of his bad day. "how has your day been."

"great, my kids are angels and i love my job," wooyoung jokes, so san kicks him under the table.

"your class was the first one to put me in a bad mood this morning."

"yeah, because i told them i accidentally killed our class pet."

"wooyoung!" jen gasps again.

"accidentally!"

"how'd you manage that?" san asks with the beginnings of a smile on his face. not that he was laughing over the death of a very tiny pet, no. but he did enjoy seeing wooyoung making mistakes. makes the world go round, he thinks.

"i forgot to take it home for the weekend and i came in this morning to bob the beta fish belly up," wooyoung explains. he raises his carton of strawberry milk in a toast, which san and jen play along with. "he didn't live long, i didn't like him, and the kids barely knew he was there. bob, may you rest in peace."

"this isn't making me feel better," san whines as they clink their drinks together.

"oh!" jen says happily, "i have something!" she shuffles around looking for her phone, and excitedly pulls something up for san to see. she shoves the screen so close to his face he can barely see anything, so he takes her phone and blinks to let his eyes adjust. he smiles immediately when he realizes it's the picture of him, you, and violet. he's so mesmerized by your beauty, all these years later, that it takes him a minute to shift his focus to the equally beautiful violet squeezed between you. she's perfect, san thinks. if he had a kid, he'd want her to be just like violet: kind, funny, full of energy and life.

"who is that?" wooyoung asks, pushing his face close to san's to catch a glimpse. "ooo, is that your milf?"

it's jen's turn to kick him underneath the table, but san must admit, that was a little funny. he doesn't answer right away, though. something about the picture has caught his attention.

"no," jen says sternly since san has gone mute. "that's my friend y/n and her kid violet, we've talked about them before. san came to her birthday party this weekend."

"the milf?!"

"no!" jen repeats. "violet. i helped y/n with the party, and since she and san go way back, i kinda invited san without her knowing."

"nice," wooyoung nods. "good. get him into the house, and then into her heart. maybe the pants too-"

"dude," san finally cuts in. "what's wrong with you?"

"you two are boring me," he sighs. "sue me if i wanted to have a little fun with our conversation."

"you took this?" san asks jen, ignoring wooyoung now. she says yes, so he asks, "can i send it to myself? do you think y/n would mind?"

"no, i think that's fine," jen replies with a smile. "go ahead."

"thanks," san mumbles, typing his number in quickly to send the photo. he doesn't want to seem weird, sitting here staring at it, but there's still something he can't quite put his finger on. something familiar about it. not quite deja vu, but like he's seen this before. he hands jen's phone back to her, and she continues some inane argument with wooyoung as san checks his phone. huh, he thinks, taking one last look at the photo as he saves it to his library. violet sure has a nice smile.

-

san's day does not get better. the evaluation was mediocre at best, but the assistant principal doing the visit pulled him aside and promised better equipment in the new year. at least one good thing came out of this awful day.

well, two good things. san keeps opening his phone just to stare at that picture of himself with you and violet. his desire to patch things up with you only continues to grow, and he's been thinking about you so much that he swears he hears your voice calling his name at the end of the day. then a squeakier, tinier voice joins in, and san realizes, oh shit, you and violet are in his office.

"hey, sorry," he shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "god, sorry. how long were you standing there?"

"not long," you assure him. "i hope we're not bothering you?"

"not at all," he says as he stands. violet runs up to him then, turning from side to side with her hands clasped in front of her. san laughs, looking from her to you as he asks, "what's going on?"

"vi had a surprise for you, and she forgot she didn't have pe today so she got into the car crying because you didn't get to see it," you explain. "we turned around as soon as i got the story, and now we're here. do you recognize her shirt at all?"

"oh my god!" san smiles, violet joining in. san bends down to pick her up and swings her around to the sound of giggles. "you're wearing my present! do you like it?"

"i do!" she chirps, hiccuping a little as the giggles continue. san slows and carefully places her back down as she says, "thank you for coming to my party."

"thank you for inviting me," san replies, and you realize he's talking to you. you consider telling him now, you can feel his gaze pulling the words right out of you, but you chicken out.

"thank jen," you remind him. "she's the one who ambushed me."

"ambush?" san laughs nervously. "i hope me coming over wasn't an ambush."

"i shouldn't have said that," you shake your head. "i just." you take a deep breath. "it's been hard, you know, seeing you again. getting used to you being back in my life."

"happy to be here," san says coolly, and you pick up on the undertones. you knew he must have been upset with you, only wanting him when you couldn't have him. he'd given you so many chances to be his, but you grasped the last one. san was mad at himself first, and he's not mad at you per se, but the memory of that still hurts. he could have been in your life, violet's life, this whole time. it was you who kept the door bolted shut. now it's like there's little cracks filtering in bits of sunlight, and you're basking in them. you're just afraid that the warmth you feel from san now will burn you someday, that your past will be too hard to get over, and you can't tell him about violet until you know how he really feels.

