#I'm worried they'll talk over it too much which will be too distracting for me

[diabeticgirl4]

I have no idea how the tlovm watch party will go, is it like a watch along? Will I be fine if I haven't watched season 3 yet or should I binge the 3 eps first before joining the watch party? Idk what to do ahh

[pretty-little-mind33]

Tangerine x fem!reader

Summary: You've been the Twins' handler for years now, and when Tangerine blows up at you one evening after a mission, he apologizes in an unconventional way.

Epilogue

Genre: SMUT (nsfm)

Warnings: implied fuck boy!Tangerine, bitchy!Tangerine in the beginning, reader is named Peach, unprotected sex, passionate sex, not much foreplay (they're desperate lmao), swearing, insecurities, praise kink, degradation, emotional, Tangerine is all over the place and bad with his feelings!

~ i'm so sorry i feel like this took forever <3 enjoy! @j23r23 ~

TANGERINE MASTERLIST

"He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not," you smile, your nails drumming on the desk as you pick at the petals of the roses in the jar near your computer. "Ah ha, he loves me. Knew you were so full of shit," you hum happily. 

"Piss off," Tangerine loudly grunts in your ear and you tilt your head, scrunching your nose. You've told him not to yell like that—you've warned him that the earpiece is sensitive and you'll lose your hearing if he continues like this—but he never listens.

Being the Twins handler for almost four years now you've learned how to deal with their quirks.

Lemon, as ruthless as he is, is too trusting. He's also loyal to a fault and he'd die for Tangerine in seconds; something you've had to account for in your missions so it doesn't happen. 

Tangerine on the other hand? Recklessness under the guise of control. He'd burn the entire world down for Lemon without hesitation, his temper as bright as the flames of a wildfire.

Unexplainably however, you were drawn to him the most.

While he pushes your buttons like no one else, you also tend to push him in ways that leave him wanting—no needing—more.

"Tan," you warn again, "don't talk so loudly, they'll hear you!"

"Stop your yapping in my ear then, luv," Tangerine snaps, his comment snarky and you hear a loud humph as it sounds like someone crashes into something.

Tangerine sounds out of breath and you use your mouse to click on the map on your computer. You zoom in and ask, "Where's Lem? You aren't supposed to meet any security for a while—"

"He's busy, darlin'. And your little shortcut turned out to be not so short after all," Tangerine says and you hear a loud grunt. It's obvious he's in the middle of a fight.

Your blood runs cold as you chew on your lip. Your hands quickly dance over the keyboard as you try and find another way for them—an easier way—

"Hey, Peach, will ya stop breathing so damn loudly, it's distracting me," Tangerine's voice interrupts your worry and you hold your breath when you hear a loud thwap and then a grunt—immediately accompanied by cursing and more hoarse shouts. 

"Tangerine!" his name spills from your lips as you hear louder blows. "Tan?" you whisper when the line disconnects and a low buzz is heard in your ear. You fumble to discard the earpiece onto the desk in front of you and then you focus on finding Lemon. 

If anyone can help Tangerine, it's Lemon.

With a frown, you activate the tracker you'd promised not to slip into Lemon's jacket, and a little red light blinks on your computer screen. He's not far from where Tangerine is. You lean over and connect to the microphone on your computer.

"Lemon?!" 

You hear a crack and then the shuffling of clothes against the microphone in the tracker. "Peach?" Lemon grunts, "Ya cheeky lil' bird, I told ya not to track me," he lets out a breathy laugh, and another smack is heard, "Fuck me, these fuckers just don't die easily!" 

"Lem? Where's Tan?" you ask, seeing that the tracker Tangerine wears voluntarily on his suit hasn't moved in a while. "Is he okay? I think the earpiece broke."

Something must have happened to his tracker too if it's malfunctioning.

"Yeah, which is why I say I should wear it—but he's bossy and he's your favorite," Lemon says. 

"I don't have favorites!" you insist, your cheeks burning.

"Sure, whatever," Lemon chuckles and then adds, "Ah, speaking of the devil—I can see 'im now. Damn, he's beat up ain't he. Bullocks. Y'know your little plan was shit, Peach, security swarmed us almost immediately!"  

You pinch your eyes and guilt settles in your stomach. "I know, I know, I'm sorry,"

You hear Tangerine's voice distantly as he grumbles, "Fuckin' arsehole broke my earpiece when he punched me—I lost contact with Peach," he complains and you hear shuffling. Your stomach fills with unwanted butterflies at the sound of his voice and how your codename rolls off his tongue. 

"She can hear ya," Lemon says, his smirk evident in his tone, "Say hello, Peach."

"She tracked ya?" 

"Yeah, and bugged me too apparently."

 "What the fuck, my tracker doesn't do that," Tangerine says and you hear an infliction in his voice. 

"Yeah, cauz you always have the earpiece."

"Because she likes me better,"

"That's what I said!!" 

"Oi, you wankers, I can still hear you," you interrupt, "Will you just come back to the van now? The mission's a bust," you finish. While they continue to bicker for a moment, Lemon finally shuts down the tracker—by breaking it you assume—idiot—and it isn't until the van door slams open that you hear and see them again. 

"Oi, now you're takin' the piss," Tangerine exclaims, glaring at his brother as he runs a hand through his mussed hair. He enters the van and you stand. Your eyes scan over his appearance; his suit is torn and bloodied and he has a gaping cut on his forehead. His ear is also bleeding from when you assume the broken earpiece had shattered. 

"Christ," you whisper and walk over to him. Lemon smirks as he walks by the both of you and collapses onto the second chair near your desk. He's less beat up than Tangerine—who'd taken on more men you assume—but you remind yourself to check on him later anyway.

Tangerine senses you come up to him and he tenses when you hold his cheeks in your hands and check his wounds. "Tan, this looks bad," you say. 

"Peach, I'm fine," he grumbles and turns his head away. He sounds grumpier than usual.

"Look, I'm sorry—I'm sorry I messed up, I—"

Suddenly, Tangerine explodes. His hand comes up around his ears as he scrunches up his nose. "Will ya just stop talkin' for one fuckin' second?!" he yells and even Lemon, who had been a silent bystander to the conversation, looks up from where he's bandaging his hand. 

Your eyes widen and you blink at Tangerine. "W-what?"

He presses his index on his temple and narrows his eyes at you. "I have a fuckin' headache 'cause of you and you talkin' my fuckin' ear off all the damn time! And now I can barely hear because it's ringing so fuckin' hard!" he points to the blood inside his ear. 

You flinch at his tone and try to control the tears threatening to spill as he harshly berates you. 

"Right," is all you say, "sorry," your voice sounds small and you push by him and out to the front of the van to start the engine. 

* * * 

When you arrive outside their house—well, your house too since you've been living with them for the past three months—you don't talk to Tangerine. You don't even look at him.

Instead, without a word, you walk up to your room, tears still brimming, and slam the door behind you. 

Your stomach hurts and your nails dig into your palms as you run a shower. You desperately want to wash away any memory of what happened tonight. 

It isn't uncommon for you and Tangerine to fight—but he's never shouted like that and never in response to your worry.

Once you finish with your shower and walk out of the bathroom, just a towel wrapped around your body, you jump when you see Tangerine standing in the middle of your room.

He'd clearly freshened up too but, unlike yours, his hair is freshly dried. You aren't surprised—you know he hates sleeping with it when it's wet. 

He's wearing a casual pair of beige slacks and a white T-shirt. The fabric strains against the muscles in his arms as he crosses them across his chest and you look up, feeling a burn in your cheeks.

Tangerine's ear has been bandaged and his cuts and bruises look kindly tended to. Lemon, you assume, he's always been soft on his brother even when he's acting like a jerk. 

Tangerine is staring at you intensely, his blue eyes shining a shade darker than usual. 

"Shit, stop being creepy," you grumble, holding your towel tightly around yourself. "Have you come to say you're sorry for acting like a prick or just stare a hole into my head?"

Tangerine's eyes narrow and he shakes his head. He stalks closer to you, pink lips parted and his hands find your hair near your nape. He pulls you in, seemingly unbothered by the squeal you make or how you're unable to move your hands to push him away. 

Not that you'd want to push him away anyway.

"The fuck you think you're doing?" you hiss, staring at him, "have you gone mad?"

Tangerine just continues to stare into your soul. "You're so damn annoying," he mutters.  

"I'll scream and Lemon will come and beat the shit out of you," you threaten, challenging him. You know Lemon would never do such a thing and you'd be a fool to scream. 

"But, fuck me, I like you so damn much," he finishes his sentence, and then his lips find yours. His hand tightens in your hair as he kisses you. There's no tenderness in his kiss, no hesitation or remorse, just pure passion as he wraps his arms around you and holds your back as he pulls your chest to his. 

You clutch the towel, making sure it feels secure, and kiss him back. You make a small sound behind his lips but you can't deny the heat in the kiss or how badly your stomach tightens just right. The steam coming from your bathroom is taunting as it surrounds you; sticky and warm. 

"Tan," you mumble as his hand comes around your jaw and he turns your head to kiss your neck. 

"Shut up," he growls, "you talk too damn much." He squeezes his eyes shut and the words fall easily from his lips as they press to your skin.

"God, you don't understand how hard it is for me; hearing your sweet voice in my ear while I'm trying not to get fuckin' stabbed or shot to death! You don't know what you do to me, darlin'. You have no fuckin' clue. It's fuckin' torture," he says as his hand tightens in your hair and you whimper.

"Tan, m-my towel," you tell him, struggling to hold it up as his body presses against yours.

This makes Tangerine snap out of whatever trance he's in for a moment and he looks down at you. His eyes have softened just a little and his tone is sultry when he asks, "Let it fall. I don't care. Do you?" His lips quirk up. "I've dreamt of you naked a thousand times, luv."

Your eyes round at the intensity of his words. You want to tell him to fuck off—that you've never thought of him like this. Never imagined his lips on yours or the way he'd feel inside you. But then you'd be a liar, and you aren't a liar. 

Instead, you drop the towel, your eyes still intensely locked onto his. The cold air sends a shiver up your spine and Tangerine's hands find the skin on your back instead of the towel. His eyes haven't left yours and he looks surprised that you'd done it. He hasn't looked down and his cheeks have turned a dusty pink. 

"What?" you move your hands up to his cheeks and hold them, "you said you'd dreamt of this. Well?" With as much confidence as you can muster, tilt his head to your naked body. You can feel your hands tremble against his cheeks, all kinds of insecurities and uncertainties bubbling inside you and just as you're going to pull away from sheer embarrassment, Tangerine speaks; 

"Fuckin' hell, you look so much better than in my imagination," his hands slide up the curves of your hips and breasts. His touch is surprisingly gentle for how passionate he'd been in the beginning.

You watch as his eyes roam around your body and he runs a hand over his jaw, staring at you with pure admiration. "You belong in a fuckin' museum," he whispers behind his hand. 

"Alright, lover boy," you roll your eyes and shift to move away but his hands find your hips and he hoists you up into his arms. You gasp, your arms finding his shoulders and your legs cling to his waist as your wet hair sprinkles water over his face. It's a weird position to be in considering you're naked.

"Tangerine!" you cry as he carries you over to your bed and you squeal when he drops you and hovers over you. 

"Let me worship you, darlin'," he whispers as his knee slides in between your legs and he kisses your lips again. He disconnects them and looks at you seriously, "Please," he pleads and your eyes widen.

Tangerine never says please.

You find yourself nodding, too lost in the haze of it all to hear the small voice in your head screaming how stupid this is.

He'll throw you away after. He doesn't care. He'll hurt you. He'll break your heart! 

You kiss him again, his lips moving against yours rhythmically. You're so lost in pleasure that when he sits up on his heels to strip his shirt, you whine and grasp at his arms. "Shhh, I'm here, dove," he chuckles, enjoying the power he has over you. When he leans over you to kiss you again, this time your hands find his abs and you can't help but explore them. 

"You countin' them, luv?" he chuckles after a moment and his lips find your nipples as he squeezes one of your breasts in his hands. You make an embarrassed sound that quickly turns into a moan when he positions your hips just right so the fabric of his slacks hits your clit. 

"I know, I know," Tangerine teases as he senses how needy you're becoming. "Shit, you're just a little slut, aren't ya, luv? Knew you'd wear those dresses to tempt me—didn't ya?"

You nod. You had. You didn't think it worked—he always played it so cool.

"You should know I would wank one out after seeing you—your thighs so visible and," he pauses and uses his hands to spread you open until he sees what he wants, "and that pretty pussy. So fuckin' pretty—

—you let me have a peek sometimes didn't you, naughty girl? Knew you did it on purpose," Tangerine says. He sounds satisfied with himself that he'd found you out and his grin widens when you nod. 

"Just for you," you whisper, looking up at him with hooded eyes. "Please, Tan," you whine, you're already so wet for him. 

"What do you want, hm? Tell me," he smirks and dips his head down to kiss your neck as his hands wander around your skin. He sits back up and removes his slacks and boxers. Your eyes downturn on his cock and you bite your lip. God, is he really this beautiful everywhere? How fucking unfair. 

Tangerine's hand comes up to your chin, "Where do you want me?" 

You look into his eyes, unsure how to ask him for what you want. Tangerine smiles, his thumb touching your lip. He's gentle, his eyes softer now, "Peach," he leans in and kisses just behind your ear. You shiver. "It's okay. Tell me where you want me," he smiles against your skin. 

"Inside me," you say, your voice small

Tangerine hums and tucks some of your hair behind your ear, "Where inside you, luv? I want to hear you say it for me."

You feel your cheeks warm and you stare up at him. "In my pussy," you say and Tangerine's eyes light up and he smirks.

"My pleasure," he says and shifts his hips until you feel his cock press against your pussy. He feels you tense as your hands tighten around his shoulder.

"Hey, it's just me," he says, pushing in slower now. He looks concerned as one of his hands finds your hair and pushes the strands away from your eyes.

Yeah, that's the issue, you want to tell him but you just nod, squeezing your eyes shut. 

"Look at me," he says as he pushes inside you fully. You gasp, arching into him and your breathing becomes harsh. He's so thick and long. Tangerine doesn't move and you let out a whine, your eyelids fluttering. "I said, look at me. I won't move until you look at me, darlin'," he whispers sternly. 

When you finally look at him he smiles, "Do you trust me? I'm not gonna hurt you—promise." 

You nod, biting your lip. Of course, you trust him. "I trust you," you answer breathlessly. 

"Good girl," Tangerine praises and kisses your forehead. He starts to move his hips, pulling in and out of you with torturous strokes. He feels so good.

As he fucks you, he leans his forehead on yours, occasionally whispering praises into your ear as he tells you how pretty you look with him buried inside you. 

"So fuckin' pretty with my cock inside your pussy, hmm," he grunts, continuing the pounding of his hips. "You close, luv? Already?" He teases you with a smirk and kisses your lips. You let out small moans, skin warm and sticky as you nod. 

"Good," he smiles and uses his thumb to rub your clit, adding pressure as he fucks into you. "So good for me. All for me, hmm?" 

"Y-yes," you groan, squeezing your eyes shut. 

"Open your eyes, Peach," he demands and you do so instantly. "I want to look into your eyes when you come apart around me."

With that, the tension breaks inside you. Your body feels weak from the pleasure and your chest rises and falls rapidly once your high finishes. You let yourself relax into the mattress for a moment, ignoring the sudden stream of thoughts—good and bad—that race into your mind. Tangerine's lips touch your forehead again and then he pulls out, finishing on your stomach with a grunt. 

You blink, feeling the bed dip and then his warmth disappears. You panic a little but you're too weak to move. If he wants to leave, let him, you convince yourself as you stare at the ceiling. However, when you feel something cold and wet across your stomach, you flinch and scramble to sit up. 

Your eyes are wide and Tangerine pauses, removing the washcloth from your skin. He frowns a little, "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks softly. You stare at him. He's still shirtless but he's pulled up his trousers.

"You aren't leaving?" you ask, looking around the room and you suddenly feel very bare. 

Tangerine's frown deepens but he doesn't speak for a moment as he washes away his cum from your skin and, after discarding the washcloth, he reaches behind him to hand you his shirt. You accept it without thinking and put it on, wrapping your arms around yourself as you continue to stare at him. 

