#I've been at my mum's to spend some time with her and our kitty cat

[good-mourning-mate]

⚠️⚠️⚠️

Maaate,

Something is not sitting right.

You warned me about your family, and now it seems that they're taking from you. The day after we said our farewells to you. I don't know what they're taking, though. So, maybe I am going crazy.

It can happen, though. Going crazy, I mean. Especially after sitting with a corpse for the past three days. The corpse of your close friend kept warm by a ventilator. The doctors had wanted to do more tests, but I knew it was pointless. There was no brain activity on the previous scans carried out. You were clearly brain-dead. The top of your head was deathly cold, as were the tips of your fingers.

Your niece, Simone, said she needed to spend time with the cats alone. She stressed that she wanted to play with them and to just spend some in your space. So, I went there to feed them and waited for Simone to arrive so that we could get another fob key from the caretaker. That way, we can all gain access to your flat without incident. We sorted the fob keys, and I reminded her to cook and eat some food so that it doesn't go to waste. We then hugged, and I reassured her that everything's okay. I left and got in an Uber at 2.55pm.

At 4.21pm, I get a message from her saying that she'd taken a few things from yours, at her mum's request, and that she was now going home.

It's not sitting right with me.

I know there's nothing I can do. I can't stop them taking your stuff. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I mean, you're no longer alive, so it's not bothering you, is it? So, why is it bothering me? Is it just because of your previous warnings. So, I'm a bit paranoid about your family's intentions, or am I justified in feeling weirded-out by Simone's brief visit just now?

Something just seems off, mate.

I'll be going back later to feed the kitties again. And then tomorrow, I'll be moving them to my house until I can find furever homes for them. I've messaged that catdad, Paul, who you mentioned in your final note, but I've not received a reply as of yet.

I'm keeping Bubz. He can live with me. But I'll make sure, if anything, Archer & Annie stay together, and Bear & Tiggs stay together.

Oh, and yesterday, while your family & I were standing around you in ICU. Your mother, Deana, decided to switch lanes and started running her gums about how you lying there in that state was somehow my fault. About how I was horrible to you during our last conversion on Monday and about how I shouldn't be there with you.

She was proper projecting, mate. She's one bitterly twisted sociopath. You did always tell me that. I told her that it was mostly her fault, that she was a shitty parent, how she didnt even have the decency to return your calls, and that she's the one who shouldn't be there because she didn't deserve you, as her daughter.

Your sister, Phoebe, along with your longtime friend, Tammy & that guy who is not your boyfriend, Joseph, were silenced. No one said anything. Your mother eventually stormed off out of the ward. It was at this point that they all verbally agreed that Deana was always bang out of order. And that I should just ignore her. It was all hushed, though, like everybody fears her wrath.

Your aunt Lizzy died yesterday morning due to cancer. It was the same day Phoebe gave consent for the doctors to stop the machines that were keeping your body from decaying.

Your mother must've been communicating with a lot of other family. Regarding yours and Lizzy's deaths. But something just seemed fake about her, mate. Like, she was crying only because she remembered to. Like something would prompt her to shed a few tears, then they swiftly dry up.

And that, Joseph, the guy who's not your boyfriend, but you played the role of his girlfriend since August. You know, the guy who you were shouting at down the phone on Monday while you put that ligature around your neck.

You could've just called me again to tell me how you were feeling at that moment. We'd not long since spoken. You know I'd always shut up & listen if you seemed in a bad state.

But I digress, yeah, well him, that Joseph. He tries way too hard, man. He wants to be useful. He does that so that people like him, and gradually, he hopes they become dependent on him. That is his trauma-response. He was probably mocked, possibly humilated as a child for any shortcomings perceived. So, he overcompensates, just like you did, but he's desperate for acceptance, whereas you craved validation. He's eagerly offered to help with moving the kitties, insistence, even.

The kitties are doing okay.

They're all eating and drinking regularly. Archer has still got fire liquid poo, the poor boy.

I've just reached yours. Simone has taken that massive painting of you off the wall. I couldn't tell if anything else was taken, though, because you've got too much stuff.

Why did she make up that whole scenario of wanting to be in your space with the kitties instead of just saying she's coming round to take some of your stuff and see the cats for a min. It's a bit shady, that. Why swerve their intentions like that? Again, maybe I'm overthinking it, but it just seems off.

She's made food but not washed up after herself. Who the fuck does she think is around to clean up after her, eh?

People, eh. Grown folks, at that ffs

20:10:01

[lxtent]

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