"listen, we should go, but i want to hang out with you soon," you tell him, and san looks at you confused. "we need to catch up, don't you think?"

"sure," san agrees. "let me know where to be and when, i'll make it work."

-

that friday night, you have a babysitter (jen) and plans to meet san for dinner. jen is already here, you can hear her and violet whispering about something in the living room as you finish getting ready. this is not a date, but you're so nervous it might as well be. you could end up telling san tonight, if things go right. and if they go wrong...that's what's making you so nervous. the anxious side of you is already thinking of schools you can move violet to if the night goes bad, and the optimist is thinking about san finally being a dad to violet.

it's like he knew you were thinking about him, because his caller id lights up your phone (yes, his contact photo is that picture).

"you're cancelling," you say as soon as you pick up.

"what? no, freak," san chuckles. "i'm outside, but i'm sorry, i can't remember if your house has the red door or the blue one."

"you're what?" you ask, walking from your room to the front door. jen and violet watch on in curiosity, and you let out a sound of disbelief when you open the door to see san, standing by his car, looking from your house to the one next door.

"oh. found it," he teases, hanging up as he comes to the door. "you're not ready yet?"

"no, because i thought we were meeting there, i had more time," you say as you check your phone and notice you actually did not have time. "ok, i thought i had more time, but still. you didn't say you were picking me up."

"surprise?" san says sheepishly, peeking inside to wave to the girls.

"hi mr. choi!" they respond in unison, and san chuckles again.

"um, well, i wasn't expecting- i still have to-" you stammer out, basically turning in circles before staring back up at san. "give me two minutes."

"two? it'll be more like ten," san calls after you. you sort of sprint back to your room, checking that you look put together. your eyes look nervous, though. you hope san can't pick up on that. you grab your favorite necklace, one that violet picked out for you recently, and hold onto the heart pendant as you take a deep breath. you can do this. it's just san, your old pal! your friend! the father of your daughter who has no idea his life could have been completely different or that it's going to change with the information you're about to give him! great! let's go eat some tacos!

you and san both give violet hugs goodbye (she insisted) and jen says goodbye with a wiggle of her eyebrows. she thinks this is a date, and she spent an appropriate amount of time hyping you up tonight. she's known san more recently, so she gave you good insight on the whole telling him situation. she assured you that, while he may be frustrated by you not telling him sooner, under it all he'll be happy. he's wanted a family of his own since he started working at the school, so she's sure he'll be nothing but thrilled once the initial shock wears off. boy do you hope she's right.

-

san is being such a gentleman. first picking you up, then rushing out of the car to open your door for you, pulling your chair out at the restaurant...it's making this feel like a date. it's also making you scared that you're going to chicken out, but you can't.

"so," san says with a :] smile. "what did you want to talk about?" you take a moment to mess with the chips and salsa in front of you before you respond. you're taking so long that san takes a deep breath and starts, "i hope you know i'm not mad at you."

"what?" you ask in a small voice, chip halfway to your mouth.

"i'm not mad at you," san goes on. "i never was. i hope you know that."

"but i was a dick," you tell him, and he lowers his head with a laugh. you want him to listen to you though, so you grab his hand laid out on the table and squeeze. "no, seriously, that was such an asshole move on my part. only letting down my walls and letting you in the night before we both moved away? i've never forgiven myself for that."

"but you should," san shrugs. "i understand. i'm glad it happened. if i had to choose, i'd rather it happen the exact same way than not happen at all."

"right," and now it's your turn to look down. you let go of san's hand and go back to messing with the food in front of you. "i'm still sorry for how i acted."

"it's ok, i promise," san assures you. you aren't looking at him so he clears his throat and says, "actually, while we're talking about...back then. i have something to tell you too." oh no, you think. you nod to encourage him to continue, not sure you can speak right now. "um, well, here goes. i know it's been years, and we've barely talked since school, but..i don't know, y/n. i still think you're the one for me, and i was just wondering, maybe, since we're both in the same town again, and we see each other so often..."

"what, san?" you whisper, afraid of what he's going to say.

"will you go out with me?" he asks. "finally?"

"san," you sigh, and he shakes his head.

"no, don't say no yet. you can think about it. i know you have a lot more to consider than i do, so i don't mind waiting. but i wanted to put it out there. in case, uh, in case you were interested."

"put it out there? why are you talking about this like a couch you're trying to get rid of?" you tease him to ease the tension. "you just asked me out and now you sound like you're not sure."

"i'm sure," san says firmly. "very sure. but i don't want you to feel pressured."