He shifts, sitting beside you with one leg off the bed. He still hasn't answered and you start to feel an impending pit in your stomach. 

"Why would I leave?" he asks calmly, his voice doesn't have a hint of concern in its tone. 

You fiddle nervously with the hem of his shirt, looking down. Your hair, now half-dried, is a mess from the pillows and you push it down and around your ears in an effort to compose yourself in front of him. "Well, I- I just assumed that you would—" 

Tangerine tilts his head. "You think I would fuck and ditch, did ya? Ya think so low of me, Peach?" It feels like he sounds almost amused.

You shake your head but your nerves don't stop. "I mean, what do you expect me to think, Tangerine?" you look into his eyes and continue, "You come in here, all pissed at me—you yelled at me earlier and made me feel all shitty about myself—and then out of nowhere you kiss me and then we—"

"Fuck." Tangerine finishes bluntly. 

You narrow your eyes at him. "Yeah, that," you let out a breath, "So, please, tell me. What am I supposed to think? What do you want from me now? Because I can't be one of your fuck toys, Tan. I refuse to be that girl. I- I care about you—" you feel your emotions get caught in your throat and you feel your eyes sting. Furiously, you wipe your eyes with your hands, refusing to cry in front of him. 

Tangerine hasn't said a word. He's looking at you but you can't read his expression. You hate it. You shut your eyes, ready to call it quits, and tell him to leave, but then you feel the bed dip again and you feel his hands cup your cheeks. Your eyes snap open.

"Don't cry," he whispers, his thumb sliding under your eyes and catching your tears, "Please, don't cry because of a stupid bastard like me," he cracks a smile, hoping you'll smile too but when you don't and he sighs, "Okay, I was a dick, a real fuckin' dick, and you didn't deserve any of that. I'm sorry." 

You nod, still listening to him, "You really were a dick," you whisper. 

Tangerine chuckles and nods too. "Yeah. I was," he pauses and moves his thumb across your cheeks as if admiring you some more, "Do ya really believe I'd fuck ya for this to be a one-time thing, luv? That I'd just throw ya away after?"

Your cheeks feel warm. "I- I don't know," 

"You do know. You think I would do that to ya," Tangerine says, his voice low. 

"I mean—that's what you do don't you? I've known you for years, Tan. All those girls—"

Tangerine suddenly laughs and his hands drop from your face. "Peach, you aren't those girls," he says, suddenly serious, "I wasn't just making it up when I said how hard it is for me to listen to you in my ear all the time. Not because you're annoying—which sometimes you are but that's beside the point—but because I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for years. You're all I goddamn think about. Do you understand how hard that is for me?"

You just frown, shaking your head a little. "No. This doesn't make sense. Why now—why not yesterday? Or months ago? Or years ago?"

 Tangerine runs a hand in his hair and lets out a breath. "Because I didn't want to but I snapped, I snapped, okay? I'm not fuckin' proud of it. I yelled at you and I felt so bad after I didn't know what to do with myself anymore—

—you're always there for Lem and me, and I realized, after that fuckin' earpiece broke, that I hated not having your pretty voice in my ear anymore. It felt like I'd lost you—do you have any idea how scared that made me feel, even when I knew it was irrational and that you were completely safe?" His words come out jumbled and strained. "I fuckin' hated it, I hated feeling like that so I snapped," he finishes. 

You stare at him, his words hitting you hard. You've never seen him like this and it scares you, but it also turns you on some more. Why does he have to be so fucking hot? "And I'm sorry. I am. I would never throw you away. I don't want to throw you away after this—especially after fucking you—that's the last thing I would want! I– I-" 

You stare at him some more, your eyes wide, "You what—?"

Tangerine pauses, "I love you," he says, articulating every word so you hear him clearly. 

"You love me?"

"Yes."

"As in love love?"

"Fuckin' hell Peach, ya want me to scream it at ya or somethin'? I'm in love with ya. I love ya more than anythin' I fuckin' have. You're my everything. I love you so damn much."

All your anger, doubt, and shame instantly vanished into thin air. He loves you. All this time he'd loved and he was just shit at expressing his emotions? You laugh, covering your mouth with your hand as happiness overwhelms you. 

"Are ya laughing at me?" Tangerine's voice cuts in the air and you focus on him. He looks surprised and hurt. 

Your smile falters and you shake your head. There is so much you want to tell him that you're at a loss for words. He looks so pretty like this, sitting in front of you, and your hands find his cheek instead of using words.

Your fingers skim the bandage that's still wrapped around his ear and you want to ask him if it still hurts. You want to ask him so many things. He's staring at you, chest heaving, and you don't think as you kiss him. 

It's softer than the previous passionate kiss you'd shared. Only, Tangerine reacts with as much eagerness as earlier. His hands find your back and he presses you against him, your lips sliding against yours. It's intense and lovely all in the same. 

"I love you too," you say quietly between kisses. 

"Say it louder," Tangerine suddenly hums, his eyes shut in pleasure. You think he needs you to talk louder because one of his ears is bandaged and hurt.

So, you do as he asks and it earns you another kiss, however when Tangerine mutters, "I wanna hear ya say it again," you know he heard you fine. His voice is so love sick you just grin and wrap your arms around him, your hands bunching in his curls.

"I love you, Tangerine," you say breathlessly, "I love you."

"You have no idea how happy ya just made ma, luv," he responds instantly, running his hand over your cheek as he looks into your eyes. "God, I'd die for ya," he mutters and you frown, slapping his arm a little. 

"Don't talk about you dying, you git," you reprimand, and Tangerine smirks. 

He kisses your neck and with a teasing tone he reassures you, "Ya have nothin' to worry about, luv. I'd much rather live for you. You have all of my heart, darlin'. It's all yours," he guides your hand to press your palm against his chest and you feel how quickly his heart is beating.

"This beats for you."

You smile and kiss his lips once more as you bring his other hand to your chest too. "And I'm yours," you whisper. "Only yours."

And until then, you'd never seen Tangerine's grin widen as widely as it did when you said those words. 

[luneariaa]

ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ "WERE YOU ASLEEP?" ✧ KENJI S.

✰ — mentions of you having some troubled thoughts during the night, implications of self-doubt(?), momentary phone calls, sweet and comforting kenji, pretty much self-indulgent.

. dividers by @/cafekitsune 🌙!!

IT WAS late at night, and yet, your mind itself refused to let you rest, preventing you from getting your own desired slumber. Your sole figure could be seen standing just by the balustrades of the balcony— breathing in the twilight air contentedly despite your turbulent mind.

These thoughts get too much sometimes, allowing yourself to at least try and loosen yourself up for the night— attempting to soothe any present aches and other unneeded distractions, especially from deep within.

You just wished that you'd never end up acting on them— hopefully not. Bad days are normal, so to speak. They'll pass, and eventually, everything will be better again. There's always light at the end of the tunnel, after all, so you keep holding on to that no matter how hard it may get at times.

The will to live is still reasonably strong, even when life itself isn't so kind to you. It gets exhausting, but you'll be there even with tons of struggle that you have to endure in the process.

Taking the phone out of your pocket, you glanced down at the clock, which shows it's exactly at two. Your sleeping schedule is unavoidably messed up, and you knew that you'd probably get an earful of scolding later on.

Breathing out ever so slowly, your fingers almost too subconsciously made their way to your contacts folder— which isn't that much, and ultimately pressed on one of the displayed names.

KEN.

Should I call him, or not?

After a fair minute or two of mentally debating whether to make a call to him, despite it being quite late at night— you did it, in the end. You just needed to talk to him for some unexplainable reasons, even when you don't really have any specific topics to talk about this late.

The phone didn't even need to ring twice when it was being picked up immediately, much to your surprise. Like, at this hour too?

"Hey— that was quick."

"Hey too," he chuckled facetiously over your words, maintaining his push-up position but on one hand. "Wouldn't want to miss a call from my favorite lady ever— and you're lucky I wasn't even asleep yet."

This piqued your interest. "What were you even doing?"

"Just doing some workout. Y'know, the usual." Ah, of course, he would. Even if Kenji already has those toned, healthy physique, he will always try to keep his body in a perfect shape.

"At a time like this? Gosh, you're questionable sometimes." A faint mirth could be heard on both sides of the phone call; sharing a laugh with one another.

"But anyway—" Kenji grabbed the towel nearby and wiped the sweat off his face, still maintaining his hold on the phone. "What's up? Couldn't sleep, hm?"

"Kinda. Got distracted, as usual." You couldn't contain the smile from forming upon your face, already feeling some of your worries gradually alleviated just from hearing his voice alone. "Glad that you aren't asleep yet too."

Kenji grins through the phone, even when you aren't there to witness it— eventually taking a seat on the nearby chair to rest for a while.

"Yeah."

"But seriously, are you alright?" His tone turns a tad bit more apprehensive, just in case since it's a pretty late hour too.

"I am, don't worry."

"It's just that— my thoughts are being quite a bother for some reason. But yeah, it's probably because well, it's late past midnight."

He nodded for a bit from the other side, seemingly understanding of your situation as it happens to him sometimes too.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His simple offer made you think for a few seconds there, not knowing how to reply to him just yet.

"Well.."

"It's just something like— I don't know. Out of all people, you're the only one who stayed the most by my side. I'm so grateful for it, and sometimes, I still can't get used to it for some reason."

"You're too good for me."

He sighs softly, leaning his back slightly against the chair. "Hey, c'mon, don't say that. I did all of this because you genuinely deserved it."

"You deserve nothing less, trust me."

Even when he's unable to catch any glimpse of it, you grin so broadly, feeling touched by his words all over. You're quite the lucky one since it's not really a side he shows to anyone that often, and it radiates warmth; endearing, even.

"You're always the sweetest."

"And so are you, sweetheart."

He asserts tenderly, "That's the least I could do for you. You deserve only the best, and I mean it."

"I'm just glad that you decided to call me, even at this ungodly hour. Even if I'm asleep, just know that I will always try my best to answer."

"I know." You chuckled briefly, before pausing for a bit, contemplating over your next words.

"It's kind of a mess, I just—" Your previous smile drops without a warning, trying your best to remain composed, not wanting to have a sudden mental breakdown on a call with him like this. Why do the emotions have to rush through you like this?

With a quick clear of your throat, you added further. "It makes me confused sometimes, and I just.. Don't know on what to do."

He could notice the hint of shakiness within your voice alone; expression softening ever so slightly yet noticeable— not to anyone but to himself— seemed to understand the internal struggle you're possibly going through at the moment.

"And that's alright. It happens to each of us at times. It's bound to happen in one way or another." Kenji admittedly wasn't really good at giving advice and stuff, but he's willing to try his best to do so, because it's you.

"You don't have to rush things; the world can wait. Sometimes, it's best to let them be, and know that not everything is in our control."

"It's not your fault, if that's what you're wondering."

"I may not get it fully as to what you're thinking and going through right now, but please, remember that you're not alone. You have me."

You allow each of his words to sink in within your mind, making sure to process everything in, and let the deep realization hit you after. You're aware that he's just trying to help you— which you fully appreciated on, and even when it's quite hard to act based on someone's advice at times, you cherish his efforts.

Because no one really did that for you. No one was willing to go that far for you, yet here he is— willing to break through your walls no matter how long it takes and how you've set it up. Taking it slow, he still respected your boundaries despite everything, yet never once gave up on your well-being.

Before you could even give out your own response, his voice came through the phone once more.

"You know what— gimme a few minutes. I'll be there."

Your eyes widened in utter disbelief, like at an ungodly hour like this-?

"Ken, you don't have to do that, it's pretty late."

Despite your attempts of trying to reason with him, it merely falls on deaf ears; rolling his eyes without you knowing. "And you think that's gonna stop me, sweetheart?"

"I'm not gonna let you miss your needed sleep because of your thoughts and inner struggle, okay? And that's final."

Leaving no room for any arguments, he added a few words as his last statement. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't fall asleep just yet, love."

You have no choice, but to simply follow along and concede with him, feeling appreciated deep down; unable to suppress the feeling of warmth and solace from resurfacing within you.

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.

[gavisfanta]

THE NEWSPAPER - PEDRI

summary: you let the hate get to you

warnings: none

Breakups can be bitter.

Walking past a person you used to hug, kiss, and touch freely, is a surreal feeling.

Suddenly what was once natural is now weird. If Pedri would walk over to you now and kiss your forehead, everyone would look at him like he's insane.

5 months ago, he walked over to you, kissed you on your lips and everyone would look at the two of you.

"How sweet they are" Some people would say. They were jealous and their only goal was to make you two break up.

Some of them loved your relationship, some of them didn't.

You didn't care much about what the media said,

or did you?

3 months earlier

"She's my girlfriend and I'm happy that she's here and I don't have to hide her anymore." Pedri said as he looked at the interviewer in front of him.

"Will she always come to support you or was this just a one-time thing to show her off?" The interviewer asked him again and he laughed a bit while he scratched his jawline.

"She supports me from home too, not only from here, I have a better feeling already when I know that she thinks of me. It wasn't just a one-time thing tho." Pedri answered again and the interviewer nodded her head.

"Gracias Pedri, have a nice night." She said and Pedri nodded his head as he flashed her a smile.

You looked at him while your whole face was covered in a wide grin. "You're so sweet." You opened up your arms for him and he walked into them. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer.

"Gotta take every opportunity to show off my amazing girlfriend no?" Pedri asked as he pulled away to look at you and then leaned in for a kiss.

"You're right, now go change so we can go home." Pedri laughed as soon as you pushed him towards the tunnel.

"That was sweet, I've never seen him like this." Sira came over to you and wrapped her arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.

"Really?" You asked, not really wanting to believe her. It was too good to be true.

"Yeah, he's a completely different person ever since, it's incredible," Sira said fascinated, the two of you began walking towards the exit as the stadium started to get empty.

As you waited for Pedri patiently in your car, you were scrolling through instagram until you saw a post from the spanish newspaper.

"Hey, I'm sorry I took so long, I just had to talk to Luis-" Pedri began as he sat into the car but then stopped immediately after he saw how focused you were on your phone.

"What are you reading?" He snatched the phone away from you and you tried to grab it but he held you back.

After he read everything he immediately blockdd the account from your phone. "Don't read this shit, you know they'll use everything against me and you. But I love you you're no distraction to me, remember that, I love you." Pedri gave you back your phone and leaned closer to you.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, I don't care." You mumbled and he gave you a reassuring look before leaning in to kiss you.

The kiss was long and passionate and for a moment you forgot what you just read 20 seconds ago.

Pedri had that magic where he'd make you forget things that were on your mind. He had that special aura which you could feel even if you just looked at him.

His presence was noticeable in every room he stepped foot in. He showed you what true love really is and how it feels like.

In the end you knew that you loved to love him.

For Pedri it was the same, he adored every single thing you did. When you'd fall asleep first he'd stay up for hours just watching you sleep.

Every single detail about you when you sleep is engraved into his brain. The way your breathing slows down, the way your eyes twitch sometimes, and the way you move when you're uncomfortable.

However, it didn't stop, that wasn't the only article written about you, Pedri always told you: "It's the press, they'll find something else in a couple of days, don't worry" But it didn't stop.

"Pedri's girlfriend is a bad influence for his playing style"

"Could the youngster be too distracted to play football?"

"Teenage love for footballers is the most dangerous thing."

You tried so hard to ignore everything but it just seemed to follow you, when you scrolled on instagram, trying to take your mind off of some things, it was there.

"Pedri's girlfriend" Without anyone really knowing you, they judged you. After spain has been eliminated from the world cup the noise just calmed down a bit. That was until you posted on your Instagram to let everyone know that you supported Pedri and will forever support him.

The comments were filled with hate and accusations towards you, that it was your fault that Pedri wasn't playing at his top level.

Pedri spoke about it with Xavi and he reassured his coach that he wasn't distracted. "Just stay calm, it'll pass." Pedri hugged you and you shook your head.

"It has been going on for two months. Why would people accuse me of something I never even spoke about?" You asked him, at this point tears in your eyes.

You didn't understand why people were hating you.

