#I'm very sorry but I've started getting a very low tolerance for bullshit lmao

[blakbonnet]

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[bondsmagii]

re: being immune to cults....same? like I feel like for me it's less of a "I don't want to be lovebombed" and more just "oh shit that meeting was TODAY? sorry I fell asleep after work" or like "oh I'm sorry I saw your text about this event and I totally meant to reply and I wrote out two sentences but then I forgot and it's been two weeks oops!" like. I am not immune to cult ideology. but I am too socially incompetent to actually get sucked into one, because cults take up WAY too much time that I would rather spend just sort of chilling on my own.

yeah, that's another thing I wouldn't be able to keep up with lmao. all the meetings and responsibilities... like I know cults deliberately keep you busy and heavily involved so you have less time to think about it and also as much of your life as possible revolves around it, but I have a very low tolerance for doing shit that involves other people and my own time is something I both value and need to stay sane. if a cult was all up in my business demanding this or that from me, I would sincerely start hating them. I don't care how much they told me my soul was doomed or whatever; I would be outta there.

as for cult ideology, I really don't think I'm that way inclined. I am too contrary. like, ever since I was a child I've been kind of obnoxious about it -- I ask too many questions, and as soon as I sense blustering, ill-preparedness, or suspect bullshit, I am like a bat out of hell trying to pin down exactly what it is and then call the person out. I can be quite pedantic and I'm so Like That in arguments that multiple teachers have said I could be a lawyer (derogatory). I thrive on chaos and I will always choose to throw a cat among the pigeons. I sincerely believe that any cult I wandered into would kick me out, as has basically happened twice already. my desire to expose untruths or hypocrisy is so strong that even growing up with abusive parents didn't stop me -- I mouthed off to them more than anyone, and probably made my life significantly more difficult, but I cannot abide bullshit and I cannot suffer not confirming facts and statements for myself. I need to fucking know.

does this make me a pain in the whole ass? yes. but it has its advantages.