"you've never made me feel anything but loved, san," you let slip, and you want to etch the look on his face into your memory forever. he looks so pleased, so purely happy at your words. they're hanging in the air as the waiter comes by to take your order, and that provides enough of a distraction that you both go back to a semblance of normalcy when he leaves. you fall into an easy conversation, catching up over your lost years. san tells you all about work, his family, his friends. it makes you happy that you chose this town, this school, to raise your kid in.

you fill san in too, but only the highlights. you don't want to ruin your dinner with the news, so you tell him about your career since he knows the least about that. he can't stop telling you how proud he is, and reiterates how amazing you are for raising a kid on top of it. you've got a steady blush on your cheeks as you keep chatting, and you notice then that the meal is over. your plates have been cleared for a while, and san paid without you knowing. how'd he do that?

"i was going to pay for my food," you protest.

"nope, my treat," san says. "let someone else take care of you for once."

"well thanks," you squeak out. "i've got you next time though."

"if there's a next time, i'm still paying," san replies so you roll your eyes and drop it for now. "um, before we go though, i was wondering...can i ask about violet? i feel like you barely mentioned her."

"oh, sorry," you laugh it off. "i don't get a chance to talk about myself a lot, so i'm not saying i forgot to mention vi, i just..."

"i get it," san nods in understanding. "you wanted to brag about yourself for a minute, that's ok. i'm glad you did."

"good," you smile shyly. "but, yeah, violet. what about her?"

"i wanna hear as much as you're willing to tell me," san says, and looking into your eyes, you know he means the father. "was there some great love of your life you don't want to tell me about?"

"san, it's not like that," you tell him, then think to yourself that in a way it is true. you think san is the love of your life, but you can't say that yet. "right, well, i have something to tell you, actually," you say in a voice stronger than you expected. you thought you'd be nervous, but it's like some mom power kicks in and you're able to stare directly into san's strong, gorgeous eyes as you speak. "can i?" you motion to his hands, and he holds them out so you can place your smaller ones in his. still looking into the eyes you've grown to love, you take a deep breath and say, "i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner. but san, you're violet's dad. she's your daughter."

"what?" he asks in a shaky voice.

"when we.." you try to explain, and have to start over, "that night. five years ago-"

"six," san corrects.

"six, you're right. that night was when she...yeah. i found out about violet a month later, after i had moved. i tried calling you. i did, i swear, and i know that sounds so childish but it's the truth. i tried calling you, tried figuring out how to tell you...but i heard how happy you were, how easy it was for you to settle into your life back at home. i didn't want to throw something unexpected at you and change all of that."

you rambled, and you're not sure how easy that was to follow. or how believable it was either, but you've said it. you're watching san take it in, and he's unnervingly calm. you can't read his face at all, but you realize you've been squeezing his hands and he's squeezing yours right back. you relax your grip then, but he doesn't. he stays quiet.

"san, say something."

"th-thank you," he stutters, finally slipping his hands out of yours. "thanks for protecting me from that, i guess."

"san, i-"

"no, y/n, it's fine," he shakes his head and stands. "come on, let's go. it's getting late."

-

the car ride is silent. san says nothing, but you can feel the emotions radiating from him. or maybe those are your own? fear, resentment, sadness...you always thought telling san the truth would make everything better. make you feel at peace at last. but currently you feel more ill at ease than you ever have. you want to crawl out of your skin, you want to scream at yourself, at san, just to get some kind of reaction out of him.

when he pulls into your driveway, he puts the car in park but doesn't unlock the door. you can tell he wants to say something, so you wait. you think you see jen peeking through the blinds, but you're not sure. a quick glance at the clock tells you violet's been in bed for a while, but knowing jen she probably let her stay up a little longer. you hope she's still awake when you go in, you could really use a hug from her right now.

"y/n," san calls your name softly. you turn your body completely so he can see you fully, and you see he's gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. "does she know?"

"huh?"

"violet," san says her name so carefully, so purposefully. like it's taken on a new meaning. "does violet now i'm her dad?"

"n-no," you stutter, and san slumps his head down. "but i told her about you. about her dad."

"she looks just like me," he says, and that's when you notice the sadness in his voice. he sounds broken, and it feels like your heart rips itself to shreds.

"san, i am so sor-"

"don't. just don't." you watch him carefully, and you think you see tears. "i can't..."

"can't what?" you want to reach out and touch him, to brush the tears away, but you hesitate.

"i can't believe you kept this from me," he says in a whisper so small you barely heard it.

"i was young and stupid and scared, san," you defend yourself. "i didn't know what i was doing, i should have tried harder to get in touch but-"

"i didn't get to be there y/n," he spits out, and you stop talking as he turns to you. "i missed her birth, her first steps, her first words. i wasn't in her life! she's my kid and you kept her from me for some of the most important years of her life."

"i know, and i'm..i'm sorry."

"sorry doesn't cut it." he's full on crying now. "i thought...i thought you cared about me. about what we meant to each other. how could you do this?"