You then looked at a tiktok from a fan of Pedri and read the comments below it. "If I was her, I'd break up with him, no way that she's getting this much hate for being in love."

You turned off your phone and stared into the nothingness for 5 minutes after you read that. If you would break up with him, you'd be free from the press, it wouldn't be your fault anymore if Pedri made a bad pass.

So the following day when Pedri came home from an away game you sat down with him.

"Pedri, we need to talk." Pedris head shot up immediately and he looked at you, waiting patiently for you to speak up.

"I think it's better if we part ways." You told him, your hands shaking a bit as his eyes widen.

"Amor, How would that be better?" Pedri asked as he took your hand in his.

"It's just so overwhelming that everyone always blames me for every bad pass you make. It's like everyone waited for someone to blame." You told him and he looked at the floor, he seemed zoned out.

"I can talk to a reporter about it, that they should stop, I can make it stop. Just please don't-" You cut him off.

"No, don't, I don't want you to talk about it because then everyone would get mad at you, so just- let's just part ways. I can't do this any longer, I'm sorry seriously." You told him and he shook his head.

"No, we're gonna find a solution, please, Amor don't panic now, stay calm and we're gonna find a solution." Pedri held your hand in his and drew circles on the back of your hand.

"Pedri, I can't please, just- I don't want to." Your breathing started to speed up and he noticed. He immediately pulled you into a hug and then kisses your cheek.

"I wont let you break up with me, we're gonna find a solution. I promise." Pedri whispered in your ear and you felt your breathing calm down and your eyes stopped watering.

"Please, please find a solution."

3 days later

"It's really ashaming of what the press is doing, if I play a wrong pass are you gonna blame my girlfriend? How would she have anything to do with that? If I make a mistake it was because I kept looking at her? Whoever says that has never stepped foot into a filled stadium with people. You spin around and walk around so much that in the end you forget where the bench even is." Pedri inhaled sharply. "I'd just like to kindly request everyone to stop writing about my girlfriend. I take all responsibility for my bad playstyle the last few weeks and it's entirely my fault. Just please stop the messages because if you keep going, I wont respect you as a football fan. Thank you."

You smiled as you looked at your boyfriend stand up from the table and walk away from the press conference.

After all, he promised.

[vulpixisananimal]

"Did you tell Siffrin already?"

(You shouldn't be listening in like this, just go back to your room. Bonnie is ok, Bonnie is safe, even though they got hurt, they're safe. Listening in like this is just going to hurt your feelings.)

(Or at least tell you what they really think about you.)

"Not yet... Do you think they'll take it well?" (You heard Mira say.)

(Mira, Isa, and Odile were all talking in the common room they had at the Inn, Nille was making sure Bonnie was comfortable in their room after... All that.)

"Prrrrobably not... We should tell them anyways, though." (Isabeau was always looking out for you...)

"Indeed, talking goes both ways after all." (Odile.)

"True! Which I still would have liked you to do yesterday M'dame! I know Sif's been acting strange but..."

(You sigh internally. You were acting strange. You all were.)

(... It still felt weird.)

(There's three of you. Three Siffrins. Sometimes there's a gap of a few days you don't remember. You don't remember doing things you apparently did a few hours ago.)

(Sometimes the others were here, Loop, Mal Du Pays. Thoughts that weren't your own would bounce around your head, argue with you.)

(You weren't paying attention to what your family was saying anymore.)

(We need to tell them about, all this.)

(Now? Oh absolutely not Stardust, poor Bonbon just hit their head, they've got so much on their plate already~)

(You were the one who told me to be more open, Loop.)

(Yeeeeees, but there's a time and a place-)

"Hey Siffrin!"

(You snap back to reality, Nille was walking over.) "Feeling better?"

(You glance away, putting on a smile.) "Oh, yeah I'm feeling much better! How's Bonnie?"

"Oh lil Bonbon is resting up, Mira said they got a big booboo but they're great!"

(You relax your shoulders. As long as Bonnie was ok...)

(Nille raised an arm to put over your shoulder, pauses, then puts her arm back.)

"C'mon, we gotta figure out who that crabbing kidnapper was!" (Nille moved past Siffrin to join the others in the common room. You followed her. You still couldn't look her in the eye.)

(Odile, Isabeau, and Mirabelle were all seated and chatting, Nille joined them. Isa perked up seeing you walk in.)

"Sif!! You feeling alright? I got you fever medicine, and I wanted to maybe get you a gift because-"

"Gems alive Isa" (Odile pinched the bridge of her nose.)

(Nille made a half-laughing noise, and you sat down.) "I'm alright Isa, gift exchange can Wait," (You leaned in. Joke incoming.) "I just know any gift you get me will be my fever-ite."

(The mixture of laughter and pained groans was as sweet as always.)

"Thank you, Siffrin." (Odile said with a sigh) "Now, let's go over what happened."

(And so they started talking. Bonnie was grabbed in the farmers market while Nille was distracted, but was cut off by Mirabelle, who showed up soon after.)

"Thanks again for that, Mira." (Nille said with a smile.)

"O-oh! Well..." (She glanced your way- oh! Mira hadn't told anyone that it was a Loop, right... After some thought, you gave a nod.)

"Well! You should probably thank Siffrin actually!"

"Huh!?!?" (Wait that's not what you expected.)

"Hmm, yes why would you be thanking Siffrin" (Odile was looking at you.)

(You slump down in your seat, she probably already figured out what happened.)

(Just means you're all in now Stardust, unless you want to try going back again~)

(No. Absolutely not.)

"W-well, remember that story about, looping we told you about Nille?" (She nods.) "Well, this morning when I woke up screaming, That was because..."

(You pause for a moment, breath in, and out.)

"Because Bonnie was grabbed from the farmers market when I was there, instead of you. And, And I, I..."

(I told you. I told you not to tell them.)

(You keep breathing, it'll be ok, just keep breathing-)

"Hey, you did better than me." (Said Nille)

(... Huh?)

(she continued) "It it wasn't for Mirabelle I would have lost them too... So, I can't really blame you at all if you're worried about that."

( ... Oh.)

"And!! Since you were able to loop back, we got to try that again and Bonnie's ok!!" (Mirabelle interjected.)

"Although that is somewhat concerning you looped back even weeks since after we defeated the King." (Odile was thinking, it had been weeks after all. Defeat the King, party at Dormont, visit Bambouche and meet Nille, help things there...)

(You still failed though. We did. They wont forget that.)

(Can you just go away.)

"Who was that, anyway?"

(The conversation continues.)

"well, I didn't know! Their face was covered, but, but they must have been confident to try something like that here."

"Oh! What kinda craft did they use? Maybe that'll give us a clue."

"Protection craft, felt it when they tried to hit me, pretty crabbing bad at craft."

"If this was a professional I would have thought they'd target someone with Pierce craft. What were they wearing?"

"Hard to make it out, just a big old cloak and a nasty dagger..."

"Oh!! They did have some broche with a white star on it!! It looked familiar.."

"The Kings armor."

(The others turn to you as you speak up, you continue.)

"The Kings armor has stars on it, white stars." (Wishing stars.)

"I guess you would have seen it a lot..." (Thanks Mirabelle.)

"So this guy's related to the King somehow?" (said Isabeau, thinking.)

"Doubtful, but if they're related to the King, that would explain their choice of craft." (Odile continued,) "If they knew Siffrin was supposed to escort Bonnie then having a craft that beats his makes sense."

(The table fell silent, the King was frozen at the Pinnacle of the house of change. There was no way the King could still be an issue now. Not after all they had been through.)

(all you had been through.)

(What a wonderful joke, Universe! I'm laughing more than I have in a thousand loops! Ahahahahahhahahaha!!!)

(Gentler, please, we already have a headache.)

"We're trying to finish a house without all our nails," (Nille said, leaning back in her chair.) "Boniface is safe now, at least. We could at least go ask the Defenders about it."

"Tomorrow. Today's been headache inducing enough." (Odile said with authority. You opened your mouth to protest, but her look cut you off.)

"It could be nothing, too! Just some random accident, or something..." (Oh Mira...)

"I'm just too popular, naturally, my adoring fans wanted my attention." (You say cheekily.)

"Oh can I be your bouncer, Sif? Can't have your fanclub bothering you!" (Isa said with his big ol grin.)

"Of course! I would be honored-"

"Get a room you two!" (Nille said, obviously having fun with it. That made Isa very embarrassed and you turn away just a bit.)

"Is there anything else we should discuss while we're here?" (asked Odile, exasperated.)

"Nope! All good here!"

"I-I don't think So?"

"Nah, nothing to discuss."

"... Siffrin?"

(Odile was looking at you. You wanted to say you didn't have anything to add. You wanted to smile and say everything was ok.)

(Then why don't you.)

(Because they're our family, they deserve to know, right?)

(And if you are wrong about them.)

(Then we'll just loop back! As the Universe has forced on us oh so many times~)

(That.. hardly makes it any better.)

(Sooo we're agreed~?)

(... We will regret this.)

(Maybe... But we made a promise.)

(You open your mouth....)

[hananosami]

Greatest Fear

synopsis: Let us deep dive into Gojo Satoru's subconscious, as he recalls the difficulties he faced right after his best friend's death. Where he's then reminded by the reader, someone who had also suffered the very same lost, that he should continue to live on in his memory, and cherish those that are still alive.

"おかえりさとる。"

word count: 2k +

Author’s Note: This was heavily inspired by a song that I listened to, as I drove back home. Where I imagined how Gojo would look at the reader and slowly come into a realization that his own youth isn't over- that she was still here, someone that remained constant from his youth. That what he should fear the most, would be that if he never felt anything at all after his friend's death. That human emotions, and spending time with those who matter the most, no matter how short their chapter is in his life- should be what he cherished, not feared. Yes, I took parts of my fic and put it in here..

Warning: minor spoilers from Gojo's Arc, Shibuya Incident & JJK 0. Slight angst.

Gojo Satoru is the strongest Jujutsu sorcerer, he always has been. From the moment he was born, the higher-ups knew that he'd either be wrapped around their little fingers, or be the biggest headache they'll ever come to receive. As soon as he was brought into this world, there was that shift in the world and somehow both curses and jujutsu sorcerers knew to fear him. 

He continued to live by his name, as he lived each and every day brimming in confidence. He knew exactly what he was capable of, he knows that he is the strongest and most powerful sorcerer in the Jujutsu World. Sukuna is no easy feat for other Jujutsu Sorcerers, but to Gojo Satoru? Sukuna was nothing more than just a plaything, that if he wanted to, he could easily kill him. He can be the most cold-blooded individual in the battlefield, that if he had no choice, he will choose the destruction of his enemy- even if that meant that the death of many innocent lives; of course, he would never intentionally take the life of an innocent person. 

Yet, he always felt alone.

Gojo Satoru has always been alone, from the day he was born. He never needed anyone, that was before he started going to Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School, where he met the two people that would change his life forever. One would be his best friend, the person he genuinely believed to be his 'one and only'. Therefore it shouldn't be much of a surprise when he took his death harshly, being tasked to execute the one person he could compare to being subpar with himself.

For a year, he became a recluse, hiding himself in his dormitory room- running away from reality. He refused to face it, that he had killed his 'best friend, his one and only'. The only time he would come out, would be because he's been told that he actually has to be a teacher, or he'd be drowning himself in missions as a distraction. But he avoided his colleagues like the plague and the only other woman that was constant in his life, avoiding each and every interaction he'd have with his colleagues that only expressed their worries from him.

When Satoru did come out of his dormitory room, (Y/N) would come rushing to get a chance to talk to him. Asking him how he was, stating, "Satoru, be honest with me. I'm serious, how are you?" To which he'd answer, "I'm fine, (Y/N)! I swear, you worry too much!" Just like that, their conversation would end. And the young woman would stand there, as he watched the silhouette of his back get further and further away from him. 

They were the trio, that's what they had called themselves. 

It's always been him, Geto and you- the three of you against the world; and of course Shoko, if she ever bothered to deal with the three of you. He could still remember as clear as day, the times they've all spent carelessly in happiness- never once thinking of the future and lived in the moment. As days passed and the emotional wounds he sustained tried to heal, Gojo would try to convince himself that he did the right thing. Only to be met with thoughts of self-loathing, the whispers on the back of his mind, stating "you're always meant to be alone, Gojo Satoru."

But he'd be brought back to reality, as he sees that picture frame that sat on a desk in his dormitory. It was a picture of the three of them, before it had all gone downhill. He was laughing his head off, and along side him was Getō Suguru and (Y/N), who was smushed unto his side- as his arm was hooked around her shoulder. It was the seventeen year old Satoru, who had no worries, no sense of responsibility and only thought of himself. And the person he had his arm slung on was Getō Suguru, his best friend, the only friend he ever considered to be a real 'friend'. 

After Suguru's betrayal, the facade he had put up was like a veil that was put on an area where spirits needed to be exorcised. True intentions hidden behind that child-like behavior, laughter to hide that he was hurting too. The trauma that he had dealt with throughout the years, no matter how hard he had tried to hide it behind that happy-go-lucky attitude- you knew he had regrets, several of them. 

But he'd notice, the way you continued to stay by his side.

The way you'd pester him constantly, telling him that he needs to have a better diet. Reminding him that one day his terrible eating habits will come bite his ass, when he's old and no longer at his prime. He'd watch the way you'd look at him with those eyes, ones that never judged someone by their looks- but with their character. The way you'd force him to eat, when he refused to eat, placing the spoon against his lips.

He never understood why you stood by his side, when all he's ever done was push you away constantly. But you'd stay, you'd continue to bring snacks by his dormitory, even if meant just giving him sweets- rather than actual meals. It wasn't just Getō Suguru that you had lost that day after all, you lost Gojo as well. So you stayed patient, consistent, until he allowed you back into his heart. Never once did you ask for anything back, you just hoped that your friend's once gleaming eyes filled with so much playfulness would come back. 

He'd allow you back in.

Although you knew, that Satoru still continued to keep you at arms length. Never once truly letting you get through his infinity, but you'd wait patiently, allowing him to take as much time he needed to recuperate. That time may never come, and from an outside perspective, it seemed like you were just putting yourself through an unneeded hell. 

Yet, you couldn't help but stay. Maybe it was the guilt, the feelings of maybe you could've done something- talked to Suguru about it all. But you did, you tried your hardest- yet he made his choice. And you'd remember one of the last few moments that the two of you had with each other, a final moment spent with each other, before he was killed a few weeks after. 

"You and Gojo, take care of each other." 

You let out a soft laugh, upon hearing his words. "Why do you sound like you're gonna leave us, Sugu?" Silence, when the silence lasted longer than a couple of minutes, you turned your head to face him. You were met with a Suguru who watched the stars that lit up the gloomy night sky, "Suguru..?" You mumbled quietly, as you watched him turn his head towards you and give you a half-smile.

Your heart clenched at the sight, "Are you really planning on leaving us?" Your lips pursing into a thin line, a solemn facial expression plastered unto your face. He let out a bitter chuckle, knowing well enough of his faith and the consequences that were soon going to follow him. He reached a hand up and ruffled your hair, his rough hand eventually reaching your face, his calloused fingers caressing your cheeks. 

"Please, always make sure to take care of each other."

Then on October 31st, 2018, Gojo Satoru has been sealed inside of the prison realm. Only then will Gojo begin to realize how much time he's actually lost, and his heart slowly welled up in appreciation of everything that he had taken for granted. Within this darkness, his only friend were the memories of her. He closed his eyes, as the fleeting memories of you played like a broken jukebox. 

Memories of you sitting in front of your office desk at the apartment that the both of you had just moved into, your back turned to him, as you wrote your report of the recent infestation of curses. Remembering the moment that you had turned your office chair around and smiled at him, "Okaeri, 'Toru." Then there it was, the warmth that had once bothered him, now swole up in his chest. It was nothing more than just a 'welcome home', yet he could still remember the way your hair was pinned up by a hair clip. The way the end of your eyes creased whenever you smiled at him, and that slight pink undertone on your cheeks. 

Years had passed, yet that same warmth always lingered- unchanging. Even when he saw others speak of how they all eventually got bored of their significant other, or they weren't the right person for them- that wasn't the case for him. Even if the two of you had your fair share of fights, he just couldn't help but succumb- it always made him feel uneasy if the two of you didn't make up. How you made him feel never changed, it always felt like the two of you had just started dating and he'd get butterflies in his stomach every time he saw you.

It felt like you were the only thing keeping him sane, within this prison.

Like you were a bright star in the darkest of nights, leading him back to you. He knew he should've kissed you more, maybe even be selfish and didn't go to Shibuya that day. That he should've stayed in bed with you longer, asked you to make him more tamagoyakis. But these were now nothing but regrets, all he can do now is return to your side. 

Besides feeling like his entire world was being torn apart, he couldn't help but feel troubled about what had happened to everyone in Shibuya after he was sealed. Questions as to whether or not his students and colleagues were still alive, or how his once closest friend stood right before him. He knew it wasn't Suguru, he knew that deep in his soul that it wasn't him- that there was no way it could be him. Gojo Satoru killed him, because he still remembered to this day- the absolute devastation that your face had contorted to after hearing the news. He would shake those thoughts away from his headspace, as he continued to stare at the skeletons that were now his only friend in this threshold. He'd feel..

Frustrated. 

He clenched his hands into fists, his knuckles turning white, knowing well that there was nothing he could do. You must've been crying, and that's what infuriated him the most. He had promised to be there for you for the times that you felt like you couldn't deal with the world anymore- but now, here he was, completely helpless. He wanted to be the one there by your side, wiping your tears away, reassuring you that everything would be alright. But he will come back, he had promised you that, he always promised to come back to you no matter the circumstance.

So he did, the moment that Gojo Satoru had escaped that prison- his first thought was to come back to you. What he didn't expect would be the injuries that you had sustained, as he stared at the utter shock splattered unto your face. "'T.. 'Toru?" You'd whisper in disbelief, and he'd watch as you rubbed your bruised eyes with your forearm- as if you were trying to make sure that you weren't seeing things. 

He'd feel that lump build up in his throat, as he eyed your body. The way you had a sling over your shoulder to support your right arm that was wrapped in a cast, or how you had cuts and bruises all over your beautiful face, he'd feel anger well up within him- only to be cut off by the softness of your voice. "Is it really you..?" Still in disbelief, you'd limp towards him, your eyebrows furrowed towards the middle- creating that crease in between your eyebrows. 

"I'm home."

He'd smile, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, as he meets her halfway and wraps his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry for taking so long, didn't mean to keep you waiting..." He'd mumble against her forehead, as he gives her a soft kiss. An apology, not just for being trapped in that realm for so long and keeping her waiting, but also for the way he's treated her for that entire year when she's only meant well.

She'd wrap her uninjured arm around him, her nose against the crook of his neck, intaking in his scent. (Y/N) would weep against his shoulder, feeling the snowy haired man gently rub his hand against her lower back as a sign of comfort. There could be no amount of words that could explain the fullness that he felt well in his heart, as he welcomed the once unwanted warmth that took over his chest. Allowing himself to feel the emotions that he had kept behind that wall, and permitting the woman in front of him to break down those walls he has built up in that year of self-loathing.

"Okaeri, 'Toru.."

[deadeyedaisy]

Tales of Destiny ~PROUST~ Forgotten Chronicle rough summary

I wasn't sure where else to post this, and Tumblr seemed like the one that would get the most use out of it.

So, I streamed my blind run through TODDC with Kio for the past several months. I ended up getting really into TOD from how much cleaner the presentation of the story and characters were over the PSX version, and was really frustrated that nobody had translated the drama CD, which had been hiding like 95% of Leon's characterization until the remake came along.

I kept a notepad of stuff to talk about during those streams. Sometimes it was off-topic things, sometimes it was little tangents about parts of the game that I thought of over the week until we'd play again. Sometimes it was summaries of supplemental material that was never localized. But most of the time, that material was translated by a fan.

Nobody has fully translated Proust. I wanted it to be translated. So I listened to it as hard as I could and summarized as best I could. The following are the unedited notes as I wrote them to be read during stream, rather than a direct translation or anything formal. I'm not good enough at Japanese to fully translate it. I'm so not good at Japanese that there's probably a lot of errors throughout this summary, too. I hope someone eventually comes along and gives us a full translation.

Also note that I'm not great at recognizing the voices of anyone that isn't the main cast of protagonists, so I probably mix up the antagonists or the generals' identities a lot.

--------------------------

So I went back through the drama cd, and I think I've got a few more little details. I could be wrong about a lot of this since there's no translation and I am really fucking bad at Japanese. But this should actually clear up a lot of misconceptions that we, or I had throughout this entire game. Foolish me for just believing everything TVTropes told me instead of trying to comb the drama cd myself.

(track 1-01 Thunder + track 1-03 Lullaby) Chris tried to escape with both children, but Hugo sent the goon squad after her?? and they managed to take Leon and mortally wound Chris. She drags herself back to the mansion to see Leon again and asks him not to hate Hugo, because this certainly isn't the same kind person she married. [I previously summarized it based on this post, which does a much better job of summarizing track 1-03: https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/136918641610/so-after-the-horrible-sad-feels-from-the-emilio]

(track 1-02 History That Was Forgotten is just Leon saying the title of the CD)

(track 1-04 Yes, My Lady) Less than 2 years before the game starts. The girls in Leon's class aren't very good at dance lessons yet, so he complains to Marian that all the girls are stupid-- oh but not you Marian, it's only other girls that are dumb. lol I can't catch why Leon's mad at Hugo this time, but Marian sticks up for Hugo, since he's the one who pretty much discovered how useful Lens could be to further technology and make modern life easier, and has for the most part made it all affordable. She's also grateful that he hired her when she had nothing. Marian wants Leon to make friends with the girls because she's worried he'll be all alone. Leon says he's fine alone and that he'll only grow stronger, and to distract Marian, decides to teach her the dance he learned, calling her "my lady". At the end, he says he'll be fine as long as he has Marian. Hugo walks in on them and Leon quickly makes an excuse but Hugo just puts him down for hanging with the staff and tells him to get to sword practice. Leon seems excited for it. Leon whispers to Marian that they'll practice dancing again. Marian says she's looking forward to it, but when he leaves, she sadly mumbles that he's a pitiful child. (Not in a mean way)

(track 1-05 True) [Oops I didn't cover this one. It's just villainy anyway. Who listens to Proust to hear Mictlan-Hugo monologue?]

(track 1-06 Man of the Mask) I forgot about this detail and its MASSIVE importance. In the original, Leon and Hugo's relation wasn't known for a long time. In the remake, their relation is paraded around loudly. Hugo will not let anyone forget that Leon is his son, and Leon's motivation is to not be a nepo baby. But in the original, specifically in the drama CD, Hugo doesn't want their relation known. He doesn't want Leon around while he's doing business because it might reveal their relation. He reprimands him for coming home while he's doing business and tells him not to come home so often. Leon was actually excited to let him know of one of his missions' successes, on his 15th birthday no less. Chaltier tries to comfort Leon when he's basically told to gtfo, but Leon tells him he's not sad at all, and that he just wants to be acknowledged by someone as skilled as Hugo. His cadence is fairly fond as he says all this, but he's awfully insistent about it. Like thou-doth-protest-too-much insistent. Leon thinks he saw a masked man, but Chaltier says he doesn't sense anyone. They go on their way, but a filtered voice of Hugo calls Leon's name.

(track 1-07 Emilio) The following track makes it more clear that yes, he was actually very fucking upset about it. I already talked about this track since it was one of the only 2 tracks that were fully translated by someone else. Where Marian has a little private birthday party for him and he breaks down. With the added context of the previous track, the breakdown makes a bit more sense. He's just been told and brushed off again by Hugo even after so many smashing successes. Took it upon himself to put up a strong front in front of Chaltier. Then Marian does this gesture of kindness that I guess makes him feel like he's being treated like a child or mocked, and that's the last straw. Marian is of course calling him Emilio, and he refuses that name because Emilio is worthless, nobody needs Emilio, and he's all alone. He insists he's Leon Magnus, because he's at least useful as a tool for Hugo. Marian doesn't like him calling himself a tool. Says he's her precious Emilio. And Leon cries. [Previously summarized based on this post, which actually has a full translation!: https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/136880537875/jeredu-spoilers-for-tales-of-destiny-for]

(track 1-08 Family) Next track takes place a year later and has Leon being the wunderkind beating everybody and being taken under Finley's wing. They've all got praise for him but are a little put off by him being so uptight. Late at night, Leon sneaks into Marian's room through her window because of the lecture he got about COMING HOME TOO OFTEN jfc. He's excited to tell Marian about officially working with the knights, and asks to dance with her. I think I skipped a bit. Leon only started trying to become a knight because Hugo told him to, so that he'd have a pawn within the castle to help further Oberon's goals. I think he moved out of the mansion after the last track to dedicate himself more fully to cementing his position there?? I'm probably wrong. But he's been a lot happier this way. Later that night, Chaltier tries to suggest that Leon just continues living like this and become a full fledged and honest knight instead of working for Hugo, because all of the generals seem to like him and are nice people. Buuuut Leon's already fallen asleep. Boo

(track 1-09 Nightmare) Next track has Leon and Finley talking and they think Greybaum's sus. They meet with Greybaum and Chal also thinks he's sus. That night, Leon has a nightmare where a man is telling him he can save Rutee. Except Leon doesn't know who Rutee is yet, or her name. The man is wearing a mask like the one from the mansion. It seems to be the real Hugo. He attacks Leon when he knocks his mask off I think?? and I guess Leon wakes up and is back at the mansion temporarily? I have no idea what's going on here but Hugo's not doing great and Leon rushes to his aid but Hugo basically tells him to gtfo his house again. I think real Hugo is fighting Mictlan, because Leon says something about Berserius. Belserius. Berselius. Fuck it. Scene change and Leon's at a tavern or something. The waitress fawns a bit, showing his good reputation has spread. Leon thinks about the nightmare and what the heck a Rutee is. Then he overhears some guy talking about a demonic lens hunter dude and the waitress is like oh nah you mean that girl Rutee? and Leon all but trips over himself to go aggressively interrogate the waitress. The guy she was talking to gets mad and tries to attack Leon and a fight starts. Finley shows up and slaps Leon and reprimands him and I think threatens him?? But Leon got the information he wanted out of the waitress.

(track 2-01 Masquerade) Next track. The villains talk stealing the Eye of Atamoni. A masquerade ball is held in Seinegald. Leon's all ready to be big bad security but Finley says he should blend in and dance. But he ain't got no fancy clothes! So Finley arranges to get him some fancy clothes. He's about to arrange for a partner too but Leon's like nah I got a girl for this and yoinks Marian up. She's worried she's not allowed to attend such a party, but Leon assures her she's part of the mission so it's fine. She tries to make excuses to not go but he shoots them all down. He sounds like he's having just oodles of fun on the carriage ride with her to the ball. He's laughing and smiling and it's just great. This moment is probably literally the happiest Leon will ever be in his entire life lol He… sneaks her in through the BACK DOOR and gets stopped by guards who ask who dis. And he says, "my partner" and they say they can't let randos in and he says NO SHE'S MY PARTNER and they say :/ that's not good enough bro, come on, and Marian takes his arm all suggestive like and says "What part of partner don't you understand ;)" and they let them in??? okay But Marian hasn't received her dress yet, so Leon's waiting for her to get dressed. And Chal teases him a bunch implying Leon's nervous to see her in her fancy dress. Leon tells him to shut up but Chal notes he's blushing really hard. But, Leon suddenly sees the masked man again, and this time Chal sees him too. Leon attacks but he disappears. He hears the voice and he's big mad 'cause he thinks he's being jerked around so he shouts a lot. Marian hears him shouting and rushes to him and real-Hugo goes whoops sorry about that I guess lmao and goes away. The ball gets into full swing and allll the girls are wowed by how pretty Leon's partner is. Marian says she feels awkward and Leon tells her she's beautiful, but she still doesn't think she should have come. He asks her to dance, she tries to make excuses not to, but he keeps asking, calling her "Lady" again like when they danced alone ;A; aaaa So they dance, and Leon is just so entranced and whispers that he wants to go far far away together to a place with only them, that's quiet and warm. He says something like he lost such a promised place inside of him a long time ago, but feels that it's also right there with her, and he's about to say something that MIGHT have been a confession, but they're interrupted by an attack and are separated. SO YEAH I'D SAY HIS FEELINGS FOR HER ARE PRETTY ROMANTIC. HOLY SHIT. I felt like I was listening to one of those listener-POV CDs where they do nothing but sweet-talk you, gosh. Whether his feelings are actually romantic or not, he's still just entirely fucking smitten with her. oh my god.

(track 2-02 Venomous Snake) Next track, I have no idea what's going on because I'm not familiar enough with all the villains' voices, but it's villain stuff. I think it's Greybaum mostly, and they're messing with King Isaac, the Phandaria King. And Greybaum is evil monologuing but Leon was hiding in the room and ambushes him. Hugo shows up before Leon can do any damage and something happens or is talked about, idk, villains get away. Leon's like what the fuck, dad, they tried to kill the king. Hugo says Isaac's spent too long in office and ain't doin his job right no more. So it's fiiine just let it go, besides, Graybaum's gonna be a useful tool. And the word "tool" sets Leon off 'cause it's always about tools with Hugo, and Hugo goes YEAH, A TOOL, A TOOL JUST LIKE YOU. I'VE BUILT HIM UP AND I'M TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIM, JUST LIKE I DID TO YOUUUU. And he demands Leon apologize but Leon says no, he's done being Hugo's puppet, he's going to live for himself, he's not going to accept this shitty fate anymore, he's going to carve his own path and make a place for himself in Seinegald. And Hugo goes "Ohoho what silly thoughts Finley's put in your head. Sure, you could do all that, you could escape me no problem, you're good enough for it, but I wonder how Marian is doing~ Sure hope she's okay after getting separated from you. It's just such a scary world out there, you never know when or where such a fragile little thing like her could get got." So basically the ongoing threat on Marian's life has begun. It's not explicitly stated, but obviously the implication is that Leon could leave and take Marian with him, but Hugo will get to her one way or another. Then it's just 20 full seconds of Leon desperately calling and looking for Marian.

(track 2-03 Requiem) Next track, he finds Marian and clings to her and sobs in relief that she's okay. She says yeah it's okay I'm fine, but Leon just cries harder. Later after he's calmed down, he brings up that far away warm place he spoke about. He wonders where that could even be anymore. Probably somewhere further than the moon. He wonders if he can go there. Then it's very suddenly Finley's funeral. People are crying. The priest is praying. People are swearing vengeance. Hugo, Chaltier, and Finley's voice echo in Leon's head. Hugo coercing Leon into poisoning Finley. Chaltier asking him not to do it. Finley telling Leon they're alike in that they both lost their parents at birth. That he'd like for Leon to think of him as his father, because he thinks of Leon as his son, I think. Hugo reminding him where his place is, and that that's never going to change. Finley succumbing to the poison, in disbelief that it was Leon, and desperately asking why. Leon's sure he's never going to get to that place. Hugo and friends do some villain talk and make some snide remarks at Leon, and he just says it's fine. He's defeated at this point.

(track 2-04 Rutee) Next track has Leon on his way to Cresta to look for whoever Rutee is. Chaltier recognizes the name a little but doesn't remember. Rutee runs into him and runs away, but Chaltier recognizes Atwight on her back right away and they give chase. Rutee's giving gifts to the kids at the orphanage, is asked how she made the money for this and she's like "eehh I worked really hard :D" Chal finally remembers Rutee was the name Chris spoke of before she died and he's super excited that Leon's not all alone, that he still has his sister. But Leon just runs away. Chal's like what the fuck, where are you going, and Leon says it's been 15 years, so it doesn't matter, they're not family. Chal keeps trying to get him to go back to Rutee, insisting she must have been looking for her family for a long time, and that he should reach out to her. Leon admits that he's scared that Rutee won't accept him. Chal tells him that's stupid. Leon admits he's scared of Rutee also betraying him like Hugo did, and cries that he's truly all alone. The track ends.