"i was wrong to keep you away," you admit. "it ate me alive every day, but the longer i waited the harder it was to call you. and this is totally self inflicted but raising a kid on my own was hard! after i made that choice i barely had time to think about anything else!" you're shouting now, not out of anger, but frustration. "it was selfish, and i'm sorry. but i told you. you've always been part of violet's life. i tell her about her dad all the time. she asks about you, and i've never lied to her. i only kept your name, who you are to me, a secret."

"yeah that makes me feel so much better," san rolls his eyes, and you scoff before reaching over him to unlock the doors. as soon as you do, you're out of the car and rushing to your front door, san running behind you calling your name.

you get into the house and see jen moving around in the kitchen, but no signs of violet. san has stopped behind you, standing awkwardly at the threshold, so you grab his shirt and pull him along with you into violet's room. at the sound of the door opening she bolts up in bed. she looks confused, seeing two figures in her doorway, but when she recognizes you she makes little grabby hands for you to join her. again, san stays at the door, watching the two of you with a new perspective.

"cmere sugar," you whisper softly, sitting on violet's bed. you maneuver her so she's sitting on your lap.

"why is mr. choi here?" she asks, and you hear san take in a breath.

"his name is san, violet. and he's very important to me," you explain. violet is facing san as you ask, "can you tell us all you know about your daddy?" she nods, and then begins.

"mommy says he's very nice, the nicest man in the world!" violet starts out. "she says he's smart and strong and funny and handsome. she says i have his smile!" and with this she smiles, teeth and all, and san sees himself in her. it brings tears to his eyes, but she keeps going. "mommy says he's caring, and i had to ask what that meant. she says being caring means you're a good friend and you're nice to everybody. that reminds me of you, mr. san!"

"anything else baby?" you ask violet, stroking her hair. "what else do we say about daddy?"

"we love him very much," violet answers proudly. "and even if he's not with us, like in the same house or something, he's always right here!" and with that she puts her hand over her heart. she looks up at you then, asking, "did i miss anything mommy?"

"nope, you got it all sugar," and you kiss the top of her head, afraid to meet san's eyes. "thank you, violet. are you ready to go back to bed now?"

"yeah, but i want a bedtime story," she pouts, and you wonder if san notices how similar they look then too. "babysitter jen does too many funny voices, and one of them scared me."

"ok, i'll read you a story," you whisper, slowly and carefully dumping her back into bed as you stand. "but i need to talk to san really quick, is that ok?"

"uh huh," violet nods with a yawn, cuddling back up to her favorite stuffie. as san looks around her room, he notices a pillow he used to have, tucked in the corner of violet's bed. he used to call it shiber, it was something silly, but he loved that thing in college. it went missing the week before school ended, and san always wondered where it went. well, now he knows.

you carefully pull violet's door shut as the two of you back out into the hallway. the rest of the house is quiet, so you wonder briefly if jen has gone home. you look to san, ready to defend yourself further, get him to understand where you're coming from, but then you see the tears on his cheeks. now you do reach up and wipe them away, his hands covering yours and squeezing tightly.

"i am so sorry for keeping you away," you say one last time. "it was wrong. it will take time, but i will do everything i can to make that up to you."

"you can do it right now," san breathes out, the first easy breath he's taken since this conversation started. "let me be in her life. in yours. i missed so much, i can't miss anymore of it."

"we're here if you want us," you tell him, and san squeezes your hands again before pulling them from his face. he drapes your arms over his shoulders, his drifting to your waist.

"i do," he nods eagerly. "i want you." and with that, he kisses you. it's not a soft kiss, no. there's more force behind it than that. there's six years (maybe more) of repressed feelings in that kiss. it's the kind of kiss that makes you want to pop your foot up, the kind that sends butterflies soaring up from your stomach through your chest. you're so lost in the feeling that you don't hear violet's door open, and then...

"oh! mommy! mr. san is biting you!" violet shrieks, so you and san finally detach. you keep your foreheads together as you look down at violet staring disapprovingly at you.

"he's not biting me, we were kissing," you explain to her, but she doesn't like that answer.

"hey, i got in trouble for kissing a boy on the playground," she whines, and san looks at you in shock. you nod to confirm as you tell her, "that's because you shouldn't kiss at school. and you're too young. you can kiss when you're-"

"thirty," san finishes for you, making you both laugh as violet whines more.

"i was just gonna say when she's older," you whisper to him, and he shrugs.

"had to assert my parenting style somehow."

"why are you and mr. san whispering?" violet asks with a jump and her arms in the air. you're about to pick her up when san bends down and scoops her instead, so you can talk to her eye level.

"we're talking about you," you say as you boop her nose. "and stop calling him mr. san."

"what do i call him then?" she pouts, and you share your first silent parent language stare with san.

"actually baby, we have something we need to tell you..."