(track 2-05 Flow of Fate) Next track, it's revealed Greybaum's theft of the Eye of Atamoni was actually not in the plan. He did that on his own and betrayed them. They plan for Leon to lead the investigation and gather the swordian users. Leon asks if Hugo knows who wields Atwight, and Hugo, like a fox, says mmmyessss. During Leon's first real meeting with Rutee, while she goes off on him, he's thinking to himself that he wishes he met her sooner, but he's too dirtied to face her for real by now. Chaltier insists to him that it's not too late, but Leon refuses. A bunch of scenes of Leon traveling with Stahn's group pass. Leon thinks about how Rutee has good friends and a home and family to return to, and feels even worse that he can't be happy for her. He hates himself for it, but he can't help it. Chaltier tells him he could become a part of her family. Leon says it'd be nice, since he's being shown such a warm place, but he can't escape his fate. More scenes pass, and Leon is moved by Stahn's resolve. He thinks maybe he was wrong about fate, because everyone is fighting. More scenes pass, and Leon is even moved by Batista and Greybaum, because they went against Hugo. Even if they couldn't win against their fates, they still tried. He's confused and doesn't know what to do, but Chaltier doesn't have answers for him. The only thing he knows he can do is protect Marian. The only reason he has to keep living is Marian.

It continues in the mines. Hugo and friends say they need to buy time to escape Stahn's group. He tells Leon to stall them as long as possible, and then detonate an explosive. Tells him exactly what will happen, down to the sea water flooding in. So Leon absolutely knows he's going to die if he agrees to do this. Leon asks to be alone with Marian, as his first and final request as Hugo's son. Marian observes that Leon doesn't want to go through with this. Leon says it's fine, he'll just do what he's told. He asks why Marian is here, why she's still a maid for Hugo. Marian answers it's because Hugo was trying to save the world, or whatever. She owes him a lot. So she'll do whatever she's told, too. Leon asks what'll happen if he dies. Marian says she'll probably never stop crying. Leon asks how much, for how long, because it's not possible to cry for him for her whole life. Says she'll probably cry for a bit, but eventually she'll meet someone he doesn't know, fall in love, get married, and have children, and she'll forget all about him, and then he'll truly be gone and not exist anymore. He'll disappear. Leon cries, really hard. He pulls himself together, apologizes, says she should go. She goes, but she calls after him that it was fun. That being with him was like a dream. He says quietly to himself that, yeah, it was like a dream to him, too. (The wording is different from the opening song! Important to note because the remake did a full on title drop in its climax. The opening song is 「夢であるように」, but the wording here is 「夢みたい」. But it's still probably a 100% intentional reference to the opening song.) [I cut off here because I previously summarized these two posts about the end of this track, which is an exchange with Chaltier: https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/136997902840/i-dunno-if-its-possible-to-fall-in-love-with-a https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/137057162215/checked-with-a-friend-who-knows-more-japanese-and]

[I yada-yada'd track 2-06 Father, Friend because I already summarized it previously based on this post: https://jeredu.tumblr.com/post/143045097730/i-finally-typed-up-a-summary-of-father-friend]

(track 2-07 -Epilogue- Yes, My Lady) In the final track, Rutee is visiting Marian. She asks Marian to live with her. Marian declines, saying she has to keep Emilio's room clean for him for when he comes back. Rutee says he's already gone, but Marian interrupts and asks Rutee to dance. She teaches her how to dance. She calls Rutee "My lady" like Leon did with her.

-----------------------------

May I just say, if Leon retained his character from the drama CD in the remake, he absolutely would have broken down crying after Stahn convinced him they could work together to save Marian. And maybe hugged him or held his outstretched hand with both of his. While crying. Drama CD Leon is a huge crybaby and I'm so here for him. I was disappointed he didn't get to cry through the remake.

And also that hot damn, Hikaru Midorikawa was allowed to emote SO MUCH MORE in the drama CD than in the entirety of the remake, not even counting all the crying he does.

[felice-jaganshi]

His Pet

Chapter 16 (Final chapter!)

(At least until the sequel)

(CW: Consensual cannibalism)

 

"I bet you could play Doom on vox's screen. Heh, that'd be a funny prank. Especially if he turns it off right away, you could say something like 'wow, you can't even run the most basic of code? How pathetic’." She smiled mischievously, they had gone out on another walk. Heading towards cannibal town to meet with Rosie. She had invited them, saying she had a very special treat for him, and to bring Zariah along.

“What an inspiring idea my dear, I'll have to put it into practice someday… but tell me, what is this ‘Doom’ you speak of, some television show?” He gave a little head tilt, and she laughed before going into a whole explanation on the video game and why the joke was funny. Though, he didn't truly seem that interested in what she was saying, just enjoying the energy with which it was being said.

 

They arrived at Rosie's and Susan immediately started giving Alastor trouble, wanting to pick a bit of a fight about some nonsense or another. 

Meanwhile, Zariah went with Rosie back into her back room to prepare Alastor's present that the two had schemed on.

 

Rosie eventually came back out and waved to Susan who immediately stopped giving Alastor shit when she did, walking away. Her distraction was done.

Alastor made his way into Rosie's parlor with a slight grumble, “Ornery old bitch needs to be stuffed in a box and thrown down the fucking river.” His smile never faltered. Rosie couldn't help but laugh at that.

“Oh Al, this time she was just being a distraction so you wouldn't ruin the surprise Zariah had planned for you. She needed my help with it, since I'm the only one who would agree to her crazy idea.”

 

This caught his attention, “Oh? What kind of crazy idea?” He looked around, “Where is she?”

The door to the back room opened and Zariah came out holding something large and oddly shaped, wrapped in heavy satin with a bow around the middle.

“Right here Al! Don't worry, I didn't go far. I just wanted to surprise you, and Rosie's the only one you'd leave me alone with outside the hotel.” She set down the present on the table.

He tilted his head, “Oh? And what kind of gift is this, my dear?” He looked it over before pulling at one end of the bow to unravel it. “And what is this present in exchange for? Your rescue from that moth, I assume?” 

“Sorta, there's a second present waiting back in my room too. But that's a ‘just because’ present.” He pulled back the cloth and his eyes went wide.

 

“ Darling… what am I looking at? ” He sounded… confused. Unsure if he should be angry or elated.

“My wings grew back! And I heard you and Rosie talk the other day how angel flesh was so much tastier than any sinner you ever had. So… I wanted to give my wings to you!” She sounded so cheerful and excited. “You like them right? I know it's not a ‘prime cut’ or whatever the word is. But it's part of me I can happily live without, and there's a good chance they'll grow back again! I just had to promise Rosie if they do grow back again, she gets one of them next time too.”

 

Alastor ran a hand through the feathers, looking troubled by this before turning to look at the two women he loved most in all of hell. “I… you mutilated yourself for me? I'd never have asked this of you.”

Zariah's smile softened, “I know… but I wanted to do this for you. Give you a special part of myself.” 

 

Rosie sighed at this, “it's a truly romantic gesture, Alastor. And don't worry, it was completely her idea, and I was able to remove them without any further damage done. I was extra careful with our little angel.” She pet Zariah's head and she purred at the touch, tails swishing around happily.

“Rosie… I… I'm conflicted. I'm certainly excited about such a wonderful gift… but I also feel betrayed that you'd hurt her, even with her permission, behind my back.” 

 

“Oh Alastor… I'm sorry, I didn't think about it like that. But, it's her body, and her choice. Isn't it?”

“Perhaps, but she gave me possession of her soul in exchange for being her protector and caretaker. I have an obligation to protect her even from her own foolishness.” He held out a hand to Zariah, and she gave Rosie a tight hug before going to take his hand. He pulled her to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

 

“Al, if she didn't help, I still would have tried to do it on my own. Don't be cross with her.” She nuzzled into his chest, hoping acting cute would spare Rosie any wrath from him. He placed a hand on the back of her neck in a loose grip.

“Love, you'd really disobey me like that?”

“If it was for your benefit, absolutely. You have no clue the depth of my devotion to you.” She looked up at him with a determined light in her eyes. It almost scared him a little. He sighed in defeat.

 

“Well, I suppose we better cook these wings up while they're still fresh. Rosie, will you share these with me? That way what Zariah owes you is paid and she won't have to cut any more off.”

 

“Well, I certainly won't say no to that. How would you like them cooked up?” She smiled, glad he had calmed down. She'd hate to have to fight him, he was like a brother to her.

“ Barbecue. ” He said confidently, he knew they'd taste wonderful barbecued. 

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_--_

And that's the end for now! The sequel is almost done with its first draft as well. It will be darker and have more drama than this one did though. So get hype! Love you all!

[silverynight]

The roommate

<---Previous

Part XV

When another person dissappears, Izuku starts worrying again. The situation has gotten clearly worse and everyone is aware of it because that day at work, everyone stays completely silent for a couple of hours.

Izuku used to think that his coworkers constant teasing was a little bit too much and sometimes it irritated him, but right now he misses it. Everything is better than to keep thinking about the victims.

He finishes Ashido's new suit, more colorful and enduring than the last one and the green haired man decides to be proud of it just for a moment before collapsing in his own chair and start thinking about all those pro heroes suffering without their partners.

It's a horrible situation.

"It's getting late," Hatsume commets, looking a little bit distracted as well. "I think we should go home now."

At least in that "office" he's the only one who's in a relationship with not one, but two pro heroes.

Which is why it doesn't surprise him when a couple of his coworkers volunteer to take him home or at least wait with him outside until Izuku's uber arrives.

"There's no need," Izuku assures them with a dismissive gesture of his hand. "They'll both come to pick me up."

His coworkers look much more relaxed, but a couple of them stay with him until the two pro heroes arrive.

Izuku really appreciates it.

They used to get out and have dinner in their favorite restaurant at least once a week, but Izuku knows they're too nervous and concerned to even suggest something like that.

However, they do kiss and hug Izuku like they usually do before leaving the building. They don't speak that much on the way home, but Izuku holds both their boyfriends hands and enjoys the warmth of their palms against his.

***

That night, before Katsuki has to leave for his shift, he cuddles Izuku for a while; he knows the pro hero is not only worried about him, but all the people that they haven't found yet.

Shoto refuses to talk about what's going on and instead spends his time making dinner for Izuku.

"I can make dinner myself," he chuckles, although he sounds more nervous than happy. "You don't have to do this for me."

"I want to. I like making you happy and taking care of you," Shoto assures him as he stubbornly keeps making dinner for the both of them.

They have dinner, but they're quiet most of the time, except for that moment after Shoto gets a call from Katsuki, asking about Izuku.

The green haired man can tell it's getting worse.

"I'm fine," he finds himself saying, holding Shoto's phone in his hand.

"I know," Katsuki says. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

It's really difficult for Izuku to get mad at them for being overprotective when they're that sweet.

"Take care of yourself, Kacchan."

"I will."

"Hey... what's... how is everything going? Have they found the people yet?"

Before Katsuki can say anything, Shoto snatches his phone away. Izuku narrows his eyes at him.

He whispers something before ending the call.

Izuku crosses both arms over his chest, still frowning at his boyfriend.

"You know we can't tell you anything about the investigation, love."

"I'm just worried about the people!"

"We are too," Shoto assures him, getting closer to him. Izuku sighs after seeing his sad puppy face and lets the pro hero pull him into his arms.

Later that night, as they lie into each other's arms on the bed, Shoto gives Izuku a kiss on the back of his neck.

"I don't think we'd stay working as pro heroes if something happened to you." He confesses in a whisper; it's like he doesn't want Izuku to hear it, but he can't help but say it out loud.

"What do you mean?" Izuku asks, turning around on the bed to look at Shoto in the eyes.

He shakes his head, refusing to answer, but he gives Izuku another kiss instead, this time on his forehead.

There are shadows in his eyes that Izuku doesn't like.

"Nothing is going to happen to me," he promises in a whisper, even though they both know he can't.

***

Instead of sleeping like he should, Katsuki takes Izuku to work early in the morning; he's still wearing his hero suit and he's clearly tired, but it doesn't matter how many times Izuku insists he'll be fine, the blond pro hero refuses to listen to him.

He had a silent conversation with Shoto, right before he left for work; Izuku just watched feeling helpless.

He doesn't like that feeling; when he was just a kid he suffered because he was quirkless, thinking he'd be useless his whole life, of course he was wrong because nobody is useless.

However, that motivated him to study engineering and design in order to work on hero suits and making new gear for them. For years, that made him feel good with himself; helping the pro heroes in something so important to them was everything for Izuku.

But now that feeling of helplessness has come back and he's not that sure he likes it. Maybe he's just overreacting, perhaps it's just his anxiety speaking.

"You seem more concerned than a couple of days ago. What do you know?" Izuku whispers, bringing Katsuki's forehead against his. He doesn't want to get inside Hatsume's lab without making sure his boyfriend is okay.

Katsuki just shakes his head, but he leans closer to kiss Izuku all over the face.

"Listen, Kacchan..." He starts, remembering Shoto's concerning words. "If something happens to me—"

"Shut up," Katsuki cuts him off immediately, narrowing his eyes, but pulling him even closer at the same time.

"Kacchan, we need to talk about this!" Izuku insists. "If something happens to me, you'll keep being a hero, right? You'll still save people..."

"So you talked with Shoto, huh?" Katsuki huffs, looking amused, but the feeling doesn't reach his eyes, instead there are shadows and darkness Izuku doesn't like: "But I think you misunderstood him; we wouldn't quit, they'd probably quick us out."

"Why, because you lost someone? That doesn't make sense!"

"Because heroes don't take revenge."

The implications of that are scary, especially because Katsuki doesn't hesitate. However, the shadows disappear as soon as his eyes meet Izuku's and he softens immediately.

"But it'll be fine because nothing will happen to you. I'll make sure of it."

***

Next--->

Patreon

[universalzones]

"The guy behind this is named Clutch, who you've had a run it from what he's told me. As for where he is, well, I said I fucked up royally. He's in the Grand Prix airship which is armed to the teeth with weapons. If Miles is flying here then you may want to warn him they'll try to shoot him down." Not like anyone was on the ship who could cause enough of a distraction to delay them from shooting anything that flies too close. It didn't help it was right over the base making her think Clutch planned this.

Surge then ripped off the entrance to the sewer, tossing it far into the distance. "Never wanted to share that with me, though he was only starting to build up on rings so wouldn't be too surprised if half of it was to raise money." The tenrec would deal with him later, though took noticed to a shuttle suddenly flying right up too it.

"What the fuck? Did he have ANOTHER spy? You know what, I don't care right now. We'll deal with that later." Surge began walking into the sewer. "It's a fucking sewer Sonic. The water ain't that deep, well, not until you get to where it all drains. Besides, some dirty shoes is a small price to pay to get the jump on Mimic." The tenrec then stopped, holding out her hand to stop Sonic as well. "There's tech on the walls, I can sense the electricity in it." The speedster flicked some lightning out, watching it bounce to anything tech and fry it. Small lines of smoke filling the tunnel. "Not sure if there's more. Guess we'll have to take it slow, ugh."

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"No need for that. Let's say Mimic might regret choosing the sewer to hide in." Kitsunami did make mist, though would have it freeze around all the various traps and tripwires thus breaking them. "I don't have an eye sharp enough to spot them so just tell me when we're coming up on some traps." The fennec had been training hard to better use he's powers, and his knowledge help to find the easiest path to break all the traps.

"Though I'm worried Mimic might have a remote detonator. I'm sure if he hears up getting closer he'll just cave everything in and try take us with him." Kitsunami wasn't as good as Mimic on stealth so doubt he could sneak up on him again. Even then he still failed to get Tangle and avoid all of this.

==========================================================

Tangle grunts feeling the back of the knife jam into her side. "My Uncle is going to kick your butt when he get's his hands on you." The lemur was glad she could at least talk, though wasn't sure how much longer that would last as she continued to felt her body stiffen up. Though her attention when to seeing Whisper, though she frowns seeing the state she's in.

"Really? That's why you're doing this? She didn't even do anything to you, you did everything to her! I'm going to tail punch you in the face so hard when this is over!" Tangle wished she could move her body right now, mainly because she was sure Whisper wasn't here just to rough Mimic up and take him to jail.

Rowan was turning just to try and come up with a plan when the cat pulled his arms and told him Mimic's plan to flood everything. "Okay, first, try to buy you some more time." The lemur pulled out a shot. "Won't wake you up, though will give your body a boost to last a few more hours before I can get you help." He gave the stranger the shot before turning back.

Rowan saw Mimic walking back towards something that was casting a small shadow. Good thing it didn't matter the size as the shadow Wisp could still open a portal even with the smallest of shadows. He walked over as the Wisp appeared, still looking like a laser Wisp. "You gonna drop the disguise anytime soon?" The lemur got his answer by the Wisp nervously shaking it's head no before opening a small portal.

Rowan stuck his hand through and grabbed the bag, pulling it in as the shadow closed once more. "What was he going after?" The lemur opened and began digging around hoping to find a remote trigger to whatever trap Mimic had. It'll give him a chance to rewire it and use it to stop the trap.

He knew she'd never know what it meat to be him, and he doubted he could grasp what she'd lived through. They could argue back and forth, and probably never come to an agreement. But he did promise himself a long time ago to make sure Surge and Kit got a fair shake at life. So far it seemed they were heading in the right direction, they just needed some more time and support.

He wished she'd stop beating herself up about it, she had a shot to make it better. The last thing she wanted was to see her in a cell next to Mimic.

" ... Fine, what ever--- Look you'll get to take him home yourself. We are gonna mop the floor with Mimic, find the guy behind all this and introduce him to spin dash R us... now... "

He paused looking up in the sky to the big Clean Sweep ship and back down to HQ as they had paused for a moment to argue.

" Ya know i still don't get it... Why the grand prix, why all the bells and whistles... and mimic? why get him involved--- and why you and Kit... mmm questions for later! Sewers it is, ugg why is it always sewers with these people? if its not chemical plant zone for eggy its a water way... or the freaking sewers... "

He still didn't like water! even if he could walk through it, the fact he sunk like a rock rather then floated made him leery of all water. He guessed Surge likely sank to but for other reasons. He took a deep breath and motioned for Surge to lead the way!

" Ladies first... and its your plan So if anyone gets to slip on a steaming pile of... well you get that honor! "

================================================

Lanolin didn't like the idea of the kid getting hurt over her. But he was right about him being alot tougher then she was. Plus they would be surrounded by water right? that should mean that he had a clear advantage down here. She had no idea what kind of traps Mimic had planned for them but he wouldn't have fled this way if he didn't have a plan. She took a deep breath and nodded her head to Kit agreeing with him as she gripped her Wispeon and followed after him down the hole.

Once they were in the tunnel She tapped the bell on her neck making a soft ringing sound. The vibration echoed down the hall, as dozens of trip wires and red lasers became visible to her via her sonickinesis enhanced by maggie's own power. Many traps, explosives and trip wires covered the halls ahead leading down into the depths of the sewers, Enough to seal the tunnel. Lanolin's eyes narrowed and she gripped Kit's shoulder.

" Careful, looks like he's covered the whole hall in traps--- do you think you could make a mist from the water here? we could see the lasers that way i think...it'll take us forever to get through all of this... he must have set this up awhile ago... "

================================================

His instincts screamed at the last second but he wasn't near fast enough to react to Rowan's attack. his head jerking to the side as he was sent skidding along the ground. He Jerked his head up to see Rowan grabbing the boy, though he had zero use for him now and hardly cared about him. His real concern was how to avoid that a second time. He rolled back across the ground and grabbed Tangle's hair, and drug her by it along the ground! True to his word she could still feel the pain of her hair being tugged! as Her curled his arm around her neck and locked the read naked choke in place. He stuck his back to a wall and placed his knife just against her rib cage!

That was her so called uncle right? He had some ability to jump through portals? Wait he remembered a Wisp that didn't like the light right? He jammed the handle of his knife into Tangle's ribs just out of frustration and maybe a sick desire to hurt her! before making his way across the room using her as a shield, Yet he stopped cold as the blue eye gleamed from the hallway and he stopped in his tracks!

" How... Is no way you got past all my traps--- and made it here before the others... impossible..."

Whisper stepped into the light, her fur was singed on the tips and her cape still smoking. She'd used Violet several times to get this far and was in more then her fair share of pain. But she managed to bypass all of Mimic's devious tricks, and using a schematic of the base found the one place she knew he'd use as a fallback point. It was the same room she'd have used.

But the whole process to get here had left her in alot of pain, with Violet looking down at her worried.

" Let---her ---go "

Her mask spoke for her since she couldn't, the robotic tone using simple words to demand Tangle's release. But Now Mimic had two major threats to deal with. Whisper, and Rowan together were obvious major threat but then---she looked like she got fried by something? The wisp probably...

" Careful Whisper... don't want to lose another love do we? why did you admit it to her anyway? You set yourself up for this... now i have the ultimate tool against you... all i have to do is kill her and you'd never forgive yourself. Honestly... its so tempted even if you shot me dead..."

He took another step toward his duffle bag

" still coming here all alone? such a foolish move... and look at you... look her tangle! she can barely stand! she might have found a fast way here... but in doing so she's cooked herself... this is a joke... but hey i'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth..."

===============================================

The young Feline grunted as he was drug into the shadows and landed someplace else. He wasn't sure what just happened and he was so weak from lack of food and the torture he didn't even fight Rowan. He couldn't really and yet before Rowan could run back into the shadows he grabbed Rownan's arm and looked up at him with this weak pathetic look, yet there was a deep determination in his eyes.

" Its a trap... "

He coughed out with a wheezing tone

" That whole room... he rigged it to flood... the whole lower level is gonna flood... its on a timer... "

His hands dropped from Rowan as he fell back against the wall having no strength left to talk or even lift his head. He wondered ot himself if this was it, if he'd just fall asleep for good this time. Maybe he could save them still... maybe this all wouldn't be for nothing.

Could his death save someone else? he didn't know... but he had to warn them...

Then he felt himself lose consciousness, he couldn't stay away he couldn't fight it anymore.

Dead? no... but he needed medical treatment or he might not make it either.

[yve-kae-nightfever]

How very naughty of you.

(Lucifer x Kaeri)

Based on Lucifer's home guest line - Still up, are you? How very naughty of you.

Summary: Kaeri, after realizing she can't sleep, decides to stay up all night. However, in her bed all alone she soon gets bored, but no worries! Lucifer for sure has the solution for a "naughty" girl like her

A/N: LOL i didn't even know lucifer could say this when you log in on obey me in the middle of the night so the idea istantly welcomed itself into my head

tw: kaeri's bad mood crusing a bit

Enjoy!

Turn.

"It's just 2:00 in the morning. Fuck"

Turn.

Tick.Tock.

"Someone could be still awake"

Tick. Tock.

Turn. Turn again.

Kaeri was doing everything to get to sleep. She even thought about something so boring for her, like homeworks in the human world, but nothing.

A smirk formed on her lips. "Well, it means I'll have a sleepless night" she whispered as she crossed her arms behind her head, staring at the ceiling as if it was nothing to be worried about.

But what to do? Her D.D.D was charging and she didn't want to watch a video, scroll on Devilgram or play games.

She let a few minutes pass, when she got hungry. She got up without making the slightest noise and went into the kitchen, leaving her room.

It was impossible that someone could be still awake.

She walked slowly down the stairs, passing the corridors.

She passed the study, which door was inexplicably ajar, even though it didn't seem like anyone was in there.

It was extremely dark in the House of Lamentation. Kaeri was still a little scared.

She was just about to go down the stairs that led to the kitchen, when two hands gently grabbed her hips.

"AHH- MMHP!" one of the two hands covered her mouth.

"Don't scream. It's just me, Lucifer"

The demon's deep voice slowed Kaeri's heartbeat, still fearful of being grabbed out of nowhere in the darkness.

At this point, she didn't know whether to be happy that it was just Lucifer, or to be afraid that it was just Lucifer.

"Well, well. Still up, are you? How very naughty of you"

The darkness of the room hid the blush on Kaeri's cheeks, remembering that it was now 2:30 in the morning.

"Let me take you up to your room" he picked her up in a bridal style as he took her back to her bedroom.

As he laid her back on the bed, Kaeri took the fabric of Lucifer's jacket between her fingers. "Lucifer, I'm not sleepy. Could you stay with me for a bit?"

"Mh? Oh, so you're not sleepy you say? Well your face certainly doesn't look like someone who' sleepy, but I'm afraid to say your dark circles are evident now"

Oh. Right. The dark circles. Kaeri suddenly remembered how Asmo, when he saw then, almost cried as he said something like "they'll never go away from your beautiful face!".

"I know...but I really can't sleep. Like, I feel full of energy right now, I could run all over the Devildom twice"

Lucifer chuckled. She was talking nonsense, her brain was probably already sleeping. "Now, I think it's a bit too much for you. But if you want, I can help you get tired so you can sleep"

Kaeri smiled softly. "Really? You would?"

"Of course. Now for it to be done good, put your arms above your head, and focus on not lowering them"

"Mhm"

"Good, now close you eyes, and keep focusing"

Kaeri did so. Lucifer knew it was too easy, it was obvious she was tired, her brain was off. She would obey any request without even understanding the sentence.

"Hey! Ahahah- Luhucifer!" Kaeri lowered her arms by reflex.

"Uh-uh, I said focus, you're getting distracted" Lucifer said as he dragged his fingers up and down her sides, occasionally scratching at her ribs.

"Luhuhucifer! Thahahat tihihickles!" she giggled, kicking her legs as she was told not to lower her arms.

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed it"

"Yohohou- NAHAHA!"

Lucifer switched from drag and scratch to dig and squeeze (on the same spot above all), sending Kaeri into hysterical laugher.

"Me? Did you want to tell me something?" Lucifer accentuated his question by digging his fingers into the curves of Kaeri 'sides.

"GAHAHAHA- WAHAHAIT! NOHOHO!"

The demon frowned. "No what?"

"FIHIHIHIRST STOHOHOP!"

"Mhh, but you don't seem to be tired...what if I decide to keep going until I tire you out?"

"EHEHE- PLEHEHEASE!"

Lucifer no longer cared that Kaeri was using her arms to try to protect herself, he had other spots to aim for.

"WAHAHAIT- NOHOHOT THEHEHERE!" Kaeri cackled as he began to squeeze her thighs.

"You seem to be pretty sensitive here, let's try below too?"

Lucifer squeezed the lower part of Kaeri's thigh, earning a shriek followed by silent laughters.

Lucifer stopped, slightly worried that he had passed her limit.

"L-luhucifer..." she spat out between her giggles "Yohohou were right...I'm sohoho tired"

Lucifer chuckled, seeing the girl fighting to keep her eyes open. He smiled softly, patting her head. He seemed to see the same scene happening many other times with his brothers for the same reason.

"Good night, Kaeri"

[auncyen]

About halfway to the train station, Maruki's kindly offered ride turns smothering.

Ren isn't afraid of his one-time counselor, one-time adversary. He's seen the inside of Maruki's heart, knows he was well-intentioned even before the change of heart, which should have had the effect of making him see his trauma was warping those intentions. Maruki isn't going to hurt anyone.

But Ren also knows Maruki's power was strange. He once expressed sadness over what had happened to Akechi in Shido's Palace...something he shouldn't have known about, unless he'd been able to glimpse into Ren's own heart as well.

And there's a heaviness to the glances Maruki is giving him that makes Ren turn his head away. Morgana is watching the buildings of Tokyo pass outside the window, and with one hand on Morgana's back, Ren looks with him, wanting to memorize the sights before they leave. But he's distracted, wondering what Maruki is thinking.

"So," Maruki says, breaking the silence. "Like I said, I think I'll be a better taxi driver than a counselor," as he'd explained earlier, when Morgana had expressed astonishment at him taking up such a vastly different profession. "But there are good counselors out there. I... took an unusual career path. Most counselors have had more practical training. Enough for them to realize if they're the type to have trouble staying objective or project their own trauma on others," he says wryly. "I was probably one of the worst counselors out there. It's a surprise Shujin hired me."

"They were desperate to do damage control," Ren answers. He doesn't know if Maruki had had anyone competing with him for the position, but even if there had been someone else, he doesn't trust Kobayakawa to have had the wisdom to make an informed choice in which counselor to hire. He could have picked at random. Or hired whoever looked most like a pushover. Maruki's determination is extraordinary, but it didn't show in his mannerisms most of the time.

"That's true," Maruki replies, braking for a traffic light. "Still... I hope I haven't soured the idea of counseling or therapy for you forever. I think you could find it beneficial."

Ren can feel Morgana craning his head to look up at him. That traffic light needs to turn green already. "You're probably right. Almost everyone can get something out of it, right?" He tries to sound earnest. It's not like Maruki soured him on therapy--he'd never wanted to open up to Maruki either, being much happier when the man explained psychological concepts and mind-strengthening exercises than the times when he tried to probe into his well-being.

"Amamiya-kun." Maruki's tone is too serious. "I'm worried for you. When I took control of reality, I--I wanted to make you happy, because I earnestly believe you deserve happiness. I wanted to fulfill all your wishes. But one of those wishes--is--"

"Hey!" Morgana shouts, and Ren jerks his hand away from his friend, worried he might have squeezed too tightly with how on edge he is. But Morgana isn't glaring at him, instead turning away to shout at Maruki. "Shut up! You shouldn't talk about his wishes. Those are private."

"I know--but Morgana-kun, I can't change that I already know them--"

"I don't know them," Morgana says. "I mean, I know some of them, of course, because he's my best friend. But you can't assume I know all of them." He turns around on Ren's lap. "Ren? Is it okay for him to talk about to talk about your wishes?"

He doesn't want to say 'no'. It feels like an admission that there's something to hide. It feels like admonishing Maruki even though Ren understands why he's doing this--this is the last chance they'll have to talk face-to-face.

But there's no way in hell he wants Maruki to talk about that wish. "No."

"Then that's that," Morgana says, and turns back to Maruki. "Shut up or I'm tearing this backseat apart."

Maruki's wince is just visible in the rearview mirror. "I'm sorry."

"You should be."

The rest of the taxi ride is quiet, Morgana glaring at the back of the driver's seat while Ren idly pets his back to calm him down. He's...a little surprised how defensive Morgana got. His friend's always given him space to deal with other confidants, but he's never exactly stifled his curiosity either. Ren must have betrayed his own upset. Morgana's probably worried about him.

It would have been even worse if Maruki had talked about the wish. The wish that appalled Maruki so much... Ren's pretty sure he knows what it was, and it's shameful that it was strong enough for Maruki to learn about it on Christmas Eve.

It's just...since December, sometimes it's seemed nice to think about...if he could just go to sleep, and not have to wake up. It's a stupid thought. He has plenty of things in his life that are worth waking up for. It's just a thought in the back of his head sometimes. He's not going to actually do anything with it, so he's fine--and he doesn't even know how he'd explain half of the last year to a counselor or therapist, so how much could they help him even if he needed it? No. He'll be fine, especially since Morgana decided to go out to the countryside with him.

He really doesn't know how he'd manage if he was going back alone.

-

because Maruki wants to make Ren happy in every route of Royal but the "sleep forever" one is horrifying but like. if that's really a wish Ren has. and if most routes Maruki is like "hahaha we're going to bury that one so you forget it by making all the nicer wishes come true" and in the deadline route he's like "well. making you sleep forever is nicer than making you agonize, especially if it gets to the point where you decide to make yourself sleep forever" and just.

Imagine in the canon route Maruki's coming to terms with his own trauma and actions and then he remembers oh god, Ren had that wish even before being sent to prison, he is concerned for the kid. I also played with a scenario of him popping into Leblanc to warn Sojiro which might have been better? but I don't know if it'd mesh very well into canon having Maruki pull the disappearing act until he shows up behind the wheel of a taxi cab.

[colourful-void]

Supporting Satoshi - an examination and comparison of JN36 and XY121

Part Two: Dragging your friends into sandstorms is also not a recommended way to treat depression but at least this one worked

So back to journeys, where Satoshi has just lost three battles in a row and a sandstorm is luring people in over in Hoenn.

Goh is immediately excited about the prospect of a pokemon hiding in the sand and goes to ask Satoshi about coming along. It's a fun note of Goh's character devlopment that his immediate wish is to go together. Goh at the start of the season would easily have abandoned Satoshi to go research on his own, but it doesn't even cross his mind for a second in this episode. Great work Goh!

Satoshi's not doing too hot. He's curled up in a corner talking to himself about how he's dropped a whole class. Goh tells him to cheer up, it was only a few battles, this does not work. Another similarity to the xy episode.

We can see more of the root of the problem here, that Satoshi fears he won't be able to live up to his dreams and that trying is fruitless. Now I know we're on the jp dub but I really wanna shout out the english, because in the english dub satoshi says "Battling (Dande)'s a dream I should get out of my head, I don't deserve it."

"I don't deserve it", like I don't think there's a clearer way to represent the issue here than this line. He doesn't "deserve" to battle Dande, he doesn't even deserve to dream about it.

Goh dismisses these ideas and drags Satoshi out to Hoenn to go find the pokemon in the sandstorm.

They get to the sandstorm, Goh's excited, Satoshi's still upset. Back to the tried and true method of "just don't be sad"! Which of course, does not work.

We can already see the similarites to Serena in Goh's actions. Both try their hardest with genuine intent to cheer up Satoshi using methods that work for them. (You can argue Serena was trying a bit harder here since Goh had alternate motives at play). However, what changes here is what they do afterwords.

The problem of dismissing someone's negitivity as not like them remains and I'm still salty about it, but at least in this senario Goh is affirming Satoshi's postivity and not getting upset with him while he's actively upset. It's marginally better but the problem remains.

But that's not why I love this episode. What matters to me is what comes next.

Despite the distraction, Satoshi's still caught up in his eariler problems. He hasn't actually resolved them, so he can't let them go yet.

The boys make their way through the sandstorm, Goh rescues some people from the sandtrap, its going alright. At least until we run into flygon. Or more specfically, until Goh asks Satoshi for his help battling Flygon.

This is Satoshi's expression when Goh asks him for help. Despite agreeing, he's clearly hesitant about this. He doesn't feel confident in his ability to battle the Flygon. He's so out of it he forgets the type match ups, and uses electric moves on a ground type, which of course are ineffective.

Satoshi continues to self loathe, berating himself for not thinking. His hat begins shading his eyes when this happens! He gets caught up in his mistakes and begins to feel as though everything is hopeless.

Now, Goh doesn't do any of the 'no don't say that, you have to believe in yourself' stuff here. Instead, he keeps battling. He instead redirects the focus back to the fight, which is sort of the more pressing issue. It's also a good way of dealing with the problem as well! Goh's actively strategizing, looking for the next step to take. By doing that he's telling ash, indirectly, not to give up yet because there are still concrete steps to take, and that things aren't hopeless!

Satoshi is still paying attention to the battle though, and picks up on Goh's strategy. Goh and Satoshi also share a glance with each other when Flygon disappears under the sand.

Messon gets beaten and recalled.

and Satoshi begins to spiral. He gets so caught up in his previous losses that he visibly flashes back to them. He panics over what's dangerous for the pokemon, and the footage flashing specifically shows Riolu's losses and it being in pain after being attacked.

Both Pikachu and Goh call out to Satoshi in concern after he falls over and doesn't get up. Satoshi's body langauge is imporant here but unfortunately image limit. He's not clentched up, his fingers are loose. even when he grits his teeth, the rest of his body language all together reads as though he's gone slack. Unfortunately, Goh's attention is pulled away by the Flygon attacking again, and the battle resumes with Rabbifoot.

Satoshi protests Goh's strategy, still afraid that battling in too close is dangerous. Goh turns to him for a moment, but has to keep his attention on Rabbifoot. This actually pulls him out of dazed body langauge, as he tense and clenches his fists when Goh starts to put himself in danger. He's concerned for Goh and Rabbifoot!

Satoshi wonders what Goh's thinking, and he's not even looking at the battle anymore. He's just staring at Goh intently.

Or at least, until Rabbifoot successfully executes the strategy, and uses the meteors as part of ember. It's a wonderfully animated sequence, and it works! Goh's proud and excited, all the pokemon jump around happily, and Satoshi just sits there dumbfounded, though visably relieved as well (eyebrows are no longer drawn together) before he begins to laugh.

But Goh's not done helping out Satoshi, and this is what sets this and the xy episode apart, this is where everything comes together.

Goh does what he does best, a big dramatic monolouge. He tells Satoshi that he learned all those tactics from Satoshi, it's the first thing he tells him before he even explains.

Goh tells Satoshi plainly that he does know how to do this, he's a good battler and he can succeed when he remembers to work with his pokemon in tandem and doesn't get caught up in things. And he tells him this right after he proves it to Satoshi's face.

Satoshi learns from examples, from doing, and Goh uses that as best he can. He gives Satoshi the example first, and then explains it later.

And the visual symbolism is incredible here because as Goh tells this to Satoshi the sky clears behind him.

I cry over this part everytime. What better way to show that Goh has helped free Satoshi from the mental fog, that his words have cleared the way for him.

And of course, Goh keeps a smile on his face the entire time.

He continues to talk about working together with his pokemon, something Satoshi was neglecting to do because of his fear of not being good enough and letting those pokemon down.

Satoshi reflects on this, adjusting his hat so it hides his eyes as he does. However, he's in control of this now, actively holding the hat in his hand, symbolizing that while he's still upset, he's in control of his emotions now!

Goh specifically kneels down to meet Satoshi at his level and speak to him directly, he puts them on equal ground.

He talks more about strategy, and then he says a line I adore.

"Battling sure is complex, isn't it, Satoshi?"

Goh doesn't like battling, we know this. We know his only interest in it is as a means to an end and because he cares about Satoshi. And he says this because he's showing Satoshi how much he's learned from him. To really drive home that he attributes everything he just accomplished to Satoshi. All that trust and skill and work! Not to mention the fact that this is a call back to what Goh said after Satoshi won the Flutes in episode seven! Incredible, truly!

And Satoshi laughs and flops over, to which Goh worries. But Satoshi is smiling again, truly smiling. He calls himself stupid, the self loathing hasn't gone away entirely, but he is smiling, and he's staring up into the sky happily. There is no shade over his eyes anymore!

He finally addresses his pokemon again, with words similar to what he said in xy, and of course his pokemon love him and lay down with him. It's really cute <3.

And thats where the episode ends! My goodness, do I adore this episode. It's beautiful and i think about it all the time.

It's about finding new and crazy strategies to win, and when talking things out or distracting him doesn't work, Goh tries a new strategy that does! If he can't use ember and win with one strategy he'll try another. can't cheer up Satoshi with one strategy? try another.

What sets them apart is that Goh keeps going and stays by Satoshi's side, where as Serena got caught up in her feelings and ran off. Goh visbly takes Satoshi's way of learning and expressing things into account, and Serena doesn't make it that far.

There's so much care and effort that Satoshi and Goh share and it means the world to me. I can't wait to see what other moments they'll share in future, and what other parallels will be drawn!

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings, Thank you so much for reading this all.

[smidnite]

I really need to stop falling asleep before I post 😅

@winterspiderpurrs @illogicalkat here ya go!

------

Inside Stark Tower, Bucky and Steve were sitting in a corner booth in a bagel shop, nervously picking at their meal while giving Peter and Harley time to formally meet with Tony. Sarah had offered to take May for the day so they'd have one less thing to worry about, but truthfully? Steve would have loved the distraction of his baby girl.

"You think they're doing alright? I know they're both nervous, but...ugh, damn. I'M nervous, " Steve admitted.

Putting his sandwich down, Bucky finished chewing and took a swig of his drink before replying. "I think they'll be ok. I know Peter's anxious because he's meeting his ex, but I guess that it's better this time because he isn't being blindsided by it.

"But Harley... I know Harley is conflicted." He reached over to fiddle with a bottle cap, looking around before speaking. "On one hand, this is Tony Stark, the guy he's been idolizing ever since he could hold a wrench."

"He idolizes you too, ya know."

"I don't count, I'm a parent, not a celebrity."

Steve snorted, nodded his head in acknowledgement, motioning his hand for Bucky to continue.

"On the other hand, and Harls and I talked about this, Tony is also the bastard that abandoned his mama. Left him behind and never checked in on him, guilty feelings or not. He had all this time to check on Peter, and didn't. Never learned that he had a son. And I honestly think that's the sticking point. He's feeling abandoned by a man he's never met."

"Probably doesn't help that he had a mild crush on him," Steve mumbled, curling his lip in distaste.

"Ahhgh, GOD, don't remind me! At least that's well and done. Sheesh."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, watching the crowd of people waiting in line. Black Seed Bagels was on the pricey side, but thankfully they hadn't had to pay. The security guard that had escorted them in had also handed them a company card, courtesy of Stark himself. A gift card would've done the same thing, but I guess it was easier, not knowing where they were going to eat.

And regardless of Stark being rich as sin, they weren't about to racking up charges on the card.

"I'll make the concession in that I do think he deserves a bit of grace. He went from rehab, to the car wreck, back to rehab and on the way to recovering, only to be kidnapped and missing for three months, which hey-- complete and painful cold turkey detox right there, and then after THAT, he lost that guy, whazzizname? Stane. Old family member.

"His priorities were reprioritized, MULTIPLE times, within what-- a year? A year and a half? I'm honestly surprised he hasn't backslid and fallen off the wagon, but I guess Potts had been keeping a tight leash on him."

Steve's face darkened. "'Course now we're seeing why that is."

Bucky ran his flesh hand down his face while tapping his metal one on the table in agitation. Harley had come home from school the day before practically thrumming in his anxiety. Social media being what it was, multiple clips of CEO Virginia Potts being unable to access the SI elevator bank and then being dragged out in a fit of fury by security had emerged. If this had happened a week prior it would've been a wild bit of gossip between himself and Harley while they worked in the shop.

It's very different when you know you're the cause of the corporate shake up.

"I hate the fact that I KNOW this is going to get so much more complicated before it smooths over. If Tony were a regular Joe Schmoe it'd be a helluva lot easier."

"Though, if ya think about it, it's only fair," Steve said with a teasing grin."

Confused, Bucky frowned. "Huh? How d'ya figure that?"

Steve's half-grin bloomed into a full-blown smile of adoration. "We have an incredible pup who was carried by an incredible omega. Stands to reason that the person our omega had falled for back then had been an incredible person, too."

He placed his hand on top of Bucky's metal hand where it rested on the table. "And, well, I'd like to think that we're not too shabby, ourselves."

"You're a damn punk, Rogers," Bucky said, laughing softly.

"You love it, ya jerk. Whaddya say we head on up? It's been about an hour."

"Yeah, let's do this."

--------

So Black Seed Bagels is a real place! There's one located in the MetLife building in Manhattan, which is where Stark Tower is in the MCU. When Tony had first come from California to NY to set up shop, he purchased the MetLife building and built it up to what we came to know as "That big, ugly tower in New York." Thanks, Steve 😂

And sorry I'm late with this. I did a bunch of yardwork in the heat and my body was NOT thrilled with me. Fell asleep much earlier than anticipated.

And AY, YO! VERNORS REFERENCE! MICHIGAN REPRESENT!!!

Since this is getting long(again) and we gonna keep adding to it. Just to save everyone from scrolling.

Link below has the LAST update as of 9.24.24 7pm EST. And it also include the previous(original start of the chain) link.

@illogicalkat and @smidnite this has the latest post that I did on it once you click into it. So feel free to reblog and add the newest addition below here. :) This is so much fun! Ya'll are the BEST.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[madaboutmunson]

Obsession (Part 4 of 11 of Let Me Call You Sweetheart)

Warnings for the entire story not just this chapter: Darkfic, out of character Eddie Munson, alternative universe, present day, Death, abuse (emotional, mental and physical, harassment, violence, torture, imprisonment, coersion, unrequited love, drugs, alcohol, illness, blood, gore, food disorder, mental illness, vampirism, hypnotism, weirdness, the upside down, bats, monsters

@munchabunch

You stumble back through the impossible amount of curtains and arrive back in the central area.

You look at your phone. 28 missed calls.

Fuck, how long had you been gone? You look at the time. It had only been about 20 minutes. You open up the call log, and the missed calls are from the band, probably wondering where you had gone to.

You catch sight of the palm of your hand. It had completely healed. You checked the front and back of both hands, and the cut definitely wasn't there. Weird, maybe it had just looked much deeper than it actually was.

You take your pick out of your back pocket, it had been a vibrant neon green, but now the tip had turned black and looked like it was blending into the rest of the plectrum. Or had it always been that way, and you hadn't noticed? You had tons of the things, after all.

The only thing you knew right now was that your brain was a complete mess.

You put the pick back in your pocket and call Jenna back.

"Hey, it's me. Sorry, I got distracted by a guitar display. Sorry again, guys. Where are you?"

"Oh, thank god!" Jenna says, "It's Y/N. Terry said he saw you disappear with some guy, and then we couldn't find you, so we're worried."

"Oh yeah, that guy was next to me in the simulator. He worked on it with them or something, I think. I got to see the real guitar and even got to play it, and it felt..." You stop yourself. They'll think you were insane.

"Wow! That is amazing!! We're over by the arcade scene if you wanna join us?"

"Yep, I'll be right over," you say, ending the call and heading to them.

You weave through the crowds until you reach them.

"Let's see your pics then," you say, beaming at them.

Harley grabs her phone and starts scrolling through for you, "These are so great!!" You exclaim, "Are you getting any more done?"

Jenna goes to speak, but Terry interrupts, "No, I think I'm done with this place, honestly", he grumbles.

"Everything alright?" You say, furrowing your brow. This mood was uncharacteristically Terry. Maybe he'd just burnt himself out.

"Yeah, just this outfit was a bad choice, is all." He says as another gang of younger teens scream at him and ask him for a picture. He really did look like the character.

"He's very popular tonight", Jenna whispers to you behind her hand, giggling.

You feel a hand slap on your shoulder, "You've been invited to the VIP area", the security guard advises.

All your eyes go wide with delight, "This way", he booms.

You grab Terry's hand and pull him from his unwanted, adoring fans. "Sorry everyone, I've gotta steal him away for important VIP business". Terry's frown turns into the radiant smile you know and love as the tiny group glare daggers at you.

You weave around the mini sets until you come to a roped-off area and are let through. You keep close to one another and try to find some seats.

Waving excitedly from the corner is Mr Harrington. You run over, "Well?" He says, "How was it?"

You all start talking over one another, explaining how awesome the ride was and the walk-through event.

"I met a member of the cast too! I got to play the guitar! Had to help them with the headset though first," You say excitedly.

"Which guitar?" A voice comes from beside you. It's Dustin freakin' Henderson again. Could this night get any better??

"Er, it looked like the one in the model and the ride, but it was playable", you try to explain.

He raises his eyebrows, "Oh, they brought that along, did they?" He shrugs, "I should really know where my belongings are" he laughs and makes a note on his phone.

Before you can apologise, Mr Harrington nudges him, "Come on, man, it's a party. Hey, remember this from back in the day?" and starts doing a little retro dance.

You all smile and attempt to copy his moves.

Before you know it, it's time to head home.

"Hey, random question does anyone have any oil to stop the hinges of doors squeaking?"

Everyone looks at you with blank expressions, apart from Dustin, "Oh yeah, for sure!" He calls you over to the table at the back of the room, rifles through his backpack and gives you a tiny little oil can.

"That's gonna save my skin later, thanks," you say gratefully.

"Say, you said earlier a cast member showed you the guitar, and you played it?" Dustin asks

You nod in reply.

"Are you sure about that?" he says, scanning your face.

"We walked behind the guitarist model set, and it was all just there."

"Who was it again?" He asks curiously.

"Some guy called Eddie," you say.

Dustin's face drops, "Are you sure that was their name?"

You get a sudden feeling of being unsure, "You know, maybe I misheard. Could have been Freddie or Teddy or something?"

He relaxes a little, "You know, sometimes we embellish the truth to impress people when we don't have to, sometimes it's enough to be ourselves" he smiles at you, "You're alright, kid, you don't need to try so hard." he says patting you on the back.

You nod, a little confused, "Thanks for the help and for letting us be part of all this. It's a dream come true."

"I couldn't help myself. Especially after Steve told me about how much you all loved the games. Your outfits are killer, by the way."

"Group picture?" You chance.

He smiles, "Why the hell not. STEVE!!!!! GET YOUR SWEET FACE READY", he yells as you walk back over to the group.

You get security to take a few snaps and send them to the group and Mr Harrington before making your goodbyes and head home.

A few spritzes of oil let you enter the house undetected. You get changed and head to the closet picking up your Stratocaster replica. You reach for the pick from your outfit's back pocket and close the door.

You try to play a few notes, but it sounds dull and lifeless. You practice a few scales until a string breaks, and you give up, "Sorry, my angel," you say, putting it back on its stand and heading for bed.

That night your dreams consist of playing that guitar only. Your dreams have you play it alone, with Eddie just like earlier, at a local dive, at a gig, at a stadium.

You wake up in the morning in a sweat, rush into the bathroom, and check your reflection. You look sick like you haven't slept a wink.

You throw yourself in the shower and get ready for the day.

"Morning", you mumble at your parents as they sit silently at the kitchen table.

"Not joining us?" Your mother chirps in her best Mary Poppins tone.

You freeze. This was one of those no-right answer situations, so you sit at the table and smile at them.

"Good night last night, was it?" You Father grumbles from behind the Paper

"Yeah, it was so amazing. We got to meet one of the creators. It's one of Mr Harrington's friends," you say enthusiastically.

"Mr Harrington, what a fantastic guy. It was so kind to take you on, what with your lack of experience and all," your Mom swoons.

"Yes, well, some of us had to make our own way in the world. Not everyone had Mommy and Daddy's infinite pot of money to fall back on after every failure." Your Father scowls

You look between them. You know it's time to leave before this blows up, but you had to ask, "Talking of money, I was wondering if I could borrow some. I promise to pay you back all my pay from the record store and do double chores when I'm not working. There is just something I really need, and I don't know how long it will be around."

You Father scoffs, "How much are we talking here?"

"$600", you answer quietly.

Your Mom almost chokes on her coffee.

Your Dad laughs out loud, his hand slapping the table as he did, "What is this for? A car? You know you aren't responsible enough to drive, no matter what your license says"

"A guitar", you answer regretfully.

"You've already got one squirrelled away in your room. So why do you need another one?" Your Mom says, looking at you like you said the most disgusting thing in the world.

"I just thought I'd ask," you say humbly, "I can try to save up for it before it gets sold. Maybe Mr Harrington can give me an advance."

Your Mom slams her hands on the table, "You'll do no such thing. What do you think he'll think of us if you ask him that? You make us out to be complete monsters. All we are trying to do is keep your feet on the ground. Musician is not a reliable career choice. It is a waste of time."

You feel the hand on your bouncing knee clench into a fist, but above the table, you remain the picture of serenity, "I suppose that is true. I should keep focusing on what I'm good at."

"You suppose?" Your Dad narrows his eyes at you. "do you suppose this house just pays for itself? Do you suppose we didn't have our own unrealistic dreams in our youth? Do you suppose we gave them up because we wanted to? Or do you suppose it was because your Grandma insisted your mother keep you?" With every question, he gets further out of his chair and closer to you.

"No, sir. My mistake. You are both correct," you say without tone, "Thank you for breakfast. I better go open up the store." You reel off your script and leave the table, their brewing argument and the house behind you.

You weren't even on the afternoon shift today, you had the late one, but Harrington's was an all-day sanctuary.

On approach to the store, you cross over to the second-hand store and peep through the gap in the shutters. She was still there. You breathe a sigh of relief and head across the road.

"Whoa, Y/N, you look like shit!" You hear Harley exclaim.

"And a good morning to you too, H" you laugh and rub your face with your hands.

"Aren't you on the late tonight?" Harley asks

"Ah yeah, but the house was a bit spicy this morning, so I decided to come home", you smile, trying to fix your hair in the mirror.

"Is Mr Harrington in yet?" You ask Harley

"Yeah, he's been on the phone all morning. Something about the pictures from the carnival in the paper," she says, shrugging.

"Ah, did a picture of us make it in there by any chance? Might explain my lovely parental chat this morning."

Harley nods.

You put your hands on your hips and shake your head, saying, "You just can't go anywhere these days", before heading to Mr Harrington's Office.

You knock gently on the door, "Come in!" He shouts.

Most offices have a large desk with a family portrait on it. Mr Harrington's office was a portrait gallery for his kids and loved ones, with a small desk in the middle.

"Oh, hey!" He says, looking up from his computer, "Can you help me with something?"

"I mean, I can try", you offer.

"So I'm trying to zoom in on this picture from the paper, but it just zooms in once and then zooms back out. I need MORE ZOOM," he says frantically, wiggling the mouse around, sighs and looks up at you with pleading eyes, "Make more zoom, please."

"Did you download it?" You ask

"Download....what exactly?" He says, looking confused.

"Maybe I could just take a look for you."

He hands you the mouse and turns the monitor so you can both see it.

You download the image and open it up in a photo editing programme, "There you go, now you can zoom in and out to your heart's content", you smile at him.

"Well, you know, seeing as you are there, could you, just...you know..."

"Yeah...of course...what are we zooming in on?"

"Henderson's shoulder, no...not that one...the other one," he says urgently.

He puts his hand over his mouth and looks at you. "Can you print that out?"

"Sure...you want just this area?" You point at the screen.

"Yep, just that, please," he says kindly, looking you over quickly, "Hey, are you feeling ok?"

"Erm...yeah...just a bad night's sleep, is all" you smile back at him.

The printer whirrs into life and begins its steady chug.

He leans forward on his desk with his hands clasped together, "So how can I help you? Wait, are you even due in now?"

"No, sir, this is kind of what I wanted to talk about. Are there any more shifts I can pick up? I could really use...I mean, I'd really like some extra cash...I mean, my parents offered to just give it to me, but there is a certain extra satisfaction to earning it yourself, right?" you smile at him.

"Ok, so you've worked here a while now, don't call me sir, ok? Mr Harrington or Steve is just fine" he sits back in his chair for a moment, "You know I don't have any more shifts available..."

Your heart sinks.

"...but I could use some help getting all the old stock sorted in the back. It would have to be after hours...don't want your band mates thinking I'm playing favourites...interested?"

Your heart leaps, "One hundred per cent interested Si...Mr Harrington"

He claps his hands together, "Fantastic!" Then, he chirps, "What are you saving up for?"

"A guitar, it's just turned up in the store." You grab your phone and show him the picture. He shoots you a look, "Can you...er...send this photo to me?" He says awkwardly.

The printer stops, and Mr Harrington goes to grab the image and puts it in front of you, "What do you see here?" He says nervously.

You look over the picture, and to be honest, all you can see is a lighter patch on Dustin's black sweater.

"Um...a lighter area?" You say hopefully.

He looks at you with a concerned look, "you can't see a hand here?" He circles an area in the picture.

You can't, but you need him on your side and pick up the photo holding it away from you, "you know what? I guess it could very well be. The lighting is low here. Is everything ok?

You send it straight over to him, "Yeah...maybe I'm just seeing things that aren't there... Anyway, Thanks for that. I'm so sorry, I have to make some calls," he says, looking at you and then the door.

"Thank you so much, Mr Harrington. You won't regret this." You say happily, leaving his office.

"Y/N!"

"Yep, what's up?" You turn to Harley.

She looks at you smiling, "I didn't say anything."

You smile back at her, "You just called me over here" you laugh at her mischief.

She laughs back awkwardly, "Um...I think you need a lie-down or a distraction, maybe? There is a huge pile of Vinyl that needs putting out."

You roll your eyes at her, sit in the delivery, and sort through it. You see a glint of light from the corner of your eye, and you shield your eye from it.

The shutters had just rolled up on the second-hand store, and there she was. Your sigh is lovesick, your heart pounds in your ears, and your fingers grip the record in your hands so tightly you feel like you could almost snap it.

You had to have that guitar. It had to be yours.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter six - “lake, the sequel”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.7k

synopsis: reader seeks out bucky after his dramatic exit and they find themselves earnestly conversing... back at the lake

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: this story is available on my wattpad as a bucky x OC fic @ / typicaldaze :)

He didn't like this feeling. No, he didn't like this feeling at all. He hated it, in fact. It was betrayal, bodily betrayal. He just could not sit in that room any longer or he would've peeled his skin off. His lungs felt as if they were bound with barbed wire and the state of his stomach had him worried he was going to throw up. Most of all he felt guilty. How could he have just stormed out of the room like that? She was going to hate him now. How could he let this happen?

He was thinking this over whilst sitting at the lake, hands in the grass, trying to distract the physical body from the mental cacophony he had just endured. He had somehow found his way there after leaving Y/N. These extremely unpleasant sensations were unfamiliar. Was he sick? Could he have been drugged? He was so confused. Bucky realized he seemed to be confused most of the time. Following that realization, he became mildly pissed off.

The super soldier stared out at the lake. It was a calm day, the water tranquil and clear. It was a stark contrast against his stress. He leaned forward and looked into the water at his reflection.

"Damn," he said out loud.

Is that really what I look like now?

His eyes traced over the long shaggy hair, dark under eyes, and the subtle but noticeable worry lines. This sight reminded him of when he broke the mirror at his old place in Bucharest. Now he remembered why. God, he looked as fucked up as he was. He leaned back and tossed a stone at where his reflection had been.

A deep sigh left his lungs, which were now conveniently working properly.

"Fuckers," he muttered, referring to the mercurial organs.

He had spent nearly two years alone in Bucharest, and he had grown accustomed to living in this new body. He was always on edge, that much he could tell. However, he was never too introspective; he never thought about his feelings or his behavior. All he was focused on was surviving. When there is more to life than survival, that's when things get complicated... not that they weren't complicated before. God, he was running in circles inside his own mind. His scarred and ruined and manipulated mind that resided in this body that was used as a tool for destruction and violence and death-

"Hey."

His head whipped around, startled out of his thought frenzy. Always on edge. Mentally, he shook his head in disappointment.

"Oh! (Y/N)!"

He stood up immediately. "Listen, I'm so sorry about before, I don't know what-"

"It's okay," she said quickly, holding up her hands. "Bucky, you do not need to apologize, everything is totally fine."

He was taken aback. Words didn't seem to work.

"I'm not mad if that's what you were thinking," she said.

"You're not?"

"No, of course not. If anything I was worried."

"I- Worried?"

"Yes, you were clearly in distress, and that room was the last place you wanted to be. I'm glad you found your way back here because you look much better now," (Y/N) explained with earnest eyes.

She could tell he was freaked out? She probably thinks he's insane.

"Yeah, I... I think I'm better now."

He was far from okay, but definitely better than before.

The psychologist sat down next to where he was standing. He didn't move, but looked down at her.

"I don't think it'd be wise to leave you alone here considering you're supposed to be in a session with me right now and you can't go anywhere without an escort. It would most likely lead to suspicion and then trouble you don't need. I'm going to stay with you. We can continue the session if you'd like, but if not we can just sit."

She said this all while looking straight forward at the water.

In all honesty he wasn't sure what to say, so he settled with a breathy, "Okay," before sitting down next to her.

"I'm getting the vibe that this is more of a just sit situation..."

"Yeah... I think I'm all therapy-ed out for today," Bucky said in a meek attempt at a joke.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a wide smile. He then realized that she didn't know he could see it, and that's why this smile seemed different. Most differents in Bucky's life hadn't been outstandingly pleasant. But this was a welcome different. This was a good different. It was genuine and unbridled. That was the most open he'd ever seen her.

Every now and then he forgot that he was a literal trained super spy. He may not have any PhD's, but he had his own way of reading behavior, cues, and subtleties. Perhaps he'd make an effort to be more observant. Perhaps he wanted to learn a little more about what else was behind this new different.

A few beats of comfortable silence passed before he heard the word again.

"Hey," (Y/N) started softly. "I'm sorry if I went a little too far today. I know I said our first session wouldn't be much, but I realize I was pushing too far."

"Oh, it's okay," Bucky replied, looking down at the grass between his knees. "I think it's more my fault anyway. It's not like the questions were super intense."

He let out a loaded sigh. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Bucky it's really okay. If it's anyone's fault it's mine. This whole process is supposed to be based on your comfort levels and at your own pace. And there's nothing wrong with you. Your reaction was completely normal given the circumstances."

Bucky wasn't terribly familiar with reassurance. He turned his head, looking at her dead on. She was so genuine, like she knew all of what she was saying was the all encompassing truth.

Echoes of different combinations of "there's nothing wrong with you" and "completely normal" and "your own pace" flitted around inside him until they melted into a feeling he hadn't felt in so long: hope. It was horrifying... yet it gave him a kind of relief he didn't know he could feel.

The super soldier then realized that (Y/N) was looking right back at him dead on. He was about to stumble through some sort of apology for staring or thankful expression for her kindness, but he noticed that she didn't look like she was necessarily waiting for a response. She was just... looking.

Bucky tried to say something, anything. But he just couldn't seem to pull his eyes away. In this brief moment, he felt crystallized. His conscious, logical brain was somewhere far away, hypnotized by the stillness of the moment. It was only a few seconds, but somehow felt longer. These very few seconds of mental sedation were soon over.

Speak, idiot.

He snapped back to reality, suddenly finding himself inspecting at the grass below him.

"Thank you."

"Of course," she replied without missing a beat. Her tone of voice was water soft.

"(Y/N), do you... do you know what happened with me earlier?" he asked, cautiously. "Like, what was wrong- I mean, not wrong but why I-"

He sighed frustratingly, cutting himself off.

Her face was patient, but she was waiting for a description of something he didn't know how to describe.

"I know I said we were done for today, but I-I don't know how to explain it, and I want to know what it is," he confessed.

"I think you had an anxiety attack."

Anxiety? That couldn't be right. There's no way that could've been from being nervous.

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"Anxiety. It seemed as though you were experiencing high amounts of anxiety. Most people get nervous at times, but those tiny amounts are normal. But, some other people are a lot more nervous a lot more of the time. Sometimes, these peoples' anxiety can get particularly high and be so overwhelming that their body kinda takes over, and they can experience really uncomfortable physical symptoms, and this can turn into an anxiety attack."

"I thought I was... sick or... or drugged or something."

"Well, I'm almost certain you weren't drugged, and I'm pretty sure you can't even get sick."

"Oh."

He honestly didn't know what to say.

"Bucky," she looked straight at him again and he almost felt himself slipping. "In terms of psychology, a lot has progressed since the 40's. I'm not sure how anxiety was presented or studied then, but there's really a lot more to it than people think. And honestly, given your situation, it would be strange if you didn't develop an anxiety disorder."

Anxiety disorder?

"Anxiety disorder? I have that?"

"Well, again, I think we have to do more work to confirm, but that's what it seems like."

"I thought you said I had PTSD?"

"I do. I think you have both."

Christ.

"Wow, I'm a whole sack 'a problems, aren't I?" he chuckled, giving up on trying to internally oppose his short comings.

"You're not a problem, Buck. You had to deal with a whole sack of problems, though," she smiled.

The nickname didn't miss his radar. Was that the first time she's called him that? He ignored how he liked it.

"That's for damn sure."

They conversed for a while after that, and didn't seem to notice how late it was until the sun began to set. The ending day's reflection on the water created an aura so relaxing Bucky didn't want to move. But alas, reality calls.

(Y/N) stood up. "If you're not back soon, they'll start looking for you. We should probably get going."

Bucky stood up, too, following her request.

"I'll walk you back to your quarters," she offered.

And so they went, conversation continuing naturally, as if they were old friends. Bucky found it strange that someone he knew so little was so easy to talk to. He brushed it off as some inherent therapist quality.

He still found her hard to read although he knew her more with each passing word between them.

Despite all of this, the walk back, with cool air, a melting sky, and languid steps, was the best thing he had experienced since coming out of cryo. His memory may be spotty, and his mind may be rough, but this, this he was sure of.